Revenant Wings
by xAltaria
Summary: Sequel to "Nascent Requiem". Apparently, saving the world twice wasn't good enough. Torn between lingering depression and newfound, uncertain feelings, Lightning finds herself caught in the embrace of a dark new plot, and this time, it isn't only herself that she has to worry about making it out alive. M for language, darker themes and violence. HxL. COMPLETE.
1. The Angels' Second Advent

**So hey guys, and welcome to _Nascent Requiem_'s sequel, _Revenant Wings! (Warning:_ Long-ass A/N ahead, skip down to the grey line if you feel so inclined)**

**I know I've said somewhere before that I only work on one fic at a time, but honestly, _Unwritten_ is really being a bother to me in that I get stuck so easily on chapters and I get so caught up in the way things sound, it makes me want to rip my hair out, so I decided to get cracking on RW while I'm stuck. n_n I still intend to work on _Unwritten_ and finish it before I turn my full attention to RW, but you'll know when I'm stuck on _Unwritten_ when I update RW instead. xD  
**

**Rambling aside, this _is_ NR's sequel, so I do advise you read NR first, as RW may be a bit confusing for you if you don't. That being said, I have a long list of people to thank, for reviewing NR after it was completed: That One Reviewee, H-thar, Lieutenant General Sora Hikaru, Soul Climax, Crowley (and actually, no, it was not, not intentionally anyways... I really like the meaning of the word _'revenant', _and thought it fit, so here we are. n_n), Lightarcana, Echo the Dreamer, GunMetalX, GKMader, Labradoodles and Muffins, Random Person20302, Zapper90, OscarMerrinoz96, Erifrats101, Mylaervain, and thewhitespirit! You guys really know how to make a girl smile. _Arigatou Gozaimasu!_ 8D  
**

**That being said, we're almost ready to go. _Revenant Wings_ picks up three months after the epilogue of _Nascent Requiem, _to just set the timeframe for y'all. And this chapter is once again, surely and undeniably dedicated to my lovely and awesome LadyAlaska. (:  
**

**Disclaimer: _Final Fantasy XIII_ is owned by Square Enix and is always happily returned at least partially intact.  
**

* * *

Chapter 1: The Angels' Second Advent

Slamming the phone down onto the desk, Lightning tried to resist the temptation to sweep the metal-and-plastic thing right off the wooden surface. Muttering under her breath, she turned to flick the light off in the room, leaving the piles of paperwork behind as she left. _Ever since... _that_, it seems like there's been nothing to do but paperwork. __And these new recruits... aren't helping at all. _

Even after so long, it was still an odd feeling to look over at the newer soldiers from what she would always see as the 'wrong side of the desk'. It wasn't that she _minded_ the promotions in themselves terribly, it was that she'd have given anything to be out there in the field, killing monsters and patrolling streets alike; an old habit of thinking from darker days she couldn't shake off no matter how hard she tried. It clung to her like fog clung to thick ferns, unable to let go even though sunlight penetrated the upper levels of the forest. _And so, instead, I'm stuck doing all this... _

Slamming the door behind her, ignoring the summonses of various officers that badgered her whenever she left her room, Lightning tightened her hand on her omega weapon.

"I'm leaving," she snapped curtly at the young woman who sat as secretary to all the higher ranking officers. The girl looked startled to have been addressed directly, hastily brushing aside long aqua locks, before messily snapping into a salute.

"Y-Yes ma'am!" Looking flustered as Lightning swept by her, the girl tried to rearrange her uniform into something that looked more professional. Striding past a captain that tried to get her to sign something, she left the busy building behind, walking into the moonlit twilight of New Bodhum. It was only then that she took her first deep breath of the day, letting the chilling air push out the daily issues that surrounded her like pressuring weights.

It was often that she was asked why she chose to continue to be a soldier, even after everything that it had ultimately cost her. Shaking her head at the veteran pensions involved in leaving and snapping harshly at the people who wanted to pry further, her only response had been: _"I want to keep fighting."_ That much, at the very least, was true. There was a part of her that had always been fighting, had never stopped battling enemies, whether they were real ones that were after blood, or her own emotions and memories that chased doggedly at her mental condition. _Serah..._

It was still hard, even after so long, even after so many people had told her to keep living. _It's not... that easy. Whoever made up the term "moving on" is an idiot; some memories and emotions were never meant to be let go of. __Some memories and emotions will always be part of who I am... no matter what. __And I know that. __But... _But letting her emotions and fears take over... wasn't the way to _live_ either. It was a means to exist, to struggle through endless days with nothing but carefully controlled pain as the only guidelight, but it wasn't a way to _live. He taught me that..._ A slight blush creeping up her cheeks at the thought, Lightning buried half her face in a gloved hand to hide it, even though the streets were empty, her only company the harsh orange light that the street lamps emitted.

The person in question was none other than Hope, who she'd readily allowed to move back in after his graduation and the subsequent events that had followed it. At first, it had been awkward, with four years of catching up to do, both in terms of physical events that had happened and emotional disparities that hadn't quite managed to make it across the sparse phone calls given back and forth, but in the end, what had been obvious in the moment of silence under Cocoon was still plaintively present and inevitably dominant. _And I'd be lying to myself if I said that what happened wasn't the singular most meaningful thing since... _When Lightning had realized that to be the undeniable truth, that was also the moment it had dawned on her how much she'd changed since... _Since..._

_The old Lightning would have strangled herself before she admitted that she _wanted _to be close to someone, to have someone to confide in. But... I can't think like that anymore. Because connections make us who we are - we're defined by the people we meet. By the people we love and the people who love us._

The old Lightning would have jumped off a cliff before she admitted something like that too.

As her boot scraped the wet clods of dirt that led up to the cliffside on top of which her house had been built, she wondered briefly again, at the very nature of the relationship her mental well-being had so quickly come to rely on. That the 'connection', as Serah had put it so long ago, was there, there was no doubt. That both of them _wanted_ it to exist, there was also no doubt. _But is it right? _The old demons came so quickly she had to pause for a moment in the brightening moonlight and look back at the spiderweb of lights spread beneath the height of the rock and earth path whose sides were overgrown with Gran Pulse flora, trying to use the sight to calm the sudden rush of emotions. Giving a slight shake of her head, Lightning tried to push those thoughts out of her mind. _I... _

She arrived at her doorstep too soon - quickly rearranging her face to the neutral, impassive mask she wore to work everyday, she didn't even have to raise a hand to knock nor fish in her pack for her keys. The door was opened the moment her boot made a small scuffing sound on the stone steps that led up to it. Expectant, but shy, viridian eyes were waiting for her.

"Hey." She tried not to sound too nonchalant and tired, but she didn't want to betray the mental argument that she'd had with herself just moments before. _Whatever I think, whatever doubts I have... I can't hurt him while I'm at it. I've done that enough already.  
_

Hope wasn't fooled by her tone; proof that he knew her better than she thought he did. "You look tired," he remarked wryly as she made her way to the couch, sitting down on the closest seat with a flop.

"Guess I am." Pinching the bridge of her nose, Lightning looked up, ice blue gaze meeting his emerald one. "I'm tired of paperwork." That much was at least partially true - there didn't seem to be an end to the amount of trees that were killed in the filling out of her daily reports. _What I wouldn't give to give myself a field job once in awhile..._ The thing about paperwork was that she was sitting still while she was doing it - her mind wandered less when she was doing _something_, and sitting there all day with a pen in hand didn't exactly cut it; unmoving in her chair, her mind was free to roam as the tiny printed letters swam uselessly before her. It wasn't a rare occurrence that she had to reread something because she hadn't processed it the first time.

Hope let out a soft chuckle. "You're always complaining," he teased. "Is it really that bad?"

It was proof to how much he'd changed her since he'd gotten back when Lightning realized she'd let out a snort. "You'd be complaining too... if you had to order around idiots who don't know _how_ to follow orders, much less stay alive in a real combat situation, and fill out stacks of paperwork while you're at it."

He played with the light blue pauldron on her left shoulder absentmindedly as she talked. "It's not Lieutenant-Colonel Farron for nothing, is it?" The look in his verdant gaze was nothing short of amused.

"_Right," _she scoffed gently. "When I want to look after people who seem all too eager to get themselves killed... I'll let you know, alright?" Despite her tone though, a smile was forming on his face as their fingers found each others' - hers resting just on top of the fabric of the armrest with his cupped gently around them. Lightning found a small smile pulling at her own expression at both the gesture and his silent reaction.

The blaring ring of the phone made them both look up sharply as she swiveled her head to where the black plastic thing sat cradled on a small ledge across the room. "I'll get it." Making her way slowly across the expanse of her living room, Lightning let it ring two more times before delicately plucking it from the holder, narrowing her eyes in half-annoyance when she caught sight of the caller ID. She stood there, leaning against the wall, waiting.

"Yo, Sis. Guess who?"

Suppressing a sigh, she tried not to let the irritation creep into her voice. "You know, Snow, it's not exactly difficult to 'guess who' when I have caller ID." She heard him laugh, the sound crackling into static over the line.

"You sound more confident than since we last talked, Sis. Does this have anything to do with a certain someone living at your house currently?" Feeling a muscle pull at the corner of her eye in irritation, Lightning tried to keep her voice calm.

"And how... exactly do you know this, Snow?"

This time, she had to hold the receiver away from her ear when his laugh grated over the phone line. "Kid told me himself, _Lieutenant-Colonel," _he laughed, placing heavy emphasis on the title. "Really, Sis, you ought to monitor your house more carefully if you don't want stuff like that to leak out." Clearing his throat, Snow's voice took on a more serious tone. "Listen, I'm not here to argue with you about what may -or may not- go on inside your household. Got a room to spare? It's about time I paid you a visit like I've been meaning to for awhile." His tone grew more sombre still as he continued. "You're alright... aren't you?"

Pushing back the instant emotional relapse that his words instantly brought, Lightning fought to keep her voice steady. "Yes... I'm fine." _I'll have to be._

"Excellent. Cause I'm gonna be at your place in..." He paused, a musing tone present in his voice. "...an hour or so, so you'd better be."

She barely had time to process his last words before she was spluttering indignantly. "Wait, what do you mean you'll-" The resounding click and the subsequent tone that signalled Snow had hung up on her left her standing there, staring at the black piece of plastic still gripped in her hand.

"What?" She didn't realize Hope was standing by her left shoulder looking down at her with a worried expression on his face. "Light, what...?"

Turning to him, Lightning tried not to show either her shock or indignation on her face. "Snow. He just said... he's inviting himself over." Catching his dubious glance at her reaction, she continued. "In an hour."

But instead of looking angry or surprised, Hope just chuckled again. "That's just how Snow is. He's as exuberant as ever. Sure, there are days where he's, well, full of memories too, but..." Hope trailed off awkwardly as he laid a hand on her arm comfortingly. "Don't worry... he won't bother you as much as you think he will."

For a moment, Lightning had to stop and wonder how Hope knew this, before the answer hit her in the face; Hope had been chased off to live with Snow in his schooling years in Eden. The instant that realization crossed her mind, guilt pushed its way through everything else. _Because I was too weak and too pathetic to let him stay here. _Some form of her thoughts must have shown on her face, because Hope's grip on her arm tightened as he took a step closer. "Hey... you okay?"

Swallowing past the sudden burn in her throat, Lightning was able to muster a nod, a nod that he wasn't fooled by. His other hand found her right arm as he stood in front of her. "_Light._ You're doing it again... For the last time... there's nothing for me to forgive, alright?"

Turning her head away slightly, she focussed her gaze on one of the cushions lying astray on the couches. _No matter how many times you say it... there'll always be something there that has to do with me. _She was reluctantly pulled into a shy embrace, but it was one she made no attempt to get out of. Her head resting against his collarbone, his voice was just above her right ear. "Please?" This time, there was something of a plea in the soft tones.

Breathing out deeply, she slowly reciprocated the gesture, slipping her arms around his waist loosely. "Okay." Her agreement was barely louder than a whisper, but she heard his appreciative hum in response. His lips had barely grazed over her forehead when a different buzzing sound filled the room, one that was coming from her phone stuffed down her pack.

Breaking apart quickly, she groped for the small plastic thing, flipping it open. There was no way it was Snow - he'd just called; Hope was standing right in front of her, and she doubted it was Sazh. That meant there was only one other place it could be.

"_Lieutenant-Colonel!"_ The voice over the line was panicky and distressed as she quickly pressed the thing to her ear. "There's a situation! An unknown is attacking the city's southern side and we've lost contact with three squads sent to take care of it!"

Lightning tried to push herself from the emotion-wracked, uncertain individual she had been a mere few moments earlier to the professional she knew the officer expected from her. "Okay. _Okay._ Are you sure there's only _one_ of them?" Trying to maintain an impassive voice over the obvious panic of the subordinate wasn't easy, with Hope listening to every word that was being shouted over the receiver.

"Ma'am, as far as we can see, he's alone. But we're not sure, we could send-"

She cut him off. "Where's _your _commander?"

"He's gone to deal with the situation, ma'am, but we've lost contact. His superior is in Eden with the generals and the rest of the higher ups; we're requesting backup as fast as possible from them, but it's possible they won't make it on time - we got wind of this barely twenty minutes ago and whoever it is looks like he's made it through the three squads we sent already. We need-"

"I'm coming." With that, she snapped the phone shut, gripping the plastic tightly in her hand, feeling the familiar pounding beginning to course through her bloodstream. Turning awkwardly to Hope, who had stood beside her the whole time, silently listening to the conversation. "Sorry..." The apology was out of her mouth before she even had time to think about what she was saying - the one word was automatic and uncontrolled and she saw him flinch.

"No. It's your job. You have to go. Don't worry about Snow - I'll take care of him." Walking with her as she made for the door, his hand lingered on her shoulder. "Stay safe... alright?" The last words tugged at something deep inside as she swallowed. "Promise me."

Their hands met in a final desperate clench before she let go, fingers going for her omega weapon.

"I'll try."

_And for you... I will. _

* * *

***bites nails***

**So, I really hope I did alright in an attempt to create as intriguing a sequel as NR was, and I do hope that Chapter One was alright for you all. Leave love in a review if you wish (and concrits are always welcomed), and I'll see you all again in RW for the next chapter which may or may not be hopefully soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	2. Bared Fangs

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings!_**

**Oh my god... _Unwritten_ is being a pain in the rear end to write. I was all happy with the way Chapter One of RW came out yesterday, so I sat down in front of my laptop, opened up Chapter 12 of Unwritten, and said "Let's do this!" with an air of confidence... An hour later, I've deleted and rewritten the same segment three times, with no end in sight. ._. All I can say is, I blame Serah and Snow for being so goddamn hard to get right - Serah sounds too timid and Snow's trying to hard to be a hero. *sighs* So I closed the file, and cracked my knuckles for Chapter 2 of RW, and this wonderfully, blissfully easy (relatively speaking of course) to write chapter came into being. 8D  
**

**Enough self indulgence and ranting - my love for my supporters is eternal: Berl (awh, thank you!), VengeanceUpholding (ohmigosh... you are too kind; thanks so much), H-thar (I know right? I share her anger at killing trees...), GunMetalX (I'm glad you think I got them right! Being in character is something I try very hard to maintain n_n), Crowley (and no, it won't. I'm afraid I'm a little too angry at XIII-2 to include their characters), That One Reviewee (haha, surprisingly, the ending is already planned, and NO, it will NOT be a XIII-2), thewhitespirit (Oops, should've cleared that up last chapter, sorry! - Hope is 18, and Light is 25), Lieutenant General Sora Hikaru, Mylaervain, and Zapper90! Oh my god, you guys are amazing, and I hope not to disappoint you all - thank you all so much for the well wishes; it seriously makes my day.  
**

**Without further ado, I present to you - Chapter 2. Enjoy as always! (:**

* * *

Chapter Two: Bared Fangs

The streets were ominously silent as Lightning set off at a run through the paved roads, past caring about the sound her boots were making when they came into contact with the rough, hewn stone. Omega weapon drawn, she made for the Corps Building, her mind reeling with possibilities of what the unknown could be.

It could be anything, really, anything from a monster to- _No!_ The instant backlash of memories from four years ago crowding her mind was like a physical blow had slammed into her chest. _No..._ _Not that. I__t can't be._ She wanted to deny it, she wanted to reassure herself that it wasn't possible, but she didn't know that. Not without hard, cold, fact. Sure, she _thought_ she'd killed the bastard - _But I passed out right afterwards. I don't know how long it was before Hope and Snow came... Anything could have happened. _Swallowing against the sudden onslaught of thoughts, Lightning tried to focus on what she had to do. _It doesn't matter who, or what, it is - it's got to be dealt with._

She found herself at the front entrance a mere fifteen minutes later, breathless as she pushed pink bangs out of her face. The place was a blaze of activity as backup squads were being sent out to reinforce the city; quickly finding a harassed looking captain who looked like he was in charge of the pandemonium, she crossed her arms as he glanced at her. "I need a status report... _immediately_."

The man's eyes had widened when he realized who it was; hastily pulling a salute, he pulled her through the crowd until they stood at the top of the steps, overlooking all the soldiers who'd been called back to act as reinforcements. "Yes, ma'am. We've sent out five squads so far... communication's static after they've gone in, no messengers sent back to find us. The commanding officer's just left with the sixth."

"Any idea what it's supposed to be?"

The captain looked down at his boots. "No ma'am. We've got a rough position, but that's it. The perpetrator seems to have moved towards the southern hills, we've got troops evacuating citizens that live in the southern districts in case he comes back."

Before she could reply, a harried shout came from the very back of the main entrance hall, rapid footsteps accompanying it as a corporal waved the radio frantically in the air. "We've just lost contact with Com. Smith! Sir, if this keeps up-" Holding up a hand to silence him, Lightning pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to think.

Whoever it was, it was dangerous... that much was obvious. How it was disrupting communications, she didn't know, but that was thinking on the bright side; the radio and other communication devices could have been just as easily crushed underfoot when its owner was no longer alive to use it in any way.

Trying to muster the 'soldier sense' was easier here, when she was away from Hope - because when she was with him, her first instinct wasn't to do her job, it was to make sure he was safe. Lightning still wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel about that, but it was the undeniable truth that the desire to protect him had never left. Here, where she knew he was safe, and where _she_ was thrust right into the face of the situation, those feelings, whatever they were supposed to be, were much easier to push away. "Okay," she finally breathed out, trying to make the words as flat and professional as she could. "How many reserves do we have left? Assuming Eden isn't going to make it on time."

The captain did a quick head count. "Five squads, ma'am."

Clenching her left hand into a fist, she strode towards the very edge of the stairway platform that overlooked the plaza. "I want two of them to go over to the northern hills, just to make sure there're no enemy reinforcements there. I want another going in Cocoon's direction, same thing. The fourth's staying here."

"And the last, ma'am?" The captain's voice was hesitant and she thought she could detect a note of fear in it.

Whipping around to face him, she drew her omega weapon, fingers gripping its handle, another old habit of hers to relieve both stress and frustration. "The last one's coming with me. I'm going. You're staying here; I'm putting you in charge until Eden gets back to us. Got it?" She saw him open his mouth before closing it rapidly, clearly thinking better of arguing with a superior. Still, he walked forwards a few hesitant steps, closing the distance between them a little.

"Lieutenant-Colonel, surely you don't have to go yourself-" he began timidly.

"_Are you disobeying my orders?_" It was a little harsher than it had to be, but Lightning didn't want -or need- to waste time arguing over petty things like that. _And yes... of course I need to go myself. I want to see exactly _what_ is so successful at attacking this city. I have to make sure it's not... them. _The captain flinched visibly at her words, hastily taking several steps back as she glared at him.

"N-no... I'll give the order." Quickly backing away from her, it wasn't long before she found that the squad she'd requested was behind her, weapons silently drawn.

_Right... whatever the hell you are, you won't be messing with me. _

* * *

Hope passed Snow a coat hanger, which the bigger man refused with a flourish, making his way over to the sofa and sitting down with a soft groan of the springs underneath. Arms draped over the backrest, Snow grinned at him, skipping right over the formalities when he opened his mouth.

"So. How's living with Sis going?"

Turning slightly, not wanting Snow to see him beginning to blush, Hope cleared his throat. "Alright." _Maker, I sound exactly like how I told myself not to sound._

Not fooled, Snow let out a shout of laughter. "Ha! You can't fool me; c'mon, I've heard the way you talk about her... it can't be all innocent like the two of you like to pretend." Louder footsteps approached him from behind -Hope had pointedly turned towards the dark window- as Snow stopped right beside him, wriggling his fingers devilishly in his face. "Asked her out yet?"

Shoving his hand away, Hope turned to glare -unconvincingly- at the blond. "None of your business, alright, Snow?"

Unfazed, Snow pretended to look scared as he took a mock step back. "_Real_ scary, kid. Looks like Sis's been rubbing off on you." His gaze took on a more serious look as he continued, voice now noticeably less exuberant. "She sounds alright at any rate... good job."

Looking away embarrassedly at the unexpected compliment, Hope found his hands trapped on the wooden frame of the cold window. "Yeah, well..." He didn't want to tell Snow that there were still days where the old mental demons clawed away at her - she disappeared all too quickly up to her room, and he'd learned soon enough it was wiser to just let her be when it happened. Admittedly, those days were becoming less and less, but there were still things that she snapped so easily at he wondered if she would ever be 'alright', in the perfect sense of the word. _But better Snow not know that... I think I know her well enough to know she'd kill me if she knew I blabbed. _

A hand clapped on his shoulder unannounced - Hope looked up to see Snow gazing out the window at the moon-washed back lawn, the shimmering crystal of Cocoon visible just beyond the dark silhouettes of trees. "I know she can't be perfect... Hell, even _I-_" He cut himself off roughly. "There're things you don't forget. Ever," he finished awkwardly. Looking slightly more cheerful, or perhaps he'd made the effort to, Snow gave him a watery grin. "But still... I don't think anyone but you could've pulled her out of that like you did." Looking unusually serious, Snow kept a straight face as he continued. "She'll figure it out eventually. But I must say... I don't want to be waiting to be an uncle forever, alright?"

It was several very long heartbeats before Hope grasped the implication of the last sentence. Blushing furiously, he turned to splutter indignantly at the blond brawler who was doubled over, howling with laughter at his reaction. "Snow, I don't even - _Wow_, it's not even like that..." Catching the unconvinced look in those ocean blue eyes, he turned, burying his face in his hands, letting out a groan. "Not funny."

Leaving Snow still chortling with laughter, Hope turned to sit down on one of the couches. "Seriously, Snow, I'll tell her you said that," he snapped, his irritation finally getting the better of him when the laughter showed no sign of stopping. Most of the colour instantly drained from the blond's face.

"No you wouldn't." _Wow. I didn't expect him to react so quickly to the threat of telling Light._

Putting on a slightly reproachful face, but feeling triumphant all the same, he rested his chin on the back of his palm of the hand that was lying on the armrest. "Yes I would. I know you're not scared of me, but I do know you're scared of _her_."

Snow shot him a rather angry look; his expression really wasn't all that hard to read. Hope could tell he was balancing the desire to continue the blatant teasing with an angry Lightning who would no doubt be in no mood for jokes when she returned. Finally, it appeared that his instinct to preserve self won out - muttering that it was inevitable anyways, the bigger man sat down with a flop on the unoccupied couch, turning on the television and claiming he'd watch a spot of news before going to bed.

Sighing tiredly, Hope made his way up the stairs - Snow knew this house well enough. Passing by Lightning's empty room that was flooded in both moonlight and shadows, unwanted memories were dragged to the forefront of his mind by the sight that was all too familiar, compounded by the worry that she had still not returned.

His hands clenching into fists at the thought, he tried to convince himself that she was past that stage.

* * *

_Unused to the now unfamiliar mattress, Hope turned onto his side, trying to get comfortable. It had already been two weeks back in her house, and he was trying to adjust to the new pace of life; admittedly, it was harder than he expected, with unforeseen awkwardness when it came to living with her again. Lightning often left the house at the crack of dawn, slipping out quietly, clearly not wanting to wake him, and returning late in the afternoon, sometimes well past dark. She had told him, quite firmly, that he was free to do whatever he wanted and that she was in charge of the housework, so long as he didn't burn down her house or something, but the thought of sitting around all day doing nothing wasn't exactly appealing.  
_

_So he'd taken upon himself to do the shopping and the cooking. Smiling ruefully at the memory of her reaction when he'd first made her dinner, Hope felt a twinge of content at the thought. At first, she'd been angry - she'd snapped that he didn't have to do that before he'd quietly cut her off with "I want to, though. You don't have to work so hard... you know."  
_

_She'd frozen on the spot, surprise crossing her aquamarine gaze before she looked down - it was only then he noticed she was shaking slightly as she held a hand up to her mouth, pressing it over her lips and nose. He'd been about to apologize before she stopped him with her other hand, pushing back at his attempt to reach out to her.  
_

_"Sorry... I didn't mean... It's just... that's something Serah said to me once."  
_

_This time, she didn't refuse the gesture as he draped his arms over her shoulders, waiting for her to continue. But she didn't, instead choosing to rest her forehead on his shoulder. "Sorry," she apologized again, voice subdued.  
_

_"Don't be... it's okay," he breathed quietly, startled when she looked up. That motion had brought them to the awkward position in that their noses almost touched, with her looking up as he looked down on her. About to apologize again, he was stopped by the small embarrassed smile spreading on her lips. He didn't think he missed the faint blush as she turned away with a soft snort, slim fingers pulling at his hands.  
_

_"Come on... let's eat."  
_

_So he'd been unprepared for the moment, as he lay there in the darkness, that she cried out, her voice carrying through two closed doors and a hallway. He was out of bed in a flash, throwing open the door to her room with unnecessary force. Closing his hands over her shoulders, suddenly, he was desperate to wake her up before the dream she was no doubt having could claw further at her delicate emotional balance she was struggling to maintain. _

_"Light, wake up!" He didn't think he was imagining the panic in his own voice. She fought his grip, still clutched in the realms of sleep, for a moment before she seemed to realize where she was, her struggles stopping the heartbeat she realized who he was.  
_

_"Hope," she croaked, pulling herself into a sitting position. "I woke you up... didn't I?" she mumbled, looking away, but not before he caught the flash of pain in her eyes.  
_

_"I wasn't asleep," he reassured her softly. "Light... are you okay?"  
_

_She shot him a look with a hardened expression as she shook off his grip. "I'm fine." But her voice caught on the last syllable, despite the obvious strength she'd forced into it, and he knew she knew he wasn't convinced.  
_

_"No, you're not," he countered, slightly abashed that she would choose to continue hiding things from him after everything that had happened. "Remember? You have to tell us if you're in pain." At that, her hands closed around the fabric of the covers - he saw her knuckles whiten in the moonlight before she looked down, pink bangs obscuring what he could see of her face. He couldn't tell what she was thinking, and several heartbeats stretched on in silence.  
_

_"It's just..." It was a long time before she continued, but he didn't press her, wanting her to say things without being pressured. "Bad dreams," she finally murmured quietly. "But... see, this is why I didn't want you to stay with me... I didn't want you to see this, I didn't want to..."  
_

_Hesitantly, he rested a hand on her shoulder again, not daring to make any other physical advancement in the gesture of comfort. "I'm not bothered," he replied softly. Hope tried not to let his own feelings show on his face; the fact that she'd distanced herself from him because she didn't want to hurt_ him_ was both heartbreakingly painful and impossibly warming. "But Light... stop worrying about me. I won't be bothered... alright? I want to _help_ you, not stand there __at the sidelines doing nothing... okay?"_

_It hurt a little that he'd have to tell her that, after what they had gone through - he'd seen her at her worst already-, but he pushed it away - it was selfish and he knew it. A soft wetness on the hand he'd left lingering on her shoulder surprised him for a moment before he hastily brushed it away with his thumb. "I'm sorry..." Her apology was barely audible. "I'm the most selfish person I know."  
_

_"No, you're not!" His denial came so fast he wasn't sure whether he'd actually processed the words before he said them or it was just a reaction. It didn't matter - it was the truth he wanted to say. "Light, it's_ okay._ I just want you to tell me when it comes back... I want to help, alright?" She didn't pull away this time when he tightened the grip on her shoulder, his hands brushing the ends of her cherry coloured hair as he pulled her closer. It came as a warm surprise when she relaxed slightly against him, slipping her hands under his and clasping them at his back. __  
_

_"Thank you."  
_

_Their lips had met for the briefest heartbeat the moment after the last words had been breathed quietly by his left ear, before she rested her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes again and murmuring that he ought to go back to bed now.  
_

* * *

Resting his head against the doorframe of her room, Hope tried to shake off the clinging fragments of memories of that night. She'd finally fallen asleep afterwards, but he'd only left her room when he was sure she wasn't having another nightmare. _Maker, back then, I didn't know it was still... that bad. I thought she would have gotten better..._ Pushing away those traitorous thoughts, he made his way to his room, flicking on the bathroom light as he reached for the toothpaste.

As he spat out the minty tang of the thick goo, Hope tried to reassure himself. _She _is _better now_, _and Maker knows I'm not giving up. _Shutting off the bright yellow of the bathroom light, he was greeted by the darkness of his room as he slowly padded to his bed, sitting down on the covers before he laid his head on the pillow, still painfully aware of her empty room and the snores that had replaced it coming from the couch somewhere downstairs - it sounded like Snow had fallen asleep while watching television. The images came to his mind as he stared up at the blank ceiling, trying not to imagine the worst, before he could even prepare himself mentally.

_Light... I really, really hope that you're okay out there. Please tell me... you'll be okay._

* * *

A spray of bullets ended up in a resounding crack in the wall opposite as Lightning flattened herself against the rock of the hills, her slender frame pressed against the rough stone. Tightening her grip on her gunblade, she fought the urge to hiss out loud as she saw another soldier drop dead in the crevice only a few yards away from her.

They started passing the bullet riddled bodies at the edge of town, strewn in various forms of death; she'd had to close her eyes at some of them, at the unnatural way some of their limbs were bent. Slow footsteps were nearing her, and she wanted to shout out an order, but that was impossible - she would not only give away where she was concealed from the unrelenting rounds of shots, but she'd be giving away the place where her soldiers were hiding too.

So far, she hadn't actually seen who exactly it was that was behind all of this - she'd caught the flash of a shadow as they passed into the hills, but it wasn't enough to discern a face or a name. The shadow had definitely been humanoid though, and she'd felt her stomach twist at the thought. The moment one of the soldiers had stepped into the shadow of one of the canyons that the hills concealed, he'd been sniped. From where, she didn't even have the time to analyze the shot before more bullets had started to rain down on them.

All order had broken loose then, as every single soldier had scrambled to find some sort of cover lest he be the next one to be sniped. Luckily, a crevice with a slight overhang had been only a few feet away from where she'd been, just behind the scouters and Lightning had dived for it as a bullet drilled into the ground where she'd been just a fraction of a second before. Some of the other soldiers hadn't been so lucky, and the scarlet stains still spreading on the rock face was tantamount to that.

"I know you're there." The voice was guttural and cold, but relief gripped at her chest - it wasn't the one that threaded all too often in her dreams, haunting her with the nightmarish images of Serah's death. "Come and play... unless you're too scared. Afraid I'm going to do you in like I did with everyone else who was sent to dispatch of me?"

Pulling in controlled, even breaths, Lightning knew better than to fall for the provocation. Some of the surviving soldiers, however, didn't seem to think so, and those who did were quickly dropped by the unforgiving fire of a gun. _How... Of course. He's been taking weapons from dead soldiers. _

_Shit.  
_

Biting her tongue so as to not say the curse word out loud, she glanced around, finding one, two, three gleaming pauldrons in the darkness, half hidden behind the crevice after hers. There was no way to issue an order, and Lightning knew she'd have to make a move soon. _Goddamn, I didn't come here to watch them all die!_

The moment the bright moonlight was tainted by a dark shadow, she moved, clicking the omega weapon into gun mode. Her first shot caught whoever it was by surprise, but he reacted too quickly for the motion to be, well, human. _No one... can move that fast!_ Avoiding the first shot aimed for her shoulder, she knocked away the gun with a swipe from her gunblade.

That had been a dire miscalculation on her part - assuming he was only armed with one weapon. His other arm flicked out towards her, an army knife clutched in thick fingers. She moved back enough to avoid the swipe meant for her throat, but not far enough - the serrated blade dug into her forehead just above her right eyebrow.

The motion tore a short cry from her lips as she landed on her side, sudden gunfire echoing in her eardrums as she struggled to get up. Hastily wiping away the scarlet warmth that had collected too quickly on the cut, Lightning knew she had perhaps a few minutes before the blood loss would get to her, at which point she would undoubtedly be a sitting duck. _One that's just begging to be killed. _

She hoped at least that her move would grant her soldiers the time window to perhaps get in a good shot or two.

That wasn't the case, however. Whoever it was had sniped two of them who'd stumbled out blindly before they could even raise their weapons to shoulder height, again reacting too quickly to be human, and the third was fighting a losing battle. The officer had managed to only land a shot into the ankle of the figure before the figure had gotten ahold of his head - she heard the sickening crunch as it collided with the rock face of the cliff.

Her gunblade had dug into his side the moment he was on her again, but whether that was enough or not, she wasn't able to tell - a thick hand closed around her wrist, twisting it until the weapon clattered to the floor.

"You seem to be their leader... At least, you're a cut above those weaklings you call soldiers." Her back was pressed against the rock surface of the cliff - there was absolutely nowhere to run. She heard his foot crunch the radio that had fallen from the lapel of the dead soldier just behind them. "Still no match for me though..."

It was then, when he shoved his face into hers, that she saw him clearly for the first time. If his figure was humanoid enough, his features weren't - with slitlike nostrils and overly large scarlet pupils, the mane of greyish hair behind him might have resembled a lion's. Her breath caught in her throat when she realized the hand clenched around her wrist was multi-jointed.

Fighting the tiredness and lightheadedness that was no doubt being brought on by the wound to her forehead, she locked gazes with it. "So kill me, and be done with it," she hissed slowly. _Hope..._

"No." The growled voice held, if it were possible, amusement. "You see, I need to send that capital of yours a message. And a living messenger is better than a dead one... you seem worthy of that task. I will only say this once: your people are not welcome here."

_What?_

He cocked the gun he'd picked off the ground at her, the barrel gleaming in the moonlight. Lightning could feel her heartbeat pushing through her temples and throat, all instincts screaming at her to move, to do _something_, but she found that she was frozen to the spot, unable to come up with a reply and unable to formulate some sort of plan to force her body into action.

The cold metal of the weapon was shoved against her knee, and with icy claws of dread, she realized there was absolutely nothing she could do about it; one hand was still twisted in his grip, the other hanging at her side - she wouldn't be able to reach the gun before he fired it with her back was pressed against the stone.

She wouldn't even have had the time to attempt at some sort of knock away before the bullet was driven into her leg. The support keeping her upright fading instantly, he let go of her wrist as she sank to the ground, fighting the overwhelming urge to scream. Her left hand found warmth contrasting the icy cold of the canyon floor, fighting the blackness that had nothing to do with the new wound that was crowding her vision and pressing cloths over her mouth and nose.

"I trust you'll be able to pass on my message." Unable to raise her head, Lightning fought the darkness eating away at her consciousness as the sounds of sharp cracks sounded in the figure's motions to walk away. But fighting back was like trying to claw apart water - there was nothing to hold onto, nothing to _grasp_. There was nothing to _stop_ her from being pulled into those icy depths.

* * *

The familiar buzzing was pulling at the edges of her consciousness. For several moments, unsure of what it was, Lightning forced her eyes to stay closed, trying to pull in only shallow, even breaths that were all too easy to let spiral out of control into some form of hyperventilation. _Just shut up... let me sleep..._

But the sound persisted, slicing through the miasma of tiredness and pain, until her mind finally worked around it to what it was. _Phone... the goddamn phone... Shit! Where is it?_ Raising a hand groggily to press against the gash on her forehead that still seemed to be bleeding, her other hand trailed down to the red pack on her left thigh.

Pushing back the urge to throw up as her stiff, clammy fingers brushed against the radiant pain that seemed to be all that was left of her knee, they finally, finally closed around the plastic that sent what felt to her like tremors through her entire body. Pulling in a short, pained breath, she drew her left hand up, flipping open the cover as she finally opened her eyes to what seemed to her to be an unnaturally bright milky dawn that was threading its fingers through the inky black sky.

"Light? Light, where are you?" His voice sounded too loud, crashing into her eardrums, and Lightning closed her eyes, fighting the thrash of nausea that rose like bile in her throat.

"H-Hope..." Her voice was a raspy croak, barely audible even to her, and she heard the hoarse, sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line.

* * *

***buries face in hands***

**I know you guys know about my penchant for cliffhangers, if this is what this is classified as, so I really, really hope you guys won't hate me until I get around to Chapter 3. *hides behind Snow's Steelguard* NR and Unwritten had sort of a slow building pace so I wanted to get right into things for RW; I just hope it won't backfire on me, haha!  
**

**I've told myself I must now work on Unwritten, having delved quite deeply into the beginning of RW already (probably more than I should have), so I shall have to cross my fingers and hope that Snow and Serah cooperate with me this weekend. *sighs* Leave love if you wish, and I'll see you guys soon! :3  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	3. Remaining and Scattered Lives

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings!_(And yes, I know I've said I was going to work on _Unwritten_; please continue into the following paragraph)  
**

**Oh my goodness... I am seriously contemplating bashing my head against a wall right now and am quite literally about to cry. I am _still_ stuck on Chapter 12 of _Unwritten_; it feels like the equivalent of trying to win against an Adamantortoise over and over when you first reach Gran Pulse in XIII. In other words, it feels hopelessly impossible at the moment; I can't get my head to clear enough to work to what I know what has to happen and _urgh_, I literally tried to rip my hair out this morning. I don't even know what it is about Chapter 12 that gets me... whether it's the symbolism I'm trying to draw with the physical events or the character development that's always underneath every single event that happens, I don't even... I'll just give it up for now. *glues hair back hesitantly*  
**

**Ranting aside, hugs to go: Berl, thewhitespirit, VengeanceUpholding, Crystal, Crowley, That One Reviewee (er... it's because she keeps pulling those 'you survive' moments on me... n_n And awh, thanks so much for your compliments, though I don't think I could write happy-go-lucky fluff if I tried... D:), Zapper90, and Mylaervain (thanks so much! :3) You guys are seriously awesome... I don't think any of this could have happened without all of you. 8D  
**

**That being said, it's time to move on, so, enjoy as always! :D**

* * *

Chapter 3: Remaining and Scattered Lives

_Gripping the plastic of the phone tightly in his hand, Hope tried to resist the temptation to storm out of the house and look for Lightning himself. The first faint specks of dawn were beginning to appear on the eastern horizon, tinting Cocoon's shell a soft, milky shade of periwinkle, faint fingers reaching through the inky blackness, but the Gran Pulse landscape outside was just as silent as the upper levels of the house.  
_

_Snow had gotten up only a few moments after the first photons of sun had broken through the silhouettes of the mountains, and Hope could hear the banging of pots and pans in the kitchen, along with the ominous sizzling of something he couldn't identify by smell alone, something that he wasn't sure if he wanted to find out.  
_

_The first few calls had given him nothing but the usual "We're sorry, the customer you are calling is unavailable at the moment. Please try your call again later.", and for a moment, he'd been scared that she'd turned her phone off. Pushing away those doubts, and ignoring Snow's repeated assurances that she was okay, he'd dialled again, hoping that this time, the call would actually make its way through whatever had been preventing it the last few attempts._

_Fully prepared to listen to the pre-recorded message again, Hope had felt a jolt of surprise when the crackling, grainy sound of the line trying to connect came out of the speaker. Fingers tightening around the plastic handle, he hardly dared to breathe as the monotone beeps of the ringtone overrode Snow's absentminded humming. "Please pick up, Light..."  
_

_Snow had caught those quiet, almost desperate words; flinging off the mint green apron, the big man sat down on one of the unoccupied seats, watching the black plastic thing with apprehensive eyes. In his observation of Snow's movements and the slight trembling that had taken over his body, aided by his hammering heartbeat, Hope had almost missed the moment the call actually connected.  
_

_"Light? Light, where are you?" He sounded as desperate and panicked as he felt, but even that was preferable to the hoarse, almost inaudible croak that came over the staticky line.  
_

_"H-Hope..."  
_

_Instantly, a million different possibilities raced through his mind, each worse than the next as an uncontrolled gasp escaped his lips.  
_

* * *

Hope's panicked voice was evident even through the heavy fog that lay cottoned around her brain as her fingers tightened instinctively around the small plastic thing. Fighting the tiredness that weighed down like gravity on her limbs, Lightning tried to concentrate on what he was saying and not on the overwhelming exhaustion that dragged at her body, threatening to pull her into its depths again.

"Light... What's wrong? What happened?" The fear in his voice sliced through the murky, incoherent thoughts as it reached some aspect of her higher mental functions.

Lightning tried to work the next few words around her tongue and dry throat, but it was difficult, like trying to swallow thistles. "Ambush... I can't..." She couldn't seem to put the situation into words.

A quiet scuffle, almost like there was a fight or scramble for the phone sounded from the speaker, and after a few moments, a new voice grated over the line, evidently distressed, but direct in its purpose. "Sis? Sis, where are you? You gotta tell us so we can get help; I swear we're coming to get you, just tell us where you are."

_Where... right..._ "The south... Those hills, you know where..." She heard another intake of breath coming from the phone, but it was a few heartbeats before she processed why Snow was reacting this way. After a few painful moments of searching in the thick fog that seemed to have clouded over her mind, she found the answer - the moment she did, she wished she hadn't, but it was too late to eat those words now - she'd said them without thinking. _Right... this was where we fought..._

The hasty, nervous sound of a loud swallow, one that could have been the clearing of a throat, jerked her back into the present, but it seemed that the more dawn light flooded the Gran Pulse landscape, the darker and more confusing her surroundings became. "Okay, we got it. Sis, you gotta stay awake, you hear me? Don't hang up on us."

"I'm trying..." she mumbled quietly, forcing the words past a fresh wave of lightheadedness and nausea.

The command came again, louder this time, more forceful. _"Stay _on the phone, Sis, I don't know, slap yourself or something, just keep talking to me, we're coming, I swear." She heard another scuffle come over the line, a couple of words she couldn't catch, and finally, the unmistakable slam of a door coupled with the sound of rapid footsteps. "You still with me, Sis?"

"Yeah..." _I'm... so tired. Just..._

"'Kay, we're coming, you got it? I'm gonna change the line over to my cell, just don't hang up, please, for the Maker's sake don't hang up." Those words were accompanied by the beeps that came over the speakers, ones that continued for a surprisingly short time before Snow's harried voice reached her eardrums again. "Aight, Sis, just hang on, fifteen minutes and we should be there, tops."

Trying to pull in even breaths was suddenly overwhelmingly difficult as Lightning fought to stay conscious; closing her eyes didn't help any - the dizzying sensations didn't stop even though she was no longer staring into the overly bright morning sunshine. "I can't... I..." The last words came as a hoarse whisper, ones that pulled at her raw throat.

"Lightning! _Lightning!_" To hear Snow say, or rather, yell, her full name into the cellphone on his end did nothing to chase away the dark shadows gathering at the edges of her mind. It had taken her a few heartbeats to register that he never called her that anymore, but it didn't change the fact that her fingers were loosening on the plastic thing in her hand.

Several more shouts, ones that she could no longer discern, came fast and furious over the phone, but Lightning realized she no longer had the strength to fight to reply. _Just..._

_Hope..._

* * *

"So, all in all, not one of Sis's better missions, eh?"

Sitting in the darkened living room, cast with the scarlet rays of sunset, Hope tried to concentrate his thoughts on Snow's words and not on the sleeping form of Lightning lying on her side in front of the fireplace, a wooly blanket tucked around her slender shoulders. Snow heaved a dramatic sigh before getting up and laying a large hand on his shoulder. "At least she's going to be okay. No lasting damage done, right?"

Hope looked up tiredly before breathing out a sigh of his own. "No... no lasting harm done," he ascertained quietly, glad that _that_, at least, was true. The grip on his shoulder didn't relax, though.

"C'mon, go do something else. Staring at her isn't going to make things go away. She'll wake up in her own time; I know you wanna ask her what happened, but so's the military when they come tramping up this doorstep in a few days time." Letting the blond brawler pull him up, Hope made his way almost automatically to the stairs, steered and aided by the none-too-gentle push that Snow gave him, but not before he caught the undertone mutter as the older man turned away. "We just have the best freaking luck in the world, don't we?"

_That's... an understatement._ It seemed that there was never an end to what plagued them and chased after them, almost as if the moment of branding back in Cocoon so long ago had cast a curse over them all that they could never fully shake off, like shadows that didn't go away even in the brightest of lights. _Why do these things always happen to us? Why can't everyone just leave us alone?_ Hope thought bitterly as he climbed the stairs into the orange blaze that illuminated the upper level of the house. _Why __can't we live 'normal' lives like everyone else? It seems that whenever things swing back a little to the 'normal' side of things, something comes along that tips right back._

_Why do these things always happen to us? It's not fair... it's never _been_ fair. _

And at those thoughts, Hope couldn't fight back against the icy cold claws of dread that curled around his stomach. _What if... things that happened last time happen all over again? Last time... Serah, Light... No! We can't go through that again... we can't. _He knew better than anyone that if one more thing shook at Lightning's delicate emotional balance that was slowly beginning to steady again, then there was absolutely no going back.

Leaning against the cold frame of the window in his room that overlooked the fiery red sunset that illuminated the verdant Gran Pulse landscape, turning even the greenest of the flora into an unnatural shade of garish orange, Hope found that his hands were pressed so firmly against the smooth glass that his fingertips were beginning to turn white.

He'd felt utter panic and desolation consume every aspect of his being when it had become painfully obvious Lightning was out there somewhere, stranded and injured. The phone had almost dropped from his hand when he stared at it, unable to come up with a coherent reply, before Snow had snatched it from his faltering fingers and taken control - and at the time, he could only sit there, staring at Snow speaking rapidly into the plastic device, but in reality seeing nothing, unable to get up and unable to move.

It was only when Snow had yelled her name into the phone that had snapped him out of it; tossing the house phone to him, the blond brawler had instructed him to call emergency services, the military, _anyone _before striding out of the house, slamming the door behind him. And it was only when his fumbling fingers had finished dialling the numbers before it hit him where Snow was going.

By the time he'd made it outside, the blond fighter was already halfway across the lawn, intent on reaching the strand of trees to the right. Stumbling after him, Hope found that he was still too dazed and in shock to do anything but follow him silently; trying to swallow past the fact that he knew the line was now dead, unable to think of anything but the worst.

Sighing, he leaned his forehead against the cool glass, trying to use the difference in temperature to soothe the pounding headache and the accelerated heartbeat that was pulsing all too quickly through his bloodstream. _She's going to be okay... The doctor said she's going to be okay... I have to _believe_ that she's going to be okay. _

While he had been told by various military specialists and doctors alike that there was no lasting damage done, he'd bitten his lip and said nothing, exchanging an anxious glance with Snow. _I think we know, all too well, that not all injuries are physical. I think we know... all too well, that this might have done something to her mentally that we can't reverse. _

"Maker..." The soft curse dropped from his lips as he slammed his right hand into the glass, as if the motion could dispel reality. _I knew there was something wrong... Maker, I _asked_ her to stay safe! She promised..._ That thought, he knew, was both childish and selfish; she hadn't known what she was going against, but he couldn't help it. _Is it really so much to ask? _he thought miserably. _I just want her to be okay._

Hands gripping his silver hair, it was a long time before his breathing calmed as Hope tried to empty his thoughts. Darkness has stretched its unforgiving fingers across the floor of his room before he thought he was ready to go downstairs again. It was as silent as ever as he looked down the two flights of stairs that led to the entrance, with only a single flickering band of light that illuminated the bottom-most step that he could half see.

Sudden movement distracted him as the stairs creaked a little; straining to see in the darkness, he could make out the dominant silhouette of Snow. "Hey kid." His voice was unusually quiet. "I'm moving her - it's getting cold downstairs and I figured she'd probably be calmer if she woke up closer to you than me."

Unsure of what to make of the offhand compliment, for a few moments all Hope could do was stammer a thanks as he followed the blond brawler into her room, watching as he gently deposited Lightning on top of the covers. Cracking a weak grin, Snow flashed him a thumbs up as he closed the door with a snap behind him. "Good luck."

It was only when he'd heard the telltale thumps fade away and the subsequent low mutter of noises from the television downstairs flare up did he feel safe -or comfortable- enough to perch himself at the edge of her bed, watching her breathe in the pale moonlight that poked its way past the undrawn curtains on the other side of the room. His hand found the slender, limp fingers of her left hand almost automatically, but he resisted the temptation to tighten his hold on her; embarrassingly, he noticed that it was only when she was asleep did she regain the innocence and delicate serenity that her sister had always possessed. Unburdened and untroubled in the realms of sleep, it was only then that she looked like the young woman she could have been if none of this had happened.

The moment that thought crossed his mind, Hope felt like slapping himself in the face. _What am I thinking... As painful as it is... it's impossible. She's been fighting since before I knew what fighting, really fighting, was. _

Picking absent-mindedly at the covers, carefully not pulling at the wool that was still loosely wrapped around her frame, he glanced back sharply when a different pressure closed lightly around his hand.

"Hope?" The voice was quiet, almost _shy,_ as he swiveled himself around to face her - aquamarine eyes burdened by the slightest hint of pain were looking back at him.

"Hey..." he greeted weakly. "You're okay... right?" He tried to sound more confident than he felt right now, but his voice caught on the last word anyways as he tried not to look at the sutures set into the skin just above her right eyebrow, marring the pale skin there. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be glad he couldn't see the knee brace slipped firmly over her left knee - the doctor had assured him, after moving the cell-regeneration equipment off the worst of it, that if she stayed off it for the following week or two, that it would, or should, not be a lasting problem.

There was a long moment of silence that was punctuated only by the slow shifting of the moonlight from behind the curtains. "I've had better," she finally murmured. "But... I'll live."

The bubble of relief rising in his chest was indescribable in many ways - relief that she was alright, that she _felt_ alright, and that whatever had happened, it hadn't affected her still-fragile mental condition. Suddenly, Hope found that he was infinitely more confident after embracing that fact, as he let out a watery chuckle. "You're really alright?"

She had caught his still hesitant look, pressing her lips into a thin line. "I guess the painkillers haven't really worn off; I don't feel much of anything I shouldn't. But... I wouldn't really lie to you about something like that..."

Running a hand through his silver hair, he let out a sigh. "I suppose not," he mumbled, even though he could think of a couple of situations where she'd done exactly that. _But it's probably better if I don't bring that up now._ Trying to push some lighter thoughts into his mind, he glanced back at her again. "You know... I thought I was going to throw up when they started putting the stitches in." That came at the cost of his dignity, but it would be a worthy sacrifice if she took the cue to move onto something different.

"I forgot..." she murmured, a small smile pulling at the lips that were still tightly pressed together. "You're bad with them... aren't you?"

"Well, sorry," he mock apologized, glad that things hadn't progressed where he was scared they would do. "But not all of us have your stomach, you know."

The moment he mentioned it, he saw a flash of pained panic cross her expression - instantly regretting his last sentence, Hope opened his mouth to apologize. "Light, I-" A claw of anxiety ripped at him; suddenly afraid of saying the wrong thing, he tried again, hoping that whatever he said, it wouldn't make things worse. "Is it... If you don't want to talk about it..." he mumbled lamely, afraid to even look at her to gauge her reaction.

Again, it was awhile before she replied, her words slow and uncertain, overlaid with an emotion he couldn't quite place. "I think... I think I need to." There was a long silence after those words - waiting, Hope knew better than to press her for whatever it was - she would say it when she was ready. "I shouldn't have survived," she admitted quietly. "But... but he, whoever he was, said that... He said that I was a message for Management. He said that... '_your kind aren't welcome here.'_"

Staring at her, he tried to grasp the meaning of the deceptively simple statement. "I don't understand." His own voice sounded demure and frightened as Lightning gave him a look.

"I don't... either," she finally replied. "But he... he wasn't, well, human, I don't think."

The gasp had escaped his lips before he could stop himself. "_What? _How-?" he spluttered as his free hand unceremoniously tightened into a fist, distorting the smoothness of the cloth covers.

"I don't know... it was dark, I could've been wrong," she rectified. Moving her hand up to her forehead, she continued, voice low and hoarse. "I already got this before I saw him clearly... but I know what I _thought_ I saw... and he definitely moved too fast to be, well, human."

His grip on her other hand had tightened as well, without him noticing . "Are you sure?"

Lightning gave her head a small shake. "I don't know... I don't know... I _want_ to say that I don't think I saw wrong... but if he _wasn't_ human, then I don't think I'd believe me if I was telling this story. Because," she continued quietly, "I... _We've_ never seen a monster that was sentient like that... and I've seen enough monsters to last a lifetime."

At this, she made a motion to get up, only to be stopped halfway with a soft groan. Instantly, pressing a hand on her shoulder, he tried to push her back down. "Don't... you're still hurt." He hadn't expected her to fight back against his grip; closing her eyes, she pulled herself into a half sitting position, to finally stop moving after he increased the force in his palm. It was a few heartbeats before she opened her eyes, dully noting his gaze that was both frustrated and concerned.

"It's not that... Just lightheaded," she countered weakly.

"Still," he argued, determined to win this argument. "Stop trying to do everything yourself... okay? I'm kind of here for a reason." Her grip on their joined fingers tensed a little, before she extracted her fingers from their tightened grasp and slid her hand slowly back on the covers.

"...I know," she finally admitted quietly, carefully looking in the direction of the door. "It's just... I..." He caught her shoulders before she could fully turn around, pulling her firmly to face him. _No... not this again. _Swallowing back the sudden, unexpected hurt it caused, Hope tried not to let it show on his face.

"I promised someone... a long time ago, that I'd look after her too. I haven't gone back on that vow... you know." He saw the flash of pain burden Lightning's ice blue gaze before her expression softened a little, relaxing against the grip he had no intention of letting go of. Unexpectedly, her forehead came to rest on his shoulder as she leaned forward a little.

"I know that too..." she breathed out quietly. He'd barely grazed the top of her head with his lips before the door banged open, bouncing off the opposite wall. Quickly jerking his head up, Hope found himself staring at the highly amused ocean blue expression of Snow. Lightning had turned her head more slowly, fixing the blond with a look he couldn't see. Hope was painfully aware of what it had to look like to Snow - it wasn't that he exactly minded how they were positioned in itself, but Snow could make anything innocent look -or sound- like it wasn't, and _this_ wasn't 'innocent' to begin with. _Great... Maker, he had to come in at that moment, didn't he?_

But if Snow intended to proceed to badger them about it, he skipped over that. "Enough secret sharing," he chided, his tone unusually stern. "Why wasn't I invited to this?"

Before Hope could come up with a competent comeback, Lightning had already opened her mouth. "It's not like... you weren't listening outside the door." Snow shot them a triumphant, not-guilty-at-all look as Hope quickly let go of her, feeling her slowly relax back against the backboard of the bed.

"Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't," he crowed. "Just one thing, Sis." He pulled out the black gloves from the front pocket of his coat, waving the black material back and forth. "I've got my hero gloves in case you need em - and _that_'_s_ something that ain't changing."

He heard Lightning breathe out a soft snort. "I got it... Snow. Now leave... before you make my headache worse by being too loud," she murmured quietly, closing her eyes, slowly drawing the woolen blanket up to her neck. Snow let out a confident laugh as he sauntered out the door, giving him a devilish thumbs up.

His fingers found hers one last time before he got up to follow the fighter. "G'night... Light. Feel better, okay?"

He thought he heard a hum of assent before he closed the door quietly, following Snow down the hall back to his room.

* * *

**Okay, so a bit anti-climatic, but well, I like how it came out. n_n You guys may also know that I have a penchant for character development, and I _know_ some of you are probably hating Snow right now for "ruining the moment", lol. But personally, I thought the 'hero gloves' bit was cute, so I decided to throw that in. Besides, Snow just _loves_ to tease Hope about his relationship with Light (*cackles*), though he'd never do it the other way around.**

**On a side note, I think I've watched too much sci-fi anime in younger days, but I do think that the futuristic setting of XIII (I mean, come on, matter manipulation?) merits cell regeneration technology, okay? xD I don't even know how it works... and quite frankly, don't really _want_to know how it works -I'm sure it's highly complicated- but I've seen enough anime to include it in here. n_n  
**

**And with that being said, once again, I am going to give Chapter 12 of _Unwritten_ another go tomorrow, making it my official goal for the weekend - to make Chapter 12 sound nice and pretty without bungling it. *sighs*  
**

**Leave love if you're so inclined, and I'll see you guys soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	4. Crossroads

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of RW! :3  
**

**Thanks and love go to: H-thar (and thank you for the spellcheck - goes to show I shouldn't be writing at 10:30pm n_n), That One Reviewee (well, recently I have been rewatching Code Geass, but I also do like the Gundam series and Ghost in the Shell), thewhitespirit, VengeanceUpholding, Lieutenant General Sora Hikaru, Lightarcana, Berl, Mylaervain, Crowley, and Saccharo (awh, thank you very much! :3)!  
**

**And on that note, this chapter is undoubtedly, once again, dedicated to my lovely, amazing LadyAlaska. (I love you, hun)**

**I'd rather not spoil what happens next, so I'll just leave it as: enjoy as always! 8D**

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Chapter 4: Crossroads

Dawn stretched its light, carefree fingers over the sullen, pinpricked blackness of night as Lightning awoke to the sound of birdsong that drifted in through the slightly ajar window. Stifling an irritated groan, she attempted to get up in the half darkness, only to be stopped by a slam of dizziness that forced its way down her throat. _Right..._ Fingers of her left hand scraping softly at the even line of stitches just over her right eyebrow, she waited in her half propped up position, for the moment to pass, swallowing thickly against the incoming wave of nausea.

When it finally abated, she pulled herself into a sitting position, noting with a certain amount of scorn at the controlled stiffness in her left knee. _The pain wouldn't be so hard to live with if I could just move properly..._ Hands gripping the thin, sky blue coloured cloth of the covers, she raked her hands through her messy pink hair, roughly pulling out the tangles at their wavy ends, hating the way sore muscles pulled at her back.

The sound of shuffling outside distracted her and she froze for a moment; she could already begin to imagine Hope's disgruntled tone in the confines of her mind if and when he found her like this. But instead of feeling irritated -or angry- at the thought, which was something she really ought to have been feeling, all she could find, Lightning realized, was something akin to embarrassed guilt.

The way she'd so easily and readily accepted his grasp of her fingers last night unnerved her - while there was no way to deny that she _wanted_ it, the cognitive part of her mind had screamed at her for being an idiot: whatever she'd done, it would only serve to reinforce in _his_ mind that he'd done the right thing, which he inevitably had, only... _Only... I didn't want him to see me like that. He didn't _have_ to see me like that if I didn't __pass out over the phone._

Fingers unconsciously curling into fists, so that her nails dug into her palms painfully, she tried to suppress the rising surge of uncertainty of the old urge to continue to protect him, and how that older mentality left her feeling like she'd failed, in some way. _He's not a child anymore. _That was what some part of her mind, the traitorous, selfish part of her, wanted to tell her. And while it was true, in some ways, in others, it was so painfully inadequate that she didn't know how she was ever going to see past it. _And I have a feeling... if I continue treating him like a kid, he's going to hate me sooner or later._ But the protective, maternal feelings were impossible to shake off - _There's no way that I'll ever _stop_ seeing him as the scared teenager that followed me in the Vile Peaks because he wanted revenge on S__now. There's always a part of me that'll never disassociate that moment from him, no matter what his age, no matter _how_ much taller than me he gets. _

And apart from that old desire to safeguard him, to shield him, there was something else, something else that she didn't quite want to admit. But there was no denying that at a certain point, the protective feelings morphed into something that resembled some sort of tenebrous desire, of which she had no experience with at all to even begin processing and accepting. _Just what..._ There was a part of her that felt guilty for feeling this way, when it was still painfully branded into her consciousness that Serah was no longer here, but once again, the selfish part of her spoke all too loudly: _This is _my_ life I'm living_... _and Serah'd have wanted me to feel happy, even when she's gone, right?_ Lightning didn't know anymore. It was like the two parts of her that still existed after her sister's death were at a constant war with each other; one part of her was tired of being in pain, and wanted to fully embrace the future she'd fought for, and the other part of her was scared of forgetting and of what was to come - _What if it doesn't work out? What if it was wrong to begin with?_ That part of her was more in tune with her old uncertainties and doubts and it arose, almost alarm-clock like, when she was alone.

The funny thing was, when she was with Hope, the part that spoke to the lessening of her self-inhibitions was undoubtedly the dominant part. That in itself was both warm and embarrassing; wandering down a path Serah had always said she would, Lightning had no idea how to even start to begin that walk - it was something Serah had embraced so easily, so wonderfully effortlessly, and here she was, trying to struggle along down its contours without messing up. _And... I'm quite sure, I _will_ mess up, somewhere down the road. _

A demure knock at her door pushed all other self berating thoughts out of her mind as she forcibly made her fingers relax on the balled up fabric of the covers. "Light? You're up... right?" Somehow, she'd known who it was before Hope had even said a word. _I don't know... if that's good or bad._ Shaking her head slightly, glad that the lightheaded flutterings and cotton balls that clung to the corners of her mind had disappeared in the minutes since she'd gotten up, Lightning took a breath, glad when it didn't awaken something in her chest that it shouldn't.

"Yeah... I'm up." The door to her room opened soundlessly, as Hope timidly made his way over to her bed, eyes narrowing in something like suspicion when he saw that she was sitting up. "Don't look at me like that..." she mumbled, trying to keep the irritation out of her tone. _I don't need to snap at him... first thing in the morning._

"I'm pretty sure someone told you to take it easy for the next few days," he warned, sitting down on the edge of the bedspread.

"I _am_ taking it easy," she countered, trying to glare at him, and feeling frustrated at herself when she couldn't. Noticing her effort, Hope chuckled.

His hand gently brushed back a slightly tangled layer of pink hair; it caught her off guard, but Lightning realized she no longer felt offended, nor surprised. It came as something bittersweet when she realized, shamefully, that she'd come to _expect_ the small gestures of affection. "Whatever you say," he murmured. "Just don't overdo it, alright?"

She let out a sigh. "I wish... you'd stop worrying so much." It didn't come as a surprise, either, when the statement upset him.

"You know exactly why I worry so much, Light. I told you before... didn't I? I need you too." Hope's voice had dropped to a whisper as he fixed her with an intense sea green gaze, his left hand trapping both of hers under its controlled, light pressure.

She tried again, unsuccessfully, to muster a glare, but in reality, his gaze eroded the angry and indignant feelings like fire melting ice. "I know that... I know that!"

Catching the pained shock in his green gaze, Lightning bit her lip. _I just told myself... not to snap._ And it no longer came as a surprise that she felt guilty for it either; breathing in a quiet sigh, she cast her gaze downwards. "Sorry..." When he didn't reply, she looked back up, trying to find the right words to say, and feeling annoyed at herself when she realized she couldn't. "I'm sorry," she tried again; Lightning didn't think she was trying to make her tone soft. "For worrying you... and for snapping."

She caught the slight amusement in the familiar emerald gaze. "I know you are. Just don't do it again... okay?"

"Hope, I-"

But he didn't let her finish her sentence because he took advantage of that momentary weakness to close the gap between them. She wanted to flinch back the moment she felt his lips on hers_, _but something else, something that was part of the part of _her_ that wanted her to accept her future for what it was, told her not to. And it was funny, because in that moment, in the _face_ of what was happening, the inhibitions she'd placed on herself seemed to drop like chains thrown off by beating wings.

In that moment, some other realization worked its way into her brain - Lightning had always thought she'd known what desire -and the word had only ever meant 'the determination to do something'- was. There had always been some sort of desire for her to keep going, to keep _living_. When her parents had died, it was the desire to protect that kept her going. When she'd become a l'Cie, it was the desire to see Serah again that had kept her fighting. And in the face of Serah's death and her own ensuing depression, it was the desire to see the future her sister had fought for that kept her going. But this... this was a completely _different_ sort of desire, one that wasn't satisfied by the action it instinctively commanded.

It should have troubled her when the irrepressible urge to respond took over, but it didn't - in the face of the moment, it felt like a muted, insignificant part of who she was.

Feeling the warm flush creep up her cheeks when she finally pulled back at the sound of footsteps on the stairs, the one sound that signalled that their brief time out from reality was over, Lightning found in his green eyes the same tone of affection and embarrassment that had to be reflected in some degree in her own gaze. Searching inside, she tried to figure out how exactly she felt about the kiss, once again, not feeling surprised that there was no shadow of outright guilt in her current emotional state. Instead, she felt a strange sense of elation and a delicate sense of peace. _Maker... I must really be going soft._

She refused to consider the alternative - it was embarrassing and not something she wanted to say aloud to anyone just yet. _Or maybe he's just changed who I am... so much to the point where even this -physical closeness-, something I never imagined myself twined in to, doesn't bother me as much as it should._ She wanted to snort at the thought. _Emotional closeness is something I've kind of grudgingly accepted over the last few years, but this..._

Relationships had never been something she'd bothered wasting her time on, ever since her parents had died, ever since Serah... And so, she'd felt both surprise and unwanted doubt grip her in those last few days of their fight, when she'd realized the inevitable path her relationship with Hope was taking. And back then, she'd had an excuse, and a plausible one at that - he was still a kid. But now, she had no real reason to refuse it, and as much as she could embarrassingly admit to herself she _wanted _it, there was still the chance that things could go wrong. And in that situation, should it arise in some way or form, Lightning didn't think she could deal with the subsequent loss of the only other person she trusted herself with.

But she could now hear Snow's distinctive thumps out in the hallway and she gathered herself accordingly; similar thoughts seem to have struck Hope, because he let go of her pinned hands rather quickly, only a few seconds before Snow poked his head through the slightly ajar door. "Yo."

If the blond noticed something off -or wrong- about the way they were sitting, he didn't show it. "Breakfast is done... if you're hungry." When there was an uncomfortable silence that followed this announcement, he raised an eyebrow at the lack of a response. "I'll eat it myself if you don't want it."

Lightning felt the pressure leave the side of the bed as Hope got up. "We're coming," he appeased quietly.

"Good. Sis, I'll carry you downstairs if you want." Grinning broadly at her disdainful expression, he laughed loudly as he cracked his knuckles before making his way over to the bed. "C'mon," he smirked. "It's not all that often that you get treated like the princess you are to Hope."

Feeling the same blush creep up her throat and cheeks again, despite the emotional disbalance of her earlier uncertainty, Lightning resisted the temptation to give him a kick with her good leg. "Snow... shut up."

* * *

Watching the noon sunlight flood the bright living room, Hope tried to hide his expression from Snow, who was wandering around, supposedly cleaning the house, brandishing a feather duster and a rag, pointedly ignoring Lightning's dire threat that if he broke or damaged anything, he'd buy it with his blood.

What had happened that morning still unnerved him a little bit, despite the fact that he'd been the one to initiate it. _I-I didn't expect her..._ If he was honest with himself, he hadn't expected her to respond so easily - he knew better than anyone Lightning was never one for hugs and kisses -or physical contact in general- and even though in some aspects, she had lightened her original viewpoint since he'd come back to live with her, she'd never advocated it aloud. She permitted -and even returned- most impliments of physical affection on a fairly regular basis, when other things weren't weighing her down, but he honestly hadn't been expecting a response like _that_. He wasn't resenting it in any way, though - it was a happy thought that maybe, maybe, she was finally dismantling the fierce barriers she'd always kept around her innermost emotions.

A sharp rap at the door jolted him out of that happy daydream, as Lightning swiveled her head from where she was sitting on the couch -she'd been filling out a report earlier this morning- , to the door, her expression instantly hardening.

"I'll get it," he assured her, getting up from the armrest from where he was perched and wearily making his way to the door. It wasn't really a surprise when he opened it to find a fully uniformed soldier and a man dressed in white, waiting silently. Hope heard the telltale thumps of Snow coming down the stairs as he waited.

"Is this the residence of Lieutenant-Colonel Farron?" one of them inquired, raising an eyebrow when he made no move to welcome them in.

"Yes, but-"

The officer cut him off. "We've got some issues to discuss with her." Narrowing his eyes, Hope was about to tell them that she was in no condition to discuss official matters when them when Lightning broke in angrily.

"Who ordered you here?" She sounded as curt as usual, despite the fact that Hope knew she was still injured.

Noticing with some satisfaction at the uncomfortable way the man squirmed at being addressed like this, he stepped back a little to let her have full view of the two officers standing at the doorway. "E-Eden, ma'am. We're supposed to share some info with you. N-Not to intrude or anything, I mean..."

"Fine." Hope heard the distinctive hint of something of a snarl awaken in her voice - he guessed that she was annoyed as he felt. He saw the soldier flinch when he noticed her, devoid of her usual uniform, ice blue gaze narrowed.

Edging aside to stand with Snow, who was lingering at the foot of the steps, Hope watched as the two positioned themselves awkwardly at the edge of the living room, closer to the door. The professor, he noticed, had more of an air about him. "These are official matters," the older man sneered. "Not for civilians, you know..." Snow had tensed, and he could hear a low growl coming from the blond brawler's throat.

Before Snow could say something, though, Lightning had opened her mouth. "Last time I checked," she enunciated slowly, "I outrank you. So I give the orders around here - they're staying." Hope very clearly saw the man gulp, before giving up, exchanging an awkward look with the soldier, who hastily pulled out a laptop, before clearing his throat.

"A-anyways, the general over at Eden told us to update you on the situation, Lieutenant-Colonel. They're aware you were injured while engaging the enemy and you're to be given sick leave until the hospital deems you fit for duty again." At this, Hope caught the slight eye-roll she gave at those words, and had to suppress a rueful smile of half amusement and half frustration. _When Light's in control of herself... there're things about her that never change._ "They also wanted to let you know that something similar to what you reported has been engaged in New Palumpolum and has been apprehended. So we're here to bring you what we know so far."

The screen of the laptop flickered to life, and Hope felt knots of apprehension twist at this stomach when he realized, that from his angle of view, he couldn't see what was on it.

But if the dire looks that the two from the military had been wearing since they'd let them in had said anything, and if he hadn't been mistaken about the flare of panic and determination that had shadowed Lightning's eyes as she scanned the screen, then it couldn't be anything good.

_Maker..._

* * *

***cackles insanely***

**Alright, so this chapter _was_ intended to be a little longer, and well, there _was_ supposed to be more to it, but I have a headache right now and I'd rather not keep thinking. n_n So I decided to cut it off here, introducing you guys to another cliffhanger, which I'm not sure if I'm supposed to feel bad about or not, heehee.  
**

**But I am triumphant! This time, Snow didn't come in to ruin the moment. *cackles* Which, that being said, I do hope I pulled that moment off. *bites nails* I'll just have to head off to bed now hoping that I did.**

**Leave love as always, and I'll see y'all soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	5. Seen and Unseen

**So hey all, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings!_ :D**

**Thanks go to: H-thar (yes... he was bound to), That One Reviewee (well, I'm trying for my own take on an older Hope, seeing as we didn't get to see much of him in XIII-2 *grumbles*, and well, yeah, that's kind of how I see an older Hope... n_n), Mylaervain, homerninja88, GunMetalX, Lightarcana, and Crowley! You guys are amazing, and your support makes a girl smile. (:**

Moving on... it's really late at night, and I did go through this like several times, but I'm old and you are your own worst editor, so please, please point something out if I made a typo/grammar/spelling error. I mean, I'll go through this again tomorrow but I honestly can find no error in it as of now, so I'm just going to post this.

With all that said, the chapter ahead is full of character development and emotional themes (plus the beginning segment, which really ought to have been at the end of the last chapter, but I was tired and in pain) so I'll leave it at: enjoy as always! 

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Chapter 5: Seen and Unseen

Lightning slid a slender hand up the skin on her cheeks, burying her face in between the fingers of her right hand, trying to use the pressure to alleviate the headache and lightheadedness that had begun again sometime that morning. _Probably shouldn't have filled out that report so fast_... But there had been no denying she'd wanted something to _do;_ something, anything, that would take her mind off what had transpired in her room.

It wasn't that it it had been something she was afraid of, or something she regretted - she found that she still felt no outright guilt over what had happened, even though she'd had the time to think it through, really think it through. He'd caught her off guard, and by the time she'd recovered enough to realize what was happening, it was too late to move away - the black brace fitted over her knee prevented all such movements in the inadequately short time that had been all she'd gotten in warning. _But did I want to back off?_ _That_ was what frightened her - that she hadn't had the strength, nor the will, to push him away in that moment. And, once again, she'd had to ask herself - _Did I want to?_

The weakness and embarrassed guilt of that one moment had morphed into something she hadn't foreseen - a warmth that had slowly spread through her entire frame, leaving her helpless and entwined in something she no longer had any control over. It hadn't burned, nor had it hurt, and it was only now that Lightning knew what it had carried with it: a strange longing that she had no idea how to even begin to process. It was a new sensation, something she hadn't known existed before, something she hadn't known she could _feel_ before. It was different than the desolate, empty wishing that had been all she could feel after Serah's death: _I knew... if by some, twisted, illogical way, I could be with Serah again, then it would go away._ But _this... _it was a hunger that was inversely fueled by its action - the first gentle, searching contact had sent those fingers of warmth gripping her entire body and had elicited the response that it had as the doubtful thoughts in her mind irrevocably succumbed to the raging storm of impassioned heat that had spread rapidly throughout her limbs.

And it had undoubtedly left her feeling starved... almost _abandoned_ when the coherent part of her mind had overruled those feelings, telling her to stop before their reality was broken by the imminent arrival of Snow. _I... _The ensuing thoughts were confusing, painful, and twisted with embarrassment and doubts that she couldn't even begin to voice, but in the end, one thought ruled out all else, and it pulled at her deepest inhibitions to even begin formulating it in her mind: _I've never _wanted_ anything else like that._

It was a different sort of hunger, one that she didn't quite know what to do with. But after eating about half of what Snow had proudly called a 'meal', the last vestiges of warmth had faded enough to be pushed back by the onrising icy tidal wave of the rational part of her mind. _I... I can't. I just... I know it's there and I know it's something that has enough substance to be a part of me I have to acknowledge... But. _And that one word had spiralled and branched into so many things she'd had to shut her eyes against it and force herself to stop thinking.

So it had been almost a sort of relief, when the sharp rap at the door had come, because although she had a good inkling of who it was, it would be an outlet for her new frustrations and self-hate. She'd been glad for the panacea that the visit would provide for her mental problems that only seemed to grow bigger by each passing date.

Aggravated and fighting the temptation to rub her eyes, Lightning had not been amused at the nervous babble of the soldier and the coldly standoffish temperament of the scientist. _Just say what you have to say and leave me alone!_ Forcing herself to concentrate on the screen of the laptop they'd brought with them, it only took a few lines for the small text in front of her to utterly push out everything else she was conscious of.

The officer cleared his throat anxiously. "We got some images of what we apprehended in New Palumpolum. And see-"

She cut him off as she gave the hazy images in front of her a critical glance. "Why does it look like someone's half covered in melted steel?"

"Ah, you're an observant one, aren't you?" The scientist ambled his way over, and out of the corner of her eye Lightning saw both Hope and Snow edge closer. "You see, what you're looking at is the remnants of one of the soldiers who engaged it."

"So, what you're saying is, you didn't _actually_ capture who did it." She narrowed her eyes. _What a giant waste of time... Why couldn't this be done after I go back to work?_

The scientist waggled his finger in her face ostentatiously. "Ha! Right again. You see, the army there was aiming a bazooka at the target. When the shot landed, by all reports it seemed to have exploded, leaving many of the soldiers in the same condition as the one you see in front of you. And by one account, some part of its miraculously still intact body managed to get away."

She stared. _What?_

For a long time, Lightning sat there, hands twisted together in her lap, trying to maul through and process what the scientist had just said. "But we're not done, Lieutenant-Colonel," he continued. Gliding his fingers over the keyboard, he zoomed in on the images, jabbing a long white digit to the screen. "What do you see?"

What she did see was a uniformed soldier whose entire left side looked like it had metal crystals growing on it, not that she was going to say so. The sight made her feel sick - it definitely wasn't helping her lightheadedness and the continued flickers of the screen wasn't making it better. The fingernail traced the bumpy, crystal patterns that decorated the soldier's left arm. "I think you do see. What's funny is... those crystals are alive... at least, we think so."

Snow cleared his throat loudly. "So, living metal's attacking us?"

Standing up again, the scientist swept back his long tawny ponytail, proceeding to pace as he talked. "Not quite. It was definitely part of the attack, that's for certain, but from _your_ report, Lieutenant-Colonel, it doesn't seem to be the same thing that attacked _you_." For a moment, those last words had pulled at her stomach. _Does he think I was wrong, then?_ But the man swept on, clearly unfazed. "But that doesn't mean they're not connected, because," he paused for a dramatic effect. "That thing, before we fired a bazooka at it, said the same words you reported."

Shaking her head slightly, Lightning pulled a hand through layers of messy pink hair, trying hard not to let that same hand linger and dig her fingernails into her scalp. _Great... just great. I finally think I get my life straightened out again... and now this. I-I don't know if... _It was a long time before she could finally think of something to say, her acute sense of feeling like she'd failed someone increasing when she realized that they were all waiting for her to say something. "So... now what?" She hated the way her voice came out as a hoarse croak, and she caught the sudden nervous flash in Hope's emerald eyes. _Don't... please don't._

"Well, we'd just like you to be informed, that's all, ma'am," the officer stated calmly. "After all, the soldiers in this town were the first to engage them, and we'd like for you to be in the loop." Packing up the laptop, he stood up as well, making for the door. "Don't worry, ma'am, we'll see ourselves out."

The scientist waved his hand jauntily, making a casual sign of farewell with three fingers. "And we'll let you know somehow how the scientific aspect of it is coming along. Expect some reports when you get back to work." And with that, they shut the wooden door behind them with a snap, leaving a thick silence behind.

Feeling unnecessarily exhausted and strangely drained mentally, Lightning didn't notice Hope had made his way over in front of her, his hands resting on the fabric of the couch at both sides of her waist. "Light? Are you... okay?"

Unable to reply, she could only clutch the woolen blanket she'd kept with her the long time closer to her slender form, trying to prevent herself from shaking or otherwise betraying the rising panic and emotions. Trying to keep her breathing even and controlled was something that was suddenly hard, too, as rougher, larger palms rested against the back of hers in a gesture she knew was meant in support.

But even that, right now, couldn't _stop_ the brutal onslaught Lightning knew she wouldn't be able to contain for long.

Hands gripped at her wrists, desperate now. "Light, please..." She didn't think she was missing the barely suppressed concern and panic in Hope's voice. "Don't..." The volume of his tone had dropped to a whisper - she didn't think she was missing the plea in it either.

A different hand clapped down on her shoulder, but she didn't raise her gaze, feeling insignificant against the obvious control they all, still, had come to expect from her. _I..._ Lightning didn't know why, exactly, she was reacting this way. Yes, it involved fighting, but it had to - that was part of her job... and hadn't she always told herself that having something to do was better than wallowing in her own despair? But somehow, this tugged at her in ways she hadn't felt since she was a rookie just out of the academy; she didn't want to admit that what tugged at her was acute _fear_.

_Just what... what do I have to be scared about?_

Somehow, she knew she'd always find the answer the moment she thought about it. _It's about Hope... isn't it? It's always been about Hope. I know that if I go and fight this time... he'll want to come with me, to 'protect' _me._ And... just like last t__ime... No!_ The thought slammed into her like a physical blow. _He can't... But this time... I can't_... _there's nothing for me to _stop_ him with. _

"Sis. You're doing it again." Snow's voice was a gruff statement. The blond brawler bent down until he was more or less at her eye level, ocean blue eyes unusually serious. "Stop worrying. We're all adults here," he smirked, with a sly glance at Hope. "And I know I can't speak for a certain someone, but you don't have to fight this alone, aight? You knew before those uniforms even came in that I'd help... right?" When she didn't reply, he straightened a little, scratching his head. "No? Well..."

Suddenly, Snow slammed a fist into his other hand. "Beyond the point. The point is, Sis... I get it. Last time we fought like this... Serah..." At that, he trailed off, a note of pain entering his voice. But even though her sister's name had barely lasted two syllables, it was enough.

"Stop... just stop it!" She wanted to move her hands over her ears and run; a pained jerk through her left leg and the downward pressure on her hands told her she'd try to do exactly that. "I..."

"No!" The refusal, and the anger and frustration it held, froze her to the spot; staring uselessly at the aggravated figure of Snow in front of her, Lightning tried to muster some sort of strength back into her limp fingers and raw throat, feeling, once again, cotton balls gathering at the edges of her mind. "Sis, I get it," he repeated. "You're scared of how this's gonna turn out, aren't you? You're scared of losing people you care about, aren't you? And this time, it's _him,"_ he continued, jabbing a finger in Hope's direction. "But we're all mature people here... and like you said yourself, we're all capable of making our own decisions. Nobody's stupid here. If we're stupid enough to help you fight, then the least you can do is respect our decisions."

Snow heaved a dramatic sigh. "I know you still care. And Maker, I know you'll never forget Serah. But it's time... to keep fighting, alright? She would've wanted you to be happy, and to live, so stop. Stop doubting yourself, stop hating yourself for things outta your control, and continue to _live_ in the future you're fighting for."

For a long time, there was silence as she tried to chew through his words, Hope's gentle grasp still lingering on her wrists. Snow was really more observant than she'd touted him to be, and he'd only been with them for a few days. That every single one of his statements hit some doubt twisted in the internal maze, there was no doubt. And that he'd addressed them in a way that was meant to be supportive, there was also no doubt. _Even if they say... they don't, or won't, blame me, doesn't mean _I_ wo__n't._ _I__t's just... I..._

_I can't bear the thought of losing him. _

That in itself was no doubt the most chilling fact of the entire fiasco. _Even if he makes his own choices..._ A new thorn had dug itself into her. _Can I... even _stop_ him?_ That thought had inevitably carried into the next. _He's already made it pretty clear he's not a kid anymore... so he won't welcome me being protective right now._ Lightning wanted to bury her head in her hands and scream right then and there. _How can I stop seeing him as I met him? How does he expect me to stop?__  
_

"Yo, Sis. You wanna tell us what you're thinking instead of bottlin' it all up? That's supposed to be unhealthy, you know." Snow had crossed his arms and was tapping his foot on the ground, a small smirk evident on his lips.

"What would you know?" she mumbled quietly, trying to squirm out of his gaze. The flash of pain down her left leg reminded her why she couldn't, but the heartbeat she caught Hope's anxious sea green gaze, it was like the expression was a catalyst that instantly brought the inner barriers crashing down - a pained whimper escaped the back of her throat and his grip on her tightened the moment it did.

"I just..."

"Light." Hope's voice was firm as he moved to sit beside her, his hands pulling hers to rest on her lap. "I know what you're thinking. I know what you're thinking," he repeated quietly. "And I appreciate it... I really do. I know you promised to look after me... but so did I. So stop... please. If you were in my shoes, you wouldn't let _me_ fight this alone, no matter what I said. And the same goes for you. It's like Snow said... I'm not an idiot, I know what I'm doing... okay?"

And this time, it was her that gripped at their joined fingers for comfort, _her_ that leaned her throbbing temples against his shoulder; feeling his pulse under their brushing skin, Lightning found it both strange and welcoming that the steady rhythm warded off some of the panic and despair still ballooning in her chest. She found that it calmed her in a way very few other things would - and in the moment of closeness, embarrassment didn't even make it to the forefront of her mind at the thought.

A timid hand found its way to the middle of her back and she let it stay there, welcoming the serene warmth it brought. Finding his emerald gaze with her ice blue one, she found no hesitation or anger in those eyes, only heavy expectation and acceptance. "Okay," she finally whispered. "Okay."

The following smile, however brief and however small, found its way into the depths of where she usually kept all her emotions. Storing it away accordingly, almost like a small jewel she wanted to hoard, Lightning tried to keep that expression where it was best put to use: where she kept all of her doubts.

It was granted that she would continue to doubt that decision, doubt her agreement to let them help, and she knew it would always _be_ a part of how she would feel, just like last time. _But I have to believe... that this was the right decision to make. Whatever happens... it has to be better than starting a fight over this... right? It has to be better than falling apart before we've even begun._ He'd told her it would be okay - she would have to trust him, and trust his judgment that it was, and try to find the light in the fact that he was happy with her agreeing with him.

"Awh, you guys are cute," Snow cackled from one side. Jerking her head up, Lightning realized he was still here, looking at them with a devilish look on his face. Shaking Hope's grip off of her, albeit a little reluctantly, she turned a little so she was facing him somewhat.

Rubbing her eyes tiredly, mindful of the sutures set above her right eyebrow, she fought back a groan. _Maker, why did I..._ "Snow... shut up."

He crowed with laughter at the snide comment, resting a hand against the window. "Angry, are we? Alright, alright, I'll leave you alone." Snow paused for a moment, clearly thinking hard. "Someone needs to go into town anyways - lemme see what I can scrounge from the local shops in terms of news." Striding past them, the blond brawler made his way to the door. "See ya in a bit, and oh, Sis? You're welcome for the pep talk."

Despite the emotional disparity from his tone to her current mental condition, the comment brought a thin smile to her lips. Catching it, Snow gave her a thumbs up before slamming the front door behind him, leaving them both staring after his silhouette; Lightning could tell Hope was fighting a smile too. "Contrary to what you might think... and definitely contrary to what you always tend to claim," he murmured softly. "Snow _does_ have, y'know, common sense. At least enough to have the tact to leave you alone when you really need it."

His comment brought an uncharacteristic snort up to her lips as well. "Yeah... whatever."

Quiet fell over them again as she leaned on his shoulder, still fighting the occasional wave of dizziness and lightheadedness as she watched the fiery afternoon sun stain the trees and grass outside the patio door a golden orange, and it was a long time before anyone broke it. Lightning had almost fallen asleep again, her eyes half shut, feeling at least physically relaxed against his warmth pressed to her left side, when Hope spoke.

"Hey... Light? Can we talk?"

She let out a soft hum, not expecting anything out of the blue, not expecting anything more than superficial questions that didn't have any bearing on her own emotional disquiet. When she was closer to him -physically, at least- she had to admit her doubts and fears were a little paranoid... but she'd felt that way with Serah too. _I promise... this time, I won't let you down. I promise. _He cleared his throat a little before he continued. "How d'you feel... you know... about us?"

It was a few heartbeats before she processed, really processed, what he was asking her; when she did, Lightning felt something else close its iron fist around her heart. _Hope, this really isn't a conversation I want to be having with you right now._

But he'd been honest with her, blatantly honest at that, and she knew he deserved that same honesty in reciprocation. Moving her weight off him a little, she let out a quiet sigh. "Hope, I..." It was harder to get out than she'd thought - the words seemed to catch in her throat and they sounded embarrassing and pathetically inadequate in her mind to begin with.

"I care. You know that," she finally managed to get out. Slowly raising a hand, she rested it over the lower half of her face, using it as a support.

He let out a small, rueful chuckle. "I do know that. I happen to know that you care a lot. But... but it's just..." He trailed off, sounding, for the first time, unsure and almost _scared_. And perhaps, it was tantamount to what they actually were when Lightning realized he didn't need to voice it for her to know exactly _what_ his hesitation and anxiety spoke to.

"I know... It's not certain... what we are... is it?" Glancing over at him, she saw, also for the first time, that his hands were held in in tight fists in his lap, silver locks obscuring most visible features of his face - it unnerved her a little, that she couldn't see, or tell, what he was thinking.

"No," he agreed, voice heavy. "It's not." A childish, innocent whine crept into his tones, reminding her, once again, of how vastly different their ages were, even though now, it wasn't immediately very noticeable at all. "But it feels right," he stated plainly. "And... I _want_ it to work out. Don't you?"

The fingers of her left hand found his in a hesitant, unsure movement - but the moment they did, the warm pressure reassured her a little and to her eternal relief, she felt and saw him relax slightly. Carefully looking away, Lightning mauled over her next words, knowing what she wanted to say, and praying to the Maker they'd come out right. _But I've never been good at that sort of stuff... just watch; I'm going to offend him. _Fighting against the cotton balls and the fuzziness in her mind, she hoped that whatever she said, whatever ended up coming out, he'd understand.

"I'm not going to pretend... I don't have my doubts. But... I _do_ care," she finished quietly. "And I'd be lying if I said I _didn't_ want it to work out." Her final words came in a soft whisper; words grating against the back of her throat, she was _afraid _of looking back at him, afraid of what he would make of it.

But if she thought he was going to take it the wrong way, she was mistaken. The hand her slim fingers was currently looped around tightened back suddenly, as he laced his fingers through hers. He didn't need to say it either, but in the moment their eyes met, she pinpointed both a content acceptance and a hesitant shyness, once again reminding her that even though he was an adult by law now, to her, he was still not that much older than a child himself. _But... if I'm honest, I'm glad... we got that sorted out._

"Light?"

A soft, rueful smile crossing her lips, she looked back at him again. "Yes?"

"Can I ask you one more thing?"

Moving her hand over her eyes, Lightning leaned back against the backrest of the couch, resolutely not breaking their delicate contact of fingers. "I'm pretty sure... you're going to ask me sooner or later. So... go ahead."

She felt slightly more confident when she heard his soft chuckle. "Alright. Um... when you mentioned 'doubts' - can you tell me what they are?"

Peering through parted fingers, she moved her hand off her face as she scrutinized his curious, almost _anxious_ expression. _It's probably better if I face him while I say it._Swallowing, she slowly pulled herself back upright, nails of her right hand digging into the ribbed fabric of the couch. "I guess what..." _Urgh._ She tried again. "The honest truth is that I'm kind of scared."

He raised an eyebrow, despite his earlier words and actions. "You're... scared?" The way he said it, it was like the word didn't exist in her vocabulary.

"Yeah... I'm scared. I'm human too... you know," she commented dryly, feeling slightly more convinced when the question didn't bother her at all in any way. "It's just... I've never... Relationships were never something that I thought was worth spending time on, okay? Serah..." _Serah._ Swallowing again, she fought to continue. "With Serah, I never had the time to even think about stuff like that... I was busy trying to keep us fed and keep a roof over our heads, and... back then, I really thought it was a waste of my time..."

"Light-"

Shaking her head slightly, trying to dislodge the slight murkiness that had settled in her brain again, she cut him off. "Hope, just listen... please?" The words came easier now, almost like the first had been held back by a dam - once removed, everything came rapidly and uncontrollably. "I'm happy... it feels right and all, and Maker knows I'd probably be in some sort of asylum if you weren't there for me, but... there's a part of me that's always wondering... what if it doesn't work out?" _What if... I end up losing the one person I've come to trust so completely I can't even begin to imagine how I can keep going afterwards?_ Her next words came as a quiet, hoarse whisper. "What if I end up losing you too?"

Lightning didn't even let him open his mouth before ploughing on - she could guess from his expression he had things to say about her admission, but the emotional storm was already brewing inside again, and there was a part of her that wanted to get all of it out before he said something that would make her crack. "That just brings me up to my second point..." Stopping herself, she proceeded to bury her forehead in her hands, hoping that what she intended to say next wouldn't come and hit her in the face awhile later. _I don't need... to guilt him into anything. And the last thing I want... is pity._ "There's always been a part of me that's been afraid to be close to people... not because I couldn't use the friendship or anything, but because I was afraid of getting hurt." It was to his eternal credit when he stayed respectfully silent, waiting. "Maybe it's because there's been so much death in my life... but it seemed that everyone I got close to... left, whether it was by choice or by something out of control. But to me... it didn't matter. The more connections I made with other people, the more it would happen. Call me selfish... but I didn't want to feel pain anymore." _Serah..._

Continuing was a little harder, because Hope's expression had become unreadable, but now, she was too far along to stop. "And so... that's what's tying me down right now. It's not that I don't trust you..." _I wouldn't have said all of this... if I didn't_. "But... I can't stop how I feel," she finally murmured, hating the way pain made her voice sound like a whimper.

A soft hand brushed pink bangs back from her forehead, gently caressing the skin not marred by the black thread in a soothing gesture as Hope's hands slid down to her shoulders. "Maker, Light... why couldn't you have said any of this before?" The same childish tone entered his voice again as he continued. "Don't worry... I'm not offended or anything like that... If anything, I'm _glad_ you trust me enough to tell me this. And, well... just, don't worry, okay? I mean, I know we can't be perfect, or anything like that, but... I promise I won't leave you alone... okay?" He looked away shyly as he said the last few words, but for some reason, it didn't feel in any way inadequate. Just like her, there were some things that were said that were too great to elicit from him a wordy response.

"But I agreed to let you fight," she whispered, hating herself for bringing it up, but knowing all the same she had to know.

"No! That's different," he countered instantly.

"How? How d'you think I'd feel... if you died in a fight or something because I dragged you into all of this?"

"That's not going to happen," he growled quietly. "I swear, okay?" His grip on her shoulders tightened. "I swear," he repeated softly. "So stop blaming yourself before anything's even happened."

Shocked into silence by the emerald fire in his determined eyes, for a moment, all Lightning could do was sit there, unable to fight back even against the grip on her shoulders. She didn't know what she looked like right now, but the intense gaze in his expression didn't soften. "Just... I don't want you to leave me either, alright?" he admitted quietly, finally, finally looking away.

Without her conscious consent, her hand had come to rest against his collarbone, slowly closing around the thin cotton of his shirt. Noticing the small gesture, Hope looked down, a thin smile spreading on his lips again. "Promise?" he asked quietly, when he finally looked back up; instantly, the expression in his eyes reminded her of the same teenager who had looked to her for protection in the Vile Peaks.

Breathing in, Lightning opened her eyes to meet his gaze. "Okay." And this time, funnily enough, it was her that wanted the same reassurance the warm hunger gave to her mental condition, the one that pushed out all other conscious thought and all other feelings.

This time, it was her that leaned in.

* * *

**Well, I could've sworn that this chapter _felt_ three times as long as it actually is. But I am quite proud of myself - I have a tendency to want to switch POV's whenever a character gets too hard to portray or when I'm like "oh shit, intense emotional moment coming and it'll be hell to write" - but I stuck with Light the whole way through! *fistpump, then gives herself a lollipop***

***coughs* Anyways, yeah. Leave love if you so desire, and I'll waddle off to bed now with the hope that I pulled this off. (I could've done worse... right? Right? D:) I'll see y'all soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	6. Fugue

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next installment of _Revenant Wings!_  
**

**Hearts go to VengeanceUpholding, Lightarcana, GunMetalX, That One Reviewee (oops, forgot to address that issue last update: while yes, there are people are Eden that outrank _her_, Light was superior to both the visiting officer and the scientist, so...), Crowley, Jack Hargreave, Myrrdinfalcon (omigosh, it's reviews like that that totally make my day. Thank you so much!), and thewhitespirit (and don't even worry about it, your support is amazing!) - I extend a heartfelt gratitude to you all and I really appreciate your encouraging support! **

**Time to answer a question more than one of you asked me (and I know this A/N is getting long, sorry!). The first few chapters are heavy on character development because I wanted to set the "tone" right for this story - in short, what you see here before you in terms of HxL is going to set the baseline for what they're going to be for pretty much this whole storyline; I wanted to get every aspect I plan to touch on out there early, which is why these opening chapters have been so heavy on characters and not plot. (That being said, romance isn't going to be a _huge_ driving factor in this plot, but I won't say more than I should, heehee) Chapter 6 picks it up, I swear.  
**

**Enjoy as always, my lovelies!**

* * *

Chapter 6: Fugue

Hands flat against the black window pane, Hope tried to resist the temptation to curl his fingers into fists. It was well after midnight, and Lightning had not yet returned from her first day back at work. She'd warned him she would be late, scoffing at the amount of paperwork that would no doubt be waiting for her, but he didn't expect for her to be _this_ late. Gnawing fingers of worry were beginning to grip his stomach, and he swallowed, trying to convince himself that she was alright. _She's just late... right? She's not stupid... she can't be doing anything crazy, right?_ But trying to convince himself didn't work that way - the only signs of life from the silent town spread before her house was the brightness of the streetlamps: everything else was cloaked in shadow and moonlight, the occasional howl of some Pulsian wildlife reverberating through the darkness.

Irrational fears were beginning to crawl through his skin; she'd gone back to work today, even though she was still limping slightly -the doctor had refused point blank to remove the brace on her knee until it was gone- and it really wasn't all that hard to imagine some sort of monster attacking her in the empty streets. Cringing inwardly at the thought of a hungry monster who was all too intent on its prey, Hope shoved those thoughts angrily out of his mind. _I'm just being stupid now. She's not that... There's no way she'd let something sneak up on her like that._

Resting his forehead against the cold glass, ruffling the silver bangs that had fallen into his face, he tried to redirect those unsettled thoughts. Unfortunately, the only other thing that could dominate his mind as well as those fears was something else that was inevitably connected to Lightning, and he could only be glad that Snow wasn't around to see that... or this, because those embarrassed fingers of warmth were reaching for his neck and cheek again and he didn't think he could face the blond brawler with a straight face and say nothing had happened. The big man had departed a week ago, but had confidently promised that that wasn't the last they'd see of him, nor to be shy to give him a ring if something went wrong.

_But Light..._ In their last few months together, it wasn't often that she was the one who initiated contact. She returned the light gesture when hugged or when their fingers found each others, and she let a rueful smile cross her lips at any other sort of contact, but very rarely was the one to take initiative herself. Not that that in itself was a bother - Hope knew all too well at what sort of mental demons pulled and clawed at her... now. And so he'd been taken aback, but almost _pleasantly_ surprised, when she'd met his lips with hers, slender fingers unconsciously pulling him closer. He'd been shocked for all of a moment before the sensation had dulled all other thought, pushing him to respond.

And in a moment of time that might have lasted for a fraction of a second, or all of eternity, she pulled back, blue eyes both wistful and almost serenely reassured, the shadow of pain in their aquamarine depths almost imperceptible. _"Does that... answer your question?"_ she'd asked gently, before leaning back on the sofa again and closing her eyes, but steadfastly not removing her fingers from the gentle contact of their fingers.

Watching her sleep afterwards, Hope had realized that all he could feel about it was a certain amount of almost ecstatic relief that she'd trusted him enough to be honest with him. Gently brushing back a soft layer of pink hair, he'd gotten up to start dinner, but not before casting a glance back at her sleeping form. _Yes... that answers my question._

And so, that moment had remained with him for the ensuing two weeks, and as a general consensus, it had made him happy. He didn't know what it was, but something had changed in their relationship in that moment - it was subtle, but it hadn't escaped his notice and he highly doubted it had escaped hers either. But whatever it was, it was good: he hadn't noticed any real relapse of those all too familiar emotional hauntings of hers. _And that... that has to be good, right?_

He hoped so.

A flicker of movement outside the window caught his attention; peering down onto the dark grass, his heart leapt when he saw the familiar red cape trailing behind a slender silhouette. Trying to calm his erratic breathing, Hope glanced at his reflection on the smooth glass, trying to make it appear as if he hadn't been _too_ worried about her - that was no doubt going to get him more than a few nasty looks from her. A key scraped somewhere downstairs, and he heard the door ease open, the quiet sound of scuffling drifting up the stairs. Walking into the hall, he flicked on the light to the landing, hearing a quiet muttered curse coming from the bottom of the steps in response.

It was only a few moments later that Lightning limped her way up the stairs, squinting in the brightness provided by the light. "Maker, Hope," she muttered quietly. "You scared me."

"Sorry," he apologized sheepishly, leaning against the top of the banister, trying to resist the temptation to move back when she scrutinized him closely, before letting out a sigh.

"You really didn't have to wait for me... you know. It's late - you should be asleep." He tried not to look too guilty as she dissected his expression. Rubbing her eyes, her next words came out as an exasperated groan. "You really didn't think I wouldn't be okay, did you?" Ambling past him, she made for the bathroom, dropping off a heavy black parcel in her room on her way there.

Following her, pausing in the doorway, he watched her pull roughly at the wavy ends of petal coloured hair hanging loosely down her left shoulder. "Sorry," he apologized again, feeling strangely amused. "I can't help it," he clarified, when she gave him a look through the mirror.

Moving towards him, she slowly pushed him out of the bathroom. "Whatever," she murmured, closing the door in his face.

Smiling softly, he made his way back to his own room, turning on a lamp before sitting down on the bedspread and staring outside at the silvery orb hung in the inky black sky. _She doesn't sound too stressed. _The thought was a happy one as well, as he listened to the sound of the shower starting.

And it was only a mere twenty minutes later that he heard the wooden door to the bathroom ease close with a soft click of the doorknob. Half getting up, Hope had been about to make his way over to her room when he heard soft footsteps outside of his own. "Still not asleep?" Dripping pink hair bundled in a towel, dressed in a black spaghetti strap tank top and loose grey sweatpants, the left pant leg of the cotton garment drawn up past the black knee brace that Hope was happy to see she'd indeed kept on, Lightning poked her head into his room.

"No," he admitted quietly, noticing that she looked somewhat uncomfortable. "Something wrong?" He tried not to make his tone sound too apprehensive, but the look on her face told him he'd been unsuccessful.

A soft sigh escaped her lips. "I wanted to ask your opinion on something, but if you're too tired... it can wait till tomorrow, I'm off then."

Scrambling up, he made his way over to the door. "I'm not tired," he said quickly, catching her shoulder as she made to turn around. A tight, drawn ghost of a smile twitched at her lips as she moved in the direction of her room, holding the door open for him. As he passed her, and as he made to turn on the light in her room, Hope couldn't help but notice the small glint of her navel piercing in the sudden flare of the lamp - the stretchy material of the tank top had hiked up, leaving it exposed. And for some reason, the sight of it jolted at something down in his stomach that he didn't think had anything to do with what he'd eaten hours ago.

Lightning hadn't noticed any of this, though - she was busy unzipping the black bag she'd dropped on her desk earlier, shuffling through the pieces of paper poking out of it, and Hope was fervently glad she hadn't; she might have acknowledged what their relationship was, but inside, he knew that some part of her inhibitions were still present, still haunting her, and he didn't need to make it worse. _"Just give her some time. She'll figure it out eventually." _That had been Snow's suggestion, and annoyed as he was at the blond fighter for nagging into his personal business, Hope had to admit he was right.

A soft sound made him shake those thoughts out of his head; Lightning had sat down at the edge of her bed, a thin folder in her hands. Settling himself beside her, he looked at the paper stuffed inside. "Paperwork?" he inquired teasingly.

She shot him a mock glare before peeling the plastic cover off of it. "Not really. These're the reports of... you know," she finished quietly. "Technically, I'm not supposed to show you, but you hardly classify as a regular citizen, so..." A rising cloud of appreciation bubbling in his chest, he gratefully brushed aside a lock of drying pink hair that had fallen in her eyes, noting with a pang the faint scar that marred the pale skin just above her eyebrow. He had to admit the doctors had done a good job on it, but... _She didn't have to get hurt. _

"The great Lieutenant-Colonel Farron, disobeying military protocol?"

She let out a soft snort. "Hope, don't be naive. What they don't know won't hurt them." The look in her ice blue gaze was a subtle hint she wasn't really in the mood for jokes at the moment, and he took it; waiting for her to start, he couldn't help noticing with a slight flare of alarm that her slender fingers had tightened around the small stack of paper and that they were trembling slightly. "I didn't get around to this until later today," she admitted quietly. "But... here." Quickly passing him the stack, she looked away, her earlier composure slipping; swallowing, Hope looked back at the papers in his hand with a new criticality - whatever it contained, it couldn't be good.

The dry feeling at the back of his throat only increased as he went down the page, and swallowing didn't seem to help at all. _Maker... goddamn. _For a long time, there was only the sound of breathing and the crinkle of paper present in the room as he went through the report from Palumpolum; when he glanced back up, Lightning was looking at him, clearly trying to gauge his reaction, when it came.

And it did come, only a few heartbeats later. "No way," he choked.

* * *

Lightning buried a face in her hand, trying to take a deep breath and feeling not at all that surprised when it didn't calm her in any way. Holding that breath at the back of her throat, she tried to convince herself it was the right thing to do. _I... He was bound to ask me, sooner or later. And it's better that he knows about this sooner rather than later._ If those thoughts were supposed to make herself feel better, she was sorely disappointed. She'd only meant to go to his room to thank him for waiting for her, but some form of her discomfort -which she'd been successful at hiding up until that point- must have shown on her face, because he'd caught it almost instantly. _Maker, I'm pathetic - I couldn't even manage the strength to lie to him and say everything's fine. And so now, he's dragged into this._

Staring at his disbelief was like trying to swallow her own: impossible and choking, it pervaded her mind like a slow fog, except there was no sunlight to chase it away. "I don't know..." she rasped. "I don't want to believe it."

She watched as he reread the thing, as if the second time was going to change the black letters printed on the white sheet. "'_The targets in question are humans with presumed high magical potential,'_" he quoted, hands tightening around the thin paper. "How do they even know this?"

She shook her head again, remembering the visit that afternoon with the same scientist who had come to initially explain the situation to them.

* * *

_"Ah, it looks like my favourite Lieutenant-Colonel is back at work!" A blur of tawny and white danced into her office, clutching a stack of notes. Lightning looked up from her pen to see the scientist they'd meet two weeks ago waltz in, stopping just in front of her desk, slamming the paper stack down in front of her._

_"I'm busy," she snapped. "Come back later."  
_

_He waggled a finger in her face, reminding her instantly and disgustingly, of Snow. "But what I have to say is much more important than _that_," jabbing a finger into the page she was currently writing on. "It ultimately concerns your well-being, as well as those whom I assume you care about, so, if I were you, Lieutenant-Colonel, I'd listen to me."_

_It worked. Slamming her pen down on the table, Lightning set him with an expectant glare, crossing her arms over her chest and drumming her fingers on the opposite forearm. Grinning triumphantly at her expression, the scientist stroked his chin fondly before picking up a page and setting it before her. "I didn't get to introduce myself the last time we met. Dr. Telicyra Carmine, but that's not important right now. Before we begin, though, I want to ask you something. Just how much do you know about Pulsian mythology?"  
_

_Studying him, Lightning found no ill intent in the question, nor did she expect there to be any. Like many of her subordinates here, they didn't know exactly _how_ much she'd come into contact with things that would have been better had they stayed in myths. Even though there was no malignance in the carefree question, it pulled a little too hard at the past that didn't want to let go of her, but he didn't know that. "A little," she finally admitted. "Not much, though."_

_It hurt too much to think about the truth and just how much it had affected her. And it hurt now, that it would come back again to chase after her. It hurt that it would be mythology, once again, that would drive her life down a path she didn't want to travel in.  
_

_Sitting down on the edge of her desk, Carmine twirled her pen in one hand. "Alright, I'll begin with the basics then. I'm sure you at the very least know that this world was the creation of Pulse, Lindzei, and Etro." When she nodded, he grinned, continuing. "Excellent. So you're at least more intelligent than your lackeys. Anyways, back to the point. If you know that much, then you must know that humans were born from the self mutilation of Etro. And this is as far as written records take us. The rest, as we've found out, can only be speculation."  
_

_Spreading a piece of paper before her, he pointed at the lines as he spoke, jabbing at occasional phrases with her pen. "Since Cocoon's fall, we've had a research team comb Pulse for the remainder of the legends, and we've come up with several quite shady theories. They were thrown in the back of the research room, forgotten, until _this_ came up. But there's one Paddran oral legend that expands on the legend." Circling it, Carmine tapped it with his pen. "Monsters arose shortly after the birth of humans, and though there is no hard evidence as to the reason of their appearance, this theory points to the 'soul' left by Etro in each human." His voice dropped several decibels as he continued. "For each kindness, there is harm. For each happiness, there is hurt. The universe itself is no different. For each pure spirit born, there is hatred."_

_Shaking her head slightly, Lightning tried to make sense of what he was trying to say. "So... what you're saying is, monsters were created because... humans were born?"  
_

_"Ah ah... not quite. You see, from what we understand of this Paddran legend, monsters _were_ once human. Reincarnation is part of many Pulsian legends, so I think we're safe to assume that under the law of equality as suggested by this one, if you were good, you came back with a soul. If you weren't, well..." He paused there, clearly relishing its dramatic effect. "But, of course, that doesn't explain what you fought. I have a theory though."_

_Unfurling a rolled up piece of paper from his lab coat pocket, he spread it before her, drawing rough diagrams with the pen. "Reincarnation isn't perfect. No one knows what the Undying Realm looks like, but legends claim it's fraught with Chaos - and if it's fraught with Chaos, guarded and maintained by a powerless deity, what do you think might happen?"  
_

_Mauling through his last words, Lightning glanced up sharply when it clicked what he was trying to say, feeling strings of unease tighten her chest. "So, those things are monsters physically, but...?"  
_

_"You get it!" Clapping like an overenthusiastic child, he clicked the pen with a flourish. "Exactly. What _I_ think, at any rate. None of my colleagues want to believe it, but you seem competent... won't you help me prove it?"_

_Catching her incredulous look, he laughed again. "I'm not asking any favours of you or anything, you just have to go along with what you're doing now. But I'll explain further, at any rate, because you're going to need this next bit." Pulling out another piece of paper, he slid it towards her with the back of the pen. "Further investigation of Pulsian legends claim this: all beings were once in tune with magic. It's not that surprising," he added, with a wry glance in her direction. "Humans are the creation of a goddess, who was the creation of something that created this entire universe. Magic, just like effects in time, reverberate across the continuum, carrying down. But these same legends indicate that humans lost their ability to_ use_ their power when they began to rely on technology. It doesn't matter, though. Those powers, that magic potential, is inside everyone . Obviously, there are different levels, just like levels of physical strength, or stamina, for example, but at some point, all humans are capable of using magic."_

_Cottoning on quickly, she stopped him with a hand. "And when we become l'Cie, we're touched by the power of those same gods; that's why l'Cie can use their magic... correct?"  
_

_"Right again, Lieutenant-Colonel. Why can't my researchers be as sharp as you are?" he lamented miserably. "That's it, essentially. And if we take that theory to be true, then it explains the supernatural abilities of those beings. Being able to regenerate and moving at superhuman speed isn't exactly at all difficult for certain species of monsters, are they? And we can only assume that like the monsters they were meant to be, those creatures have different strengths as well. Now. It took me quite awhile to get this data off of Pulse Management, but here we are." Spreading what looked like a map of Gran Pulse on her desk, he circled two areas. "This... is the cross referenced map of those individuals suspected to have high levels of magic potential in relation to geography. Purple is high, pink is low. And_ this_," jabbing his pen at two red shaded areas, "is where in the cities of Bodhum and Palumpolum the attacks occured. You're not stupid, Lieutenant-Colonel. I think even a two year old would be able to spot the similarities." _

_Lightning stared at the paper for a long time, hardly drawing breath as she took in the correlation between the two facts. And even in the face of that revelation, only one question made it to the forefront of her mind. "How did Pulse Management get ahold of this information?"  
_

_Carmine shrugged. "Beats me. But this info was there when I requested it, so I assume they've done some research as well as found some way to measure an individual's potential; it doesn't really matter. I'm still not quite sure exactly why those 'monsters', for the lack of a better term, are attacking people with a high level of potential, but I've got a theory for that as well. I think it's safe to assume that their intelligence level is on par with a human's, and if we take their parting words for granted that we humans aren't welcome here, then wouldn't it make sense to pick off the lesser numbers of stronger enemies before they can band together, and then take on all the weaker ones that don't pose a threat? The first person actually attacked in each relative situation was someone with quite a high level of magical potential; granted, they were both soldiers, but I wouldn't be surprised if those beings started coming after civilians next."_

_And for the first time since he'd entered the room, the man turned to her fully with an intent look in his steel grey eyes. "And that includes you, Lieutenant-Colonel Farron. You may be a soldier, but I happen to have 'accidentally' found out about not only your involvement in Cocoon's fall, but in the Eclipse as well. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them came after you. And not just you, this goes for the young man you live with, and the blond that was visiting from Eden as well." Getting off her desk, he made for the door; leaving the papers behind on her desk. "And if I were you, I'd be careful - don't leave the house without a weapon, and you'd be wise to pass that on to your friends as well."  
_

_He closed her door with a snap. _

* * *

Lightning looked up to see Hope rubbing the bridge of his nose with both hands. "I can't believe... this is happening," he finally got out. "I wish I could say I don't buy it... like Pulse Management, but... it makes sense, doesn't it?"

Looking down at her knees, she found her hands unconsciously tightening into fists in her lap. "It does. The guy... Carmine, or whatever his last name was, he sounded like he knew what he was talking about. It's just..." Raking her hands through the damp locks of pink hair, she twisted her fingers at their very ends, gripping the wavy tendrils unnecessarily as she tried to stop her fingers from shaking. _I might as well say it... straight up to him. _"Hope. Things are going to get dangerous around here again, and... I don't know how things are going to turn out, okay? And I'd rather be safe than sorry; we're taking his advice. You're not going out without a weapon on you, and you're not going out after dark."

"Light... I'm not a kid."

_Why don't you understand?_ "This isn't a matter of _age_, Hope! You weren't there, you didn't see how fast that thing took out _trained soldiers_." Pointing at her knee, she turned to face him, a wave of frustrated irritation at his apparent difficulty in grasping the seriousness of the situation overriding all other emotions. "Where d'you think this came from? Hope- "

He stopped her with a strong grip on her wrist. "Light, stop! I know. I know," he repeated, pulling a hand through his platinum hair and gazing at her with a pained exasperation on his face. "You don't have to... Just... calm down, okay? I'm not underestimating them and I'm not trying to insult the fact that you care about my safety. But just... don't just worry about me, alright? You're kind of important too," he murmured with a wan smile.

Taken aback by his response, she sat silent for a moment, absorbing his words. Breathing forcibly through her nose, she tried to concentrate on loosing her hands from their tight fists, fighting to suppress the rush of emotion at this last sentence. _He..._ She appreciated the fact that he stayed quiet, letting her chew through his words at her own pace. Pulling in another deep breath, letting it out slowly and using its rhythm to calm down her racing thoughts and feelings, Lightning knew she'd overreacted in her fear and pain. _I'm sorry._

Poking him in the forehead affectionately, hoping that the gesture conveyed the sentiment that she was sorry for the outburst, Lightning found that some of the uncertain fears in her chest was alleviated by the calm way he was looking back at her. "I get it," she mumbled. "Now go to bed... it's late."

She was appeased by a light embrace around the shoulders as he brushed by her on his way back to his room, turning off the light on his way out. Alone in the darkness, Lightning found, almost shamefully, that that slight confidence disappeared the moment he'd left. Hugging her slender arms to herself, it was a long time before the solace of sleep came, and even then, her dreams were dark and disturbed; featuring both blood and death, Serah's death intermixed almost fluidly with her new fears.

_Maker... things have to be alright. They've gotta be._

* * *

The quiet bustle of the streets on a Saturday morning wasn't something Lightning was used to anymore - ever since Hope had come to live with her, he'd insisted on doing the shopping. However, he wasn't going to worm his way out of this one; full morning had not yet broken and she'd blown a fuse sometime last night in the laundry room while unknowingly running the dryer while he was using something upstairs in the same side of the house. Hope hadn't known what type of fuse to get and she doubted he'd get it right over the phone, and so grudgingly, he'd let her come along, grumbling all the while that she was still limping.

She'd told him to stuff a sock in it.

She'd also told him, or rather, _forced_, him to bring Nue. _There's no way... I'm taking chances._

Waiting for him outside the storefront of the grocery mart, her alert stance earned her several odd looks from the bleary eyed storekeeper. Pointedly ignoring him, she tapped her foot impatiently, not removing her gaze from the streets that still didn't hold many people. _Okay, so I doubt we're going to get attacked in the middle of the street in broad daylight, but you never know..._

"Hey." A small poke on her shoulder made her turn around; Hope was standing behind her, one arm laden with a plastic bag. Scoffing slightly, she pulled him forwards towards the direction of home; the morning sun now behind them, it cast long faint shadows on the concrete ahead as they walked.

Their companionable silence was broken by the sound of screaming ahead; breaking into a rough sprint, the gunblade holster hitting the back of her legs as she ran, Lightning pushed away the flash of pain at every other step, hearing Hope chase after her, his breathing quickening into short gasps.

The intersection was just up ahead of them; skidding to stop, the sight down to the right made her breath catch in her throat: a four legged _something_ was clawing at the cobbling only about ten yards down the street, the morning sun too weak to let her see it clearly. She heard Hope's sharp intake of breath when he caught up to her, following her gaze.

Her omega weapon was gripped tight in her right hand before she had even consciously processed that movement - that also happened to the the same moment the thing caught sight of them. Something about them must have clicked in its mind, because it abandoned its previous, unfortunate target and began lumbering its way in their direction. Fear and anticipation didn't even make its way into her mind as the pound of adrenaline overtook all other perceptions, feeling only one thought dominate all else: that Hope could not get hurt.

"On your toes," she hissed, flicking the weapon into sword mode.

_There's no way... I'm losing here. Whatever it takes, I -_we_-__ have to win.  
_

* * *

**Intended cliffhanger... right there. I'm mean, I know that. :p**

**That being said, I'm rather busy starting tomorrow, and will be for the remainder of the weekend, and, I also want to work on the next chapter of _Unwritten_ (Serah's been one difficult girl lately, but I want to give it another go), which means that you shouldn't expect Chapter 7 before, say, Tuesday or so. Sorry! D:  
**

**Leave love if you're so inclined, and I'll see you guys soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	7. Beating Wings

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of RW!  
**

**Love as always goes to That One Reviewee (ahh, yes, that's one of my favourite animes - I love the character development in it), Crystal, and Jack Hargreave (and awh, thank you very much! :3). My appreciation for my supporters is eternal; thank you all so much, and I will try not to disappoint you all! :D Love goes to my muse, LadyAlaska, for whom this chapter is also undoubtedly dedicated to.  
**

**Anyways, not much to say this time, so we'll just jump right in, shall we?  
**

* * *

Chapter 7: Beating Wings

Lightning hadn't realized how close she was standing to Hope until she became aware of his harsh breathing just above her shoulder. Muscles tense, eyes set on the lumbering monster coming in their direction, she didn't dare turn around. The screaming around her became immaterial, like it was part of another world she was only semi-conscious of - the only thing that held meaning for her now was the slowly advancing shape.

Ice blue gaze narrowing the moment it stepped out of the shadows of the buildings and into the faint morning sunlight, she tried to discern exactly what it was. It didn't fit in with her mental catalogue of monsters, but it didn't need to: she was fairly sure of what it was. And even with the mental preparation that it was physically much stronger than her, she'd been unprepared for the moment it leapt in their direction; instincts instantly driving her to dodge, it was only after she'd dived out of the way did Lightning realize with a jolt of dread that she hadn't given Hope any warning.

Reaching out with her gunblade, she tore the blade of the omega weapon across its shoulder, effectively distracting its attention from Hope, who she was frustrated to see hadn't pulled out _his _weapon. _This isn't some game, Hope! This is real, and the evidence is _right in front of you _that they're after us!_ Trying to move backwards out of its range, Lightning realized a little too late that her left knee wasn't letting her move as fast as she would've wanted to - stumbling back at the tear of pain through her knee, the only choice she had left was to jam her weapon straight up.

The tip of the gunblade met fur, then flesh, and just as warm blood splattered down her arms, it bucked away from her, yanking its throat away from the serrated edge of the omega weapon. "Light!" Hope's voice sounded distant as she struggled to regain her balance, gritting her teeth at the incessant pain in the knee whose movement was still so rigidly restrained with the black thing around it. "Light, watch out!" A dark shadow appeared over her head and she spared a heartbeat to glance up, only to see another one perched at the top of the building whose shadow they were under. _Shit!_

Lurching away from the wall, squeezing the trigger with her index finger as fast as the mechanism would allow her to, Lightning felt an odd sense of satisfaction to watch the body drop from the roof and land with a sickening thud on the cobblestone below. Unsteady claws on stone sounded behind her - she'd been about to yell at Hope to run if he couldn't get his act together and fight back, before another spray of bullets joined her own as she buried the rest of the round in the direction of its skull, dropping the monster body to the ground. Whipping around, seeing soldiers gathering at the intersection they'd just left, she lowered her weapon, breathing hard and trying not to let the strain she'd just put on her knee show on her face.

Limping forwards, Lightning found herself staring down at the two motionless corpses sprawled on the cobblestones, feeling some sort of nausea rise at the back of her throat. It hadn't registered in her mind while she was fighting that these had been taken out much more easily than the one she'd encountered at the gorge. _But I suppose nothing mortal can keep coming with two rounds of bullets in them. _She wondered if that was supposed to be comforting. Warm hands rested on her still heaving shoulders as she glanced up to see Hope just behind her, an unreadable expression on his face; accepting the gesture, she turned her attention back to the bodies lying on the ground, omega weapon still gripped unnecessarily tightly in her right hand, as if she expected them to rise from the dead and attack again. _And the sick thing is, there's a part of my mind that's expecting them to do just that._

It wasn't the oddly proportioned limbs that disturbed her, nor the unnaturally long claws that extended from their front paws. It was the hauntingly _human_ look that dominated their facial features, a long mane of maroon red fur that looked suspiciously like hair spread back from their shoulders. Lying intwined in death, they looked more human than they had while attacking.

"Lieutenant-Colonel!" A shout distracted her from those thoughts as Hope quickly let go of her; turning her head, she watched a captain wearily approach her, the rest of the soldiers now holding back the crowd that had gathered. "Are you hurt?"

Drawing a deep breath through closed lips, Lightning forced back the unprofessional surge of unease that was still wracking her frame. "No."

"Thank the Maker," he breathed quietly. "We got here as soon as we heard there was trouble." With an uneasy glance at Hope, he continued. "We didn't know you were engaging them though, we thought it was your day off."

"It was," she asserted. "But I happened to be out, and well..."

Nodding, the officer turned back to the corpses lying on the ground, lowering his voice. "What do you want to do with these, ma'am?"

The question had caught her off guard. _What do I want to do with them... Right._ Struggling to remain in control of her voice, Lightning knew she couldn't let how easily Hope's and her own presence had attracted the monster in their direction. "Bring them to HQ. There're bound to be people there interested in what they are."

If the officer noticed a change in her demeanor, he didn't voice it. "Yes, ma'am! Will you want the results of the autopsies sent to you? I'll have someone deliver it if you want."

Giving him a brisk nod, she tugged on Hope's hand to lead him away, ignoring the officer's query if she was sure she didn't need a medic to look at her, the gathering crowd instantly parting for them - and for a moment, that surprised her, until she realized she was still gripping her weapon in one hand. It wasn't until they were almost home, and finally alone again did Hope finally break the silence. "Light, are you sure you're okay?"

Closing her eyes, it was all she could do not to snap. "Hope," she murmured through gritted teeth. "That's not the pressing issue right now. You deserve a straight answer to the real question and right now, I know I can't give that." _Not without breaking down and not without shouting at you for what _could_ have happened had I not gone with you today!_

To his credit, he remained silent as she unlocked the door and made her way upstairs. Stripping off the dirtied uniform in the bathroom, Lightning refused to look at her reflection, afraid of what the creature in the mirror would look like. And in the shower, it seemed that no matter how hard she scrubbed at her skin, the bloody stains left by the dying monster wouldn't come off. It wasn't until the balmy steam had almost dissipated from the room did she finally think she could accept what had happened in such a short time span this morning.

_It went from a somewhat enjoyable shopping trip to my worst nightmare so fast I couldn't even process it. The moment it noticed us... That just proves that Carmine creep was right... wasn't he? That those things are attracted to people who have high magical potential?_ The thought hadn't been so bad until it chained right into her next one. _But that just means... he's in more danger than I am. He's always been good at that magic mumbo jumbo... which we all thought was a good thing the last time around. And this time... he can't even use it anymore and it's putting him in danger!_

Hands slamming into the slick tiles of the bathroom wall, she tried not to let that thought get to her, but it was like trying to hold down a single tree in a hurricane: impossible and it hurt even more to try. _Shit... Shit!_ Fingernails digging into her palms, she thought the pain would assuage the rising panic in her chest; instead, the insufficient distraction only served to paint nightmarish images in her mind as the accidental resemblance to the claws of the monsters this morning drew up those thoughts.

A small knock came at the door. "Light... are you okay?"

_No, I'm not!_ When she didn't reply, he tried again. "Light... can I come in?"

She'd been about to refuse when a new thought wormed its way into her head. That thought -and there was a part of her that acknowledged its validity- was that maybe, maybe his presence would alleviate some of pained agitation this morning's encounter had left her. _No... what am I thinking?_ Pushing it away with the rational part of her mind, Lightning found that her hand rested on the metal doorknob anyways; fingers trembling against the steel, she knew she couldn't fight it for long: there was still a part of her that needed him to continue to function rationally.

Pulling on the black shorts and her customary tank top with unsteady fingers, she eased open the door, not surprised to find him still waiting there. She watched, almost pathetically, as he scrutinized her, feeling as if his emerald gaze saw through everything she was trying to hide.

"Look-" he began, voice unsteady, before she could no longer contain the feelings that had been tearing at her interior since the aftermath of the fight.

"No, Hope, _you_ look! You see what could've happened? You see what could've easily been you? What if I didn't go with you today? What if you didn't bring your weapon today? Hope-" Choking, she forced back the emotions down her raw throat, hating herself when the next words came out as a pained whisper. "Those things came after us because we had higher magical potential than anyone else around us. He was right, goddammit!" Taking an unsteady step forwards, Lightning found her forehead leaning against the doorframe as she tried to control her erratic breathing, anxiety rising when she realized she couldn't. "And it's only going to get worse. When it reached us... it went for you, not me... because..."

_I can't do this!_

* * *

Hope realized Lightning was losing it perhaps ten seconds before she actually did. Closing the small distance between them quickly, he gripped her shoulders, giving her a slight shake. "Light, stop!" _I have to calm her down before she...!_

When she didn't look like she'd heard him, he tightened his grip, bringing her to lean against his shoulder, hoping that his presence would calm her, like it so often did.

It was clear he'd underestimated how much this morning had affected her the moment he felt how fast her heart was beating - tightening his hold on her as she sank to her knees, Hope found himself starting to panic. _Please, Light, no, not now!_ He didn't try to stop her when she slowly wrapped her arms around her middle; letting go, he sat in front of her, his own hands twisted in his lap as he tried to think of something suitable to say, something that wouldn't make it worse.

Taking a breath, he tried to calm his own fears before he opened his mouth. "Light?" he began, watching for her reaction. "I'm sorry." _And... I am. I didn't take you seriously last time... I didn't think he'd be right. But now..._ Watching her fight, while he'd been frozen with shock and fear, he'd realized that her fears hadn't been unfounded. That what he'd dismissed as paranoia left from her days filled with depression held more than just a pigment of truth in them - in that moment, he'd realized that he held her fears just as much as she'd clung to them. "I didn't take you seriously," he mumbled quietly. "I didn't want to believe him... I'm sorry... okay?"

The long moments stretched on in silence - he couldn't hear anything except the uneven beating of his own heart and he could feel his knotted palms beginning to get sweaty.

A pulse of hope tugged at his heart when she finally looked up, only to be instantly deadened by the look in her eyes. "I don't want... I don't you apologizing for the sake of apologizing... to make _me_ feel better. I don't want to hear it, so... just save it, okay?" Pressing the back of her hand to her mouth, her voice was slightly muffled as she continued. "What I want... is you to say you'll be careful from now on," she admitted quietly.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Hope couldn't suppress a rueful chuckle. "I promise, Light." Reaching over, pulling his arms gently around her shoulders, he rested his chin lightly atop her head, breathing in the shampoo smell of her hair. "I still hold my sentiment though... you'll be careful too?" He tried to make it sound light and as an offhand comment, but in reality, the question enshrouded him with fear. _She could still be..._

Her hands plucked his from her shoulders. "You're still in more danger than I am," she mumbled, still not meeting his gaze. "Hope... I didn't need to... Magic wasn't something that I was helpless without, but... But what about you?"

She'd touched on an issue he hadn't really addressed himself. _What... will I do?_ It wasn't that he was _helpless_, per se, without magic, but... _But I know that she knows I can't fight like her or Snow. _Swallowing, he tried to reassure her. _This isn't something she should be worrying about right now._ "I'll be careful," he repeated quietly. It was the only assurance he could give without lying to her.

"Is that... going to be enough?"

It scared him when Hope realized he didn't have an answer that was reassuring in any way. "I don't know," he finally said, truthfully. "I don't. But Light... I swear that I won't be stupid, alright?" _It's the only thing... I can give._

He was reassured when her fingers lingered on his. "Don't let me down... okay?"

A small smile twitching at his lips, he returned the gesture. "I got it, Light."

* * *

Glaring at the private who stood nervously across the desk, Lightning loosened her grip on her pen a little - she'd snap it if she held it any tighter than she had been. "What do you mean, you don't have the reports I requested?" she snarled slowly.

She watched him swallow nervously. "They wouldn't give them to me, ma'am. I swear I asked," he tried to appease.

"Bullshit," she snarled. Standing up, palms flat against the surface of the table, she saw him cringe. "What do I have to do to get some papers around here? I give you this simple task and yet you fail to accomplish it. How hard can getting some reports from Eden be?" She'd been about to dismiss him when someone else danced into her room, slipping past the slightly ajar door. _Great_, she groaned inwardly. _Him again._

"Don't get your feathers in a twist, hun," sang Carmine. "I got what you want right here." Gritting her teeth, she watched Telicyra Carmine dismiss the private before holding out a stack towards her. _Don't call me 'hun'. Even _Hope, _who arguably has the right to use affectionate terms for me, __ has more brains than to call me __that. _Snatching them, she shot him a glare, one that didn't even start to dampen his spirit. She'd begun to wonder if _anything_ was depressing to him. _Sheltered li__fe, someone?_

"You really shouldn't blame him," he mused. "It's hard getting anything from Eden these days. Even though the attacks have officially begun, Eden's not really being cooperative at all. But the good thing is, those monsters you killed? They proved I was right; I've yet to thank you for that, Lieutenant-Colonel. Allow me to extend my heartfelt gratitude to you." Ignoring him, Lightning stared down at the papers, trying to tune him out.

In the two weeks since the day in town, the attacks had gotten more frequent, to the point where Command in Eden had issued a twenty four hour watch on all the majorly populated cities on Pulse. The reason behind the attacks was still unknown, but the rumours had reached the civilian population that if this kept up, it could be war. "You know," Carmine mused. "Looking at the records for those attacks isn't going to help you figure out why they're happening."

"Oh really?" she snapped, trying hard not to let the irritation show. The man's insensitivity rivalled Snow's - she could have slapped him in the face with an obvious hint and he wouldn't know it. "And I suppose you do?"

He grinned at her. "Why d'you think I'm here? You're the only higher ranking commanding officer who'll take me seriously."

_I wonder why. _

Undaunted, he continued. "But doesn't it feel _great?_ Because you proved me right, and because you took out our first specimens, they're talking of promoting you again in Eden. But beyond your forthcoming fame, why don't I share my brilliant theory with you?"

Sitting back in her chair, Lightning waited. "Well," he clarified quickly. "I don't have a definite answer yet. But I've got my suspicions. Let's just say... we've been on Pulse for four years, nearly five. And in that time, apart from the usual bloodthirsty wildlife, nothing major's attacked us, minus the Eclipse. Not too different from Cocoon, in fact. So why now?" Lowering his voice, he cast a nervous glance towards the door. "We must have done something wrong since - why else would their cryptic message be '_You are not welcome here?'_ If we were unwelcome four years ago, they would have made it known then. But no. It's now."

Furrowing her brow, she stared suspiciously at him. "So what? You've got a conspiracy theory or something?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. I'm just saying, their lack of a response until now is disturbing. Oh, and by the way, we've come up with a term for these monsters-with-human-brains. They're officially termed '_Meurites'_, as per some genius from Eden."

"That genius wouldn't be you, would it?" she remarked disdainfully; really, the scientist was so full of himself it disgusted her - he reminded her all too well of certain other people in her life who'd been just as confident of their power and destiny to rule the world.

Smirking at her as he made his way towards the door, he gave her that same jaunty wave. "In the flesh, ma'am."

Lighting found that she was breathing unnecessarily hard as she stared after him. Raking a hand through messy pink hair, she let out a sigh. _I'm overreacting. _It wasn't that she felt _bad _for snapping at the slightest irritation, it was that she knew it was her own fear getting the better of her nerves: they'd escaped pursuit so far, but with the attacks increasing in frequency every day, it was bound to happen sometime, and if one of them got to Hope while she wasn't home... _I don't... want to think about it!__  
_

Pressing both her hands to her face, she pulled in a breath between her fingers. _I don't want to think about it, I don't want to think about it..._ Concentrating on the papers was harder after that - panicked thoughts kept arising in her mind as both imagination and memories twined together to make nightmarish images that crowded unrelentingly at her consciousness. _Serah..._

Her sister's death clung close to her awareness; perhaps it was the imminent threat of losing someone else she cared about, but Lightning had found the subtle reminders of Serah much more prominent and disturbing then they had been for a long time. And for the first time in months, she'd had a nightmare that took more out of her than she would've liked to admit.

* * *

_Claws tearing at the edges of her consciousness, she tried to back away from them, only to find her back pressed against solid wall that showed no way out. Trying to run, the ground yawned open underneath her, the earth in front of her falling into nothingness, leaving her helpless and trapped. _

_Those claws had caught her lower legs.  
_

_Pinning her to the ground, the pain didn't even register in her mind as the agonizing pressure crept up her lower back. Unable to move, lungs pressed to the ground, Lightning could only struggle futilely against the weight pushing down against the lower half of her body. And that was when she saw it, when she raised her head to gasp for a breath.  
_

_The monster that had attacked them in the streets was advancing on Serah - her sister was on her knees, hands clutched to her chest as she tried to crawl away from the thing. "Claire! Claire, help me!" The cry instantly pulled at the very inner of her instincts, the one that spoke directly to the utter desire to _protect._ Her own hands gripping the floor, trying to pull herself out from under those unforgiving claws, they only dug deeper into her skin the more she struggled. "Serah..." Her voice was hoarse and ragged, and she _knew_ her sister hadn't heard her._

_And that was also the moment a new voice joined in to the nightmarish chorus. "Light!"  
_

_Hope.  
_

_Unable to move, unable to rip herself free, she could only watch the two people that meant more to her than anyone else fall victim to those monsters, those claws, those fangs.  
_

"_**No!**_"_  
_

_Hands, real hands this time, gripped at her shoulders, pulling her out of the sheets that had become all too suffocating and all too real, pulling her arms free from their tortured position beside her head. "Light, wake up! Wake up." The second command was gentler, but she fought the grip anyways, unsure of whether it was nightmare or reality. "Wake up!" There was a tone of fear in the third repetition.  
_

_A gentle caress at her cheeks, brushing sweaty hair that was clinging to her skin helped her discern that those claws had gone. Forcing herself to open her eyes, Lightning found herself staring at the scared, concerned sea green gaze of Hope, realizing that the screams were her own. Pulling in a forced breath, she tried to make her hands stop trembling, but it was hard - the last vestiges of the nightmare clung close to her, refusing to let her go.  
_

_Warmth wrapped itself around her waist, and a warm heartbeat joined her own. "It's okay... it was just a nightmare. It wasn't real..." Hope sounded like he was trying to comfort a child, but in that moment, she didn't care. Taking in another hesitant breath, she tried to cling to those words, trying to tell herself that he was right.  
_

_Silence consumed the room as they sat there; trying to use his breathing and his heartbeat as a metronome for her own, it was a long time before she found the inner equilibrium to say something. "I'm sorry..." she breathed hoarsely. Pulling in breaths was easier now that the dire urge to dry heave was gone, now that the panic was somewhat assuaged by his presence._

_"Sorry?" he asked quietly. "Don't worry about it... okay? I'm kind of here for a reason."  
_

_Feeling a small smile tug at her lips at those words, she glanced up hesitantly. "D'you want me to leave now?"  
_

_Leave? That was the last thing on her mind, as those words unconsciously tugged up a long buried memory in which he'd said the exact same thing. "Stay," she murmured, not wanting to admit that his presence calmed her more than it should have, for someone who used to claim she was a one woman army._

_She heard a small hum of assent. Leaning her head against his shoulder, Lightning found that indeed, her fears seemed insignificant when Hope was _right there._ She didn't fight his grip when his left hand found her right, and she didn't protest when he gently flicked the blanket over her slender form again. _

_She'd drifted off to a slightly easier sleep; comforted by his warm presence, she didn't see the moment an uncertain shadow crossed his gaze._

* * *

The pen in her grip nearly snapped when she heard the alarm; standing up, glad that her movements were no longer hindered by the black material pulled around her knee joint, her omega weapon was already in hand the moment a captain burst into her room.

"Lieutenant-Colonel! This is bad - an attack on the northern side of town! Patrols first encountered Meurites in the brush from Cocoon's direction, we thought we had them, but there were more we didn't see! It's a full blown invasion ma'am, we gotta-"

Lightning didn't even bother letting him finish his sentence before pushing by him roughly, breaking into an uneven stride, panic and fear pushing aside all other thoughts. She barely registered the fact that he was stumbling hurriedly behind her.

"Ma'am, reinforcements from Eden - ETA is twenty minutes, but we have to send everyone out!"

"Then do it!" she snapped, trying to keep her own emotions in check; her soldier sense warring with the utter desire to run. Trying to maintain some sense of professionalism, it was a few useless heartbeats before she realized it was useless - her emotions and fears were now too big of a part of her for her to suppress it as easily as she used to be able to do.

In the pandemonium around her, she registered only one shout before that one statement sent her out the front doors, feet pounding on the paved streets, gunblade gripped in fingers so tightly that it hurt.

_"Civilian toll rising, page the medics from the Eden team - can they get here any faster?"_

She had absolutely no doubt as to who the Meurite army was after.

Her house was on the northern side of New Bodhum.

* * *

**Um. So I felt like being a cruel, cruel person. Haha. But I did end up getting this up early, so maybe there won't be so much hate? I'm not sure. *hides behind an Entrench*  
**

**But I swear the next chapter won't take me too long, perhaps Tuesday, the original date I promised for this chapter? (Maybe even tomorrow if you guys are lucky, but I'm 90% finished Chapter 13 of Unwritten so I might post that instead) Anyways, leave love as always, and I'll see you guys very soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	8. How Much You Are Lost

**So hey all, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings!_ **

**And once again, my love for my supporters is eternal: GKMader (haha... well, this fic will _probably_ end up somewhere along NR's length at the rate we are going), Jack Hargreave (funny you should mention that... stay tuned!), Berl (don't even worry about it - your support's been awesome!), Lightarcana (It went after Hope cause he had higher magic than her, essentially), Crowley (okay, I didn't want to spoil anything, but... let's just say I wouldn't be _that_ mean to Light), Crystal, and Mylaervain (no worries at all, you've been amazing)! You guys really make a girl smile. (:  
**

**That being said, we're about ready to move on. Just a warning here; super long chapter ahead; at over 7,500 words, I really hope you enjoy! (But that also being said... it leaves much more room for error, so I do apologize in advance if I missed something in my editing)  
**

* * *

Chapter 8: How Much You Are Lost

Smoke greeted her the moment she burst out of the building, choking senses and intent alike. Holding a forearm over the lower half of her face, Lightning tried to squint through the smoggy blackness of the thick tendrils that clung to the ground. _Shit. _Sounds were muted in the haze, the muffled gunfire in the distance sounding no more potent than if a pen had been dropped from shoulder height onto the ground.

Making her way through the streets by memory alone, she tried to discern where the flames were coming from. Leaping lightly onto the rooftop of a low building, Lightning found herself looking across the smoke shrouded city, finally finding an orange smudge that flickered through the illusion of false night. Jumping down, threading her way through civilians intent on getting to the other side of town as fast as possible, it wasn't long before she found herself in abandoned streets.

And just like that, images branded into her memories slammed into her chest like a physical blow. It was impossible not to draw the similarities, no matter how hard she tried. And try as she might, she couldn't push them away. _Okay. Okay. This isn't four years ago. There isn't any real need for me to be reacting like this. _Summoning the trained professionalism did little for the familiar hauntings that were beginning to chip away at her exterior - she couldn't. Pushing her body into a sprint did little other than to crowd those emotions to the sides of her consciousness; they were still there, and Lightning knew all too well that at the right trigger, it would arise like a sudden storm and leave her utterly helpless against its backlash.

_Stop... Stop!_ Pushing those thoughts to the side, she tried to focus on what she had to do. _And that's to get to Hope. Not start despairing because I can't let go of my past. _A blaze of fire brushed her shoulder; whipping around, she heard the telltale thump of a body dropping to the ground. _Who the fuck-_

That was when she stopped, face to face with a humanoid whose shoulder the top of her head barely reached. Taking several steps back, she tried to place him in her mental list of enemies that by now was in a sore need of expansion. He _looked_ humanoid enough, minus the fact that his right hand was still smoking from the fireball that had just barely missed her. Dressed in tattered pants and an overcoat that was reminiscent of Snow's, she could see where bullets had ripped across his clothes, apparently unaffected. And through the rips in the fabric, she could very clearly see an eye, not unlike those embedded in Cie'th. "So you're the one," he rasped at her; an odd ring was present in his tone, but she couldn't place it - it was familiar, but right now, her higher mental functions had more to be occupied with than thinking about where she'd heard the odd lilt in his voice before. "You've been on my radar for quite awhile. Though I'm impressed - I didn't think some little girl like you would have so much potential."

Reaching behind her legs for her gunblade, Lightning brought it to shoulder height, serrated tip pointed at his forehead. "'Little girl', am I? Want to test that theory?" In the face of an enemy, those emotional bonds seemed to disappear like dewdrops in the morning sun - invisible for now, but would surely return once the sun set and night began anew. _But... I'll deal with that when I need to. Right now..._

He laughed, as if burning down buildings with what was undoubtedly a Firaga was something he did on a daily basis. "Oh, I do," he smirked, licking his lips. "I want to see what kind of 'soldier' you aliens from Cocoon can come up with, for one individual person to house so much magical potential. Tell me, where you ever aware that you had so much? Ever tried using it? It's fun," he laughed. "You should try it sometime."

_I was more aware of what I had than you'll ever know. _

Shoulder rolling to the side, avoiding the Fire that had blasted through the expanse of space where her throat had been only seconds before, Lightning swiped the omega weapon at his feet. It caught his pant leg, but utterly unconcerned, the Meurite just took a few steps back, cackling insanely. "So that pretty little face isn't all for show, I see. But I suppose no rose is without its thorns." Drawing his hand back, she could see the fire beginning to gather in his palm. "Too bad that no matter how pretty you are, your kind still isn't welcome here!"

He missed. The Fira crashed into the brick just above her head, sending thousands of rock slivers raining down around her. Running forwards, flipping the gunblade into gun mode, she aimed for his head; pulling the trigger, the bullets didn't seem to affect him - she was sure she saw more than one bury itself into the tawny, animalistic looking flesh, but there was no wound.

"Lieutenant-Colonel!" The shout of her title made her look up sharply. The pounding of other feet down the street was getting closer now, and she could hear the distinctive clicks of more than one weapon. Skidding backwards with a back flip, she let them lock onto it with their weapons. The first bazooka crashed into the street, sending a spiderweb of cracks shuddering through the rough cement, and she heard several sniper rifles fire.

Raising her weapon to chest height, Lightning stood there, not relaxing her tense muscles, waiting for the smoke from the barrage of gunfire to clear. She had perhaps two seconds of warning when she first caught the glimpse of the rising silhouette in the smoke; diving into the shadows of the alleyway, she was still knocked flat on her stomach. Even there, sheltered from the blast of fire by a sheer expanse of rock, the wave of dry heat hit her cheeks like a sweltering tsunami. It was only when the roar of the flames had stopped after the initial explosion did she realize with a pang of dread she hadn't ducked into the alleyway fast enough. There was an odd ringing in her left ear, and when she touched her hand to it, the fingers came away sticky. _Shit._ Pulling in a deep breath, ignoring the smoky accent in the stale air, she tried to reassure herself that it couldn't be that bad if she could still hear out of it... somewhat.

Getting up was harder than she'd anticipated. Gripping the scorched brick wall, it was a few long moments before the truth sank in: she wasn't just _dizzy_, the kind that went away after closing her eyes and waiting for a few seconds. This, and Lightning had never truly appreciated the phrase 'the world was spinning', was the type of vertigo that made her feel like she was standing on a flopping ice floe, trying to keep her balance in a world that seemed all too determined to tilt her over. _Calm down, Farron, you're a commanding officer, not some rookie right out of the academy that doesn't know how to deal with the aftermath of an explosion._

It was really easier said than done.

If she held onto the side of the wall, she could remain standing without feeling the intense urge to throw up. Moving forwards inch by painful inch, it was a few minutes before Lightning found herself looking out at the remnants of the street, wincing at the sight of charred corpses and melting metal that was snaking its way down to the storm drain. Grating footsteps approached her from the left - forcing herself to keep her gaze on the Meurite, she caught his grin even through the acrid smoke that swirled around them. "It looks like the pretty one is still alive." She saw his gaze linger on the trail of blood making its way down the left side of her face, staining the pink locks twisted over her shoulder a bright scarlet. "Not too surprised, though."

Licking the tip of his finger, he pressed his other hand into the wall beside her, effectively blocking her way out. Gripping her chin, he forced her to look at him. Pulling in another shaky breath, trying to control her breathing to even gasps, she wrenched his grip off her face, stumbling past him. The world lurched painfully in that moment; struggling to maintain her balance, she saw him smirk when she tried to hold her gunblade steady with trembling fingers.

"Ha!" he laughed at her. "Who're _you_ so determined to survive for?" Waving his arm behind him at the scorched, limp forms, he gesticulated with a flourish. "This could've been nice'n'easy, see how easily they went down? It could've been painless, but instead, you're choosing to fight it out the long way." He took a step closer to her. "So? Who is it? Your family? A boyfriend?"

Clenching her fingers around the omega weapon's handle, Lightning tried not to let the words get to where they wanted to go. _Serah... told me to keep living. Hope told me to keep living. That's why... that's why I fight, because it's the only way I can keep living. But...!_ Gritting her teeth, she brought his form into focus. "None... of your business," she snarled slowly, glad to feel some of the debilitating dizziness was beginning to recede. "Who I fight for... is _my_ decision!"

Her weapon caught his arm just as he raised it to send another Fira in her direction. "I have people I care about... People I don't want to see hurt. _That's_ why I'm fighting!" Jamming the jagged edge of her weapon into his arm, ripping slowly towards the Meurite's torso, she felt a sick sense of satisfaction to see that the blade was doing much more than the projectiles had.

Those fingers curled around her wrist in one more motion before they dropped limp. "Well guess what?" he choked at her, form slowly collapsing to the ground. "We have people we care about too. It was never... all about you. You live in a damn dream world... it's about time you woke up to reality, no...?"

The Meurite dropped to the ground with a sickening thud.

Backing away, panting hoarsely, Lightning tried to gather her thoughts and not focus too hard on what he'd just said to her. Forcibly pushing those thoughts away to the back of her mind, where she knew they would come back to haunt her in a weaker moment, she found that she could only think of one thing at the moment that would banish those chilling last words from her consciousness.

_I wasn't lying... when I said why I was fighting. _

_Hope...  
_

* * *

Pressing his back to the rough bark of the tree, Hope tried to evade the constant fireballs of the thing just beyond the copse of trees. Gripping the back of Nue tightly in one hand, he scanned his gaze over the thick smoke that clung to the tops of the buildings of New Bodhum, trying to swallow his feelings of apprehension.

The first fireball had landed just a few feet short of the house - bolting into the trees, trying to make himself a smaller target, he hadn't had a chance to worry about Lightning. But now, deep in the strand of forest that decorated the path to Cocoon, his breathing seemed to have calmed somewhat and it had allowed his thoughts to wander. _Light... you're okay, right? _He didn't want to think about the burnt, limp bodies he'd passed on his flight; masks and weapons melting, those soldiers had been locked in death's cruelest embraces. He tried not to imagine it, but the thoughts crowded up anyways, invading his consciousness and leaving him more scared than he would have liked to admit.

It wasn't hard, really, to imagine her lying on the side of the road, twisted in some unnatural form of death while some silhouette laughed insanely beside her. _Goddamn..._ Clenching his hands into fists, palm of his right hand digging painfully into Nue, Hope forced that thought out of his mind. _This is how... No. I have to believe she's okay. _

A rustle to his right caught his attention - peering out hesitantly behind the shield of leaves, he saw the distinctive sickly tawny skin of the wave of monsters that had decided to pick this day to attack the city lumbering through the leaves. Clearly, it was looking for something, and he'd read enough of Lightning's reports to know that it was him. Grip tightening on Nue, Hope slowly lowered himself to the forest floor, waiting.

The boomerang found its mark before it was aware that he'd thrown it; wincing at the dull crunch that sounded almost too loudly through the otherwise quiet forest, he waited until he heard something heavy drop to the leaf laden ground before moving out of his hiding spot.

Swallowing his disgust at the sprawled beige skin on fur lying on the leaf strewn earth as he crept forwards, Hope heard no other sounds of pursuit as he pulled Nue free from where it had embedded itself in the creature's neck. Staring down at it, for a moment, he felt something other than disgust tug at him as he scrutinized its features. It had seen so daunting before, and in death, vulnerable. The limbs were oddly proportioned, just like the ones Lightning had taken out in town, but once again, there was something about its features that was oddly human. _Is it... really..._

A blast of flame made him look up; through the spaces between the branches, Hope saw a fresh plume of fire engulf some part of town. Leaving the momentary sanctuary of the trees, he found himself on one of the cliffs that overlooked the town. The smoke was thicker here, holding a sleeve over his face and squinting with watering eyes, he tried to make out the shapes of soldiers and enemies alike, realizing too late it was impossible.

Shouting to his left got his attention even though the muffled sounds that the smokescreen hid; turning quickly, he saw the floundering shapes of several soldiers trying -unsuccessfully- to fend off a wolf-looking monster with their guns. The desire to find Lightning and the instinct to go and help them warring with each other, the decision was made for him only a few heartbeats later.

The monster had made short work of one of the soldiers, and the moment it looked up, it locked its flaring gaze with him. And just like before, something about him must have clicked in its mind, because it was barreling towards him in the next heartbeat, claws ripping the grass in front of him to shreds. The sound of rapid firing catching up to it, his boomerang found its shoulder, dropping it to three paws momentarily. It was up the next, still determinedly limping fast in his direction and by now, Hope could hear its low growls coming from its throat.

A single shot dropped it to the ground as the rest of the soldiers came running up to inspect the monster's limp form on the sodden grass. He'd been about to thank the soldier whose snipe had saved him when an eerie call echoed through the cliffs.

Instantly freezing, Hope found his fingers gripping the tough blades of the grass unnecessarily tightly. He didn't know what it was, but there was something about the cry that spoke instantly and irrevocably to the most primitive part of his brain, the one that spoke directly to fear. He didn't recognize the voice nor did he have a place for the note it had used, but he didn't need to: every single instinct was screaming at him to run and hide.

An equally haunting silence settled over the town the moment the cry stopped echoing over the rock.

"Damn," he heard one of the soldiers mutter. "What was that?"

Standing up shakily, Hope tried not to let how much the shriek had unnerved him show on his face. _Light, you're alright down there, right...?_ "Thanks," he muttered to the soldiers.

"Don't sweat it, kid. You're a civilian, right?" Scrutinizing him closely, the officer extended a hand to him. "Look, you should be at the shelter-" The man was interrupted by the crackle of static from a radio.

_"Private Lee, d'you read me? What's your position?"_ Gripping the black plastic of the radio in one hand, the man motioned for Hope to wait, clearly not sensing his frustration at being treated like a 'civilian'. "North hills, sir. We just took out a few Meurites up here. Area seems clear."

_Meurites? Is that what-_ But before he could finish this thought, the radio sparked to life again. _"Got it. That cry a few minutes ago seems to have been a signal, the rest of the Meurites are in full retreat. I want you to take whoever you can find and get down here ASAP. There're injured civilians and we have some serious mopping up to do."_

"Yes sir!" the man barked into the radio, beckoning to his fellow officers. "C'mon, kid, let's go-"

But the man didn't get to finish the command.

_"Hope!"_ A very familiar cry made him turn around, feeling as if an enormous weight had been shifted off his chest at the voice. Lightning had slowed to a walk the moment she seemed reassured that it was actually him and not some pigment of her imagination; stopping a foot or so in front of him, she scrutinized him for a long moment, taking in the dirty marks on his clothes and the weapon hanging limply at his side. Ignoring the salute and greetings from the soldiers just behind him, he saw her let out a breath, watching some of the uncertainty in her ice blue gaze fade. Something caught his eye - with a pang of anxiety, he saw the trail of darkish blood on the left side of her face. "Light-"

But he didn't get to finish that sentence either, because she chose that moment to reach up and wrap her arms around his neck. Caught by surprise, at first, he didn't know how to react, painfully aware that they weren't alone at the moment. "You're safe," she muttered against his shoulder. Gently pulling his hands around her waist, he found a small smile threatening to spread on his face. _Sometimes... she surprises me. But it's good... it's in a good way.  
_

"Told you... I wouldn't be an idiot. I promised, remember?" He heard a soft snort, and she held onto him for perhaps another few seconds before letting go, brushing his hands off her with a certain degree of affectionate scorn. But the moment she stepped back, the same flash of scarlet in her hair caught his eye. "Light, what-"

Shaking her head slightly, she pulled him in the direction of the house. "Not now," she murmured quietly, her voice back to its usual crisp tone. "Come on."

Slightly scared at her sudden change of demeanor, he'd been about to ask her what was wrong before he caught the flicker of both pain and indecision in her aquamarine gaze, something that had been hidden in what he now knew was her initial relief and flood of emotions that he was okay. And that, quite possibly, was even more frightening than the horde of monsters that had just attacked the city; he remembered all too well the nightmares that had returned to haunt her - swallowing nervously, he didn't want to recall the Lightning that had existed the weeks after Serah's death: the lifeless, helpless shell of an individual he'd come to rely on and trust with everything he still owned. That individual still existed, sometimes after the smallest trigger that pulled right through the barriers she'd managed to somewhat reconstruct in the time since, and sometimes after one of the nightmares that was all too intertwined with her past, but she'd been getting better.

_And I was selfish enough to think that after I came back, she _was_ better._ Frustrated, Hope tried to remind himself that things had seemed that way, until... _Until this came up._ _She hasn't had one of those nightmares in a long time_, he thought miserably. _And she hasn't... she hasn't broken down in a long time either._ _Maker, please..._

Hurrying after her retreating form, he couldn't help but cast a glance back at the soldiers they were leaving behind, feeling a sick sense of irritation rise in his throat at the incredulous expressions on their faces. _She's human, she's got feelings, just like the rest of us, you_ _know,_ he thought bitterly._ She isn't always the efficient, distant individual that's the mask she wears to work. _

_Because underneath that, she's one of the most vulnerable people I know._

* * *

Wrapping her slim hands around the mug, Lightning tried not to let the ceramic tremble, but it was difficult, with Hope watching her every move. She'd disappeared upstairs the moment they'd gotten home the previous afternoon; locking herself in the bathroom and then her room, she didn't think he was fooled by her excuse that she was tired. _Scratch that. I _know_ he wasn't fooled._ But perhaps it was a sign that he knew her too well, when he hadn't pressed her nor had he demanded her to tell him if something was wrong.

And in retrospect, she was being selfish - he had every right to know and here she was, shutting him out. Her own words came back to haunt her in that moment, spoken in a rush under transparent leaves and metal in the Gapra Whitewood, those words had only been intended to have him admit what was wrong. _'Look, I can tell you're caught up on something.'_ Yes, he knew she was caught up on something, but _he_ hadn't forced her to tell him.

She'd tossed and turned all night; the ringing in her left ear finally gone, Lightning had been left with the thoughts and fears that chased each other around and around in her mind. _'You live in a damn dream world.' _She couldn't get those lines out of her head. Coupled with his taunt about who she was fighting for, she couldn't figure out what it was supposed to mean. _I know what I'm fighting for... I know what I'm fighting for. _She hadn't thought she was imagining the rage underneath the sarcastic tones and she didn't think she was imagining them now.

Giving up on sleep when the luminous green numbers of her clock read 5:18 am, she'd made her way downstairs into the slowly brightening living room, keeping the grey blanket draped around her shoulders. Tired of trying to make sense of threats, and tired of trying to assuage her own apprehension and anxieties, she'd tried to turn her thoughts elsewhere.

Unfortunately, the only other thing that stuck in her mind was her impulsivity the day before. _I... I don't regret it..._ The hug had come out of a moment of pent-up anxieties, the emotional catharsis to the fears that had been clawing at her since the attack had been announced. And in that moment of relief, she'd thought nothing of it. _It... it's just... I wish..._

The full morning sun had hit her in the face then, and she stopped trying.

"Light?"

A timid, scared voice pushed her out of her thoughts. "Are you sure... you're okay? You look like you haven't slept." _That's because... I haven't. _"Look, stop trying to hide." He sounded plaintive but appeasing, as though he was trying to coax the truth out of a stubborn kid. "I think we both know something's up."

Lowering her head, Lightning found herself staring at the warm water in the mug; fingers digging into the side of the ceramic, she could see the shadowy results of a sleepless night under her eyes. "It's... it's just... before one of them died, he said to me, '_You live in a damn dream world. It's about time you woke up to reality.'_"

Hope said nothing for a long while. "Tell me what happened," he insisted. "I won't know what to make of it... if you don't tell me what happened."

Swallowing again, Lightning found herself meeting his concerned green gaze for the first time that morning. "He killed almost everyone on the street," she began flatly, trying to remove herself from the emotional flipside of those words. "That's when I got..." Trailing off, she saw Hope glance at the ear that had been bleeding yesterday; nodding to confirm his suspicion, she took a breath before continuing. "He asked me... if I knew I held that much potential. He asked me if I knew what I could do."

"Did you tell him?" Hope's voice was low and searching.

Glancing up swiftly, she shook her head. "No. And then he asked me... who I was fighting for. He asked me if I valued anything... if I had a family, friends, or..." _Or you. _She didn't think she could bring herself to use the term he'd used.

She saw him shift ever so slightly on the sofa opposite. "And what did you say?"

"I told him I knew what I was fighting for. And then he told me we were living in a dream world. Hope, you weren't there; underneath the sick satisfaction he had for killing all those soldiers and civilians... he was angry. When he asked me who I was fighting for, if I knew I was living in a dream, he was angry." _I know it. _

She watched as he chewed through those last words. "I don't know," he finally admitted. "I don't know. But even if you hadn't told me that he sounded angry underneath all those words, I would've thought so."

"How?" she asked suspiciously.

He let out a resigned sigh. "By what he asked you. Because I asked Snow... some of those very questions. The nature... it sounds the same." Gripping the fabric of the couch, it was only then that Hope's words brought up something she'd stored in her memory - it felt so insignificant compared to what had happened, but his words brought it rushing from the back of her mind.

"Wait. Carmine... that scientist, he told me... his guess was that we humans had done something wrong." Lightning saw him raise his head in interest as he scrutinized her carefully. Taking the cue to continue, she tried to remember exactly what it was he'd said. "I don't remember all of what he said," she ventured. "But... he said something like 'Humans have been on Pulse for almost five years'. He said that nothing had gone wrong since then... but if we were getting attacked now, then we must've. He said there had to be something we've done wrong since."

"It makes sense... doesn't it?" Hope asked her quietly. "All these... 'you're not welcome here' and 'who're you fighting for'... it makes sense. They... these Meurites, they have to have a reason for attacking now, and not before. Even during the Eclipse... they didn't show up," he added quietly. She saw him flinch back a little at the mention of the Eclipse, as though he was trying to gauge her reaction to the one simple word that had very nearly cost her everything she'd owned. _Serah. _

"I don't know anymore," she finally whispered. "I'm so tired... There's a part of me wishing this is still part of all those nightmares... and that if I wake up, they'll go away." _It's stupid... and childish, but it's the truth._ A light warmth gently snaked around her shoulders, bringing the left side of her head down to lean against a comforting presence - and to her surprise, she let him.

It was awhile before he said anything, his hand flattening hers against her thigh. "I'm scared too," he finally admitted. "But sitting here... waiting, isn't going to help. We fought last time because we could... and this time, we'll fight too. The future... it's at the end of some long tunnel we can't see, but... don't give up before we've even started, okay?"

Wrenching herself away from him, an unnecessary anger consuming the delicate calm she'd had just heartbeats before, Lightning found the familiar panic rising all too quickly in her chest. "But last time... you _could_ fight! This time..." _You're just still in danger, no matter what. _

Hands trapped her arms at her sides. "Light, I know! I know... stop, just stop. Didn't I just prove to you yesterday that I _can_ take care of myself? I'm not some 'helpless kid' just as much as you're not some defenceless damsel, okay? So... stop worrying." His anger and frustration overrode hers, and she stopped fighting his grip. _I..._

"Hope... I just don't want..." And that was when Lightning knew exactly how pathetic she was, when, even now, she couldn't say the words out loud.

He shook her, once. "And you think _I_ want to? Light, there's no way to guarantee anything in battle. I think we've both gone through the pain of losing someone, and the fear of _almost_ losing someone. You don't need to say it... okay? I get it, and I swear I won't do anything dumb." _I must sound really selfish... if he has to say it to me multiple times for me to accept that. _But he was right, and however much she knew she wanted to deny it, she _knew_ he was right. _I know... he'll just hate me if I continue just trying to protect him. I know what he's saying... but I can't change how I feel - it feels like whenever I _realize_ that I cherish something, I'll try that much harder to make sure it's safe._

"I know that! I know... I know I'll have to get used to it, sooner or later. But... like I said before... don't let me down, you hear me?" Lightning didn't think she could continue.

She heard his chuckle of a response. "I won't, Light."

Extracting himself from her grip, he got up. "I'll get you something to eat, okay?"

"Not hungry," she mumbled quietly, before getting up herself. Wandering over to the patio door, pressing her lips in a thin smile to hear his amused mutter that she was lying to him, Lightning found herself stepping cautiously outside into the faint morning sun. The morning dew brushing her bare feet, she found her hands pressed to the trunk of the cherry tree before she was even aware that she'd crossed the short expanse of tufty grass. There were no petals on it anymore, so late in the summer, but the red, spiky leaves weighed down the branches like a delicate gravity, their edges brushing the skin on her shoulders not covered by the spaghetti strap tank top.

"Serah..." Taking a breath, she pressed her forehead to the rough, scratchy surface of the bark, hands slowly scraping down the tough plant material. _Please tell me I'm doing the right thing. Please tell me I'm not making the same mistakes I made with you. _Trying to keep her breathing light and steady, Lightning kept her hands pressed to the bark, fingers digging deeper in the spaces left between each piece of wood. A soft breeze tugged at her hair, causing one of the lower branches to swipe its armful of maroon leaves across her neck and chest. But the motion didn't hurt - if anything, it felt like something akin to a gentle caress. _I want everything to be okay... I _want_ to know __what the future you envisioned for me is. I just don't want to make any more stupid mistakes. I don't want this to be over and wake up staring at the ceiling, afraid of looking at everything because it's a regret I can't fix. I don't want to wake up and feel like I've failed the person who..._

_The person without whom I'm quite sure I wouldn't be standing here today if he weren't there._

"So please..." Head bowed, the quiet whisper was directed at the trunk of the tree. Lightning was quite sure Hope couldn't hear her and she didn't want him to. _It's something he'll get mad at... if he hears. _"If nothing else, keep him safe."

* * *

Raindrops on metal made an interesting noise, he mused, as Hope looked up through the skylight of the train station at the grey heavens above. Unlike the storm they accompanied, the sound they made had a steady rhythm, like they were tuned into a celestial metronome no one could hear. The sound was soothing and calming and it gave him something to focus on other than the anxiety that was eating away at him. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants, he tried to hide his discomfort, casting a sidelong glance at Lightning, who was standing beside him with an impassive expression on her face.

Shuffling his feet once, he looked down, again, at the empty track, waiting to see the metal body that would pull into the station that would take them to Eden. It unnerved him a little that most of the people waiting on the platform were in uniform - he was one of the few civilians standing around. _It's a little... It feels like I don't belong._

And perhaps he didn't, but it was a little too late now. Not that he was complaining.

Hope remembered a little too clearly what had happened two days ago, when a private had knocked on the door. He'd been listening from the doorway to the kitchen, hearing the anxious, harried voice that told Lightning her presence was required at some meeting in Eden. It had been a long time from the moment he'd heard the door close to the moment she'd made her way into the kitchen; sitting down on one of the stools by the counter in the middle of the kitchen, she'd proceeded to bury her head in her arms on the flat surface.

Utter panic had gripped him for the space of several heartbeats. "Light?"

He heard a sigh. "Sorry," came the muffled murmur. "It's just... I'm sick and tired of all of this."

Moving to sit beside her, Hope gently gripped her left hand in one of his, feeling somewhat more reassured when she didn't fight the gesture in any way. "Tired of what?"

Sliding her hands back, Lightning raised her head to sit back on the stool, crossing her arms over her chest. "You know. All this 'Meurite' business. You heard the guy, they want me at one of their pointless meetings. It's a useless debate... they're never going to agree with one another."

"What debate?"

She let out a soft snort. "It's the usual. The higher ups in the army will want to fight them... remember? To the generals in charge, it's just 'Sanctum logic' all over again. But to Pulse Management, it'll seem like they're taking things too far too soon." She gave her head a shake, pushing messy pink bangs out of her face. "What's the point of holding a meeting over it?" An irritated tone had crept into her voice.

Swallowing, Hope took a breath. "So... what do _you_ think?" he ventured.

Her aquamarine gaze found his. "What I think? I don't know," she admitted quietly. "I agree... that something should be done. That we shouldn't be waiting for them to make moves. But... I don't know... is fighting the only way we've got? It's not like we don't know how strong they are. For all I know, if we charge blindly into this, we could be sentencing our entire race to death. But on the other hand... if we don't fight... it's going to happen anyways." He noticed her fingers tightening - under the soft yellow glow of the light, her knuckles were white.

"But... there are people dying. They're civilians... not soldiers." The comment sounded lame and impotent to him, but it was the truth. Maybe he couldn't see things the way the military was -and he was all too painfully aware that once again, Lightning was sharing military matters she shouldn't be with him- , but it was a fact that couldn't be ignored. _The Purge... the Hanging Edge... Mom... That kind of thing can't be allowed to happen again._

"I know," she hissed quietly, the sudden ferocity in her voice scaring him. For a moment, she sounded like the woman he'd met -and feared- in the Pulse Vestige. "That's why... that's why even though we should fight, I think the generals are wrong. Because... the point of being a soldier isn't to win, it's to _protect_. And if we give everything into winning... what will there be left to protect?" Anger was starting to make its way into her voice as she continued. "Don't get me wrong... I can't ignore the danger they present and I'll do what I have to. But... _winning_ isn't what this is supposed to be about," she finished quietly. "I think we know that... all too well."

The intensity in her ice blue gaze startled him. And for a moment, once again, he was reminded of the soldier that had told him with an emotionless tone in her voice, that she'd volunteered to Purge herself for her sister. Except this time, the gaze was shadowed by a degree of pain that he knew wouldn't leave her, no matter what he said or did. "We can't change the past," he murmured quietly.

"I know that." Her right hand had found his of her own accord. "That was one of the things... that the military psychologist told me. It was one of the things I didn't want to accept," she said flatly, with a small self deprecating laugh. "But I was forced to, anyways. When months drags into years, and you wake up every morning feeling like a pathetic failure... it kind of sinks in." Hope opened his mouth to counter her statement, but she cut across him before he could start. "I know. I know you think that's not how I should live... and, after you came back... you were right. So... this time, I'm not going to make those mistakes," she vowed quietly.

A small smile pulling at the corners of his lips, he reached over to give her a light hug before getting up. "I'll get started on the food."

_But I won't lie. Actually_ hearing _you say I changed the way you lived your life... is all I need to know._

"Come on." A light tug at his shirt made Hope banish his memories. "The train's almost here, and Snow made me promise that we'd give him a call before getting on it." Something cold and plastic was pressed into his left hand. "You call him - he's always too happy for me."

Letting out a small chuckle, he fingered the buttons on her cell phone. "He can't be that bad."

Lightning shot him a look at he held the plastic thing up to his ear. "Maybe to you," she muttered. Smiling ruefully, Hope glanced up towards the sky again as the ringtone began to play. Snow picked up after the second ring; before he even had a chance to say a greeting, the blond had already launched into his usual banter.

"Yo! It's my favourite couple in the world!" At this, Hope saw Lightning visibly freeze, turning an irritated look at the black thing in his hand. "How's it going? Gettin' on the train?"

Hope cleared his throat loudly. "Erm, Snow... now isn't really the best time for that kind of joke."

He heard a snort come over the speakers. "Why, Sis feeling-" He cut himself off there. "Alright, alright, tell her I'm sorry. So. The train there yet?"

Glancing up at the clock hung over the station, his grip loosened a little on the cell phone. "No. Five more minutes. We'll be in Eden by six this evening... okay?"

"Got it. I'll be there to pick ya up. You two gonna crash my place tonight like we discussed, right? Not that I mind, it's about time Sis ate some proper food cooked by a hero."

"Well..." Shifting uncomfortably, Hope cast an unsure glance at Lightning, who was pointedly not looking in the direction of the phone. He couldn't tell what she was thinking, but he could make a fairly educated guess. _She's probably still caught up on his use of the word... 'couple'. _"Yeah," he finally finished.

He heard a cackle grate over the line. "Excellent. See ya in a few hours, kid. Oh, and do make sure Sis's in a good mood, will you? I'm not ready to deal with Ice Queen over here... okay?" And with that, Snow hung up, just as the train screeched into the station.

"I heard that," Lightning muttered darkly beside him, moving in front of him to climb lithely up the steps that led to the compartment doors. Tagging after her hurriedly, Hope sat down across from her in the empty seat, watching in silence the Bodhum scenery slipped away from them as the train began to move.

Placing the phone on the table between them, he saw her give it a very icy look, before leaning back against the seat and closing her eyes.

Swallowing nervously, he attempted a question that had been nagging at him for awhile, something he hadn't wanted to admit to her. "Hey... Light?"

Not opening her eyes, she let out a soft hum to show that she'd heard.

"We'll be alright... right?"

He visibly saw the breath catch in her throat. Finally, she fixed her ice blue gaze on him, the expression in the teal depths unreadable.

"...I hope so," she murmured quietly, voice tight and controlled. "We'll have to be."

* * *

**I wasn't lying when I said this was a really, really long chapter. n_n I'll leave all interpretations of what happened up to you, and so, well, we're starting to pick up the pace now! *cackles* I wonder what's waiting in Eden. *wiggles fingers* Well, I know, as it's all planned out already, but... I won't spoil the surprise. I wanted to lighten the mood there at the end with our favourite hero, Snow, but it didn't exactly turn out that way... oops. Yeah, Lightning sort of killed the happy mood there... well, Hope did. It doesn't really matter who did - it happened. ._. **

**Anyways, that's pretty much it for this time. Leave love as always, and I'll see you all soon! Chapter 9 should be up sometime this weekend if not sooner, but I'd really, really, really, like for Serah to start being nice to me in Chapter 13 of Unwritten, so we shall see.  
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**Hearts!  
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	9. Our Whereabouts

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of Revenant Wings!  
**

**Much love goes to: LawMan (and omigosh, thank you so much! I try my best. :3), Jack Hargreave (actually... that sentence was part of one of Hope's flashbacks at the train station, I'm sorry if it wasn't clear!), Berl (haha, I _wish_ I could actually write FFXIII-3... unfortunately we will have to wait and see what Square cooks up in the next year or two, but they did more or less heavily hint at it in the new FFXIII-2 Ultimania Omega), H-thar (and no worries at all, you've been amazing, and I really appreciate all your support! Your questions will be answered... very shortly, so stay tuned!), GunMetalX (to be honest, I haven't quite worked out Sazh just yet, as this is mainly going to be Light/Hope along with Snow), Lightarcana (that's because he's a _hero_!), Whistlewind Wolf (thanks for the pointer, hun, I appreciate it!), and GkMader (erm, well, the basics of the whole storyline is pretty much down... I just gotta work out how I want to get from one point to the next now n_n)! You guys are seriously amazing. _Arigatou!_  
**

**And also, much hearts go to LadyAlaska, for listening to me rant about this chapter for who knows how long... I love ya, hun. :3  
**

**So, I do apologize for the lateness of this chapter - for some reason it was kind of hard to get out and I did get stuck about a thousand words in. Luckily... after I made it past that particular scene things did get easier and I was able to finish off the last three thousand words last night. And, as you may or may not have noticed, I did put this up last night, before a plot hole in this chapter occurred to me, and I took it down again because I wanted to fix it. D: So I'm sorry for deceiving you all, and here is Chapter 9 proper!  
**

**I hope you enjoy as always! (:**

* * *

Chapter 9: Our Whereabouts

_"In accordance with the wishes of the reinstated general of the Guardian Corps, we would like to propose..."_ Lightning curled the fingers of her left hand together into a fist, nails digging into the tough leather of the glove she was wearing, resisting the urge to throw something at the general standing at the podium. _This meeting is absolutely pointless._

She'd known the moment she'd walked in and found her seat that the army and Pulse Management were going to argue all afternoon, with no end in sight. They'd disagreed beforehand -the sole point of this meeting to begin with- and she highly doubted calling all higher ranking commanding officers from across Gran Pulse was going to help them solve it. The pen in her hand was trembling, and Lightning realized she was also resisting the temptation to snap it in frustration that their 'dilemma' wasn't going to be as easy to fix as deciding their next course of action.

_There's no doubt... that the Meurites propose a problem. And that, I agree with. But throwing our entire race to stop them isn't right. Once upon a time, I might have agreed that so long as the outcome was favourable, then how we got there wasn't important. But now... I know that's not right. _Pulling in a deep breath and closing her eyes before resting a hand against her right temple, she found her fingers scraping down the smooth surface of pink hair, unconsciously gripping them tight. _Serah. _

The rough slam of a hand against a wooden surface jerked her out of those thoughts before her memories could get a better hold on her. "This is _not_ right! We can't abandon the guard in the cities to wipe out these Meurites! What if an attack came while the army's on the move?" Scanning the officials seated beneath her, Lightning quickly found the black suit of a man who was no doubt part of the higher governing levels of Pulse Management, watching as he gesticulated angrily.

"We'll just have to accept those consequences, won't we? There won't _be_ cities to protect if we don't locate where they're from and wipe them out!" snarled a general in response. She watched his hand twitch towards his weapon strapped to his back, noting with dull criticality the way the barrel of the gun gleamed in the light of the auditorium.

Someone poked her in the shoulder.

Whipping her head around, she recognized the haughty features of none other than Carmine, the scientist who'd come up with most of the theories surrounding the Meurites. He grinned at her irritated expression. "Come on, Lieutenant-Colonel, I've got something to show you."

"Aren't I supposed to be here?" she asked dryly. "Isn't this the whole point of inviting me to Eden?"

His grin widened. "I've already got you clearance." Shoving a piece of paper into her hand, Lightning looked down to see that indeed, he'd gotten her excused from the rest of the meeting. Suddenly, doubt gripped her. _What does he want?_ Shoving that indecision down her throat, she got up from the seat. _Anything's better than listening to these people shout the same arguments back and forth for Maker knows how many more hours._

Following him down the brightly-lit hallways, her footsteps echoing in their emptiness, she turned her gaze onto the scientist who was half a pace ahead of her. "So... where are we going?"

"Oh, here and there, Lieutenant-Colonel," he responded airily. "Some things of definite interest to you, for sure." Pausing beside a heavy looking door, she watched on as he typed in a passcode, gesturing that she should enter first. "This is the R&D section of the building here in Eden. We've managed to get our hands on some new data since, so why don't we have a look?"

Striding ahead of her again, he paused perhaps fifty yards down the new, dimmer hallway, eerily lighted with a crimson glow. His fingertips were pressed against the glass as she approached the glass he was standing beside. All questions died on her lips as she stared out at the sight in front of them, trying to push back the urge to throw up.

"Not a pretty sight, is it?" murmured Carmine from beside her. Shaking her head slightly, Lightning turned to stare at the scientist beside her, disgust and incredulity rising in her stomach.

"'_Not a pretty sight'?_ What kind of place is this - a research lab or some spectacle at a zoo?" She didn't want to continue looking at the sight spread out before her - she'd seen enough in his pictures and lab reports. Swallowing against the nausea at the back of her throat, she turned around, hand unconsciously reaching for her omega weapon behind her.

The man raised an eyebrow at her, noting with cool disdain at her tense stance. "You've never been in a military lab, have you? Does this sort of thing surprise you? Surely you've at least visited the Gapra Whitewood back in Cocoon."

Swallowing thickly and pulling in short, controlled breaths, Lightning forced herself to relax. Yes, she'd been to the Gapra Whitewood, and at the time, things hadn't bothered her as much as they were bothering her now. It only took her a few heartbeats to realize the crux of the matter: the new memories that had formed since that time. And it wasn't long before it occurred to her just exactly which new memory it was - the underground cave in which the demonic creatures had served the Eclipse was a little too similar to the sight before her. "Right," she breathed quietly, hastily pushing away the afterimages of those memories.

"Good." Tapping the glass window with a pen, Carmine continued. "We've analyzed some of the Meurite remains, so why don't I show you those?" Leading the way, he continued to tap the pen against his palm in an erratic rhythm as she followed him into a dimly lit office filled with screens and other gadgets alike. She watched his fingers tap the keys to one of the machines quickly, allowing one of the screens to suddenly flood with brightness. Crossing her arms over her chest, Lightning waited for the man to begin his explanation.

Noticing that he had her attention, he grinned. "Alright. Upon close examination of the Meurites, their DNA is as diverse as those from different monster species, as you might expect. But there're a couple of traits they all share in common. One is the fact that no matter which species it is, there are chains of nucleotides that are the same. We haven't quite figured out what these chains code for, because they don't seem to be present in human DNA, but we can assume that it's the traits that all Meurites share."

Glancing sideways, she noticed him watching for her reaction. _But I think... I get what he's saying. _"So... they all have a shared ability?"

"Exactly." Pausing, Lightning saw him grip his pen tighter ever so slightly. "I think we can conclude that this includes the ability to sense the magical potential of a being, human or not, which also means all of them will be able to sense exactly what to target." The words were professional and spoken matter-of-fact, but they tugged at something deep inside just the same. _Which means... all of them will go for Hope the moment they spot him. _"Now, obviously, that presents a problem, because there are certain people that will constantly be targeted." He paused; for the first time, she saw doubt flicker across his confident expression. "I think you know who I mean, which is why I have a proposal for you."

And in that instant, Lightning instantly saw his _real_ reason for calling her out of the meeting. He wasn't interested in showing her his research -and if he was, that interest paled in comparison to whatever he was going to say next-, he wanted to get her to agree with whatever he was planning.

Carmine was no fool - he saw the slight change in demeanor almost the moment it occurred. "We've designed-"

"No," she snarled. "Absolutely not." _How stupid do you think I am?_

"You haven't even heard the proposal," he countered quickly, raising his hands palm up in a motion of self defence.

Narrowing her eyes, her right hand found the handle of the omega weapon. "I don't need to. Let me guess... this has something to do with Hope, doesn't it? You really thought I was going to agree?" She saw him back away slightly as her grip tightened on her gunblade.

"You know as well as I do he's going to be one of their main targets. Don't you want to keep him safe?" Those words instantly froze any angry words she might have said, pushing her arguments back down her throat in a heartbeat. Jerking her head to the side and glancing down quickly, a frustrated sigh escaped her lips. "You do, don't you?"

_Shut up... Shut up!_ There was absolutely no doubt he was toying with her, playing with her emotions and thoughts, but she knew it was working. Because no matter how despicable it sounded to her, Lightning knew that in the end, she would have done anything to keep him safe anyways. Her frustration must have shown in some way on her face, because he continued, oblivious to her internal struggle.

"Which is why... I designed _this._" Holding up what looked to her like a sketch of golden bracelet, he waved it once or twice in the air before sliding it over to her across the table. Pinning it under her palm, Lightning held it up to eye level to scrutinize, taking in the design of the thing. Upon closer inspection, the drawing wasn't so much of a bracelet as a sort of elegant ring; designed to fit on someone's middle finger, the elaborate metal backing where the gem should have been spread backward over the back of the hand, hooking down at the sides to curl around to the palm, holding it in place. In the middle of the twisted metal, reminiscent of vines, was an empty spot that was obviously meant to hold something.

"What... the hell is this supposed to be?"

He rested a hand on the table. "That, my dear, is an Amplifier. It's designed to both amplify and conceal magical power. It's a prototype, obviously, but it should work. It's different from a manadrive, that generates its own brand of magic. This one needs no source of power but the human's magical potential."

Narrowing her eyes, she clenched the paper tightly in her left hand. "It looks like a hunk of metal to me."

Carmine chuckled. "It is. For now. The theory is that, like l'Cie, who can condense their power in an Eidolith, humans should be able to condense their power in a crystal as well. The only problem is, we haven't found a metal that's powerful enough to be used in this design. That's why I wanted to ask you and your friends for help - all of you have a high affinity for magic, you could locate the optimal metal for this. Because if this works, not only will you be able to hide your magical signature, but also use your magic at will." He cocked an eyebrow at her. "That's what you want, isn't it?"

Momentarily rendered speechless by this, Lightning found her voice the moment her nails dug into the thin piece of paper, scrunching it at her side. "I... How can you even be sure that humans _can_ condense magical potential?" The notion tore at the carefully controlled landscape of emotions inside. On one hand, she would have done anything to make sure he wasn't powerless, completely helpless against the wave of Meurites. _And on the other, if this actually works... he'll insist on fighting, which I will _not_ allow!_

"I'm not sure," he retorted lightly. "That's why we have to prove this, don't we? I was right before, wasn't I?"

Grinding her teeth together, she took a step in his direction. "I'm not your guinea pig. Neither is Hope. You got us to do the dirty work for you last time... while you sat here watching us! If you want people to do your grunt work for you, go ask someone else!"

Striding over to her, the man plucked the metal thing out of her loosened grip, before checking the time. "Oh, the Maker! I've kept you for too long, it's late," he chided, clearly making an effort to keep his voice light and airy, backing away from her anger, before his voice hardened. "Before you make a decision for your friends, you might want to discuss it with them." Gesturing her out the door, he waved the thing in her face one last time before returning down the hall to his lab with a flourish, leaving her standing there, silent and utterly torn.

Feet moving quickly towards the exit, Lightning tried to think. _I don't want him fighting... I don't want him fighting, even if we don't help Carmine collect the stuff he needs. _Those thoughts were impossible to ignore, and they were the ones she was absolutely sure she had no doubts about. There was, obviously, the notion that he'd protest, certainly, and that thought was embarrassing because she knew it would bother her. _The old Lightning would have said no, and allowed no further arguments. She wouldn't have felt guilty about treating him like a kid. _Except he wasn't a kid now, and she knew, even though it was hard to admit, that she wasn't that person anymore. Hands curling into fists, she gritted her teeth. _Because in that time, since then, he's cooked up some notion of 'protecting' me. _Angrily turning her head to the side, she tried to push that thought away. _It's not that... it's not that I'm trying to _belittle_ his feelings... it's just... He shouldn't be fighting. _

That brought her all the way back to square one.

An irritated groan making its way up the back of her throat, she didn't realize how caught up she was in those thoughts until splatters of raindrops hit her face. Looking up sharply, she noted dully that the overcast sky that had greeted them all this morning had finally decided to let down its stormy burden, turning the bright avenues of Eden into a washed out grey.

Someone poked her in the shoulder, and this time, she whipped around sharply; its manner had been so similar to Carmine's that she had fully expected the man to be running out of the building after her. Instead, Lightning found herself staring into the slightly alarmed emerald gaze of Hope, who was sheepishly holding an umbrella in one hand.

Initial surprise quickly morphing into warm embarrassment, she tried to use that to cover her earlier emotional struggle. "What're you _doing_ here?" Her tone was more sharp than she intended it to be, and she saw him visibly flinch.

A pained sigh escaped her at his reaction, and she knew from the flicker of concern in those familiar sea green eyes that he knew something was wrong. Gently pulling her forward, now sheltered from the unrelenting rain by the umbrella, she let him, hoping he knew she hadn't meant to snap by her acceptance of the gesture. _I'm sorry. _

They walked in silence for awhile; grateful for the chance to think things through as to how exactly she was going to present this to both him and Snow, it didn't even register in her mind until they passed an almost empty intersection at just how long he had waited for her outside. And for a reason she knew, but didn't feel comfortable admitting just yet, that bothered her too. "Hey..."

"Mmhm?"

"You really didn't have to come pick me up... you know. I could've gotten back to Snow's by myself." _You didn't have to wait for me only to have me snap at you for being considerate. _

A soft snort came from beside her. "I know... but I figured you'd be tired." He still sounded a little wary, as if he was unsure of what exactly her mental condition was at the moment. Lightning tried not to let that comment get to her, but it wormed its way into her innermost feelings anyways.

It was a long time before she found the inner equilibrium to reply. "Thank you."

He didn't reply, but she saw the corner of his mouth quirk in a small smile. Perhaps her words had been some sort of relief that she was okay, because she saw him take a breath before he spoke. "D'you want to talk about it?"

She didn't even question the fact that he knew something was wrong. _Something else that proves he knows me better than I think._

"I will," she murmured quietly. "Just... not now. It's better if Snow hears it too."

Concern, then something akin to alarm crossed his features. "Something's wrong, isn't it?"

Feeling the front of her boots snag on the decrepit doormat that led to the entrance of Snow's apartment, Lightning glanced up at the bright light that flooded from the lobby. "Yeah... you could say that."

* * *

Sitting down on the worn couch, Hope tried to analyze Lightning's current mental condition by her movements, something that was surprisingly easier for him to do than it sounded like - it was one of those things, he supposed, that was learned while living with her, because her temperament fluctuated so often along with her emotional stability. She could be perfectly in control of herself one moment, only to snap instantly at some emotional trigger he often couldn't place until it happened. And though she'd gotten better at hiding actual _pain _in the years since her sister's death, it was still relatively easy to tell when something was bothering her.

He knew she hadn't actually meant to snap at him - the guilt in her otherwise preoccupied aquamarine gaze had told him as much. Still, weak fingers of warmth gripped at the confines of his chest when he thought about the conversation that had broken their silence on the short walk back to Snow's apartment. _She appreciated it. She just doesn't... know how to say it._ And that, he could live with.

Snow was drumming his thick fingers on the armrest of the couch opposite impatiently, casting furtive glances at him, before his ocean blue gaze flicked back to Lightning, who was currently standing with her arms crossed by the balcony window. The question in his eyes was clear: _Is she gonna tell us?_

Giving him a small shrug, Hope got up, slowly crossing the room until he stood a few paces behind her. He watched her reflection narrow its eyes at him. Taking a deep breath, he swallowed before beginning - he still hadn't clearly gauged her mental stability and if it wasn't in its 'better days' then he could say the wrong thing quite quickly. "Hey... Light?"

Her slender frame gave a resigned sigh. "I know," she muttered gently. "I know."

"Hey, Sis. Wanna have a seat when you're telling us? It's not good if you're facing the window the whole time, y'know." Hope heard her scoff slightly at Snow's flippant tone, but made her way over to the couch just the same; sitting down on its edge before proceeding to bury her face in her hands. The blond brawler cast a worried glance over her pink head at him, and he swallowed again. _He knows her well enough to know that that isn't a good sign. _Apprehension twisted its claws into his stomach. _Whatever it is... it's not good._

"I met with that scientist again today," she finally murmured in a low voice. "Carmine. During the meeting, he called me out, and he showed me..." She trailed off before looking up, gaze fixated on the blank wall near the ceiling opposite. As if to steel herself, she took another breath. "He showed me something he made. He claimed with the right use, if he had the right materials to prove it would work, it could allow humans to use magic. Not like a manadrive," she clarified quietly. "But like..."

"L'Cie?" offered Snow.

Hope heard him crack his knuckles.

"Well," he continued. "That doesn't sound too bad." He saw Lightning shoot the blond a venomous look, before pointedly glancing back at him. Catching the cue, Snow cottoned on quickly. "Oh. I get it." Something flickered across his face, something that Hope couldn't pinpoint exactly, before he gave a light cough. "That's it?"

Whatever Snow had made of the revelation, Hope wasn't concerned about. What he _was_ concerned about was how it had affected her. Reaching out to lightly touch her on the shoulder, he felt a little more confident when she didn't flinch nor make a move to move away. "Light?"

She looked back quickly before turning away, but not quickly enough for him to miss the troubled expression in the familiar teal gaze; and suddenly, he knew what this was about. "You're not... Look," he started quietly. "It's okay. I don't mind. I _want_ to fight, if I can." _Maker, please let her take this the right way._

"No!" She cut across him so sharply that he was caught off guard for a heartbeat. "Hope-"

But this time, he didn't let her finish before trapping both her hands under one of his, forcing her to look at him. "Light, I thought we already agreed about this," he stated plainly, hating the way his voice sounded so childish, almost like he was begging her for something.

Watching pain, and then doubt cloud her expression, he didn't let go of her, feeling somewhat more gratified when she relaxed a little. "I know," she admitted, voice barely audible. "It's just..." And this time, despite the fact that he knew that Snow was only a few feet away from them, he pulled her forwards until her forehead rested against his shoulder. Alarm jolted him for perhaps a heartbeat when he realized how heavily she was breathing, until he heard her take in another deep breath, knowing she was trying to calm them.

And despite the situation, a small smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. "I won't let you down, alright?"

* * *

Hands pressed against the cool plane of the window, Lightning tried to use it to assuage the rising inner storm that had only been mildly reassured by Hope's calm acceptance of the revelation of Carmine's new invention and his subsequent promise. _I know... I know I promised. But that doesn't mean... it has to feel right to me. Because it doesn't... It never has and it never will. _Listening to the sound of the shower starting, she hoped that by the time Hope got out of the bathroom she would have composed herself enough to shelve the insecurities that clung to her that he didn't want her to feel. _Whether you like it or not... it's how I feel. _

"Hey, Sis?" Snow's gruff voice came from behind her somewhere. "Look... I know how you feel, aight?" The blond brawler came to a stop beside her, gazing down at the brightness of Eden beneath them through the glass. She'd been about to snap at him before the obvious answer came like a painful blow to the gut. _Serah._

Not waiting for her to say something, he ploughed on. "It's hard, knowing that the person you care about wants to fight. And I know... that you can't lose him, in more than one way," he rectified quickly. "We all know that. But... you can't protect him forever. You can't expect him to take your protection forever either. You might have had reason four years ago, but... it's like he said himself. He's not a kid anymore, and the more you try to shield him, the more he's going to end up hating you."

He cast her a wary glance when she said nothing to his new offering. When Snow spoke again, his voice was half its original volume. "When Serah wanted to fight... I had to let her. It was for her safety and ours, and I knew she hated standing by while _we_ fought. I know you hated seeing her fight... but when she wanted to help... what could we do?"

"What we could do?" she seethed, sudden anger taking control over her delicately balanced emotional state so quickly that she saw Snow take a visible step back. "We let Serah fight... and look how it turned out! I don't want... I don't want..." The fury fading as quickly as it had come, it left her helpless against its backlash as she slowly sank to the floor. _I don't want to go through it... all over again. I don't even think..._ What she didn't want to think was the fact that she knew things would never get better if she lost him.

She heard Snow heave a pained sigh. "I know," he stated quietly, voice choked. "She's never coming back. And Maker, there're so many times I wished we could have done things over... I would've given _anything_ to live that day over, and change it all. But we can't. And so... because she fought for this world... I'll continue that. I'll continue and finish what she started."

His heavy footsteps faded away, and after a few heartbeats, Lightning heard the unmistakeable sound of a door close. Even though Snow had gone, she didn't move from her position on the floor, trying to process the enormity of the words that he'd said, their weight crushing and overwhelmingly painful. _Serah..._

Fingers gripping the tough smoothness of the carpet, she cast a glance back in the direction of the bathroom door.

_I just want a world... where she could have been safe. Where you could be safe.__ And if I have to fight for it... then so be it._

* * *

The rumbled murmurings of the meeting hall was no different from the day before as Lightning picked her way to her seat near the back of the auditorium, feeling slightly more calm than she had the night before. For the first time in awhile, a very long 'awhile', no nightmares had plagued her sleep, which she had found odd, considering the enormity of the fact that she'd had to accept, but she embraced it. _I can't change it. I can't run back and tell him... no. So this time... I'll have to do better. If I don't want him to share Serah's fate... I'll _have_ to do better. _The sentiment was both impossibly painful and strangely empowering, oddly enough. _I'll have to do better. _

Fully prepared to sit through long hours of arguments once again, she felt a stirring of something else prickle the already present sense of unease when she spotted Telicyra Carmine amongst the generals sitting in the front row, whispering hurriedly. She had no idea what he was doing here, and from her spot she couldn't hear what he was saying, but the gut instinct told her it couldn't be anything good. Those feelings were confirmed when he shot her a puzzling stare, one that intensified into something akin to coldness when she gave no indication that she was going to give an agreement to his proposal. _I know... I know we agreed, Hope. I know we agreed that you'd fight with us. But... I didn't agree to let you help him develop that thing, whatever it is. For all I know, it's not what he claims it to be.  
_

That, at least, was an argument she'd won over breakfast this morning. Snow hadn't trusted the guy any more than she had, and she'd been happy for his support of that fact; it helped her steel her convictions. _He can go get his theories proved by someone else. Hope doesn't need to be dragged into this... and if he is, it'll be over my dead body.  
_

She barely heard the words of the announcement that began the meeting, lazily drawing senseless shapes on the pad of paper in front of her with her pen. It was by chance that a flash of motion caught the corner of her eye; she shifted from her relaxed position when she saw Carmine mount the podium, feeling a surge of apprehension suddenly grip her. Suddenly glad for the steady weight of the gunblade stuffed behind her against the chair, Lightning felt her right hand tighten on the pen. His first words were indistinct, washed over by the sound of disinterested murmuring coming from all around her.

"In the light of my research, I've discovered the reason why these Meurites are coming after us."

That statement was greeted with almost instant total silence.

In that moment, Carmine raised his head, locking his steel grey gaze with her own. And in that moment, she knew. Perhaps it was her years of reading intentions in people who thought she was too young to be taken seriously, but in that moment, she knew that he was lying. Why, she didn't know, but she had the nasty feeling she was about to find out. _And if he doesn't know why... why is he bothering to announce it?_

"There are former l'Cie amongst us."

That was greeted with instant pandemonium as yells and shouts erupted around the auditorium. Taking advantage of the momentary confusion, Lightning turned to bolt for the exit, her mind racing as several million thoughts and curses suddenly teemed in her mind. _Shit... that bastard just... Shit. Shit!_ Calculating quickly in her mind, she gave herself fifteen, twenty minutes to get back to Snow's house and out of town, before the army would no doubt be on their trail.

She only hoped she would make it on time.

* * *

**Interesting twist there... no?**

**I had a harder time with Lightning this chapter... no idea why, but for some reason getting through how she'd react in the given situations and how she'd _feel_ in those situations was a little harder to envision, so I really hope she came off right. D:  
**

**Heh, well... *licks lips* I won't say anything for the time being, but I'm fairly sure you guys all know what the end of Chapter 9 entails, haha! So, I will leave it at: leave love as always, and I'll see you guys soon! Hopefully Chapter 10 won't take me too long... perhaps by this weekend, at the latest Monday, I think. *nods*  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	10. Unbreakable Chains

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_! :D **

**For once, I'm proud of myself for getting this done early - it felt like Chapter 9 flowed right into Chapter 10, and _most_ of this wasn't a struggle to get out at all. Well, the ending segment was, but that was to be expected. n_n Much love goes to H-thar (heehee... stay tuned!), Lieutenant General Sora Hikaru, Lightarcana, GKMader (yeah... like Light said... it's just one of those things that aren't meant to be forgotten, ever. D:), Jack Hargreave (well, to be honest, I didn't really like how Hope was portrayed in XIII-2, so, I'm trying for my own take on an 'older Hope' n_n), and Mylaervain (and nope, you can't. But I hope I did okay - he wasn't meant to be likeable to begin with, and I hope I got that right!)!  
**

**Undoubtedly, the last segment of this chapter is dedicated to my awesome _LadyAlaska._ Don't let Fang keep trolling you, hun; remember, she was always supposed to be jelly. *cackles*  
**

**Enjoy as always!**

* * *

Chapter 10: Unbreakable Chains

Heartbeat driving her forward through the streets, Lightning felt the initial rush of adrenaline pushing her faster even though a stitch was beginning to form in her left side; sticking to the side streets to keep up some pretense of caution, she knew it wouldn't be long before the army would be on their trail. How long, exactly, they had left, she didn't know - presumably, until the moment Carmine disclosed the fact that they had once been l'Cie to the generals. _Why... Why the _hell_ would he..._

But inside, she knew the reason why: it was because they hadn't given him what he wanted. _Maybe I should've been more tactful in dealing with him... but it's too late now. We can't go back. I can't undo the past, so... the only thing to do is to go forward. And right now, we have to get out of this town._

It was funny that she felt no qualms towards what they had to do; no prickle of doubt or uncertainty plagued at her decision. Inside, she could only find an unnatural calm and a clear sense of purpose; it only took her a few heartbeats set in rhythm with the sound of her boots making contact with the still relatively empty concrete streets to realize why. _Because I'm only ever awkward... or uncertain... when it comes to people. When it came to fighting... there was never any doubt about that. I never questioned the way I fought. Even when I said I'd never fight again... I was trying to hide. Because, in the end, it turned out that _fighting_ was the only thing that kept me going. And so..._

Gritting her teeth as she skidded to a stop at the closed door of the lobby to Snow's apartment, it took her all of three seconds to realize she wouldn't be able to get in - the front door was, undoubtedly, locked. "Shit," she cursed under her breath, all too aware of the fury that would be unleashed upon them if they didn't get out in time. Experimentally, she wrenched the handle of the door: it didn't budge, not that she had expected it to. Pulse hammering away in her throat, for a moment, she actually considered breaking down the door. Her hand had just closed on the handle of the gunblade behind her legs when the elevator inside pinged, and a harried looking businessman strode to the door and opened it from the other side, hardly giving her a second glance as she slipped inside.

In the closed confines of the elevator, Lightning slumped back against its wall, trying to calm her erratic breathing and ease the stitch in her side; raking back strands of sweaty pink hair, her right fist found the wooden door of Snow's apartment almost as soon as the elevator doors slid open. Standing outside, slightly hunched, she heard shouts before slow, shuffled footsteps came to open the door, revealing Snow's annoyed, then alarmed, face as he took in her expression, Hope hovering at his shoulder. "Sis, what- Why're you back?"

Closing a hand on the cloth of his trench coat, she made an attempt to drag him out. "We've gotta leave. I don't have the time to explain. We have to go... _now_," she rasped. A mix of emotions from alarm to uncertainty flickered across his expression before it cleared, a grim determination replacing the confusion.

"Got it. C'mon, kid, let's go!"

She ignored Hope's questioning look as Snow pulled the door shut, leading them down the deserted hallway to the side staircase. "Less conspicuous," the blond commentated. Slipping out the side of the building, Lightning didn't question Snow's choice of the back alleyways as their quick steps made small splashing noises in the puddles left by last night's storm. "Out of the city, you mean, Sis?" he hollered over his shoulder as they ran; Hope's quick breathing was just behind hers as they swerved to avoid a garbage container.

Nodding, she caught his thumbs up, before instinct twisted her stomach once again, forcing unease into her mind. "Stop," she hissed quietly, hand reaching once again for her weapon. _Something's wrong. I know it. How did they find us so quickly? _Closing her eyes, pulling in a rough breath, it took her a few heartbeats to discern the source of her discomfort. "We're being followed."

"What?" Snow's angry hiss came from a few feet ahead of her. "How d'you know?"

Drawing her gunblade, Lightning gave her head a small jerk in the direction behind them. "They're soldiers." _I'd know those tactics anywhere. I was taught them. _

"What do we do?" Hope's whispered question was just behind her left ear. A small splash came from just ahead of them as Snow pulled his hands back into fists.

"Isn't it obvious? We fight them and then, we leave." She heard the crack of his knuckles, before a new sound caught her attention: the click of a gun. Glancing up sharply, she found the scope of a sniper rifle trained on them. Adrenaline seized her instincts in a fraction of a heartbeat - pushing Hope to one side roughly, the bullet was driven into the ground where they'd been just a second before. Drawing up the omega weapon in one fluid motion, she aimed the bullet in the direction of the weapon, hearing the satisfactory frustrated yell as the soldier's gun was knocked out of his hands.

Lightning wasn't really all that surprised to hear several more gun clicks that followed the retaliation to the attempted snipe.

* * *

Hands flat against the wall he'd been pushed against, Hope raked back silver bangs with one hand to see a sniper perched on the rooftop of a building that lined the alleyway. Irrational fear gripping his insides, he swallowed to think of what might have happened if Lightning hadn't pushed them out of the way.

As things were, he could see four soldiers running down the alleyway after them, weapons drawn. "Stay out of this," came her low mutter. "You're not a trained soldier, and you can't fight them with just a boomerang." All forms of protest at the protective stance she took just in front of him died on his lips as she raised her weapon to shoulder height, aiming it directly at the forehead of the lead soldier. "Why are you attacking us?" Her demanding tone didn't sound curious nor confused, and with a sudden twist of dread Hope realized it was because she _knew_ why. _She's trying to buy time. _

The one in the lead paused, signalling to his squad to do the same. "Ma'am, we have orders to bring you and your friends in for questioning in regards to the possibility of you aiding the Meurites." Hope caught a muffled curse drop from Snow's lips on his other side. _Is this what..._

Fingers balling into fists at his side, he found himself staring at the masks of the soldiers who had come after them. _They're familiar... just like four years ago, when we were on the run from PSICOM. _And suddenly, those echoes felt more than just a memory.

"Bullshit," he heard Lightning swear at them, raising her weapon to attack height. He saw her finger tighten on the trigger.

The soldiers had seen it too, because they chose that moment to attack. Dodging the initial round of bullets, she turned to sweep the serrated edge of the omega weapon at the squadron leader, catching him at the base of the throat. Snow's fist met the cheek of another; the resounding _crack_ grated in his eardrums a little too harshly. Lightning sent a boot in the face to the last one, kicking the gun away, before whipping around to grasp his arm in her steel grip. "Come on, let's go!"

Following Snow as the brawler once again took the lead through the winding alleys of Eden, Hope found himself running at her side; a quick glance in her direction showed the fiery determination in her ice blue gaze shadowed with a degree of... _Doubt? Pain?__ Regret?_ He couldn't place it, and he knew from the look on her face it wasn't the time to ask.

_But Light... Light's not the sort of person to just act on impulse, because everything she does has some sort of rationale behind it. So why... _

That was the moment his mind recognized the shadowed emotion on her face that hadn't been there when she'd banged on the door, telling them all to run. _Why does she look... _scared_?_

* * *

Eden's east gate came into view perhaps half an hour later, grey walls visible beyond the last few buildings that stood between them and the wilderness of Gran Pulse. Noticing Hope's heavy breathing, she paused for a moment, leaning back against a wall. "Take five," she breathed out, signalling for Snow to stop.

For a few long moments, there was only the sound of breathing as everyone tried to catch their breath. Relishing the feel of the cool brick against the sweaty back of her neck, Lightning closed her eyes, glad that the skies were still overcast and there was no sun to make the day hotter than it had to be. Closing her eyes also helped, because that meant Hope couldn't continue to dissect her thoughts and feelings from her expression.

The initial determination to get them all out of here had morphed into doubt sometime between leaving Snow's apartment and coming into contact with the soldiers, chipping away at what had been a collected exterior. Insecurities akin to panic seizing control of her mental processes, she tried -fruitlessly- to push them away. _What if I'm doing the wrong thing again? Out there... in Gran Pulse, it could be worse than what the military might do. What if..._ She hadn't wanted to admit, much less say out loud, what could happen to them out there. She hadn't wanted to admit she was scared of that prospect. _Thinking about it... three former l'Cie with highly developed -dormant- magical potentials... we'll be walking targets for those Meurites. And with the army on our tail..._ Her right hand clenched into a fist, but it didn't help - it didn't assuage that fear of the unknown, of what might come to be. _Shit! What if I do the wrong thing... all over again?_

A rough hand gripped her shoulder tightly. "Hey, Sis. No room for doubt, all right?"

Snow. Shaking his hand off her roughly, she turned to give him an unsuccessful glare, noting with dry disdain at his acknowledgment of her silent appreciation of his support. "...Right," she ascertained quietly, trying to take his reassurance into her current mental state, trying to assimilate it into her thoughts. "Come on, the gate shouldn't be too far away from here. Let's get outta here, and find a place to stay for the night before..." _Before I have to explain things. _

Scratching the back of his bandanna, Snow gave her a curious glance. "Won't we get caught going through the civilian gate?"

That, at least, was something she had an answer to. "There's a military gate not too far from the ordinary one. It's used, well, mainly by soldiers, I guess, but I was given the passcode to it when I got here in case something happened. We should be able to get out through there."

She felt a warm hand slip lightly against hers; letting out a soft breath of acknowledgment and appreciation, she gave her head a small shake in Hope's direction. "Let's go," he murmured quietly.

Taking the lead, Lightning wove through the spaces in the buildings, keeping the pace fast but consciously aware that neither Hope nor Snow had her level of stamina, slowing to a brisk walk when the perimeter of the grey wall that surrounded Eden was only a few feet away. The civilian gate was some hundred yards down to her left; keeping to the side of the thick concrete, the military exit couldn't be more than half a mile to her right, slightly more uphill than the civilian one.

Picking her way through scraggly bushes that hadn't been cleared away from the construction of the new capital, it was perhaps twenty minutes later that the entrance to the military exit came into view. Luckily, she couldn't see any soldiers guarding its exterior; perhaps they were inside the exit set into the ten meter thick wall, or... _Maybe the generals in Eden think this exit is so exclusive that civilians won't be bothered. _She certainly hoped it was the latter, at any rate.

"This is it," she hissed behind her. "On your toes." Flipping the omega weapon into sword mode, just in case, she held it at her side in attack position. But no guns came to point at her forehead the moment she stepped into the shadow of the gate; slipping quickly to the heavy metal gate set cut the concrete wall, she spotted the keypad set into the stone beside it. Footsteps behind her announced the arrival of both Hope and Snow.

"So, no soldiers here, eh?" Snow's low growl was at her shoulder. "You know the passcode for this, Sis?"

Pulling in a breath, hating the stale, damp air of the place, she nodded. "Hopefully." Holding her breath, Lightning poked the screen until it came to life. Pulling up the memory from the back of her mind, the ten digit passcode suddenly seemed too long - a mistype could lead to an instant alarm that would broadcast their general location to just about any soldier within earshot. _They better not have changed it since this morning..._

And to her eternal relief, the metal doors of the gate slowly slid back to reveal the untamed wilderness of the Yaschas Massif, flora sprayed in damp raindrops that hadn't evaporated from the rainfall the night before. "Let's go!"

The climb down the mountainside was steep; with no real trails to find sure footing in, Lightning found every precarious footstep a danger, as if the next would send her slipping down the side of the cliff. Though the sky was overcast and gave no accurate indication of time, she guessed that it had to be late afternoon, if not early evening. Perhaps two hundred shaky, slippery steps later, Lightning found herself near the foot of the cliff, the dark valley ahead twisting into shadows where the faint sunlight didn't reach. "Let's stop for a bit," she suggested quietly, noticing the fatigued look on Hope's face.

"Alright, time for a break!" Jumping down the last ledge to land beside her, Snow poked around the Gran Pulse landscape, bending back more than just a few fronds of plant life with his large hands. "Hey hey, Sis, here's a cave," he called after perhaps fifteen minutes. "Wanna rest here for tonight? Just till we figure out a game plan?"

Striding forwards, Hope tailing after her, she scrutinized the entrance to the small cavern. Half hidden by flora, it would be almost invisible in the darkness of night. _And easy to defend, if the army comes looking. _Shrugging in assent, she let Snow and Hope poke around the cavern while she stood guard. A cold wind had begun to blow by the time they were done looking through it, Snow having assured her that there were no monsters inside. It would be dark soon, but she didn't want to risk a fire. _If the light doesn't bring the soldiers, the smoke will._

Sitting back from the mouth of the cave, resting her chin on her knees, it was awhile before someone broke the silence. "Hey... Light? So... what happened today? Why did we have to run?" Hope's tentative, scared voice was suddenly too close to her as she felt his warm presence settle beside her. Slowly taking in another breath, she tried to let the knowledge of his presence comfort her, but tonight, it wasn't working as well as she would have wanted.

"Carmine," she hissed darkly. "He told the whole assembly hall that we were l'Cie, basically." She heard the collective intake of breath behind her, sharing their anger.

_"What?_ That _son_ of a-" Snow cut himself off. "Why the _hell_ would he do something like that?"

Fixing his ocean blue gaze with her teal one, Lightning took in his shocked and angry expression. "Because I told him we wouldn't help him... essentially. This is his way of getting revenge, I suppose," she muttered bitterly. Letting out a frustrated groan, she buried half her face in her hand, gripping the pink locks in her fingers. "I should've been more tactful." _And if I had been, maybe we wouldn't be here._

"So... his goal was to get us out of there?" Hope's quiet insight caught her attention, and she raised her head slightly. "It's the only explanation that makes sense, isn't it? He knew that the moment he revealed we were l'Cie that the army would be suspicious of us, at the very least, because it would look like we were attracting all the Meurites to the cities. But if he wanted us to help him... why did he make it so we'd leave?"

An insight she honestly hadn't considered, Lightning found that she didn't have a competent answer to that yet. "I don't know," she admitted quietly. "But... from what I've seen of the guy, he doesn't do anything without a purpose. Maybe this didn't work out the way he wanted it to, but he must've had a reason for telling them all..." Left hand curling into a fist, her nails dug into the palm of the glove. "I just wish I knew why."

"Well," yawned Snow, stretching his arms. "No sense in worrying about it now. We're out, and we can't go back. Might as well make the best of it." He shot her a critical look. "So. What're we gonna do now? We're out here whether we like it or not."

She had an inkling of _that_, at the very least_. __We need to find out more... about this whole Meurite business before we even have a chance of knowing where to start. _"We need to go to Paddra," she said slowly, watching for the reaction on their faces. When there was no open indication of protest, she continued. "Carmine mentioned he developed all his theories from old Paddran legends. I... I want to see this for myself." _I have to know... if they're truth or lies. And _I'll_ be the judge of that. Not him._

She heard a soft hum of agreement from Hope, as Snow got up to stretch his back. "That's better than wandering around with no goal," he grinned. "I'm in." Cracking his knuckles before settling down again, the blond gave her another look. "Should I take first watch, or will one of you?"

"I'll do it," she murmured quietly. _I need some time to think. Alone._

It wasn't a long time before Snow's loud snores filled the still night air. The faint outline of the moon had managed to peek its way through still-lingering clouds, casting an ominous silver light on the plant silhouettes as she stared out at the untamed Yaschas Massif landscape. _How did everything get out of control so quickly?_ It had only been a few days ago that she'd sat watching the moonlight in one of her sleepless nights from the window of her room; a soft groan escaping her lips, Lightning wrapped her arms around her legs, gripping the skin of her knees tightly under her fingernails. _What if..._

A soft warmth shyly brushing the back of her shoulder, Lightning half turned to see Hope sitting down beside her, a guarded expression in his emerald gaze. "You should be asleep," she chided quietly, unsure if she wanted him here or not.

"And you should stop worrying so much," he retorted lightly, still carefully not looking at her directly.

The hand that he was gently touching curled into a sudden fist as the same anger from last night suddenly wracked her frame. "How d'you expect me to stop worrying? Hope-"

She didn't get a chance to finish that sentence, because he took that moment to pull her into a hasty, almost forced, embrace. And at first, she wanted to push him away from her, still not quite sure if she wanted his prescence, before his steady heartbeat inexplicably calmed hers. _Almost like... an instant reflex to him. _"Light... stop. Just... stop." Hope's tone was gentle, but firm; relaxing a little against the grip, she bowed her head slightly; staring at her knees, pink bangs dropping over her eyes. "Stop worrying. It'll be okay... You didn't do anything wrong."

Turning her head back a little, she fixed him with what she knew had to be a pathetic glare. "You say that now. What if something goes wrong... and we can't fix it?"

Pained frustration clouded his familiar emerald gaze, and she heard him give a quiet, restrained sigh. "You're so worried," he began hesitantly, "about doing the 'right thing'. And it's... it's not wrong to think that way. But sometimes... the 'right thing' isn't... it's not obvious, and it won't be... until it happens." A pained, almost wistful tone entered his voice as he continued. "No one makes all the right decisions all the time... and that's okay. Remember? I though 'Operation Nora' was the right decision to make... and it wasn't. But it wasn't until I was faced with that moment... did I realize it was wrong."

Lightning didn't realize her hands were pulling at his locked near the base of her throat until she felt Hope flinch beside her. "I know... I know that! But... We don't have room for mistakes this time." _I don't... I _can't_ lose someone else because of decisions I made. _

"So keep going," he said quietly beside her. "Someone once told me... 'to have something to fight for'. Isn't... There's something for you to fight for _right here._ So... stop worrying about how things will turn out, and just focus on what you have to do... okay?"

Silence consumed the night air as Hope finished; sitting in silence, Lightning tried to make his words something to focus on. It wasn't easy - doubt and memories still crowded at the edges of her consciousness like rabid animals that wouldn't let go of her, but..._ But I have to try. Somewhere inside... the part of me that's still the soldier I'll never stop being, I know he's right. _It was only that the part of her that experienced emotions, the part of her that had made a reappearance since her sister's death, stopped her. Grappling with it, she tried to calm her emotions, tried to _think_ rationally. _I won't lie... not blowing past life on auto-p__ilot has given me more than I could've hoped for... But it's also changed who I am. _

She couldn't help but think that letting Hope in was part of that as well.

_I don't know... I still don't know if it's good or not, but I can't stop thinking like that now. And that... I think is one of the things that the psychologist was right about. There's no going back. Whether I like it or not, I can't undo the changes that've happened. So... I can only take things... and go forwards._

And there was also no doubt that hearing _him_ quoting _her_ unfurled something warm inside; unfamiliar, for sure, but in no way unpleasant, and it was with a little hesitant embarrassment that Lightning realized she wasn't as quick as she should have been in shoving it away to make sure that it didn't take another bite at her carefully controlled emotional equilibrium at present.

"Thank you," she finally breathed out quietly, releasing her clawing fingers from his hands. _And not just for this... I'd be a wreck... if you weren't here, if you_ hadn't_ been there._That thought chained right into the next, but instead of scaring her, pulling at the very inner of the place where she stored all her emotions, it was something to focus on. _I can't let you down as well._

A thin smile pulling at the corners of his mouth unexpectedly, Hope chuckled.

Narrowing her gaze, she gave him a suspicious look. "What's... so funny?"

"Nothing," he amended quickly. "It's just..." Pausing, she caught the uncertain look in his eyes. "You used to be the one making all the decisions. I-I'm not saying that's a bad thing... it's just... you're not that person anymore," he finished quietly, carefully looking away from her, as though he was scared what of her reaction to those words was going to be.

Her own wane smile pulling at her lips, she thought she knew what he meant. _He's not... wrong._ "No," she affirmed quietly. "I'm not. It's not that I don't _want _to be... but ever since..." Pain pulled at the back of her throat, igniting a fire that burned the words as they came, but Lightning knew she'd gone too far to stop now_, _realizing with a pang of self-consciousness that there was a part of her that _wanted_ to get it out, to be understood. _Proof... of how much he's changed who I am. _"Ever since Serah died... I've had to reconsider. Because... going through life, focussed on just your goals, and not how you get there... you might as well be not living at all. Because there _are _things that happen: unforeseeable consequences, and unpredicted surprises alike." Noting the fond acknowledgment in Hope's eyes, she let out a soft snort before she continued. "That's one of the things I think the military psychologist was right about... life goes on, whether you want it to or not, and whether you foresaw it or not."

Letting out a breath, Lightning clasped her hands together in her lap as she bit the inside of her lip. But strangely, instead of feeling awkward or embarrassed about letting it all out, now that she'd actually said it, it felt like some weight had been removed from her shoulders, a pressure that had pulled her down like gravity, and it took her a few heartbeats to figure out why. _Just... another way I've changed.__ The old Lightning wouldn't have dreamed of letting anyone else know how she felt... and here I am, explaining myself to him._

A light hand brushed her cheek; turning her head sharply, she scrutinized his expression, unsure of how to place the unfamiliar expression in his gaze. "And it _is_ right," Hope murmured quietly. "I'm just glad... you think so too."

Letting out a huff, she pushed his hand away roughly before turning away, sudden pain gripping her chest. _It's not that... I think so. It's because, just like so many other things, it was something that I've had to accept over the last few years. _"Light?" She didn't think she was missing the concern in his tone.

"...Sorry," she apologized quietly. "It's just..." _It's just s__omething else that hurts that I don't want to burden you with. In some ways, you're still a kid... You've got enough on your plate without worrying about me. _

"I know," he stated quietly. "I know it still hurts... but... promise me... you'll keep going?" A pained, almost _childish_ tone had entered his voice, reminding her painfully, once again, of the age disparity between them, as Hope's arms dropped from her shoulders.

Lightning lifted her head to open her mouth to reply, only to find that he'd gotten up; climbing to her feet accordingly, she figured that what she wanted to say was probably better said if they were on the same eye level. That in itself was a little disappointing: standing, her nose was roughly level with his jaw, and she still had to tilt her head up to look at him in the eye.

A rueful smile decorated his features; perhaps he'd noticed her continuing disgruntled irritation at the new height difference between them. Taking another deep breath before opening her mouth, she tried to use it to calm the suddenly tumultuous emotions raging inside. _Maker, please let this come out right._ "I'm pretty sure... I promised that a long time ago," she remarked wryly, noting with hastily suppressed relief, for the first time that day, a sort of amusement as his slightly surprised expression morphed into one that she knew all too well.

_And_ this..._ is a promise I intend on keeping._

* * *

**Heh... well... this was originally intended to be a much more intense HxL moment, but I liked how Lightning ended it there, so sorry, Hope, you don't get to kiss her this time around. *sighs* I know you're probably hating me at the moment, but oh well. **

**Anyways, so yes, we leave for Paddra in Chapter 11! Things should be picking up soon - I don't want to say too much too soon, but... I will say that we are approaching the _single_ defining moment in this fic very soon. *wiggles fingers* You guys will have to stay tuned and see!  
**

**I have no idea when the next chapter will be up, though; sometime next week for sure, but I'd like to spend the rest of the weekend working on Chapter 14 of _Unwritten_. Wednesday looks like a good day though - I'll make that my goal for Chapter 11. Leave love as always, and I shall see you guys soon! :D**

**Hearts!  
**


	11. Unrewarded Souls

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**I do apologize-this chapter was one day later than promised; something came up and I didn't have the time of yesterday afternoon to finish up the last 1,700 words of this chapter. So I got up early today, and set my little fingers to work. :3**

**Thanks and love go to Jack Hargreave (and thank you for that pointer! I've been kind of obsessed with moving the storyline forward, but I'll keep it in mind!), Berl, H-thar (hun, you're a genius. I think this chapter'll answer a lot of what you said, so stay tuned!), Lightarcana, and GKMader (and awh, thanks!). You guys are really awesome, and I can say sincerely that I really, really appreciate all the support I've gotten so far, whether you review or favourite/alert me! You guys honestly make my day.**

**And without further ado, I present Chapter 11. Enjoy as always! (:**

* * *

Chapter 11: Unrewarded Souls

Paddra was no less abandoned than Hope remembered it to be, some four years ago. The towering, rusting buildings were as decrepit as they had been in his memories, the wind whistling through the ancient concrete, causing scraps of metal to slither over the worn cement surfaces. The disquiet bothered him a little, but he wasn't going to show it: _No need to make Light worry more than she already is._ Despite the 'talk' they'd had a couple nights ago, he hadn't noticed any real change in her tense demeanor, and briefly, he wondered if it was even worth the time it took to try to reassure her. _She's going to worry... whether I like it or not, isn't she?_

And perhaps that was a defeat he'd have to accept – he could as easily change that as change his _own_ nature, he supposed. _I can't really ask her to change hers when I know... no matter what she says, she won't change how I feel. That _had been something he'd been uncomfortable in discussing with her, and it wasn't just because he knew it would be a waste of time arguing with her. His foot nudged a piece of scrap metal, faded Pulsian alphabet too marred and weathered to even begin to decipher.

The scratches on the smooth metal uncannily reminded him of something else – the protective stances Lightning constantly adopted when she was with him, the ones that left her vulnerable and exposed. He hadn't exactly forgotten the moment the soldiers back in Eden had caught up to them, and neither would he forget how she'd almost instantly moved in front of him. A ripple of unexpected, uncalled-for anger suddenly unfurling somewhere deep inside, Hope found his hands tightening into fists at his side. _It's not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, it's that I don't _want_ her to constantly protect me!_

As much as he could feel touched by the intent of those actions, as much as it was accompanied by an untimely warmth, that same warmth was balanced with an equal, almost irrational anger – the sentiment that he _didn't want_ to be protected. _How does she think I'll feel if she gets hurt because of me?_ That was something he didn't think he could express to her without getting into an argument – much less make her understand – and he knew all too well what an argument could do to the overall morale at the moment. _Why doesn't she understand?_ he thought morosely. _I want her to be safe as much she wants me to be safe. _

That was something else, while he didn't think the point was _lost_ on her, something she clearly didn't prioritize in her mental agenda – _his_ emotional well-being if something happened to her. _Light's just… the kind of person that always considers other people's well-being before her own… But when it comes to how _other people_ feel if she does something self-sacrificial… she just doesn't consider it when she's making her decisions._

Foot kicking a piece of broken, worn concrete a little too hard, he saw Snow lift his head in the stiffening autumn breeze as the fragment of stone tumbled over the side of a fallen building, disappearing into the surface of a shallow pool, the unbroken still surface suddenly rippling out in rocking waves. _Oops._ Shifting over slightly on the lichen-grown cement, he caught a flash of the distinctive red cape in the distance, poking through the rubble just beneath the Paddran Archaeopolis; quickly glancing away from her direction, Hope tried to take deep breaths to calm the unnaturally harsh inner emotions. _I know, Light. I know that you want to protect everyone that you care about. But I'm not a kid anymore… Somehow, I know I have to do something to prove that to you. Even if you've agreed to let me fight, even if you've agreed, silently, to let me come with you, there's still a part of you that hasn't accepted that._

A rusted traffic light stuck at an odd angle from the cracked concrete ahead caught his attention somehow. _There has to be a way to protect you too. There's gotta be a way for me to fight too… _Those thoughts made him think back to what she'd said, about how Carmine had supposedly found a way to reawaken the magical affinity that had been developed by their time as l'Cie. _Is that possible? _He couldn't deny the dark hope that question gave him – he knew _she_ hated the idea of it, but… _But it's the only way for me to fight. _That much would be undeniable even to her. _But she probably just shoved it away and it probably only reinforced in her mind that she's got to protect me. _Giving his platinum locks a shake, he turned his gaze upwards to the unsettled grey skies stretched endlessly above them. _I get why she doesn't want to work with Carmine. _That_… I get. _And though he'd just berated himself for it, Hope couldn't suppress the urge to cast one furtive glance in Lightning's direction, easily picking out the pastel pink hair in the surrounding gloom of Paddra's ruins._ But… I have to find a way to fight too._

"Hey!" Snow's loud yell echoed off the empty, silent landscape, jerking him unceremoniously out of his thoughts. The big blond was standing a ways off, near the foot of one of the circle of mountains that surrounded the ruined city. "I think I found something!"

Hastily suppressing a rueful smile, he picked his way over to the brawler; he caught up with Snow at the opening to what looked like a short path to the interior of the mountain. Squinting into the darkness, Hope could make out roughly hewn stone steps that twisted upwards, but how far they reached, or where they led, was lost in the darkness. Brisk footsteps behind him announced the arrival of Lightning; turning his head back a little, he saw her with her arms crossed over her chest, a dark expression on her face. "Did you actually find something, or were you just bored?" she muttered under her breath.

"Hey, hey," Snow chided, raising palms in mock self-defence. "I wouldn't dream of wasting your—sorry, _our_ precious time, Sis." He had an appropriately abashed expression decorating his face, one that relaxed into a fond irritation the moment she moved away. His ocean blue gaze met Hope's, the same thought crossing both their minds, Hope giving him a small smile of his own. _In some regards… she really is better. That was something the old Lightning would've said. _

In retrospect, as she moved closer to him, silently accepting his presence as they started towards to the steps side-by-side, it was perhaps a cruel, black-and-white approach to her mental stability, classifying everything as 'old Lightning' and… _And whoever she's become now. It's wrong… no, _cruel_ to compare who she is now to who she was before. Because we all watched the stoic soldier disappear the moment the person she was fighting for was gone —that's something I wouldn't wish on _anyone._ Even now… four years later, that part of her is still here, no matter how many reassurances I give. _

The looming darkness in front of them was thick, almost like a miasma, and for once, he was glad Lightning wouldn't be able to make out his expression in the almost complete darkness. _And I know it's _because_ I've watched her break down that this time… I want to protect _her.

* * *

The shifting gloom was no clearer than it had been, and Lightning could have sworn they'd already climbed at least a hundred steps with no end of the stairs in sight. But she wasn't going to lie to herself — that was something that didn't work no matter how much she could've wished it would — she was glad for the darkness because Hope's warm presence was just beside her, their shoulders just touching, and she didn't want him to dissect her emotional stability by her expression as he so often was able to do.

The place was too claustrophobic — it pressed down on her like unrelenting gravity, determined to crush her to earth. Her heartbeat was too fast and too unsteady for her liking, and she could feel the beads of sweat beginning to gather on her palms. It wasn't that she was naturally claustrophobic or anything, it was that anywhere dark and confined tended to remind her of the Ice Cliff Palace, even if that place happened to be her room at night. She knew exactly why she was reacting this way — the military psychologist had even dissected that reaction for her, but it didn't help any, knowing the scientific rationale behind it. And right now, with only her heartbeat acting as a source of background sound, the doctor's words came echoing a little too loudly, drawn up by painful memories and rational thinking alike.

"_You react this way because the environment in which your sister died was similar. Not the same, but to the human mind, it doesn't matter. The human mind codes fear stronger than anything else because fear is protective in nature. When your mind processes fear, it automatically produces the 'fight or flight' response." _

Except there was nothing to fight and nowhere to run. She could spend the rest of her life hacking away at this one mountain range and not make a dent in it, and she could as easily run from the bowels of this earth right now as she could saw off her own legs. _And this isn't even the only place that makes me feel this way. _She let out a short huff, trying to dispel some of the emotional bonds associated with the place with the motion._ Since I can't change it, I might as well get on with things. _Picking up the pace, hoping that Hope—and Snow, who was behind them, wouldn't be able to hear the desperate panic in her quickened steps, she was almost relieved when she heard—and felt— Hope speed up beside her.

Sudden lightness ahead alleviated some of the rising panic inside as the last few steps opened up into an open area set into the stone that overlooked the Paddran ruins, overcast sunlight flooding in from an opening that was left in the mountain. Her relieved exhale of a sigh wasn't missed by Hope; Lightning felt a phantom caress gently touch her shoulder. "You okay?"

Suddenly afraid to look behind her, she only nodded breathlessly, forcing herself to relax at their contact. That same phantom warmth was suddenly wrapped around her shoulders— hating herself for the way she so easily accepted his comfort, Lightning rested the right side of her head against his collarbone, feeling embarrassed at how easily _his_ steady heartbeat assuaged her own; she was now absolutely sure that he could feel her erratic pulse in their grazing contact. "I'll be okay," she rasped quietly; quickly breaking apart at the sounds of Snow's imminent arrival, she turned her attention to the other side of the area the steps had led them to, illuminated by the grey light.

It was a temple.

And not just any temple, because with a swallow of absolute dread, Lightning realized she recognized the statues and the symbols that were touched to a dim luminance by the pearly, watery light. _This is…_

Snow had moved forward, hands outstretched towards the stone creatures carved into the mountainside, long since overgrown with lichens— but no less hauntingly familiar— the same realization dawning on his expression. The renewed grip on her shoulder told her that Hope recognized them too; this time, she didn't resent the contact in any way— Lightning suddenly wasn't sure that the flare of hope that Snow's discovery had given her was such a good idea anymore. "This is…" Her voice sounded weak and raspy—impotent and hoarse, it gave away the weakness eating at the corners of her emotional equilibrium.

"Etro's Shrine," finished Snow quietly, his voice just as choked as hers. She watched him take a breath, and slowly let it out, as if steeling himself for what lay ahead— of that, she was envious, as she watched him sluggishly ascend the steps, the ones that mirrored the ones so often branded into her consciousness in dreams. He could remove himself totally from what he was doing and not let his emotions get in his way. Once, she could do that too; but now, barely suppressed memories were threatening to make a reappearance, and the rational part of her mind was screaming that right now was _not_, in any way, shape, or form, the right time to break down.

As much as she would've liked to listen to the cognitive part of her mind, her head was suddenly pounding, with her heartbeat hammering away at the back of her suddenly closed throat, restricting the sounds those memories wanted to elicit from the back of it.

_Ice and stone contrasted starkly in an otherworldly world, a whole new plane in which black and white, darkness and light could exist on an equal level. Sudden clarity flooded every aspect of her senses as she watched the single-winged figure raise the spear in hand, ready to take aim at her sister again._

_And suddenly, she was running, determined this time, to do what she'd been prepared to do last time—and this time, there was no Shiva to save them. _

_Pain. Unbridled and unrelenting agony permeated through the upper half of her body, aided and abetted by her own faltering heartbeat. Words, less significant than the silent whisper of a gentle spring breeze— they made no sense and she couldn't hear them. There was only one sound that registered in her rapidly dimming consciousness, one that she would have done anything not to hear._

"Light! _Lightning!"_ A rough shake of her shoulders shattered the illusion of memories and nightmares that trawled through her dreams all too often, and Lightning found herself looking up at Hope's familiar, scared emerald gaze. His grip slid down her arms, stopping at her elbows. "Are you okay?" His voice was a rasp, but she knew he could tell she _wasn't_ okay.

Trying to disregard how badly she was shaking, she mustered a nod, still unable to speak through her closed throat, and afraid how the words would come out. "Maybe you shouldn't be here," he murmured quietly. "This place is only going to upset you… isn't it?"

"No!" The forced one syllable word felt like a burn as she forced it out; pulling in a deep breath, she slowly disengaged herself from him. "I have…" _I have to know if Carmine was speaking truth or lies. No matter how much this place resembles… _there_, I can't let it stop me._ Hope had opened his mouth, but seeing the expression on her face, closed it; watching him swallow nervously, it was awhile before he said something.

"Okay. But… if something upsets you… You have to tell us, okay?" Those words, accompanied by the soft brush of her cheek, unfurled a gentle, warming sense of peace, soothing in the raging inner storm; the thinnest filament of down in an otherwise bleak and hopeless landscape.

Taking an experimental step forwards, surprised to find it quite steady, Lightning tried to calm her still-trembling fingers; clenching them into fists at her side worked, she found. "Okay."

Her fragile resolve was tested the moment she'd ascended the worn stone steps to where Snow had been waiting, silently watching her grapple with her memories, a pained, shadowed expression on his face—one that wasn't at all too hard to read. _I'm not the only one… remembering._

She tried to remember that, but coupled with her earlier difficulty in keeping calm, she gave up trying to assuage the heady churn of emotions inside. _Serah. _"Hey Sis." Snow's voice was unusually subdued as she followed him across the threshold of stone, feeling oddly comforted by the steady, quiet footsteps of Hope just behind her. "I think… this is where they worshipped Etro—don't think we'll find much here. There _is_ a back room though; just checked it out—it's through there, wanna go give it a look?"

Following his pointed finger with her gaze, Lightning couldn't help but notice that the muscles in Snow's arm were much more tense than usual: a consequence of keeping painful emotions tightly under control, something she was surprisingly not good at doing anymore.

A tiny, pained sigh escaped her lips; pushing away the debilitating memories and feelings, her right hand automatically found the handle of her omega weapon, a gesture of comfort from older days that didn't work as well as she would've wanted it to now; nonetheless, the sensation of _holding on_ to something gave her something to focus on. "Yeah… let's go."

Tiny dust motes swirled before them as they made their way to the very corner of the opened shrine; locked in a celestial dance, the swirling bits of long-dead matter were pushed aside as they passed, disturbing the long-forgotten temple. The swollen, rotting wooden door pushed open on contact, exposing thousands upon thousands of stone slabs and paper pieces caught in the mercy of the elements; some still damp from the storm that had ravaged the Yaschas Massif not a few days before.

Her left hand brushed the carvings of a stone boulder that was just beside the wrecked entranceway; Pulsian alphabet swimming before her, Lightning realized what she was looking at. _This is… Pulse's history laid out in stone._ Throat suddenly dry as she scanned the smaller room, her pulse pounded in her ears, realizing what could be found in the confines of the brightly lit room, overcast sunlight from the balcony carved into the other side of the rock face lighting contents of the place brightly. Away from the main room, away from the constricting darkness of the passageway upwards, she was a little calmer, and a little better in control of her emotions. "Right… let's start looking." Her voice was still a little unsteady, but Lightning felt relieved that the words no longer hurt to be enunciated from a tightly closed, burning throat.

Spreading out quickly, she picked her way over to the very back of the room, the place where grey light poured in from the carved opening, taking in the Yaschas Massif scenery outside—the bright maze that was Eden looked far away from here; really, it was only a square-inch spot of colour in the unforgiving, untamed Gran Pulse landscape.

Turning her gaze back to what she had to look for, Lightning bent down to examine a heavy stone tablet that was directly illuminated by the watery lighting, fingers tracing the outlines of the Pulsian alphabet carved on them.

* * *

An hour or two later, Hope joined Lightning and Snow in the middle of the room; several pieces of damp paper that had somehow survived a couple of centuries of wear and tear clutched in his right hand, his mind still buzzing over the rich history that the room contained.

"So," began Snow with a cough. "I think I'll start." Scratching the back of his bandanna, the big blond glanced around once before starting. "I couldn't read some of the stuff—the letters weren't really clear anymore, but basically, that Carmine creep was right about the whole 'reincarnation' stuff. You know, that garbage about 'incomplete' reincarnation and all that crap."

At this, Hope saw, out of the corner of his eye, Lightning look away, her expression darkening. The urge to ask her what was wrong warring with the snap he knew would come if he asked her; he firmly pressed his lips shut. _If it's important… she'll say it, right?_

"But I did find something interesting," continued Snow, spreading a piece of paper flat in front of them. "This the amplifier thing you were talking about, Sis? I can't read some of the stuff written at the bottom, but it seems right." Sliding the damp piece of paper towards them, Hope watched her fingers tighten on the edge of the flat white surface.

Reading over her shoulder, Hope watched Lightning carefully, fear prickling at his instincts, grappling with the earlier conviction to do something about it—to protect _her._ He'd brushed her shoulder by accident as he made a move to give her some space, but the fleeting contact all but confirmed his suspicions; at this close proximity, he could feel her rapid heartbeat. _Light…_

He'd barely moved three inches away from her when she suddenly tightened her left hand in a fist around the paper. "Yeah… this is it," she hissed, a spark of anger consuming the dark shadow in her teal gaze. "Where'd you find it?"

Snow gestured somewhere over his shoulder. "Somewhere over there… I can't remember exactly where." He lowered his voice. "So… essentially, it's supposed to concentrate magical ability in an object outside the human body?"

He heard Lightning let out a low snarl. "So he was right. Paddra was researching this long before humans on Cocoon were aware of it." The ancient piece of paper in her hand crinkled as she scrunched it into a fist. "Meurites have long been an existence on Pulse—I found out _that_ much."

Taking a breath, the papers in his own hand forgotten, Hope ventured a question, hoping it would divert the attention away from the amplifier design—he could guess exactly what she had against it. "But if they've been part of Pulse for a long time… why didn't Fang or Vanille mention it? And why didn't we see any last time?"

Lightning gave him a wry look, the look in her eyes telling him she'd acknowledged his question. "In short… because we were l'Cie. But this time…" she trailed off, a harsh edge entering her tone, "we're _not. _To them, we're just prey with an abundant amount of natural ability we can't use."

"Very good! To be honest, I expected no less from you, my dear Lieutenant-Colonel." Whipping around, Hope found the entrance to the small room barred with a squadron of soldiers and a figure he recognized as Carmine striding in confidently in front of them, a gleeful expression on his face. "Surprised to see me? Don't be—there're soldiers still in the hospital from their little encounter with you last time." A devilish smirk decorating his features, he gestured wildly with his hands. "You're not getting away that easily this time."

The distinctive click of the gunblade being unsheathed was just beside his right shoulder as Lightning took a step forward, omega weapon raised to shoulder height. "So this is what this is about?" Disgust evident in her cold tones, she advanced slowly towards the scientist. "Because we wouldn't help you?"

Carmine grinned openly at them. "Not quite." Voice dropping to what Hope could only describe as a low purr, he continued. "Don't you see? What you could become if you helped me? You could be as powerful as you were once, if only—"

"Why don't you stop lying?" Cutting across him harshly, Hope watched Lightning aim the weapon at his forehead. "You keep chasing us, forcing us to run around in circles until we don't have a choice but to do what you want. I told you: I'm not your guinea pig! If you want someone to be your lab rat, have fun looking somewhere else!"

For the briefest fraction of a heartbeat, Hope saw Carmine's composed expression contort in something akin to sick fury before he forcibly wiped it clean; clearly trying to keep his temper under control, he gestured to the soldiers behind them.

Hope barely had the time to pull out Nue stuffed behind him under his jacket when a rough hand pushed him out of the way of a round of incoming shots. Finding himself crouched behind a large stone slab with Lightning, whose hand was tight on the gunblade as they waited for the barrage of gunfire to let up a little. "They'll be here in a minute," she hissed. Giving him a critical look, Hope watched her weigh outcomes mentally, indecision warring in her aquamarine eyes. "Can you hit anything with that?"

It was a few precious heartbeats later when Hope realized what she was asking. "This? Y-Yeah," he stammered. _Kind of. When I have time to aim, at least. _

"Okay. _Okay._ On the count of three, I want you to follow me—try to hit as many of them in the distance as you can. Go after Carmine if you can, but _don't_ kill him—there're answers I still want from him." Swallowing thickly, Hope watched her expression, the earlier indecision wiped by the icy fire that he knew so well.

_Do we have to kill them?_ The lingering, unspoken question hung on his lips—the notion was silly, of course, he'd killed more monsters and Cie'th than he cared to count. But somehow, this _felt_ different, even though in concept, it was the same. The clones, the enemies they'd fought last time… they no longer felt human to him, not after seeing what they'd done and what they were after. And even the Meurites— they didn't exactly feel _human _to him either. But this… _They're just soldiers who're following orders. _The thought was pathetic, and Hope knew if Lightning knew he was thinking like this, she'd cuff him over the head for being stupid, but he couldn't help it. _I'm not a soldier… I can't help but to think like this._

And it was funny, because he'd never felt qualms about fighting before; somehow, somewhere in the four years since the Eclipse, his view of fighting had changed—he wasn't quite sure of what had brought that on, but he couldn't shake off the unsettling feeling that it had something to do with the outcome of that last fight in the Ice Cliff Palace: watching both Snow's and Lightning's pain, watching her almost completely succumb to that crushing depression, something had changed—that, at least, was something he didn't have trouble pinpointing. _I'd never wish that on someone else. If they were directly after us, for their own reasons, maybe I wouldn't feel this way fighting, but if they're just following orders…_

"Three!"

The harsh command cut across his thoughts; pushing himself up after Lightning as she sprang into action, he found that his grip on Nue was sweaty and nervous. His first aim was precarious, uncertain, but the weapon found its mark in the gun arm of a soldier anyways, dropping the weapon to the floor. Snow's bulk was suddenly beside him as the blond brawler charged, his boot catching the chin of another soldier, flinging the man away from them.

Surprisingly, the rain of gunfire suddenly stopped as Lightning skidded to a halt in front of him; unceremoniously bumping into her back, Hope peered over the top of her pink head to see what exactly had just put the battle to a halt.

One glance told him what, exactly, as a low growl filled the room before the gunfire resumed, this time not aimed at them.

The remaining soldiers were desperately firing their various weapons at a lone animalistic figure crouched by the balcony that opened up to the Gran Pulse landscape. He didn't need Snow's muttered curse or Carmine's yell to know what it was.

A Meurite had finally tracked them down.

* * *

Lightning felt her muscles tense the moment the soldiers' attention was drawn away from them—following their gaze, she'd felt her heartbeat catch in her throat the moment she recognized what could only be a Meurite crouched by the dim light that the overcast day provided. Glad as she was for the momentary distraction, it couldn't be long before the thing succumbed to the four or five guns trained on its form, at which point the soldiers would turn back to gunning for them.

Taking the brief respite the Meurite's appearance had given her, leaping lightly over the stone fragments that littered the floor, she set her sights on the squadron leader, who whipped around, pole-axe in hand as their weapons met. Dodging out of the way of the Sanctify attack, she twisted around, spotting Carmine hiding just behind the captain, white lab coat pressed against the stone wall. Narrowing her eyes, she shoulder rolled under the incoming sweep of the axe, readying the blade in hand.

"_I control my own fate!" _ The first few bullets buried themselves in the captain's weapon arm; kicking him away with a backflip, she landed right in front of Carmine, gunblade raised at him. The resulting howl that sounded in the background told her that either Snow and Hope or the remaining soldiers had taken out the Meurite. _But you… You won't get away without answering my questions._

He cowered away from her icy gaze; perhaps realizing his imminent defeat, he raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. "You _will_ answer my questions," she snarled. "And you can call off your little army before I have to hurt any more of them."

A flicker of something crossed his steel-grey gaze. What it was, she couldn't pinpoint at this moment, but it pulled at something inside. _I've seen it before._ She knew anger too well not to recognize it, but it wasn't fear either—with that, her gut twisted once again with instinct. Whatever it was, he wasn't scared of her, wasn't scared of what she had to say. Narrowing her gaze as she turned her head back to make sure the remaining soldiers had indeed dropped their weapons, it was only then that the expression came to mind: it was the exact same expression worn by her enemy on the night of the Eclipse: contempt.

* * *

**I'm evil. I know, thanks. ;p**

**I chose to leave it at that, because the resulting explanations/interrogations and along with what happens next because of aforementioned events would tip this chapter close to 12,000 words and that's a lot of words. xD So I'll leave it at this, and leave you hanging for the next installment! *cackles* Feel free to speculate and such, though - I think I mentioned last chapter that we're quickly approaching the defining moment of this fic, and I actually hinted at it this chapter somewhere, so hopefully (or maybe not hopefully) you guys can pick it out!  
**

**Next chapter will probably take me some time-don't expect it before next Monday or so... *chews lips* Leave love as always, and I shall see y'all soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	12. You Are Similar To Me

**So hey there, my lovelies, and thank you for turning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings!_ **

**Oh my gosh... this chapter did not want to be written in any way, shape or form. There was the fact that I got several mosquito bites on my hands, leaving (namely) the knuckles and joints of my index fingers swollen like little cherry tomatoes, and then there was the sheer content of this chapter, because honestly, by the end, I was almost in tears and I _knew_ what was going to happen. Note of warning: the following chapter is well over 7,000 words in length, so be prepared for some major plot points ahead.  
**

**That aside, my love goes to: H-thar (you, my dear, are amazing - all of your predictions have been duly noted, but unfortunately, I think I go on and explain most of them in the following chapter, so please forgive me when I say I cannot expand on this just yet), Lightarcana (and yes! I was definitely gunning for 'more mature' Hope in this fic - I'm glad you think I pulled it off!), Mylaervain (well, I wouldn't be surprised if that was on her list), Jack Hargreave (and no, don't even worry about it, I love you and your pointers! :D), GKMader (ohmigosh, it's stuff like that that makes my day. I try. n_n) and That One Reviewee (congrats on the account, and thank you for that! :3)! As I've said before, I love all my supporters whether you review or favourite/alert me - it really keeps me going, knowing that you guys wanna know what happens next!  
**

**And to _LadyAlaska -_ I finally did it! No amount of gratitude shall suffice for your support: you have no idea how much I want Fang to come out here and smack me with her spear right now. ._.  
**

**Enjoy as always!**

* * *

Chapter 12: You are Similar to Me

Watching the retreating soldiers disappear into the gorge, Lightning waited at the mouth of the valley until she was absolutely sure they were out of sight. Turning back, she watched Snow pick through the pile of abandoned weapons, picking a gun for himself. Absentmindedly admiring the barrel, the blond brawler patted the back of his neck. "Well, that was informative," he commented, giving her a wry look.

Turning away with a huff, easily picking out Hope's silver head of hair by the small stream, she crossed her arms over her chest. _Yes, very informative considering the amount of information that Carmine was hiding from us. And he wouldn't've told us if we didn't threaten to kill him._A condescending snort leaving her lips, Lightning picked a rock to lean against, silently enjoying the weak sun that played with the pink tendrils of hair, the first hint of sunlight that had peeked its way through the clouds in more than a week.

* * *

_Her fist curled the front of Carmine's lab coat in a bunch of cloth—the man didn't even try to squirm against her grip; perhaps he realized it was useless, but whatever the reason, he wasn't trying to fight to escape anymore. "Talk," she snapped, dropping him by a pile of rocks and blocking his way out with her weapon._

_He gave her a leering look under bronze coloured locks. "About what, my dear?"_

"_Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. I want answers to _this," _she snarled, shoving a piece of paper into his face. She watched him scan the page quickly before swallowing; for the first time, she saw a hint of fear in his eyes. She'd hunted before—it was the look that caged, trapped animals had when they were cornered._

_Carmine heaved a dramatic sigh. "What d'you want to know?" _

"_You _lied_ to us!" she seethed, ignoring the hand Hope laid on her shoulder. "You really thought I believed that an amplifier was only beneficial? The more I thought about it, the more it sounded like the 'perfect solution' to our problems. But nothing in life is ever perfect, is it? Tell me," she hissed quietly. "How does it harm the human body? _That_ was something you conveniently left out, didn't you?"_

_Lightning watched him visibly pale. _

"_W-Well," he stammered, shrinking back from her rage before falling silent for a moment, clearly thinking better of denying it. "The successfully created amplifier, while succeeding in condensing magical ability, comes at a cost," he finally got out. "It needs power. It's impractical, of course, to carry around an external power source. So it has to be modified—that power comes from the human body."_

_Loud footsteps approached them from behind: Snow had made his way over until he stood barely a foot from the scientist's face. "So what does that mean?" _

_Carmine gave him a very cold, calculated look. "I explained before, didn't I? Humans, just like l'Cie and monsters, once had the potential to use their magic. Over time, though, that ability was lost. What the amplifier allows is for that magical potential to be drawn out, condensed, like an Eidolith. That's the crystal that theoretically fits into an Amplifier__—_the concentrated power of a human's magical potential. What it doesn't_ compensate for, is that that power was never meant to be physically removed from the human body. From what we can see from old legends, a human's magical power eventually became melded with their spirit__—_ part of one's soul, you might even say. It was not meant to be ripped from the body. The Amplifier though, does not take that into account. It willfully uses that power, even drawing from the human_—_almost like a parasite_—_to continue functioning, as I mentioned before. But the unseen side effect of this is that over time, the human grows weaker_—something that's supposed to be a part of you that isn't anymore... it's like losing a major organ, except this one shuts your body down all at once._ The more magic that is used, the more that's tapped from the potential and it more it consumes; the body tries to compensate for the crystallized potential the Amplifier has ripped from it_—_it ends up working too hard to make up for the lost difference." Taking the piece of paper from her, he gave it a little wave. "You see? Over time, the crystallized power grows smaller as its potential is consumed. Once the crystal disappears, well..." He shot her a shrewd look. "I would imagine that would put the human that used it in a very dire physical condition_—_remember, it also uses the human's energy to crystallize power."

"_So it kills you if you use it enough times, even if you just have it with you for a long time— is that what you're saying?" demanded Snow._

_Carmine shrugged. "Magic was never supposed to be part of a human's existence. If you bend nature's laws, by drawing out that potential into a crystal away from where it's supposed to be: residing_ in_ your body as opposed to a weapon outside it, your body is naturally going to pay the price. Essentially, it's a body, a life, you might even claim, for power."_

_Still pointedly ignoring Hope's hand on her left shoulder, Lightning took a step forward. "So what, exactly, are the symptoms to this?" Mind racing, she tried to tell herself to calm down—she could feel her erratic heartbeat hammering away at the back of her throat as dread and fear started to consume her exterior stability._

_The scientist looked up at her, raising his palms in an innocent gesture. "I don't know. What I have is only a guess: at the beginning, when your potential is still abundant and is newly removed, it might not affect you too much, just like losing say, a kidney or a lung. At first, the difference is negligible, but your body isn't meant to compensate for something like that. Over time, it_ will_ affect you._"_ Averting his gaze, Carmine continued. "But at the same time, using the power consumes the crystal__—_remember, it's supposed to be a part of you. That puts your body at a risk, because now, your body needs to compensate for what it's lost: it ends up working too hard, and you put your major organs, namely, your lungs and heart, into a great strain as it tries to keep you in the physical shape you once were in. Once the crystal is fully consumed by an excessive use of magic, I imagine you would enter cardiac arrest, because there is no way that that difference can be made up through viable means."

_That was all she needed to hear—that Hope could _not, _in any way, shape, or form, be allowed to use one.  
_

* * *

A different sort of warmth joined the fragile sense of security the weak sunlight offered her, when Lightning felt Hope gently brush her shoulder with one hand. "Light?" The tone of his voice was light, but she didn't miss the shadowed look in his emerald gaze. "We should discuss what we're going to do next," he mumbled quietly.

_He's right._ Following him back to where Snow was waiting, sitting on a rock with his new weapon, she paused for a moment, trying to grapple with her thoughts and emotions, trying to keep them bottled up so she could maintain _something_ of a collected composure. Lightning knew Hope knew _exactly_ what she'd been thinking the moment Carmine had spilled the beans, and to his credit, he hadn't mentioned it in front of her, hadn't brought it up in any way. Perhaps he thought it would be worth it, to sacrifice life for power, but she didn't think so. _However much power that thing might give, it's not worth risking your life for, Hope. There're some things in life that you just do… but this isn't one of them. _It was with a jolt of surprise that she realized both Hope and Snow were waiting for her to begin—of that, she had an inkling. Of the details, well, that was still up in the air.

"We still need to get out of here. Carmine may have called off the army this time, and the remaining soldiers may know enough of the truth to convince the generals back in Eden we're not guilty of anything, but it's still not wise to go back."

"No, for sure," agreed Snow. "But if we can't go back… where to?"

Taking a deep breath, she moved away, turning her face towards the unforgiving rock faces of the mountains. _I think I know what we need to do… but will they think the same? _ "I… We need to get to get to the bottom of this. I—We can't just ignore the Meurites, not when we're targets." Biting her lower lip, Lightning didn't dare turn around lest it was the wrong decision to make; tensing instinctively at the sound of footsteps on coarse grass behind her, she kept her gaze on the stone walls that surrounded them.

The footsteps paused just beside her, and she snuck a glance out of the corner of her eye, catching the distinctive platinum locks. _Of course._ "I knew you'd make that decision," Hope murmured quietly.

"Did you?" _Am I really that predictable now?_ She hoped not—it would be just more proof of how much she'd changed.

Those thoughts were somewhat appeased by the small chuckle. "You're not that hard to guess, Light. Because this… this is the sort of thing you do." Briefly, Lightning wondered if she was supposed to feel offended by the somewhat-amused comment, before she realized that it didn't bother her as much as it really should have. _If he said this to me before… I would've slapped him. But…_ She didn't know, in what regard or to what extent that had changed, but whatever it was, it didn't irritate her as much as she thought it would.

"So… d'you have anything against it?" she asked quietly, realizing a little too late that his response hadn't been one of either acceptance or rejection.

Lightning heard Snow yawn behind her. "No, I mean, well, it's not like I've got a better one. And it's like you said, Sis, we're targets too, we might as well get to the bottom of this."

Leaping lightly down from the ledge on which she'd been perched, she rubbed the leathery surface of her right glove against her face. _He hasn't noticed…_ A sick sense of satisfaction roiling through her stomach, she thanked her rare lucky stars that Hope and Snow hadn't noticed anything unusual—and maybe, she'd been preoccupied with other things to give the notion of lying to them much thought. _No. I'm not… _lying_. I'm just… not telling them what they haven't asked. _That wasn't really lying, right? _Then why the hell do I feel so guilty about it? _No, it wasn't guilt, exactly. Lightning knew herself well enough to know that it wasn't completely just guilt: something else was mixed in with the emotions surrounding that particular decision. _It's… I feel _bad_, but not because they don't know—_ It was then that she hit it. Swallowing, ever grateful that her back was still turned to both Hope and Snow, she tried to assuage those emotions before they came out. _It's… it feels like I know something bad'll happen because I'm not telling them._

Quickly dismissing that thought, Lightning gave her head a shake. _That's ridiculous—it's for their own good I'm not telling them. I don't need—no, just, no._

Trying to convince herself that hiding the truth was the right thing to do was easier said than done; guilt and an ominous sense of foreboding pricked at the edges of her consciousness as she glanced back up. She couldn't see Snow from where she was standing, but Hope's expression was unreadable—a new sense of discomfort gripping her, Lightning prayed silently that he couldn't tell what she was thinking.

_That_ brought on a new round of anxieties, because she knew she was weak enough around him for him to pry the truth from her, another change that she wasn't sure whether she liked or not. Certainly, the opportunity to be close, to have someone to confide in was all fine and well, but when it came to disclosing things she would've rather kept to herself, Lightning hated the fact that he could read her way too well for his own good. _Dammit, why is this so hard?_

Hope leapt down to land beside her; when she turned her head away slightly, his familiar emerald gaze adopted a puzzled look, almost as if he was unsure why she was rejecting his presence. "Sorry," she mumbled, before Lightning registered what she was saying. The word had slipped out—really, she hadn't meant to say it, because now, the one syllable word was sure to have aroused his suspicions if her stance already hadn't.

"What… d'you have to be sorry for?"

She was relieved to hear that the tone was mildly curious rather than accusatory.

"Just… Urgh, Hope, never mind." _Please don't ask me for details. _Her tone had caught his attention this time—she hadn't been sure of how to dispel the dismissive tone in her voice: the only thing was, he knew _that_ tone all too well.

Coarse blades of grass crunched beside her as he moved closer. "Light, is there something wrong?"

_Not something I want to tell you, that's for sure. _

Giving her head a firm shake, she turned away, careful not to look at his expression. "No. Come on, we should go." A loud thump behind her announced that Snow had gotten up and had landed behind them.

"Alright, where to, Sis?"

Kneading the heels of her hands against her face, Lightning tried to think—she'd been so caught up in trying to figure out, exactly, what to say and what _not_ to say that she honestly hadn't given that much thought. A scrap of conversation drifted into her consciousness, a long-forgotten tidbit of information so distantly buried in her memories that for a moment, she wondered if her mind had made it up out of desperation, or it was a genuine memory pushed to the back of her mind until the time was right for her to remember it.

"_We haven't exactly determined the source of the Meurites," Carmine mused quietly. "But from our aerial troops, we've tracked their general location to a desert range just beyond the Mah'habara Subterra—it's quite treacherous territory, well beyond the Sulyya Springs; we're trying to see if Eden is going to allow for a search of the area."_

"Mah'habara," she finally got out, feeling icily relieved when her voice came out steadier than she expected it to be, especially since she knew Hope was still trying to figure out exactly what had been wrong earlier—Lightning could feel his eyes on her back. "Carmine mentioned it to me… once."

Snow laughed. "And you couldn't tell us this before because…?"

"Well, sorry," she mumbled quietly, taking the lead, hoping that somewhere along the path back from the Yaschas Massif Hope would forget about what was bothering her.

When he didn't make an effort to catch up to her, she snorted inwardly, hating herself for allowing things to play out this way, but not knowing a way to make things right. _Who am I kidding? He's got eyes like a hawk when it comes to my mental well-being._

* * *

Twilight settled across the wide expanse of the Archylte Steppe, the cold fire of the sea of stars above them offering no sort of refuge from any monsters—not that Hope had expected any. Keeping an eye on Lightning, who was settled on a large rock perhaps three feet away, he tried to use her current expression to analyze her earlier strange behaviour.

It wasn't that he didn't know her mood fluctuated with her emotional and mental stability, it was that he honestly hadn't expected the encounter with Carmine to affect her in any way. There was nothing during to suggest she _wasn't_ alright, and at the time, he hadn't worried. Her strange mood had picked up sometime after that, and though he could guess what issue she had with the scientist's revelations, she had already made her point very clear about that— _She wouldn't have a problem with the reinforced 'no', would she?_

So he didn't see, exactly, why she was acting like this. She'd been distant all day and he knew her well enough not to even begin to try prying; no doubt she would snap like she had before and he'd be in a worse position than he was now. _Light, what's wrong? You can tell me, you know… _There were some things he _needed_ to talk to her about, the main thing being what he was going to—or not going to— do now that Carmine had finally told the truth, but not like this. _I can't even… She won't even stay around me. _It was selfish, he knew, but he couldn't help it. _I thought you trusted me. _

There was nothing he could do about it until she got over what was bothering her, or finally decided to confide in him, and he would have to be content about that. Sitting with his back against a cold rock, Snow caught his eye. The knowing look in the blond's ocean blue gaze told him Snow knew _exactly _what was going on, before the brawler gave him a discreet thumbs up. "_I got this,"_ he mouthed before getting up.

"Hey Sis, you look tired today, wanna give me first watch? I swear I'll wake you if something's wrong." From his vantage point, Hope saw Lightning give Snow a pointed glare, before relenting; getting off the rock, she crossed her arms over her chest.

"You'd better," she muttered darkly; Snow crowed with laughter as he took her spot on the rock. Heartbeat unnaturally erratic, Hope felt his palms beginning to sweat when he realized she was making her way over; suddenly nervous as to what she was going to do, he wondered if she was going to distance herself, even now.

It almost came as a pleasant astonishment when she settled surprisingly near him, hands wrapped around her knees. Afraid to be the one to break the delicate silence, Hope knotted his hands into fists, hoping that would cover some of his nervousness. When she made no attempt at conversation, his sense of unease deepened; his throat dry, he was suddenly desperately anxious for something to break the unnerving quiet.

"Hey, Light?" His voice sounded off, almost like a croak. _Maker, I sound exactly how I shouldn't be sounding. Way to go, Hope._ If she noticed something off about his tone, she didn't voice it; giving a small hum to show that she'd heard, he saw Lightning tilt her head in his direction. Growing a little bolder at the acknowledgement of his question and her lack of an attempt to shut him up, he took a breath. _Well, here goes nothing._ "Is something bothering you?"

Her intense ice blue gaze wasn't something he could compete with—the cold glare from under her lashes was all too condescending. "Maker, Hope, I really hope you didn't just come up with that right now—cut the crap, this's been bugging you all day, hasn't it?"

Abashed by her harsh tone, he looked away quickly—if he wasn't going to lie to himself, he knew _she_ knew what had been wrong the whole time. A pained sigh caught his attention; turning his head back quickly, he saw that Lightning had buried her face in her hands.

"I didn't mean to yell," she murmured quietly. "It's just… I've got some things I need to think through, okay? It's nothing against you… nor does it have to do with anything you did or said." Her words only confirmed the suspicion nagging at him, but instead of assuaging the uncertainties inside, his worries felt magnified by her admission that something was wrong.

"Can you tell me?" He sounded painfully naive, almost like a child begging his mother for things he wasn't old enough to know yet.

He'd been about to push her for it when the look on her face caught his eye; brows knitted together in what he could only describe as pain, the expression pulled at his heartstrings, all demands dying on his lips. "Sorry—" he began, only to have her cut him off.

"No! I _told_ you, this has absolutely _nothing _to do with you!" she hissed back, the troubled shadow in her aquamarine momentarily erased by a fiery frustration. "You have nothing to apologize for… okay?" Tone softening, Hope watched her hands tighten on her knees. "I… I'll tell you, when I figure things out. But right now… I think I need I need to understand things myself before I try telling other people… okay?"

A wan smile pulling at his lips, his right hand covered both of hers—Hope wasn't quite sure of what had brought it on, but somehow, those last words had unfurled a fragile sense of comfort, one that almost uncannily calmed the inner fears and anxieties. That feeling was heightened when she made no move to get out of the light contact, instead choosing to tentatively return it. "Go to sleep," she murmured quietly. "Wouldn't want you to be too tired for tomorrow."

Her breathing wasn't something he could focus on to relax—there was a slight hitch in it, and through their grazing contact he could feel that _her_ heartbeat wasn't as steady as it should've been had she been completely relaxed. _Still, it feels… _nice_ to know that she knows. _Comforted by that thought, as childish as it might've sounded, it was enough to provide some sort of calm on which he _could_ focus on.

Drifting off, Hope thought he heard Lightning say something, but whether it was because he was too caught up on her earlier words, or whether it was just because he was tired of grappling with the emotional discomfort of knowing she was hiding something, he didn't catch it.

"_I'm sorry."_

* * *

The rapidly cooling autumn breeze tearing at her cape and hair, Lightning was glad when they entered the cool shade of what would hopefully be the last forest before the entrance to the Mah'habara Subterra. None of them remembered, exactly, the route from the Archylte Steppe to the Subterra, but Snow _thought_ they were going to right way, and since she didn't have any better idea, who was she to argue? That didn't stop darker thoughts from consuming her mind though: _If we get lost…_

A branch crackled underneath her boot; normally, she would've cursed herself for being too loud in a place where enemies and monsters alike could leap out at them any moment, but today, other things were on her mind, leaving little room for trivial things like being discreet in her higher mental functions. _If I'm honest with myself, I'm glad that things with Hope turned out the way they did. _She was still hiding things from him, things that she honestly could've told him but didn't want to burden him with, but making him wait was better than not telling him at all, right? She tried to convince herself that was right.

_That's the problem. Because… with him, I have a harder time discerning what's right and what's not. It's not that I don't have an idea, but around him… things done for his own benefit make me feel like a criminal, the way he looks at me._ Letting out an irritated huff, she increased the pace. _Maker, if this keeps up he'll be asking me to 'share my secrets' next.  
_

This time, the crackling grate of a breaking branch—that wasn't her—caught her attention. Whipping around, she saw the innocent look on Hope's face and the abashed, confused one on Snow's—it hadn't been them either. _Then who the hell—_

She didn't get to finish that thought when a snarling ball of fur launched itself at her from the undergrowth. Thinking fast and diving to one side, Lightning cursed silently when she felt claws graze her cheek—she hadn't been fast enough. The thing landed on the fallen autumn foliage, growling and ready to turn back on her when it lifted its head, almost as if… _Almost as if it's caught a new scent. _Its new target caught her attention the moment it turned. _Shit!_

Snow had pulled out his gloves, but it wasn't the blond the thing was after; the creature's new target was Hope, who was still standing beside a fallen log, staring at it. "Run!" she screeched at him, pulling out the omega weapon as she chased after it.

Making an attempt to intercept it, Snow succeeded in attracting its attention for the span of one attack; the moment he'd sent it flying away from him with a solid hit, its renewed attention on Hope confirmed in her mind as to what it was. _Figures. How we haven't been attacked out here before this is a miracle._

Pulling the trigger as fast as the mechanism would allow her, Lightning felt frustration bubble up inside when she realized she couldn't get its attention. The thing was closing in fast on Hope, and at close range, Nue was all but useless. That was when a different sound caught her attention; momentarily distracted, she turned to see several more of the Meurites emerge from the trees, fangs bared.

She spared one moment to get a close look at these ones—white fur, four legs, almost uncannily wolf-like. The only thing was their eyes: big, soulful, and unblinking, they looked more than expressive enough to be human. _Get a grip, Farron, these things are out after you. Right now is _not_ the time to be debating with yourself about their humanity. _

The one in the lead launched itself at her—this time, she was better prepared for the assault; waiting until the last possible second, she backflipped, using the momentum to drag the weapon across the throat of the creature, cutting its wail off mid-shriek. _One down, more to go._

A satisfied yell from behind her told her that Snow had succeeded in keeping the attention of the first one long enough to finish it off. Turning her attention back to the three that remained there; clearly less willing now to engage in direct combat now that two of their companions were lying lifeless on the forest floor, one of them let out an eerie howl that sent a spike of unease through her chest. _Just what…_

Lightning didn't get a chance to ponder at the meaning of the sound when the three remaining Meurites spread out, clearly having communicated some new attack strategy in the heartbeats that she'd been distracted. Flipping the omega weapon into gun mode, she took out the first easily enough, dropping it with a bullet to the neck. White fur grazed by her lower leg as one of them streaked past her, gaze set on Hope—she'd been about to turn to chase after it when something fastened its teeth into her ankle, not deep enough to break the skin through the boot, but enough to slow her down.

"I got this, Sis!" Snow yelled in her direction as he proceeded to chase after the one that had gotten by her. Cursing again, Lightning turned her attention back to the one whose fangs were buried in the tough material of her boot; dragging her away from Hope's direction and stubbornly refusing to let her go no matter how hard she fought its grip, even if it meant it now couldn't attack her. _Dammit, and my arms aren't long enough to reach it!_

Fumbling with the weapon, her first bullet caught it in the shoulder, enough to leave a gaping wound but not enough to make it let go of her. The realization dawning on her, she attempted to fire again at it, trying to aim correctly at it through the constant bumping of the uneven ground as it tried to continue to drag her along the forest floor. _It's not here to attack me—somehow, it knows I'm going to go help Hope!_ "Shit!" she cursed aloud, hoping that Snow at least would have the other one under wraps. The fourth shot she fired had some effect—the bullet had grazed its snout, reflexes forcing it to let go of her as it staggered back from the impact. Scrambling to her feet, her gunblade met its claws straight on as the serrated edge of the weapon cut into its paws. Not hesitating to finish it off with a deft slice at its torso, Lightning whipped around, intent on getting back to Hope and Snow before something serious happened.

They were perhaps thirty feet away from her, Snow still grappling with the wolf-like Meurite. Flat out sprinting now, she aimed a bullet at it—it was moving around too much to get a clear shot, but Lightning felt a sick sense of satisfaction to hear a yelp as its movements suddenly slowed: she'd buried the projectile into its back leg. Fully intent on finishing it off, she was unexpectedly restrained by something as she raised the gunblade.

"Light…stop." She'd been about to twist violently out of the grip when she realized who was stopping her. _What the—_

"Hope, what are you talking about?" Suddenly unsure of his intentions as she looked back at him, she narrowed her eyes in suspicion when she recognized the shadowed look in his familiar emerald gaze.

"Light, I— Look, I'm not trying to undermine you or anything, but _look_ at it. It's… do we really need to kill them all to win?" _What the hell are you talking about?_ Shaking her head with confusion, she followed his gaze to the incapacitated Meurite on the ground that Snow was keeping a careful watch over. _"_We've already won here… it's not gonna be attacking us anytime soon, can't we just let this one go?"

What he was implying hit her like a ton of bricks to the chest.

"_What_ are you—Hope, the niceties and the sympathy are nice, but it doesn't change the fact that it was trying to _kill you. _You really think—" Burying her face in a hand, she let out a frustrated groan. "_You_ might be noble and not care about finishing it off, but to whatever is compelling these things to attack us, you really think that'll matter?" As much as she hated herself for it, anger was starting to creep into her tone now. Trying to suppress it was proving futile—the more she thought about it, the angrier she realized she was becoming. "Is _this_ why you're not fighting? Because you bought Carmine's story about—"

She cut herself off, feeling icy cold claws grip her chest. _No!_

This sudden change in demeanor hadn't escaped Hope's notice and with a jolt of pained anxiety Lightning realized she recognized the look in his sea green gaze, one that she had only seen once before: anger. "So _what,_ Light? It doesn't change the fact that _something's _gotta be ordering them out here—is that what you've been trying to think through?" His voice level dropped considerably; pained now, as though he was desperate to make her understand. "Light… they've got objectives too—they let us know that much. Is it really so hard to try to understand them? Is it really so hard to ask what's wrong and try to work things out? We don't always have to fight," he finished quietly, tone uncertain.

For a moment, she was convinced he wasn't actually serious—the anguished, childish look on his face told otherwise. Raking back pink bangs with one hand, she had to look again to make sure of what she was seeing. "I can't believe—you didn't just say that. Hope, really? You really think we can just waltz up to their leader, or whatever the hell is behind this, and say 'We're sorry, we'd really like to work things out with you'? Do you _honestly_ think that's how things work here? This isn't some fairy tale, or some _game_, Hope, where there're good guys and bad guys and getting along is the key to everything!" Frustration at his apparent failure to understand her was mirrored in his gaze as he met her glare equally.

"Lightning—"

Not giving him a chance to start, anger was fueling her more than she really should have let it—it was making her reckless and impulsive like it so often had in the past. "Forget it, Hope. I don't know what it'll take to make you understand that we _need_ to fight—maybe, when one of those things kills someone the next time around, it'll make you see that now _isn't_ the time to be a pacifist!"

Lightning knew she'd pushed it the moment pained shock crossed his expression, but right now, she didn't care. _Why can't you see that I'm trying to protect you? All of this, everything I've done, I've tried to stop you from coming into contact with them, tried to hide the ugliest truths from you and this is what—_

Turning her back deftly on his expression, partly not wanting him to expose those feelings, and partly because in truth, she _was_ angry at his train of thought, Lightning picked her way down the gentle incline, picking up speed when she heard Snow yell after her; the only concept that she could rationally process right now was that she needed to get away and get a better grip on her own emotions before she did something stupid. _Like break down and tell them. _

Blindly crashing through the serene woods, past caring about the amount of noise she was making, it was a long time before she stopped to actually consider where she was going. Breathless and flustered, it was only when her mind registered the smell of smoke did it finally snap her out of the consuming, angry thoughts. Blue eyes widening at the sudden figure not ten yards away from her, Lightning recognized it as one of the Meurite kinds that had attacked Bodhum; it was grinning at her while it conjured another fireball in its right hand. "Lost, are we? Why, d'you need your friends to win this?"

"You _wish!_" she snarled back, drawing the omega weapon from behind her in one fluid motion. Dodging the first Fira, she swerved around a tree to get better aim at him, only to back away when she realized that his fire spell was setting the patch of trees in the area ablaze. Her only choice was to keep going, away from the flames, if she didn't want to get asphyxiated by fighting here; gritting her teeth at his laughter as he chased after her, clearly enjoying the fact that she knew she had to get away to a place without trees to fight him without danger of dying from suffocation.

Perhaps the first stroke of luck to her that day, the woods opened up to an open area surrounded a ravine after only a few minutes; too wide to jump across, her eyes lighted on an ancient bridge that had to be constructed during the time that civilization still existed on Pulse. That momentary distraction was a dire mistake on her part—she felt, all too painfully, a Fira crash into her left calf, sending rivets of pain up her leg and wrestling a cry from her lips.

_Get a grip, get a grip!_ Turning around to attempt to shoot, Lightning really wasn't all that surprised when only one of the bullets grazed his skin, barely leaving a mark. Stumbling alongside the edge of the stone, her only choice was to make it across the ravine and hopefully dismantle the bridge before he could come after her. Calf screaming in pain, she managed to make it to the other side, only to stumble over a particularly large rock. _Shit… Shit!_ But the fire that she'd been waiting for to ravage the rest of her body didn't come—instead, the acrid scent of wood burning caused her to look back. The Meurite was standing confidently on the other side, watching the remnants of the ancient bridge be consumed by tongues of orange, sending a dark plumage of smoke billowing into the early afternoon air. "Have fun making your way back to your friends now," he taunted, before melting into the shadows of the treeline on the other side.

Chest heaving for adequate breath, it was a long time before Lightning realized she'd calmed down enough to think. Frayed emotions on hyperdrive, she tried to put the mental ramifications of the last hour or so to the back of her mind. Shakily getting up, she wondered, briefly, if she actually wanted to look at the damage done by the Fire spell.

The soldier sense kicked in perhaps five seconds later. _If I'm going to stay alive, I have to know how bad it is. _Swallowing, she looked down, only to wish she hadn't. The skin that had been touched by the fire was a brilliant red patch about the size of her hand; decorating the side of her left leg, the burnt skin reached to the back of her knee. _Okay. Okay._ Once she'd gotten over the initial sight of it, a certain amount of field training did, in fact, kick in. _Okay. I can still feel it—which means, it can't be burnt beyond repair. _That offered little in the terms of comfort, but she'd take it. _Not like I have anything else to cling to at the moment. _

The second thing was that she now needed water, badly, and not just because of the burn. Hope and Snow had all the supplies, and that had been the first thing the instructors had had them all memorize at the academy: dehydration was a soldier's worst enemy out in the field. If she couldn't find any, Lightning knew she'd be dead in a week—and that would be pushing it.

The only thing was she had no idea where the hell she was at the moment: somewhere en route to the Subterra, she was sure, and the only place she could think of with an abundance of water right now was Sulyya Springs, and _that_ was at least a few hours walk, one that she wasn't sure she could make. _What other choice do I have? Some things… you just do. _

Gripping the handle of her weapon in one hand, she set off along the edge of the ravine, knowing that it ran somewhat parallel to the rough direction they'd been travelling in before. For a brief moment, Lightning wondered why the emotional consequences of this afternoon hadn't really sunk in yet before she slapped herself mentally—it was a good thing they hadn't when she needed to concentrate on staying alive at the moment.

Still, she didn't think she was imagining the empty, draining chasm that was opening somewhere near her chest. _What the hell… have I done?_

* * *

Fruitless searching in the immediate forest area turned up no sign of the pink-haired soldier; twilight was setting in fast, and by now, Hope was more than just worried. _Crap… Light, where'd you go? _ At first, he'd honestly been too angry with her to even think about chasing after her—the harsh, cutting words had hurt and he didn't want to think about them, feeling drained and empty that she didn't understand. _Light, they're… that's not right…_ But minutes had dragged into an hour and she still hadn't returned. By that point, he'd regained enough control over his own emotions to know that that had been the wrong time to bring _that_ up to her; leaving the injured Meurite behind, he'd set off with Snow to look for her, sure that he'd find her somewhere, probably still fuming about their argument.

Only, they hadn't.

No amount of searching had given them a clue as to where she'd gone, and Hope had realized that apart from the general direction she'd started off in, she could have gone anywhere—the woods were thick with no end in sight. Their searching had led them to the mountain gorge that opened to the Subterra, but Lightning hadn't been there either. Finally forced to give up for the day, they'd settled near the mouth of the gorge, hoping that she'd turn up eventually.

A hand clapped his shoulder. "She'll turn up—Sis is tough, she won't get eaten alive out there." A gesture of comfort he appreciated, but it didn't exactly help him any. The cold night provided no assurances as to where she was, and Hope felt himself beginning to panic, irrational thoughts now crowding into his mind. _What if she doesn't want to come back, because of what I said?  
_

A pained whimper escaping his lips at the thought, Hope tried to not let it get to him. _No, she wouldn't do that, would she? _After what she'd yelled at him, he honestly wasn't sure anymore—she'd sounded so sure in what she was saying, so utterly convicted in her beliefs. _What if she really left because of what I said? _

"Light…" _Please tell me… that's not why. Please…_

* * *

Exhaustion dragging at pained limbs, she'd finally been forced to stop when the last vestiges of the sun dipped below the horizon. The woods on this side of the ravine were at a higher elevation than she'd thought—the trees were on her left, while a steep drop on her right opened up to the Yaschas Massif landscape in the near distance. And any other night, the view would have at least claimed her attention for a few heartbeats: tonight, Lightning felt drained, both physically and emotionally, and her chosen tree trunk really wasn't all that much better than the ground until she remembered that the burn on her leg wasn't supposed to be touching the earth. Just how easily it could become infected hadn't escaped her notice, but there wasn't anything she could do about it now.

One hand loosely curled around her weapon, the physical discomfort of sitting on the cold bark was beginning to fade as emotional panic started to wreak havoc on the rest of her functional, cognitive thinking, invading her senses like a thick fog. _I-I didn't… _The events of this afternoon playing through her mind on fast-forward, Lightning realized just exactly how stupid she'd been. _I didn't need to shout at him, I could've let it go…_ There was no denying that the pained look in his emerald gaze bothered her much more than she had anticipated it to—certainly more than she would've thought so initially. _Realizing the one person you're close to doesn't understand you. _The moment she tried thinking things through from _his _perspective, she'd had to stop—it hurt. _Shit… Hope, I…_

The worst part of it was that she couldn't even go and apologize for it now—she had no idea where she was and the throbbing, stinging fire in her leg wasn't going to get her back to them any faster. With a pang of alarm, Lightning realized they could have as easily moved on as she had; there wasn't even a guarantee that they'd be where she'd left them.

The inner panic rising in her chest, that last thought had inevitably chained into another, one that she hated herself for thinking. _What if… he thinks I've left on purpose? _

"Maker… _no!_" The pained whisper was dragged from her lips as the fingers of her free hand gripped at nothing; heart rate increasing along with her breathing, her fingers found only cold dirt when it became obvious that it was something else her body—and mind—instinctively needed, as both dread and the despairing emptiness from darker days so long ago began to consume what was left of her grip on reality.

She didn't know how much the events of this afternoon could hurt until she realized what that '_something else'_ was.

* * *

***swallows nervously*  
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**I have a feeling I'm going to get so much hate for this chapter that I want to go hide under my Chocobo pillow now. *bites lip* Though this chapter _was _planned the moment I drew up the storyboard for _Revenant Wings,_ it doesn't make me feel any better that it had to happen.  
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**I'm honestly afraid to ask now - I did struggle _so much_ with the emotional side to this chapter, and I really, really hope I pulled it off, even if it is in the worst way possible. Leave a review if you're so inclined, and I _promise_ I will see you guys soon. Chapter 13 should be up before this weekend; I'm thinking Thursday or so, so I will see you all then.**

**Hearts!  
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	13. Cor Destructum

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
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**Oh dear lord... this chapter —the emotional aspect of it at the very least— was a struggle. I would've written the last chapter ten times over to make this one a little easier. But since I can't, we'll just have to amble along here...  
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**Thanks and love go to Guest (thank you very much!), Jack Hargreave (she didn't know it was there... probably should've made that clearer), my 2nd anonymous reviewer (and yes, I do agree, which was why this plot point was planned—arguments in a relationship are inevitable and really, it boils down to how one deals with it), GKMader (thanks so much, hun! :3), H-thar (I love you, did you know that? :D And about the thing Light was hiding, no, it hasn't been revealed—it's being saved, so no worries!), and Shievi (I'm glad—but thank you!)! You guys really know how to make a girl smile, and once again, I thank all of my supporters! (:  
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**To my LadyAlaska—all I can say is, I sincerely hope that Hope doesn't hate me by the end of this 6,000+ word chapter.  
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**The title of this chapter _is_ in Latin, but I do like what it translates to, so we'll leave it at that. I couldn't have written this chapter without my _Mahou Shoujou Madoka Magica _soundtrack—it kept me going and I swear the pieces fit my mood like no tomorrow.  
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**Enjoy as always!  
**

* * *

Chapter 13: Cor Destructum

_Steps faltering, she tried to run away— but the screams persisted, chasing after her like shadows clinging to night's reprieve. The flight of stairs in front of her seemed endless, twisting into an unseen paradox: a spiral of regret and despair that didn't want to untangle itself. Innermost desires and guilt churning into a chaotic symphony of sounds, Lightning tried to cover her ears with her hands, only to find that her limbs no longer willfully responded to her commands. "Stop," she sobbed quietly, hands automatically moving to her middle—an action surprisingly allowed by this nightmarish, twisted place—as if the motion would assuage her pain. _

_She was kidding herself if she thought it would really work. It took perhaps a few unsteady heartbeats to realize that the blood curdling screams were her own; the realization bringing down the last few vestiges of control she had left, she tried, once again, to get up and run. _

_A new, incessant pain tugged at her left leg, preventing all such sentiments and movements. _

Bright sunlight poked through woven branches, the milky morning sky greeted with a fresh dawn, slicing through the last remnants of the nightmare like a blade. Abruptly pulled into consciousness, Lightning realized she was lying on her side, head brought unnaturally close to her knees, the pain that had haunted her dreams not diminishing in the wake of awareness. One glance down told her how badly she was shaking; tightly wrapping her arms around her stomach, she tried to pull herself into a standing position. Head leaning against the rough bark, breathing coming in rough gasps, a longing, painful sense of expectation washed over her for perhaps a fraction of a heartbeat, before it hit her as to why exactly it was painful, and why it wasn't there.

Breathing escalating, the choked breaths were threatening to turn into dry heaves unless she did something, _anything,_ at this point, to soothe the frayed emotions that showed no sign that they wanted to let her go. _But what… I…_ Nothing she had at the moment would be enough to even begin to assuage _that,_ and even if she found _him _within the next few moments, should that even be within the realms of possibility, Lightning wondered just how long it would actually take her to calm down. Trying to force herself into a brisk walk, the pain in her left leg no better than it had been the day before, was unnecessarily hard—weights, crushing pressures pushed at her back and every step felt like it would cause her to fall over. _That_, she knew, was more mental than it was physical, but it didn't matter. _Damn it… Dammit!_

Dry throat unresponsive to the sounds her mind wanted to elicit from the back of it, she had no choice but to keep going, wherever the hell she was headed. _I just want… _ As much as she hated them, hated how they were proof that the previous day had left her weaker than she'd felt for a long time, the voices at the back of her head were beginning to chime into the rhythm of her slow steps.

_You wanted to distance yourself from him, you wanted to keep stuff hidden from him, didn't you? Now he thinks you voluntarily left him, and look at how that's left you! You try to think about how you're some independent soldier, but really, what are you? A pathetic excuse of a person who can't even admit how much your emotional well-being relies on someone else._

Hands moving to the side of her temples in a futile attempt to shut them out, her fingers found sweaty pastel pink locks instead of the intangible voices she wanted to strangle. _Shut up… Shut up!_ Stumbling forwards a few steps, the morning sun was harsh and unforgiving on the back of her neck. Tiredness dragged at her muscles even though she'd just woken up—right now, some senses were on overdrive: it felt like she could feel every single pebble and branch she stepped over, while others were muted in the disorientating morning glare: the only thing she could acutely hear was her own heartbeat. _If an enemy found me right here, right now, I'd be a sitting duck. _

The thought should have bolstered her resolve to keep going, but in reality, it had the opposite effect—she didn't have a chance of winning against _anything _right now, and for the briefest moment, giving up actually crossed her mind. _What's the point? I won't find them anyways…_

Just as that thought pervaded the remnants of control she had left over her emotions, she pushed it away angrily. _I have to find them… what am I thinking? At the very least, I have to apologize to him for what I said…and what I should've said._ There. That was something she could focus on that didn't hurt to think about—it was a motive, not an emotion. _And that's... something that I can _comprehend_ right now._ It wasn't something that spoke all too directly to what had transpired the previous day and it was something to cling to when the rest of her mental functions were slowly being consumed by the guilty, empty chasm yawning inside her chest. _I have to find them. _

Her fragile resolve was tested almost the moment she tiredly raised her head; the brightening sunlight messing with her perception, Lightning realized with an unfurling dread that her vision wasn't as sharp as she would've wanted it to be—really, she couldn't be in a worse position because she knew it was her body protesting against dehydration, something she hadn't even taken that much care to avoid in her desperate attempt to run away from the mental demons clawing painfully at her again. Through the deteriorating emotional stability that was crowding in on her consciousness—something that she'd experienced only once before, the one thing that she'd promised _him_ she'd try to prevent— she could make out faint figures standing near the cliffside. _What…_ Instinctively pressing her back against a tree trunk, feeling somewhat gratified that the motion didn't take much more out of her than she would've normally expected, she prayed to the Maker that the figures weren't what she didn't have the strength to deal with right now.

Remaining against the shadows of the forested area, Lightning gave her head a shake, trying to dispel the debilitating emotional weights pressed down on her shoulders and chest. Out of the sun, at least, she didn't feel as disorientated—she had a better grip on reality and there seemed to be less of a chance that the despairing, almost overwhelming sense of guilt could continue to toy with her. The hand that was curled around the gunblade was still trembling, and she clenched her fingers tightly around the handle, hoping that that would allow for better control over digits that didn't seem to want to listen to her anymore.

The hazy shapes in the distance didn't seem to have noticed her—yet— but she couldn't hear what they were saying, either. _I can't even sneak by there… can I?_ Normally, she would have had no qualms about attempting to get by the cluster of figures at the very edge of the cliff, but today, Lightning wasn't so sure of her ability when there were so many other things hindering it. _I can't stay here forever… who knows when they'll move? I have to… I have to…_ She cut herself off before she could finish that thought—all thoughts of Hope, or anything associated with him would drive her closer to the precipice she was making such an effort to keep away from at the moment. _I'm sorry. _

She didn't realize those last thoughts had come out as a quiet whimper until they reached her eardrums; instantly moving her left hand to cover her mouth, it didn't change the fact that those words were the painful truth. _No… I can't… I have to keep going._ Forcing her body into action, she tried to keep her mind focussed on the one thing that she needed to do right now—to find them. Lightning tried to tell herself that other emotions associated with anything that might've happened weren't going to help her, but _that_ was proving more difficult than trying to ignore the stinging, throbbing burn stretched down her left calf. Throat dry and head pounding from dehydration and emotional grievances alike, her progress was slower than what she would've liked. Painful rivets running up her left leg every time something bumpier than usual was underfoot, it was nearly ten minutes before she was in the patch of forest just behind the figures crouched at the edge of the cliff.

Their humanoid stances caught her attention for a brief moment; they were in the light and she was in the darkness, but the dark silhouettes showed nothing beyond the distinct outlines. In the constantly shifting autumn lighting, she couldn't tell how many there actually were—four or five, if she had to hazard a guess. It didn't matter—they hadn't noticed her and it would only be a couple of yards before she was out of earshot.

She'd been more preoccupied with the silhouettes that she had all intention of sneaking past undetected than she thought: without realizing it at first, her right boot had sunk into something softer than the leaf strewn forest floor. Disgusted, Lightning wrenched her foot out of the mud before it hit her: mud could only exist with water present.

Desperate now, she increased the pace, feeling the sense of a _purpose_ momentarily subdue the emotional panic that had been present—and ever growing— in her chest since the previous evening. A slight shimmer through the remaining undergrowth had just caught her eye when a fireball crashed through the woods from her left, barely missing her back.

* * *

The musty scent of underground tunnels wafted from the entrance to the Mah'habara Subterra as Hope stared down into the twisting paths. _I don't like the air here. _They reminded him of collapsing caves and being buried alive; something he'd been a little too concerned about the previous time they'd navigated these tunnels. This time, something else weighed down like gravity on his shoulders—one that made his earlier fears pale in comparison. _Light… where are you?_

Despite Snow's continued reassurances that she wouldn't ditch them, Hope could tell that even _he_ was worried by this point—it'd been over a day and she still hadn't turned up. _She can't still be out there angry… There're only two possibilities at this point: either she doesn't _want_ to come back, or… she can't._ He couldn't figure out which one hurt more—the fact that she couldn't continue to stay with them because of the way he felt, or the fact that there was something out there that was stopping her from returning. Both fears gripped his throat in tight, vise-like holds; suffocating and overwhelming, he couldn't shake them off.

In a rational context, he supposed that the possibility that she _didn't want_ to come back was preferable to the alternative—the former would at least give the reassurance that she was okay. Fists clenching at his sides, Hope wondered how things would actually come to be if it turned out that she'd gotten attacked somewhere out there alone. _What if—_

"Hey. We going or not?" Snow's tightly controlled voice drifted out of the entrance to the Subterra just a few feet ahead of him. Jumping down to join the blond brawler in the shadowed entrance of the maze of passageways, he could make out Snow's expression in the gloom. "She'll be okay."

"But what if she's not?" he mumbled lamely, starting to follow the fighter down the largest trail. Hope heard Snow heave a sigh.

"Sure. We don't know if she's okay or not, but… But trust me when I say that Sis can't stay pissed for the rest of her life—haven't I been on the receiving end of her rage all too often? Even Serah—" Snow stopped abruptly, and Hope heard him take a calming breath before continuing, tone dropping. "I don't think I've seen Sis angrier than she was when Serah told her we were engaged. Trust me… yesterday was _nothing_ compared to that. And hey, she forgave us in the end, didn't she? She'll come round—she'll come find us, aight?"

_I wish I could believe that. _It wasn't that Hope didn't appreciate Snow's quiet assurances, nor was it that he doubted any of what Snow was saying was true, it was that he was remembering what she'd said to him, a conversation in the distant past that felt like it was a memory created lifetimes ago by someone else.

"_It wasn't that I couldn't use the friendship or anything, but it felt like everyone I opened up to chose to leave, in some way or another." Aquamarine gaze lowered, the next words came out as a quiet whisper that Hope knew held nothing but the honest truth. "And I was afraid—not just of losing people, of feeling pain, but… what if I opened up to other people, and they didn't like the person that was underneath it all?"_

That hadn't been the first time Hope had realized that there was a fragile, delicate interior under the icy, distant mask that Lightning put on every day, but it was the one that stuck out now. The first time it had happened, it had occurred to him that most of Lightning's ferocity came from her abrasive, blunt attitude—stripped of that, as she was then, and as she had been after Serah's death, there was only a vulnerable young woman who was entirely unsure of how to handle the most extremes of emotions. And that, Hope had realized, what was she had relied on her entire life—by distancing herself from other people and by pushing them away, she'd ensured that those feelings would never have to come her way so that she would never have to deal with them. So when something that had happened that left her no choice but to deal with that overwhelming emotional trauma, she'd been helpless against it.

Snow snapped his fingers in front of his face. "C'mon, we gotta get going."

Somehow reluctant to keep going, but not knowing why and not knowing what else to do, Hope followed the blond through the dimly lit tunnels, memories from four years ago creating the path mentally as the passageway curved and twisted into darkness ahead. There was something off about the place though, and it was only when they came to a rust eaten bridge did he finally place a finger on it. "Wait… This place was crawling with Pulse automata the last time around… where are they all now?"

"Good question," hissed Snow from just up ahead. "Something we'll have to keep an eye out for. I'm thinking we should make our way to that stone carving fal'Cie, hitch a ride on it, and see what's up with this place while we're at it."

Since he didn't have a better idea of what to do next, Hope followed Snow down the single path. However, he couldn't shake off his sense of unease— _Like we're doing something wrong by going this way_, _like there's something I'm leaving behind. _But he didn't have time to dwell on those thoughts when Snow's thick arm stopped his progress. "What—"

"Sh." Peering around the blond's bulk, Hope saw what Snow already knew: the slow, slouching trek of a single Meurite was visible in the dimness of the Subterra. It had its back to them, but they were in full view of it should it turn around—Snow seemed to realize this the same moment he did; quickly dragging him into one of the rusted structures that lined the side of the path, Snow turned to mouth something in his direction. _"We're going to follow it."_

Nodding, Hope tried to focus on the sound of the footsteps over the sound of his own erratic heartbeat—but that was proving more difficult than it sounded as new anxieties came to drape over the older ones. Pressing a palm against the cold metal, the rust unfettered and untouched in the centuries that Gran Pulse had existed, his hand slid down to the teal scarf tied in a loop around the sling that he carried Nue with, a memoir from older days both good and bad. As the tips of his fingers touched the worn, smooth material, a thought he honestly couldn't help crossed his mind.

_This scarf… it kind of symbolizes what my life's been like ever since we made that fateful trip to see the annual fireworks in Bodhum. It was with me in the Hanging Edge, when Mom died… it was with me when we took out Orphan, when we helped end the Eclipse. But… the single most meaningful thing since… It was with me when I met her, really met her—it's funny that I was terrified of her to begin with, only to have what we had evolve and change into… what we are now. _

_Light, please be okay. I'm sorry—it was a dumb thing to get mad at you with and right now, I'd do anything to go back and chase after you the moment you stormed off._

But wishes, like Fang had once said, came from desperate people who would do anything to change their fate. Briefly, he wondered—_ Am I desperate?_ It scared him when he realized that he knew exactly what Fang was talking about.

* * *

The darkness seemed almost crushing the further they progressed—the dim light bulbs faint smears of brightness in the distance, Hope couldn't see anything else save for Snow's bulk only two feet ahead of him, and the continued sounds of the echoing footsteps of the Meurite. They'd be walking for half an hour at the very least, deep in some part of the Subterra they hadn't visited previously. Without the clinking of the Pulse automata that had been part of the Subterra for centuries, and the rumbling of the fal'Cie Atomos, the place seemed ominous, unfamiliar, and it gave him the creeps—almost like it was a dark monster resting in its lair just waiting for them to walk into its grasp. _Okay, now I'm just being stupid,_ he berated himself. Still, he couldn't shake off the unease that had been growing since they'd made the decision to follow the lone Meurite. _But it's odd… it hasn't noticed us, even though it's supposed to be able to sense magical potential, right? Ours must be pretty potent, all things considered, so why… _

There was absolutely no doubt in his mind that had they been so close in proximity to one anywhere else, they would've been attacked a long time ago. _So why… _Hope tried to put the pieces of what lay before them together. _The Mah'habara Subterra... no one really wanted to go investigate it—I mean, Atomos is here along with all those Pulse weapons… it must've not been worth the time for them to excavate it. So if you were looking for a place to hide something, this could be it. But that doesn't explain…_

It was then that the realization hit him in the head.

_Of course! If there were lots of Meurites here, then our magical signature wouldn't stand out at all—after all, we can't use it, can we? Whereas at least some of them who've been attacking us have been capable of powerful spells...right? _The realization tight in his chest, Hope inched forwards after Snow, who'd paused. Unable to see past his large frame and absorbed in his latest idea about what, exactly, the Meurites were doing in the Mah'habara Subterra, he hadn't noticed the sudden lightness at the end of the path. "Look," hissed Snow, pointing a large finger past the view.

Straining to peer past his thick arm, Hope had to blink for several seconds to get his eyes adjusted to the relatively-bright light that flooded the area beneath them. "It's an armory," he mused aloud.

"Exactly. This's a stockpile of weapons, see there—that's the one we were following. So _that's_ what it was carrying. This must be some weapon cache for them… looks like a war supply." Unease crossed the blond brawler's face for a moment before Snow slammed his fist into his palm. "That's it, isn't it? They're planning an all-out war."

_But why—_ Hope shook his head, trying to dispel the thoughts. _Their motives aren't important right now… _"So what do we do?"

Snow was busy scanning the area beneath them, and it was awhile before he replied. "Well, I see only a couple of those creeps in this place—like you said, it's gotta be an weapon cache, and this can't be their only one. Think we can take 'em out?"

_I was afraid he'd say something like that._ Still, he couldn't deny the opportunity before them. _If only—_ He cut himself off before the thought train could continue: it hurt to think about it. Nodding, he watched Snow sweep a cursory glance over the place once again. "Okay, kid, you've got your weapon; try to snipe as many of 'em as you can see before they all come rushing up here. There's only one flight of stairs—I can block it easy, just keep hitting as many as you can see, aight?"

"Got it," he whispered back. Moving out onto the rusted metal ledge, Hope got up –the stance that he had the most accuracy with— and glanced back at Snow, who gave him a thumbs up. _Alright… _He spotted one a few yards away from the ground fifty feet below them, but he couldn't see what it was doing. _Here goes..._

He could've sworn that the sound of impact was echoing around the chamber, as the shriek of the Meurite accented the silent action—he'd caught it in the back, not enough to kill, but enough to incapacitate. Hope saw it twist around in its descent to the ground, bird-like features twisted in shock and pain.

And in that moment, he wasn't here, but back in the woods, watching Lightning advance on the injured wolf Meurite, gunblade raised to attack position. Her harsh words echoed loudly in his mind: "You_ might be noble and not care about finishing it off, but to whatever's compelling these things to attack us, you really think it'll matter?" _ Tightening his hand around the weapon that had come back to him, he stared down at the remaining Meurites that were beginning to swarm for the rusted staircase.

"Here we go," muttered Snow. "Just keep attacking—I'll keep the rest of em away from us."

_Easier said than done._ A blast of ice had just missed his head, and Hope knew that he'd been right as to exactly why they'd passed through most of the tunnels undetected. _But Snow didn't think about them having magic, what if—_

"Hope! Take out the one that's using the magic before something hits us!" Leaning over the rusted edge of the banister that surrounded the metal ledge, Hope tried to pinpoint exactly which one it had been that had sent the Blizzard spell in their direction. After a few moments of desperate searching, he found it—half hidden behind one of the birdlike Meurites, he saw it raise its arm for another attempt at a Blizzara.

Ducking quickly to avoid the blossoming ice flower that formed above his head, his weapon found its mark, catching the creature in the chest and causing it to stumble back. Its next Blizzard spell was poorly aimed—the disabling attack had worked, Hope realized with a sigh of relief. Snow's yell of triumph as he sent one of the birds flying away from them resonated ominously in the large, spacious cavern as the big blond made his way inch by inch down the rusted stairs, fending off the attacks. But Snow had been right—he had the advantage in a narrow space; with only one direction to defend in, the brawler didn't even let any of the creatures come close. _And he's still got that gun from one of soldiers, _Hope remembered.

A lone yowl sounded above the unholy cacophony of sounds that rose as the battle escalated in ferocity, and suddenly, every single Meurite was in full retreat, heading for an exit he couldn't see on the other side of the room.

It was only when every single one of them had slipped through the crack in the stone cavern did Hope relax his stance, flopping down on one of the metal ledges that formed the ancient staircase, unable to keep the images from his mind. _They… they helped their own. _That much was undeniable—he'd seen one of the birdlike creatures swoop down to carry an injured comrade to safety. Thinking back to Lightning's words, he glanced up for a moment, finding only the shapeless earth brown surface of the ceiling. _It does matter,_ he thought firmly. _Because they feel… they think, and I'm sure that if we could only understand each other, at least some of this violence could be avoided. Light… I know that you've said that the only thing you know how to do is fight. And that… that's not true, because we understood each other—_ He had to pause there, suddenly wondering whether it was still the unspoken truth, when an unexpected rush of warmth filled the empty cavity that had existed in his chest since yesterday evening came with those thoughts.

_We understood each other. _The moment he repeated it in his head, Hope knew it to be the truth, a truth that hadn't changed, no matter what had occurred between them. _And we came from such different walks of life—our lives would never have crossed if we hadn't been thrown together by the Purge… Light, if _we_ could understand each other, then I'm sure… we'll be able to understand these creatures as well._

That concept wasn't a feeling—it wasn't something that the hurt and bitter regret of yesterday's argument could take away from him; for that, he was glad, because he needed something to cling to in her absence, needed something to focus on to not continue to dwell on it.

"Hey, let's go check this out, shall we?" Snow's rumble broke into his thoughts, and Hope got up, stuffing away the weapon before moving down the stairs to follow the blond. He heard Snow crack his knuckles. "Now… let's see what they've been hiding up here."

By the time he'd made it to the bottom of the stairs, Snow was already poking through the worn metal racks and shelves, running his large gloved hands over the weapons they contained. Looking around, Hope swallowed when he recognized the stationary Tyrant at the very end of the room, along with one of the tall containers that housed Pulsework Gladiators. _They're not… kidding around, are they?_

Fresh dread swam through his stomach when he thought of the sheer power the Meurites had in terms of weapons. _It'll take so many soldiers just to deal with _one _Tyrant__… how many could they have? _ The knot tightened when he thought about who could be using these weapons out there in Gran Pulse right now.

_Light…_

* * *

Stumbling forwards, Lightning whipped her head around to try to pinpoint the attacker that had thrown the fireball at her, almost instantly regretting the decision to move so quickly when her vision swam before her, the world tilting at a precarious angle. _Shit!_ She had to be really out of it if something could sneak up on her like that: the hazy figure stood not eight feet away from her.

She couldn't tell if it was the one that had attacked her yesterday, but at this point, it didn't matter—she was under attack and through the debilitating lethargy of her mental struggles coupled with the physical strains that the previous day had put on her body, it had the advantage.

The only positive she could come up with in her foggy cognition was that they were standing in a clearing: there were no trees to further obstruct her aim should the need arise for her to fire. Trying to calm her raspy breaths, Lightning tried to think. _How did I… Right... bullets won't work against him much—I have to get closer._ And on any other day, she might have welcomed the challenge, but today, with her body screaming and protesting all sudden movement, she wasn't sure if she could get close enough to deal a damaging blow. _I can't…_

She didn't have a choice.

The roll she employed to dodge the next fireball was sloppy, and it took her a few seconds longer than it should have to recover from the momentary disorientation. "Having fun?" the creature leered at her. "Pity he didn't finish you off yesterday—would've saved me the trouble of tracking you down. You've been on my radar since this morning, did you know that?"

"Go… to _hell!_" she spat, ducking under the thick arm that was swatted at her head. The serrated edge of the omega weapon caught the arm of the Meurite as she shoved it upwards with both hands, hoping that that would be enough to stop it.

It was—only, she hadn't expected the backlash of the rough blow that landed somewhere in the vicinity of her lower back. The impact sent her crashing to the rough surface of the earth; gasping for adequate breath and starting to panic when she realized that she couldn't pull the air into her lungs at a necessary volume, the only good that had come out of her attack was that the Meurite made it a barely few steps away from her before staggering and collapsing to the ground with a thud.

Exhaustion pounding through her slender frame in sync with her hammering pulse, Lightning tried vainly to get up—at least then, she had a better chance of drawing sufficient air into her body— only to grit her teeth in frustration when pained limbs refused to do what she wanted them to do. _I…_ Hand curling around the handle of the omega weapon, she froze when she heard faint, rapid footsteps from somewhere behind her. _I can't… I don't… _

Her forehead came to rest on the sweaty, clammy skin of her right arm, the momentary darkness proving soothing and cooling against the burning skin plastered with damp pink locks; in that moment, Lightning realized exactly how utterly helpless she was at the moment. _Please let that be Hope…_

The voices in her head wanted to laugh with brazen incredulity at the thought—and when she honestly considered it, there was no way it _would_ be him. If he wasn't angry enough—and rightfully so—with her to begin with, he was probably a hundred miles away, thinking that _she_ was angry enough to never go back. The moment that realization came into being, slicing through her faltering consciousness with a sharp, painful clarity, the full ramifications of what she'd done hit her in the chest like a physical blow, eroding the little control she had left over the bleak, desolate wasteland of emotions inside.

The will to fight evaporating on the spot, Lightning found that the only external thing she could concentrate on what the sound of the rapidly approaching footsteps. _If that's an enemy… _

She closed her eyes at the thought—she could imagine exactly how vulnerable she looked to someone else at the moment. _I'm an idiot… I never should've argued with him, I never should've left… because this… this isn't what I wanted!_

_Hope… when I told you the only thing I knew how to do was fight, when I told you that I was afraid that people wouldn't like the person I was inside… I wasn't lying. You kept saying that being alone wasn't right… but don't you see? Being by myself, shutting other people out… I would never have had to worry about that…_

So when the footsteps finally stopped, Lightning had fully expected pain to seize her body, because right now, she was no longer the predator. Worn down and having no choice but to accept the full consequences of what her impulsive actions had caused, she was prey—the deer that looked up through clouded eyes at its hunter, silently begging for release. And right now, just like the injured creature she was, she _welcomed it_, fully embraced what that might've meant.

Only, it didn't come.

* * *

***stumbles off to find something to hide behind*  
**

**Truthfully, I'm scared. I was scared of the emotional intensity of this chapter before I started and I'm scared of it now—it was honestly so, so hard to get out and I'm scared of the end product: here's to hoping it came out like I intended it to. I honestly felt like I had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon while writing—especially the final segment— because I'm just sitting there laughing sadistically, thinking "no one can feel all that, they'd explode!"  
**

**Anyways. Leave a review if you're so inclined and I shall see you guys next time! I did get this a day up early, but I'm fairly busy this coming weekend, so I don't think Chapter 14 will be out before Sunday or so.  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	14. Forbearance

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**It's late for me here, and I know some of you guys live on the East Coast (in which case it is _way _ late; that being said, I'm tired, so if you spot a glaring mistake or something, let me know so I can fix it D:), so I apologize for the tardiness of this chapter. This chapter might've been up on Thursday or Friday except for the fact that my laptop decided to overheat/break down/who the hell knows — I had to give it to my significant other, who's had it since. We honestly don't know what's wrong with it, and that means some bad news for the folks here following _Unwritten_ — everything (Chapter 15, plot plans) was conveniently stored on that laptop, so _Unwritten_ is on hold for awhile until we can coax my laptop to start itself again. Luckily, _this_ chapter was backed up on my USB, so once I realized my laptop was out of commission for awhile, I set my little fingers to work on my desktop.  
**

**Anyways. Much love goes to thewhitespirit (thank you very much!), Mylaervain (your vote has been duly noted), LawMan (and no worries at all, thank you for your support and compliments!), KeeepSmiling, GKMader (haha, yes it is****—**there're so many comments I think to myself in the process of every chapter), H-thar (here you are **—** but unfortunately, that's all I can say for the time being) and Lightarcana (and yes, Hope is adorable!). Thank you all!  


**I did use several lines out the Jpop song _Connect_, by ClariS ****—** I don't own it, obviously.  


**Enjoy as always!**

* * *

Chapter 14: Forbearance

A hand resting on the side of the railing that kept him back from the stationary Tyrant, Hope looked up at it, its blue armour gleaming dully in the dim light. _If this was unleashed on Pulse…_The feeling only worsened because he knew that the Meurites, in fact, _could_ set it loose—the damage it could potentially do was immeasurable. _And the question is… why haven't they?_

Snow had thoroughly explored the entire armoury—"_enough weapons to take on half an army"_, he'd stated gravely, scratching his chin. Hand gripping the metal railing tightly, Hope found that he couldn't stop thinking about the reasons _why_ they hadn't… yet. This couldn't be their only cache—it wouldn't have been abandoned so easily if it was— so the question had been: _What're they waiting for?_

_We know they're after people with high magical potential because in their minds, we're a threat. Whether they know that humans can't _use_ that—or can— we don't know. But why… What are they waiting for?_ Thinking back to the explanation of the attacks brought him back to a topic he hadn't delved in for awhile; in the light of recent events, none of which had been anything but painful, Hope realized that he'd never gotten a chance to explain himself to _her_: the amplifier that Carmine had offered them.

_She—I know she's against it, but…_But apart from it, what choice did he have? _I'm tired of being the one being protected, I'm tired of being almost useless in battle… I'm tired of watching _her_ fight the way she does because I can't do anything!_ Frustration welling up inside for a brief moment, the thought highlighted an aspect to their argument that he hadn't considered before. _She acted that way because it was going to attack me. _

The thought was painful, really—a new surge of bitter regret forming, the thought brought up one of the painful lines branded in his mind, one that he didn't think he'd forget for a very long awhile: "_Hope, the sympathy and niceties are nice, but it doesn't change the fact that it was trying to _kill you!_"_ At the time, he hadn't processed the line as thoroughly as he might have—_should_ have— because he'd let her fierce anger fuel his own, without pausing to think of the true intent behind the harsh, cutting words.

_Dammit. _

_Why do I always realize things are wrong too late?_

Turning his head back at the sound of a yell, Hope noticed Snow making his way over, several new weapons in hand. "Yo." The blond paused for a moment to look up at the blue metallic armour of the Tyrant; a scowl knitting his features, Hope saw him tighten his left hand into a fist, the black leather of the gloves protesting a little at the sudden stretch. "See anything you need? Cause we gotta go soon—those creeps'll probably be back with some new pals and we can't take em all on."

He'd been about to refuse Snow's offer when he thought of something, one that was fueled by earlier thoughts and sentiments alike. "Is there something _I _can use you saw?" He didn't dare voice his dark hope aloud— _While there probably won't be any amplifiers here, there just could be…_

Snow scratched his stubbly chin. "Well… I know you're not into guns and stuff, but why don't we go see?"

Following the blond back to the shelves upon shelves of weapons, he cast a cursory glance over them. _Bows, swords, axes, machine guns… _He couldn't shake off the unease that gripped at his throat at the sight; upon closer inspection, the weapons that shone dully in the insufficient lighting of the Subterra appeared to be aged. He didn't know much in the way of weapons, but Hope could tell that the weapons here weren't the ones used by the army—much heavier-looking and much more bulky than the ones that Snow had taken from the soldiers. Noticing his scrutiny, Snow leaned over. "Yeah, those aren't really up to date. Functional for sure, but it's got nowhere near the range or firepower of a current military weapon. I mean, they've got some nice stuff, but the rest of this is…" The fighter trailed off, clearly lost in thought.

Passing over the rest of the metal weapons quickly, Hope strained his eyes for the thing he was hoping he'd find here. _Maybe, just maybe… _Moving away from Snow again, who seemed to have developed a renewed interest in a row of bazookas, his gaze finally lit on something that was lining the very far wall, opposite from the container that held the Tyrant. Quickly moving towards it, his heart leapt when he saw that they were indeed what he'd hoped they were.

_Manadrives. _

Reaching the shelf, Hope stopped before it, carefully looking over the shelf of small metal objects, designed to be either fitted on a weapon or held in a hand. Running his mental list of manadrive technology through his head and comparing it to the items before him, he realized that these too, were somewhat outdated. _They look like the ones that PSICOM used back when we were fighting for Cocoon…_

The truth hit like a solid blow to the gut.

_Of course. They haven't been manufacturing these weapons… they've been taking them! And if the military's stopped using these, then they must've gotten them from their scrap heap, or wherever the military discards their old weapons. _

Giving his head a shake, Hope turned back to the matter at hand—it honestly didn't matter so much as to _where_ they'd gotten the weapons as opposed to how they were going to use them. _That part I haven't quite figured out yet… but with everything that we've found—and might still find—I'm starting to get a clearer picture. _Running his right hand over the metal weapons, he read the labels on the shelves to himself in his head.

_Bravera, Haste, Faithra, Shell… none of these are what I'm looking for!_

Moving down the line of shelves and walking slowly so as to not miss anything, he finally laid his eyes on the labels at the very end. _This is what I'm looking for._

The Blizzara manadrive felt comfortable in his hand; cold like the spell it contained, it looked like it hadn't been used for awhile—perhaps, it hadn't been used at all since it had been retrieved from the military disposal site. Gripping it tightly in his fist, Hope pulled in a tight breath. _I can use this. _The resolve wiped away some of the uncertainties and self-reproach over recent events, forming a clear objective through the murkiness of those feelings. _It's not ideal... I can't use it as freely as I'd use my own magic, nor will it last indefinitely, but... But Light? I _will_ find you, whether you're still angry at me or not. _Truth be told, he was slightly wary of her anger, _afraid _that she would return to her earlier approach of pushing everyone else away from her— _But I've gotta try. Light, _we understood each other_. That fact's not gonna change_; _I've seen you push everyone away like the whole world is against you and I've seen the side of you that you don't want to show anyone else — the 'Claire' that's underneath it all. So... _

"Hey, would you look at what you found!" Snow's interested voice broke into his thoughts — the bigger man had caught up with him, fondly inspecting the row of manadrives on the shelves. "These'll come in handy — they've got a limited use cap on them, but it's better than nothing." With that, Snow rummaged through the shelves, sparing each small metal device a cursory glance only before stuffing it in his coat. Catching his dubious glance, Snow shrugged good naturedly. "Hey, you can never have too many, right?"

Giving a small chuckle, Hope turned his attention back to the shelf in front of them. His hand had just closed around an Aeroga manadrive when the sound of rock splitting reverberated around the spacious cavern; whipping around, he raised his weapon just in time to catch a birdlike Meurite in the wing. "Shit," he heard Snow curse. "We've been here for too long — let's go!"

Setting his eyes on the rusted staircase that they'd come from, Hope raised the weapon he'd just taken from the shelf. _Well, I guess this can't hurt. _The wind spell crashed to the ground the moment he used it, but it felt off: there was no familiar rush of power from the very core of his body, nothing he could _control_and the potency of the spell wasn't something that he was satisfied with. A small groan of frustration escaped his lips — in retrospect, it was stupid of him to expect that a manadrive would be comparable to his own magic. _I really need—_

Cutting himself off angrily, he raised Nue in the other hand. _I'll just have to get used to it. _But even as he repeated those words to himself, Hope knew that in the long run, it wouldn't be enough. _These manadrives have limited uses too; the moment it runs out of power I'll be back to square one... _He caught the incoming wolflike Meurite with a blow from the boomerang into the shoulder, taking care not to kill it. _So long as it can't come after us..._

Backing away alongside Snow, Hope cast continuous glances back at the other exit; emerald eyes widening at the sheer amount of creatures struggling to make it past the narrow crack, dread churned in his stomach. _There's no way we can incapacitate all of them!_ This seemed to have occurred to Snow as well, because the blond brawler shouted something that he couldn't immediately make out in the din of squawks and screeches of battle.

Snow had to shout it again —several times— before Hope could hear him.

"We've gotta get outta here!"

Giving him a brisk nod in assent, Hope turned to the rusted metal staircase, only a few feet away from them now. "Go!" he heard Snow yell. "Hurry it up!" Not about to disagree with him, he whipped around to start the hasty ascent up the ancient metal, only to have one of the birdlike Meurites intercept him; Hope tensed — he couldn't risk an Aeroga on the steps when he didn't know how stable they could be, and at this close range, his weapon would surely kill it. _I—_

The bird lunged for him with outstretched talons; dodging to one side, the claws scraped at bare metal before the overshot momentum sent the bird spiralling out of controlled flight. Scrambling up the last few steps, Hope cast one glance back at the creature — Snow had sent it on its way with a well aimed punch before the brawler caught up to him. "Freeze the entrance. You've got a Blizzard manadrive, right?"

"Okay," he gasped out, reaching his left hand for the right one stuffed away in the sling he used to carry his weapon around as Snow raised his own in his fist. The ice blossom bloomed, forming a solid wall of ice between them and the cavern, the deadly petals reaching into the surrounding wall. Snow voiced what he'd been thinking.

"Well, hopefully they won't have one of those fireball shooting ones..." Snow trailed off before seemingly snapping himself back into the present. "C'mon, we gotta get outta here regardless — it's only a matter of time before they break through that ice some way or another." The blond set the pace for the harried escape through the narrow tunnels; more than once, Hope felt his shoulders bump into the narrow sides of the cavern walls — intent on putting as much distance between them and the Meurites as possible, he wasn't as careful as he should've been.

Breathless and flustered, heartbeat hammering in his throat, Hope felt a certain relief unfurling in his chest when the tunnels of the Subterra became somewhat more familiar — the musty air was less prominent here: with a taste of fresh wind, they couldn't be far from an exit. Stumbling after Snow, the sudden brightness of the Gran Pulse sunlight was like a painful blade to the face; eyes unaccustomed to the almost overwhelming light after the dark tunnels of Mah'habara, it was more than a few minutes before he adjusted to the new environment, the crisp autumn breeze feeling almost flooding him with a certain sort of comfort; a reassurance of sorts.

A soft splashes of water and the muted sounds of the fal'Cie Bismarck announced to him that they'd reached the Sulyya Springs. Hands on knees trying to catch his breath, Hope cast a cursory glance around the springs — in the years since they'd been here last, this was one place that hadn't changed: the same water plants still flourished by the banks of the still pool, and he could see the same glimmery moss that grew on the weeping stone walls. The familiarity of the place was comforting as well; something was gratifying about the fact that he recognized and knew how to navigate through the place.

"Let's take a breather. Don't think they'll catch up to us for awhile," suggested Snow, flopping down on a nearby rock. Obliging all too gladly, Hope picked his way to a nearby stone stump that looked over the still pool; the shimmering shadow of the fal'Cie was visible from this vantage point, but Bismarck couldn't reach him at this height. Breathing slowly returning to normal, he examined the manadrive in his hand with a closer, more critical eye — the glowing core that symbolized its power level was dim — tainted to an almost black, Hope knew that the manadrive had one more use, if even that. Frustrated, he tried to keep the angry thoughts from forming.

_If I'm honest with myself, I didn't really expect much more than this... It would've been nice to know if these things were a bit more durable, but it can't be helped now. _Still... _I need a way to fight. At this rate, we won't have magic after just a few more encounters. _The same tenebrous prospect of the amplifiers presented by Carmine gripped him — it was tempting, to say the least. _And I'd be careful. _The flimsy promise sounded all fine and well in his mind, but he knew that when —if— he presented Lightning with his argument, she would dismiss it in less than a heartbeat. It wasn't that he couldn't see her side to the argument, it was that by this point, he was _desperate _not to be the protected. _I wanted to protect her too... _A childish promise, spoken in a desperate time of self-discovery and sudden realizations, it seemed like it belonged to someone else now, as if he was watching someone else make that tentative vow.

The same roil of ruthless desolation gripped him when he thought about their current circumstance. It had been well over a day now; twilight was settling in fast, turning the cascades of water that crashed down the wet rocks a wild, untamed clash of purple and red, and Lightning was nowhere to be found. The brief warmth of the shortening autumn days was turning into a chilled night, the wind now having the first reaching, biting fingers of winter, and Hope found himself desperately wishing she was here, as silly and as naive as that sentiment was. The nervous energy seized him—wanting to do something, wanting to _move_ to keep his mind off the painful possibilities, Hope got up, stuffing his hands into his pocket. "Hey."

"Uh huh?" Snow's reply was offhand, careless, and he had the nasty suspicion he hadn't been the only one mauling over recent events. _They're like the one bite I can never fully chew nor swallow — too big to be accepted in one try, but no way to process them in a way other than as a whole. _

"Can we get to the Skyreach tonight? It'll be easier to defend, and we'll be able to see them coming." He hoped Snow wouldn't be able to dissect his real intent —to somehow keep himself busy enough so that thoughts couldn't overwhelm him again— from those words, the ones he'd endeavored to keep as light as possible.

Hope watched Snow chew through the logic to it, before the blond shrugged. "Sounds good to me."

Feeling glad for the easy agreement, he set his eyes on the opening to the cavern that led to the Skyreach; pulling in another deep breath, he clutched the faltering manadrive in one hand, the earlier resolve that had existed when he'd first found them worming its way back into his head, repeating itself to the rhythm of his steps like a mantra. _I'll find you. _

_I won't forget the promise that we made;  
And right now, I close my eyes, just to make sure—  
Shaking off the overwhelming darkness close to me  
I continue on._

* * *

Night creatures had begun to make their presence known in the grassy plains of the highest point in the Skyreach — Hope caught the occasional gleaming eyes in the gathering darkness; too far to make out a silhouette clearly, he was glad for the distance: none of them needed another fight at the moment. The height of the Skyreach was both positive and negative; while it was true that incoming enemies could be spotted well in advance, the unbroken autumn wind also swept over the plains mercilessly, bringing with it a hint of frost. Snow was already propped against a fallen tree, his soft snores sounding out of place in the otherwise silent serenity; Hope had offered to take first watch, if nothing more than to try and unravel the confusing, painful conglomeration of thoughts and feelings inside.

Finding a large rock to sit down behind, he was glad that it blocked most of the wind — from here, the large amaranthine crystal of Cocoon was so close that it felt like he could hold its majestic fragility in the palm of his hand. Its crystal shell was illuminated softly by the rising moon; tinting it a soft, glowing blue, he could see every single one of the uncountable crystal patterns that decorated it. _Fang and Vanille. _Briefly, he wondered what it was like, exactly, to sleep in a crystal tomb for the rest of his existence, if nothing else to distract him from the earlier insecurities and tumultuous emotions; not remembering much of the brief crystal sleep that had occurred shortly after Orphan's defeat, an arbitary thought crawled into his mind: _Does it feel _lonely_ to sleep for the rest of your life? _

Alone was never something he'd processed correctly — having been protected and cared for for his entire childhood, the painful solitude that had been all that was left of the life he was so used to living had been assuaged quickly: first from the desire of revenge, to... _To her. Someone I both admired and feared, someone I trusted almost instinctively without knowing why. _And after that, he'd never been alone in the true sense of the word. _Not until now. _

It wasn't that he didn't count Snow's presence or anything, it was that he couldn't... _I can't... what? Trust him? _It wasn't that. _It's just not the same... Snow's like... He's like a supportive— _Unsure of what it was, and not completely sure that he liked where his thoughts were going, Hope stopped. _Snow's someone I can rely on in battle, someone I can trust to make relatively good judgments about things at hand, but he's not… He's not Light. _It was a miserable little thought, like one that might've belonged to an abandoned child, but it was one he couldn't help. _Maybe this is why she insisted on treating me like one in more aspects than I would have liked… _

_And really, can I blame her?_

He hadn't been able to think things through from her perspective until he'd regained enough control over the bubbling anger deep inside to realize that their argument had been in many ways unnecessary and entirely unavoidable. _Sure, there're things that probably should've been left unsaid, but really… she was just trying to protect me. That_ had been the crux of the matter, after all—the one that underlay her entire mindframe, the one that he overlooked so easily because her overprotective traits were drawn out all too easily by the smallest things.

Breathing out a long sigh, Hope turned his gaze back to Cocoon, hung in silence above the Springs; eternal and unchanging, it would remain that way for the rest of time. _Light. I know I believe that we understand each other. And we do—on many planes, I know exactly what you're thinking and how you're feeling… and vice versa. But there're other times… when that's not as clear, where we could both use the added clarity. And that… that's something we've gotta work out and I promise that's gonna happen… so we don't fight over things that could've been much better articulated in the future. _

_Let's just go with that, okay?_

* * *

_Dewdrops clung to fresh, verdant leaves dappled over the ground, white petals gleaming in the silver moonlight. Bending down to examine one more closely, Hope had just cupped his right hand over one of the pale blossoms when a very, very familiar voice cackled loudly in the background._

_"That's a pretty one. You plan on giving it to Sunshine when ya find her, kid?" _

_Whipping around, hardly daring to believe his ears, he spotted the grey-haired Pulsian leaning back on a rock, red spear held in a hand. "F-Fang?" he spluttered, as the Oerban crowed with laughter at his expression; leaping lightly off her rock, she stalked towards him quickly, like a panther after prey. Shoving her face into his, she poked him on the nose, a disgruntled scowl lighting her features when she had to _raise_ her hand to do it. _

"_None other," she smirked. "You've gotten tall, darlin', no wonder Sunshine's fallen for ya. Though you seem to have gone and lost her somewhere along the way, don't you?" Poking him again, a critical expression entered her cobalt-green eyes. "Stupid kid."_

_Looking down at his shoes, Hope felt like he was a kid again, being admonished by a parent for misdeeds committed in the near past. "That's…"_

_She smacked him in the chest. "Well, it ain't completely your fault—Light's got her faults too. Rough around the edges, that's how she's always been. But you seemed to have dug a little deeper than that, havencha? I mean, if Sunshine's happy to have you kissing her, then you've gotta have done _something_ right."_

_Instantly feeling the heat creep up his cheeks, Hope tried to give the Pulsian warrior an unconvincing glare. "You sound like Snow," he mumbled weakly as she howled with laughter at the expression on his face. "How come you're here… anyways?" Desperate to change the topic of the unexpected conversation somewhere else, he was glad when Fang grudgingly obliged, leaning back once more on her spear stuck into the soft earth._

_"Well, when ya've got nothin' better to do in crystal stasis other than dream away or watch people ya've left behind… it's not hard to give yourself a free pass into the daily life of Sunshine and the Kid." Chortling away, it was awhile before the Pulsian had composed herself enough to continue. "That's not why I chose this moment to mesh our wonderful dreams together though; you seem a little gloomy, doncha?" _

_Taking an unconscious step backwards, Hope hadn't realized how true her words were until they hit home. "Well…"_

_"Don't stand there gawking at me, I know it's the truth. Lemme just tell ya one thing, kid. It's a little something I've picked up being a crystal up here—Sunshine's protective… a little too overprotective, ya might even say, of the things she's got. Unfortunately, that includes you— she ain't gonna let you slip outta her fingers without having them broken first. She's got a little problem though: she doesn't have the faintest clue of how to say it. So appreciate what ya've got, kid, cause that girl cares a lot more than what she lets on."_

_Unsure of what to make of this proclamation, for a moment, all he could do was stand there, trying to absorb what Fang had said. "I… I know," he finally got out, hoping that his words weren't too impotent or unconvincing for the grey haired Oerban. A small flicker of warmth ignited in his chest when he took in her words, all of them, for the worse and better that they embodied; the hope and despair contrasting on an equal plane, he found that he could cling to the positive better than he thought he would. _

_"Glad ta know that." Turning around, blue sari sweeping the delicate blooms at her feet, Fang turned to go. "Well, my little dream timer's almost up, but at least I got my point across. Vanille's waiting." The grey haired warrior tilted her face back one more time. "Ah, you'll be alright."_

_Feet tripping over themselves in an effort to chase after the Pulsian, Hope found that he couldn't catch up to her: Fang's silhouette was rapidly being consumed in the thick fog that clung to the edges of the peaceful field of blossoms under Cocoon's shadow. Cursing himself for wasting so much of their time on his relationship with Lightning, Hope realized that he hadn't asked her what he really ought to have asked. "Wait! Fang, what—"_

_He heard her cackle one last time in the distance. "Don't tell me you're _scared_ now, sweetheart. Trust me, if ya've got enough will, you can fight through anything."_

Her last words were still ringing in his ears when Snow woke him with a rough shake, his large silhouette outlined clearly against the milky pink autumn dawn sky, still dotted with faint stars. "Nice to see you actually getting some sleep, kid, but we've got company."

* * *

_Hands gripping rough, broken concrete in a stretching, unending pool of inches-deep water, the relentless rain pounded to earth mercilessly from the grey heavens; water running down the back of her legs in rivets, it did nothing to assuage the spiking pain throbbing through her lower back. Pink hair plastered to her wet forehead, Lightning dug her hands in harder to the chipped concrete, past caring about the pain it caused. Surprisingly, for such a heavy storm, the sky was light, almost impossibly so—if she wanted, she could make out the broken silhouettes of buildings on the horizon. Except there was no reason to: the storm was tearing her asunder here and now: there was no reason to look into the distance to see if things would be better there._

_The ground beneath her shook with a deafening groan; rocking violently from side to side, the stone and the water that had gathered on it seemed to be giving into the storm themselves. She was thrown onto her side by the motion; unable to find the strength to pull her body back into the kneeling position it had been in before, Lightning lay there, feeling the cold liquid wash over her skin again and again, watching the matted pink locks of her left side slowly fan out in the gathering water. An arbitrary thought crossed her mind. _

_"Is this… what it feels like to die?" The whispered words were quiet—no amount of the unyielding rain had any effect on her dry, constricted throat. And just as she spoke the words aloud, a new pain seemed to awaken deep inside her chest; only this one wasn't so easily comprehended and dismissed. The yawning chasm inside seemed to consume everything else: every coherent thought, every scrap of will she might've found the strength to summon, until it left her exactly as she had been before entering this realm: the injured creature that lay broken on the earth with nothing but despair and certain doom left to it; waiting for its predator to approach, she found that she _welcomed_ that moment—the release she was now desperate for. _

_And unlike reality, blackness swept over her like a wave, the falling sensation sickening and yet exhilarating in that descent. _

* * *

So if this was death, then it wasn't so bad. The plane in front of her was entirely unfamiliar, its blackness uniform and strange, but there was no sense of overwhelming loneliness, no sense of bitter regrets that was all that remained of what had been her life: the things she could've done… and the things she _should've _done.

And so if this was indeed death, then she embraced it, welcomed it, and wholly _accepted_ it over what had been the last few agonizing moments of life, whether they had been in the embrace of the merciless rain, or whether they'd been stretched between unsteady heartbeats that belonged to no one else other than herself.

The only thing was, she could still hear those heartbeats— the precarious thumps were still present inside her chest, being driven on by some unseen force. And with that unraveling realization, came others; sensations that had been lost to her along with the will to keep going were starting to return; tentatively, unsurely, but they were there.

Something was pressed firmly against her back: strange, but not uncomfortable. The warmth that enshrouded her wasn't just warmth—it was rapidly becoming overly hot in a way that seemed both familiar and alien. And on the heels of that realization had come another: Lightning realized that the dull throb in her lower back had returned, along with the stinging heat in her lower calf. _Where… _

A faint moan forced its way past dry, cracked lips. Gravity threatening to drag her back down, she opened heavy eyelids that were surprisingly all too willing to acquiesce to the action.

The unfamiliarity of her surroundings was alarming.

Unsteady heartbeat and ragged breathing escalating in tune with the rising panic in her chest, Lightning fought back the gasps, willing herself to calm down. It was dark, and although her vision wasn't what she would've wanted it to be, instinct wove tightly with perception, enough to let her know that she was somewhere confined. It didn't appear to be in some sort of building—the air was fluid and had none of the lifeless quality that she would've expected had it been a prison.

But that didn't reassure her—because that despairing, empty feeling was back, nibbling at the sanity that she'd managed to interject into her surroundings, the desire to stop _understanding_, to stop _fighting_, was overwhelming. As much as she hated herself for it, she knew she couldn't be where she would've wanted, nor was the person she wanted so desperately to see here: there was no warm, comforting presence around her; the presence that she would've done anything to have right now. _I…_

And suddenly, that was everything she could comprehend as Lightning slowly shifted slightly to lie on her side, bringing her knees to her chest in a weak fetal position, though the motion did nothing to alleviate the wasteland inside. "Hope…" The quiet whimper escaped her lips before she could stop it. _I just want… _

"So... she knows how to speak."

* * *

**I think I left you guys off at the exact same cliffhanger that I did last time, but tis how the story goes... *sighs* Though I'm loving what you guys have got to say about the plot—I'm just sitting there reading them all and it saddens me, kind of, because lots of the things won't be revealed till later on, so you guys'll have to wait. n_n  
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**Anyways. Drop a review (I'd love to hear feedback/speculations) and I'll see you soon! Wednesday looks like a good goal for Chapter 15, so I'll try to remember that. :3  
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**Hearts!  
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	15. The Only Thing I have Left to Guide Me

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings! _(Long-ass A/N ahead, you have been warned)  
**

**I do apologize, first off - this chapter is a day later than promised, but it wasn't because I was being lazy, I swear! I finally decided to finish and post a Hoperai oneshot I've been working on since May, and since I spent most of Tuesday working on that, it cut into the time I would've used on this chapter. That being said, I intend to dedicate a oneshot (Hoperai or not) for each and every single of one you guys - all of my oneshots are dedicated to my awesome readers/supporters, so if I haven't gotten around to you yet, don't worry, I haven't forgotten you and it _will_ come. (Though if you could let me know what you like, I could have a clearer idea of what to aim for instead of throwing Hope and Lightning, for example, into arbitrary situations that suit my little mind, but maybe not yours)  
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**Thank yous go to LawMan (thank you very much-and as for the HxL moment, well... that's a long way down the line, but it _will_ happen. Eventually. *sniggers*), madapocket (thank you for Hope's compliment - I've tried my own take on 'mature' Hope and I'm glad you like him!), Jack Hargreave (heehee, you'll have to wait and see for all that awesome speculation! And thank you, for the congratulations), and GKmader (good news - significant other has announced to me that laptop will be back in commission next week!) You guys are seriously awesome, and I know I could not have made it this far without you all. Thank you again!  
**

**Enjoy as always!**

* * *

Chapter 15: The Only Thing I have Left to Guide Me

Scrambling up from the dewy grass, Hope followed Snow's anxious expression to a trio of birdlike creatures, their silhouettes outlined starkly in the rising sun—black on pearly white, their ragged wings formed tattered patterns in the early morning air. Snow raised his fists to prepare for the attack—but it never came. The swoop of those wings washed over them both, the target of those claws clearly elsewhere. _What the—_

Watching the birdlike Meurites fade into the distance, past Cocoon's glimmering shell, Hope didn't let down his guard. "What… were they looking for?" Hand still curled tightly around his weapon, he didn't take his eyes off the spot that the creatures had vanished to; unsure if it was a ruse or not, he didn't want them to be caught unprepared again.

"Dunno," shrugged Snow, lowering his hands. "But it wasn't us."

_But they—I thought…_ "Why not?" The ignorance of those particular Meurites unnerved him—both he and Snow were standing out in the open, virtually defenceless from an aerial attack and yet… _And yet they acted like we weren't even there. _

"Hey, look." Glancing up to look up where Snow was looking, Hope swallowed when he saw more of those same bird Meurites, their outlines in the milky dawn sky growing larger with each passing heartbeat. But these ones, just like the ones before, swept by them as though they didn't exist. Watching them fade into the distance, he hadn't missed the feral look in those strange golden eyes. _What are they after? _And for the space of a moment, an agonizing, fear-chilled moment, the thought crossed his mind that they could be after Lightning, before the rational part of his mind kicked in—if they weren't interested in _him_, then they couldn't be interested in _her_. The thought was comforting, but it didn't completely alleviate his fears. _Whatever they're after… it's not good. _

Making his way to the very edge of the Skyreach, Hope turned his gaze towards the still-dark western side of the horizon, the side that Cocoon faced away from—the direction they'd come in. _Just what…_

As much as he would have liked to follow them, he knew it wouldn't be the smartest thing to do. _We'd have to go back through the Subterra—and who knows if those other Meurites are gone or not? _

The crunch of grass behind him made him look back. "So. What now?" Snow had his thick arms crossed over his chest, brows furrowed in thought. "We can't go back, and the army is for sure waiting for us in any town that we might stop by. Got any brilliant ideas?"

_Should I feel scared that I can only think of a few? _There was his earlier one, which had been to follow the group of Meurites that had appeared over the horizon this morning, or… _Or, we could go in the direction they came from. They've gotta have some sort of camp, or base, right? _In retrospect, the latter was probably the more preferable of the two; after all, it would take them away from the Meurites intent on hunting them down in the Subterra, and they could pick up more information if it went smoothly. _But what if we end up right in the middle of their stronghold? What then? _

Snow, on the other hand, was all for going in the direction the creatures had come from; looking back on that, Hope supposed that he shouldn't have been surprised—to Snow, like how it had been in old times, it was just another adventure in the notion of 'saving the world.' He'd had to suppress an amused smile at that. _There're some things about Snow that never change… do they?_

Setting off down the other side of the Skyreach, Taejin's Tower was at their backs this time as they picked a canyon path leading away from it, in the rough direction that the Meurites had come from. As he picked his way down the precarious cliffside littered with loose granite rocks and scrubbly plants, Hope couldn't help but wonder: _Is this the right thing to do? _He didn't know the answer to that—and suspected he wouldn't for awhile. _But it doesn't matter, does it? The only thing I can do now is go forward. _

That much, at least, was the truth. He had no idea where Lightning was, no ideas to where to even begin looking for her, and he had to admit that it wouldn't be the best idea to scour the Gran Pulse landscape for her, as much as he wanted to. _I want to find you. I really do. But… _Biting down on the inside of his lower lip, Hope cast one glance at the crisp blue autumn sky, marbled with wispy, fragile-looking clouds. _Please tell me you're okay out there._

The bitter aftermath of their argument hadn't quite made it out of his system—Hope found that Fang's words had done little to alleviate the utter regret that had been with him since—but it had done one thing. _It made me realize that I was sure she wouldn't have just gone off and left me. And looking back on it now… it was kind of dumb to think that way. _The unspoken words had hung between him and the grey-haired Pulsian, but Hope knew that Fang had known exactly what she was talking about, and had undoubtedly known the one thing that they'd both left unsaid. _"Whether she wants to admit it or not, Lightning needs you just as much as you need her." _

And _that_, that was something that he could hold on to, something tangible that he could hang on to—something he could _accept_ in a way that made him feel empowered enough to keep going. _It's the one thing I have left to guide me. _

* * *

Icy pain froze her limbs for all of a moment—reality brought the desire to get up and bolt crashing down around her as Lightning realized that her body no longer could produce the reaction her mind was screaming at her to do the moment those words reached her eardrums. Trying to feign incomprehension was pointless now—she had just as easily given herself away as unsuspecting prey into a well-set trap. Utter panic had overridden all other emotions for the span of several heartbeats: even the rising desperation that _he_ wasn't here was momentarily quelled by the fear of what could've been the predator that she was dreading.

The only thing was, if he was indeed the owner of the footsteps she'd distinguished in those last moments of faltering consciousness, then… _Then why hasn't he killed me? _The lingering question had her confused for the span of a second, when a worse question had wormed its way into her mind. _So if I'm _not_ dead… then I have to be more useful alive than I would be dead. So why… _The panic of _that_ thought was overwhelmingly terrifying, before Lightning realized that she didn't recognize the voice that had spoken those words. _If it's not… Then who?_

Remaining curled on her side, feeling sudden exhaustion flood her frame, she could make out the sound of soft footsteps—ones that didn't sound like they were out after her blood. The intense clarity of her earlier attempts to grasp her current predicament was fading; her heartbeat and breathing was no less calm, but a different sort of calm was taking over her limbs, like the aftermath of the rush of adrenaline. Replacing that acute sense of perceptibility was a painful reality check—Lightning found that the clinging emptiness that clutched at the edges of her consciousness was no better than it had been before. Temporarily alleviated by the survival instinct that had overridden all other senses and emotions, the wake of that moment of utter clarity had left her feeling more drained than ever.

She heard the footsteps pause somewhere close to her, before _someone's _hand rested on her forehead. Fighting the urge to lash out at the simple contact, she found that her throat couldn't produce the obscenities she wanted to shout. _Don't… touch me!_

That proved to be a bitter struggle—pure instinct rivalling with the lethargy consuming her slender frame like it had once before, so long ago. And in the end, that lethargy won: she couldn't fight back against it. "Sleep," came the gentle command. "We'll talk when you're better."

For a moment, Lightning was all too happy to oblige before the rational part of her mind registered something akin to suspicion. _Just why… _She couldn't seem to put the rest into cognitive, coherent thought—it was there, she knew, there had to be a catch, but for some reason, she couldn't put her finger on it. There was something else that had registered too, something that was tied to what she _thought_ came down to the crux of the argument that had occurred between her and Hope, but right now, she felt like her mind was full of cotton balls: nothing significant could be strung together into a coherent theory.

* * *

_Pale moonlight shimmered on ice columns. There was the steady drip of melting water; muted, and yet, each drop resonated like it was an instrument all on its own. But that didn't make sense, because its rhythm wasn't musical and there was nothing soothing about it. _

_For a moment, the distinct pattern of droplets was disorientating—she had no idea where she was. But as ice blue eyes scanned the environment around her, Lightning realized just where her feverish dreams had brought her back to. It was funny, because she _knew_ she was dreaming, but she was just as helpless to escape its coils had she not known that fact. _

_But this time, there was something different about the dream: she couldn't feel the usual panic or anguish associated with it. This time, there was no pain and no blood marred either her lower back or abdomen. There was no Serah whose screams haunted the edges of every conscious nightmare, nor was there the one single wing—of which she would never disassociate from her sister's death—to compound her current situation._

_So why the hell was she feeling so apprehensive, as though something terrible was going to happen? She couldn't shake the feeling off—they clung to her like chains binding down broken wings. Her fingers wouldn't stop trembling, and there seemed to be an invisible force pulling her back from moving ahead. Trying to dispel it, Lightning broke into a run—anything, at this point, to try and escape. But the further she ran, the more that same fear—one that felt as old as life itself—increased. _

_The ground, the very space around her began to shift. Ice slivers tumbling down, aided by unseen gravity, and turned the world into a conglomeration of shimmering ice and stone. And through that chaos, someone reached for her._

_Instinct twisting with recognition, it was with an almost automatic reflex that she made an attempt to reach back for him. But there was no strength in her limbs—whether it had been drained from her earlier attempts to escape, or whether it had been here that she'd lost someone else dear to her, Lightning didn't know. But whatever it was, she couldn't reach him._

_Their fingers touched for the briefest fraction of a single heartbeat._

_That tiny expanse of time might have been just that, the briefest moment in a lifespan that was meant to be much, much longer than that, or it might have lasted an eternity that seemed to stretch on in a timeless universe. _

_But that tiny flare of comfort and relief was short-lived, because it was gone the next moment and she couldn't see him anymore. _

"_Hope!"_

* * *

His name was screamed out loud in both her nightmarish dream world and in the all too painful waking world, and for a moment, she couldn't tell which was which. The blanket thrown over her shoulders was hopelessly entangled in thrashing limbs desperate to reach him, before her fingers gripped at nothing but air, then rough wool as they dragged across the surface of the suffocating cloth still wrapped around her limbs.

Gasping in an attempt to draw an adequate amount of air into her lungs, Lightning opened her eyes to what seemed to her to be nothing but black, before her eyes adjusted to the darkness. It didn't feel as though she'd been moved, but some primal instinct told her it was now night. _Wait… it wasn't… before? _Pulling herself into a weak sitting position, and feeling slightly more gratified that her body allowed that moment, she pulled her arms around her stomach, trying to alleviate both the rasping breaths that were threatening to turn into dry heaves and the fear that the remnants of _that_ nightmare had instilled in her. Bowing her head and wiping sweaty pink bangs off her forehead, she tried to focus on a regular rhythm to draw air into her body.

_Stay calm… stay calm. Wherever the hell you are, you won't get out if you keep… _She couldn't continue the self-beration, for the simple reason that she knew she wouldn't be able to do it, no matter how many motivational insults she gave herself. _If I keep… what? Because… I can't stop thinking about it, I can't… _Hands grabbing at the rough cloth that was still tangled around the lower half of her body, she found that gripping the scratchy material gave her something to focus on—it allowed for better control of fraying thoughts and gave her a better grip on the emotional wasteland inside.

Silence consumed the air around her as Lightning finally felt the relief of being able to pull in enough air to keep her erratic breathing steady and light; along with that came the liberating sensation of having her heartbeat slow down enough so that she could feel each individual pulse in the back of her throat. It was only then did the realization that no one had come running for her the moment she'd screamed out his name surfaced in her mind—and for a moment, she was relieved that no one _had_, until that solidified her earlier conclusion that wherever she was, it wasn't a place that was welcoming.

_But still… no one came to shut me up… Just where the hell… wasn't someone here before? _In fuzzy memories that felt, still, as though cotton balls were plastered around the edges of her consciousness, Lightning realized that she was no longer sure of what had happened the last time she'd escaped her chaotic dream realm.

Still. She wasn't about to complain to the fact that there had been no one there to restrain her now. Swinging her legs over the side of what she now knew to be a stack of straw, she examined the back of her left calf in the moonlight that peeked through openings in the roof she couldn't see; the angry red blisters that she'd seen there last had faded into a smoother baby pink. It still felt inflamed, but it was better than she could've hoped for in what felt to her like a short expanse of time.

Her legs supported her weight better than she'd expected them to—the first few steps were precarious; they sent shivers of nausea shooting up from her stomach and they caused the world to tilt dangerously for a few heartbeats. Refusing to give in to the debilitating sensations, her surroundings steadied after a few agonizing moments; reaching behind her for the weapon that she knew would give her a certain degree of comfort, Lightning felt a jolt of panic pass through her when she realized it wasn't there.

Taking a deep breath, trying to assuage the unnerving discomfort in the fact that she was without her weapon, movement in her peripheral vision made her glance up reflexively.

Feeling her breath catch in her throat, she could see the silhouette clearly in the moonlight that surrounded it. She didn't need the alarm every single soldier instinct was telling her to know what it was.

_Just where the hell am I? _

"You're awake." It was a statement phrased as a question—one that she didn't feel the need to either acknowledge or answer. She watched him carefully as he approached her, wary of any sudden movements in her direction; feeling glad for the fact that her new, acute sense of danger suppressed the despairing, empty feeling inside, Lightning pressed her back teeth together slowly, prepared to move away at the first hint of an attack, once again feeling the almost-painful absence of her weapon.

The Meurite noticed her tense stance. "I'm not going to hurt you. If I really wanted to do that, I would've done so when we found you in that forest." The tone was even, neutral, and weary, but she didn't buy it. _Liars are born, not made. _Still, she couldn't shake off the nagging feeling that he was telling the truth—_After all, if _I_ wanted to kill me, I would've done it already. I wouldn't've waited until now. _

"I don't believe you," she rasped quietly, feeling the words catch at the back of her throat.

The Meurite gave her a long, calculated look, as though he could dissect her thoughts just from the passive expression she was trying so hard to maintain on her face. That intention tugged at her emotional stability like heavy weights, pulling at barely suppressed memories pushed just under her immediate consciousness. _That's… Only Hope could… _"Be reasonable," he insisted quietly. "I didn't rescue a sick and injured human woman only to wait for her to half-recover to kill her. Does that sound like something any murderer with brains would do?"

She had to admit that it didn't.

Narrowing her gaze, Lightning took in the full appearance of this particular Meurite. It—he—didn't look like one she'd met before, but that didn't prove anything. Pure white fur and wolf-like facial features not unlike the one that had attacked Hope, though this one was able to stand on its hind legs, almost like a human. _No. That's not—_

"So why didn't you?" she hissed back, feeling frustrated at the fact that her throat wouldn't allow words in a volume much louder than a hoarse rasp.

"As stated before," he met her direct glare with his own intent glowing golden eyes. _Almost exactly like… _"We want to talk to you. And the Elder figured that if we saved your life, you'd be more inclined to listen to us. Though that doesn't seem to be working too well at the moment, does it?" He said the last sentence with a tone of dry humour, but she could tell he wasn't really amused.

Swallowing thickly, and wishing desperately that her voice could sound stronger than it was at the moment, Lightning took in his stance once again, trying to fight off the rising panic inside—the Meurite's words had already confirmed her suspicions, and that acknowledgement left her feeling as desolate as ever. _Hope, I… _"What's there to talk about?" she rasped quietly, raising an eyebrow in his direction.

"Are you going to come with me so we can tell you?"

_That_ didn't sound like a good idea. The Meurite had seemed honest with her so far, but she could never be sure. _He could as easily be hiding the facts from me as Carmine was. _He seemed to note her reluctance with a resigned acceptance, almost as if… _Almost as if he expected me to refuse. _And in retrospect, she supposed that it shouldn't have surprised her. _What's there to talk about?_ she repeated in her head. _There's still the fact that your race is trying to kill mine; that your people are going after people with high amounts of magical potential—_ Lightning had to cut herself off there, feeling the familiar emptiness close her raw throat and threaten her delicately balanced inner equilibrium. "If you don't want to talk now, that's fine. I'll come back for you in the morning." The Meurite disappeared through the flap of the tent, firmly tying it from the outside.

_Not a prisoner, but someone they can't afford to let go all the same._

She could rip apart the cloth with her hands, she supposed, but without her weapon, that would draw attention, and Lightning wasn't sure how much strain her body could take right now. Staring at the darkness into which the Meurite had disappeared, she raised a hand to her eyes to replay the last perhaps ten minutes in her head.

Trying to sort through it all was proving a harder task than she'd originally thought it would be—with doubts and emotions crowding in on her higher mental functions, Lightning knew she had to make sense of it before some other panic seized the last of the control that first adrenaline rush had given her. _Okay… Okay. _She had to admit that the Meurite was probably telling the truth when he'd mentioned that they weren't interested in killing her. _But that makes things… more complicated, because if I'm more valuable to them alive… what the hell do they want? _

She wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer.

But the Meurite had revealed a little more to her than he probably ought to have in their brief conversation; whether that was intentional or not, she didn't know. _He mentioned an Elder. So there's more than just one of them? _

Trying to make sense of it all was like trying to struggle through water with several sackfuls of cotton on her back. Slowly sinking into a sitting position on the hard ground, she wrapped her arms around her boots; bowing her head again, stray strands of pink hair grazed the top of her knee. The earlier clarity in which she had viewed things felt like an inner strength that now belonged to someone else — Lightning had been perfectly aware of the fact that that conversation had happened in the aftermath of her initial danger instinct. But with the threat gone, taking along with it the blissful clarity of thoughts fueled by adrenaline, she was left feeling drained and empty—not much different from how she'd woken up.

The cold ground provided some sort of a tangible hold on reality—at least this way, there was less of a chance that she would slip back into her poignant world of dreams. But the inner panic was rising and she knew it—the Meurite's words and mannerisms had struck home a little closer than she would've liked. _Hope… where are you? _

_I'm sorry... I'm sorry. I shouldn't've shouted at you and I shouldn't've gotten angry over something that I knew was going to happen sooner or later. And… I should've told you. _

The honest truth was that she'd wanted to protect him. And she'd known that he would hate her it if she'd said so aloud. _So I tried… _But that hadn't been the right thing to do either, because he'd thought she was hiding some big secret from him. Squeezing her eyes shut, Lightning clenched both hands into fists, fingernails digging into the tough leather of her gloves. _Why did Serah make it look so easy? Why can't _I_ do anything right? _

_It wasn't like it was a big secret, one that he couldn't know about… or anything. But I thought… _The piece of information had come to her by accident—in their search of the Paddran shrine for clues, she'd uncovered a piece of information that had really, only more or less confirmed what they already had known, but had hammered home something else that was painful and something she didn't want to admit. _We never actually knew how many people died in the Eclipse. But… Meurites had always been an oddity on Gran Pulse. They'd never been something anyone needed to deal with. And so… the only explanation for the amount that arrived is…_

That realization had hurt. And if it had bothered her enough for her to not want to accept it, she could only imagine what it would do to everyone else. _And I'm… I'm a solider. I'm more used to this than they ever would be. _Hope's reaction to the way she'd been only too ready to dispose of the Meurite that had wanted to attack him had only solidified her resolve that he _could not_ know about their origins. _I wanted to keep you safe. _

Except she knew that wasn't what she'd done, and—_It scared me. That I knew he wouldn't understand, and that I couldn't understand what he was saying. It scared me… because I thought we understood each other. That was the reason I… _The painful burn had returned to the back of her throat, along with the tearing emptiness that clawed at her chest.

_I wasn't thinking when I walked away from him… because now… _

Lightning tried to find something that would allow her to have at least something of a hold on reality, at least until morning. _I-I don't know if I want to hear what they have to say… or not, but… But if I'm going to get out of here… _

The voices in her head were back, mocking the thought that she could get out without being caught. _How much control over yourself do you think you have?_ Moving her hands to grip the cherry-coloured locks at her temples in an attempt to shut them out, her arm brushed against something on the ground near her. The fingers of her left hand bumped against something colder than the ground she was sitting on—smooth and heavy, it didn't take her a long time to place the identity of the object in her fuzzy cognition._They must have dropped it, or... _She shoved the aftermath of that thought away with as much force as she could muster—she could just feel gratified that the knife was in her hands as opposed to second-guessing whatever dark intent had been present to have possibly dropped it there on purpose.

Tracing the curved blade of her survival knife with one hand, it was something to hold on to, something to concentrate on in the wake of her faltering control on her own emotions. It could have been a weapon to get her out, but right now, Lightning knew that that wasn't the smartest choice—her emotional stability wasn't at its best at the moment—and certainly not at a level in which she could conduct a decent attempt at an escape without getting caught, quite literally, in the grips of a nightmare, but it was better than having nothing at all. Its weight in her palm reminded her—as always—of Serah, but tonight, instead of bringing on the usual wave of bittersweet pain that it always did, it reminded her that even now, she wasn't alone.

_Serah… if you can hear me, please… tell me how I can make things right._

* * *

**Hm. A tad on the short side for one of my chapters, but I thought this was a good place to cut it off without revealing too much of the plot in one chapter. (And to H-thar, there you go, hun - the thing Light's been all secret-secret about is finally out!) At any rate, it was refreshing in the sense that I didn't spend all my time with cutiepie Hope, but I do hope I got "my Lightning" right, as one of my reviewers put it awhile ago, Light's trying to keep it together in a situation, but she's struggling, to say the least. Anyways, I do hope it came off alright and here's to hoping I didn't bungle it somewhere down the line.  
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**That being said, it _is_ late here, and I've been working on this since 10am this morning, so if there is a mistake, please let me know about it. n_n Chapter 16 is going to take me awhile - I'm busy for the remainder of this weekend, so Monday is probably going to be the next time in which I can sit down and _write_, so don't expect Chapter 16 before Tuesday evening or so... *chews lip* Leave love as always, and I shall see you all soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
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	16. Conturbatio

**So hey all, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings!_  
**

**Wow, so... this chapter did _not_ want to come out easily. The first 1,000 words or so came pretty fluidly, but it seemed the further I delved, the more troll Hope/Lightning became. ._. Honestly, I'm not too big of a fan of how this eventually came out, but... oh well. It's just one of those chapters where I know it probably could've been better but haven't got a clue from where to start improving it.  
**

**Anyways... much love goes to LawMan, Jack Hargreave, GKMader, That One Reviewee (and no problem-I always like to share my favourite anime n_n), and my anonymous reviewer! You guys really keep a girl going and like once stated, I would not be the writer I am today without all of you. So thanks, all! 8D  
**

**Enjoy as always!**

* * *

Chapter 16: Conturbatio

Morning sliced through her murky consciousness like a blade. At first, the brightness outside was overwhelming, but it quickly became a source of fierce relief—no longer would the darkness be a catalyst to the dreams that she didn't want to slip back into. Muscles rigid with the effort of clinging on to something, Lightning knew that the pain inside her chest wasn't going anywhere. But through the sheer effort of keeping herself upright and the weight of the knife in one hand, she could feel gratified that it wasn't getting worse… to the point of incoherency. Fingers sore and cramped from holding the small weapon like it was her only saviour, she knew it had been worth it—she still had her grip on reality, and _that _was what mattered.

Footsteps outside reminded her that she wasn't alone. If she wanted those Meurites—whoever the hell they were—to take her seriously, then she couldn't look like some invalid caught in the depths of her own depression. Picking herself off the ground, limbs that had been in the same position all night protested the movement, but she ignored it. Pulling in a deep breath, trying to use it to alleviate some of the pressure in her chest, Lightning pushed messy pink bangs off her forehead and raked a hand through tangled pink curls, knowing that moving, staying active usually helped keep her calm. But surprisingly, it was the desire to know what was going on, to know how she was going to get _out_ of here that suppressed the intensity of the inner storm. _I have to get out. And I can't… I can't think that way if I'm going to get out. _

That resolve worked better than all the motivational insults she'd tried to give herself the previous evening put together. Retightening her grip on the curved blade in her right hand, she met the golden gaze of the wolf-like Meurite from the night before with her own ice blue gaze; willing the fingers of her left hand to stop trembling, she clenched them in a fist. At that, something akin to surprise flickered through those unnerving honey-coloured eyes for perhaps a fraction of a second, before the Meurite recomposed himself. "We still want to speak with you."

Once again, his tone was oddly flat—removed and emotionless, as though he was trying to keep his own emotions out of it. "Fine," she rasped quietly, hating the fact that her throat, still, would not allow her to speak at her usual volume, or at least a volume she would've like to speak in.

He offered a hand to her, but she didn't take it. _I can't… I can't show them that I'm weak. _

The bright sunlight was dizzyingly intense for a few heartbeats, and Lightning had to raise a hand to shield her eyes from its glare; using that time to look around, she swallowed at the sight of her surroundings—with tall rock faces and sand underfoot made of the same red earth, it wasn't a place in Gran Pulse that she recognized nor had heard of. _Just how long was I… _

Giving her head a shake, she made sure each footstep was steady and that it didn't reawaken some sleeping demon inside that was all too ready to tear her apart at the slightest hint of weakness. Glad when she found none, she followed the wolf-like Meurite into a cave set into one of the cliffs. The shade was welcoming, to say the least, before she noticed the group of Meurites sitting in a circle, clearly all pointedly waiting for her.

Swallowing again, and struggling to maintain her impassive expression, Lightning couldn't help the unease that surged through her body. _Who…_

"Thank you for coming," one of them began in a gravelly voice, sounding to her like he spoke through rocks. "We've waited a long time for such an opportunity."

Trying to not let her confusion show on her face, she bit back the question on her tongue. _What are you talking about?_ As if noticing her efforts to stay silent, the Meurite chuckled. "I know this must seem unprecedented to you—our race has done nothing but try to exterminate you humans in the last few months. But if you're willing to listen to us, perhaps even help us, together, we might be able to stop the coming calamity. What do you say, human woman?"

If she was honest with herself, Lightning _didn't _know what to say. _I just want… I want Hope to stay safe. And if he's going to stay safe… then I have to know how to fight back. But… how do I know… _

"Why should I trust you—aren't you one of them too?" The question slipped out all on its own, but it was no doubt an accurate reflection of how she felt inwardly. _I don't know… I don't know. For all I know, they could be working with Carmine, and… _

The one that had spoken gave a nod to the Meurite that had brought her in; flicking her gaze to watch the wolf-like Meurite disappear back out into the sunshine, she stood there, silent and now positive that she was right in her distrust. But after a few minutes, that same Meurite slipped back inside, now holding something in one hand. Her eyes widened when she saw what it was, and sharp shock flared inside when Lightning realized it was being blatantly offered to her.

Her omega weapon.

Taking the weapon in her left hand, feeling an irrational surge of relief and gratification at its familiar weight, she wasn't surprised when the Meurite began to speak again. "There. You're armed. We're not. Does this say something about our trustworthiness that we are _not_ your enemy?"

_No. It doesn't. What it does make you look, though, is desperate. So desperate for me to listen to you that you'd give me my weapon while you talk. _But really, even as she berated them inwardly, Lightning knew she was just as desperate. _Haven't I… aren't I desperate enough to find him that I'd stay here—with people I trust about as far as I could throw a rock—to listen to their plan? _

Taking, once again, her silence for acquiescence, that same Meurite continued. "I want to stress the fact that we are _not_ _your enemy—"_

"I don't believe you," she cut across him; hating the hoarse, raspy quality of her throat that didn't seem to be improving, Lightning felt a sick surge of satisfaction to see him flinch back at the icy tone in her voice. Taking a step backwards, her grip tightened on her weapon; noting with a grim determination out of the corner of her eye that the wolf-like Meurite had visibly tensed the moment her hand curled around the handle of her weapon. _Just because… you found me in a weak condition doesn't mean… _

But what happened next wasn't what she expected—instead of moving in to attack her, as she was prepared for them to do, the Meurite that had spoken held up his palms in a gesture of peace that was all too reminiscent of Snow's. "That's understandable… that you don't trust us. After all, our race hasn't given you any good indication that you should. But I can give you an explanation, perhaps to all the questions you might have, if you listen. Does that sound fair?"

_An explanation? _Narrowing her eyes, Lightning tried to balance the weight of that offer with the price of staying. Casting another glance over at the creatures settled in the cave, so very clearly desperate for her to give them a chance, she had to admit that it would be stupid of her to turn down the offer when it could be her only chance to actually find out what was going on. Closing her eyes, her chin dropped to her sternum for a heartbeat, as she tried to gather herself again; maintaining an impassive face was proving a difficult struggle, but it was one she was determined to win. _Hope… I… _

Raising her head slightly again, she pulled in a small breath before letting it out slowly. _Stay calm… stay calm. Thinking about him won't make things better. Lying to yourself and trying to convince yourself that you don't need him won't make things easier. Get a grip, Farron, you're supposed to be a soldier, not some lovesick teenager who can't stand the fact that he's not here. _"Fine," she rasped after a long silence. _I'll listen. And then I'll figure out a way to get outta here._

* * *

Twilight cast its purplish fingers of shade across the skies above the desert, turning the golden-brown dust and rock into dark stone lined with reddish shadows. The first stars were beginning to break out in the deep royal blue stretched across the unfamiliar Gran Pulse landscape, but Lightning made no attempt to move from her position—back pressed against still-warm stone, she was stretched out on a slab of smooth rock that jutted out above the Meurite camp, careful to keep the tender skin of her left calf above the rock. Closing her eyes for a moment, she let the breeze play with her hair, trying to use the familiar sensation amidst unfamiliar sights and sounds to relax. It didn't work, but it gave her some time to sort through the things that she'd heard—and seen—since this morning.

Surprisingly, her mind was blissfully clear when she thought back on it; deciding not to question as to why that had been, Lightning tried to focus, instead, on the most important pieces of information she'd been given.

"_You know what Meurites are, correct?"_

She'd narrowed her eyes at that—if she didn't know that, she might as well have been walking around with her eyes closed. But the next words had chilled her in a way their mannerisms and appearances couldn't: _"Then you must also know about their origins."_

That was one of the points in the conversation in which she wasn't completely certain she'd been coherent, because those words had hit home a little too hard. _It's my—our—fault that… _ Trying to shut out her inner misgivings and turmoil, she'd tried to answer that question with as much force as she could muster. It hadn't been easy, because it had been at that point that certain memories had begun to toy with her delicately balanced emotional stability, but she hadn't come out looking much the worse for it. _I dealt with it better than I thought I could. _

"_The problem is that the Meurites born since the Eclipse, perhaps from the Eclipse itself, are too numerous for them all to live where we all once did. So they moved—perhaps a little too close to the new human civilizations on Gran Pulse, because they soon began fighting for the little resources that Gran Pulse has to share. We're not sure what incident sparked it, but it was soon after that that they began their full on invasion of the human race." _

There had been a long pause after that, in which she'd tried to grasp what they were saying—and finally, it came to her; like a blade slicing through murky thoughts, it struck her with the sudden clarity of the direness of the situation. _They wanted to wipe us all out… because we're all competing for the same resources. _The Meurite that had spoken had given her a long, calculated look, as though he understood the sharp flare of desperation in her eyes.

"_I see you understand the gravity of this situation. However—"_

But the moment he'd tried to go on, she'd gotten angry, her fury overriding the earlier precariousness of her situation. _Why didn't you do anything about it, instead of sitting here and waiting for someone like me to wander into your path? Why didn't you try to stop them, if you're so keen on doing the 'right thing'?_

The weariness of the answer to that question had gotten under her nerves, but not in a bad way, and not in a way that Snow could—it reminded her of her own helpless weariness when she tried to answer her own questions. _They can't win. They know that. _

"_We cannot convince Volechek, their leader, the one who arranged all of this, that fighting will solve nothing. We can't convince him to stop hunting humans with high magical potential, so…"_

"So you needed someone like me to come along… and hope that I would be able to convince everyone else I know to help you in making them understand," she finished out loud, gazing once more at the indigo sky. _I can't even see Cocoon from this goddamn place… _Clenching her left hand together, Lightning drew the gunblade from behind her back to hold it in her lap—the serrated edge of her omega weapon glinted in the darkness, but tonight, there was nothing for it to attack and there was nothing to use it to escape _from._

The moment they had finished their story, all she could comprehend, all she could think of was… _You've got the wrong person._ That had been the only thing she felt like saying back to them, the only thing she thought accurately reflected her inner struggles. _Because it's true. It's not someone like me you want… someone who only knows how to fight. You want someone like Hope, who… _That thought had been too painful to continue, but no one had pressed her for an answer.

Burying her face in her hands, his name was a ragged whisper that was almost drowned by the night breeze. "Hope…" _I can't… I can't do this anymore. I can't stand here and agree to help them when I know I have my own misgivings about… It's _him_ you want, someone who can see past the outer appearance of an enemy and… _

The utter desire to run, to escape, seized her like the sun seized flaxen wings in the summertime—the concept of _'away'_ was the one thing she wanted to grasp in her hands, but her body wouldn't move, as though invisible chains tied her down to this one spot on the earth. Fighting against it as her breathing escalated, Lightning realized it was the inner emotional wasteland warring with rational thought once more; the empty chasm in her chest had been temporarily alleviated by the revelations of this afternoon, but had been brought on again almost instantaneously by thoughts of Hope. She _knew_ trying to run would be useless and would only end up probably getting her killed, but right now, it was that release she wanted.

_Serah… I promised that I wouldn't fail anyone else. I promised that I'd try and do things right… this time around. But things don't change as easily as I might've wished it to… _I_ don't change as easily as I might've wanted to. Because I'm making the same mistakes… all over again._

_I swore that I wouldn't lose someone else I cared about… and now, I don't know if I haven't already. I told myself that I'd try to do things right this time, so that I wouldn't wake up and be afraid of looking at everything because it's a regret I can fix—but right now, it feels that way: I swore I'd try to protect him and I can't even do that. _

The thumb of her left hand rubbed absentmindedly against the curved, smooth metal of her gunblade as overwhelming tiredness took over her limbs at the thought, reminiscent of the way the will to fight had all but evaporated back in the forest near the Sulyya Springs the moment she had realized what the full ramifications of her impulsive decision had been.

Drifting into an uneasy realm between consciousness and unconsciousness, Lightning tried futilely to ward off the rising anxiety in her chest—it was no longer an uncontrolled panic, but as to why that was, she didn't know. It was as though she could no longer hold that panic inside, as if her body had already experienced that particular emotion to its very boundaries and could hold no more. But the empty, aching chasm, the one that told her that _he_ wasn't there, was as dominant as ever, and Lightning doubted it would ever go away, unless… _Unless…_

* * *

_It was that same sound of dripping. Muted and subdued by otherworldly noises she couldn't place, each note was as resonant as she remembered them to be. And just like the last time she had been in this chaotic dimension, she _knew_ she'd been caught in the merciless realm of dreams once again._

_But this time, as she progressed forward into that expanse where light and darkness existed on an equal plane, it felt as though each step was another step forward onto a bed of knives. Looking ahead, she didn't see anything that could have caused that phenomenon, but those stabbing feelings persisted. Ignoring it, she was determined to keep going. For what, she didn't know, but Lightning had the feeling that there was something she wanted desperately here—something that she couldn't exist without._

_Phantom limbs stretched around her to slither up and down her arms, finally settling into a position just around her ribcage, holding her back. Struggling was absolutely futile—but there was no need to. That presence was one she would've known anywhere, but trying to work her throat into something that would allow her to say his name out loud was a battle that had been lost before it had even begun. _

_But this was no longer a nightmare, because _he_ was here… and if Hope was here, then there was nothing else for her to worry about… right? _

_She couldn't have been more wrong._

_It was at that moment, the moment that she so foolishly relaxed, that blinding light crashed into them both, the Ruin spell ravaging both their bodies, turning them into marionettes that could've been Death's playthings. And still, her throat wouldn't allow her to scream his name out loud. Locked into silence, with his fading presence still beside hers, there was nothing to do but to cling to the slippery floor in an attempt to escape painful clutches that held both of them in its deadly vise._

_And just like the rhythm of their faltering heartbeats, that dripping around them continued, drip by resonating drip._

* * *

Jerked into alertness by the rising glare of the milky morning sun, she fought it for all of a moment: the dry heaves, the sickening sensation of nausea, and the sense that she wasn't alone. A slender hand reached for her shoulder before she brushed it off angrily, pushing herself to a standing position.

Lightning found herself looking into the golden eyes of the same Meurite who'd come to fetch her the previous morning; fighting the dire urge to throw up, the phantom pain from the dream-turned-nightmare still prickling along her lower back. "Are you okay?"

She didn't think she'd missed the concern in those eyes, but she brushed past him angrily, determined to fight back the debilitating nausea and to disregard how badly she was shaking. "I'm fine," she snapped hoarsely, glad that her voice, at least, wasn't going to give away how much that one dream had unnerved her.

_Hope…_

* * *

Morning sunlight beat down mercilessly in the exposed Gran Pulse landscape as Hope struggled to keep his balance on the precarious cliffs that seemed to be all that they'd seen since leaving the Sulyya Springs behind. The pale, loose rock beneath his feet seemed to crumble at the slightest touch and he worried that each step would be his last. _Calm down; there's no need to worry to the point where you can't think about anything else. _

Snow's crunching footsteps were just in front of his—at least, some reassurance to the fact that Snow hadn't gone tumbling over a cliff edge to his doom made its way into his consciousness; Hope was glad for the comfort that it provided, because he hadn't mustered the inner resolve to tell the blond brawler about the unnerving nightmare he'd had the night before. And for the first time, in the panicked aftermath of the vivid dream, did he fully sympathize with the ones that plagued Lightning all the time—he'd had his fair share of bad dreams in his childhood, but he'd never had one like _that_. The intensity of its vestiges had been enough—enough to make him shake his head when Snow asked him if something was wrong.

At first, the dream had been disorientating—he hadn't known where he was, and that fact had unnerved him; wandering in the confusing labyrinth, he'd slowly gotten a grip on his surroundings, before the recognition hammered home something else, a painful realization that gripped at his chest. _This is… _He'd only seen the shifting shades of blue and black once before in his life, but what had happened there four years ago was hard to forget. _Scratch that. I'll _never_ forget what happened there. _

He didn't think he'd been imagining his relief when he'd finally found her—pastel pink hair standing out in the shifting gloom, he'd run after her, that same relief flaring in his chest when Hope realized that it was possible to run after her. For some reason, his throat wouldn't work; no matter how hard he tried to call her name, he couldn't seem to. But he'd finally managed to catch up to her, and there was no mistaking the tidal wave of contentment that had washed over him when she not only acknowledged but wholeheartedly _accepted _his gesture of affection. Inhaling the smell of her hair, Hope had wanted that gesture to say what his throat wouldn't.

But that happy moment had been short-lived, before a Ruin spell had hit them both. Coughing and retching silently against the tear of agony in his lower back—throat and lungs still refusing to create any sound, even in pain— his fingers had scrabbled uselessly against the slippery floor; his side had been pressed against hers and he could hear her draw shuddering gasps of breath. Fighting to stay awake, his mind had registered only one thing: the steady drip of melting ice, creating a steady rhythm his heart could no longer maintain.

And that had been the moment he'd jerked awake into awareness, gasping for breath in the cool autumn morning air, heartbeat pounding in his throat with a wild frenzy that he rarely experienced outside of combat. _Just what… Why did I have a dream like that?_

It didn't make sense—he'd been separated from Lightning for over a week now and if nightmares were going to come and haunt him—_Wouldn't they have come that very first night, instead of now? _He couldn't shake off the lingering thought that the dream had come from something else. _Like… like a premonition. _And as much as he hated himself for that thought, as much as he wanted to strangle those nagging feelings in the back of his mind telling him that it _was_ going to happen, Hope couldn't deny the fact that he didn't think it was an ordinary dream. _I… _

A rough shove to his shoulder snapped him out of his anxious musings—Snow had pushed him out of the way of a tumbling slab of rock. "You can think about whatever the hell's bothering you later, kid!" growled the blond brawler. "We've got company."

Looking up sharply, Hope could make out the outlines of _something_ above them, but he didn't have a chance to discern exactly what they were before the creatures sent another tumbling shower of rock and earth down on their heads—though it wouldn't be hard to guess. Ducking, and pressing his body against the cliff face, he tried to think. _I can't use a powerful spell here—it might collapse the whole thing. But we can't just sit here and take it… can we? _Glancing up again, he was thankful for the shelf of rock that shielded him from most of the earthen barrage—_But it won't hold long… if they keep this up. _

"Hey." The quiet hiss came from somewhere to his left; turning his head around, Hope spotted Snow crouched beneath a scrubbly bush of some sort, one hand held over his head. "On the count of three, we're gonna use a spell, got it?"

"But—"

"Just trust me, aight?" Taking in Snow's determined gaze, he breathed in a long breath, tasting the earth motes in it and knowing that they would be waiting here for their deaths if they didn't do _something._ Swallowing, Hope fingered the cold metal of one of the manadrives he had stowed away—he couldn't be sure which one it was, but that didn't matter right now: any spell would do. Keeping one eye on Snow, he cast another glance up at the Meurites above them—neither the sound nor the sensation of rocks being pushed down the precarious, unstable cliffs had stopped and he could see the shielding ledge above him was beginning to weaken.

The brawler held up three fingers.

Hope could see that several of the Meurites were making an effort to dislodge one of the larger boulders that was perched precariously on the very edge of the shelf of rock just above him—the thought of that tumbling down the mountainside made his knees feel weak.

Snow put down a finger.

A loud screech came from somewhere above him: one of the birdlike Meurites had gotten caught in the path of a falling rock in the attempt to dislodge it. Gravel was starting to shift down faster now, landing on his shoulders. Hope retightened his grip on the manadrive, raising it in his left hand in preparation for the coming attack.

One.

The Aeroga and Blizzara hit the spot where the Meurites had been at the exact same heartbeat. From the screeches and the yowls that came from above their heads, it sounded like the two spells had indeed done what Snow had intended them to do—but it had caused something else. The tipping boulder that had been threatening to fall from the ledge above them had broken free of its earthly chains and Hope could hear it beginning to slide down the slope.

Diving to one side, he turned his head back to see it tumble in free fall down the side of the mountain, bringing a landslide of earth and mud along with it.

* * *

***coughs lightly***

**I like cliffhangers, did you know that? Anyways, there were some serious topics introduced in this chapter—for once, I revealed a _lot_ of the storyline in one go, but there's still one last plot point (in terms of storyline) to touch on that'll be introduced soon. There were several points I was hoping you'd all catch, but the main one was the dream. I won't say more about it than I should right now, but let's just say that the dream sequence wasn't arbitrarily chosen. :3  
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**At any rate, right now, I'm looking at my storyboard, and honestly, I think _Revenant Wings_ is gonna be long if I include every single plot point I originally came up with. And I mean, really long; long as in longer than _Nascent Requiem. _To be honest, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not—so I'd really, really like to hear all your opinions as to how you'd like it to come out.**

**So yeah, that is my question to you all this time around—I'd really appreciate feedback and I will love you forever if you scroll down to type a little something in the review box just beneath all this to let me know. :3 Chapter 17 will... probably take me awhile—Thursday? I'm thinking either Thursday evening or Friday afternoon, so I'll see you guys soon!**

**Hearts! **


	17. Umbra Nigra

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**Yay, two days isn't that long of a wait, right? I'm pretty proud of myself—this chapter came so much more naturally than the last (though it has been combed through at least two times from the initial draft) and that makes me a happy camper. :D  
**

**Thanks and love go to GKMader (don't get too comfy just yet—there'll inevitably be more), LawMan (ahaha, very funny—you'll have to stay tuned to find out why I decided to include _that_ little bit there), That One Reviewee (thank you so much, hun!), and Mylaervain (and no worries at all, you've been amazing!). As stated before, I always love my supporters and it makes me happy to know that you guys want to find out what happens next.  
**

**On that note, you guys are totally welcome to add me somewhere (like FB/MSN—just PM me) to see if you can't catch me in a weak moment to spill the beans or something, lol. (Or to give me a prod when I should be writing) I've already got a couple of people doing just that—it's gratifying and yet infuriating cause there're some things I can say, and some that I can't. Herr...  
**

**Enjoy as always!**

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Chapter 17: Umbra Nigra

No matter how fast she pushed her body to walk, the nausea that had seized her slender frame since the aftermath of the nightmare wasn't dissipating. The brief distance from her chosen cliff ledge back down to the Meurite camp couldn't have been more than a mile or so, but strangely, the effort it had taken was much more than she would've anticipated. _What the hell… is wrong with me? _ Lightning couldn't find a real reason for the uncalled-for exertion that last night had put on her body—apart from _that_ nightmare, there was nothing else. _And it's not like I haven't had nightmares before… so why the hell is my body reacting this way? _Admittedly, the dream hadn't been expected— unnervingly so— and with a still less-than-competent emotional stability right now, she would've expected some unpleasant side effects to such a dream, but still… _It shouldn't have elicited this kind of response._

It hadn't taken her long to notice that she was still fighting trembling limbs and an elevated breathing rate. _I can't… I can't get it out of my mind. Why… Why was he there—Who… Just who attacked us? _There was something about the overwhelming aftereffects of the dream that nagged at her—_Normally, I'd be able to calm down after waking up and knowing it was a nightmare. But this time… I _knew_ I was dreaming and I still can't get these damn images out of my head. Just what… _Swallowing, Lightning paused for a moment outside the entrance to the caves that led to the Meurite camp, trying to force her features back into something that resembled her usual impassive composure lest her weakness be spotted by some vengeful Meurite. She still wasn't sure if she trusted the Meurite Elder's words that there was no one in the camp that would've wanted to harm her—and she wasn't going to take chances. _I'll just have to remember to—_

But really, whatever resolve she might've cooked up that _sounded_ all fine and well in her mind, didn't exactly come to be that way in the physical world. She could've told herself to stop lamenting—to stop _thinking_—as easily as she could've sawed off her own legs.

Quick footsteps behind her told her that the wolf-like Meurite who'd obviously been ordered to go looking for her was _still_ following her. Pausing, Lightning debated with herself whether it would be worth the effort it would take to acknowledge that presence—she would've liked to dissuade him from his current orders, but she wasn't quite sure if her still-frayed emotions would allow for the message she _wanted_ to get across. _For all I know, I could be waving a white flag and shouting 'Come and get me—I'm vulnerable right now!'_

After a few heartbeats of self-debate, she decided that taking the risk of exposing more of her weakness than she would've liked was worth the exchange for solitude; at least then, she could think through things without chance of discovery. "Will you stop following me?" Her voice—to her annoyance—was still really no stronger than a quiet rasp; she still felt as though a bunch of thistles had been taped to the back of her throat, but Lightning hoped that the tone would be enough. _Just… leave me alone. I don't need you tagging along after me all the time—especially when I'm trying to think of a way to get out of here. _

The footsteps behind her stopped abruptly—but she didn't turn around. Crossing her arms over her chest, Lightning waited until the Meurite drew level with her, wearing a somewhat irritated, abashed expression on his face. And just like that, once again, she was struck by how easily her instincts could've mistaken him for an enemy—if he'd been armed, and if those footsteps were only perhaps several paces faster than they had been, she was sure that her reflexes would've commanded her to pull out her weapon. "The elders don't want you wandering off," the Meurite said simply. "They were worried about you when you didn't return last night."

For some reason, those words pulled at a nerve; as her anger reached through the bleak emotional wasteland, her mind pushed aside the remnants of the dream—as always, _doing something_ temporarily alleviated whatever mental grievances she still held, even though the fact remained that she _knew_ it would always, always return, just like there was no escaping the night at the end of the day. "Do I look like I'm in a condition to just run off?" Gesturing at the still-inflamed skin on the back of her left leg to emphasize the point, she tried to muster what she hoped was a convincing glare. _Not to mention the fact that… _

"I suppose not," the Meurite conceded. The blatant scrutiny in those golden eyes told her that he knew more than he was letting on—she had no idea how long he'd stood there back at the cliffside, waiting for her to struggle out of the nightmare, and suddenly, Lightning was afraid: _What if he's seen— _"But regardless," he continued quietly, "They'd like to know where you are."

_Because I'm just too precious to lose, right?_

On the heels of those sarcastic thoughts came annoyance and frustration—if she was honest, she really didn't see why they needed her. It wasn't that she didn't understand the logic behind their reasoning; it was that she didn't think it would work. _It's like I told Hope… do they really think that _words_ are going to make the enemy understand? When someone's about to kill you, you don't go preaching morality to them—if that worked, violence would've never existed in this world. Not to mention that I'm… _definitely_ not the person they're looking for. _But she hadn't been thinking when those thoughts crossed her mind, because a flash of pain flickered in her chest when she remembered _who _they might've been better off with. _Hope… _

"But either way… it doesn't make sense that we should treat each other like enemies," murmured the Meurite quietly. "I think we both want to end this with the least possible violence and death. So… can we stop glaring at each other?"

_I think that applies to me more than it does to you. _But she wasn't going to complain—or argue with that—for the simple fact that Lightning knew she needed to stay here; at the very least until she had enough information to figure out exactly what she was going to do next, and until… _Until I learn how to get a grip on myself… without him. _

That second thought was more terrifying than the first. _I… _She didn't want to admit it, but it was going to have to come out sooner or later—the fact that she'd made it through those last few months back in Bodhum only because _he'd _been there. Lightning didn't want to remember the weeks after Serah's death, nor did she want to remember the subsequent years in which she had struggled through the days on autopilot, trying to force herself through the motions without thinking too hard about their emotional consequences, even though she knew they would come anyways. _It was only when… It was only when Hope came back that everything started to mean more than the little they did. _Unconsciously clenching her fingers into fists, she tried to push away that sense of longing and guilt that had crept up on her once again. _Get a grip, Farron… You're not some hormone-rampant teenager who can't deal with the fact that he's not here. It's going to be awhile before you find him—and you certainly _won't_ find him if this keeps up._

She tried to cling to that.

It was then that she realized the Meurite was still waiting for a response from her; how much he'd taken in from her inner struggle, she didn't know, but it was safe to assume that he—or perhaps they—knew that there was at least some part in her emotional balance that wasn't as stable as it should've been. Lightning tried to weigh his offer with what her instincts were screaming at her not to do: _If I'm going to get more information, I can't—I can't act like I don't give a damn about anything. I know that. But… _Would it be worth it? She didn't know—but she also didn't _want _to know the consequences of making a mistake.

"Fine," she finally muttered, meeting the searching honey-coloured gaze with her own; struggling to maintain her outer composure, she felt slightly more comfortable when the Meurite's expression turned into one of acquiescence.

"Good." After a brief pause, the Meurite looked away. "You know… we still don't know your name yet. I…I'm Taksin."

For some reason, that fact took her by surprise. _They… _Giving her head a small shake, she tried to dispel the discomfort associated with the Meurite telling her his name—_It's not that it… I don't know. I guess I just didn't expect them to have names… that's all. _And really, that thought bothered her—perhaps she hadn't viewed them with enough humanity to perceive the fact that they might indeed have individual names, but she couldn't ignore—still—the gut feeling and the soldier instinct that warned her not to get too close. _So long as they don't find out about Hope… would it be that bad? _She didn't know that these Meurites didn't have the tendency the other members of their race had; the explicit interest in Hope, for one. _How do I know that you won't go after him as well? _She didn't—and that was why Lightning knew that it would be the smarter choice to keep these 'friends' further than she would an enemy.

Turning, and making sure that each of her steps was as steady as it could be, she picked her way down the small, dusty incline back in the direction of the Meurite camp—along with the brisk steps, the lingering nausea from the nightmare had returned; she fought it, determined not to show any more weakness in front of him.

"Lightning."

* * *

The darkness was suffocating.

Not just in a way that he couldn't breathe, but in a way that felt like he was drawing not air, but dirt, into his lungs. Coughing and spluttering for adequate breath, Hope could taste only the earthy scent of soil and nothing else. Fighting the coming panic, he tried to push himself upwards—up was air, right?

The effort took more out of him than expected—and much longer than he originally gambled for—but the relief of being able to pull in a lungful of air that wasn't tainted by the taste of dry earth was liberating. Opening his eyes into a purplish twilight, Hope gave his head a few shakes before climbing unsteadily to his feet. It took his eyes awhile to adjust to the new colouration of sunset, but as soon as he felt as in control of his body as he could possibly be at the moment, he scanned the immediate area, looking for the distinctive bulk of Snow.

It came as a subdued wave of relief when he spotted the blond brawler half buried under a mound of earth—one brief check told him that Snow would be alright. The beefy blond was stirring at any rate, and he decided it would be wiser to let Snow renew his grip on reality with some space around him.

Stretching sore muscles in his back and the ache that pervaded his limbs, Hope sat back against the foot of the canyon, watching the deepening purple sky above him. The landslide they'd caused had carried them both to the very bottom of the cliffs they'd been traversing, but at least it had stopped pursuit. _But now what? Those bird Meurites came from over the cliffs… how are we supposed to follow them if we're stuck at the bottom now? _

A scuffle behind him told him that Snow had recovered enough to make his way over; turning, Hope watched with slight amusement as the blond brawler made an effort to dust every last bit of dust off his ragged trench coat. "Yo, kid." Grinning from ear to ear, the fighter gave him a thumbs up. "I have the most brilliant ideas, don't I?"

For a moment, he hadn't been quite sure if Snow was serious… or not, before he mentally slapped himself. _Who am I kidding—Snow never drops the action hero act._ "No, you don't," he countered quietly. "Because how're we supposed to follow the Meurites now?"

Snow scratched the back of his bandanna thoughtfully. "Oh. Shoulda thought of that earlier, shouldn't I? At least we lived—knew the soil would soften the fall." Choosing—wisely— not to respond directly to that, Hope opened his mouth to ask the fighter for something of a plan when a different sound cut across them both.

Instantly freezing, he saw Snow tighten his hands into fists. But the sound wasn't repeated—he'd only half heard it clearly the first time and it didn't sound like something that was about to attack them. Getting up slowly, he followed Snow across the short expanse of collapsed dirt to where he _thought_ the sound had come from.

That was when it came again; a feeble, whimpering cry that sounded something like a bird's. "Look," he heard Snow whisper. Straining his eyes to see in the falling darkness, Hope could make out broken feather shafts and limp talons amongst the earth that had collapsed when their combined spells had brought down the landslide. "It's one of those creeps."

Slowly moving forward side-by-side, they approached it wearily, just in case it was still capable of fighting. But upon moving nearer to the birdlike creature, Hope could see that it was in no way, shape or form capable of harming them—one of its wings was trapped underneath a slab of rock, and he winced to see that a spire of wood was buried in its chest.

But whatever the birdlike Meurite's intentions had been, it hadn't been to attack them on sight—perhaps it couldn't now, but he couldn't see any real indication of vengeance nor hatred in those eyes. Snow had fallen silent, and Hope could see that the he'd relaxed his fists, clearly having deemed the injured—dying—Meurite not to be a threat.

Drawing closer step by step, he was close enough to hear its ragged breathing now; Snow just behind him, he heard the blond brawler pull in a short breath at the sight of the broken wing. That was when the Meurite spoke; perhaps it hadn't recognized them, or perhaps it hadn't placed in its mind that they'd been the ones to set off the landslide that had caused its death, but it didn't speak as though it was in the presence of its enemies. "Lord Volechek… will be disappointed that we couldn't recover the Umbra Gear."

Staring at the expression of the Meurite intently, Hope tried to place the terms 'Volechek' and 'Umbra Gear'. None of them set off any alarm in his mind, and the blank look on Snow's face told him that the brawler hadn't heard of these terms either. "Wait," he rasped hoarsely. "What are you talking about?"

But whether those words had been a dying lament, or one that had been intended to inform them, he would never find out—the Meurite twitched once before dropping limp back onto the clod of dirt. Backing away now, he couldn't fight the faint bile rising in his throat. _Just what was it talking about? Who's Volechek? What's…?_

A sharp grip tugged at his shoulder. "C'mon, Hope, we're not going to get anything else here. Might as well leave."

He knew Snow was right, but Hope couldn't resist casting one more glance at the still body of the Meurite lying there in the brightening moonlight, half covered with dirt. His body protested the fast pace that Snow had set for them both in the moonlit valley floor, but he didn't fight it—it allowed him time to think through those last words and keeping his body moving was better than sitting there brooding.

_Volechek… Not a name I've heard before for sure. It doesn't sound like it's a name from Cocoon… so it has to be whoever was ordering it to come here? _He couldn't be sure. _And what's… the Umbra Gear? _For some reason, those names chilled him to the core—he wasn't sure what it was about those simple syllables that made him feel that way, but just like the lingering feeling from the dream the night previously, it didn't ring well in his head.

A few rustles from up ahead pushed him out of his thoughts; looking up, Hope spotted Snow breaking the leaves and branches of a few scraggly plants that blocked the entrance to a narrow split in the cliffside, before poking his head in. "This place looks like it'll do for the night," he quipped. "Wanna rest up here?"

Shrugging his assent, Hope settled—once more—against the cold canyon wall, glad for the icy feeling of the stone against the soreness in his back.

"So," began Snow, "What d'you think about the stuff that Meurite said?"

Turning to look at the fighter sitting a foot or two away, he took a few moments before replying. "You mean… the Umbra Gear and all that? I don't know," he admitted honestly. "But… I don't think that Meurite, or those Meurites, were hunting us. Not intentionally, anyways."

He watched Snow ponder through this for a few heartbeats. "Really? Why? Seemed to me they were pretty keen on doing us in."

_That's what I thought too, but… _Biting the inside of his lip, Hope wondered how he could begin to explain the raw feeling tugging at his stomach. "But I think… They weren't looking for us. Not intentionally, anyways. They might've just come across us… and decided to attack, but I don't think we were their target… just like the Meurites that passed us a few days ago."

There was a long silence as Snow thought through this. "Oh-kay… I can kinda see your point… but if they weren't looking for us, then who the hell where they looking for?"

Staring intently at his hands twisted in his lap, Hope pulled in a breath, glad for the refreshing sensation of the cold autumn night air in his lungs. After being half buried in the landslide, he'd thought that he wouldn't ever belittle fresh air again. "I think they were looking for the Umbra Gear it mentioned. It mentioned that 'Volechek'… whoever he is, would be disappointed that they couldn't find it, right? So this Umbra Gear has gotta be important… and whoever Volechek is, he's gotta be important too, if he's got Meurites working under him." _I know it. _

"Huh. Not bad, kid. Wouldn't be surprised if that were the case." Yawning, Snow stretched his arms above his head. "Well, nothin' we can do bout it now—might as well get some sleep. You want first watch?"

He didn't particularly want it, with exhaustion and soreness still pulling at the muscles that had survived the landslide, but his mind was buzzing with the questions that had been aroused by the Meurite's last words, and Hope knew he wouldn't be able to sleep anyways, unless he made _some_ sense out of them.

Still unused to Snow's snoring, he found it more difficult than usual to concentrate on what he wanted to think about—meaningless thoughts chased each other around and around in his mind, like the pieces of a puzzle that he knew fit in some way, but just not in a way he could arrange at the present time. And it was in that silence, filled only by the occasional howl of some Pulsian wildlife, that his desolation in his current predicament hit him like a ton of bricks in the face.

It was like before—it wasn't that he didn't appreciate Snow's presence, it was that there were things that he was sure Snow wouldn't understand. _He's not… Snow's just not the type of person to give anything much deep thought; he's more of the kind of person to act first, and think later. That_ was the kind of loneliness he was experiencing—the fact that he had no one to share those speculations with anymore.

_Light…_

After the initial painful aftermath of their separation, he'd made it his goal—priority—to find her, and he had honestly thought that he could deal with the bitter regret of that separation. But it was in times like these that showed him how very wrong he was—it was something that haunted him; an instinct from so long ago it had been buried under new memories that had been created since then. But when it came down to it, Hope knew that he needed her just as much as she needed him.

His own need wasn't like hers—he didn't _need_ to be comforted, to be constantly upheld when things came up that pulled at a past that was all too painful. It wasn't that he was berating his position—_I-I know I don't _want_ to see her like that. _But in her absence, something else had been brushed and dusted off, rising from the ashes of _old_ memories like a phoenix made of dust. _But she's… It made me realize that I don't feel like myself without her. She taught me how I should live my life. And even now—_

"…and even now, I want her to tell me what I should do," he whispered aloud. _I want her to be here and tell me I'm naïve… that I'm making stupid decisions that aren't going to help anyone._

_And right now, I'd give anything to have listened to you when you told me I was making a mistake… then. _But since he couldn't go back in time no matter how much he might've wanted to, Hope knew that he would have to deal with the pain.

Thinking about time turned his mind back to the words 'Umbra Gear'; 'Volechek' had quite obviously been a person—one he didn't know—but he thought he'd heard those words before, a realization that had been supressed in his initial shock at the dying Meurite's words. Where, he couldn't place at the moment, but they rung a faint bell. Hope wasn't sure what exactly it was—had it been the mythology they'd all been forced to learn last time, or was it something this time around, while they'd been searching in the Paddran ruins? _Why can't I remember…?_

Frustrated, he couldn't shake off the earlier feelings that the term 'Umbra Gear' wasn't something he wanted to be associated with. _But if they were looking for it… it has to be something important. Somehow, we have to find out what it is._

That decision should've bolstered his resolve to keep going; really, it should have solidified the purpose that he knew they were all out here for… but tonight, all it did was remind him that she wasn't here, stabbing like an immorally dulled blade into his chest. _Okay, Hope… cut it out. It's not like you can't live without her, and if you'd been more tactful in the first place she'd _be_ here. Throwing yourself a pity party isn't going to make her magically appear, so you might as well get on with things. _

_That's the only thing left to do now, right?_

* * *

The stiff autumn breeze blew dust motes in his face as Hope struggled along behind Snow, painfully climbing back up the cliff that they'd collapsed at some other point the previous day. The blond brawler had insisted that he'd spotted a path upwards about half a mile down from where they'd stopped the previous night, and since Snow had been in the lead, Hope hadn't doubted him in any way until they were about halfway up the sheer, dizzying cliff—that was when the precarious 'path' that Snow had found had turned non-existent.

Normally, he would've suggested that they make their way back down, but that was impossible too—the slope had been too steep to attempt a descent. So he'd gritted his teeth and had followed Snow's chosen route upwards—it was funny that he had little choice right now but to go along with the blond's decision. _Maker, I really hope the path he chose is going to stay put… _The crumbling dirt underfoot told him otherwise, but he could hardly back down at this particular moment.

The morning sun hot on the back of his neck, Hope had swallowed at the prospect of falling—actually falling—from this height. _Forget the landslide; at least then, we kind of had the dirt to help cushion the fall. Because if we fall now… _The thought had barely finished forming in his mind when something else caught his attention, much more so than the imminent danger of falling.

The sound of a screech from above them made every single muscle in his body freeze. "Fuck," he heard Snow curse somewhere ahead of him. "Not _now_." He wanted to strain his eyes to see what exactly had made that screech, but with the sun almost directly above them, that was impossible. _The only thing to do is to hope that it's not after us. _The screeches—more than one and mixed in with the sound of gunfire now—grew louder as he scrabbled his way up the steep side of the cliff, but nothing seemed to be swooping down on them, nor did he feel a shadow sweep over their backs in preparation for an attack. _Who—or what—are they fighting? _A dim hope flared in his chest before it was crushed accordingly: from the sounds of it, there was more than one gun firing.

Hope had his answer the moment he pulled himself over the side of the cliff onto a steady ledge; flushed and breathless, for a few heartbeats all he could do was kneel there and gasp for breath, trying to draw a sufficient amount of air into his lungs. "What the…" Snow's mutter came from his left, and he glanced upwards, shock rooting him to the spot for all of a moment.

There were several birdlike Meurites fighting, scratching and clawing with talons and beaks, but those Meurites either weren't interested—or hadn't noticed—them because they were currently engaged with an army squadron of soldiers.

Picking himself off the dirt, Hope stared—with unfurling dread in his stomach— at the way the army was fighting back against them. The indiscriminate firing brought the memories of _that_ day crashing down on his shoulders like a tidal wave, but he knew that shouting out now wouldn't do either side any good. But the army was winning; steadily driving the creatures back with guns and sniper rifles, it wasn't long before the few remaining Meurites took to the air, leaving behind the smoking, bloodstained battlefield.

It was then that the commander there turned to them, clear relief etched on his features. "You're—You must be the citizens we were told to find. Dr. Carmine told us you'd be out here somewhere." Giving them a closer critical look when the statement failed to elicit what Hope could only assume was the expected reaction, a note of suspicion entered his voice. "You _are_ the civilians travelling with the Lieutenant-Colonel, right?"

It was as if something tight had seized his throat and wouldn't let it go.

* * *

The setting sun cast those same ominous shadows over the red-tinged rocks. Sitting on a stump, half-hidden in the shadows of the Meurite camp, Lightning watched with renewed suspicion the evening activities of the Meurites here. It wasn't that any of them gave her outright hostile looks, ones that she might've pulled out her weapon to threaten for, but the looks were far from comforting. _Almost like… It's like they're possessive. _

But it wasn't the way either Serah or Hope looked at her—as embarrassing as that thought was—it was more like… _It's like they can't afford to take their eyes off me because they're scared I'm going to run away or something. _She wanted to snort inwardly at the thought—really, they couldn't have picked a less sympathetic person to their plight, and knowing the fact that they didn't want her to run away, or whatever, was laughable. _Because that's exactly what I'm planning, as soon as… _

But here in the shadows, she wasn't directly in anyone's field of vision and it gave the false illusion that she was alone amidst creatures she knew she still couldn't trust. Pulling one knee up to her chest, Lightning wrapped her arms around her lower leg, resting her cheek on her knee. _But when I'm by myself, that only reminds me… _She tried to snap herself out of those thoughts as soon as it crossed her mind, knowing perfectly well that dwelling on them would only leave her emotionally wrecked and drained—something she knew she _could not_ be at the moment._ Not if I want to get out of here._

Willing herself to calm down and to put her thoughts somewhere else, she found her nails digging into her skin in the effort it took to hold onto reality with as much strength as she could muster in her current condition. _I'm... so _tired.

It wasn't the somnolent kind of tiredness, the one that found refuge in sleep. It was funny, because she knew there _was_ no refuge in sleep—nightmares and fears plagued her like an illness every time she closed her eyes; Lightning knew herself better than to expect that they would get better over time. But it was inevitable that the thought of nightmares brought her back to the one she'd had the previous night—_Just what… Why did… _She couldn't even begin to make sense of it; because even now, the only thing she could comfortable register from it was how ridiculously and embarrassingly relaxed she'd been the moment she'd _known_ it was him. _Do I… Am I really that dependent on him?_

Dependent. She hated that word, because it made her look weak and that was exactly what she _didn't_ want to appear as right now. But deep inside, Lightning knew that that was exactly what she was—the expectation, the longing in her body the morning after she'd finally realized what she'd done was tantamount to that fact. She didn't want to admit it, but what was the point of lying to herself anymore? _He kept telling me he needed me—it just goes to show that _I _need _him_ more than the other way around. _

The rising panic in her chest was back.

_Right now, I don't even know if he's still alive out there, I don't know if… _ Biting down on the inside of her lip to stop the cry her mind wanted to rip from her lungs, she dug her nails in harder into her skin, the words from the military therapist drifting back into her mind. _"It takes longer to put yourself back together than it does to fall apart." _

She hadn't wanted to believe it then… but right now, Lightning knew it to be the indiscriminate truth—her control over her emotions was slipping and she knew it—having already bitten the inside of her lip hard enough to have drawn blood. But the metallic taste of the tinny liquid in her mouth reminded her as to why, exactly, she was here; it dredged up the memory of the resolve she had yet to see through. Using that thought to try to keep her breathing slow and controlled, she fought it, determined to win this one battle even though knowing that eventually, somewhere down the line, it would end up to be a losing war. _Even if I find him… I still have to apologize. I still have to… _

Clinging to that, she tried to put her mind to only one thing—keeping her breathing and heartbeat under control, so that there would be no way to give into the dry heaves that signalled the inevitable loss of her hold on her emotions and thoughts. The growing quietness of the camp lulled her into a false sense of security, but through the effort it took to keep her breaths light and steady—something she could focus on without thinking too much about everything else— Lightning was gratified to find that when she finally began slipping back into the merciless realm of sleep, she was as in control as she possibly could be at the moment.

That was when a hoarse screech sounded over the camp—in the settling darkness, she could hear messy, untimed wing beats and the sounds of snarls. _What the fuck—_ The adrenaline that pounded through her body almost instantly as she reacted to the soldier sense of danger; pushing herself up from her sitting position in a fraction of a heartbeat, she strained to make out the silhouettes of whoever it was in the rising moonlight.

Both dread and a grim sort of determination made its way into her mind when she recognized at least the shadows of who these new enemies were.

* * *

The ride on the hovercraft back to wherever the military base was in this area of Gran Pulse was painful, suffocating, and Hope felt like he'd been watching someone else go through those motions, because afterwards, the only sensation he could feel was numbness.

He hadn't wanted to deal with the aftermath of that one question the commander had—and that, in itself, had been almost ironically amusing, because right now, he felt like Lightning. Just like before, he'd never fully understood her unwillingness to deal with reality, her refusal to acknowledge what had been. It wasn't that he was belittling her, it was that he'd never felt this way himself… never understood as to why it had been something she'd wanted. _But… I kind of get it now. How it feels to want to just shut out everything else. _That one question had pulled at the very thing that he'd been dwelling upon for the last two weeks—something that he hadn't wanted to acknowledge more than absolutely necessary.

So Snow had done the answering, and right now, sitting here in the military base camp not far from Vallis Media, he selfishly wished Snow could continue to do the answering. Through that numbed mentality, he watched the commander in charge apologize for persecuting them, and that Pulse Management had recognized their contributions into the current war effort as necessary. He'd also noticed—with a certain degree of disdain that was tainted by a dark hope—that Carmine was there, looking adequately subdued and contained.

He'd honestly thought he could handle it. He'd be pushing himself forward because of that thought—that he could keep going despite what had happened. The past weeks without her… and the thought that she might never come back. The nights had given him enough time to dwell, and since Snow hadn't shoved the fact in his face, he'd honestly_ thought_ that he could handle it. _I thought if I kept telling myself I could do it... I'd be able to. But really, who was I kidding? All it took was one question from someone who wasn't aware of what's happened to bring all crashing down._

The images of the Hanging Edge, the Ice Cliff Palace, and the hospital were impossible to dispel.

"Hey." Snow's voice was unusually subdued and it held a tone of pacification in it. "That scientist dude… he wants to talk to us. You know, the one that was after us? Says he's got some new information for us."

He'd been ready to refuse the offer—after all, no one had told him he'd _had_ to do anything, before a desperate thought ate through his reluctance. _What if it helps me find Light? What if it helps us all to fight? _He couldn't ignore the allure of that thought, and Hope knew perfectly well that it would be stupid of him to turn down the offer when he _knew_ it could bring him one step closer to finding her.

"Alright," he acquiesced quietly; getting up, he didn't miss the relief on the blond brawler's face—Snow clearly having not expected him to agree so readily— before following the fighter out the tent flap to where he assumed Command was in this base camp.

Strangely, he felt oddly relaxed—numb still, yes, but the initial shock of what had happened had faded somewhat, to be replaced by the determination his hopes had given him. Glancing upwards to the full moon that was rising in the darkened sky, that fresh resolve at the promise of new information allowed him to store those painful thoughts to where they belonged.

_Light… I_ will_ find you. And keep you safe._

* * *

**Hm. For some reason, I really like how the ending two segments came out. Not too big of a fan of how the first two segments sounded like, but I think they could've been worse, so I'll just go with that, alright? :3 **

**Anyways. Before I start rambling, I just wanted to give you guys a heads up on the fact that Chapter 18 will _not_ be up until I finish up my other fanfic, _Unwritten._ Why? Well, I think I've only got two more chapters to go—so why not finish it off and then dedicate my full attention to RW? It honestly shouldn't take me more than a week to finish; it's two chapters and I've got it all planned out (just gotta figure out how to make it sound pretty now).  
**

**So on that note, I'll see you guys in about a week or so. Leave love as always, and I'll see you guys next time!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	18. Indelible Past

**So hi all, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**Bet you didn't expect an update... literally, the next day. So here's the story—my dad popped a business trip on us all this weekend, but since he can't take his PC with him, he took my laptop. Yes. My laptop with all the outlines and half completed chapters to _Unwritten_. So, I thought "what a waste of time if I just sit there feeling sorry for myself." Admittedly, I had this chapter half completed on _my_ PC, so I took this morning to go and finish off the last 1,000 or so words of it. So here's your treat for the weekend.  
**

**Thanks and love go to Mylaervain (oh... they'll be reunited. Eventually), That One Reviewee (thanks for pointing that out—it's there now!), Castiel (Ahh, the 'Eclipse' is from my original story. I have not played Dark Dawn personally, but do own the first two games, and since those were the two terms that stuck out to me watching a friend play, I thought I'd 'borrow' them—they clicked and fit what I had in mind. But don't worry, I'm planning a different interpretation of those two names, and I'm glad to see another GS fan on here! :3), and Jack Hargreave (no worries at all—and you'll see shortly, heehee!)  
**

**Anyways, enjoy as always!**

* * *

Chapter 18: Indelible Past

It was as though winter had settled across the Meurite camp within a matter of moments. It hadn't escaped her notice that every single one of the Meurites that were still awake had visibly tensed. _Do they know…?_ It didn't matter if they did or not—she was sure there was a fight coming and she _did not_ intend to get hurt. The familiar weight of her omega weapon in hand was reassuring, but what Lightning _wasn't_ sure of was how competent she was with it at the moment. _I could probably take on a few of them…_

_It doesn't matter. Some things in life… you have to do. _

Slowly, keeping to the shadows that weren't illuminated by the torchlight, she pressed her back against one of the rocks perched inside the camp—from here, she would be able to hear what the Meurites were saying and keep herself out of sight until absolutely necessary.

The birdlike creatures had landed on the ground, but they weren't the only ones part of the invasion force. With rising bile in her throat, Lightning recognized the ones with the Cie'th like skin—the ones that had the ability to cast Fire spells. Gritting her back teeth, she knew exactly how potent their magic was—the proof of that was still stretched down the back of her leg.

But it wasn't them, either, that instantly grabbed her attention and twisted her gut with apprehension. There was one, in the centre, with the domineering air of a leader; someone that was clearly used to being in charge. _I'm willing to bet… that's the one leading all of this. _

Thoughts of escape had vanished from her mind as she narrowed her ice blue gaze at the tall Meurite, the one with a weapon in hand. _If what the Meurites here said is true… then he has to be working under that leader of theirs… right? And how much would he know? _The thought was tempting, to say the least. How much could she find out from him if she got him to talk?

A swift reality check told her that she was no longer the—or indeed, _a_—commander; used to giving orders and having them followed, Lightning had to remind herself that right now, she could very easily become the prey, the deer caught in the searchlights, if she was too reckless. _We… I got separated from Hope because I was too reckless. _

That thought, as always, hurt, but right now, it served only to remind her that she had to be cautious. _Wait… wait. You're supposed to be a professional, Farron; you should know better than to go rushing into things. _Sticking to her chosen patch of shadows, the scene before her played out quietly—almost too quietly. _As though they're not really planning to attack._

The elders, whoever they were, had made it out from their cavern—standing just behind a couple of the other Meurites who had lined up to face the incoming enemies, they were the ones that spoke first.

"You told us you wouldn't return here." It wasn't a question, but it was a statement phrased as one nonetheless; the tone in it was demanding, but the soldier sense told her that it wasn't the right question to ask. _Whoever that leader is… he's no stranger to combat. _Apprehension twisted at her insides once again—it was all too easy to be provoked into a fight… a losing one, if her instincts were right.

"No. You're right, of course." Disgust coiled in her stomach the moment the Meurite opened his mouth—the tone in it was familiar, very familiar, and it dredged up memories that would've been better off at the back of her mind. She'd heard the confident, self-gratified tone all too often in the past; the tone of people used to _winning_ and confident that they _would_ win this time around. "But since we're on the brink of war with the humans, I thought it might be necessary to extend my offer to you once more."

"We don't need your offers, Volechek," spat one of them. She couldn't see who it had been, but she caught the anger in it.

There was a small chuckle, one that reached into the very core of her memories and wrung them out to dry. It was so, so familiar, and Lightning had to bite down on the inside of her lip again to stop herself before she made a sound she regretted, remembering all too late that her teeth had already broken through the raw skin in her mouth. But the bitter taste of blood served as a much-needed reality check; reminding her as to why those particular events in her past had come to be, and what she had to do now to stop them from happening again.

"You say that you don't. But is that true? You've seen how the humans are—oh, pardon me, that's right. I've heard that you've recently brought one home with you. To do what, may I ask?" Swivelling his head around, she knew he was trying to pinpoint her position—and realized too late that he'd be able to. She missed the commanding gesture, but it wasn't very long before her upper arm was clenched tight in the fist of one of the attacking Meurites.

Trying to fight the grasp would be pointless—and it would take her closer to this Volechek, whoever he was, at any rate. _Wait… wait. Let them… _Feigning weakness and compliance, she allowed herself to be half led, half dragged over to the very centre of the camp, until she stood barely five feet away from the imposing figure.

Up close, and in the moonlight, there was something off about his appearance. He had the stature of one of the Cie'th-like Meurites, but it was as though his skin was stretched too tightly over his flesh; that skin was a sickly grey colour to begin with, but there was something odd about even that. _Just what… did he do to himself? _

Ignoring the protests and the tense stances of the Meurites behind her, strangely, Lightning realized that she didn't feel any fear. The golden eyes were regarding her with a look that a predator might give to his prey, but immediate fear of this one creature, who no doubt hadn't acquired his position by anything other than force, was muted by the fact that she _knew_ he knew something; something deeper than the complex situation that they were already in. _And I have to find out what it is. For Hope, for everything I've fought for in the past… I have to find out. _

And it was on that thought that she realized she was able to meet his contemptuous look eye-to-eye, refusing to cower from the gaze as she somehow knew he expected her to do. The other Meurite had let go of her arm now, and she found her fingers tightening reflexively on the handle of her gunblade. _If you want to fight… I'm not going to go run and hide. _

"So this is the human you brought home with you." Still keeping his eyes intently on her face, the Meurite spared a glance at the elders gathered somewhere behind them. "What d'you intend to do with prey? Especially one that has so much magical potential…" His voice trailed off, but there was a musing tone in it now, and suddenly, anxiety slammed into her chest. _Does he know… Can he tell? _

True, there was no indication left on her body that she'd ever been a l'Cie, but that didn't mean he wouldn't be able to put two and two together. _I already know I stand out—without Hope, those Meurites will come after me. But will he be able to figure it out? _She hoped not, but there was something about the hungry look in his eyes that spoke otherwise.

But whatever it had been that he'd been able to piece together, it wasn't about her past, because the next moment, he let out a laugh of icy contempt. "I see. She's a high ranking soldier. You're hoping to have her convince everyone else that violence is unnecessary? That we need to _understand_ each other?" The word 'understand' dripped from his lips like it was the cruelest word to exist in his vocabulary. "That's not going to work. Humans breed violence. If we don't finish them off this time, they'll just come back the next time."

However much the Meurite made her skin crawl, Lightning had to admit that _that_ sentiment, at the very least, held a pigment of truth in it. _He's right… Even if we 'understand' each other this time around… there'll be a next time. Isn't that what I told… _him_ that time? That I know this world isn't fair… and that I _will_ fight when it comes down to it. _

"So leave us out of this," stated one of the Meurites behind her in a tired tone; she didn't dare turn around to see who had spoken, knowing that Volechek still had his eyes on her. "Fight your war your way… and we'll fight ours _our _way."

Once again, the Meurite in front of her let out a small chuckle. "If only things were that easy. But how do I know you won't throw a wrench, so to speak, into my plans? You already have, by bringing this human here. How do I know that you won't try to stop me?" He didn't need to wait for a response. "I don't. So why not stomp out the trouble before it even begins, rather than come clean up the mess later?"

He'd made his intentions clear at last—not that she hadn't expected it earlier, but he'd laid out his goal here tonight as clear as he could've made it, and Lightning felt her body tense for what she knew was coming.

"So you're here to fight." That voice was one she recognized; it was the Meurite that had been tasked with looking after her. "So fight us."

As though those words had been the catalyst to the encounter that had been simmering beneath the surface all night, it happened in the span of the snap of two fingers.

A rough blow was swung into her side before Lightning had time to react—she'd had her attention focussed on Volechek, who she'd been sure would go after her, and now she was going to pay that price.

Momentarily winded, she ducked backwards, half out of the momentum of the first blow and half out of the reflexes that instantly kicked in. In the time it took for her attacker to recover from the missed second blow, she'd recovered enough to leap lithely over the impact of the third, dragging the serrated edge of her weapon along the Meurite's dominant arm. Kicking it away from her with a boot to the chest, Lightning glanced up around her, only to find that the camp had exploded into chaos.

Dodging talons and spells flung her way, she had one goal in mind—to find that leader of theirs, whoever the hell he was, and to pry as much information as she could out of him. There was nothing near her to scale, nothing to elevate her above the immediate fighting around her that would allow her to spot him easily.

_I can't let him get away. _

It was then that she remembered that he'd been the only Meurite with a weapon on him—a gun, by the looks of it, as a matter of fact. _He wouldn't've brought it if he wasn't going to use it. _Trying to tune out the sounds of battle around her, it took her several heartbeats to discern the sound of gunfire from her left.

Hope flared in her chest for all of a moment before Lightning realized that her sense of hearing would be the only thing she could rely on—it was next to impossible to see what was going on around her if her only goal was to get to him.

Pulling in a deep breath, she tried to calm down. _Okay. You're not a commanding officer for nothing. You can find someone in this mess if that's the only thing you concentrate on. Think, Farron, how would you track someone if this was a military drill? _

The realization hit her in the chest like a ton of bricks. _He'd want to take out as many people with that weapon as possible. And if _I _wanted to hit people with a gun, I'd make sure I was on higher ground than anyone else. _There was a small rise in the dusty earth to her left, a hill formed by rocks that poked up through the desert sand.

Weaving her way through the mess of attackers and defenders, she spotted him standing at the very crest of that small rise in the ground, brandishing his weapon in the moonlight.

* * *

"Sit." Not wanting to obey the words of the scientist, Hope refused to acknowledge the chair in front of him, choosing, like Snow, to stand, leaning against one of the walls that formed Command in the Vallis Media base camp.

Carmine's eyes glanced up at him suspiciously, before the man let out a sigh. "I guess I can't force you to do anything, now can I? But before we begin, I'd like to—"

"Cut the crap," hissed Snow quietly. "We don't want to hear your useless apologies. We want to hear what you've got to say." The man tried to muster a glare at Snow before he was seemingly reminded of something else. Clearing his throat quickly, the scientist shuffled the papers spread out before him on the desk.

"Right, right… So." A hint of his old pompousness had crept back into his voice. "Eden has been engaging Meurites since the three, well, two, of you have left." For reasons Hope was all too aware of, those words pulled at something in his chest. _Stay calm, stay calm. Whatever it is, it could help you find her. _"They've declared war on us. For what reasons, we're not sure yet, but I believe I've discussed my theories about that with you already."

He remembered; the words pulling up a conversation that seemed like it had happened eons ago, a memory that belonged to someone else. _Lightning told me. _

"But they've also announced to us that their leader is someone named Volechek." When the name elicited some sort of reaction from Snow that he didn't catch, a small grin quirked at the side of the scientist's mouth. "Ah, yes, I see you've heard of that name as well. But here's the thing… We went and did some research on the name, seeing as it might've provided clues to their intentions." Shuffling his papers once more, Carmine pulled out a worn piece that looked like it had been handled many times in the past, holding it up to the light.

"But here's the catch. 'Volechek' was the name of a Paddran leader from centuries ago. How would a Meurite, as we've discussed before—who was created in recent times, know about it?"

Snow let out a snort. "It could've opened a history book like you did, couldn't it? I mean, it's not that hard to pick a name."

"True. But there's something odd about that, don't you think? If Meurites have always existed, in some form or another on Gran Pulse, don't you think it would've been _given_ a name? Why do you think that this Meurite has gone on to become the leader?"

What Carmine was trying to say clicked in his mind. "So… you're saying that he assumed a false identity? That he's claiming he's the reincarnation, or whatever, of this king?"

The man clapped his hands like a small child that was pleased that his parents understood what he was talking about. "Precisely."

Hearing another snort from Snow, Hope felt the same irritation rise in his stomach. "That's all cool," the blond brawler started, "but so what? It doesn't give us any indication of how to fight him, and it doesn't give us any weapons."

"And that's where you're wrong, Mr. Villiers. If he's assumed a false identity, it's easy to track where he came from, and what his intentions are. And track we did. We sent a squadron of soldiers to the very extent of what had been Paddra's territory, and sure enough, there were Meurites scattered in some of those places. One of them told us a very interesting story. There was indeed a Meurite named Volechek. By all accounts, he was a fierce fighter and had a natural ability for leadership. The only thing is… he died three years ago."

Silence consumed the air around them as Hope swallowed the implications of that statement. Mind racing on fast forward, it didn't take him long to grasp what the man was trying to say. "So…"

"And so, that means our enemy here can impersonate, or even possess, should that be possible, other people. That's a little something that we might have to take into consideration, don't we?"

* * *

Lightning raised her gunblade into the face of the Meurite, struck once again by the way the skin was stretched over the grey flesh, almost like… _Almost like it doesn't fit him, or something._ But that wasn't possible, because that had to be his body, right? Giving her head a shake, she put those thoughts to the back of her mind—there would be another time to ponder through his odd appearance.

Beside her stood the Meurite that had been instructed to follow her, a rough bow held in hand, the point of the arrow also aimed at the forehead of the Meurite in front of them.

"So the human woman has teeth after all," he mused quietly. "I'm not too surprised. But you won't take me down… regardless."

"Want to bet on that?" she snarled quietly, tightening her finger on the trigger.

They were at a complete standstill. Lightning knew perfectly well that the moment she chose to fire would also be the moment _he _chose to retaliate, and that she couldn't ascertain burying a bullet in his forehead without guaranteeing one in her own. And he, on the other hand, knew that she would shoot the moment he decided to attack. _Think, Farron, how would you teach a cadet to get out of this?_

She knew the answer, but she wasn't sure if it would work. _Because how can I ask _him_ to shoot without shouting it aloud? _The Meurite beside her wasn't one of the captains she trusted that would have enough training to know what to do next—and she couldn't take chances because one mistake could very well mean throwing her life away with both hands.

But he acted before she had a chance to think further; perhaps he was being reckless, but she knew that the few dead bodies around them meant much more to him than it did to her. The point of the arrow buried itself into the grey flesh of the sickly arm, but it also guaranteed the barrage of gunfire she knew was coming.

Thinking fast, Lightning dived behind a scraggly bush—it wasn't much in the way of protection but at least she wasn't in the direct line of fire now. A stray bullet grazed by her shoulder; wincing, she made an effort to keep her mouth shut: it wasn't deep and she couldn't let it bother her now.

She knew it was the right moment to act when she heard the distinctive _click_ of an empty clip; shoulder rolling from behind the bush, she aimed one bullet at its chest, feeling satisfaction rise in her own when she saw that it indeed was doing damage: the Meurite seemed to have stopped the moment the projectile punctured his skin.

What happened next wasn't an accident, nor had it been something that the enemy hadn't been prepared for.

The Meurite that had been beside her had fired an arrow perhaps a fraction of a heartbeat after she'd picked her window of attack, but the arrow did something that the bullet hadn't. The moment it touched the grey skin of the enemy's chest, it was like the Meurite in front of them had deflated. Like… _Like a snake shedding its skin._

Bile rising in her throat once again, Lightning saw something rise out of the limp body on the ground, almost indeed, as though it had shed its dead skin and was back for a second attack. But the Meurite in front of them was no longer that sickly grey colour—the Meurite that was now in front of them was a distinctive blue; with scaly skin and tattered wings, it was reminiscent of one of those winged lizards that so populated the Archylte Steppe.

"It seems like you've ruined my disguise." The only thing that was the same about him was the voice—as contemptuous and confident as it had been back in the clearing. "It was bound to happen… I couldn't be 'Volechek' for very long, now could I? But you see, I needed his identity to assume leadership… but now that I have it, I think it's time to cast that shell aside, don't you?"

Lightning hadn't realized that she'd taken several steps backwards in disgust—she felt like throwing up again and the hand holding her weapon was dropped to her side the moment she thought about what she'd just witnessed.

"Volechek, you—" But the Meurite beside her didn't get a chance to finish his question.

"That's not my name. Since the two of you have seen my true form, why not give you an accurate name to accompany that? My name… is Arturo." The Meurite spread those tattered, reptilian wings as he spoke. Rising slightly into the night sky, he cast another glance down at them. "But don't think this is the last time we'll meet. You intrigue me, human woman, and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want to find out more about you."

With that, the Meurite spread his wings fully to disappear into the blackness of night.

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**So I think that's a good place to end it there, don't you? *grins evilly* Anyways, this chapter came as a surprise—I honestly didn't expect my dear father to take my laptop for the weekend. **

**With that said, I really _will_ leave you guys for a week or so until I get _Unwritten_ completed and shelved in my "completed fics" section. Leave love as always, and I will see you guys soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	19. Requiem

**So hey guys, and welcome back to the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**It's been awhile since the last update for sure, but I'm happy to say that _Unwritten_ is now happily filed away in my 'completed' fics section, so I can concentrate on _RW_ now. I'm excited, I really am_—_the storyline's just about to get fun and I honestly cannot wait to get to the later chapters. Lots of goodies up ahead_—_but I'm partically happy about this one because this chapter _for sure_ puts RW above the 100K word count mark. *dances*  
**

**Thanks and love go to LawMan (that's something I don't really want to disclose at the present moment, but I _will_ say that I will do my utmost to do that moment justice because I want it to fully reflect the time they've been apart?), Jack Hargreave (thanks so much!), GKMader (most of my inspiration comes from other games, otherwise I look up mythology/cosmology for ideas), and That One Reviewee (haha, you'll have to wait and see!). You guys are awesome, and I love it when people review_—_extremely inspiring and encouraging. :p  
**

**So anyways, I've denied you all this chapter for awhile_—_without further ado, I present Chapter 19!  
**

**Enjoy as always!**

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Chapter 19: Requiem

Morning stretched its fragile, weak fingers across the Gran Pulse landscape, touching red and gold highlights to the rust coloured earth around her, but Lightning made no motion to move from her spot. Fingers still tightly clenched around her weapon, she couldn't even begin to the feel the slow throbbing of the shallow wound left by a missed bullet. The sticky texture of that blood running freely down her right arm wasn't something that took priority in higher mental functions that were still struggling to grasp the events of last night.

No one had made a move to stop her when she'd brushed by the Meurites that were trying to deal with the half-destruction of their camp, and the Meurite that had been with her—what had his name been again?—had slipped off, no doubt to find the elders, the moment those tattered wings left the ground.

She hadn't stopped climbing the dusty rock faces until she reached the cliff that she'd found days ago—the solitary of the place providing some queasy sense of comfort… at least, it assuaged the disgust at the back of her throat. _I can't believe what I just saw. _The sight of the Meurite freeing its own body from the dead skin of another wouldn't stop repeating on fast-forward in her mind, and Lightning didn't think she'd be forgetting his last words for quite awhile: "_You intrigue me, human woman, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to find out more about you." _

It wasn't that she was scared of those words—she'd been a soldier for too long to think much of them. _But what _does_ scare me is what he might find out… _ She didn't think it would be too hard for him to find out things about her—especially if all he had to know, or needed to know, was who she cared about. _Because that's always the way to get to people, right?_ she thought bitterly. _Hope… _Remembering too late that the inside of her lip had already been bitten through, it was only a few moments before the familiar taste of blood pervaded her mouth.

Furious with herself for remembering that fact too late, Lightning tightened her grip on her weapon, willing for it to give the comfort she somehow knew it couldn't give at the moment. _Why do these things happen to me? _It wasn't hard to be angry at herself for chasing after him, and she tried to remember that he'd been interested in her _before_ she'd raised her weapon at him.

_Does he know? _That same question plagued her like an illness—she couldn't see how he could know that she'd once been a l'Cie, but there had been lots of things that weren't possible that had happened to her in the last few weeks and she was no longer as sure as she once was of her judgment.

Slow anger was beginning to take hold of her thoughts and emotions. _If I hadn't been here, he might not have found out about me… he might not have to know about Hope. _Feeling the same overwhelming, exhausting sense of defeat take over her, Lightning tried to fight the dire urge to sink to the ground. _Stop it… stop it. You can't help him if you give up now. What use are you going to be if you sink back into… _

That was something she was attempting to cling onto, but the defeated, guilty feelings were impossible to ignore and equally impossible to just banish with a thought. _It would've been better if I'd just died back then… _

_Back then… _

She wanted to drop to her knees then and there. _If I didn't leave… if I didn't go and leave him alone… none of this would've happened. _

Closing her eyes, Lightning tried to control the rapid, uneven breathing that had escalated the moment those thoughts had crossed her mind. Coupled with the earlier nausea from the images she couldn't shake from her head, it made her throat feel tight and constricted, and now she was fighting the urge to throw up, once again.

Pressing shaking hands to the just-warming stone, touched by the light of the morning sun, she tried to get a grip on herself. _Calm down, calm down… You're not going to save him if you keep this up. If you start acting like an invalid who can't keep a tight rein over her emotions, you're going to get treated like one. _

_Dammit, why can't I do this? _

It should've been easier than it was to keep a grip on the wasteland inside, but Lightning had long learned that expectations didn't always make it through to come into being in the physical world—more often than not, things didn't work out the way she would've wanted them to. _I paid for those mistakes last time… and I swore that I'd never make them again. But right now… what am I doing that's making it better? _She knew the answer to that one—it had been with her all along, and it was only compounded by what had transpired in the last twenty-four hours.

_Serah… please… tell me how I can make things right._

* * *

Hope toyed with the bunch of grass in between his fingers. The plant material was tough and it didn't bend easily to his restless hands, but that's what he'd been aiming for. Something to keep his mind occupied on so it wouldn't be able to dwell on the painful bit of reality that happened to be the present.

_I can't keep doing this. _It was painfully obvious—he knew he was doing exactly what Lightning had done four years ago, but right now… that thought wasn't as motivating as it ought to have been. _I can't keep doing this. If I'm going to find her… I have to keep it together. _

Taking a breath, he was surprised to find that his breathing was even and controlled—something he knew Lightning had trouble with when her less-than-desirable mental stability got the better of her. And perhaps it was memories of just that—the haunting images of both the hospital and her weaker moments that pushed him to grasp his resolve with both hands. _I can't keep doing this if I'm going to be of some use. I can't keep throwing myself pity parties, hoping for someone to come along and fish me out._

Steeling that thought inside him, Hope pushed himself to his feet, staring into the bright morning sunlight. _I will find you, Light. Wherever you are. _

His renewed determination to find her brought up other memories, ones associated from last night in Command. Still twiddling with the strands of tough grass in his hands, he didn't think much about the sound of the hoverplanes arriving at the base until a different—but familiar all the same—voice called out to him. "Hey—don't you kids remember who I am?"

Hope turned, his back now facing the autumn sun, finding the familiar silhouette of someone else he hadn't kept in contact with for the last few years. "Sazh." The name was a statement, but he felt oddly removed from those syllables. _He's going to ask me where she is too, isn't he? _The older man walked up to him, shielding his eyes from the morning glare with a hand, before looking him up and down. There was a twinge of something like gratification when Hope realized that he no longer needed to crane his neck up to look at Sazh, nor did the man need to reach down to pat him on the shoulder.

"Man, these kids grow fast… you're as tall as I am now," he grumbled. "I heard the story already," Sazh added in an undertone. "That's part of why they called me over—see, I work for Pulse Management now. Don't worry about soldier girl… she's tough. She'll be alright."

He didn't like the fact that the military had spread word that she was 'missing' so fast, but he supposed it was inevitable that it had happened. _She's a high ranking officer… obviously they're going to want to look for her. _The thought should've comforted him, reassured him that he wouldn't be alone in his search, but in all honesty, the only thing it did for him was remind him as to why exactly she _wasn't_ here. _Because I was stupid and naïve. _

But what Hope was thankful for was that Sazh didn't inquire further—that was what he liked about Sazh; that the older man didn't particularly worry about how things had actually come to be: he looked at the results and worked from there. "Well, gotta go find that hero of ours to say hi. You wanna come?"

When Hope shook his head, Sazh chuckled once before walking away with a jaunty wave, promising to update him on information once he got it. Watching him walk away, Hope took a breath, intending to go back to his spot in the Vallis Media camp when a hand touched him lightly on the shoulder. _Who…_ It couldn't be Sazh, and it couldn't be Snow either so who…?

Turning around, he found himself looking into the steel grey eyes of Telicyra Carmine. Instantly, his body wanted to recoil from the touch, before thoughts raced through his mind—before he could control himself. Seeming to notice this conflict, the scientist began in a low voice. "I still have some information I want to share with you. If you're willing, that is." Raising an eyebrow at him, Hope wasn't sure of what to make of the offer—instinct and past encounters told him that this man was not to be trusted in any way, shape or form…but logical reasoning spoke otherwise, remembering the offer that had been made to them before. Whatever else Carmine might've been, there was one thing the man had that Hope knew he would need, somewhere down the line. _Power. _

He knew exactly why Lightning didn't approve—_with good reason_, he added to himself. But desperate times called for desperate measures, right? There couldn't be anything wrong with using it once or twice… right? _If I'm careful, nothing should happen, right? _

Admittedly, he wanted to give into that desire: it was tempting, so tempting—there wouldn't be a reason for him to be scared of anything nor would there be a reason for him to cower behind everyone else because he couldn't fight. It was a resolve he _liked_, but… _But if she finds out… if she ever finds out, what will she say? _He didn't like the prospect of that either—especially if Lightning were to know that he'd picked one up because she hadn't been there to stop him.

_Is it worth it? _

In his mind, he thought it would be. But what it _wouldn't_ be worth would be that if she found out—as she inevitably would if they found her—the argument and the anger that would surely follow. _We just argued about something that could've been settled otherwise… I just don't want it to happen again… _

Swallowing thickly, Hope glanced up to see that the scientist was still carefully scrutinizing him, as though he was trying to figure out his thoughts by his expression alone. That tugged a little at the thorns embedded in his chest—the only person who could do _that_ well enough on a regular basis was Lightning. "So are you interested?" He noticed the man's endeavor to keep his voice light—but anyone could see the apprehension behind it, and suddenly, he was suspicious again, despite whatever else he might've felt just heartbeats previously. _Are you only asking me this… because she's not here? Because you knew she'd say no? _

He didn't know; and Carmine wouldn't exactly volunteer information about that, would he? _But it… it can't hurt to hear what he has to say. _Giving one shrug of his shoulder, he noticed something of a slightly smile quirk at the side of the man's mouth—_that_, he didn't like. Perhaps it was a little too reminiscent of all the power-hungry smiles he'd seen that were honestly enough to last him a lifetime, but whatever it was, Hope was reminded that Lightning wouldn't have distrusted the man without good reason. _Everything she does has rationale…and who am I now to belittle the decision she's made? _

Slightly wary, he kept his hand on the weapon that was stuffed away in the sling with his old scarf. As he moved his hand down, though, his fingers brushed the teal fabric of the scarf—reminding him, once more—and painfully—of who wasn't here and why exactly she wasn't here. The scarf held too many memories; not all of them good, but not all bad either… of moments lost between countless battles that were tainted with anger and pain, or embellished with a happiness and confidence that seemed lifetimes away now. Closing his fingers around the light material, Hope kept them there as he followed the man into one of the smaller buildings in the base camp.

_They seem far away now… but I _will_ get them back._

* * *

Sitting across from the scientist, he wasn't surprised when the man brought out a stack of papers. "I heard the two of you found some manadrives in the Mah'habara," he began lightly. The moment those words reached his ears, Hope felt his body tense—_So I was right. This _is_ what this is about. _"How did you find them? Useful?" Despite the fact that the tone was light and carefree, he could see the intensity in those cold steel grey eyes.

"Not really," he mumbled quietly, deciding that the best way to continue this particular conversation—for now, at the very least—was to be honest.

If that statement surprised Carmine, or if it was what the man had been expecting, he didn't show it. "But you say you found them in a weapon cache? Were there a lot?"

The conversation had taken an unexpected turn, but it wasn't for the worse—where the man was planning to go with it, he didn't know, but Hope still wasn't convinced that the man wasn't talking to him because he needed someone to use an amplifier. "No… not a lot of manadrives," he began slowly. "But there were a lot of weapons that had been recycled by the military."

"Ah, yes, I heard about that." Resting his fingers together, the scientist rested his chin on them. "I've got a theory about that as well—you see, if we go by the theory that the Meurites only emerged in their entirety perhaps a few years ago, then it would mean that they wouldn't have had much time to build up an arsenal."

Hope thought about that for perhaps a moment. "So you think that they stole because they couldn't make their own?"

The man nodded. "Precisely. We're still not sure when and how most of these Meurites came to be, but the more we come into contact with them, the more we'll know. But if what you've said is true, then they're stronger than we thought… because they have weapons now. So we'll need to be careful."

He'd been waiting for the scientist to finish off that point in the conversation by saying that it would even out the playing field if _they_ had magic too, but that particular sentiment didn't come up, because the scientist continued onwards. "We can't really do anything about the weapons now. But what we _are_ interested in is how they're getting them—your blond friend already knows this, but we've set up a watch at all the weapon recycling sites, hoping to catch a group of them to follow. That's what I wanted to share with you."

It didn't sound right to him—because Hope had been sure that that wasn't all the man wanted to say, but perhaps Carmine had sensed his earlier indecision and thought better of it. He wasn't sure; as he made his way over to the door, he couldn't shake off the sense of unease that there had been something left unsaid.

But his hand had barely closed over the doorknob when an alarm sounded throughout the camp—jerking his head up as soon as he was out the door, Hope spotted Snow running towards him. "They've found a couple of those creeps at a weapon site. The commander wants to know if we want to go."

The excited determination in Snow's eyes was hard to miss. _Do I want to go? _If he was honest with himself, Hope didn't think he was up for a fight—but that was when something else constricted his throat. _What if we find her? _That thought was impossible to ignore and it flared in his chest like a flame. "I'll go," he got out quietly.

Snow grinned at him. "See, knew you'd see it my way. Always listen to the hero."

* * *

Lightning found, to her surprise, that wandering off was easier than she expected. Perhaps the Meurites had taken her words to heart—that she didn't intend on running away, but _that_ was exactly what she'd been planning, as soon as she figured out a direction to go in and some indication of where Hope had gone.

There weren't any trees to speak of in this area of Gran Pulse—it was like a desert, and she knew it was far beyond where they might've travelled before. She couldn't even see Cocoon from here—and that went to say that it would take a long trek for her to be back in a place she had some inkling of direction in. Huddled in the dimness of a cave quite a ways from the Meurite camp, she was currently determined to scrub the dried blood off of her arm—there was a spring here, fed by some underground lake, and it wasn't long before the blood around the wound had been cleared away. It wasn't deep—she could thank the Maker that the bullet had barely grazed her arm.

Trying to force herself out of her earlier slump had been harder than she'd thought it would've been, but as always, trying to figure out something to do, attempting to do _something_ kept her mind off things. Exhaustion had been her only sanctuary from mental demons in the past few years, and Lightning honestly doubted that would change soon.

Looking around the silent cavern, a thought crossed her mind. _I could leave… now, if I wanted to. _She could—there wouldn't be an easy way for the Meurites to catch up to her, even with wings, and she had at least a good two hour start on them if they decided to come looking for her now. _But it's not the smartest thing to do. I still need to know where I am… and how… _

_How to fight back. _

No one had bothered explaining to her where they were—perhaps they thought that was a statement better left unsaid. _If I only knew what direction Cocoon was in… _ Just as she was pondering that thought, an even darker shadow fell across the dimness of the cave. She didn't need to look up to know who it was. "You wandered off again." The statement, though as flat as she'd ever heard the Meurite's voice in, held a note of accusation in it.

"So what if I did?" Standing up, Lightning met his gaze equally, feeling impatience bubble in her chest: how the hell had they found her so quickly?

"You know why the elders are concerned about you going off on your own. _Especially_," he made sure to emphasize the word, "after what Vol—Arturo said to you last night." _So you told them about that as well? _

For some reason, the words rubbed at her in a wrong way; irritation was beginning to creep up on her and she knew it. It wasn't uncalled for, but Lightning relished the familiar feelings of annoyance—it was better than breaking down and looking weak. "I'm sick and tired of you people treating me like I'm some precious doll—I'm not defenceless, okay? Why do _I_ matter so much to you anyways?"

"You didn't appear that way when we found you." The statement was weary, emotionless, and she suspected it was because he was tired of being the one always sent to chase after her when she wandered off. Nonetheless, it plucked at the delicate emotional balance she was struggling so hard to keep under control at the moment.

She tightened her hands into fists. "Just because you found me in a weak moment doesn't mean I'm that I'm that way all the time."

_Those _words finally seemed to make him snap. "Look," he began, a note of anger in it now—she noticed that he'd abandoned his formal tone— "we know you know how to fight. Didn't you prove it to us all last night? But you know exactly why the elders are interested in you—even _Arturo _is interested in you—doesn't that make you scared?"

It did… but not for herself. _Hope. _"Plenty of people have been after me," she snapped, choosing not to express that sentiment aloud, "one more isn't going to make a difference." Striding past him, Lightning made an attempt to leave the cave, only to be blocked by the Meurite's tall frame.

"Are you serious?" he breathed down at her. "Do you…You _do_ know who this is, right? How can you say…"

She pushed aside his arm angrily, feeling glad that her earlier statement hadn't disrupted the inner equilibrium that she was fighting to keep steady. _I'm not saying I'm _not_ scared. But I have people… people that I care about that I just put into more danger than I did myself. _Ignoring his last statement, she strode out into the late-morning sunlight back in the direction of the Meurite camp, leaving him staring after her.

_Because no matter what happens… I have to keep Hope safe._

* * *

The dim coolness of a different cave above her head wasn't comforting. Unlike the cavern this morning, in which she had been alone—and had given her an opportunity to try and recompose herself—this cavern was stuffy and Lightning could feel several sets of eyes trained on her.

She hadn't been surprised that the moment she re-emerged from the entrance to the Meurite camp that several of them had quite literally pounced on her, demanding that her presence was wanted in the elder's cave. _I would've fought… if I didn't know this was the only way to get information. _

Trying to maintain some outward appearance of composure, she crossed her arms over her chest; waiting, once again, for someone to speak.

"We understand you're… a little frustrated," began one of them; eying her carefully, Lightning noticed that the particular Meurite was trying to pick his words tactfully, as though he didn't want to offend her. For some reason, that gave her a fleeting sense of satisfaction. _Figured out I'm not the kind of person to go grovelling at your feet just because you saved me? _"But we've already, ah, expressed to you why we'd like for you to remain here—"

"No, you haven't," she intoned quietly; this time, her voice carried none of the hoarse rasp it had the previous time she'd been here. "You told me why you want me. I got your message… what else is there for you to say?"

"You don't seem very sympathetic," countered the Meurite that had been sent to fetch her—Lightning knew he'd told her his name before, but she'd never found it necessary for her to learn it.

Glad that the conversation had taken a turn in which she could continue it without feeling too much of a threat to her inner equilibrium, she clenched her slender fingers into fists. _I'm not sympathetic because it's not the way to end fighting. 'Understanding' each other won't solve future problems. It's what… It's what Hope said… that's why we argued. _The thought hurt no less than it usually did, but right now, in the moment in front of her, she could shove it back down her throat more easily than she would've expected.

She'd been about to reply, before one of the elders cut across them harshly. "Enough!" Shooting a pointed glare at the Meurite who'd spoken, he waited for silence before he continued. "This is why we'd like to offer you more information. Perhaps then you'll be convinced that we need to work together."

Narrowing her eyes, Lightning knew this had been the opportunity she'd been waiting for.

* * *

Looking down through the transparent glass of the hoverplane, Hope watched the unfamiliar Gran Pulse landscape slide beneath him—he'd never truly appreciated just how tall the mountains in the Yaschas Massif were.

Sazh had promised that the ride to the weapon recycling facility would be short—"_Only half an hour,"_ he'd quipped before strapping himself into the co-pilot's seat. Slightly wary of the attitude that the military was taking into this particular mission, he twisted his hands together in his lap, hoping that the queasy, uneasy feeling that had settled into his stomach would go away. _I have a bad feeling about this… _

Snow, as usual, was excited—but at the look on the blond brawler's face, Hope couldn't help but remember something Lightning had muttered under her breath at his eagerness to charge into things. "_He's like an over-excitable, moronic pet. He's ecstatic to do everything." _ The memory was bittersweet, and he had to swallow hard to push away the aftereffects of that unintended trip down memory lane.

As the landscape grew more and more unfamiliar beneath him, he couldn't help but notice that the clouds were getting thicker and thicker underneath the hoverplane. _Is it raining down there? _But that wasn't right—because it was still autumn, right? The rainy season on Gran Pulse hadn't started yet, and it would be a few more months before both rain and snow alike would cover the wide expanse of land underneath Cocoon's crystallized shell.

A sudden rocking of the metal aircraft jerked him out of his musings. Snow had stood up, fists raised in preparation to attack an enemy that wasn't in reach. The soldiers in the other sections of the aircraft had begun to move, but one glance out the window told Hope that whoever was attacking them wasn't attacking them from the inside. _I knew there was something off about this…_

But there was no time to be feeling jubilant that his gut instinct had been right, nor was there time to lament his decision to come along, because that was the moment the aircraft tilted dangerously to earth.

Hanging onto one of the poles that made up the interior of the hoverplane, Hope caught a glimpse of flurried snow as the aircraft dipped below the clouds. Caught in the moment of the terrifying, stomach-grueling drop from who-knew how many feet up in the air, he was surprised that he could feel a pang of astonishment at the crystalline flakes that drifted by the windows. Marvelling inwardly at their pristine perfection, he had to wonder why—or how—they could exist in a world that seemed all too willing to spill blood.

* * *

Night was settled like a black cloak across the unfamiliar landscape, but Lightning felt, for the first time in a very long time, no nervousness or fear as she set off alone across the desert sand. The sense of a _purpose_ crowding out all other emotions for the time being, she knew she needed to get as far as she could before that sense died out… as it inevitably would somewhere down the road.

The clinging, empty feelings were never far from her consciousness—like the dewdrops that faded once the sun rose, they would come back when some foreign nighttime crossed her path. But for now, she could be content with the fact that she _was_ in control of her emotions and mental stability. One hand tight on the handle of her omega weapon, it wouldn't be long before she was beyond the Meurite's range to track—not that she'd left a trail to begin with.

_Akanistha. _Some_ secret they were keeping from me. _It wasn't a term she'd heard before, but the note of fear in the elders' voices as they explained it to her had told her they weren't interested in lying to her.

It solidified the fact that the Eclipse _had_ been the catalyst to the birth of the many Meurites that were running rampant on Gran Pulse, but Lightning had shoved it angrily to the back of her mind. No doubt it would come back to haunt her later in a weaker moment, but… _But right now, I can and will do what I _need_ to do to make it right. _

Slipping out from the camp under the shadow of night had been beyond easy for her—so easy, in fact, that she'd suspected a trap. But a mile had passed—then two, and her fear of pursuit started to abate the further she got.

_Akanistha, _she repeated quietly to herself in her head. _The entity—no, the phenomenon—responsible for incomplete reincarnation. And I'm an idiot if I don't figure out a way to take out the barrier that protects it._

* * *

***wiggles fingers* I know the storyline has been progressing a bit slowly for a while, but Chapter 20'll pick it up, I swear. I really don't want to say anything else that I shouldn't right now, only that all these terms'll tie together in due time. (Speculation welcomed, however)  
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**Leave love as always (seriously, it makes me want to write all the faster) and I'll see you guys next time! Chapter 20 shouldn't take me _that_ long_—_sometime this weekend for sure.  
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**Hearts!  
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	20. Splintered Heartbeats

**So hey all, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
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**It's late here once again—and even later for those on the east coast—so I do apologize. D: I had less time than intended this weekend; this chapter was supposed to be up this _morning_... and yeah, I'm sorry. n_n  
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**Thanks and love go to Jack Hargreave, Gkmader, LawMan, Guest (awh, thank you), and That One Reviewee. Instead of replying to you guys individually as I usually do (because y'all pretty much have the same questions LOL) I'll just say this in general... I'd love to answer some of those questions, I really do, but unfortunately I can't. Tis the way the story goes...sadly.  
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**Anyways, enjoy as always!**

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Chapter 20: Splintered Heartbeats

Winter seemed to be waiting for him the moment Hope found the strength to crawl from the burning rubble that was all that was left of the military hovercraft. Wet, sticky snowflakes instantly freezing to his cheeks, he resisted the urge to brush them off, knowing that doing so wouldn't be of any help—after all, the flakes would only gather once again no matter how many times he repeated the action.

Gripping the elbow that had taken most of his weight from the downward plummet, he tried to squint through the falling flakes for something—or someone—familiar. Through the swirling, frozen liquid crystals, Hope realized he couldn't find even one familiar silhouette in the murky gloom; it couldn't have been later than early afternoon, but the sky above was already one akin to evening.

Struggling to lift his foot from a snowbank, he swallowed thickly when the flurries finally abated to let him see somewhat clearly for perhaps a moment—in the poor visibility, Hope could discern that they had crashed on some mountain range, which would explain the falling snow in autumn, but… _But who attacked us? _

He hadn't noticed anything in the air while still on board the hoverplane, so the attacks could only have come from the ground. _And somehow… I think I know who it was. _He would've liked to go and investigate the source of the attacks—and prove his hunch right—but the temperature wasn't getting any warmer and Hope knew he'd have to find some sort of shelter before nightfall.

Once quick check told him that everything that he'd brought with him, he still had. There was Nue and the last few manadrives they'd stolen from the Meurite weapon cache; feeling a slight flare of panic grip him when he realized that he had none of the supplies he would've liked to have had, Hope cast another glance back at the burning wreck of the hoverplane. There was no going back into _that_, and he would certainly be hard-pressed to scavenge something of value from it now.

_I'll have to make do with what I have. _Right now, he knew his first priority was to find some sort of shelter—he was alright in terms of food, for now, and if it really came down to it, Hope supposed he could melt some snow for water. _At least there's plenty of _that_, _he thought bitterly to himself.

Picking his way through melting metal that was staining the snow an ashen sort of black, he could discern the shadow of the mountainside through the flakes. The snow was falling faster now, but the wind had died down slightly, making visibility a little easier. _Where's Snow… and Sazh? _The blond would be about as easy to find in his namesake as finding a needle in a haystack—quite literally— but Hope remembered that Sazh had had on a darker outer coat. _Maybe that would be easier to find. _

But it wasn't him that found someone first, because he hadn't taken more than fifty or so steps in the general direction of the dark mountainside in hopes of a cave when a fluffy, wet ball of _something_ nearly collided with his head. As it was, the impact sent him stumbling a few steps backwards, and Hope looked up into the beady eyes of the nearly-full grown chocobo chick. It looked as intelligent as he remembered it, and despite the seriousness of the situation they were in, he felt a small pinprick of amusement make its way into his chest when the chocobo bent its head to pluck at the teal scarf still knotted in the sling he carried. "So you remember this too, huh?" he murmured quietly to the animal, wholly appreciating the warmth of those golden feathers—because the memories that that simple action brought up hit a little too close to home, especially in such a similar environment.

The bird let out a happy little squeal, before taking off in a different direction. Noting with amusement that the chocobo now relied on its powerful legs much more than it did its tiny little wings, Hope made to follow it—all things taken into account for, it possessed an intuition that none of them had had and it had to have come from _somewhere_, right? _After all, I know only one person who owns a chocobo. _

And sure enough, the golden bird led him straight to the people he hoped he would find—Hope spotted Sazh's wave before the bird had reached the older man. "Hey hey, look who's made it!" Sazh sounded genuinely pleased that his pet had managed to find him, and Hope was relieved to see that Snow was standing along with the chocobo as well. "Knew you'd be able to find him," he continued, patting the feathery head. The doting look on the older man's face turned into one of grim determination. "Isn't this a bag of fun? Getting shot down while going to look for the enemy is _not _what we had in mind."

Snow cracked his knuckles. "What're we gonna do about it now?" He jerked his head back in the direction of the burning hoverplane. "Anyone else back there you saw alive? The couple of soldiers we saw got lost in the blizzard. No idea if they'll be back."

Shaking his head, Hope looked from Snow to the chocobo, trying to decide what to do next. _We still need shelter… and a plan. _

"Well." Sazh scratched his afro as he looked to the sky. "The weather's not getting any better. I'm gonna go see if I can't salvage anything from that wreck… and locate a coupla soldiers. Why don't you kids try to find some shelter? C'mon, chocobo."

Watching the pilot and his pet disappear into the storm, Hope felt abandoned for all of a heartbeat before Snow clapped him on the back. "Looks like it's just you and me. C'mon, the hero is great at finding things in places like this. Let's get moving."

Despite the weather and the compromising situation they were already in, Snow's words brought the ghost of a smile to his lips. _I don't think so. _But since arguing with Snow in one of his determined moods was rarely worth it, he had no choice but to tag along after him; glad that the wind had died down, the snow drifts were a little easier to struggle through: he didn't have to lift his foot quite as high and there wasn't any danger of a fistful of icy flakes being blown into his face.

Hope cast one more glance at the peak of the mountain—shrouded in fog and _just_ visible through the snowstorm cloak, the sight of it somehow made him feel small and insignificant. "C'mon, Hope, you're gonna get left behind!" Snow's yell came from somewhere up ahead on the icy trail that spiralled its way up the mountain; it echoed ominously, and a flash of fear struck him. _What if he causes an avalanche? _

Trying to keep that thought _out_ of his mind, Hope retightened his grip on the icy, slick weapon still hung at his side and trudged up the mountainside after the brawler.

* * *

The autumn desert sun was getting on her nerves. She was sweating… and Lightning had been on too many missions not to know that the glare was beginning to mess with her sense of perception—once again. _But unlike last time… there's something I _have_ to do this time. _And that; that was enough to let her keep a relatively firm hold on fraying emotions that were all too determined to get the better of her.

The seemingly endless stretch of rock and sand before her was beginning to give way to scrubbly plants and shrubs—she _thought_ she was going in the right direction; from what the Meurites had told her, they'd witnessed Akanistha near one of the mountain ranges to the north of the desert they were currently located in. They'd been vague on the details, but _that_ wasn't something that surprised her—_Why give me all the more reason to go running off?_

Determined to make it to the treeline before the sun set that evening, Lightning increased the pace, knowing that pushing her body would help keep her mind from wandering. It wasn't ideal, but fatigue was her goal—exhaustion was better than waking up screaming from nightmares she couldn't escape from no matter how hard she tried.

Those insecurities and doubts had already begun to nibble at the blissful stability she'd finally managed to achieve sometime the previous evening—she was determined to _not_ let it take over _before_ she reached her goal: another incentive to keep herself going. _I can't act weak… I can't _be_ weak. If I'm going to protect him and if I'm going to get us all out of this mess somehow… I have to do this. _

Repeating those words like a mantra in her head was something she'd drilled herself to do in the last few years—always giving herself a goal to focus on, something to _do_ released the tight chains the lingering depression always placed around her. It was _hard_ to think the way she used to… because it was exactly that mentality that had brought everything crashing down around her—_A regret I can't fix, no matter how many nightmares I wake up from. _

She kicked a stray pebble under her boot.

And it hadn't mattered when _he _was there, because the nightmares came anyways—no amount of comfort would be able to completely erase the memories that wouldn't let her go, and no amount of physical reassurance would convince her that everything couldn't slip from her fingers in a second she had no control over. _I can't let it happen again. _Refusing to let herself dwell on the brief contact that had left both her skin and emotions burning with something _other_ than pain, Lightning angrily shoved the memories of her pathetically needy moments out of her mind. _Stop, _she chastised herself. _You're not someone who hasn't got any control over how she feels or what she wants. And all of _that_ has to stay hidden away somewhere else until the time is right for it. _

But _that _begged the question… _Would_ there ever be a time for it again? She didn't know—and didn't want to know. _I promised that I'd try to do things right this time… _Fully aware that she'd vowed to never let it happen again, there was always the question of whether _he_ was still angry at her for what she'd said. _I don't know. _

That was perhaps the scariest thing about this whole fiasco—because she'd _thought_ she understood him,_ thought_ that they had understood each other; but something that shouldn't have merited an argument in the first place had brought them to where she was now.

_It doesn't matter,_ she scolded herself. _Whether or not he's angry at you is beyond your control… and something you can't change. The only thing _you_ have to worry about right now is making sure that nothing _worse_ happens to him. _But the thought hurt—something the old Lightning would never have admitted bothered her—and she knew it; the thought that he would _stay_ angry at her caused some flare of panic to return to her chest, and the thorn that that panic carried with it was anything but insignificant.

_Okay, Farron, you're just starting to sound ridiculous now. You're not some sentimental crybaby, you're a trained professional. _Keeping that thought to heart, Lightning raked a hand through tangled pink locks, feeling a twinge of disgust when her fingers came away sweaty. Giving her head a shake, trying to dispel those thoughts that chased each other around in her head, she concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other.

The darker smudge on the horizon was grower larger—drawing closer to the treeline at the edge of the desert, she could make out the faint outlines of taller mountains; ones that were very, very different from the sandstone, rust-coloured compact dirt of the desert. But she was no longer scared of that; digging inside, Lightning found that she was anticipating whatever was coming for her—them—with something akin to the determination she'd felt in the final days of their last fight.

Slipping into the cool dimness of the trees and glad to be out of the dying afternoon sunlight, she paused for a moment to catch her breath. The air here was dense and muggy—saturated with moisture, not unlike the Sunleth Waterscape. The humidity was getting to her; she had a feeling she wouldn't be properly dry in this place, and as Lightning advanced forward cautiously into the dark trees, an arbitrary thought crossed her mind. _Just how far did they take me from the Sulyya Springs? _

She had no name for the trees and desert around her, and the unfamiliarity of her surroundings unnerved her: she had no idea which way 'home' was and the only landmark she _thought _she recognized were the mountains in the distance. Before that vein could continue, she slapped herself mentally. _I'm not here to think about how to get back, I'm here to go and investigate Akanistha… whatever the hell it is. _

There was very little undergrowth to speak of; for that, she was glad—that made her footsteps nearly silent in the dim woods. Visibility would be poor, even if it weren't for the fact that night was falling: vines and other assorted mosses hung thickly from the large, wide tree branches and she had to use her gunblade often to cut away the plant growth that dangled in her way.

_But this… this I can deal with. _Moving undetected through the forest in search of the phenomenon that the Meurites had mentioned was something she could do. What she _couldn't_ do was escape from those clinging cobwebs of memories and emotions. _If I could just strangle the part of me that's been so much more in tune with my emotions since… _It wasn't so hard to force it away while she was walking and thinking—what was hard was keeping them at bay when she settled down to rest… as she inevitably would soon enough. And in this unfamiliar forest… who knew what her surroundings would do to her once she slipped into the uneasy realm of sleep? Memories of that very first night crept up on her almost instantly—the choking panic, the sense of longing that was quickly crushed by the painful reality check… and the almost inextinguishable, defeated sensation of guilty emptiness.

_Urgh._ Rubbing her forefinger and thumb against the corners of her eyes, Lightning pulled in a hasty breath, willing that to soothe the suddenly-pounding heartbeat that those memories brought. _Stay calm, stay calm… _

Deciding that this would be a good moment to get a general sense of where she was, she pressed her hands against the bark of a large tree. The plant material beneath her hands was soft and firm—not ideal for climbing, but it would have to do; there weren't many different tree types here and this one had a lower branch she could grab onto easily.

Digging the tip of the omega weapon into the trunk, she used that to haul herself upwards; clearing twenty feet, the treetops began to thin, but Lightning suspected she would have to be a good fifty feet up to be able to see across most of the top.

Her hands gripped at the wide, spongy leaves of the branch that jutted out above the rest; the texture was different from what she was used to, but it was enough to pull herself up onto that last branch from which she could see _most_ of the humid forest spread out beneath her. It was only when she was sure that the branch wouldn't break under her weight did she sit down—really, it wouldn't be a bad place to spend the night.

The view before her was less than appealing. Most of the trees were shrouded by some dense mist, preventing her from seeing too far. The mountains she'd spotted earlier had been covered by those same clouds—under the treetops, she'd attributed to the gathering darkness as night falling. _But it wasn't. _What appeared to her as rain clouds had gathered—and from the looks of things, rain would not be far away.

But between possibly being followed and attacked on the forest floor, and getting wet above the canopy, she'd take getting wet. _After all, who knows _what_ I'll be screaming tonight in my sleep. _It was a sadistic thought, to be sure, but it was one that she had no doubt accurately reflected her current mental condition.

Stabbing the tip of her gunblade into the firm tree trunk to ensure it wouldn't fall sometime during the night, the motion caused something to catch her eye in the distance. The forest wasn't all trees—as she'd previously assumed and as she _thought_ she'd just made sure. Inching a few steps forward on the branch just to make sure of what she was seeing, an orderly stone structure was _just_ visible through the foliage, the top of it exposed to the open air.

That in itself might not have surprised her—after all, there could've been civilizations that had existed on Gran Pulse long before Cocoon had fallen from the skies, but what _did_ grab and hold her interest was the fact that she could discern certain shapes circling the stone structure, also just visible through the leaves and mist. _And I'm fairly sure I know what they are. _

_And if they're here… then what they're guarding can't be something good._

* * *

Piling snow at the entrance to the cave they'd found set into the countryside, Hope cast a furtive glance back at Snow, who was whistling away to himself as he tried to start a fire with a Fira manadrive and a pile of sodden twigs. _That's not going to work… _

But he knew better than to argue, and since there was nothing else for them to _try,_ he supposed he didn't have any better ideas.

The wind outside was picking up once again, bringing with it the first cold bites of winter along with the sticky flakes that clung to his skin like old cobwebs. His hair had been clinging to his forehead with dripping ice for the past half hour and the only comfort he could find in the current situation was that the wind wasn't blowing directly into their faces.

Sazh hadn't yet returned with his chocobo—something Hope was growing increasingly worried about— and as the darkness fell outside, he hadn't seen a single soldier come their way either. _Is… Did something else attack them out there? _He would've liked to go check, but going out now would be slow suicide, as Lightning would put it. _I can't even be sure I'll be able to find my way back… _

Swallowing at the thought of being consumed by those vicious snowflakes, Hope turned his back on the swirling white outside, only to find that Snow had still not succeeded in lighting the pile of damp twigs he'd somehow managed to procure while looking for shelter. Mopping damp platinum bangs off his forehead, he stepped back to inspect his handiwork—it wouldn't keep out an enemy, but it would hopefully stave off most of the weather effects for the rest of the night.

Deciding that it would be wiser if he just sat back against one of the icy cold stone walls of the small cavern than help Snow tinker with the fire—the blond would never live it down if Hope got it started and he couldn't—he wrapped his arms around his legs, burying his chin against his knees.

So much had happened in just the last twenty-four hours that he couldn't even begin to grasp the enormity of the events. It'd started with Carmine; and he was _still_ fairly certain that the man hadn't said all of what he'd wanted to say. What had been left unsaid was anybody's guess, but Hope thought he had a fairly good one. _There's no way he's given up on those amplifiers just yet. _But further pondering wouldn't do any good—the man was back at the military base and they were out here.

_So who attacked us? _Hope thought he had a fairly good guess for that as well—after all, they'd been travelling to the site where Meurites had been spotted; it made _sense_ that the enemy would try to stop them.

And all of that led to a deeper question… _Just what do they _want_? _According to the commander back at the base, the enemy hadn't made a statement of intent or anything of that nature. _But they wouldn't do it…for no reason, right? Why risk your entire race on something that doesn't matter? _He didn't know—and Hope had a feeling he didn't _want _to know the reason behind their attacks. He couldn't help but think back to what Lightning had repeated to him before: "_In the four years that humans have been on Gran Pulse, nothing like this has ever happened. It can't have been for no reason, right? We've had to have done something wrong." _

_Light. _He was still no closer to finding her than he was before… and now _this_ had thrown them more off track than possible: he didn't have a clue as to where they were. Feeling more lost than ever, Hope tried to keep his mind off of memories of happier days. It hurt less when he wasn't able to compare the current weeks to the months that had been before.

And perhaps the cruelest part of the whole thing was that he _knew_ his current mental predicament _could_ be solved by just _talking_ to someone—and he knew exactly who that _someone_ was... it was so cruelly ironic that the person he wanted to talk to was Lightning herself. Bridging his right hand across his face, Hope tried to halt those thoughts before they could continue any further. _Stop_, he told himself. _Sitting here and wishing things were better isn't going to make it happen. _

The slow crackling of burning wood managed to get his attention—Snow, it seemed, had finally coaxed a flame out of the damp branches, and dim firelight began to flicker in the cave, casting ominous shadows over the cold, stone walls. "And your hero saves the day," he declared triumphantly.

Hope wasn't sure whether he was supposed to smile or groan in frustration. _Snow just never gives up on the hero act, does he? _

But that wasn't to say the blond fighter was insensitive, or anything, because he knew that Snow could be serious just like everyone else. _And he's changed too… since… _The changes were subtle, and perhaps keeping a happy façade was Snow's way of dealing with the pain; he wasn't going to make any remarks out that—because if it was, it was a healthier way of dealing with things than the method Lightning had chosen.

Snow rested his arms behind his head, flicking a glance at the storm outside. "Y'know… there really _isn't_ much of a point of keeping watch tonight—there's a storm blowing out there and by the time we see something we'll have been woken up anyways. Why don't we just get some rest?"

All too happy to oblige—the elbow and shoulder that had taken most of the impact from the crash was still throbbing quite painfully—Hope decided to remain put, back against the stone that had been somewhat warmed by his body heat. The muted sounds that managed to reach into the cave beyond the snow coat was somewhat soothing; even though it was colder than he would've liked, he thought he would be able to fall asleep.

Still unused to Snow's snoring, it was awhile before he could feel sleep creeping up on him.

* * *

_The sound of dripping was back. Instantly cowering back from the sound, remembering what had happened in this realm in his last visit, Hope didn't want to move forward an inch. The constantly shifting light and darkness gave off a falsely reassuring sense of peace that he knew better than to accept._

_But he didn't have a choice in the matter, because he'd spotted her again._

_Each footstep was like stepping onto a bed of knives… just like before. But he wasn't going to question it, nor was he going to forget what had happened the last time around; this time, he wasn't going to let that happen._

_Not to her, at any rate._

_But no matter how loudly he called her name, she couldn't hear him. The individual sounds of the two-syllable name echoed around them, bouncing off invisible walls he couldn't see, and she was still deaf to his shouts. Whether she couldn't hear him, or was choosing to ignore him, he didn't know… and didn't want to know._

_Every single muscle in Hope's body seemed to freeze when he saw her stretch out a hand towards something—a misty, fragile something that seemed to be made of wisps of smoke. For some reason, he knew he could _not_ let her take that hand—whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good. _

_She still couldn't hear him._

_Racing forward, he pulled both his arms around her waist, trying to drag her back from the misty, indistinct figure that was reaching for her. For a moment, just one moment that might have reverberated across time and space itself, she rested her head against his throat—her first sign of acknowledgment that he was there… and then it happened._

_Something tore through his back; running through his body, Hope could feel his blood intermingled with hers. He couldn't turn his head around to see who their attacker had been, but it was Lightning that crumpled to the ground first, bringing him along with her._

_The shaft of whatever it was still buried in both their bodies; Hope could feel his head dropping lower— he was losing the fight to stay upright. Chin brushing the cherry coloured locks that hung in messy knots down her back, he was trying not to crush her under his own weight. _

_But the suffocating and the darkness was winning—it was a battle that had been lost before it had even begun... and neither of them had any chance of escaping it._

* * *

"_Hope!_"

The one syllable name was screeched into the still morning air before she clamped her mouth shut; furious with herself for losing control—once again—in her sleep, Lightning bit down on her tongue to stop the rest of what her mind wanted to wrestle from her lungs.

Gripping the branch underneath her with fingers that wouldn't stop shaking, she tried to pull in deep breaths that would steady her erratic heartbeat. _That_ didn't work as well as she would've wanted it to: her body seemed bent on gasping for the air that she couldn't seem to pull in at a rate she needed.

Lightning could feel her pulse hammering not just at her throat, but throughout the entire upper half of her body. Breathing and trying to calm down seemed something that was impossible to do, as she tried to shut the images out from her mind. _It was just a dream… it was just a dream… _

The thought should've comforted her—really, there was nothing _here_, in the physical world, that would've harmed her, but her willful thoughts proved to be as intangible against her inner wasteland as they'd ever been. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to focus on a regular rhythm and nothing else. _In, out… in, out… _

Head dropping to her chest, pink bangs fell into her eyes as her hands gripped the branches underneath her with unnecessary force. _It was just a dream… You've got somewhere to be today, Farron; don't let something as normal as a nightmare stop you now. _

The thought was something she'd been trained to think, but inwardly, she had to marvel at how pathetic the words were—Just_ a nightmare? Yeah, right… _

The fingers of her left hand had found the cold metal surface of her lightning bolt pendant, the cool metal somehow spreading icy fingers of calm throughout her trembling body. Trying to disregard how badly she was still shaking, Lightning forced herself to get up; testing the weight of the branch beneath her feet, she began the arduous climb down the tree. _Maybe doing something'll help… _

But if she wished to cling to _that_ sentiment, she was sorely mistaken: even when her feet touched the solid ground beneath it, Lightning found that she was no calmer than she had been up above the tree canopy. _Shut up_, she commanded herself. _You sound like someone who doesn't belong outside the mental health ward at a hospital. _

The ironic thing was that she probably didn't—_if it weren't for Hope… _"I don't want to think about it, I don't want to think about it…" The images weren't far from her immediate consciousness; they weren't something she wanted to dwell on, but she was unable to disassociate herself from them. _How I could've ended up… in all honesty. _

_Okay, Farron, stop. _Pressing a palm against her face, Lightning wanted to strangle those thoughts then and there. _You have something to do here. _Setting herself in a brisk pace in the rough direction that she'd seen the circling Meurites the evening before, she could taste the damp humidity in the air; the storm that had been brewing the previous evening had yet to break.

And under the thick leaves of the trees above, it was almost as dark as nighttime—only her internal clock told her that it wasn't yet dawn.

Pushing herself was something that worked—focussed on traversing the forest floor, it wasn't long before Lightning found herself at the edge of a clearing. On any other day, the sight in front of her might've made her stop and pause for a moment to marvel at the architecture that belonged to the ancient races of Gran Pulse.

But today, with her mind still teeming with images she would've done almost anything to be rid of, the sight of the stone temple—with Meurites guarding the very obvious entrance—instilled nothing in her but determination to find out just why exactly they were so intent on guarding it.

Sure, it was taking a detour from her current mission to find Akanistha—whatever the hell that was supposed to end up being—but if there was something out here that merited _this_ kind of guard, then… _It's worth my time investigating. _

Pressing her back to the trunk of a wide tree half-hidden with undergrowth so as to keep herself hidden until absolutely necessary, Lightning stared at the structure in front of her, trying to work out the best way to get herself inside without too much trouble.

* * *

***grins to herself* Intended, is all I can say. But this sets up the stage nicely for the next two or three chapters—we're almost at the halfway point in the storyline, I'm thinking— and things'll start happening like crazy starting from just about now.**

**And yes, you're right, Jack Hargreave, where are all my people? You guys just being lazy or am I just not performing up to par these days?  
**

**...I'm kidding, I love you all. I wouldn't abandon stories or anything just for something so trivial—writing was a big part of my high school life and now that I'm struggling through university, it's a passion that I use to unwind. Kind of therapeutic for me in a way—there's often no other way for me to express myself in a science major and I like to think of it as all good practice.  
**

**Either way, you guys've been awesome and amazing so far—I'd never let that be unsaid. Next chapter should take me a few days; Wednesday is my goal for Chapter 21, so I will see you all soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	21. Artificial Life

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!**

**I was super stoked to finish off this chapter today, _despite_ the fact that I had to retype, well... all of it, because my laptop failed me once again. *sighs* But that's alright... really, I only cursed at it for about half an hour or so, because I got one of the most awesome reviews of my life last night for _Nascent Requiem. _I mean, a lot of them were really heartwarming, but this one... I could've cried. Someone actually went and did a recording for Chapter 1 of_ Nascent Requiem_ and gave me the link. *bawls* Thank you so much to hee7! o3o  
**

**But thank you and love go to: Mylaervain (and no worries****—**technology fails us all at some point *grumbles*), LawMan (and I'm in Pharmaceuticals n_n), That One Reviewee (yeah, that is actually true**—**didn't think of that!), GKMader (yes... they do. But unfortunately I'll be dangling "separation" over their heads for awhile longer... sadly), and Tager96 (thank you very much! :3). You guys are seriously awesome, and I can never thank all my supporters enough. ^w^  


**So anyways, enjoy as always! (:**

* * *

Chapter 21: Artificial Life

Flicking her gaze upwards, Lightning kept her back pressed against the trunk of the gnarled tree as she had been for the last half hour or so, intently studying the structure of the stone temple and the behaviour of the Meurites that guarded it. There was only one way in—of that, she was sure. _There has to be a way to sneak by them. _

It would be stupid—and suicidal—of her to hope that she would be able to simply charge in and take on all the Meurites head on. Biting down on her bottom lip, she took in, once again, the sight of the six guards that were positioned in front of the dark entranceway and the four circling Meurites that flew above the stone structure. Lightning knew her capabilities—and current mental stability—well enough to know that _that_ was a fight that would be lost before it had even begun. _If there was someone else here, I'd ask them to go for a distraction; anything to draw them away from this area... even for fifteen minutes. _

Suddenly sure of what she was going to do, she ducked under the wide expanse of leaves that the gnarled tree offered. Silently making her way through the forest, she paused under the branches of one of the taller ones perhaps five minutes later. It was less suited for climbing than the one she'd found last night... but she had no other choice. _This is the only thing I think might work...and between charging straight into a horde of guards and a plan that _might_ succeed... I'll take the latter. _There was plenty for her to lose...but there was also a world for her to gain if it actually worked. _Anything worth doing... has its risks. _

Keeping that thought to heart, Lightning stabbed her omega weapon into the tough plant material, using the gunblade to pull herself upwards. It was slow going—the trunk was smooth and slippery and the branches she could've used as elevation were few and far between; it was nearly ten minutes later that she was precariously balanced on the highest branch that would support her weight. From her new vantage point, she could see straight across most of the other tree tops, right at the circling Meurites above the tip of the stone temple that was just visible above the tree line.

She would've liked to take the shot she was currently contemplating kneeling on one knee on the branch, hidden from immediate view by the dense foliage that the tree offered, but now that she was actually up here, Lightning could see that it wasn't really going to work: the leaves obstructed her view enough as it was, and standing was always the position in which she had the best accuracy. _And I can't fuck up. _

She was perfectly aware she had one chance to do this—if she indeed messed up somewhere in the next five minutes or so, she would be digging herself a deeper hole than the one she was already in. Gripping the leaves that grew in abundant bunches on the wide branch, she pulled herself into a standing position, flicking the omega weapon into gun mode.

Lightning wasn't really all that surprised to find that her fingers held a fine tremble to them that she couldn't control. As determined as she was to make sure she was doing everything she could to keep her inner wasteland under control, the sad truth was that she _still_ couldn't shake off the clinging vestiges of last night's dream—and the memories it instantly brought up. _Serah... Hope. __I promised... I'd try to do the right thing this time around, I promised... _Trying to shove those emotions underneath a calm and composed exterior was something she could no longer do—the fact that she was still shaking was tantamount to that.

But what pained her was that it was starting to eat into things that normally would've quelled those feelings: action—keeping herself focussed on a goal—was something that always pushed those feelings somewhere below her immediate consciousness, allowing her to concentrate. _I know it's bad... when I can't even do _that_. _It hadn't taken much more than a recurring nightmare to reinstill the same sense of defeated guilt inside. _What's the point? How do I know anything that I do will help? How do I know that he's not..._

She wanted to screech at herself to stop—thinking that way wasn't going to bring her closer to _him_ in any way, shape, or form._ But how do I know that this won't lead me back to... _As much as she hated herself for thinking those thoughts, Lightning didn't find those particular painful memories far from her current state of mind: the Purge, the palace in the far northern reaches of Gran Pulse, the hospital... things from a past she couldn't put behind her. _Hope... _

Those same selfish, pathetically needy fingers were back, gripping her throat and chest in an infinitely tight vise-like hold. _I wanted it to work out... but in reality... he deserves someone so much better. He deserves someone that can actually let go of her past. _

_Stop,_ she chastised herself angrily, _You _can't_ think about that now. You have a job to do, Farron... do_ _it. _Whether she wanted it to stop because she needed to concentrate, or whether that thought was just too painful for her to continue, Lightning didn't want to know. Taking a breath and willing it to calm the breathing and heartbeat that was much too rapid and uncontrolled for her liking, she refocussed her attention on the circling pattern of the Meurites just above the top of the temple. Her heartbeat was still pulsing through her throat, but the forced pattern of breaths she was making her body adopt gave her a illusory sense of control. _Not ideal... but I'll take it. _

Raising her omega weapon to shoulder height once again, she clenched her fingers around the handle—a little too tightly, but her right hand stopped shaking when she did it. _Okay... calm down. This isn't supposed to be hard. _On any other day, she might've had no qualms about the target she currently had in mind: it was nowhere out of range and she was in a relatively good position to do it. _Stop, just stop,_ she commanded her body. _I just want to do this without... _

She had to cut herself off before that train of thought could continue.

Her index finger tightened on the trigger, waiting for the Meurite that she was currently targeting to make its way back to the side of the circle that would be closer to her tree. The moments seemed to stretch on in silence, and Lightning realized she felt as tense as she might've done on her first mission outside of the academy. It was ridiculous, of course—she hadn't been a rookie for the better part of seven years—and there was nothing about this particular shot that was _supposed_ to be challenging: she didn't even have to hit the Meurite dead on. _Just something to hopefully make them think there's an attack coming in this direction. _

It was a steep bet, to be sure, but there was nothing else for it: it was the only thing she could attempt on her own and out of all the plans she'd mulled over back at that tree near the clearing, this one had the best chance of success. Of course, if it failed, then all of this could just be a giant waste of time, but Lightning wasn't going to let this opportunity—like she had so many others—slip through her fingers. _There has to be something there that's important. _

The shot caught the Meurite in question in the wing; she stayed put long enough to watch it spiral to the ground before leaping off the branch in one fluid motion. Dangerous, yes, but it was time that was essential to her now; she wasn't going to waste it by climbing down branch by precarious branch. Landing with her knees bent to absorb the impact, it only took her a few heartbeats to recover from the fifty-foot drop; she would've liked to have her Grav-Con unit with her for it, but the small item was one of the things she hadn't had the luxury of snagging from a military locker before their frantic flight from Eden.

Pushing her body into a sprint, Lightning was past caring about the amount of noise she might've been making—the screeches and yowls of the Meurites in the distance drowned out all sounds her feet might've made on the forest floor. Dark shadows swooshed overhead, momentarily darkening the sky above, and she could hear the crashing sound of loud footsteps about seventy yards to her right—not a distance they could spot her from with the vines and undergrowth that seemed abundant in this area of the humid forest.

Skidding to a halt at the edge of the clearing, she flicked her weapon into sword position: there were two Meurite guards left, anxiously prowling at the entrance of the temple. Slowly creeping forward, pressing each footstep into the grassy plain that surrounded the stone structure so as to ensure her progress was silent, the two guards didn't notice her until it was too late.

She buried a bullet into the back of the neck of the first before the two were even aware that someone was approaching them. The second swiped at her head with outstretched claws before she met its second blow with her weapon straight on. Locked into a standstill, Lightning narrowed her eyes—she knew perfectly well that it was physically stronger than her: she wouldn't be able to keep this up for long.

Thinking fast, she shoulder rolled to the side, ducking underneath the retaliatory strike the moment the pressure of her weapon was removed from its claws. But she had already won—even though the Meurite didn't know it yet, its clumsy attack had already created the opening she was looking for. Dragging the serrated edge of her gunblade up its side, the tip of her omega weapon met flesh... then bone.

The Meurite dropped to the ground with a dull thud.

Quickly stepping over it, Lightning set her gaze on the dark entrance to the stone temple; for some reason, the sight of the entrance made her think of the dark tunnels in their last journey that had seemed all too intent on swallowing them whole... literally and figuratively. _I can't think about that now. Maybe... just maybe, if I do things right this time... _

The thought was arbitrary... a result of her foolish hopes and dreams—she was under a time limit and this was certainly no time to be standing around the entrance dawdling—but as she cautiously made her way into the stone temple, Lightning could feel the familiar emptiness take over the slight flicker of hope that it created. _Who am I kidding... for all I know, I could _never_ make things right again. _

* * *

Red-gold sunlight bounced in glaring arcs from the mountains opposite, as Hope opened his eyes for the third time after finally drifting to sleep. The first time, he'd been simply woken up by Snow's snoring that could be heard even above the howl of wind.

But the second time was the time he didn't want to think about—even after returning to an uneasy sleep, the nightmare still clung to him like a child clinging to its mother. Usually nightmares in themselves didn't bother him—the fears they presented were assuaged simply by waking up. A small flush of heat crept up his neck and throat at the thought: _Usually... usually they have something to do with losing her. It's okay after I realize... she's still there. _But in the light of recent events, that source of comfort was no longer there. It wasn't a surprise to him now that those nightmares spoke directly to his innermost fears, the ones he was struggling to hide beneath a normal disposition.

_But I'm not... __I'm not going to hide from them. _That was a sentiment that was surprisingly easy to cling to, surprisingly easy to accept despite his earlier uncertainties. As disturbing as the nightmare had been, it had somehow reinforced the fact that he had to find her. _I'm not going to let that happen, I'm not going to let that happen... _Using the fear that the nightmare had instilled in him proved to be fuel instead of a weight that dragged back at his shoulders.

Suddenly desperate to get moving, Hope scrambled to his feet, shielding his eyes from the glare of the rosy morning sun. Peering over the snow stacks he'd made last night at the entrance to the small cavern, all he could see was a pristine, unbroken field of snow stretched over the treacherous mountain range. If Sazh and his chocobo had come sometime during the night, their tracks had been erased by the storm.

That particular thought was worrying, but Hope was painfully aware of the fact that he couldn't do anything about it now—he had no sense of direction to begin with... _And they could've gone anywhere. _He couldn't even see the wreck of the hoverplane from here; even though he had the feeling that they hadn't actually walked that far in the snow yesterday... there would be no point in looking for it: there was nothing else of value that would have survived both the fire and the ice.

Methodically checking that he still had his weapon and the last few manadrives, Hope cast a furtive glance back at Snow, who was still snoring by the coals of the dying fire. Deciding that this would be a good time to wake him up, he made his way cautiously over to the blond brawler, prodding him on the shoulder once.

It took some effort to wake Snow up—Hope suspected he'd spent the better part of fifteen minutes trying. But finally, the fighter rubbed his eyes against the morning sun, muttering under his breath. "S'morning already? I could sleep for the rest of my life."

Choosing not to respond to that comment, Hope wandered over to the entrance of the cavern with the intent to let Snow come to the rest of his senses by himself. Carefully testing the thick blanket of icy flakes with his foot, he wasn't surprised to find that the layer of snow was halfway up his calf before his foot hit something solid. _It's going to be tough going anywhere... _

While the brilliantly coloured sunbeams on snow was an infinitely more welcoming landscape than the one they'd walked out into the night before, it also highlighted to him just how far from _anything_ they actually were. All Hope could see around him were mountains—but these weren't the mountains they easily scaled in the Pass of Paddra, or the Yaschas Massif. These were mountains in which he couldn't even see the bottom of from his vantage point—the turquoise ribbon of a river far beneath the peaks of the grey stone was no thicker than the width of a pencil. The sight of the tops of the surrounding mountains, highlighted in the rosy morning hues of pink and orange, struck him with an odd realization... of how insignificant he actually was in the face of things.

A dull crunch of boots on snow distracted him from those musings. "Bit bright, isn't it?" Snow was holding a hand to shield his eyes from the glare of sunlight as the blond brawler struggled through the snowdrifts to reach the edge of the mountain trail where Hope was standing. "Anything you see?"

Shaking his head, Hope scanned the area around them one more time; not finding a familiar sight in any of his surroundings, he cast a glance upwards to the peak of the mountain they were currently on. Snow was staring upwards as well, musing out loud. "Why don't we go up? See if we can see anything?"

_Why can't we just go down? _He didn't see the point of continuing to go up—Hope doubted there would be anything of value to them at the very peak—and it would inevitably turn out to be a giant waste of time. _Besides... we could run into Sazh on the way down. _He'd just been about to voice this particular thought when Snow's hand gripped him on the shoulder. "Look," he hissed.

Flicking his gaze up again, following the blond's, Hope caught the sight of wings against the periwinkle blue sky. Apprehension suddenly gripped his stomach in tight knots: he had absolutely no doubts as to what that was. _Why are they here? _He had a feeling it couldn't be anything good... _But do I want to find out? _

He didn't have a choice in the matter: Snow was already racing up the mountainside as fast as the thick snowbanks would allow. "W-wait!" he called after the fighter, even though he knew his shout had zero chance of making Snow stop: when Snow was in one of his determined moods, there was little _anyone_ could do about it. _And I can't really leave him alon_e...

Chasing after the brawler, Hope was infinitely glad for the fact that Snow had broken ground on the heavy snow that lay in their path—all he had to do was follow exactly in Snow's footprints and he himself wouldn't have much trouble climbing the mountainside after him. The only thing was... Snow made about two steps to every three of his—though the prints made it easier for Hope to follow, it was a struggle to keep up with Snow's pace.

_I just hope whatever's up there is worth all this trouble. _

* * *

Casting a quick glance down the hallway behind her, Lightning skidded past another corner, ducking under the fallen column of rock that had to have fallen across the walkway in centuries of disuse.

It wasn't as dark or as ominous as she would've expected a place like this to be—so far, she hadn't seen anything that merited the guard this temple had had... but what she _couldn't_ ignore was the fact that this place dredged up her claustrophobia almost instantly. The air was dank and heavy—something that didn't help someone trying to get a grip on her surroundings—and she was sweating again...something that was happening far too easily for her liking.

Briefly, Lightning wondered whether it would be worth her time to completely collapse the column that she'd just ducked under, before she decided against it. _There could be a million other ways to get to where I am now... and I'd just be broadcasting my general location to any Meurite within earshot. _Making her way down the new hallway, she tried to squint through the gloom. In some ways, the dimness of her surroundings was worse than complete darkness... if it had _just_ been darkness, she could've just concentrated on her senses of hearing and touch alone. But this, this strung her along like some unwilling marionette—with just enough light to see around her in a five meter radius, she could spot things _just_ before they got shoved in her face. It didn't help—that wasn't enough time to react to any sort of attack, but it didn't keep her from straining her eyes to see as far as she could.

Lightning was aware of the fact that she had perhaps a ten to fifteen minute window from the time she'd entered the temple to the time that the Meurites would suspect a ruse... at which point they would've come racing back to find their dead companions on the ground. She hated leaving such an easy trail; really, she could've been waving some neon flag that read 'Come and get me!', but what choice did she have? There wasn't time to hide the bodies and she couldn't reanimate them somehow with no memories of her.

And sure enough, perhaps twelve minutes later of blundering around blindly in the dark, she'd heard the screeches and yells, knowing that the Meurites would now be after her.

The only plus side to the whole thing was that the place was like a maze: there were a million side paths and hallways, all of which she could've taken. _But they know exactly what they're supposed to be protecting... while I'm still here in the dark searching for it. __And I'm willing to bet... _Narrowing her eyes as she turned another corner, the lack of obstacles in her way was unnerving her. _If _I _was building this temple... I'd make sure that its downfal__l wouldn't be totally dependent on the competence of its guards._ There had to be a catch... somewhere.

But she wasn't going to complain—this, all of this, was what she'd been trained for. It took all of her awareness to navigate through the dark tunnels and just about every single speck of her consciousness to keep on alert for danger and pursuit while straining to see as far in front of her as she could. That left little room in her higher mental functions to dally around the usual things that plagued her: guilt, nightmares... and memories. _Things I _haven't _been trained to deal with._

No sooner had she taken a false step forward into a small puddle of water did something rumble behind her; whipping around, blue eyes widened at the sight of the doorway she'd just passed through sliding shut. Gritting her teeth, she had no choice but to keep going. Raking her hand through messy pink curls, Lightning set her gaze on the doorway opposite, about thirty yards down the straight hallway. Moving forward again, intent on getting through it before something else happened, she was about halfway down before a screeching _something_ crashed into her side.

Taken off balance by the attack, she was forced to the ground; the impact had knocked the breath from her lungs and whatever it was—of _that_, she had a very good guess—on top of her was heavy: not something she could throw off with relatively little effort.

Right cheek pressed into the dirt on the stone floor, Lightning froze when claws dragged down her left arm, tearing through the black sleeve that covered most of it. Her right arm was pressed underneath her—she could feel the outline of her omega weapon against her thigh—and there wouldn't be an easy way to wrench her arm free of her own weight either. _Think!_

Forcing herself to relax as the claws dug into the crook of her elbow before continuing their way down her left arm, she heard the hum of satisfaction from the Meurite pinning her to the ground: either it thought she'd been knocked out by the blow, or it thought she'd given up. But the moment it relaxed was the moment she'd been waiting for: digging her right elbow into the ground, she scrambled to one knee, using the momentum to throw the Meurite off of her.

It landed with a squeal on the ground, but Lightning wasn't going to give it the chance to get back up and attack her again. In the gloom, she could make out its silhouette against the even blacker floor. Squeezing the trigger as fast as the mechanism would allow, her final shot caught it in the throat as it made a move for her again.

Silence consumed the hallway as fast as it had been disrupted.

Lightning clambered shakily to her feet; in the darkness, it was impossible to assess the damage done to her left arm starting from about halfway up her upper arm and ending just above the glove she had on. It was no doubt bleeding though... and she didn't have any way to stop it. The injury in question wasn't the thing that bothered her; _that_ was something else she'd been trained to deal with, and in the light of everything that happened to her at some point or another in her life, one scratch down an arm wasn't really anything that was going to be a serious detriment.

No, what bothered her was definitely the fact that anyone _else_ who came down the hallway would see the dead Meurite... and would also be able to deduce the fact that it had injured her. _No blood trails, _she told herself quickly. Stuffing the omega weapon back into its holster, she gripped what she could of the scratch with her free hand. Moving forwards once again, a sharp flare of pain in her right hip told her that _that _ was probably bruised as well. _Urgh. _Her list of injuries was growing: there was the burn scar stretched down the back of her left calf and the graze of the gunshot that she'd taken a week ago.

Determined to not let that stop her, Lightning paused at the end of the hallway, peering through the stone doorway there before making a move. The hallway down to her right was significantly brighter than what the rest of the temple had been—she realized there was a light flickering down there...wherever it was.

Making sure her footfalls were silent, she crept down the new hallway, keeping to the shadows until she could see past the end of it.

As she suspected, the Meurite guard outside hadn't been for naught: there were four more guards here, conveniently shielding from her view whatever it was they were supposed to be guarding. It couldn't have been big, though—the Meurites were clustered around the centre of the room—but she would have a hard time slipping past all four of them, especially with the rest of the Meurites combing the rest of the temple for her.

Moving her right palm from her left arm, Lightning examined her newest injury in the flickering firelight. It wasn't _too_ deep, but it was as she suspected: it was stretched down most of her arm. _I won't be winning any hand to hand combat with this for awhile. _Reaching behind her legs for her weapon, she pulled it silently up to shoulder height, hoping to the Maker that the faint click of the gunblade switching to gun mode wouldn't alert any of the guards.

If it did, none of the Meurite showed anything on their impassive faces. She hadn't seen any like these before and Lightning wasn't sure if they could throw magic at her... something that would make her current task much more difficult than it already was. _Still... _Her best option, once again, was to snipe one or two before they knew she was there and to work from there.

Readying the gunblade, finding, to her relief, that her fingers were more steady than they had been a few hours ago, her first shot caught one of the guards in the chest, dropping it like a rock. There was no point in concealment anymore—and the sooner she got her hands on whatever they were guarding, the better. She had absolutely no interest in whatever it was... _All I know is that if it's important to them, they'll want it back. _She wasn't sure if whatever it was was going to be worth using as a bargaining chip, but it would be better than nothing. _And maybe... it'll help me figure out this whole mess. _

Dodging the heavy blow that came from the Meurite nearest to her, Lightning spared it one glance before dropping it with a bullet to its calf. It wouldn't be enough to kill, but she didn't have time to finish it off properly and it wouldn't be chasing after her any time soon at any rate. The next Meurite that launched itself at her was a four-legged one; flattening herself to the ground to avoid its leap, she let out a hiss of pain as her bruised hip brushed the ground.

Scrambling up, she turned to find that the Meurite had missed her... but it was turning around now, and the one that was still behind her was closing in. She was about halfway across the room to whatever they were guarding, and there was one Meurite between her and the object that she could now see was nestled on a stone platform.

Diving to one side just as both Meurites came in for another attack, Lightning set her gaze on the miniscule red orb—not much bigger than a large marble—and shut out everything else from her immediate consciousness as she sprinted for it.

Out of breath and feeling the throb of pain in both her side and arm as acutely as ever as she stumbled over the stone steps that led up the the platform, her bloodstreaked left palm closed over the small, warm orb just as her knees gave out underneath her. Just before her fingers pulled the small object into a tight grasp, Lightning caught the Pulsian words inscribed on the tiny glass sphere; Pulsian that she was now able to read.

_"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death." _

* * *

***wiggles fingers***

**Sorry, no hints from me this time. You guys'll have to wait till the next time around to see what _that _means, but I can assure you it is nothing bad? Well, relatively speaking of course****—**and Hope will get more attention next time around as well. *pats him on the head*  


**Anyways. Chapter 22 honestly should not take long****—**it follows up directly where I left off, so I'm thinking Saturday or Sunday at the latest. (It could be sooner for sure) Leave love as always, and I'll see you guys next time!  


**Hearts!  
**


	22. Metempsychosis

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**I planned to have this chapter up this weekend, but I finished early. It would've been up yesterday had I had the time to go through and edit, but oh well.  
**

**Thanks and love go to: LawMan (stay tuned, stay tuned), H-thar (welcome back! And how I wish I could answer some of that... I really do. Hopefully the chapter ahead relieves some of those inquries? And you're welcome, by the way, that oneshot was a pleasure to write ^w^) Jack Hargreave (let's just say... she isn't completely herself at the moment, shall we?), That One Reviewee (and YES, I was thinking back to the game—there was this ONE jump in particular about halfway through Chapter 3: Lake Bresha, where I just went o_0 that's one crazy jump), GKMader (yes, technology fails whenever I need it most it seems -.-), Tager96 (thank you very much—and I do hope I don't disappoint!), and Mylaervain (haha, well, you'll see. ;D)! You guys are awesome, you really are, and thank you _all_ for the support!  
**

**So without further ado, I present Chapter 22!**

* * *

Chapter 22: Metempsychosis

The moment her hand closed around the tiny glass orb, Lightning felt something akin to fire sear through her palm—but she couldn't jerk her fingers away, as though the flame that had been housed inside the smooth surface had turned to ice—and had frozen her body into the position that it had been in when she'd first grasped it. Fingers glued to the tiny sphere, she couldn't struggle nor could she turn her head around to look at the progress of the enemies behind her. _Shit... Shit! _

Trying once again—unsuccessfully—to wrench her hand away from the tiny thing and to push her body up from the kneeling position she was currently in, Lightning found that she couldn't even grit her teeth in frustration or scream out some sort of curse at her current predicament.

The fire—or was it ice?—was spreading up her arm rapidly, leaving a scorching, numb sensation behind it: Lightning felt as though it had burned away the nerves and muscles that existed under her skin and left nothing but dead flesh behind. There were words being shouted around her, but she couldn't hear them—the syllables were indistinct and muted and they held absolutely no meaning no matter how much she wanted them to.

The burning sensation had reached her chest. In retrospect, it reminded her of the pain that always accompanied her summoning of Odin... but this was different. The pain wasn't confined to the general location of her brand, it had burned through her body as though her flesh didn't exist, leaving her utterly helpless against it. _But if this isn't Odin, then what...? _

She didn't have to wait very long for an answer, because the moment the flames—or ice; she couldn't tell which— curled its fingers around her heart, the glass dissolved under her fingers. Her limbs were suddenly free of the painful bindings the tiny orb had placed on them and Lightning could hear herself coughing against the lingering vestiges of agony in her chest.

The sounds of battle had returned two-fold, crashing into her ears like it had been held back by some invisible wall. Staggering to her feet, gripping the platform behind her for support, Lightning whipped around to find the two Meurites backing away from her. _Why... _She didn't get it—here she was, probably the most vulnerable target on the surface of the planet now that every last ounce of strength had been drained away from her; one hand still gripping the scratch dragged down her left arm, she was leaning back against the stone platform that had held the now-gone glass orb, fighting the desire to sink to the ground again. _Why aren't they attacking me? _

Coughing and still short of breath, it was that moment that she jerked her head up to see a colossal flaming bird hovering in the vicinity above her head. Trying to push herself upwards with one arm, she flinched involuntarily when the bird flapped one wing in her direction, sending burning spheres straight for her. Closing her eyes, Lightning didn't want to see—or feel, for that matter— the moment that they would inevitably crash into her.

_I'm going to die._

That one thought was the only thought she was able to coherently understand—the one thought that overrode all others. It was funny, because she'd thought she was going to die so many times before...and by some miracle, that event didn't happen. _All the things I'm supposed to regret? Yeah, they're there, _she thought sadistically. _All those stories of how you only really regret the things you've done when death is about three centimetres away from you? _The images—the memories—were impossible to banish: blowing through life on auto-pilot like nothing else existed for her... pushing everyone who wanted to get close to her because _she _hadn't wanted to get hurt. And _that_, Lightning realized, was the mistake at the crux of every single other mistake she'd made: that she couldn't grasp the enormity of the things she'd done wrong until it got to the point where she could no longer fix them.

And this time... death was inevitable. There was no one here to save her, no one here to _die_ for her like someone had the only other time she'd been in such a situation. _Serah..._ Even if the flame from the burning phoenix didn't finish her off, the dumfounded Meurites standing there _would_ once the bird disappeared.

She had expected the fire to burn—to utterly _consume_ every single scrap of evidence that she'd ever existed on this earth... only to find that it didn't. It _did_ burn, but it wasn't painful, nor was it destructive in any way. Lightning could not feel her skin being charred to an unrecognizable hunk of dead flesh... because it _wasn't_ a destruction. It was a creation: a release of something that had been long since buried inside, never to be reawoken unless there existed a catalyst for it... and it seemed that she'd found that catalyst.

The power running through her limbs was a sensation she hadn't felt for a long time, but nonetheless, it was familiar. _I'd know it anywhere. It's what started all of this... and it's what will _end_ all of this. _And in the sidetrack that she'd so foolishly taken, it seemed to her that she'd finally found the reason why the Meurites wanted to eliminate all humans with the potential to use high-level magic. _Because of this. _

Lightning had no idea what the fiery, bird-like entity above her was, but right now, it didn't matter: there was a certain amount of power that she could _feel_ thrumming through her chest and arms and she intended to use every last bit of it before time ran out... as she instinctively knew it would, soon enough. She had no idea how she knew that fact either—_But lots of things have happened recently that shouldn't have; I'm not going to worry about it now. _

The lethargy and the lightheadedness that had gripped her body after she'd touched the orb was subdued—muted, but it was still there. Lightning had no doubts she would be feeling the complete aftereffects of whatever she'd done to her body soon enough, but it was like running on adrenaline—the effects only stayed until her body deemed that she was safely out of danger.

Running forwards, she flung aside the four-legged Meurite with one slice of her omega weapon, fully relishing in the electricity she was now able to put into the blow. The Meurite hit the wall with a squeal; she'd been about to leap towards it to finish it off, but the swooping, flaming bird got there first, running it through with those burning feathers._ One down, one to go.  
_

Turning her attention back to the remaining Meurite, who'd stupidly tried to take a swipe at the phoenix, Lightning stumbled back a few steps when the fiery bird let out a screech of anger and dived towards the Meurite, knocking it off its feet. A dry wall of heat hit her cheeks as the flaming entity passed, but she ignored it, sprinting forwards to knock it aside with another blow that was no doubt powered by her own magic.

Silence consumed the air as the Meurite dropped to the ground—the only thing she could hear now was the crackling of flame; whether that was from the firelight that lit the room or from the burning phoenix's wings, she couldn't tell. Looking up, Lightning noticed that the bird was watching her with a beady, intense gaze. Slowly reaching up her left hand, the hand that had first gripped the orb that the bird must have come from, Lightning stretched her fingers towards it. "What are you?"

The words had slipped from her in uncontrolled, hoarse whisper, but the bird didn't answer. It wasn't like Odin—it didn't respond to the questions and thoughts teeming in her mind, and it showed no synergy with her in battle other than the fact that they shared the same foe. _What are you? _But Lightning had absolutely no doubt that the strength she'd just used had come from this _bird_, whatever the hell it was, and a thought wormed its way into her mind. _What if it's like the amplifier Carmine showed me? _

She didn't know—and part of her told her to be suspicious of what it was, but there was another part of her that was somehow reassured that that was _not _ the case here.

Something was reforming in her palm.

As Lightning looked down at her left hand, she could see that the faint outline of the small red orb was beginning to gather on the glove that had first held it.

_I come when you need me most. _She jerked her head up, glancing around for the source of those words, but there was none: the only other presence here apart from her was the bird that was fading from sight. _You are not my master, nor am I yours. You held enough strength to wake me; according to my kind, I am bound to aid you when you need strength most. My strength is not dependent on yours—when you call upon me, know that I am able to free the binds that chain your otherwise human soul._

She was waiting for more, but it didn't come. The phoenix flapped its wings one more time before fading into the darkness, now enclosed in the much-dimmer red orb that was no longer warm in her left palm. Gripping the tiny sphere tightly, Lightning fought the sudden desire to sink to the ground again—the strength that the bird had provided had vanished as quickly as it had come.

There was nothing other than silence now, and for a moment, she let that weakness take over, dropping to one knee on the cold stone floor still clutching the small glass sphere. As she held it up with trembling fingers to examine it more closely, now that she was out of imminent danger, Lightning caught the words inscribed on the smooth spherical surface once again. _"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death," _she repeated in a whisper.

Drained as she was both physically and emotionally, she couldn't even begin to piece those words together. _What the hell is it supposed to mean... the 'last enemy' is death? Why is death an enemy at all? _The second question had just formed in her mind when an uncomfortable pain seized her chest in response. _Who are you kidding, Farron? Remember someone who didn't want to keep living at all after her sister died? If death isn't the greatest enemy... what is? _"Stop," she mumbled; hating the voices that threaded through her muddied thoughts, Lightning raised a hand to grip the pink locks at her temple as though her nails could strangle them.

The realization of her personal interpretation of the ancient words carved on the smooth glass wiped away what should've been a sense of triumph—that she'd figured out most, if not all, of the pieces behind the Meurite mystery. _There were these things scattered around Gran Pulse... he didn't want humans who had the potential to find them to use them... that's why he wanted us taken out. These... these stones, they have spirits inside of them that can fight. If Arturo couldn't use them, then he didn't want _anyone_ to use them._

_But why couldn't he use one? _

She shook the murky scarlet orb in her hand, as though the bird would reappear because she wanted an answer to that question. But the sphere in her hand was as silent as it had been before she touched it the first time. _Like it's resting. _Giving a soft inward snort, Lightning used the wall to push herself back into a standing position, feeling thoroughly exhausted—and not just from a physical standpoint.

She hadn't exactly forgotten the thoughts that crossed her mind when she thought she was finally going to die, nor were the words "_The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death" _going to leave her easily. Finding it an ironic, cruel metaphor for her current predicament, she clenched the sphere closer in her left hand, feeling its smooth surface grit against the texture of her glove. As much as the Pulsian letters inscribed on it hurt, Lightning knew very well that it had been—and would be—her ticket out of sticky situations when it came down to it.

The bird had made it very clear it came of its own accord; she could not summon it nor did she have any control over its actions. _But what I do know is that while it's here... I can use magic. _It was supposed to be a comforting thought—really, it solved more problems than she could probably think of at the moment— but the fact that she had no control over its timing nor strength made her want to grit her teeth in frustration. _So I'm supposed to just blunder through the rest of the time helpless? _

It wasn't exactly true, but the exhilaration of the battle that had just happened made her realize how much _more_ effective/powerful she could've been had she had it all the time. _And maybe, just maybe, it could've helped me fi__nd Hope that much sooner. _

Shoving that thought back down her throat before she could continue to dwell on it, Lightning pushed her body into motion. _There's no point in sticking around... I have to get out of here before someone comes back. _

The claustrophobia came to smoulder her the moment she left the brighter, lit area where she'd found the tiny orb now stuffed safely away in her pack. And this time, without an immediate goal and without the imminent threat of danger, Lightning couldn't fight it off as easily as she would've wanted to. Flickers of memories came to meld with reality, messing with her perception more than a couple of times—certainly more than she was prepared to deal with. She had to stop every so often to force herself to calm her breathing; while the encounter with the summon, whatever it was, was empowering in many ways, it had left her more vulnerable in so many others: the stark reminders of _why_ she was in her current predicament to begin with, for one, and the painful realization that she was even more useless in the face of everything the phoenix represented.

It felt like an eternity had gone by when natural light stemmed through the darkness that was all the temple provided—the grey, watery light was dim, but right now, Lightning would've done just about anything to get rid of the pressing darkness that closed like an iron fist around her. Stumbling the last twenty or so steps to the entrance of the stone structure, she found herself looking outside into a haze of heavy rain.

Her first few steps outside were tentative and uncertain; she wasn't sure how much further she could push her battered body before she had to stop. But the rain—as heavy as it was—felt soothing on her skin...and that was more than she could've hoped for. It washed off the blood and grime that was the proof that she'd just been involved in something dangerous, but what it couldn't wash off—and what Lightning direly wished it could—was the emotional weariness that had been with her since day one.

Looking up at the thick cloud cover through pink bangs that were plastered to her forehead, she bit her lip.

_Hope, where are you? _

* * *

Struggling through the thick snowbanks grew increasingly difficult as Hope tried to keep up with Snow... but the sad reality of the thing was that he just wasn't as _tall_ as the big blond—it seemed to him that for every two steps Snow made, he had to make five. Even the fact that Snow had broken fresh ground in the deep drifts didn't help by the time he hauled himself over the last rocky cliff: Hope was out of breath and in dire need of a break. _Why couldn't we have just gone down and been done with it? _

He wanted to laugh at the incredulity of the thought, because he _knew_ the answer. _It's because nothing stops Sno_w _in one of his determined moods. _The layers of icy flakes was lighter up here; shielded from most of the severity of the previous night by the nearby peaks. The snow had blown into uneven drifts; conveniently, most of the treacherous path uphill had relatively little snow hampering their progress.

Still, his foot had sunk into knee-high drifts more than once, and Hope was currently trying not to show his frustration at their current predicament. _Sure, we might find out what they're up to_—_ but it's getting us no closer to Light... or anyone else, for that matter. _

An inhuman screech from just up ahead made every single muscle in his body tense. He'd been straggling some distance behind Snow now—the burly blond promising that he was _only_ going ahead to scout—but Hope pushed his protesting body faster nonetheless: it was just like Snow to bite off more than he could chew and find himself in a losing battle.

"Oh _yeah_!" he heard the taunt from up ahead. "Bring it on, creeps!" There was the sound of a blow, and then several more, before Hope heard the sound of a sickening _crack_ echo through the otherwise silent rock. _He really _is_ fighting... _

By the time he'd made it to where Snow was standing, the blond brawler was already staring down at several limp bodies on the ground, ragged feathers decorating the pristine blanket of snow with ugly dark patches. Snow cracked his knuckles. "They weren't hard to take out—think they were grunts or something."

Staring down at the closed eyes of the birdlike Meurites, Hope couldn't suppress the surge of unease that was associated with the sight of death. _It's just like before... _The sight in front of him dredged up the memories of _that_ day almost instantly; and while he knew perfectly well that now _wasn't_ the time to be dwelling on something like that, he couldn't help but ask himself the same question he'd asked her that day: _"Do we really need to kill to win?" _

Deciding that this wouldn't be a good time to bring up the morals to Snow, Hope looked past the fighter to spot a dark entrance in the side of the cave. It was familiar somehow...though he was sure they'd never been here before. His feet wandered over to the entrance of their own accord... like he was being pulled towards it. Though the place had an icy, cold air about it—like the Ice Cliff Palace had done—he was inexplicably drawn to it, like rain was drawn to earth.

_Crunch, crunch. _The footsteps behind him told him Snow approaching and Hope heard him crack his knuckles again. "You see something interesting in there?" All inhibitions and doubt of the path they'd taken this morning forgotten, Hope was the one to take the first tentative step into the icy cavern.

Icy crystals shimmered softly in the morning light, reflecting a bluish light back to him. It wasn't ominous though—far from it— though the place reminded him, inwardly, of the Ice Cliff Palace. His mind wanted to shrink back from this place; run, and never turn back, but something else drew his body forward. _Like... like it's been waiting for me. _"Whoa," he heard Snow mutter behind him. "This place..."

Stone was twined almost in perfect synchronization with ice—just another not-so-subtle reminder—but... _But I'm not scared, for some reason. _He wasn't sure why that was... after all, he'd had enough of ice and stone for the rest of his life, whether it was in memories or dreams, but there was something here; something that told him he wasn't _supposed_ to be scared.

_I'll take that. _

His tentative footsteps hesitated as soon as the straight path sloped downwards. _Should I keep going? Something's telling me I should, but... _Snow peered past him into the strangely light surroundings, but the ceiling dipped down with the passageway, preventing either of them from seeing too far down. "Can't see much from here. C'mon, it's worth checking out, aight?"

With that, the brawler brushed past him, confidently leading the way.

The gently sloping path continued downwards for awhile, but Hope was no longer paying attention to the path in front of them; he was busy staring at the inscriptions in the walls. Sure, it was in Pulsian, but it wasn't all words and he found that he could now _read_ most of those Pulsian words. The walls seemed to tell a story; some of it was hidden behind planes of ice and some of the stone was just too worn to read, but he could piece together the gist of it.

It was a story that was familiar to him now: the story of creation, of how both Cocoon and Pulse had been created. He'd heard it told many times in his childhood, _seen_ it almost happen on their first journey and reread it over many times in many different mediums in their second. It wasn't a unfamiliar in any way, and Hope found himself anticipating the next pictures before he reached them.

The stone pictures ended just as the previously narrow path opened into a larger room. This one was also decorated with stone sculptures, some long frozen over with ice—but they all shimmered with that same strange light he'd seen before. Slowly walking forwards with Snow, Hope could make out a small, glimmering object raised on a platform behind what looked to him like a grave.

Part of him instantly cringed—however _right_ the rest of the journey had felt, the sight of the flat tombstone unnerved him: it wasn't supposed to be here. How he knew, he didn't know, but the sight would've given it away anyhow: the grave was made of an odd white marble; unlike the rest of the sculptures and the structures here that looked many millenniums old, it didn't look weathered and worn at all... as though it'd been placed here as an afterthought within the last few decades.

Moving forwards, it was Snow that bent first to read the Pulsian carved roughly on the rock.

_Kanith, the priest of death.  
Xenon, the priest of rebirth.  
Yubel, the priest of_ _creation._

_The great priests of the Anabrahka Clan, whose hands opened the door to the Unseen Realm.  
_

_Their lives are gone now, but their legacy will persevere. The summonses that they created will endure, allowing their wielders to together close the door to chaos. Known throughout bloody history as the "Umbra Gear", the "Stones of Destiny", amongst many others, the Kalasutra lend themselves only to those that they deem worthy.  
_

"We found it," Snow hissed almost instantly after he finished reading the tablet out loud. "This 'Umbra Gear' crap... it's here, isn't it?"

Hope moved forwards until he was almost directly in front of the white grave; bending down on one knee to more closely examine those words, he felt something jerk in his stomach. "But that's not right... it says its name is the 'Kalasutra'." _Did the Meurites just get it wrong? Or are we looking at something completely different here? _

Snow shrugged. "They could've just used the 'commoner' term for it, says right here. Does it matter what they're called, so long as it's the same thing?"

"Well... no," Hope admitted quietly. _But it doesn't make sense. If you're going to make something so powerful... why give it so many different names? _He was positive there was something else here—something, if he only had more time to puzzle over, he could figure out. _There has to be a catch. You don't just give something random names and hope everyone knows what you're talking about._ "You'd only give something a different name if you wanted to hide it," he mused to himself.

"Sorry?" Snow asked behind him—Hope hadn't realized that he'd said those particular words out loud.

Shaking his head, Hope got up. "Nothing," he amended quickly. He wasn't quite sure why he didn't want to confide in Snow about this particular question, but something held him back. _I want to figure it out first._ Quickly dusting off his hands and cleaning them of the stone dust and ice shards alike, he turned his attention to the stone platform just beyond the tombstone, shimmering with the same light that illuminated the whole cavern.

There was a small metal ball resting on it, obviously enclosing something else. Making his way closer, Hope caught the words on the stone beneath the metal. "_I come in the time of greatest need," _he read aloud, shifting from one foot to the other. It was obviously some sort of direction, but for what, he didn't know. He'd been about to eye the metal ball more closely when Snow came up behind him.

"Wonder what this is?" Snow mused, plucking the metal sphere easily from its perch. Hope had reached out a hand, ready to stop him before he realized nothing was happening. Snow was holding the small metal ball as easily as he might've held a marble. _Weird. I thought... I thought for _sure_ something was going to happen when Snow picked it up. _

Snow shook the metal thing, grinning when he heard a rattle inside it. "So it _does _have something inside," he crowed triumphantly. But no matter how hard either of them tried, they couldn't prise the cold metal open, as though the container was determined to conceal its treasure until the time was right. _Wait... what? _Hope cast another glance at the words carved on the stone that the metal container had rested on. _"I come in the time of greatest need." _

Taking the metal ball from Snow, he turned it over in his hands. _What does it mean... when we need it most? _He was sure there was something important inside—the tombstone in front of it had been tantamount to that—but if they couldn't get inside the metal container, what good would it do? That was when a flash of gold on the shiny silver of the metal caught his eyes. More Pulsian, but he could read it as well as he read the stone inscriptions on the way down. "_Where your soul belongs, there will your heart be also." _

Blinking rapidly at those words, Hope read them several times to himself, but he could make no more sense of those words than he had the first time. _Where my soul belongs... _He didn't know what that was supposed to mean—wasn't his soul _here_, inside his body? _And heart? _But _o__bviously_ his heart and soul were carried in the same container at the same time—_How would you be alive if they weren't? _

Giving his head a disgruntled shake, he stuffed the small metal ball away where he kept his weapon. _I'll figure it out some other time. _Right now, he couldn't hope to begin to figure out the meaning of either of the inscriptions; the early surge of triumph that they'd finally cracked _some_ aspect of the mystery surrounding their lives had been wiped by the duplicitous simplicity of those two phrases.

Snow gave a carefree shrug. "Might as well take it with us, right? C'mon, I don't think there's anything else to see here and we should probably get going." Scratching the stubble on his chin, the brawler led the way back up to the entrance to the small cavern. Hope trailed along behind him, still thinking about the two phrases that had utterly thrown him from the confidence that if they _just_ had enough information, they'd be able to figure it all out. _But now I'm confused... these Meurites came here, right? Did they know it was here? Weren't they looking for it? _

It didn't make sense—if they _knew_ it was here, then why didn't they take it? It was pretty obvious to Hope that whatever was inside the metal sphere was important... even if he couldn't open it. _But just because no one can open it _doesn't_ mean you leave it lying around... _

"Don't you kids have any sense of decency?" An angry, indignant shout came echoing across the narrow passageway as Hope glanced up into the brightness of the rising sun that poked through the entrance to the cavern. Sazh was standing there—along with his chocobo and a couple of soldiers— with his hands on his hips, one finger pointed accusingly at them. "I go to all this trouble to get in contact with some soldiers and you kids go running off. Geez, if it weren't for the footprints where the hell would I have gone to find you?"

Snow laughed, clapping the older man on the back. "Sorry to worry you, gramps; we spotted some creeps up here and decided to take a peek. Nothing interesting much around here though. Just some old ruins and some trash we decided to take along."

"Don't you call me gramps!" Sazh countered, flustered. "_I_. Am not that old. I just came and found you, didn't I? Maker," he groaned. "What do teachers teach kids about respect these days, huh?" With Sazh still muttering under his breath about disrespect and his bad back, and Snow chortling away, Hope followed one of the soldiers to the new hoverplane that Command had sent for them.

Sitting down, and watching Sazh wrestle with his chocobo in an effort to get it _back_ onto the hoverplane, he pulled out the small metal sphere again; shaking it lightly, he heard that same rattle coming from inside. Clearly, judging from how Snow put it, the burly blond didn't think much of the cold metal ball Hope now held in one hand. Snow might've taken the tombstone seriously, but when neither of them could open the little thing in his palm, he'd lost interest. _But it's gotta be important... right?_

His fingers traced over the thin words carved onto the metal in golden lettering. _"Where your soul belongs, there will your heart be also." _He gripped the tiny thing in one hand as the hoverplane finally lifted off from the snowcapped peak, Sazh shouting that they were going to detour at the bottom of the mountain to pick up some of the surviving soldiers before heading back to the base camp in Vallis Media.

As the craft dipped below the clouds and mist, Hope caught a glimpse of the wild, untamed Gran Pulse landscape spread beneath them before the hovercraft dropped too low for him to see over the mountains. The sight of it made him feel—as the sight of the mountains had this morning—small and insignificant. _Because... it's such a huge world out there. How am I going to find her? _

* * *

**So hopefully, that was informative for you all. I'm trying to be discreet, I really am (and I'm all for letting you guys figure stuff out on your own) but I think that if I don't explain things properly this time it could lead to an unwanted interpretation.  
**

**The stone, that tiny little glass thing? Think of it like a summonstone, whether it be from Dissidia/FFVII/FFX, whatever game you want to associate the original concept of summoning with. What summon that was, well, I think that's pretty obvious, but I did try _so_ hard to make the summon symbolic... which I hope was clear enough. n_n  
**

**Anyways, leave love as always, and I'll see you guys soon! I'm going to do my best to have another chapter up sometime this weekend, but we'll see. See you all soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	23. The Intent of Good and Evil

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**Man, I wanted so badly to get this chapter out over the weekend, but the sad truth was that it was a pain to get out. (And I think you'll see why) I worked so many elements into this _one_ chapter_______—_maybe I shouldn't have done, but in honest truth it is much more of a character development chapter as opposed to an action one, and I figured it was best done together. It's a big chapter for Light, at any rate, that (un?)lucky girl that she is.  
**

**Thanks and love go to LawMan (thank you very much!), Mylaervain (yes, materia~) , Jack Hargreave (no, thank you; I'm terrible at plot points), H-thar (man, I really wish I could respond to some of those), GKMader (yeah, it is...but I think it's killing Light more than me), and That One Reviewee (urgh, fine-my guess is 5 or 6 more chapters?)! Man, I know lots of you guys have questions and such, but I think the chapter ahead does a lot of its own explanation, so I will leave it at that. But yes, Phoenix, wheee!  
**

**Enjoy as always!**

* * *

Chapter 23: The Intent of Good and Evil

The rain showed no sign of letting up anytime soon as Lightning stumbled her way through the woods, trying to keep her balance over roots that seemed all too determined to trip her. One hand still tight on the handle of her omega weapon, she tried not to let her discomfort and exhaustion show on her face... something she had been trained to do, even though there were no enemies in sight. Exhaustion dragged at her lower back, and every time she shifted her weight in the motion of taking another step forward, pain flared in her ankles and calves, pricking through to her upper thighs.

And on any other day, she might've welcomed the thorough fatigue, welcomed the almost-instant sleep she knew it would give once she sat down to rest. But what had been evident to her just outside the entrance to the stone temple still throbbed painfully in her head: that no matter how far she pushed herself, she couldn't escape the clutches of the emotional weariness that had been with her since day one. _It's not like I haven't noticed... _No matter how hard she tried, inevitably, somewhere down the line, her thoughts would drift back to Hope... and what exactly she'd done to warrant their current situation.

No matter how hard she tried, she was unable to disassociate the guilt and pain from herself.

And now, trudging alone through some unfamiliar forest—with no real sense of direction—she could hardly be worse off. With a deteriorating emotional stability—of which she was all too aware of—along with an ever-growing list of injuries, it really wasn't hard to hate herself for the stupid mistakes she'd made. _And that's the problem... I don't see them as _mistakes_ until they're too late to fix. _Pushing wet pink bangs off her forehead with her spare hand, Lightning cast a furtive glance behind her. The rain was slowly letting up, allowing for slightly better visibility, but she still couldn't see as far as she would've liked to.

The lack of enemies, whether in pursuit of her or otherwise, would've unnerved her on a good day, and it was one of those things that just didn't slip under the soldier sense that had been trained into her. But today, as exhausted and as drained as she was, the only thing Lightning felt like doing was counting her very few blessings that there were no bloodthirsty Meurites chasing after her and the glass orb stuffed safely in her pack.

_But still, I need to... _Even in her current condition, some aspect of her training managed to make it through the foggy haze lying shrouded over her senses—that she needed to figure out where she was and where she was going to go. She'd stumbled out of the temple, and with only the concept of _'away'_ present in her mind, she hadn't watched where she was going—instantly making for the tree line to conceal herself in the thick foliage before some form of pursuit came bursting out of the stone entranceway after her.

Glancing around, noting with a dull interest that the rain had softened to a light drizzle, the trees seemed to be thinning to her right. _Well, it can't hurt... right? _Tiredly setting herself in that direction, the chance for a place to rest, even for a few minutes, seemed dim. The forest floor was squelching unappealingly under her boots, and the tree trunks were slick with rain. _Even _I _know __when they're too dangerous to climb. _

A small incline under her feet caught her attention.

Looking up wearily, Lightning noted that the ground in front of her was rising in a gentle slope upwards to a hill that she couldn't see over. Retightening her grip on her gunblade, she set her sights on the top of the hill. _Okay, Farron, you can do this. _Climbing slowly, she tried to take deeper breaths to calm her erratic breathing—not something that had worked particularly well for her in the past, but it was better than thinking about the incessant pain prickling her lower body and the things she _should've_ done.

_Hope... _His name slipped from her lips before she could control it; hating herself for it, Lightning bit down on her bottom lip before the rest of the sounds her mind wanted to elicit from her lungs could escape. Screaming was one of them... not that it was something that she knew would be smart to do at the moment. What was funny was that she was trying to stop those words because she was afraid it would make her look weak—_And who am I supposed to be kidding? _She had long exposed her vulnerability to more people than she could count—and certainly more than she would've wanted, but there was no going back now.

_That's right... I can't change the past. So that's why... that's why I have to keep—_ She cut herself off angrily there, just as she came to the crest of the small hill. _Keeping myself going hasn't... It hasn't changed anything! I'm still making the same mistakes, over and over, and I... _Closing her eyes, Lightning willed for her suddenly pounding heart to calm down—but the familiar painful burn at the back of her throat was back, and there wasn't anything she could do right now to get rid of it.

Forcing herself to open her eyes, she scanned the landscape around her; the new height provided by the hill more than enough to see through the darkening light coming from the grey skies that was signalling nightfall. The tree line faded just a few hundred metres in front of her; giving way to rocky hills, and in the distance, Lightning could make out the dark silhouette of a mountain. The slopes on the other side of the hill was lined with rock and scrubbly grass, not the thick foliage that she'd almost accustomed herself to seeing. There were a few dark caves in the general vicinity that she supposed would have to do for the night... not that she could afford to be picky in her current situation.

Crawling through the rocky entrance to the first cave she came upon in her descent from the small, grassy slope, Lightning picked her way around the jagged rock to a corner at the very back of the small cavern. Refusing to give into her fatigue just yet, she made sure that she still had the glass sphere still safely stowed away in her pack and that her weapon was loaded just in case she had to bolt—or fight, if it came down to it—sometime during the night.

Her exhaustion caught up to her the moment she settled with her back against the cold stone of the cave. And tonight, sleep claimed her long before the usual mental demons could come and claw at her already delicate emotional balance.

* * *

_She was standing on a breezy hill that was made of long autumn grasses, with the soft wind tugging at the pink locks twisted over her left shoulder. For some reason, Lightning felt lighter than she had for a long time—not light in a manner she would've wished: the lifting of those heavy emotional burdens, but light in a different way. Light in a way that made her feel as though she could've reached up to touch the wispy clouds marbled across the sky._

_Trying to get a grip on her bearings, she wanted to clench her hands into the hem of her skirt...only to find that the fabric underneath her bare fingers wasn't the thick, woolen texture of the mini-skirt she wore to fight. Glancing down quickly, Lightning realized that she_ wasn't _wearing her uniform. She was wearing the only dress that Serah had ever forced her into after their parents' deaths—the dress that she'd worn to her sister's high school graduation ceremony._

_It was a simple thing, really—a soft orange-and-beige frock patterned with autumn leaves, gathered at the waist with a deep copper coloured length of leather embellished with an orange silk leaf. What her sister had loved about it—and consequently what made her hate it—was that it made her look younger than she had. She hadn't worn something so _girlish _in years__, and it had taken some serious persuading on Serah's behalf for her to finally put it on._

_So why the hell was she wearing it now? There certainly weren't any happy memories associated with the dress, and it was the last thing Lightning wanted to be seen with in public ever again.  
_

_The sound of a chuckle__—_a very familiar chuckle_—_banished all obscenities she wanted to scream at the choice of dress that had been imposed on her. Taking a few steps forward into the waving grass that was tickling her ankles, Lightning could make out two figures in the distance. She couldn't get any closer than the bottom of the hill she was currently standing on, but she didn't need to: the scene playing out in front of her was a memory she would never forget.

_It was one of_ her_ memories, to be sure, because Lightning had found herself clinging to that memory more than she would've liked to admit in recent days. It wasn't always forefront in her mind, but she found herself thinking back to it more often than usual... and wanting more than anything to go back._

_It had been that rare hot summer day, one of the days in which she'd been forced to tie her wavy pink hair into a messy ponytail in order to keep it off of her burning, sweaty neck as she was pulling weeds. Not realizing that Hope had never seen her perform that simple action of pulling a rough elastic around unruly cherry-coloured curls, she'd been unprepared for the moment when he'd more or less snuck up behind her. _

_Somewhat irritated____—_though she wasn't sure if it was at herself or him___—_that she'd allowed_ him to sneak up on her, Lightning had whipped around, not sure if she wanted to snap or not. "You know," he mused quietly, carefully not looking directly at the icy glare she was trying to maintain,"I've never seen you do that."_

_"Yeah?" she'd muttered, trying to keep a neutral tone to her voice. "There're lots of things about me you haven't seen." And it was true____—_as much as he'd tried to deny or otherwise comfort her, she knew all too well that he hadn't expected her nightmares to affect her___—_still___—_so much.  


_He didn't reply directly to her comment, instead choosing to stuff his hands in his pockets. "But, um, Light? It looks nice. It makes you look... more like someone who hasn't gone through all the messed-up crap we've gone through."  
_

_She hadn't known what to make of that... hadn't known how to even_ begin_ to process that. Clearly, Hope had taken it the wrong way, because a scared, tentative look had entered his demure viridian gaze, and Lightning knew he'd been about to open his mouth to apologize.  
_

_"Save it," she murmured quietly. Whatever the offhand comment was, whatever it meant, she knew she didn't want to hear an apology. It hurt in many ways____—_that much was obvious___—but what was also obvious was that it didn't hurt as much as she would've expected it to. Was it because she knew what he was trying to say? She didn't know, and Lightning didn't think she knew herself well enough to figure it out. "I get it," she continued quietly, swallowing. She'd looked down as she mumbled those words._  


_____He caught her before she could completely look away, hooking a hand around her elbow and gripping the fingers of the other with his own. She hadn't noticed______—really noticed______—how much taller than her Hope was until that moment, and the force that his hands were putting on hers was firm and confident, unlike the demure shyness she'd somehow come to expect from him._

_____"Light, I______—"_

_____"I told you to save it." She cut him off. Perhaps a little too harshly, because Hope took an unconscious step back from her before she pulled her left hand free of his grip and furled it in his shirt collar, preventing him from moving away from her. "I get it," she repeated quietly, trying to put the emotions she somehow knew she wouldn't be able to convey in those three simple words.  
_

_____His forehead had come to rest against hers...and for some reason, that simple gesture didn't offend her in any way, nor did it trigger the flinch reflex that she would've associated with such a contact. But it didn't, because Lightning had felt no urge to move away as quickly as possible, nor did she feel the desire, indeed, to push him away from her... because she_ did_ know what he was trying to say, and because she _did_ know what he'd tried to tell her. _

_____"So, you see? You_ did _understand each other." It was a new voice that didn't belong in the memory______—_one that she hadn't heard in a long time, but familiar and painful just the same. Whipping around, at first, she couldn't make out the speaker of those words. She knew who it was...would never not know_ who it was, but she didn't want to trust it until she could see who it was with her own eyes._

_A gentle hand came to rest just beneath her shoulder blades, gently fingering the hem of the patterned dress. "Claire."  
_

_Lightning froze. Not only did the repetition of that simple name instantly seize her chest in painful fingers, it also solidified, in her mind, of who the speaker of those words had been. "You_ did _understand each other," her sister repeated softly. _

_The familiar burn in her throat was back, because she couldn't speak past it and there were so many things that she wanted to say that Lightning knew she never could. "Serah, I..."  
_

_Her sister pressed a slim finger to her lips. "I'm sure of it." The calm serenity in which she spoke those words was lulling, soothing, and it made her want to believe them...even though she knew they couldn't possibly be. Trying to force some of those syllables expressing that sentiment, though, was beyond her current capabilities: the only thing Lightning could do right now was stare at Serah's hazy silhouette________—_the fear was irrational, but she was somehow afraid that the moment she took her eyes off her sister, Serah would disappear.  


_And yet, her sister wasn't truly alive, living, breathing; much, much more than just a memory, and yet somehow less substantial than a living body. Swallowing again, she tried to force the croaky, hoarse words past her throat. "Where are we?"  
_

_Serah pursued her lips gently. "I'm not sure. Your memories, maybe? It doesn't matter." Her sister's sky blue gaze was suddenly harsh and determined; her voice dropped to an intense whisper as Serah gripped her shoulders tightly with her slender hands. "Claire, we have to understand each other. To finish what's already been started, we have to understand each other."  
_

_"What?"  
_

_"We have to understand each other." Her sister seemed desperate that those words got across to her. "When you first met Hope... you thought he was just another terrified, helpless kid...right? But you got to know him, you_ understood _him... that's why you fell in love with him. So, you see? We have to understand each other, okay?" _

_The scenery around her was fading________: _Serah was blending in with the greenish-orange grasses, and as much as Lightning wanted to stretch out a hand towards her sister, she couldn't move; held to the spot by the wind, there was another sound that was rapidly consuming the tranquil serenity of the autumn hill. 

* * *

Lightning woke with a start.

For a moment, she was confused—the lingering vestiges of the dream clung to her like old cobwebs and she found herself clinging to the details, desperate for any sort of release from the guilty emptiness that rushed in to take the place of that brief escape like an icy tidal wave. _Get a grip,_ she told herself angrily, before a new sound made her jerk her head up towards the now-dark entrance to the small cavern.

It was the same sound that had pervaded the last few heartbeats of the dream; louder and somehow infinitely more ominous than they had sounded through the sedate shroud of unconsciousness. Struggling to rise, and almost instantly letting out a hiss of pain as aches pulled through her lower body, Lightning cursed herself mentally. _Way to let everyone know you're here. _

But whether it was her foolish weakness that gave away her position, or whether he already knew where he was, she wouldn't find out_______—_Arturo stepped through the low cascade of rocks with an air of someone who was out on an afternoon stroll.

Some aspect of the significance of his appearance made it through her muddled brain, but exhaustion and emotional weariness alike dragged at her, preventing her from concentrating and from thinking of a move to make next. "So you stole what I hid there," he intoned quietly, the note of amusement still present in the smooth tone that didn't look like it could come from the reptilian silhouette. "Impressive."

Her soldier sense warned her not to play dumb. _If he's followed me this far, he has to know. There's no point in pretending. _"I_______—_So what if I have?" Her voice sounded stronger than she felt inside: Lightning was all too aware that she was currently in no condition to fight and the threat that this particular Meurite posed was more than she was capable of dealing with at the moment.

"Impressive," he repeated quietly. "But since I can't use it, and you can, why don't you come with me? After all, you must know that there are more out there... and wouldn't it be convenient if this... _Hope_ of yours came along too? You won't need to hide with those cowardly traitors that live in the gorge_______—_they'll be eliminated shortly anyways...not that they know that."

Instantly recoiling from the offer, her grip tightened on the handle of the omega weapon until it hurt. "No!"

Brushing aside her rejection of his words with a carefree manner, he extended a hand in her direction. "But I can give you what you want most."

For the second time in so many seconds, Lightning felt her muscles tense at the words; trying to shut them out was like trying to saw off her own legs. _Stop... stop!_ She wanted to move her hands over her ears to drown out the words, but she couldn't move. Whether it was because something was physically _stopping_ her, or whether it was because there was some part of her that _wanted_ to continue listening, she didn't know. But whether she knew herself well enough or not, Lightning knew that she knew herself well enough to know that there _was_ some part of her that _wanted_ to pay attention, that couldn't disassociate herself from the brewing darkness inside her own chest. _I want... _

Highlighted as it was by the dream that had only just faded from her immediate consciousness, she couldn't control the teeming thoughts nor could she control the name that slipped from her lips. "Serah..." The rational part of her, the part of her that was most in tune with her soldier sense screamed at her to stop_______—_that she was giving away her own weaknesses to an enemy that could and would destroy not just her, but the people she knew he knew she cared about. _Hope... _

But there was the other part of her, the pathetically needy part of her, that wanted to give in.

Trying to move away, the chaotic conglomeration of pain, indecision, and guilt was rising in her chest; Lightning felt her back bump against the cold stone wall of the cavern, but there was no escape there. She couldn't run from her own mind, and she sure as hell couldn't run from the domineering presence so obviously enjoying her torment in front of his eyes.

Undaunted by the shaking gunblade in her right hand, Arturo took a step forwards, clearly waiting for her to _take_ his hand. Part of her wanted to reach out to grasp it_______—_sure that that would mean she would see the real Serah, the one that was at the back of every regret since_______—_but the other half of her, the half that was still miraculously _thinking_ through the agonizing miasma cloaked over her higher mental functions dragged her back.

Arturo made a move to grasp her trembling left hand, the one that was half raised in her attempt to do both actions.

She flinched back at the coldness_______—_the infinite coldness_______—_that pervaded her skin the moment he touched her. Like the moment back in the temple when her limbs and muscles had been frozen into a permanent state of stillness, this ice spread up her arms, erasing the fatigue and aches on contact. _I can't move...!_

But _unlike _that moment, Lightning felt the little support she had from her limbs drain from her slender frame; sinking to her knees, she fought that sensation_______—_it was like she was being smoldered under a blanket with no means to fight back. Whatever else her mind_______—_and her pathetically selfish desires_______—_needed at that moment, the utter instinct to _survive_ overwhelmed her consciousness; with adrenaline pounding through her bloodstream, she made the effort to wrench her hand away, knowing that that was the source of the unwelcome sensation.

But she didn't need to, because the moment her hand twitched in that cold, reptilian one, Arturo jerked his own away as if he'd been burnt. But it wasn't because anything she had done had hurt him_______—_lifting her head, Lightning saw that the shaft of an arrow was buried in his left shoulder. From who, she couldn't even begin to think about at the moment, but the Meurite in front of her turned on the spot to lift those tattered reptilian wings, spreading them once before vanishing.

Feeling utterly and completely drained, Lightning found herself lying on her side as soon as the Meurite had let go of her; head cradled in the crook of her right elbow, when loud footsteps_______—_too loud_______—_pounded towards her. Who they belonged to, she also couldn't guess, but at this moment, it no longer mattered to her whether it was an enemy or not. The weak, numb feeling was ebbing from her limbs, but she made no move to get up nor try to defend herself. _Why does everything I __do have to end up this way? _

She knew the answer to that one: _It's because I can't see any of them as mistakes until it's too late. _Curling the fingers of her right hand unnecessarily tightly around the handle of her gunblade, she tried to push back the rising icy tidal wave in her chest. _He knows. He knows about Hope, knows about... _

"What are you _doing_?" An aggravated hiss came from somewhere in the vicinity above her head. "Don't you_______—_Aren't you supposed to be fighting?"

Raising her head a few inches above the icy cold ground, Lightning could make out the distinctive silhouette of someone that plucked at her foggy memories. She'd heard this voice before... that was for sure, but it wasn't the one that she had so foolishly desired to hear again nor was it the voice that she had been unconsciously wanting_________—_needing_______—_since she'd stumbled half-incoherent from the temple. _Scratch that... since day one. _

Dragging her elbows back from the ground in an effort to push herself into a sitting position, she glanced up again through messy pink bangs to find a troupe of Meurites gathered at the entrance to her cavern. They weren't holding weapons at her, though, nor were they brandishing claws and teeth, and that stance was enough to establish the fact in her muddled brain that they weren't interested in hurting her, whoever they were. "What are you doing?" came the repeated question from the one that was in the lead.

The Meurite was holding a bow in one hand, and suddenly, Lightning knew who it was.

But she was too tired and too drained to feel angry that she'd allowed herself to be followed, indignant that these particular Meurites _had_ tracked her all the way from the gorge, and irritated at the harsh words. A hand was offered to her; out of habit and not out of necessity, she allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. Staring eye to eye at the strange golden gaze of the wolf-like Meurite, she found that this time, she couldn't win against the indignant anger in them. "Don't you know how _reckless_ you're being?" he growled at her, gesturing angrily out behind him.

"No one asked you to save me." The barb rolled off her tongue without thinking_______—_out of habit, once again: Lightning knew all too well that if it came down to it, she wouldn't be winning any arguments in her current condition.

"You looked like you needed it," came the retort. "Look, why did you go running off to begin with? You had no idea where you were going, and here you are, getting yourself killed in the process. _What_ did you think you could gain by running off randomly?"

There _was_ the tiny glass orb containing the fiery bird in her pack, but Lightning knew better than to go shouting that about. _I can't... _The Meurite swept on. "And pulling that stunt in the Anabrahka temple? You _knew_ there were enemies in there, and I don't see you coming out with something to gain for it."

But for some reason, the cold anger couldn't reach her higher mental functions; couldn't even begin to scratch the _surface_ of the broiling internal panic in her chest. _I just... Hope... _The icy cold fingers seized her lungs in one fell swoop as she pulled her arms around her middle, feeling the onrising, empty desperation beginning to take over. _I wanted to protect you! _

She hadn't realized she'd said those particular words aloud until her mind registered the Meurite's next, sarcastic question. "How d'you intend on protecting other people if you insist on getting yourself killed?"

"Because it's _my_ fault!"

The words had burst from her in a pained screech before Lightning could hold them back_______—_the last thing she wanted to do was to let it all out, but those questions were clawing painfully at the emotional balance she was struggling to keep under control and if yelling was going to deflect further questions, then she'd take it.

The Meurite was silent for a long time following the short sentence. She had a feeling he was burning with the desire to ask her what exactly was going on, but he was clearly thinking better of it. _Because... if they've sent them to take me back, then... _Even through her current state, she couldn't puzzle through as to _why_ they wanted her back_______—_was she just that important or was there some deeper motive? But if there was, she wasn't in any condition to figure it out just yet.

Still clutching her middle with both hands, Lightning tried to control her breathing_______—_her breaths were coming in painful gasps, which she knew weren't doing anything for the front she was trying to keep up. The Meurite finally spoke after several minutes of silence. "So if it's your fault...you're just going to let yourself get killed in hopes that that'll make up for it?"

_Yes. _For the first time in a very long time, she felt like giving up. _What's the point? __I've _tried_ to make things right, only to make it worse for the people involved. Hope_..._ heck, even _Snow. Not only had Arturo figured out something to do with Hope, he'd made it clear that he was _interested _in him as well. _And whose fault is that? __If I hadn't________—_

"Are you _stupid _or something?" The angry outburst made her jerk her head up in surprise, as Lightning watched the Meurite take a step closer to her. "It's your fault, so you're just going to give up and die because you think you can't fix it? You heard him," he continued, jabbing a finger in the general direction in which Arturo had vanished, "he's after this _Hope_, whoever that is. You _know_ what he's after, why not make sure it doesn't happen instead of drowning in despair it's your fault, or whatever? Instead of lamenting 'It's my fault so I'm just going to give up', why not try to fight him so that it doesn't happen?" The Meurite lowered his voice a little. "Look, I can tell, whoever this 'Hope' is, they're important to you, right? Do you really think that by getting yourself killed...is going to do them a favour?"

Shocked into silence, Lightning stared at the Meurite in front of her for a long time. She found that she had no witty or sarcastic comeback to those words...because they were the truth. And maybe, she had needed someone who didn't know her to slap her in the face_______—_quite literally—with it for her to see what she had to do next. She'd tried, for so long, to convince herself that what she was doing was the right thing, that running off and doing things by herself with the intent to atone for the things she'd done wrong was the right thing to do. _And maybe... I _did_ want to end up getting killed because I couldn't fix the things that I did wrong. _

_But he's right... whatever else might end up happening to me, I promised I wouldn't hurt him any more than I already have. _Clenching her hands into fists, somehow, the harsh words_______—_so different from the ones that she was used to in her times of need_______—_sliced like a sharpened blade through her murky thoughts. Forcing herself to take a deep breath to relax, she found, surprisingly, that _realizing_ how stupid she'd been acting helped more than the endless says of self-beration for everything she'd done wrong. _Telli__ng myself I was stupid didn't work... but doing something _because_ of it might. _

She looked up to find the Meurite still looking at her intently. Something had shifted in the last few minutes of silence between them_______—_it was subtle, but it was there. Whether it was good or bad... she didn't know, but in that moment of realization, Serah's words came echoing across her thoughts. _"We need to understand each other." _

Lightning still didn't know what her sister's words were supposed to mean: after all, the only thing _she_ thought she understood, really understood, was how to fight. _B__ut Serah was right... about lots of things, _she had to admit. _I have to trust her. _"Thanks," she muttered quietly. _I needed that. _

The Meurite shrugged nonchalantly. "You needed it. Just like you needed saving," he said dryly.

Retightening her grip on her omega weapon, and straightening up, she saw him glance towards the entrance to the cavern. "Why did you bother saving me in the first place? It wasn't like I was the most grateful guest or anything."

He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot before moving in the direction of the entrance_______—_she could see that the other Meurites that had come with him were waiting outside. "You're right," he acquiesced. "But it's like we said before, we still need your help. You've seen what Arturo's trying to do. He thinks it's his right to rule over everyone who lives on Gran Pulse... and he'll wipe everyone who says no out," he added bitterly.

_I still think you have the wrong person. _That fact was one she couldn't deny_______—_but what she also couldn't deny were Serah's words and Hope's sentiments, that they indeed, needed to _understand each other. __And... frankly, I could do with some help right now. _"Fine," she said quietly.

A small genuine smile quirked the corner of the Meurite's lips, and in that instant, Lightning thought she knew what Hope had been talking about._He's right... just like every other thing he's been right about and I wasn't. _Just one more thing she had to add to her list of apologies, but she had a better grip on that aspect of things now.

_I can't just keep lamenting and drowning in my own despair... I have to _do _something about it. And all of this, all of this, I've only been really running away. I was scared of what might happen between us, I was scared of what could've been, but I can't be._ The next thoughts hurt, but she would have to learn to live with it_______—_especially now, when she couldn't afford to go and break down whenever things hurt too much for her to handle. _And even if he's still angry at me, even if he _hates_ me... I have to make things right. _

Stumbling out from the cavern after the Meurite, Lightning was glad for the cold pre-dawn air that greeted her lungs even though her lower body was protesting her movements. The icy fingers that the air reached into her chest helped clear some of the cotton balls away from her head and it instilled some new sense of grim determination inside.

"So...where are we going?" She hated asking that question, hating tailing behind like some useless lackey, but she had to admit that with more than 'just a few' enemies out after her... she couldn't find Hope and Snow by herself. Her left hand inched unconsciously down to the pack strapped to her left thigh_______—_Lightning could feel the outline of the small glass sphere in one of the outer pockets. _I have _this, _but it's not exactly reliable... right? _

The Meurite gave her an even look. "Apart from, well, hunting you down, we were supposed to go looking for this part of a machine." Scratching his paw, he adopted a musing look on his face for a few heartbeats. "The elders weren't really clear on what it was, but it's supposed to be somewhere around here."

She didn't like the sound of that_______—__why would you not be clear on something you wanted found? _but she wasn't going to voice that thought aloud: things were tense and awkward enough as it was, and although it was true she _had_ a better grip on reality now, Lightning still wasn't sure how much would be brought crumbling down in the face of her next crisis. _But still... I feel better about certain things now... and that's more than what could be said for what I felt like an hour ago. _

"Taksin, we should get going," one of the other Meurites warned quietly. "We've found the woman, and I'll bet Arturo could be back soon."

"Right," he agreed amicably, setting off back up the rocky hillside with another glance up towards the slowly brightening sky. Offering her a hand, he helped her up the incline before turning his gaze back to the low mountain range to their immediate north.

Following his gaze, Lightning noted with dull interest that the mist that had clung to the bottom of the mountain range remained, even though the inky night sky above them promised a clear day. Setting off behind the Meurites, careful to still keep what she felt to be an appropriate distance, she fingered the outline of the glass sphere through the leather of her pack.

_I _will_ protect you, Hope._

* * *

Carmine examined the metal of the container with a critical eye, as Hope shifted uncomfortably under the scrutinizing gaze, even though it wasn't directed at him. For some reason, he didn't like the idea of Carmine handling it_______—_perhaps influenced by Lightning's behaviour towards the man_______—_but he had to admit that letting the scientist examine it was probably one of the faster ways on figuring out exactly what it was.

"Interesting," the man mused, one hand on his chin. "The metal is quite astonishing_______—_it's soft enough to be inscribed on with such a small writing utensil, but it's hard enough to prevent our attempts at opening it. The design must be ingenious," he sighed. "Unfortunately, artifacts aren't my specialty, but we do have a couple of instruments on site to help determine what this is."

Getting up after the scientist, Hope followed the man towards a back building, rubbing his eyes at the shade that the building presented as soon as he was over the threshold. Sticking close to the cement-and-metal wall, he watched as Carmine flicked a couple of switches in the room, illuminating a certain instrument by the back corner.

Making his way closer_______—_but also keeping his distance_______—_he watched the man daintily drop the metal sphere onto a platform. "This is rudimentary, of course, but essentially it analyzes the components of the alloy, and gives a rough dating on when it was made, because, of course, marks and changes are left on metal when it's forged."

Typing rapidly on a virtual screen display, the man muttered things he couldn't quite catch to himself, as Hope watched the smooth metal surface become bathed in a swash of lasers. "Interesting," the scientist mused again. "The computer has this metal as being several millenia old, though it can't tell when it was forged exactly. But it's got a very unique mineral component. Let me cross-reference that with the areas where it could've come from..."

For several moments, all Hope could hear was the clicking of the keys as the scientist tapped away. "I got it," he crowed finally. "Let me bring it up." For a moment, the lights to the instrument were dimmed until Carmine brought up a map of Gran Pulse as they knew_______—_there were places that he knew weren't on there, but Hope wasn't going to volunteer that information. Tapping the red area highlighted by the computer, Carmine smirked. "_This_ is the only area we know of that houses this specific alloy. If you say the Meurites were interested in it, it seems like it's worth a look, no?"

* * *

Sitting on the seat of a new hoverplane, Hope cast a furtive glance outside the window past Snow's bulk. The big blond had been all to excited to visit the place of origin of the little sphere, and a little _too _excited at the prospect of possibly figuring out more of how to fight the war that was currently being waged by the military.

The commander at the Vallis Media base camp had informed them that they _needed_ the effort they were putting forward now to try and figure out the Meurite's strategies and intentions. _"It's a deadlock on the front right now,_" the man had intoned quietly. _"No one's got the advantage and the num__bers keep rising. That's why Pulse Management is so eager for us to figure some stuff out." _The last he'd heard of the fighting going on was that it was close to Eden_______—_how the army had gotten the civilians out, Hope didn't know, but he supposed the army would have had _some_ sort of plan.

Staring out at the impossibly crisp blue autumn sky, Hope looked down into the mountain range they were currently passing. The pilot had assured them that it would be late afternoon before they arrived, and to sit tight before then.

Hope fingered the words on the metal sphere that he'd wrestled back from Carmine the day previously, refusing to let the scientist keep it for 'further research'. Just as he hadn't felt right letting the scientist handle the thing, he didn't feel right having the man keep it for an extended period of time. The man had reluctantly handed it over, but Hope thought he caught a glimpse of something else underneath that. It had been there for perhaps a fraction of a heartbeat, but he hadn't missed it, and he was sure of what he'd seen.

_Just what..._

* * *

**Well.**

**I could've sworn this chapter felt ten times as long as it actually was_______—_so much happened and not all of it for the best, either. Hm. I do think the first three-quarters of the chapter was pretty straightforward though (even though it was hard as hell to get out) and I like ending things with Hope. Here's to hoping I didn't bungle Light's little intense emotional debate, though.  
**

**So anyways, next chapter shouldn't take me _that _long_______—_we're finally solidly moving on into the second half of the fic now, and it's time to see some serious action. *gameface* Leave love as always and I will see you on Thursday (hopefully?)!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	24. Eternal Beings

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_! (Long A/N ahead, you've been warned)**

**Two days isn't long, right? And I totally give myself a lollipop for finishing this 7,000+word chapter in two days. Well. I did have some other inspiration_______—_you may, or may not, know that I'm planning a post FFXIII-2 fic, just because the ending was garbage and I wanted Hoperai to be in it somewhere. Well, I totally just got my inspiration for the entire storyline I want to write, and I'm seriously excited. *grins stupidly*  
**

**The second thing was that I got gifted the coolest thing today by my significant other: it's a four-inch****_______—_and perfect****_______—_**steel model keychain of the Blazefire Sabre and I can't stop staring at it. *oogles* I've been poking my hand with it all afternoon; it's addicting.  


**Anyways. *coughs* Thank you and love go to: Jack Hargreave (well.. you'll see. n_n Light hasn't actually gone back though****_______—_she's moved forwards for once, aha!), GKMader (I _knew_ you'd like Serah's moment there *grins* And I honestly don't know, it all depends on how much I decide to put into a chapter, but we're about halfway there in terms of storyboard), LawMan (awhh... thanks so much!), Tager96 (probably not... but it'll be pretty close in terms of word count, I'm thinking), That One Reviewee (oh, you'll have to see about Carmine), and H-thar (see, there's another one: I _knew_ you'd like that sense-knocking bit... it was necessary though, and Light needed, well, a reality check, to be honest. :D) Thank you all so very much, you honestly make my day everyone!**  


******And to my awesome LadyAlaska********_______—_**hun, there's a particular segment just for you, darlin'. See, I _won't_ let Fang steal all the fun******_______—_**Hope gets to play with Light tooooooo~  


******Enjoy as always!**

* * *

Chapter 24: Eternal Beings

Hope picked his way along the shaded rock; running a hand through ruffled platinum bangs, he gave the immediate area around him a careful glance. They'd landed in a meadow, dotted with autumn daisies that was surrounded by a ring of mountains. He couldn't see over the top of these particular mountains, but as they'd flown over them in the hovercraft, he could make out a moor to the south, shrouded with mist. For some reason, the sight of the wild, untamed purplish heather gave him a twisting sense of apprehension, but it wasn't all bad_______—_just like it had felt _right_ to be poking around in the shrine half covered in snowdrifts, the sight of it instilled some sense of relief inside.

And in retrospect, it wasn't _supposed_ to feel right_______—_he was no closer to finding Lightning than he had been two weeks ago, and though he had the metallic container stuffed away with his last few manadrives and weapon, it wasn't any consolation for the fact that she hadn't been there. _So why am I feeling... relieved? _He didn't know, and part of him was scared _because_ he didn't know: _I'm not... there's no way I'd ever stop missing her, right? _

The sight of the meadow had also reawakened memories that he'd done his best to suppress: after all, thinking back to happier days was only going to make his current present worse. But he hadn't been able to help it_______—_and Hope was intensely relieved that Snow hadn't been looking his way when those particular thoughts crossed his mind...

* * *

_It was so goddamn hot. _

_Really, he'd never noticed the summer sunshine quite like this before: perhaps the air conditioning at Snow's apartment________—_and at the high school in Eden_______—_had been cranked up to indecent levels, but Hope didn't want to admit the fact that he didn't know_ how to use the air conditioning at her house._

_Not for the lack of trying, though. He'd been tinkering with the thing since mid-afternoon, trying to make sense of the buttons, and he had a feeling that Lightning wouldn't be impressed if he called her with the simple plea of asking her how to use it. No, she_ definitely _wouldn't be impressed, and he_ _definitely wasn_'_t in the mood to be yelled at.__  
_

_Giving up after finally having been forced to accept defeat at the hands of the little plastic box set into the wall in the hallway leading upstairs, he'd wandered out to the back porch__________—_there were a couple of trees in the backyard that would hopefully provide some shade: the inside of the house was getting stuffy, and he didn't want to open all the windows either.  


_Watching the golden beams slowly darken to a deep orange, it was getting on twilight when he heard the front door slam. "Hope, what________—_" Lightning's words were stopped mid-sentence as he tried not to look sheepish. "Don't you know how to use the air conditioning?" she asked dryly, arching an eyebrow at him.  


_"Um... no?" He tried not to falter under her condescending glare, before her expression relaxed slightly; following her into the hallway, he watched her flick a single small switch before prodding it once, starting to feel increasingly dumb as she turned around. _

_"Whatever," she muttered. "But it's too hot to be standing around inside." Flicking her cape over her shoulder, Lightning led the way out to the cooler backyard, taking in the scene before her. The back lawn that she'd weeded about a week ago was spotted with daisies again, and Hope noted with dry humour that Lightning was looking at them with a certain amount of ire in her ice blue gaze: she was probably wondering how to best get rid of them as soon as possible.  
_

_Tentatively placing a hand on her right shoulder, he took a step closer to her. "You don't have to pull them all out tonight, you know," he remarked lightly. But even as he said those words, Hope knew he was treading in dangerous waters__________—h_e knew all too well why_ she took the time to make sure every aspect of her property was pristine________... _because it was better than the alternative... something that he also knew all too well.  


_"I know," came the quiet reply, and suddenly, he was scared. There was a pained tone to her voice, and Hope knew that_ that _was a tone she often tried to keep _out_ of her voice around h__im. Slowly using the hand on her shoulder to make her turn around, he was________—_and wasn't_______—_surprised to find that same pain shadowing her teal gaze.

_"What's wrong?" His voice sounded so small and insignificant next to hers as the two words left in a croak. For the first time in awhile, he couldn't read her mood________—_couldn't read what had brought on the sudden onslaught of pain... and that scared him.  


_Lightning shook her head once. "I'm sorry. I... It's just... so many memories, you know? When she was little, Serah wouldn't let me pull out the weeds, because she thought they were 'pretty'. And no matter how many times I tell myself________—_"  


_"Lightning." He cut her off with his hand on her other elbow. Hope had no idea what he was supposed to say, and no idea how to even begin assuaging that particular pain of hers, but what he did know was that he couldn't allow her to continue down this particular vein before things got out of control... hers and his.  
_

_But what happened next surprised even him________—_she leaned forward until her forehead was resting against his throat; furling her hand in the collar of his shirt, her next words were a whisper. "I know I act like I hate them. And I do," she clarified quietly. "But every time I pull one out... I can't help but remember."  


_Gently brushing away a stray strand of pastel pink hair, he hoped fervently that the words he was about to say next were the right ones. "But it's not your fault. If you keep thinking like that for the rest of your life... it won't be right. She wouldn't want you to think like that." Feverishly, Hope wanted those to be the right words, for those to calm her, because in their delicate contact, he could feel her rapid heartbeat that he didn't want to get worse.  
_

_They remained like that for a long time, the silence working to both aggravate and calm him. The first stars had broken out in the purplish twilight when Lightning finally uncurled her fingers from around his collar to gaze intently at him. "Thank you," she murmured quietly._

_Not wanting this particular moment to end just yet, Hope took a small breath before tentatively closing the distance in between them, feeling fingers of inexpressible warmth reach through his frame when she didn't pull away.  
_

* * *

Shaking his head to dislodge those memories, Hope concentrated on what he had to do next. They'd spread out; between him and Snow and the soldiers dispatched to accompany them, they would cover a wider radius if they looked individually. He could make out the ragged trench coat of Snow's even from here: the big blond was on one of the many mountain paths that spiralled away from the central meadow below him. He seemed to be shouting at something... but what it was, Hope didn't really want to know. _It's Snow. What can I do? _

Carmine's_______—_or rather, Pulse Management's_______—_directives had been simple: try to find the alloy that had made the metal sphere tucked safely away with Nue. They had a general direction to look in but no specific data: the research teams had done only a cursory sweep of the area as they tried to map as much of Gran Pulse as they could.

The rocky incline here wasn't hard to climb, but Hope highly doubted they'd find metal just lying around out in the open. _Wouldn't it have to be mined? And mines mean caves, right? _He hadn't seen any in the general vicinity so far, but they'd been looking for only about a hour or so; with much of the mountainsides left to cover, there had to be some caves around here somewhere, right?

Clenching his left hand into a fist, he glanced upwards at the blue sky that was torn with wispy clouds_______—_it didn't look like it would continue to be sunny for very long and with it being so close to winter, he wouldn't have been surprised if it would start to snow. Remembering how well he'd fared last time he'd struggled through the snowbanks, Hope picked up the pace. He had to admit he didn't like the idea of caves much_______—_too many things had happened in enclosed spaces for him to feel comfortable_______—_but out here, he felt exposed and insignificant.

About two hundred metres up, he spotted an entrance into his mountainside: the _only_ entranceside this particular trail offered_______—_the path disappeared into the darkness. Nervously tapping at the locator he'd been given back at the landing spot in the meadow, he was relieved to find it still working. _They'll know where I am, right? _It was a little inconvenient that they hadn't been given radios, but the reception was poor out here at any rate, and he could see the red dots that signalled both Snow's and other soldier's general location on the small screen.

Taking a breath, he took a tentative step into the mountainside; noting dully that there were columns carved out to hold up the rock. Whether they were intentional or formed by some force of nature, he didn't know: but Hope was glad for the spacious atmosphere that they provided_______—_this, at least, was better than the crushing darkness and the still air he was growing used to expect from places like this.

* * *

The seemingly-endless expanse of heather that waved dully in the autumn breeze wasn't the most comforting sight she'd ever seen. The purplish moor was spread before her like some unending sea of flowers...only ending at the foot of the mountains in the distance. Lightning resisted the temptation to kick out at a few_______—_now that she had _some_ aspect of her emotions under control, there was a certain sort of impatient desperation itching at her.

But that, that was infinitely easier to handle than the emotional turmoil that had been eating away like acid at her. _Having something to do________—_knowing_ what I have to do next_... _is something I can understand. _Staring at the backside of the Meurites about ten yards ahead of her, also struggling through the dewy heather, Lightning tried to suppress the sense of enmity that was instinctively triggered by her soldier sense.

_I have to stop seeing them as enemies. _She knew that she couldn't allow herself to _completely_ trust them, and she still wasn't sure if she was supposed to apply the term 'friends' to them either, but what she did know was that they would have to work together. _If I want to find Hope... and figure all this out, I__________—_we_________—_need to work together. Biting down on her lip, she flicked a glance at them again. _Allies? _

That would have to do for now.

The low rumble of thunder over the grey horizon catching her attention, Lightning spotted the storm clouds brewing once again to the east; ducking down under a low growing shrub that poked over the hilltop she was currently trying to get down from, she caught the flash of her namesake in the distance.

"We'd better stop here," warned one of the Meurites that was in the lead. "It's going to be dark soon, and that storm doesn't look friendly." Glancing around, giving the place a critical look, she didn't see how stopping _here_ was going to be better than continuing to keep going: the dusty, long-dried riverbed wouldn't offer much protection in the way of shelter... but she wasn't going to question it. _No, it's better if I keep my mouth shut and just play along. _

She hated tagging behind like some useless lackey, but the honest truth of her situation was that she would probably find out more if she cooperated than if she didn't. _And I'd rather know more... than less. _But the Meurite who'd spoken was right_________—_the storm in the distance did _not_ look like it was to be taken lightly in any way, shape, or form.

And sure enough, it wasn't five minutes later that hail began to pelt down from the grey skies; wincing when one of the icy shards sliced against her arm, Lightning suppressed the urge to curse out loud. But the dusty riverbed _wasn't_, just like she'd imagined, a great spot for shelter. "This is pointless," she muttered out loud; clambering back up the dust-filled riverside, she stared out across the moor. "There has to be something edible around here."

The Meurites below her exchanged uneasy glances; she could tell exactly what they were thinking, and she knew where the conversation was going to go. _Do they _really_ think I'm about to run off again? _

"I'll go with you." The terse answer came from none other than the Meurite she'd heard the others call Taksin, the one that had been 'in charge' of her since the beginning. Since there wasn't any good reason for her to say no, the only thing that left Lightning was to give him a nod of assent before stalking off along the riverbend, silently cursing the hail that was beginning to fall more heavily.

There was silence for all of five minutes before he broke it, as they continued picking their way along the dried-up river. "Sorry," he apologized. "They don't really trust you, you know."

"And you do?" she shot back. Inwardly, Lightning knew there wasn't any real reason either for her to keep up the barb on her tongue, but this particular Meurite had seen too much of her weakness and vulnerability the night before... something that irked her, even though she knew he'd been trying to help. _After all... if I didn't get some sense knocked into me... where would I be now? _The thought wasn't one she thought she could safely contemplate and it plucked at the delicate emotional balance that she was still struggling to maintain; she swallowed against it, determined to actually _try _to fight it this time around.

The Meurite didn't answer her question with a straight response; skirting around the riverbend, he bent down by a clump of gnarled plants that looked to her like some sort of tuber. "These are edible."

Narrowing her eyes at the brownish, purplish thing that looked like something Snow might've cooked for a meal, they didn't look very edible to her. The chances of her finding something out here to hunt, though, were slim. If their loud footsteps through the heather didn't scare off every last bit of prey in a two-kilometre radius, then the storm would've.

Lightning felt strain pull at her lower back when she bent down next to a similar bunch, but there was no way she was going to look weak... especially now. Digging her hands into the dirt, she found that the tuber-like plants weren't as easy to pull as they looked, and for awhile, no one said anything else as she tried to ignore the continuous drum of small ice pellets on her back.

"Can you tell me something?" The question was straightforward, direct, and held no hesitation, as Lightning cast a furtive look behind her to see that the Meurite was still pulling, directing the query at the bunch of plants in his hands. Not bothering to wait for a response, he ploughed on. "Who's... Hope?"

Instantly, Lightning felt every muscle in her body freeze, as the question reawakened something she didn't want it to deep inside. _He's... _The funny thing was, she'd been asked that particular question in so many ways over the years, she didn't know what the answer was anymore...and the more she thought about it, the more confused she was as to what they actually 'were'. Somehow, the term 'boyfriend' didn't exactly cut it for her___________—_she'd never viewed their relationship as just that... in some ways, it wasn't what the term implied, and in others, it was so much more. Biting down on her bottom lip, she stopped the motion of her hands, finding that her fingers were trembling again.

"It's not___________—_I'm not looking to pry into your personal business, or whatever," he clarified. "I just want to know why Arturo is after them. Because, he doesn't target humans for no reason."

_That _was a question she felt she could safely answer, one that she didn't think would jeopardize _too _much with the emotions she was trying so hard to keep under control. "He's got a high magic potential," she mumbled lamely, tugging at the root in her hands with a little too much force.

"Because he's related to you?" queried the Meurite with a raised eyebrow.

"He's not _re__lated_ to me," she snapped, "he's..."

They were back at square one. Returning to the plants at hand, Lightning decided it would be better if she didn't delve deeper into that particular topic, not that it was one she was comfortable discussing with an almost complete stranger in the first place. "Okay, okay," Taksin acquiesced, raising both hands in a motion of self defence that was strangely reminiscent of Snow. "None of my business."

Gathering up the roots in his arms, he stood up before turning back to the direction that they'd come from. "But you know, if Arturo is after him, we'd better find him fast."

* * *

Hope ducked under what felt to him like the fifteenth stalactite as he tried to avoid the dripping water that seemed to come from an endless supply from the ceiling. He had to be at least fifty metres deep into the stone, and he felt it was necessary to keep a hand on his weapon at all times... after all, who knew what sort of bloodthirsty wildlife dwelled in the deep cave? If the dripping wasn't ominous enough already, then the darkness was: the only source of light was at his back, and he was moving further and further away from it.

There were odd pockets in which the weak sunlight from above _did _peek through the rock, but as he progressed deeper and deeper into the mountain, they were becoming fewer and far between; relying solely on the locator___________—_which gave off a dim neon green light___________—_for a guide.

Snow was somewhere in the mountain too: the locator told him that much___________—_maybe there were other tunnels that threaded through the rock, along with a couple of soldiers. _If I'm honest with myself, maybe going by myself isn't the best idea... who knows what's down there? _The locator didn't exactly tell him how to _get _to where Snow was, but it gave him a general direction along with how many metres he was down: ten. _There has to be a way down... _

If the water had been dripping for who knew how many centuries, then there had to be weak spots on the floors, right? And weak spots could be blasted apart by magic, right? _Well, it's a gamble I'm willing to take. _Hope had just dug his hand into the sling in which he'd kept his last few spare manadrives when a even louder explosion than the one that he'd been contemplating rocked the mountain.

Instantly, the source of light at his back was cut off___________—_even though the initial soundwave had already passed him by, slow rumbling continued. Plunged into almost complete darkness, he strained his eyes for a source of light___________—_finding only a pinprick in the distance, Hope blindly groped around for a sort of wall to guide him, feeling his heartbeat beginning to race. _Who... _

A short scream in the far distance jolted him into a shock___________—_it wasn't one he recognized, but it was also one he didn't want to hear. _That means... that means someone's gotten themselves killed, right? But who... _Stumbling along the dark path, choking on rock dust, he made it his priority to keep going, to make it to the illusory sanctuary that the speck of light in the distance would provide.

The rumbling was growing louder, and with a pang of fear and anxiety, Hope wondered if someone had bombed the mountain. _They would've known we were inside, right...? _He hadn't checked how stable the mountainside was before wandering into its depths, but a couple of bombs or bazookas could easily dislodge rocks... that would dislodge more...

_Avalanche!_ The thought seared through his mind like a flaming arrow___________—_suddenly all that more desperate, Hope stumbled over a loose rock in the pathway; past caring when his foot splashed through a puddle. His mind racing, he could already begin to envision the trap that the mountain proposed. The images flashed through his mind on fast-forward: the rocks could easily block all the passageways that led into the mountain___________—_not to mention if they were too heavy, they could collapse entire tunnels under its weight, and they could all become trapped in one death hole until they suffocated... because there wasn't going to be any air after all the entranceways were blocked, right?

Breaking into a sprint now, Hope glanced quickly down at the locator strapped to his wrist: Snow's dot was still red, but he'd lost some of the signals of the other soldiers. His movements were being fueled by fear___________—_the more he thought about it, the more likely that he thought he was right. _But who... who would've told them we were here? _

A shriek in the distance chased all such thoughts from his mind: the sound sounded like one he'd heard before... and it wasn't a welcome sound at all. _Maker, please not now... _Ducking his head when he heard rumbling that sounded closer___________—_much closer___________—_than he would've liked, Hope frantically tried to discern the source of the sound. It was coming from above him, he was sure, but where it was, and in which direction it was coming from... he didn't know.

He could make out the stalagmite that was illuminated by the pool of watery grey light now; suddenly determined to get to it, though he knew better than to expect that it would be some sanctuary from the hell that was quite literally raining down around him, Hope dived under the collapsing stone ceiling, landing on the other side just before a cascade of rocks came tumbling down.

Panting and out of breath, he cast quick glance behind him; he could hear scabbling coming from the other side of the rock. "Maker," he breathed out quietly. _Whoever it was must've landed on the other side... and how long will it take for them to shift all that rock? _The answer was probably 'not long', as he picked up speed again, noting that the stone dust was getting thicker, making it harder to breathe.

The illuminated light coming from the sky so many feet above him made him feel even more hopeless. There was no chance that he'd be able to somehow get himself up that far to make it into the open air, and the passageway sloped down steeply in front of him. In the dim light, he could begin to make out rusted, roughly-made brackets set into the wall___________—_clearly, the mountain had been put to some other use before the centuries it had lain in abandonment. _What good does that do me now? _he thought bitterly___________—_on a better day, the discovery might've made him feel triumphant that they were finally unravelling more of the mystery around them, but right now, Hope cared for the fact that they'd been right about as much as he cared about the water running down the weeping walls. _It's not going to help me get out... _

The frantic scrabbling at the wall of collapsed rock behind him was growing louder.

Deciding that this would be a good time to make a run for it, _before_ whatever it was behind the stone broke free and would start to chase him in earnest, he started down the dipping path. Trying to run and keep an eye out behind him, though, was proving a difficult task___________—_the path curved at sharp and unpredictable angles, forcing him to stop short in order to barely miss colliding into a cold, wet wall. The floor was starting to become slippery, and when he next passed an opening into the sky, Hope knew why: it was starting to rain again; the cold, icy drops splattering the stone walls, creating puddles on the ground.

A new fear struck him: what if the mountain filled with water? With all the entranceways blocked by the landslide, wouldn't it be possible for the passageways to flood? _Between drowning... and suffocating... _Taking a sharp left, he avoided the cascade of water that was beginning to drip through the spaces between the rock: the storm was growing heavier and he slipped more than once on the smooth, wet surface.

Pursuir behind him seemed far enough___________—_he could still hear the screeches and shrieks, along with the clicking of claws on the stone, but with every sharp turn that he took, they seemed to become fainter. _Did they just lose me... or did they just find someone else? _Fervently hoping it was the former, he almost staggered over an interior cliff when the path suddenly opened up into a central area.

Catching himself just in time, Hope cautiously peered over the edge: the rope and wood that had once formed some sort of barrier around the central tunnel had long since turned into practically non-existent stumps and hanging remnants of plant material: they wouldn't be strong enough to hold anything back and he was quite sure that had he not caught himself in time, he would've plunged to the bottom of the mountain.

The interior___________—_though dark___________—_resembled a mine, sure enough. Someone had dug a central shaft in which some light from the top of the mountain could stream in, and from the edge here, Hope could see all the way to the very bottom of the mountain. There was something glimmering down there, but whether it was gathered water or the metal that the spherical container was made of, he couldn't be sure.

"_Hope?_" A faint yell sounded in the distance, several levels down___________—_he couldn't see that far, but Hope was more than sure that that was Snow: the big blond had been one of the only dots on his locator that had stayed consistent.

He'd just been about to open his mouth to shout a reply when some of the rock ceiling exploded apart___________—_he barely had time to cover his head with his hands before several birdlike creatures emerged from the smoke, claws gleaming in the faint light the rainstorm provided.

* * *

Lightning suppressed a quiet sigh of relief when her foot finally left the squelching mud of the still-wet, battered moor and onto solid rock. The Meurites had assured her that this was the path to the mountainside that would _hopefully_ lead them to where they were going. She'd bitten back the question almost instantly: _So you don't know where you're going? _

Truth be told, she was itching to take a faster pace___________—_if what Taksin had said was true, then Hope was in more danger than she'd thought. But she had no idea where he was... still, and if she was going to protect him, then she had to figure out as much information about her enemies as she could...and tagging along behind would ensure _that_.

Still, it didn't mean she had to like it.

And though it was a welcome distraction from the mental demons that were never far away from her, she still found that it wasn't enough. Her thoughts drifted back to him___________—_and to what she could've done___________—_more often than not, especially when she sat down to rest. Taksin hadn't prodded her for more details since the time they'd gone root-digging, but she could feel the Meurite's burning gaze on the back of her neck whenever she picked a spot somewhat apart from the rest of the Meurite troupe.

_There's nothing wrong with that... right? _She didn't see why she had to be included___________—_and Lightning certainly wanted to avoid more conversations like that one. _Just... _It wasn't that the Meurite was terribly intrusive or anything, and she knew they were questions _anyone_ might've asked; they just bothered _her_ more than they would've bothered an average person.

Still, the one quality she actually _liked_ about him was that he was straightforward: he didn't beat around the bush, or bother with useless preamble___________—_he got to the point. _And that... that's what made me realize I was wrong more than anything. Because Hope was right... we can explain... they're not _all_ bad. _It went against everything that she'd been taught, everything that she'd known to fight for, but then again, so much of her perspectives had changed that that was no longer a surprise to her.

_He's changed who I am. _The old Lightning wouldn't have admitted something so _sentimental_, so uselessly_ nai__ve_, but she could no longer deny that fact___________—_that Hope had utterly changed who she was. _Because of him... I learned to let people in, I learned to _trust _other people further than I could t__hrow them... and I learned what it meant to _understand_ someone. _She still wasn't sure whether that fact still held true...but she could no longer let herself confuse that sentiment with what she had to do.

It might've hurt___________—_and the fact remained that Lightning knew that if the outcome wasn't the one she so desperately wanted, she wouldn't be able to deal with it well...if at all. _But I also know that I can't... I can't let how _I _feel_ _get in the way of what's the right thing to do. _She found that she was just as terrified of the prospect as she had been before... but there was a part of her that knew___________—_now___________—_that she would have to accept it.

_This is what I was scared of... opening up, letting people in... and having them find that they don't like the person inside._ It seemed a fear created long ago; a memory borne on transcendent wings across years that that had held true...but it was a painful reality Lightning knew she would have to accept, if things came to be as they seemed in her fears. Clenching her slender hand into a fist, she set her gaze on the mist shrouded mountain peaks that the trail led them up to. _I have to. _

The going was faster than she would've originally anticipated; the Meurites were at least as agile as she was, and the treacherous mountain pass was easier on them than it was on her___________—_with four paws and a different body structure, their bodies were much more suited for the mountain path than she was. Refusing to show weakness, though, she buried the doubts and fears; tucking them away somewhere deep inside where they couldn't reach her throat or her immediate consciousness. How long it would hold, Lightning didn't know, but for now, they were smouldered underneath her desire to _protect. _

And that, that in itself was funny... because she'd never imagined that that would be the _word_ for what she was doing. _"It can't protect. It only destroys." _The words that she'd repeated so long ago to Hope had seemed true enough at the time... but they weren't now, because she _wasn't_ looking to destroy. _I'm here to hold in my hands what's dear to me...and shield it._

That particular resolve spread icy fingers of calm through her chest, even though her soldier's sense of unease grew as they climbed the dizzying cliff. It just wasn't _right____________—_and the rumbles in the distance didn't sound natural either. _It's too... uncontrolled to be th__under_. Though storm clouds gathered thickly at the peaks, preventing her from seeing too far, Lightning was sure that what was over the next small crest of rock was_ not _going to be a storm.

Her left hand had trailed unconsciously down to the pack on her left thigh. Sneaking a glance at the Meurites that had to be at least fifteen paces ahead of her, she thought it was safe to dig out the small red orb that she'd tucked inside. Lightning still wasn't quite sure of her aversion to telling the Meurites about it___________—_but there was a part of her that knew there would be trouble if she did...and her instincts had proven themselves over and over to her in the past; she didn't see a reason to stop trusting them now.

Discreetly fumbling with the flap, the tips of her fingers brushed something warm. It wasn't hot enough to burn her, but Lightning didn't need to look at the small glass orb to know that it was no longer the cool, dim sphere that had reformed in her hand. Clenching it tightly for a moment, she relished the warm that pounded in the rhythm of her heartbeat against her palm___________—_it reassured her that whatever the hell lived inside the orb seemed to have regenerated its power.

_If only I could use it at my own will... _Remembering with a pang the loyalty of Odin, she couldn't help but compare her Eidolon with the small stone that she was gripping in her palm. _Okay, Farron; this is more than you could've wished for____________—_when the bird's here, you can use your own magic with no cost. Quit complaining. 

They'd reached the top of the mountain pass; looking down over the crest of the mountain, Lightning felt both panic and dread attack her stomach once she was sure of what she was seeing. There were teems of Meurites___________—_enemy Meurites, by the look on her unwilling companions' faces___________—_swarming around the next mountainside. Some, though they were as small as ants from their vantage point, were using what looked like bazookas, aiming for the mountains___________—_there weren't any visible targets... but it didn't take her long to figure out what they were aiming for.

The stone and rock of the mountain were already unstable___________—_centuries of erosion and weathering had guaranteed that: _And when you aim your cannon at the top... you're going to bring the entire mountainside down in a landslide. _"There's people in there," she hissed, the sudden realization striking her like a blow. _You wouldn't need to bomb a mountain unless you wanted to flush them out. _

"Are you sure?" someone yelled at her___________—_over the wind of the brewing storm, she couldn't be sure of who it had been. _But I'm sure____________._ She wasn't a military strategist, but she'd paid enough attention during tactics class to know what she was talking about. Fear pounded through her like adrenaline___________—_just _who _was inside? There were many more enemies than she would've expected than if they were just out after a military squad: _They've got weapons and magic. _Remembering all too well the one she'd fought in the cliffs just outside her home, Lightning felt a knot of anxiety ball her stomach. _What's another army squad to them at this point? _

No, for an enemy force this size... it had to be some_one_, or several _someones_ important. _I__t can't be... Hope, can it? _She wanted to tell herself the thought was ludicrous___________—_she'd left him probably several hundred miles away and for him to have made it out here alone___________—_or even with Snow___________—_was terrifying in its implication. _He can't... he doesn't even know where I'd have been... _But the truth was, she had a nasty feeling it _was_ Hope and Snow___________—_who else would have a high enough magical potential to draw _this_ large of a force?___________—_and Lightning gripped the handle of her omega weapon tightly in one hand.

She'd fought against impossible odds before... and if it came down to it, she'd save him or die trying.

But Lightning didn't get to contemplate just exactly how she was going to get down there before screeches rang out above her. Whipping around___________—_not realizing that she'd unconsciously made her way right up to the very precipice of the mountain ledge they were standing on___________—_she had barely a second's warning before taloned claws swiped over the air where her throat had been.

Ducking and tucking herself for a forward roll, the omega weapon was in gun mode in a flash. Burying a bullet into one tattered wing, she saw the enemy Meurite spiral to the valley below, vanishing into the darkness. There were snarls and shrieks coming from the pass they'd just emerged from; straining to see through the gloom of the coming storm, she could make out grappling forms in the rapidly falling icy rain___________—_with a pang, Lightning realized she couldn't tell which ones were enemies, and which ones were allies.

A wolf-like Meurite launched itself at her; leaning back so that her back nearly pressed to the stone, she kicked it away from her as it passed over her, throwing it over the side of the mountain. Scrambling to her feet, she flinched and instinctively lashed out at the contact against her shoulder. "It's me!" came the indignant hiss.

Turning and wiping sopping bangs off her forehead, the flash of lightning allowed her to discern the grim face of Taksin in the faint light. He bore the scratches of some other Meurite down one shoulder, but that didn't seem to concern him at present. "How did they find us?"

Lightning had been wondering that herself.

There was no way the Meurites down below had spotted them: they were too high up and even if the cloud cover had been clearer, they were maybe six stick figures against a mountainside... and it was raining. There was only one other possibility she had in mind___________—_it wasn't nice, but _someone _had to say it sooner or later. "Isn't it obvious?" she hissed back. "Someone's betrayed you. They _knew _you were coming here... they _knew_ you'd be coming this way; there must be a million pathways up this mountain but they knew you'd pick this one___________—_as soon as we made it past the other side of the mountain, they came."

She saw his eyes widen at the prospect, but the fact that he'd kept his mouth shut told her that he knew she was probably right. She would've liked to spit out the rest of her theory___________—__who the hell would send a group of people to look for something and not be clear on what to look for?____________—_but she didn't have the time to: another enemy had launched itself at them.

She buried several bullets in its body without thinking, dropping it like a rock to the slick stone surface before an arm to the chest stopped her from moving forwards again. She'd been about to curse out loud___________—_but he stopped her. "Don't," he hissed at her.

"Don't what?"

"Don't kill them, that's what! Don't you see___________—_they're just following orders, they're not the enemy!"

She'd been about to snap that it didn't matter if they were just following orders: it was kill or be killed, when familiar wingbeats arrived on the dark horizon.

* * *

***Cheshire Cat grin***

**Okay, you know what, this chapter was already much longer than I originally intended it to be___________—_it was supposed to be cut off at Hope's segment but that didn't happen, so feel happy that you guys got an extra 2,000 words. *pouts***

**At this rate, we're moving faster through the plot than I intended (which ties into a certain question _some_ of you have been badgering me about), so, well...  
**

**Anyways. Reviews feed my inspiration, as you very well know, and I will do my utmost to get the next chapter out for you guys as soon as possible. Until then, however, you guys will be treated to _Kyubey'_s (whom I have deemed my newest muse) one singular expression:  
**

**/人◕‿‿◕人\**

**Comments and critiques (as well as speculation) are always loved and cherished, and I will _try _to get Chapter 25 up by tomorrow. Yes. Tomorrow. I set myself high goals. See you soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	25. Within the Darkness

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_! **

**Yes, I did it! This chapter is in no way short (clocking in at over 6,500 words), but I finally managed to do it! I actually started last night, but I was super motivated to finish it because it tied in so, so well with the last chapter_________—_really, it could've been one. (but that would've been too long) The following chapter is pretty heavy on certain themes (and I'm not sure you'll like what's coming) but it had to be done and I regret that it had to happen so quickly. I wish I could've fleshed out certain aspects of it more for sure, but we really needed to move on... Lightning was spending too much time by herself and Hope, well... Hope is Hope. :(  
**

**Anyways; my love goes to: Jack Hargreave (you'll have to see about that soon enough), H-thar (Light-san is sorry she stepped on you, so I apologize on her behalf. And I totally had you in mind when I said that this chapter didn't have all likeable aspects... *kneels* forgive me?), GKMader (awh, hun, thanks so much!), and Tager96 (I try to respond to every review I get... unless it's super generic, but yes, I do try to respond n_n).  
**

**And to LadyAlaska_________—_noooooooo way hun, I love you _way _more. I love you as much as *thinks furiously* Hope loves Light. (now there's an incentive) Can't top that, can ya? *cackles*  
**

**Enjoy as always!**

* * *

Chapter 25: Within the Darkness

Lightning felt her hand grip the handle of the omega weapon tighter than she probably would've needed to: she'd know _those_ particular wingbeats anywhere. Taksin seemed to recognize the sounds as well, because he quickly whipped his head up, readying an arrow at the point of his bow.

Arturo seemed to melt out of the darkness like a shadow; grinning as he usually was, Lightning felt a flicker of surprise cut through her when she realized he didn't have a weapon. _He had one... before, right? _She remembered the fight back at the gorge: he'd been the only Meurite who'd been armed back then. Of course, that was before he'd shed his cover, so to speak, but he'd been competent enough with a gun. She narrowed her eyes_________—__Is he just that confident he'll win without one?_

She didn't know_________—_but she'd had her fair share of people who'd been disgustingly confident in their own abilities in the past to know to _not_ take him lightly... but he didn't seem interested in attacking her_________—_or them_________—_because he held his arms aloft in a very odd position, one that she wouldn't usually have associated with an attack. "You're quite the sharp one, aren't you?" he murmured, looking at her. "That's why you'd be so much better off on_ my _side_________... _I can give you what you want most." He lowered his voice until he was barely audible over the sound of the rain. "Don't you want to see your sister again?"

The words seized her chest and lungs the moment they crashed into her eardrums; frozen in place and unable to process anything else, Lightning tried to fight_________—_futilely_________—_the panic and guilt that was rising in her chest. _I-I want... _Just like before, there was a part of her that knew it was a lie... that knew it couldn't be true, but there was some pathetically needy, pathetically _stupid_ part of her that wanted to _believe. _She knew herself well enough to know that.

"Don't listen to him," came the hiss beside her. "It's a lie. He can't give you what you want."

But she wasn't listening anymore.

The images became unbearably prominent in the forefront of her mind, and Lightning couldn't push away the memories of both pain and longing_________—_the desire to just _forget_, to _stop living... _and the desire to give up her own life for the things she'd done wrong. _If __Serah could come back... _The dark desire was there, to _want to believe_, and it was only horribly punctuated by the dimmed sounds of battle around her. A rough hand seized her shoulder. "Don't."

The quiet command was familiar_________—_and for a moment, she was confused: it plucked easily at long-buried memories...but in the light of her current condition, it didn't take long for those memories to resurface. _"Don't." _It was a word Hope had repeated to her often, when she was at her very worst; the demure tone of fear and loss in it always made her feel guilty... because she was supposed to be strong for him. She'd promised to protect him too.

_I promised... _

The memory jolted her out of her daze in a fraction of a heartbeat; shoving her pain and guilt back down her burning throat, Lightning tried to focus on reality. _I'm supposed to be here to protect him, not... _Her index finger tightened reflexively on the trigger, and she tried her best not to let the weapon tremble in her hands. She didn't know how vulnerable she was supposed to have looked to Arturo in those moments, but she raised her weapon to shoulder height all the same. _I can't. _As much as it pained her to think that, if there was one thing Hope had taught her since, it was to keep going, not dwell in the past; swallowing, she tried to keep that thought to heart. _For the future... not for memories. _

She could make out the tattered reptilian wings in the dim, water indigo light that was all the rainstorm offered; she could bury a bullet in one of them easily enough... and send her enemy plummeting down the canyonside just like she'd done to the bird Meurite barely half an hour ago. But instead of flinching back at her clear move to attack, a nasty grin was spreading on the scaly features as he lifted those wings."I suppose you can't win them all. Oh well," he lamented delicately, "it's your loss." The grin was spreading as he made a move to leave, melding back into the gloom of the storm. "But if I were you, I'd get to your little _friend_," placing an odd emphasis on the pronoun, "before I do."

Her bullet sliced through clean air.

Lightning found that she was breathing hard_________—_much too heavily for the light exertion she'd put her body through_________—_as she struggled to keep herself calm. But she couldn't: Arturo's words had awakened a desperate flare of panic inside her chest that eroded through all other emotions like fire melting ice. The only thing she could coherently think about right now was that Hope was indeed, somewhere in there, trapped inside the mountain that would be more dangerous than what was outside it to begin with. _But... I have to... I have to get in there. _

Responding to instinct, without thinking, Lightning leapt down the jagged mountain pass, past caring about the slick surface of the rocks that were none too stable underneath her feet. "Wait!" a shout echoed after her, but she ignored it_________—_whatever the hell it was, it could wait, for all she cared. What mattered to her now_________—_the _only_ thing that mattered to her now_________—_ was that she reached Hope before something else got to him.

_He hasn't got... he can't even defend himself... I have to get there!_ Loud, clattering footsteps behind her told her she was being pursued, but it barely registered in her immediate consciousness. Slipping precariously on the rocks that lined the mountain path downwards to the next peak, she let out a hiss of pain as a rock tumbled out from under her foot, driving her left shoulder into the rough rock face of the mountain. "_Wait!_" came the shout again, and this time, Taksin caught up to her before she could continue her way down the rest of the treacherous stone path. "Don't just_________—_Look, I know you're worried, but you can't go charging in there by yourself! That's suicide."

"I don't care," she growled out between gritted teeth, trying to ignore the throbbing new pain in her shoulder. "He can't have Hope." _No matter what. Even if I have to sacrifice myself to do it. _

"But you're still only one person," he countered, though the tone in his voice was less sure this time.

She whipped around, tightening her grip on her weapon. "So _what_? I don't have an alternative, so stop wasting my time and get the hell out of my way." Lightning was past caring about how harsh her desperation was making her sound; her only concern right now was to get to _him_ before it was too late... _Before all of the mistakes I've made come __back and hit me in the face._

She'd made him flinch back a little with her tone; a mess of emotions she didn't have the higher mental functions to figure out at this moment crossed his gaze for perhaps a fraction of a second before he opened his mouth again. "Look, all I'm saying is... not all of the Meurites down there are your enemies. Some of them don't know better, some of them were forced to join them. If we could just talk_________—_"

"_Talk?_" Lightning wanted to laugh with brazen disbelief_________—_time was ticking away and every second she wasted here debating morals with this Meurite was another second Hope would have to run_________—_virtually defenceless_________—_against a horde of enemies after him. "You really think that if we just waltz up to them and _talk, _they'll surrender?"

He stood his ground. "They just need to understand us." The statement was simple, firm, and she could see in his eyes that he really believed it... and for a moment, that made her pause.

_"We need to understand each other." _Words that both Serah and Hope had spoken, in some form or another, rang through her head like an alarum; bringing to light her current situation and the complications it presented. A flash of light lit up the sky for a moment_________—_illuminating the chaos that in the mountainside spread beneath her, highlighting just how very little time she had left. Taking a breath and trying to calm her racing heartbeat and emotions, Lightning tried to understand what her sister had meant with that deceptively simple sentence. _Understand? Understand what? _

The only thing she thought she understood was how to fight... but according to Serah, that wasn't true either. _Did I... Did I really understand him? _She wanted to believe that it was true, certainly _hoped _that it was true, but Lightning was no longer as certain of that as she once might've been. _"When you first met hi__m... you thought he was some terrified, helpless kid. But you got to know him... you _understood_ him... that's why you fell in love with him." _She wanted to shake her head and snort at the thought... but the one thing she had learned about her little sister in the years past was that when it came to people... Serah rarely made mistakes. Unlike her, her sister had confidence in other people Lightning could only dream of: Serah hadn't been afraid to make the connections _she'd_ been scared to make.

Shaking her head, she tried to dislodge those thoughts_________—_compassion sure as hell wasn't going to help her find Hope any faster and she was wasting time thinking about it. _And so what if I convince a few that we're not the enemy... or whatever? There must be hundreds of them down there. _Moving forwards again, Lightning ignored the splutterings of the Meurite behind her, setting her sights on the very bottom ledge of stonemore than a hundred feet down, at the very least. Her path was interrupted more than once by cascading tumbles of water, no doubt caused by the rain; splashing through them, past caring about the water droplets that were flung up by her desperate steps to land on her back and cape, her only desire was to get to the bottom of the mountain pass before it was too late... and before the damn morals that were being preached at her in some form of another ate away at her current resolve.

_We can't. _Even if she thought that the particular Meurites behind her weren't enemies in the sense of the word... the Meurites spread out beneath her were. She didn't have time to explain everything to everyone; didn't have time to go about convincing them that fighting her would get them nowhere. _Why can't you understand that? _She might've agreed that they weren't _all _bad, but that didn't mean she had to go and buddy up with every single Meurite that she met. _Because that's ridiculous... we want different things__________—_and that's something that can never be simply 'explained'. 

Skidding to a stop at the very bottom of the mountain pass, breathless and sweating even through the cold rain that was pounding down from the steadily-darkening skies, Lightning could see that she'd caught some unwanted attention already. Several Meurites_________—_who'd been wielding various weapons_________—_turned at the sound of the splash that her footsteps made.

Lightning flicked her gunblade into sword position, raising it to chest height in front of her; she still had several hundred meters to go before she reached the very bottom of the mountain_________—_how she was going to get in was a different question, but she'd take that particular hurdle when she came to it; what was painfully dominant in her mind at the moment, though, was that in no way was she going to be stopped here. _Not before I find him. _Narrowing her gaze at the incoming enemies, she tightened her grip on the omega weapon. "Bring it on."

* * *

The initial blast of rock had barely missed him; as it was, Hope felt a sliver of sharp stone graze his cheek. Dodging under the swipe of the taloned claws, he realized with a pang of fear that he didn't have time to grab for a manadrive_________—_the only thing he held solidly in his hand right now was Nue... and there were too many to hope to hit them all. _Crap... crap!_

Trying to think, Hope knew that he had to get away from the edge of the internal cliff: he had no chance of survival if he fell from this height, even if water was gathering at the very bottom of the mountain as provided by the storm raging outside. Trying to count in the darkness, Hope could make out the silhouettes of at least three Meurites in the gloom. Backing against a wall, he groped blindly in the darkness, feeling a surge of anticipation increase his heartbeat when the fingers of his left hand closed around something cold and small.

Right now, it didn't matter what it was: he _had_ to use it. Flicking the manadrive on, he didn't know what spell would come out of it until thunder rocked the rock, sending sparks and thunderwaves rippling along the wet stone. Two of the Meurites fell on contact with the Thundara manadrive: whether it was because they had been electrocuted or whether the artificial magic had been enough to kill, he didn't know. _I don't want to... _Swallowing, he tried to push the familiar doubts out of his mind: even now, even when he could be literally inches away from death, he still couldn't shake off the thought that if they could only _understand_ each other, then at least _some_ of this violence could be avoided.

Lightning's words wormed their way into his brain. _No, Light. I know what you meant... but it's not right. We need..._ The remaining Meurite launched itself at his head with a vengeance, having seen its companions drop once struck by the thunder; ducking underneath the initial swipe of the claws, this time, he aimed Nue at it as it tried to turn back for a second assault, making sure that the blow would not be one that would kill.

The rain was coming down harder now; he could see thin rivulets of water beginning to run from the opening at the top of the mine into the sky and the occasional flash of lightning lit up the sky for a brief moment, throwing everything into a sharp relief. "_Snow?_" His shout echoed uselessly off the stone walls_________—_there was no response. Either the blong brawler had moved on, or... _No. Snow would never go down without a fight. _

Though he'd just taken down three enemies, Hope couldn't be sure of how many more there were: it was dark and though he would be able to hear enemies approaching from a long way off, the sound wouldn't be enough to give him enough information until it was too late. Remembering that there had been pursuit behind him, he gave the walls a cursory sweep_________—_dread formed in his stomach when Hope realized that he couldn't discern_________—_and couldn't remember_________—_which entrance on this level he'd come out of through the confusion and disorientation of the were at least four separate passageways that led away from this central area on this level... and right now, he couldn't afford to take any chances.

_There's gotta be a way down, right? And Snow should be somewhere down there too... right? _It was a necessary precaution, and he knew he'd have to find Snow sooner or later._ I'm__________—w_e're_________—not getting out of this without sticking_ _together_... Using the slick stone wall as support and as a guide, Hope cautiously made his way around the circular central area; wary of puddles that would not only give away his general location to any enemy in earshot but would also present the slight chance that he could slip. _And for sure... I won't survive a fall down the central shaft. _

Heartbeat still hammering in his throat and gripping both his weapon and the half-used manadrive tightly in one hand, Hope felt a flicker of relief when the path, indeed, began to slope downwards about halfway around the circle. Trying to ignore the dripping rain that fell from the cracks in the stone overhead, the lower level was even more dim that the one he'd left. He could make out more rusted brackets set into the wall, though, along with an decrepit mine cart rusted into the corner; the twisted tracks that began on this level led in many different paths, spiralling into the darkness.

What concerned him at the moment, though, was that fact that the sounds and shrieks from above his head were growing louder_________—_Hope remembered, with a little too much clarity, the cave in that had barely missed his head; he'd been sure_________—_as he still was now_________—_that a Meurite had tried to bring down the rocks onto his head; with their unnatural strength, it wouldn't've taken them long to shift through that rock and unless they found a better target, they'd still be after him.

_But where am I supposed to go? _The locator on his wrist didn't map out the mountain for him because it didn't have enough data_________—_and he couldn't afford to waste time by trying out every single path this place had to offer. _Think! _The rusted tracks had caught his eye. _Minecarts are supposed to bring the mined metal, out... right? So wouldn't one of them lead out? _He still didn't know which ones were which... but at least he could rule out at least half of the many choices he had now.

Quickly scanning the area again, Hope paused in front of a likely looking corridor. There was air_________—_fresh air_________—_ flowing out of it, and the track twisted away into the darkness; in the distance, he could make out more spots where a bit of sky poked through: those spots were illuminated on regular intervals by a flash of lightning. He took a tentative step into the cavern; suddenly unsure if this was the right path to chose, his decision was made for him when a much louder screech split the air above him. The sound squashed his momentary indecision, as Hope stumbled blindly forwards into his chosen passageway, cursing silently to himself when his foot splashed through a puddle that had formed in the rainfall. _Please let this be the way out... _

* * *

Slicing upwards with her gunblade, Lightning paused for a split second to gauge her progress across the expanse of bare rock that still lay in between her and the dark mountainside. The Meurite that she'd been fighting dropped to the ground with a slow thud_________—_leaping over its fallen body, she pushed her own into a dead sprint. _I have to make it... I have to make it! _Talons came for her head; ducking underneath them with a forward somersault, she scrambled back up the next second to bury a bullet in its wing.

A claw hooked into her cape, pulling her backwards; whipping around, she twisted until the end of the fabric ripped through the claws gripping it. Meeting those same claws with her weapon the next moment, she fought back a hiss between her teeth_________—_she was getting pushed back on the slick surface and she knew it. Springing back with a backflip, those claws sunk into the ground, creating small fissures were the tips buried themselves in the rock. Using the momentary advantage this presented to her, Lightning dived forward to swipe her omega weapon across the Meurite's throat.

Panting, she stopped for a moment to catch her breath; resting her hand on her knee, she used the other to wipe her dripping pastel pink bangs off her forehead. _The only good thing about this rain is that they can't use fire in it. _Briefly, that thought scared her for a heartbeat: what if the phoenix couldn't attack in the rain either?_________—_before she pushed it out of her mind. _I'll be able to use _my _magic. That's all that matters. _

As she pushed herself forwards again, a snarl came out of the darkness to her right: it sounded like it had come from ahead of her, but in the gloom, Lightning couldn't be sure. The Meurite in question exploded from the blackness, claws outstretched, and she'd just raised her weapon to meet its throat before those claws could catch her when something else dropped it to the ground, pinning it by the front shoulder into the wet rock. _What the__________—_

Turning quickly, the silhouettes behind her confirmed who it was in her mind; there was Taksin and his remaining friends, definitely looking the worse for wear, but still fighting all the same. Suppressing an exasperated sigh at their unwillingness to kill, she could see their intentions backfiring in the few seconds she'd spared to turn around: one of the injured enemy Meurites was still crawling towards them all the same; Lightning watched it bunch its back legs in a last ditch attempt to leap.

Her shriek of warning came at the exact moment that the enemy Meurite sank its teeth into the throat of one of his friends_________—_there was absolutely no hesitation when she pulled the trigger to bury a bullet into its temple, dropping it like a dead weight. The yells of shock were immaterial to her ears as she stood still, watching the mix of blood and rain trail past her boots; still breathing hard through her nose, Lightning could see their last attempts to save their friend, but she'd been a soldier for too long not to know a fatal wound when she saw one. Once a pool of blood_________—_even one that was being continuously diluted by the heavy rainfall_________—_grew to a certain size, there was no going back. _This is why... this is why it's kill... or be killed. __Sure... talking might work _before _a __fight... but when someone's been ordered to kill you, nothing you say will change their mind. _

"You see?" she rasped hoarsely, once the twitching limbs were still. "This is why... _talking_ isn't going to work." Her senses were screaming at her to just forget about them, to keep moving, but Lightning found an icy rigidity beginning to steal over her limbs as she watched the lifeless eyes that stared into the dark sky.

Taksin looked up. "No," he maintained quietly. "Wars aren't won because of force. If we kept fighting... there'd be no one left to protect. Eventually, we'll all get wiped out. Peace is kept through understanding."

"_Understanding?" _she seethed, feeling anger beginning to take over her little comprehension of the topic that kept being brought up around her. "Is 'understanding' going to bring someone back from the dead? You really think_________—_" She wanted to continue, she really did, but the truth was that Lightning felt burning, agonizing fingers tighten around her throat even before the last syllables fell from her lips. She'd spoken in her anger without thinking again_________—_the painful, icy shard was being pierced into her chest and she knew from experience it wasn't going to be one that was going to go away easily. _Serah... I... _

The Meurite had just opened his mouth to argue with her when a blast of energy hit the ground barely three feet in front of them; the effects of the Ruin spell hadn't been strong enough to hit her, but the aftershock of it had sent her stumbling back a few steps. Catching herself before she was knocked off her feet, all thoughts of arguing_________—_and surprisingly, her own pain_________—_evaporated from her immediate consciousness as a flash of lightning illuminated the last fifty or so metres before the dark mountainside. Lightning felt something seize her chest when she made out the shambling, large figure of her next enemy in the gloom; it was making its way slowly towards them, but she'd already seen the potency and range of its Ruin spell for herself. _If I get hit by that... _

Tightening her grip on the slick handle of her weapon, she was prepared for its next attempt to hit her with a spell; diving to the right, she shoulder rolled back up into a standing position as the Ruin crashed into a rock some fifty yards behind her, causing it to explode into tiny slivers that joined the downpour onto their heads. A low growl escaped the Meurite facing them, and with a twist of apprehension, Lightning realized that it looked distinctively Cie'th-like... a fact that she did not like at all. Trying to move around it would be pointless_________—_the Meurite could probably cast Ruin faster than she could outrun its range and the last thing she needed right now was a Ruin to the back.

"Hey," came a hoarse hiss to her right; turning her head in that direction, she realized that Taksin had gotten up, an arrow already loaded in his bow; he was still breathing hard, and in the closer proximity between them Lightning realized there were several more wounds dug into the matted fur thrown into sharp relief by the brief flash of jagged electricity that tore through the rainy sky. "I'll distract it."

Narrowing her eyes at him, she gave him a critical glance; she appreciated the offer, but... _Wouldn't that be suicidal as well? _She didn't want to argue_________—_painfully aware that every second she wasted here dawdling was another second in which Hope could get seriously injured... or worse, but she wasn't going to ask anyone _else_ to die for him.

She had stayed still a fraction of a second too long to consider the offer; Lightning caught the brief grey flash of the Ruinga that was sent in their direction_________—_though her legs moved on sheer instinct, before she was even thinking about what she was doing, her reaction hadn't been fast enough_________—_even if it had been in time_________—_to get her out of the way of the attack. The only thing she'd managed to do before the spell hit her body full-on was turn, so that her weapon and left arm shielded her ribcage and chest from the focal point of the attack.

* * *

Lightning awoke to the sound of thunder.

Unused to the sensation of lying on the wet, cold rock, for a moment, she was confused as to why exactly she was lying on her side to begin with, before her mind began filling in the grisly details. _Right... that Ruin, but... _She couldn't seem to coherently grasp the full implications of the situation, but what she _could _comprehend was that there was nowhere as much pain as she would've expected. Finding that she was able to at least pull the upper half of her body into a sitting position, she bit back the wave of nausea that assaulted her the moment she sat upright_________—_accompanied by pounding temples and the bitter, metallic taste of blood in her mouth, Lightning thought she could safely conclude that _this_ would be just another unwelcome addition to her growing list of injuries.

_But why... _Remembering how potent the Ruin spell had been before, when it had completely demolished the large boulder that had been behind her, she didn't understand. Why _wasn't_ she some unrecognizable, charred corpse? Looking down, she realized that she hadn't even been _burnt_; there were some blisters on the exposed part of her left arm, but her omega weapon looked exactly the same as she'd seen it last. _I'm not... Why? _The majority of her newest injuries seemed to be from the fall she had to have taken when the impact of the spell had hit her... but why hadn't it done anything?

Slowly pushing herself up to her feet and trying to ignore the tilting dizziness of the world around her, Lightning had her answer when the shift in position brought something burning to her thigh. At first, she was alarmed_________—_before she realized that it was a sensation she'd felt before: it was the same sensation that had travelled upwards from her palm the moment she'd clenched her hand around the tiny glass sphere back at the stone temple. It hadn't occurred to her then, but... _But wasn't I under attack when I went for that, too? Did it... _It was the only explanation she could think of_________—_and she didn't have time to think of more___________________; _she had no idea how long she'd been unconscious, but from the silence around her, it was safe to assume that it had been awhile. _Hope... _Digging her hand into her pack, she tried not to wince at the sensation under her fingertips_________—_if the sphere had felt hot when she'd last checked on it sometime that afternoon... then it was nothing compared to the fire that the glass contained now.

The dim glow that she'd grown used to seeing in it was like trying to compare a dim candle to a fire_________—_the scarlet orb burned as though it was its own tiny star, illuminating at least several feet around her. Limping forwards, Lightning held the orb tight in her left hand with her omega weapon in her right; the Meurite that had cast the Ruinga in their direction seemed to have moved on... and the fact that there were no enemies in her vision or in her range of hearing was tantamount to the fact that they thought she'd been killed by the attack.

A faint moan attracted her attention, despite the fact that her desperation had returned as quickly as the raindrops were falling from the sky; if there were _those _enemies around... then how much danger would Hope have to be in? It hurt_________—_and terrified her_________—_ to think about it, and it only kindled her burning need to _find him _before he could get attacked by one. The light being given off by the orb in her hands came to rest on a huddled form lying a few feet away from her; she moved to get a a closer look... only to wish she hadn't.

The Meurite lying on its side was one she recognized, and it was only then did Lightning realize the cruel fate she'd been spared because of the orb from the temple: charred skin burnt to the bone, she didn't need to be a healer nor know any field medic skills to know that it was fatal as well. "You survived," came the quiet croak.

Swallowing, and fervently hoping to the Maker that the nausea in her stomach would not get worse, she forced the words past thistles in her throat. "Yeah."

She met his gaze slowly, not sure if she wanted to see the weight in his eyes nor the sight of more death playing out right in front of her. Because this _was_ death, as surely as she'd known it the moment Serah had dropped her hand back at the Ice Cliff Palace, as sure as she'd known it when she'd been pushed out of the dim hospital room for the very last time. But what Lightning also knew was that it would be equivalent to cruelty if she didn't_________—_and that thought was the thought that finally drove her ice blue gaze to meet the golden one as she bent down.

"Lightning." There was a pause in which the only sound that could be heard was the sound of the rain pounding down around them, washing away the blood and rock slivers that would soon be all that was left of this battlefield, and the sound of battle in the far distance___________________—_still halfway up the mountain pass down or perhaps from inside the dark mountain itself. "We understood each other... right?"

The question caught her off guard_________—_it wasn't one that she expected nor was it one she was prepared to answer. _But... _It pulled at something inside, because it was the one thing that had been repeated over and over to her throughout this entire mess... from Hope, to Serah, to the point where it challenged everything she'd ever thought she understood. _Did we? _Her grip tightened on her omega weapon as Lightning tried to keep her hands from shaking.

But despite the fact that they'd barely spoken civilized words to each other, despite the fact that almost all of their brief conversations had held barb in them from at least one side... she'd understood him better than she'd thought, and certainly better than her old mentality would've liked to admit. _I knew what he was saying, even when I didn't agree with it. And what I can't forget is... _She clenched her slim fingers into a fist around the burning glass sphere, remembering the weight, the finality in his tone when he tried to convince her that explaining things... _talking_ was a better method than fighting. She still wasn't sure if she agreed with it... _But I think I get it. I get what he's trying to say. _And maybe, maybe it would've taken death for her to realize why he'd tried so hard to advocate pacifism on her... but what Lightning couldn't deny was that it was also what Hope had been saying all along_________—_and for that sake alone, she knew_________—_now_________—_that she would have to at least _try. _

Taking a breath, trying to use it to calm her aggravated heartbeat, she tried to force the tremble out of her tone. "Yeah."

Her voice was hoarse, but she knew he'd heard the quiet assurance in it.

There was nothing here for her now_________; _there was no sense in staying and wasting more time_________—_and there was nothing left to _stay for_. Pushing herself to her feet; to her, it felt like the weight of her final conviction was dragging her down along with gravity itself, but she fought it. _I'm here for someone. And for his sake, for the sake of everyone that's died here tonight... I have to win. _There would be a time for her to mull over the events that had happened tonight at a later time, to mull over the weight of the final question that had been asked of her_________—_and the implication it brought_________—_but in order for that to happen, Lightning knew she would have to finish what she'd vowed the moment she'd figured out what was happening.

The way to the side of the mountain was clear now; quickly covering the last fifty or so metres that still lay in between her and the stone that loomed far above her head in the storm, her first step into a passageway that sloped steeply up was in no way hesitant or uncertain. The thought of the Cie'th-like Meurite in here, somehow stumbling after Hope in the darkness gripped her stomach in tight coils like a cobra.

_There is an unusual evil here. _

In the weight of what had happened, she'd almost forgotten the orb clenched tight in her left fist; Lightning had whipped around to attack an enemy that wasn't there before she realized who'd spoken. A surge of apprehension overtook the dark panic like a blade slicing though the darkness, as the smooth surface of the glass sphere dissolved under her glove, leaving her fingers clenching just as tightly into her palm.

The phoenix burst gracefully from its fiery prison, gliding effortlessly up the passageway that spiralled upwards into the darkness, illuminating the gloom that lay just ahead. For some reason, the sight of the bird, even through the ominous weight of the words it had spoken to her, instilled a deadly, icy calm in her chest_________—_the one that she'd been unconsciously longing for the entire time she and Hope been apart: the old sensation that allowed her to focus on only one thing at a time, no matter how drained and empty she might've felt otherwise.

Staring up at the passageway that had been illuminated by the fiery entity, she felt that same rigidity take over her limbs, driving her upwards though phantom pain still throbbed through her entire right side. Hope was somewhere within her reach now_________—_if she was careful and didn't make any more stupid mistakes, she could reach him and get him out of here before any more harm could befall him on her behalf; that thought was the only thought she allowed herself to think about, the only _purpose _that she allowed herself to contemplate.

And this time, that blissful clarity to her thoughts came easily; whether it was fueled by her anger at the death she'd just seen, or fueled by the harsh understanding of the brevity of the question that had been placed onto her shoulders, Lightning didn't know. But what she did know was that everything that had happened so far; her pain, the power plays that had juggled them all in its deadly embrace, and her desire to protect the one thing that she had the capability to anymore... had all contributed to this one moment, this one aspect of clarity that allowed her to embrace the nature that she'd been searching for for so long; each aspect of what had happened contributed to her _need_ to protect...no matter what the cost would be to her.

Pace increasing on the slick floor of the passageway, Lightning set her eyes on only what was in front of her; moving on instinct and stilling her mind to all other things but the task that she had in front of her.

_Alright... Whatever the fuck you are... you picked the wrong person to mess with. _

* * *

**All I can say is, this chapter was intense. Like, really, really intense, and I can only hope I did it justice.  
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**I'm really hoping I did, at any rate, because I think I'd cry for a week if it comes out to be that I didn't. *sobs* I so wanted to capture the vividness of Light's emotions, especially at the very end there... *whimpers***

**Anyways; reviews are my inspiration, seriously, I'd love to know how I did (and what I could improve on the next time such a scene calls for some serious brain-wracking moments) and what you guys thought about this chapter. ^w^ Leave some love, and I'll see you guys soon_________—_I'm busy both tomorrow and Saturday, but my goal _is_ to get Chaper 26 out by Sunday... I have a feeling it's a chapter that uhm, many? of you have been waiting for, though the _moment_ you've been waiting for might have to wait until Chapter 27... I don't know...  
**

**Hearts!  
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	26. Inherited Duty

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**Oh my goodness, this chapter was hard. As if action-scenes (intense ones, I might add) weren't hard enough in by themselves, I had to add the emotional flipside to them as well. *mumbles* I can only really hope that they come off right to y'all now...  
**

**But enough about me and my struggles: eternal love and thanks go to: Mylaervain (thank you very much, and here you are!), Jack Hargreave (oh, you'll have to see about that. But no worries, though, our 'hero' is always up for some major ass-kicking), That One Reviewee (oh, the tearjerking chapter in question might not be this one, but Maker help me for Chapter 27 *whimpers*) H-thar (*tunes EPIC REUNION music*), LawMan (aha, thank you—no, I haven't stabbed anyone just yet, and I'm glad you're excited for that FFXIII-2 fic cause I sure am!), and GKMader (oh goodness, hun, I love you, but intensity isn't a new thing for me anymore, as I learned in the past two days -.-)! You guys are seriously awesome and I can't thank you all enough. :3  
**

**Enjoy as always!**

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Chapter 26: Inherited Duty

Gripping the jagged rock beneath her fingers, Lightning pushed her body up the interior mountain path. The phoenix's light was glimmering somewhere up ahead of her, reflecting off at odd angles on the watery walls, illuminating the dark puddles that lay scattered in the passage. There was no other light to speak of, though rain occasionally dripped from some crevice that she couldn't see—that sound was occasionally punctuated by the echo of distant gunfire; a painful reminder of why, exactly, she was here.

She stepped into an ankle high puddle more than once; the loud splashing noise made her wince, but there was no pursuit behind her and she couldn't hear the sound of claws or shifting feet on stone that would be her only warning if there was. Exhaustion was starting to set in, but Lightning ignored it—her mind was still eerily, blissfully clear on _what _she had to do and the thought of that alone was enough to make her push her body to its limits.

_He can't… I can't let them get to Hope like they did… _Refusing to let the images wander into her mind, the last ledge that led upwards into some bigger, more spacious landing was above her head. Taking a few steps back, she made a running leap for it; hooking her fingers into a groove in the rock just beyond the edge of the stone ledge, she dug her boot into the rough stone, hauling herself over the small cliff.

She would've liked to stop to catch her breath—she was still breathing harder than she would've liked—but Lightning was painfully aware of the fact that every second she wasted here was another second Hope had to run for it… providing he wasn't already… _No! _She shoved that thought away angrily, refusing to believe it and refusing to let it taint her current mentality.

If it came down to it, she'd save him… or die trying.

The sound of the storm was muted here; she could no longer hear the distinct rumble of thunder nor the incessant sound of the unrelenting rain—but there were other sounds inside the mountain that proved to be a more effective distraction than the storm had been outside. The occasional shriek or howl of some Meurite echoed throughout the entire expanse of passageways; much too often for her liking. She was trying not to picture every single one of them associated with the thing she was trying so hard to prevent, but things didn't work that way—Lightning could keep the images from forming in her mind as easily as she could've thrown away her own weapon.

"Shut up," she growled to herself; she sure as hell didn't need the mental distractions when she needed every aspect of her immediate consciousness to help her get through whatever still lay in front of her. The shriek of the phoenix just up ahead made her break into a sprint—pushing out all other thoughts and fears, the only one that she was concerned about at present was what had caused it to screech like that. _Hope!_ Scrambling up a higher rock ledge that partially blocked the way into the next area, past caring about the scrape it earned her on the knee; her omega weapon was already in attack position as she looked down.

Spread beneath her were the remains of what looked to her to be a mine—there were jagged rocks that looked like they had been half picked apart and in some, rusted metal blades were still visible, even after what had to be centuries of disuse. The entire area was flooded in what looked like knee deep rain—of which was still falling from somewhere she couldn't see—but that wasn't the only thing that was being illuminated by the fiery wings of the bird.

Several Meurites were scattering from the flames, trying to dodge the fireballs and talon swipes that the phoenix was currently employing; Lightning had no idea why there were so many down here, where there were no enemies apart from her and the flaming bird, but she wouldn't waste the time in trying to find out. Leaping down, landing with her biggest splash yet in the deep water, she buried a bullet into the temple of the nearest one, past caring about the morals that had been preached to her over and over: compassion wasn't going to help her find Hope any faster, and she'd seen with her own eyes just how much compassion brought—absolutely nothing. _When something's been ordered to kill you… you won't change its mind. _

She was already soaked to the skin; one more shoulder roll in the deep water wasn't going to do her any further harm as she moved to duck a swipe from one of them; scrambling upright to slice the serrated edge of her gunblade across the shoulder of her enemy, she didn't waste any time trying to make sure her attacks weren't fatal. She was fighting to get to Hope before it was too late—and if killing was the way to ensure that she would, she would have no hesitation about doing just that.

_I promised I'd protect you… I promised I'd keep you safe! _The words were pounding into her head like a mantra; the only thing that she could comprehend and act upon with the little time that she had left to her. If Arturo hadn't found Hope before now… that would be a miracle in itself—but from the sounds of things above her head, a desperate struggle was still going on _somewhere_ within the bowels of the mountain. _Just a little longer… _

Slicing upwards diagonally with the gunblade that was crackling with electricity, she flung the Meurite away from her; blood that wasn't hers splattered down the front of her already-worn uniform, but it was quickly washed away by the water that was still falling from the dark sky above. Moving away from the steadily spreading red pools around her feet, Lightning caught the sight of the stone path circling upwards.

Splashing through the water to reach it, she gave the area a cursory glance as she passed; the entire mountain had been hollowed out from inside out—it was pretty obvious to her that it had been a mine of some sort…not that that fact would be of any use to her right now. _But that explains why the mountain was so unstable. _

Slipping a little on the sloping slick rock, she gripped the smooth, worn stone surface with her hands to prevent herself from sliding back down; the phoenix had already disappeared up ahead—Lightning had no idea where it had gone off to next, but it didn't matter at this point: her magic was all she needed right now. A dull splash from the pool she'd just left made her whip around; a Meurite she'd missed—or didn't bother fully finishing off—was rising from the dark water, glowing eyes intent on her as it tried to splash its way through the deep pool to reach her at where she was standing on the circular path upwards.

The spell left her hand before Lightning was aware of what she was doing—before she really thought about what she was going to do next, before her mind could completely process her reaction. The Thundaga hit the surface of the water with a painful vengeance; spreading quickly along the entire rippling surface of the gathered liquid with deadly accuracy. The Meurite that had gotten up was quickly pushed back down by the potency of the spell, fueled only by the conductivity of the water's surface as the flash of electricity illuminated the entire central cavern of the mountain for a brief heartbeat.

What it didn't do, though, was illuminate the silhouette of the one person that she had so desperately hoped it would. Scrambling up the sloping passageway, using her left hand to occasionally grip the stalagmites that grew on the sides, Lightning flicked her gaze upwards for a few heartbeats, trying to squint through the darkness.

The phoenix had vanished—for a moment, that scared her, until she realized that she could still feel the power that it provided thrumming through her chest and arms, momentarily erasing the effects of exhaustion that were beginning to grip her. Lightning found that she could breathe a little easier now; though her breaths still came in short, erratic gasps, she was able to pull a satisfactory amount of oxygen into her lungs with each one. _Where'd it go? _

It wasn't that she _needed_ its help in battle; she could manage well enough on her own provided she was careful and didn't give in to rash impulses and frustration, but the sight of the bird had calmed her a little, reassured her that there was still _power_ available to her should she need it. The sphere hadn't reformed in her palm—that meant she still had more time, right?

In the dimness of the central cavern, Lightning found that she was only able to see about five feet in front of her; it wouldn't be enough if she wanted to rely on her sight, and the only other sense that was available to her now was her hearing. Pulling in a deep breath, she leaned for a moment against the cold, wet rock, feeling just how fast her heart was beating… out of both physical exertion and desperation. _Hope, where are you? _

She couldn't hear the faint sounds of pursuit or battle anymore; though she _wanted_ to believe it was because there were no more enemies to fight, Lightning knew that was wishful thinking: it was more likely the opposite… that her enemies had no one left to _pursue. No! _Refusing to let herself go there, she gripped the handle of the omega weapon tightly in her right hand, fighting the images that came along with the thought. _It can't… it can't end like this. I won't _let _it end like this. _

That was when the one yell she'd dreamed of so often—so, so often in nightmares—echoed throughout the central cavern, horrifically resonated by the water that seemed so abundant even under a tomb of stone. Snapping into motion, the sound crowded out all other thoughts in her mind, pushing her body forwards into a sprint that was fueled by both fear and desperation. _Hope!_

* * *

The passageway he'd chosen wasn't as prospective as he'd originally thought it to be. Things had looked hopeful for awhile—the continuous flow of fresh air had promised that there would be _some_ way out of the mountain, and the fact that the floors were slick with rain and gathering puddles hadn't bothered him either: maybe one of the cracks in the stone would be low enough for him to clamber out of.

But Hope had no such luck—twice, now, he'd been forced to backtrack because the path ahead of him disappeared into water that he knew was over his head. Normally, he would've had no qualms about swimming, but the honest truth was that he couldn't see far enough into the darkness to ensure that he would have enough stamina to make it. Exhaustion was already beginning to claim his limbs—though Hope couldn't feel any outright aches beginning to make its way across his muscles, there was a certain rigidity to his movements that made him feel sure he was close to running on empty.

The sound of pursuit behind him hadn't stopped, either.

If anything, it sounded like the horde of Meurites after him had _increased_; he could hear the shuffling of limbs against the slick rock and the splash of feet or paws through the puddles that seemed so abundant down his chosen path. Starting to feel increasingly dumb, Hope wondered, briefly, how much further he could go before he would be pushing himself forwards not because he had the capability to, but because of fear and the utter instinct to survive. _Light… _

Refusing to let himself dwell on those thoughts, a large crack in the wall presented some opportunities to him: hiding was futile—Hope knew well enough that it wasn't his footsteps or desperate attempts to escape that were giving him away. _I'm broadcasting my general location to any enemy in range, _he thought bitterly. On their journeys, he'd always thought of his potential as a _gift_, something he could _use_ to help protect the people he cared about… but now, it was the one thing that drew danger to them all... and he couldn't even defend himself.

Slipping through the narrow crack, he cast a glance behind him; the crevice wasn't much larger than human size—he didn't know much about Meurite anatomy, but… _But it should stop _some_ of them, right? _

He would have to hope so.

A faint yell in the distance attracted his attention: his locator hadn't worked after the being soaked in that much rain, and he hadn't heard Snow since the big blond's shout to him what felt like eons ago, but the sound was there… and it was definitely human. He would've liked to shout himself—if anything to attract the attention of whoever else had the brains—or the stamina—to still be alive, but it was a scrap of memory created long ago under translucent leaves and metal bark that stopped him.

_I was scared then… Really, really scared. I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing, I didn't have a goal… all I wanted was to… _And it was funny, because he was _still _scared, even now. _Back then, I had someone to follow, someone to look up to to reassure myself that I was doing the right thing… _And that, that was something he didn't have now; something that made him feel even more helpless about the situation he was currently in.

_Because I _don't _know what to do, I don't even know if we're doing the right thing… fighting a war. _And though he couldn't keep the thought from straying into his mind, Hope hated himself for it, because that was exactly what had contributed to his current predicament. _If we hadn't argued… where would we be now? _The thought hurt—and it was one he didn't want to dwell on, because he knew it would only torment him with memories and regrets that he couldn't leave room for right now. _I have to find Snow… and get out, because if I don't, I won't find her. Ever. _

That thought was enough to push him forwards again; splashing through a shallow puddle, he passed underneath an opening that was high up above his reach… but the news wasn't all bad. The rain had started to calm, slowing into a steady, fine drizzle, and through the tiny space that the crack in the stone provided, he could make out the tiny glimmering of a single star in the cloud-torn, marbled night sky.

Trying to keep the hammering heartbeat in his throat under control felt like an impossibility—Hope could've sworn it was loud enough to be heard around him and the sound of swift pursuit by bodies that were much more adapted to the terrain than his was louder than ever behind him. The scraping of claws against wet rock continued eerily behind him and he was sure that it was because the Meurites after him had discovered the crevice he'd disappeared into. Fear exploding into panic, he pushed his battered body forwards into a run; wet rain dripped down onto his cheek, sliding down smooth skin marred by the single cut that had been left by the rock slivers... a memory so far away now in the unbridled struggle for survival that it felt like it'd been created centuries ago by someone else.

His foot splashed through shallow puddles more than once, creating sounds that would've given him away to a human enemy, sounds that he knew Lightning would've scolded him for. But at this moment, it no longer mattered: she wasn't here because of something stupid and naive he had the idiocy to argue with her over; she wasn't here because they hadn't been able to see eye-to-eye. _Why couldn't we understand each other? _

The thought overrode his desperate attempts to escape the fate he somehow knew he couldn't; a regret that seemed so imminent and tangible that he felt like had he had the strength to, he could've torn it from his chest and held it in dripping, wet fingers. _Light... _

Rock exploded from a passageway above him, causing him to stumble backwards and wrestling a cry from his lips that he couldn't control; thrown off balance, Hope caught a glimpse of flashing talons and glinting claws before the cave-in caused something else. The thin rock floor underneath him was starting to give way under the added weight; water and rock conjoined into one as the stone caved underneath their combined weights, turning the world into a plane where there was nothing but darkness and the occasional flickers of light that held no steady pattern.

* * *

Forcing his eyes open, at first, Hope couldn't see anything but black. The faint light provided by the occasional opening into the world outside the stone was gone; all that was left was a crushing darkness that he couldn't see through. The air was filled with the taste of stone dust and debris and apart from the occasional drip-drip of water, there was nothing but an all-encompassing silence.

Trying to scramble up proved a task that seemed impossible; he was out of breath and no matter how many lungfuls of the pathetically insufficient oxygen that was all the tunnel provided couldn't seem to return it to him. Shoulders and lower back faltering the moment he finally managed to enough of a grip on the damage his body had taken from the fall, Hope leaned his forehead against the weeping stone wall, trying to take deeper breaths as though breathing in more of the stone dust was going to help.

But it didn't—he couldn't seem to breathe properly no matter how much he inhaled, and for a moment, Hope wanted to slump to the ground in defeat. There were no sounds of pursuit now, though he couldn't make anything out in the darkness, but feeling around, his fingertips touched nothing but cold rock, stretching in a wide circle around him until he came to the pile of rubble that was all that was left of the cave in. _I'm stuck. _Hopelessness wanted to ingrain its roots into his chest; here he was, stuck under a Maker-knew how deep mountain, now with absolutely no possible way he was going to get out by himself.

As if to highlight the direness of the situation, low scrabbling came from the rubble that was left of the cave in—sounds of claws and other sharp things against bare rock as though the Meurites were waking up too; backing away slowly—though out of sheer instinct and not will—Hope found his back pressed to the wet stone in a surprisingly short amount of time. With absolutely nowhere to run, he felt as though his life was being stretched out in a string, as though the Maker was determined to make it last as long as it possibly could've, until there was nothing to do but to let it snap.

The scrabbling was growing louder; along with a muted, muffled sound that sounded as though it was coming from somewhere else, but whatever that was, whether it was help or certain doom, wouldn't make it to him before the Meurites that survived the cave-in would. Hope imagined those claws tearing into his skin—he had nothing but Nue and two impotent manadrives left on his person and he knew that it wouldn't be enough to even think about winning... and making it through the rest of the mountain alive.

Clutching the weapon to his chest, he could feel his heartbeat against his palm, the almost complete darkness doing nothing to hide him from enemies that he knew were just ahead of him, barely ten feet away. Trying to back away in the suffocating darkness, Hope knew that he wouldn't be able to make it through the boulder that blocked the rest of the tunnel nor would he have any chance of slipping by the debris unharmed. _I..._

He'd been on the verge of giving up, of _accepting_ what was going to happen when a new sound, one that made every single muscle in his body freeze in... what? Pain? Anticipation? Guilt? The conglomeration of emotions was suddenly too much for him to handle; shrinking back against the solid boulder at his back, Hope found that he almost couldn't breathe.

_"Thundaga!" _

Electricity crackled through the oxygen-deprived air like a shockwave, lighting up the darkness of the cavern with its deadly power before dying away in a quick flash almost identical to the one that had created it—but the spell did something that he couldn't... and that was to create an opening in the debris that prevented all forms of escape and knock aside the misshapen enemies that had been all too eager to sink their teeth into his skin.

Soft footsteps were coming his way... but he was no longer scared. Not in that sense of the word.

What he felt was a different sort of fear, the one that reawoke inside him whenever he probed the remaining, lingering sensation of warmth in memories that he knew would never leave him. The fear that told him he was going to be alone again, whether it was because the thing he so desperately wanted was no longer physically possible, or whether it was because he'd done something to merit that.

In the dim, faint light that was all that managed to make it through the tall, layered mountain that seemed intent on trapping them all, it was like he was looking at her for the very first time. Pink hair plastered to her scalp with rain, worn uniform clinging to her slender frame, Hope swallowed when he saw the faint shadows of blood splattered down its front. Crimson cape torn, it was clinging to the back of her thighs, still dripping.

And if he hadn't known any better, he would've been scared—the woman in front of him screamed nothing but 'dangerous' and the aloft gunblade in her right hand went only to underline that particular adjective. But it was the look in her eyes that spoke otherwise; it was a look he knew well, having seen it much too often in times past... times that he perhaps didn't want to think about, but were undeniable aspects of his past nonetheless. Taking a step forwards, afraid that he was going to stumble, Hope was almost too scared to say her name.

"Light..."

* * *

Every single muscle in her body seemed to freeze.

Lightning couldn't even begin to fully comprehend the warmth and relief that pervaded her limbs like water quenching fire at the sight of him, that he was okay. Dragging her eyes down his frame, she noted with a pang of something akin to pain at the narrow cut inscribed across one cheek, and the way he was holding himself. _He must've fallen down along with... _

She forced herself to remain calm—in the darkness, she couldn't really gauge his expression... and in the time that they'd been apart she found—again with that same sense of desperate fear—that she could no longer tell what he was thinking. And now that she was actually _here_, now that the thing that she'd been striving for was _here_, that icy rigidity was leaving her muscles, leaving her mind and emotions free to ravage her as they saw fit.

Part of her wanted to run, to _reach __out_ to him... to let the control she'd exercised over herself for who knew how long go. Instead, Lightning forced herself to take the stiff, controlled steps that her other half wanted her to take—the half of her that was afraid to reach for him because of the rejection she was sure it would bring.

Finding herself in the situation that had twisted and turned out of her grasp for so long, she found that she couldn't say anything—throat held captive in burning pain that she wasn't sure whether was from relief or sadness; chest held tight in agonized anticipation of what was yet to come. And right now, in the moment that she'd unconsciously longed and hated herself for, Lightning found that she could do neither of the things that she imagined she would do, in the scraps of time that she'd allowed herself to dwell on such a possibility—she was neither crying...nor was she begging for him to forgive her, for the simple fact that her body wouldn't allow her to do either.

Hope seemed caught in the same situation—she saw him jerk a hand in her direction, as if to reach out for her, before some darker thought flickered across his wary expression and he withdrew that gesture. Throat inexplicably tight, she forced the two syllables past thistles all too willing to strangle her. "Hope, I..."

The sound of something else made them both turn, snapped out of the moment like flaxen wings being burnt in the fiery sky—it was the sound of shifting, of slow, shuffling feet making its way over wet rock, and suddenly, Lightning knew what was coming. Strength consumed the fatigue in her limbs like an explosion; without thinking, really thinking, about what she was doing, she had the fingers of his left hand captive in hers in the next heartbeat, half-pulling, half-dragging him down the exposed passageway away from the sound as fast as she could push her tired body. "Let's go!"

Hope stumbled behind her—Lightning knew he had to be at least as exhausted as she was, but the burning desire to _protect_ had cloaked all other thoughts in her mind again; moving on instinct, and sheer instinct alone, she fought her way down the dark passage, past caring about what she was slicing at, past caring about _where_ exactly, they were going, only that she had to keep him _away _from those Meurites no matter what. The phoenix burst into being beside her, lighting the way up ahead of them with its fiery, burning light.

She heard him take a hoarse intake of breath at the sight of the flaming bird, but Hope kept his mouth shut—for that, she was grateful: there would be a time to explain everything that had happened to her later... _If there _is _a later for us. _But Lightning told that part of her to shut up; if nothing else, she would ensure that _he _got out safely.

The wings of flame brushed the edges of the wet stone; in its light that it left behind, she could see that the path in front of them was narrowing; the stone walls drew together, slick with precipitation, and she fought back the unease that rose in her throat. _What if this is a dead end too? _She swallowed those words before some aspect of them could make it to her lips—thinking that way now was _not_, in any way, shape or form, going to help. Pushing her body to a faster pace that she would be able to maintain, Lightning bit her lip when she saw that Hope was trailing behind—clearly, once again, she wasn't taking him into consideration.

_I have to get rid of this silly notion of 'self over others'. You're here for someone. Remember that, Farron. _

Twice, they were forced to turn back because the path ahead of them twisted into water far above both of their heads—the twisted passageways seemed endless and confusing; Lightning had lost all sense of direction when she'd made a run for it after hearing his yell and the subsequent rumbling of stone collapsing that had followed, and she wasn't even sure that she could find a way out even if they _did_ make it to the central cavern. But the running had left little room to talk, as Hope struggled to keep up with her and as she struggled to find a way to get out before enemies that were no doubt still somewhere in the mountain could pinpoint their location. Lightning wasn't sure whether she was supposed to feel glad for that aspect, but it was a doubt she tried to keep tucked away, lest it started eating away at the remaining reserves of strength she had left.

Finally, finally, the path they'd arbitrarily chosen seemed to lead them in a new direction: the path was sloping upwards and it seemed to be drier than what they'd been struggling through; wind pushed past her in sudden spurts and she could feel her clothes beginning to dry, even in the cold night breeze. Slowing down, finding that even in the icy air left in the wake of the thunderstorm, she was breathing hard; her hair was plastered to her scalp with not just rain, but sweat.

Resting her forehead against her wrist for a moment, Lightning tried to catch her breath—the air was fresher here, but her lungs were still screaming for her to slow down and take a moment to properly breathe, the stone dust in the air not helping their current predicament. She tried to strain her ears for the sound of pursuit, but there was none—she heard nothing from the flaming entity that must've been far ahead of them by now, and the only sound that she could pick up was the sound of his—their—footsteps splashing through the puddles that still remained abundant in the damp passageway.

Hope stopped beside her, breathing hard, and she saw him up close for the first time; wanting more than anything to grip his shoulder and rid herself of the thorn that had been increasing in size in her chest ever since the morning she'd woken up under the balmy morning sky, feeling completely and utterly defeated, Lightning found that still, she didn't have words for that... not ones that she could say without breaking down in one form or another. Tentatively meeting his achingly familiar emerald gaze, she found that it was harder to breathe—still—when he was watching her with a scrutinizing look in his eyes. Swallowing again, she forced those thoughts from her mind, trying only to focus on the situation at hand. "Is Snow here?"

He nodded. "Somewhere. I don't know...though." The familiar pang in her chest was back—there was a hitch in his voice and she knew it had nothing to do with the emotional flipside of everything that had happened. _I prom__ised I'd protect you... keep you safe. __Why can't I... _

Opening her mouth to respond, she was cut off by the sound of a distinct shriek, freezing her to the spot; the shuffling of feet on stone was suddenly much louder as new sounds of rumbling came once, twice... again and again, each time closer; no doubt they had attracted some new attention in the area they'd wandered into. Lightning tried to discern exactly in which direction they were coming from, but she couldn't—there were too many that were coming all at once. Rock was pushed aside easily by beige, animalistic arms, wide fingers crushing the rock beneath large limbs like it was nothing more than putty—the glowing eyes under the lion-like mane of hair were fixed on them almost instantly. Blue eyes widening at the sight of three large Meurites making their way towards them, she pushed Hope behind her roughly, shielding him with her left arm even though the soldier inside her knew it wouldn't be enough. "Lightning—" Hope's panicked voice was cut off by her drawing of the omega weapon.

The Meurites in front of her weren't the Cie'th-like ones with Ruin, true, but they were the like the one that had first confronted her in the cliffs outside New Bodhum, the ones that she was sure moved faster than her. Tightening her grip on her gunblade, she tensed as the first one darted forward; she had no time to shout something to him—she would have to hope that he'd understand her intent when she made a move for it.

Running forwards, she caught the first in the arm with the now-electrified gunblade, ducking underneath the arm that flailed wildly in her direction before dropping it to the ground with a Thunder spell. A weaker Fira joined her own as the flame crashed into the wall; flicking a glance back in Hope's direction, she noted the manadrive clutched tight in one of his hands. _Thanks. _There was no time to mutter the one word aloud; claws grabbed in her direction, the multi-jointed fingers driving into the wall where it had missed her. Moving with unnatural speed, a limb found its way into her chest, throwing her backwards like a rag doll.

Landing hard on her back, Lightning wondered for a brief moment why it wasn't on her the moment her body had hit the wet rock, glancing up, she noticed the steel boomerang buried in its back as it dropped on her with a sickening thud. Disgusted, she pushed the feline-like body off of her before whipping around to find that Hope was now utterly defenceless: the remaining dark silhouette was closing in on him and the Watera spell that was all the manadrive could procure did nothing but to extend the amount of time that he had before the Meurite reached him. Pushing her body forwards again, panic gripped her throat when Lightning realized she wasn't going to make it—squeezing the trigger as fast as the mechanism would allow, the bullets didn't stop the Meurite as it leapt for him, several steel projectiles buried in its side. _Maker, no!_

Fire—more than any of them could conjure at this moment in their exhausted state—suddenly illuminated the tiny space in which they were fighting.

The phoenix had returned; spreading its wings until the burning flame could've rivalled the sun, the flaming bird let out one last shriek before folding its wings upon itself, bursting into millions of photons of fire and light. Raising an arm to shield her eyes from the blinding glare, Lightning felt the reformation of a small sphere under her left palm, along with the retraction of the power that the bird had lent her the time it was here.

When it was dark enough for her to open her eyes, she found herself on one knee, looking back onto a passageway that had been scorched dry—there was the distinct taste of things burning in the air and she had to resist the urge to cough. A warm, familiar hand gripped her shoulder; looking up to see that Hope was bent down beside her, concern evident in that viridian gaze.

And that, that warmed her more than anything that had happened so far; it was stupid, and definitely naive, but she clung to his concern like it was a lifeline, one that she wasn't sure she deserved at all. _Maybe, just maybe... _"We should go before any more come... the bird's gone, right?"

Clambering to her feet, she noted the dim, scarlet orb clutched tight in her left hand. "Right," she rasped.

Air was blowing out of the hole the phoenix had blasted into the wall, and through it, she could make out the dark night sky scattered with faint stars. Lights—artificial, too-bright lights—were visible in the distance, combing over the mountainside just above them as Lightning clambered out from the opening that the phoenix's final attack had created, slipping the dim, cool orb into the pack on her left thigh as she did so. When she bent back down to help him through, she noticed with an unfurling dread in her chest that her hands were shaking as they reached back down—as though her fingers themselves weren't sure of the contact they'd been extended to create.

But that first contact, as painful and as doubtful as she was of it, spread unnecessary and unexpected warmth through her tired frame, because his return grip was nothing but steady and confident, gripping her fingers as though nothing had ever happened between them... something that she knew would never be able to be erased.

Crouched against the cold, wind torn night, Lightning met Hope's gaze fully for the first time, finding, to her surprise, no outright anger or pain, but regret and guilt so familiar she might've expected the gaze to be her own. Safe for the moment being, she opened her mouth to try again—she wanted to get rid of his notion that it was somehow _his _fault that things had come to be the way they had, and almost instantly, the consequences and aftereffects of earlier tonight slammed into her chest like a physical blow.

She still hadn't sorted it out for herself yet; in the determination that she'd needed to find Hope and reach him before it was too late, Lightning had had no time to fully chew through the emotional and mental ramifications of what had happened barely three hours ago. She wouldn't have allowed herself to bring it up... if not for the simple fact that the crux of those final moments was also at the heart of what had happened between them.

Gunfire and shouts interrupted what could've been the disintegration of the rest of her self control, as both of them looked around to hear the distinct gunfire in the distance, accompanied by howls of what could only be enemies. "That could be Snow," Hope murmured quietly. "It sounds like soldiers... anyways." Getting to his feet, albeit a little shakily, he pulled her up through the contact of their still-joined fingers. Thin dawn was beginning to stretch its light, carefree fingers through the inky black sky, thinning the cloak of darkness abovehead, and turning the horizon in the distant east a milky shade of pink and orange.

Half-walking, half-stumbling down the rocks that carelessly littered the side of the mountain, her boot brushed against a fragile pink wintergreen, waving in the late-autumn breeze. It was the only one remaining of the clump of wildflowers that grew in the rocky outcropping, the only one that hadn't been dashed to pieces by the storm. As it was, though, it was stripped of half its leaves and the blossoms were exposed to the elements. Lightning found the flower a cruel metaphor for what she was—and felt like—at the moment. _I'm pathetic... I really am. I go about telling myself that I'll do things right this time around, that I won't make the same mistakes over and over... and yet here I am, hoping to the Maker that he won't hate me for the rest of my life because of the shit I put him through. _

Rock slipped underneath her feet, sending slivers of stone tumbling down the side of the still-storm battered mountainside; morning mist clung to the wet rock like cobwebs, and in the brightening glare of dawn, it was awhile before they found the source of the sound. "Oh _yeah_! That's how it's done!" A familiar voice sliced through the damp dewdrops like a blade, and despite the enormity of the situation that was still in front of them, Lightning felt a familiar flicker of annoyance at the exuberant sound. _Snow. _

The blond in question came into view perhaps twenty seconds later; wielding a gun that he was waving jubilantly in the rosy hues of morning, she spotted several soldiers beyond him that were anxiously scouting the mountainside, wary for any other monster that might've come up. The blond brawler turned around the moment Hope picked his way around a fallen boulder, a devilish grin spreading on his face when he realized she was following him. "Hey hey, look who's finally made it back." He wiggled his fingers at her as he stowed away the gun inside his ridiculously worn trench coat that bore more than a few splatters of mud and dirt. "Decided you couldn't live without him, Sis?"

But Lightning didn't have the energy—or inner strength—to rise to his bait today, because Snow's question hammered home a fact that she'd been trying to avoid and run away from the entire time. Biting her bottom lip, she tried to fight the stab of immoral pain in her chest that had been reawakened by the words that hadn't been meant to wound.

_But they're true. Whether I like it... or not. But..._

* * *

***grins stupidly*  
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**But I'm seriously hoping that I did it justice—not too sure if I got the tone of several scenes right, but I tried. n_n Leave a review, pretty please, and let me know how I did? I must scramble off to make sure that Chapter 27 _does_ come out right though; that might take me awhile, but I'm _hop__ing_ to finish it by tomorrow evening if not at the very latest Tuesday morning, so I will see you all then!  
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**Hearts!  
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	27. The Fragments We Hold

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
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**Yes. The chapter lots? of you have been waiting for—it's a bit on the short side, only at about 4,250 words, but honestly, it's enough; there're no major storyline events (unless you count what's coming as one) but this scene was so difficult I could've sworn I was trying to give birth to a pumpkin. ._. And it's funny, cause I knew what was going to happen and almost _exactly_ what was to be said (I had most of the lines worked out in my head already) but that sure as hell didn't make things easier...  
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***dusts off hands* Anyways. Thank you and love go to: LawMan (ahaha... you're hilarious *slides over scene on silver platter*), That One Reviewee (unfortunately, oneshots take me so long to work out it literally takes me months to finish one...), GKMader (haha, yeah, well, it's Snow. He can't resist. ;D), H-thar (you know... I really don't know. Stuff that sounds nice in my head gets put on paper... er, the laptop. But to be honest, I really, really hope you enjoy this chapter), Jack Hargreave (certain birds are very powerful, it seems... *nods*), and KeeepSmiling (well, yeah, they were bound to... eventually)! Thank you guys so much again for all your support; I really couldn't've made it this far without you all.  
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**And to my awesome, beloved LadyAlaska—darlin', you've already seen the chapter in question, but that doesn't mean it ain't 100% dedicated to you nonetheless. I think your reaction to it made me smile for at least 3 or 4 hours straight, and it's only compounded by the fact that Fang can't touch this. At all. *prods her* You jelly yet, Fang?  
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**So I'm scared, like, really, really scared right now, because I'm really _hoping_ that the following chapter is... I don't know... Sounds right? Came out right? I think I'll leave it at enjoy as always.**

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Chapter 27: The Fragments We Hold

Sitting by herself, Lightning had her arms wrapped around her calves as she stared out across the orange streaked, still lake surface. Dappled by the sunset's rays, it was a quiet place that allowed her to think, really think, about what exactly had happened to her in the past two days. Snow had been able to contact the military with his somehow still miraculously working locator once they'd reached the bottom of the mountainside, and they'd agreed on the rendezvous site at an alpine lake about a mile away—she hadn't caught the entire conversation, but from the sounds of it, the commander on the other side of the line was stressed... and clearly aggravated about how the mission had turned out to be.

The lake in question was small, quiet, and secluded—the exact sort of place she needed to think... alone. _I... _From the look Hope had given her, he hadn't wanted her to be by herself, but he couldn't keep a constant eye on her all the time. She'd waved away the queries of Snow and the remaining soldiers, knowing that she couldn't discuss what had happened unless she'd processed it for herself... something that she was so clearly having trouble with right now.

The slow lapping of the water against rocky shores created a peaceful, tranquil rhythm that she could relate to—it was the rhythm that she wanted her heartbeat to maintain, an action she knew just wasn't possible. Burying her forehead against her knees, Lightning dug her nails into her skin, not even sure where to even begin thinking things through for herself. There were just so many things that she _thought_ she'd understood, so many things she'd _thought_ she'd done right, and yet... _Look at where it's __gotten me to. _

Death, understanding... those words, those concepts chased themselves around and around in her mind until she wasn't sure what to make of them anymore—was she really just that useless at comprehending those terms? Death chased her no matter how far she tried to run, and the notion of 'understanding' things was like trying to grasp water with her bare fingers: it was there, it was visible, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't make it tangible enough for her to see the entire truth... until things were too late. _Serah... _

_And Hope_, came a small, timid voice at the back of her head. _He almost died because of you, too. _Moving her hands up to her temples, Lightning wanted to strangle those thoughts not because she didn't want to listen, and not because she wanted to push them away, but because she knew they were the undisputed truth and it would hurt beyond what she was willing to bear right this moment to accept. A pained, frustrated whimper made it past her lips, but there was no one else here to hear it—the setting sun and the gently rocking lake water were her only company.

She hadn't been able to explain her aversion to Hope either; he'd reached out to her more than once, clearly wanting to talk, but Lightning found herself reluctant to even look at him in the eye, afraid of what was going to happen. _I can't even stand to be near him, without... _She hadn't been able to ignore the shadowed pain in his eyes when she'd silently pushed him away, afraid of what talking would leave her—a broken, useless shell that she didn't want him to see anymore. _And this... this is exactly why he deserves someone so much better than me... because I'm selfish enough to run away when things hurt and not consider what it'll do to someone else. _

But running away was the only thing she could do—afraid of what had happened between them and even more afraid of what _would_ happen because of her, he was better off without her; a fact that no matter how painful, she'd come to accept. Her foolish, pathetically needy desires might've made themselves known in the weeks without him, but sometime between running to catch his faltering life with her own and fighting to keep him safe, Lightning had realized that it wasn't _her _happiness that mattered: it was his. She was painfully aware of the time he'd spent with her, trying to rebuild the confidence from a person that no longer had any, and all she had to thank him for it was to argue with him whenever their views differed.

_That's why... That's why I'm the most selfish person I know. _

The prickling in her eyes and the burning at the back of her throat was back... but since there was no one here to see it this time, she didn't make a move to stop it, letting the sense of defeated, empty guilt consume her. _He's not safe yet_, warned the small voice in the back of her head. "I know that," she muttered quietly, pushing out the syllables between painful thistles. _But I'll do everything to make sure that he is. And then... _

The crackling of a branch breaking beneath someone's foot behind her caught her attention.

* * *

Hope winced when the twig snapped under his weight. _Way to go, _he thought bitterly.

But since she knew he was here already... there was no point in trying to hide his presence anymore. He didn't want to confront her—far from it—but he _did _want to talk; Lightning had insisted on avoiding him almost from the moment they'd found Snow, before finally slipping off by herself when there was no one else to keep an eye on her. _This is exactly what I _don't_ want... She's going to guilt herself into thinking that all of this is her fault... or something like that. _And what aggravated him was that she was probably doing exactly that, convincing herself that they were better off without her... or something equally as ridiculous. _Light, it's not your fault. _That was what he _wanted_ to tell her, but whether she would listen was a different matter altogether.

The sun had almost completely set now, leaving the lake streaked in inky colours of indigo and black, touched with silver highlights of the moon that was just rising. Gravel crunched under his foot as he cautiously made his way down to the lakeshore, but she didn't make any motion to move away from him, sitting there like a statue carved of stone. "Light?" Hope swallowed when he heard his own voice; _he _could hear the demure fear in it that was definitely not the way to go about convincing her of something—hating himself for it, he knew her well enough to know that she would take it the wrong way.

"Leave me alone," came the quiet mutter as she turned her head away from his direction; the command wasn't as potent as it could've been, because he heard the catch in the last syllable. Carefully disobeying the order, Hope settled himself beside her, feeling slightly more confident when she didn't move away from him the moment he did.

Their arms were barely touching, but he could feel her rapid heartbeat under her skin. "You've been alone enough," he murmured quietly, hoping that the words wouldn't offend her. But if they did, she didn't show it; he heard a small, pained sigh escape her before her left hand gripped at the smooth pebbles beneath them, turning her knuckles white in the faint moonlight. "Look," he tried again. "What's wrong?" _Why are you avoiding me? _

"Everything." Her voice was muffled by the fact that she had buried her face against her knees, but Hope heard the pain in the answer clearly enough. _At least... she isn't ignoring me. _That thought was hardly encouraging, because Lightning was employing the tone she'd often used to denote "end of discussion"; but he wasn't going to give in so easily to that—he _knew_ he needed to know what exactly was bothering her, and he knew he needed to know why she was acting like this. _I though__t... I thought you _wanted_ t__o be with me... _

"Was it something I did?" He sounded scared, even to himself, but those words caused an outcome he couldn't have predicted would come from such a simple sentence, because Lightning whipped up her head to stare at him with aggravated, pained blue eyes framed with still-somewhat tangled pink hair that only added to the fact that she was _not_ okay.

"No!" she hissed almost instantly—she moved the next moment; Lightning was on her feet and making a run back to the trees before he could open his mouth. Scrambling up after her, Hope knew he had to stop her before she made it there... because if she ran off now, it would take an inordinate amount of time to find her again and who knew what her self deprecating way of thinking would've done to her then?

Chasing after her, Hope hooked his fingers around her arm before she could disappear into the darkness of the trees; struggling to hold her back, for the first time, he had to appreciate how strong she was. She wasn't even fighting to prise his hand off of her arm, but she was still steadily winning against him; finally, though, he caught her other shoulder with his free hand to pin her against one of the boulders that littered the shoreline, preventing her from trying to run off again. Lightning stopped fighting under his grip when she seemed to realize that he wasn't going to give up so easily, but she didn't relax under his grip, staring up at him with the same defeated, guilty look that she'd had in her eyes all too often. "What's wrong?" he repeated quietly, wanting more than ever to reach out to her but afraid that in doing so, he'd cross some invisible line and send her straight into some form of hysteria. _Was__ it really something I did? _

Something flickered in her expression; whether it was because the second repetition of the question was quieter, or because she knew she simply wasn't going to worm her way out of this with anything less than an explanation, Hope felt her relax slightly, leaning forward a little so that her bangs obscured most of what he could see of her face. "I'm sorry," she finally whispered. "All of this... it's my fault, because I—"

"What?" _Please don't tell me you're really thinking like this... _

"You heard me." A hint of her old anger was making its way into her tone, but whether it was directed at him, or at herself, Hope didn't know. "If I wasn't so..." she paused, pulling in a pained breath before continuing. "If I wasn't so _stupid_... none of this would've happened."

He shifted his grip on her, knowing—and yet not knowing—what she was trying to say; Lightning was staring up at him with that same pained expression on her face, as though she didn't want to continue this particular conversation and wanted nothing more than to run away from him. "I don't understand," he rasped quietly. _And I don't... I thought all of this was _my _fault._

"That's _exactly _why this is my fault!" she hissed suddenly, the ferocity in her tone scaring him enough to let go of her. "Don't you see, Hope? It's because I didn't understand you that all of this happened. All this time, I've been asking myself... why the hell would we have to have argued? It's because I didn't understand, because I was so stupidly _selfish_!" she spat out, intoning the words like they were acid that burnt her throat—and maybe they were, because through the caustic syllables, he could hear genuine pain behind it.

"Lightning." He wanted to shout back at her that it _wasn't_ her fault, but he knew—now—that shouting with her wasn't going to get them anywhere. Instead, Hope forced himself to reign in his emotions, his desperation to let her know that things weren't as she saw them, and to focus only on how to get what he wanted to say to her across in a way she could accept. Catching her hands that had balled into fists at her side, he held them until her fingers relaxed enough to let him slip his own between them. "You're not selfish," he began quietly. _Maker, please let this be the right thing to say. _"You never were."

She bowed her head, tilting it slightly to the side as she looked away from him. "That's not true," she whispered. "I'm the most selfish person I know. Hope, you did _everything_ you could when _I _was in pain... but when _you _needed it, all I could do was run away because it hurt too much... because I was scared of what might've happened..." Lightning trailed off, biting down on her bottom lip as her fingers tightened around his.

"But I _don't_ blame you," he argued, confused. "Is that what you were scared of? Because you thought I'd be angry at you for what happened? Because I'm not..." _Because it's just as much my fault as it is yours. _

She blinked up at him then, the expression in her eyes almost too easy to read. _You want to believe it... but you know, or you think you know, that that's what I would tell you no matter what. _"Like all the shit I've put you through doesn't matter, right?" she asked quietly, sarcasm decorating the familiar tones even though her voice was barely louder than a whisper, before a pained snort escaped her lips. "Yeah, okay."

Starting to feel frustrated, Hope blinked, trying to convey the agonizing desire for her to understand before she could blame herself—and second guess him—further. "Like you haven't gone through hell either," he countered, taking in the new scars drawn across her arm and calf. In the darkness of the mountain, he hadn't noticed them, but here, softly illuminated by the moon's pearly glow, he could see them quite easily, new skin still holding a baby-pink to where they'd stretched across barely-healed wounds.

She was silent for a long time; whether it was because she'd finally accepted his words for what they were, or whether it was because she was trying to figure out a way to argue with him again, Hope couldn't tell. As the seconds stretched into minutes, he wondered whether standing here was going to be the best place for them; a cold breeze was starting to blow, coming off the water with vindictive icy fingers and he resisted the urge to draw her closer in something that would at least preserve _some_ of their conjoined body heat.

It was then he realized she was crying.

Silently, for sure, but the tear tracks were almost too easy to see in the moonlight that was reflected off of the suddenly restless waves; Hope felt something close its iron fist around his heart when he realized that she wasn't making any effort to hide them from him. _Light..._ It hurt, because he knew that she often did whatever she could to hide her pain from him whenever something brought it up; to have her openly show it to him made him realize just how far she'd pushed herself in the time they'd been apart.

Letting go of her hands to release her from the awkward position she'd remained in after he'd pinned her against the rock, he tentatively drew his arms around her waist, unsure of how she would react, but not knowing any other way to convince her that he _didn't _blame her, that he _wasn't _angry at her. _I could never hate you... because of everything you've taught me_, _because of everything you've done to make sure I'm still standing here. _To his surprise, she returned it, gently, after a few moments of hesitation, leaning her forehead against his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she whispered again.

"For the last time," he chuckled softly, "it's not your fault. It was a stupid thing to argue about to begin with, so please don't hate yourself for what happened. I'm sorry too." She pulled back at that; wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, Hope noticed that she looked troubled again. _Maker, please don't tell me I said the wrong thing again... _

"But that's just it," Lightning murmured quietly. "I kept meeting people that were telling me the same thing you did... that we needed to understand each other. That wars aren't won by fighting... I didn't understand," she continued, looking out across the silver-dappled lake surface. "Because the only thing I knew how to do was fight... the only way I knew how to keep going was to keep fighting, so when they sprung something like 'we need to understand each other' on me, I wanted to deny it right away. But I can't," she rectified, volume of her voice dropping. "Because it's been told to me so many times... I have to wonder if I'm wrong. And maybe I was," she finally admitted, giving a soft sigh.

Hope took a step closer to her, reaching for her fingers again as a cold gust of wind blew off the water's edge, tugging at pink locks of hair twisted over her left shoulder. "So they finally changed your mind?" A tenebrous sort of hope was making its way upwards in his chest—the thought that she might finally understand proved to be more encouraging than if he'd been given a thousand manadrives.

The ghost of a smile quirked at the corners of her lips. "Something like that."

He closed the distance between them, stopping when he stood in front of her again. "So what happened to you?" Now that they'd made it over that particular hurdle, he'd forgotten just how easy it was to talk to her when she wasn't trying to blame herself for something that honestly hadn't been her fault and when she wasn't trying to push everyone else she didn't want to open up to away. Painstakingly, he knew it wasn't her fault either: Lightning had been so used to blowing past life on autopilot, so used to pushing away everyone that tried to get her to open up that she hadn't known how to deal with everything when something happened to bring that way of living to a grinding halt.

"It's a long story," she remarked, arching an eyebrow at him.

A small smile was spreading across his face; the cold wind that was being blown off the water's surface suddenly seemed immaterial as he stared down at her. Now that he was _here_, it was hard to feel intimidated by the light threat when he wanted nothing else other than to live in this particular moment forever. "Well... we _do_ have all night."

* * *

The warm weight resting against his shoulder couldn't have made him feel lighter, fingers intertwined in a way he wouldn't have thought possible just a few days ago; not just because he knew who it was, but because he knew that the fears he'd been unconsciously harbouring ever since he'd had those particular nightmares were assuaged... in some form or another. Like the reassurance he'd tried to give himself when they came, Hope found himself thinking back to the thought that always crossed his mind whenever things like that threaded through his dreams. _"It's okay...once I realize she's there."_

And it _was_ okay...now that she _was_ here. Hope found it almost unnerving easy to accept the things she'd told him, not just because of everything that had happened to her, and the fact that he didn't believe that she would keep something _that _big from him, but also because it tied in so well with what _he'd_ gone through—not that those particular dangers meant anything to him just now. They could've been a million years away, something that was from a far distant past that would never touch him... _I just don't want this moment to end here. _

"Hey... Hope?" The question was quiet and demure—a tone he often associated with the things _he _asked _her_, not the other way around. Looking around, Hope found Lightning staring down at their conjoined fingers, with a familiar troubled expression shadowing her gaze. Not waiting for him to give a response, she ploughed on. "As things stand... do you really think... we understood each other?"

_Where did that come from? _He swallowed, knowing it was a question he'd often asked himself in the time that they'd been apart. But Hope was as sure of the answer as he had been when he'd finally realized the truth on that dewy morning that felt like lifetimes ago, as sure of the answer as he knew he would ever be. "Yes," he replied quietly. "I think so." He hated himself for the childish, almost pleading, tone that entered his voice next; not out of fear of his own answer or of his own certainty, but out of the fear that she might not have felt the same way. "Don't you?"

He held her teal gaze as she looked upwards for perhaps a fraction of a heartbeat. "I _want_ to think so," she admitted softly. "But... it's just, would we have argued if we had?"

Hope bit the inside of his lip; it was the same question he'd asked himself, over and over. _If we really understood each other, wouldn't we have known—understood—what the other was thinking, back then?_ "I don't know," he replied—she deserved the honest truth, especially since it was a question that so concerned the very crux of what was happening. "But what I do know is that it still feels right...no matter what's happened. Remember?" Giving a soft snort at the memory, Lightning drew herself to her feet, pulling him up along with her.

"I remember," she conceded. "I'd have to be as dense as Snow to forget."

Chuckling softly, Hope followed her as she made for the trees, not wanting their brief time-out from reality to end just yet. Stopping her as she reached the gnarled trunk of a pine, touched to black in the darkness of the night, she flicked her gaze back curiously he gently gripped her shoulder, preventing her from moving forwards. "Light?" he breathed quietly, carefully not loosening his hold on her, "please don't run off on me again." It was the one thing he'd been unconsciously longing for a reassurance the entire time—Hope wasn't sure that he would be able to deal with the pain of separation if she stormed off again during an argument they would inevitably have somewhere down the line; it was selfish, he knew that, but it was just like she'd once said: _"I can't help how I feel."_

A rueful smile twitched at the corner of her mouth. "Sorry."

Not wanting to hesitate anymore, he pulled her towards him, their lips meeting in a tentative, searching, almost _shy _contact. Lightning was startled at first; growing bolder when he realized that she wasn't making a move to push him away nor did she seem desperate to end the contact between them, he could feel the small smile beginning to pull at the corners of his lips. _You have no idea how much I've missed this. _Hooking her fingers into the collar of his shirt, it was like she was scared that he would think about moving away... as though something so stupid and ridiculous would cross his mind in the moment that he wanted back the moment he realized she was gone. She drew back after a few moments, steadily meeting his gaze—Hope noticed with an increasing relief that her own aquamarine gaze was devoid of the pain that he'd seen in them just over an hour ago—before he pulled her back into the embrace.

The next kiss was more passionate, as he threaded his fingers through the tangled locks of cherry-coloured hair draped over her left shoulder; gently brushing her neck as her fingers gripped his upper arm, Hope felt the warmth seize something in the vicinity of his heart when she moaned softly. "I've really missed you, Light," he murmured against her.

He could feel her smile slightly against the change in pressure. "Me too."

* * *

**So I'm totally in love with Hope at the moment. *nods eagerly*  
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**Anyways... wow, I've been working on this chapter since well, Saturday evening, and here's to hoping I got it right. *shifty eyes* I'm hoping I did, anyways, because I think I'm going to hide under my pillow for the rest of the evening now. ._. I can literally feel my heartbeat—that's how nervous I am about how this chapter came out.  
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**So, uh, Chapter 28? I'm hoping to finish most of it by tomorrow; it probably won't be up before sometime Wednesday though. Anyways, leave a review? (I'm still honestly so scared that I think I could cry) I'd love to hear comments/critiques/squeals, whatever the hell this chapter elicited from y'all...  
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**Hearts!  
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	28. Beneath Transcendent Wings

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_! **

**You have no idea how much the love for Chapter 28 has effected me; I swear to who-knows-what that I felt so happy to be getting that particular chapter right. n_n So I'm trying real hard to keep that going—honestly, there're some heavy things in this chapter too, and I'm hoping I got _that _down as well.  
**

**Thanks and love go to: LawMan (you know... I wasn't even thinking about that scene when I wrote Chapter 28, it totally slipped my mind as I was writing; Yuna and Tidus creep me out for some reason though, and I'm a diehard Rikku fan), That One Reviewee (haha, uhm, I said so? I just think I'm terrible at it and I cringe to think of future scenes to be quite honest), H-thar (man, creepy crawlies ruining the moment, though I think Snow would at least have the common sense to _not_ go about following Hope/Light... just because he knows she'll kill him), and GKMader (Yeah, it's Lightning. What can I say? And yeah... that emotional tension was urgh... *facepalm* though I did do it to myself this chapter too ._.)  
**

**But I'm pretty stoked; Square finally decided to stop trolling and straight up announce that their new little "Lightning Saga" is gonna be a game. Yeah, I figured Square, now let's roll it out so I can play it. (For those of you who didn't know yet, here's their new teaser site: finalfantasy13game(insert the obvious that I cannot put, begins with -dot-)/astormgathers/) Seriously, about time. -.-  
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**Anyways. Enjoy as always!**

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Chapter 28: Beneath Transcendent Wings

Lying on her side, Lightning stared through the darkness, heartbeat racing, but for completely different reasons than the ones she would've thought. _I… _She hadn't allowed herself to completely process what had happened barely half an hour ago, but there was a part of her that told her she didn't need to: it spoke for itself, in more ways than one.

She could accept that.

But the breathlessness of that moment hadn't quite left her, and now that he wasn't in her reach, it was like some part of her had been torn away; it was stupid—she _felt_ stupid— and it was definitely reminiscent of behaviour she always associated with Serah. _I must've fallen really far if I feel like I'm on Serah's level. _But for some reason, that thought didn't bother her as much as she thought it would—and _that _disturbed her.

_Why not? _Brushing the back of her hand against her mouth, she tried to mull through why that would be, why she _wasn't _as disturbed as she thought she would be. _Haven't I always told myself I'm not supposed to rely on other people? _But that thought wasn't true, either, because she'd been relying on him, unconsciously or not, for longer than she could remember. Even when she'd forced them apart, there was a part of her that hated herself for it—selfishly—because she _knew_ that she wouldn't have been struggling through her days like a marionette on strings if he'd been there. _I'm pathetic. _

Strangely enough, though, Lightning realized she could _accept _that sense of the word 'pathetic'; maybe because the feelings in question had been some integral part of her for so long that she couldn't find a way to disassociate herself from it anymore, or maybe it was just some part of her she'd never gotten around to acknowledging. It was there, whether she liked it or not; there was a part of her that _needed_ him, whether she liked it or not, and she had a feeling that Hope would've appreciated it if she came to accept that sooner than later.

Snorting inwardly, Lightning found herself staring at the clear night sky, awash with a swathe of stars that glittered like cold fire above her head. _Serah… Is this what you wanted? _Inwardly, she knew the answer was 'yes'; her sister had been pushing her to open up to other people for as long as she could remember—shutting everyone out and blowing past them like they didn't exist was something Serah had sat by and watched, unable to change.

It was too late to change now—her sister would never be truly _here_ to see what exactly, Hope had changed about her; just another regret that she would have to shelve and hopefully learn to live with. _But I can change… now, so that that never happens again, right? _ She wanted to believe that, she really did—and the funny thing was, she felt like it _could _happen when she was with him, like the problems and the complications that had thrown them all into this mess weren't beyond her—their—capabilities of fixing, that there _was_ a way to keep going. _He makes me believe that we can get through all of this… no matter what._

* * *

The cold autumn wind tugged at her hair as Lightning stared up at the clear azure sky, waiting for the sign of the hovercraft that was supposed to be picking them up. Shooting a caustic glance at Snow, who was carefully standing several feet away from her and Hope, whistling absent-mindedly to himself, she couldn't keep the barb out of her voice. "Are you _sure _that you didn't tell them we were somewhere else?"

Snow looked wounded. "Sis, you heard me right… I _did_," he whined, looking like a lost child. "Just because you've sorted things out with, ahem, _Hope_, doesn't mean you get to be angry at _me_." Despite his tone, he grinned at her under his gloved hand; she had a feeling that their absences the previous night hadn't escaped him… and if she knew Snow well enough, there would be a jibe coming sooner rather than later.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she ignored him, finding it hard to rise to the subtle challenge when it was the truth—she'd forgotten how _normal_ Hope made her feel; with him, the desolate emptiness that flared all too often when he _wasn't_ there was muted… muted in a way that unless someone brought it up, she wouldn't have to think about it. _And now that he's here… I won't make those stupid mistakes again, right?_

But as the minutes ticked by in silence, even Snow was starting to look a little worried—the sky was carefully devoid of anything that would've signalled a military aircraft, and she'd just been about to suggest that they moved somewhere else where it would've been easier to see them when she caught the scent of smoke. It was subtle, carried by the crisp autumn breeze, but it was definitely there; she knew a fire when the warning signs were all too clear—and the smoke was already too thick for it to be some accident. Turning to look behind them into the dark trees, blue eyes widened at the sight of the thin tendrils of dark fumes making their way into the sky. "What the—"

Not stopping to think about it, Lightning pushed her body into a sprint in the direction back up the mountain, flicking her gaze back to look at Hope, who was staring at the flames with an odd sort of scrutiny on his face. "What are you waiting for?" she screeched, "_Run!"_

Scrambling up the rough stone, the smoke was becoming increasingly thick, even though they were getting higher. _Shit—smoke rises._ But they couldn't go back down, because through the smoke layer that was condensing like some gritty fog, she could see the bright flickers of orange flame that were already beginning to consume the forest that they'd just left. Holding an arm over her mouth and nose, Lightning reached back down to haul Hope over the next ledge; he was coughing too, and no amount of water at this point would quench the fire that had already been started.

Snow was further down—with one or two soldiers taking up the rear that she couldn't quite make out. She could hear the sound of gunfire; as though firing a couple of shots would really take down whoever had started the flames that were quickly turning into a blazing inferno. Lightning was quite sure that no one in their general party would've been stupid enough to set fire to the entire forest… which left a couple of possibilities; one in particular stood out sharply in her mind. But there was no time to further expand on her theory; pulling up Hope behind her, she tried to gauge how much further they would have to go before they were out of reach of the flames.

Several species of scrubbly plants grew in the lower ranges of the mountain—they would burn easily enough, especially considering how large the fire had grown in the perhaps five to ten minutes in which they'd been madly scrambling for their lives; Lightning knew they would have to surpass those plants by a good twenty to thirty feet to ensure that the flame couldn't reach them on bare rock, but to accomplish _that_, they would have to climb at least another hundred feet or so. It wouldn't too much of a problem for _her_, though the air was quickly becoming tainted with smoke, but she was worried about everyone else, Hope in particular; the smoke was rising copiously and if they didn't clear the range of the gritty, burning air soon, asphyxiation was inevitable.

Struggling to get a good grip on the flaky, layered stone, she had to appreciate how much easier it was to go _down_ the bare rock rather than up; she was constantly gripping at ledges to haul herself up the almost non-existent path, and between that and continuously checking on Hope to make sure he was still just behind her, she wasn't setting a very fast pace at all.

"Light," came the hoarse rasp somewhere behind her. "Are we safe yet?" She could hear the effort in his voice as he struggled to keep up with her, but it was a few moments before she was able to accurately judge how much further they needed to go—Lightning could hear Snow's yell of something about fifteen feet down, but it wasn't _him_ she was worried about.

"Almost." Her voice was a croak strained by the effort required to speak in something louder than a whisper; they weren't, at any rate, but there was no way she was going to worry him about that now. There was a protruding ledge she suspected would have to do for the moment being—they were far enough above the flora to ensure that none of them would actually get burnt by something; not far enough for her taste, but Lightning suspected that they wouldn't be able to go much further—healing wounds and exhaustion were still fresh from the day before and none of them were in any condition for a serious fight just now.

Pushing Hope up ahead of her, he clambered onto the ledge first, reaching a hand down to her; fingers soot streaked and sweaty, she took it, allowing him to pull her up. Here, the air was somewhat clearer—above the tree line, there was nothing to block the autumn wind from cutting into their skin… but it was better than dying of suffocation.

Snow was still scrambling up the rocky mountain path, taking a final running leap for the ledge when he was close enough, hooking his fingers into the rough stone to haul himself up with a grunt; the remaining soldiers were quick to follow. Casting a cursory glance over them, reassured that everyone was at least breathing alright, Lightning gazed upwards. They weren't far from a smaller peak—one that she could reach in a matter of minutes, and being up higher would allow her to see further. Using the rock as leverage, she hoisted herself up onto the next one.

A timid tug at her cape stopped her. "Where are you going?" Looking down, not feeling that surprised that Hope had stopped her, she gently pulled the slightly torn cloth from his grip.

"I'm just going to take a look around." _Please don't insist on going with me. _

But it was tantamount to the fact that she knew him too well, because his next question was exactly that. She was about to refuse—there wasn't a good reason for both of them to be going, before Lightning caught the pained look on his face: it was one she could relate to, as embarrassing as that was; now that he was within her reach again, she didn't want to let him out of her sight lest something happened to him the moment she did. _Can I really blame him for feeling the same way? _She had to admit it spread unexpected warmth through her shivering frame to know that he didn't want to leave her alone; childish, maybe, but it was genuine and she could admit that she understood it, perhaps more than he knew. "Fine."

Ignoring Snow's none-too-discreet cough, she tried to move quickly without dislodging too many of the rocks underfoot—the stone here was still damp from the rain that had fallen in the past two days and a careless step could easily send one of them plummeting down the mountainside.

Pausing at the boulder that marked the crest of the small peak, Lightning looked out over the forest they'd just run from; the smoke cover was still thick, and the forest was still burning—whatever had set in on fire though, of which she had a shrewd idea who, hadn't emerged from the burning trees. _Maybe they actually think they got us? _But that wasn't right, because she was willing to bet that in their minds, a collapsing mountain was much more deadly than a forest fire that hadn't even escaped her notice. _So who gave us away? _

She couldn't see how Arturo would've figured out they survived—and had enough time to send _another_ attacking force after them in the short time span that was all she could call a brief break from reality. Resting the knuckles of her right hand against her mouth, Lightning tried to think it through. _So what the hell gave us away? _Had it been the call that Snow had sent yesterday? But the military transmitters were supposed to be encrypted lines… and from what Hope had told her, if the Meurites had to resort to stealing weapons meant to be recycled, they certainly wouldn't have had the technology to break an encryption on a line. Sure, from the potential that they all housed, their general location would've been broadcast to any sensitive Meurite in the area, but there were so many places they honestly could've been—not that the terrain itself was generous to begin with—she couldn't see how they'd pinpointed their location so exactly.

A small shake to her shoulder distracted her from the dark theories that she was trying to contemplate. "What?" Turning her head around, Lightning saw, indeed, _what. _The wreck of a burning hoverplane was visible in the distance, the smoke plume from the fire that was slowly consuming the metal aircraft on one of the peaks opposite visible even from here. "That does it," she hissed quietly. "Something's up."

Hope turned to her, looking confused for a few heartbeats, before she saw him catch up to her thoughts. "You think so? Who?"

"I'm not sure," she clarified; trying to reign in the raging thoughts, Lightning combed through her mental list of the possible people that could have—and _would_ have—given them away. "But this isn't…" _I know it. _Muttering a curse under her breath, she tried to focus on what was at hand, not on what might've happened to bring them to this situation. The grumble of thunder in the distance brought her out of her thoughts—masses of dark grey were gathering on the western horizon again, and from the looks of the wind it wouldn't take long for that thundercloud to reach them.

_But there's nothing I can do about it now. _The only thing she _was_ able to do was to wait out the storm, and then sneak back down to the forest to hopefully figure out what'd started it. As if to highlight those thoughts, the first faint flecks of rain dripped down onto her skin; the wind-torn clouds quickly pushing away the periwinkle sky of autumn that had been clear not too long ago.

* * *

The woodsy, acrid smell of burnt trees that had been smouldered under sporadic rain was heavy in the remnants of the forest as Lightning carefully skirted around a fallen tree, its trunk charred black by the blazing inferno that had only been quelled by the thunderstorm; it was still drizzling, but that wasn't going to stop her now. Reassured and feeling somewhat gratified that she could hear Hope's familiar footsteps just behind her, Lightning found that she could concentrate on the task at hand with blissful ease.

_Stop,_ she chastised herself. Now was_ not _the time to be getting distracted… she was supposed to know that! Snow picked through the scorched lumps of dead ferns with a stick he'd found lying some feet away; she hadn't had a good reason to stop him from poking into every single burnt stump they'd passed.

They'd left the remaining soldiers with the only locator that still worked back at the mountaintop—she'd ordered them to continue trying to contact Eden with _some_ hope of another hovercraft. "Don't you think you should've brought those guys along, Sis?" Snow's question sounded from somewhere behind her back. "I mean, if we're gonna look for stuff, they could at least help."

The truth was, she had no idea who to trust anymore… besides the obvious people around her. _Maybe I'm being suspicious. But there's no way I'm taking risks now. _She was no closer to figuring out who might've given them away than she had been two hours ago, but with Snow—who trusted _everyone_ further than he could throw them—and the remaining soldiers in the cave that they'd taken shelter in, it was hard to carry on a private conversation with Hope, who would at least have had the tact to keep his mouth shut when things came down to it.

As things were, Lightning felt better—emotionally—than she had for weeks; for the first time in a very long time, she had more than adequate control on her sense of reality: she found that she could concentrate on things at hand without thinking about the fears and doubts that they always carried. _And I know… it's because of him. _Hope had reassured her the previous night in a way she hadn't thought possible… _He made me believe that we could actually make it through all of this. _Everything that had happened hadn't felt so overwhelming, so utterly beyond what she could comprehend, when she'd repeated everything that had happened to her to him, and knowing—now—more about their enemies than ever, Lightning had actually considered the brief possibility that they could _win. _

It wasn't the same as repeatedly telling herself she _had_ to win, because that was just reinforcing a thought she couldn't allow changing otherwise. _But I think… I think I understand things a little better now. _

"Hey." A small tug at her arm made her look around; Hope was bent over a fallen log, examining what was on the other side of it. "Look at this." Making her way over to him, carefully picking her way around the clumps of ash and burnt debris as she did so, she saw what he was looking at in a matter of seconds. _Footprints. So someone _did _set the fire on purpose. But for what?_ _To kill us? _She doubted it—they would've—or should've—known that _someone_ would spot the fire before they'd gotten trapped in it.

Biting her bottom lip, she tried to figure out the way the trail led—she could see several splayed out in the now-sparse forest, down a small incline before vanishing into the rest of the skeletal trees. The immediate instinct to follow them was stopped by her newest mentality, as she stared at the tracks in front of them. _What if it's a trap?_ She could imagine it—blindly following the trail so carefully laid out so that they'd find it, they could all walk into something that had been set up for them.

"It doesn't really matter if it is," came the quiet murmur beside her. Blinking up in surprise, Lightning hadn't realized she'd said those particular words out loud. Hope was staring at the same thing she was, but with a different look on his face. "Light, they already know we're here. It's not like they set it up hoping we'd come back… or something."

Looking up at him, finding, to her surprise, that a dry smile was twitching at the corners of her lips, she let out a quiet snort before cuffing him lightly on the head. "You're right. When did you learn _that_?"

She heard his quiet chuckle as she turned away to find Snow before the big blond wandered too far away from them. "I had a good teacher."

* * *

The still water of the lake lapped at the gravelly shores stained black with smoke and soot—it was the only thing that remained unchanged by the fire that had ravaged through the pine forest, though the particulates that swirled in the water were grey, rather than the clear, reflective surface that she'd seen just yesterday. Snow cracked his knuckles behind her. "So this is it." He scratched his stubbly chin as he mused, looking around the still pool of water. "Nothing interesting around here."

_So why make us come? _There had to be a purpose behind it all—she didn't believe that their enemies would leave such an easy trail to follow with no reason. _We've been strung along like puppets this entire time… Every single time, things happened because they forced them to. Why should it be different now? _Lightning felt the fingers of her left hand beginning to be clenched into a fist; her omega weapon was already drawn, but there was nothing to slash it with—their enemy lay beyond what she could reach at this moment.

So when Hope laid a hand on her shoulder, she was more than grateful for the steadying contact: Lightning could feel her breathing escalating the more she thought about it, the encircling danger that she somehow knew was coming… somewhere. A soft splash behind her caught her attention; whipping around to glance at Snow, who'd raised his palms in a motion of _'It wasn't me' _, she knew it wasn't Hope either—he was standing right beside her. _So who the fuck—_

She had her answer within heartbeats.

Dark ripples were beginning to appear on the mirror-smooth surface of the still lake; ripples that just couldn't be natural. A soft _crunch crunch_ behind her told Lightning that Snow was approaching; out of the corner of her eye, she saw him draw level with her, fists raised in his posture of attack. She felt Hope tense beside her, putting his hand into the sling in which he carried his weapon. _Calm down,_ she willed herself—Lightning could see that her fingers were trembling and she clenched them tight around the handle of her gunblade.

Reptilian wings folded into existence as water droplets sprayed in graceful arcs across the disturbed surface of the water; her body knew who it was before her mind had completely processed the appearance—she put herself between the figure that was appearing on the lake's surface and Hope, gunblade held aloft in attack position. "Light, who—"

But it wasn't him. It was his _silhouette, _his _image_, but Lightning could tell it wasn't him. Like the vision of Serah that had appeared in her dream, the Meurite in front of her was much, much more than a hazy image, but less than truly flesh and bone. _What the… _But when it spoke, she knew it was his voice… that he was somewhere, biding his time—and now that she actually had Hope _here_ to protect, she knew she couldn't let it get to Hope.

"So you survived." The tones were as silky as ever, and Lightning tried not to let it get to her. "I suppose I'm supposed to congratulate you, but it really throws a wrench into my plans, you know?"

"Sis, who's this?" Snow's growl was just beside her as she heard him clench his hands into the leather of his gloves. "Not a friend of yours, right?"

She shook her head once. "No," she hissed quietly. "He's the one in charge of all this." Raising her gunblade so that it pointed directly at the image's forehead, her soldier senses were screaming at her to pull the trigger; but somehow, Lightning knew it wouldn't do anything. The vision in front of her was less than flesh—a projection of a consciousness that nothing physical would harm.

"But I _could_ be your friend. In exchange for cooperation… I told you, you could have your sister back. Isn't it your fault she died in the first place? This is your chance to make things right."

The words, though she wasn't unprepared for them, clawed at every single doubt she'd ever harboured—and as much as she would've liked to tell herself not to listen, he'd somehow found out the one thing that always came back to her whenever she tried to think past it: it was her fault.

In that instant, everything that had felt right so far, every aspect of control over her emotions that Hope had managed to give back to her snapped, like it was a string that had been stretched too tightly between two fingers, and would have to have been cut. She could feel the familiar rush of empty guilt rising in her chest—and what Lightning couldn't deny was that it was the one thing she wanted… and knew she couldn't have, no matter how hard she fought to protect, no matter how many years she struggled on with her life.

Just like before, there was a part of her—the part of her that was still miraculously _thinking_—that knew it was a lie, that nothing could bring back the dead. But just like before, the dark hope in front of her tugged and twisted at the emotions she was struggling to keep under control, something that with _him_ had been a lot easier to do this time around… but what Hope couldn't do was make her forget her past, however right things might've felt when she was with him. Lightning wanted to move her hands over her ears, but her body wouldn't react to the commands her mind was giving it anymore. The voice continued. "It's the thing you want most, isn't it?"

_No!_ That was what she wanted to shout, what the rationally thinking part of her wanted to screech—but that part of her couldn't win against the next words. _I can give it to you. _Lightning was unaware that she'd sunk to her knees until she felt the pressure on her upper arms, trying to pull her back up. "Light!"

Hope's panicked voice sounded a million miles away.

What she couldn't control was the shaking of her hands, and even though Hope's grip on her was tight, she couldn't relax against it. _Don't you want your sister back? _The simple question plagued her like a deadly illness, consuming the stability she—and Hope—had worked so hard for her to regain, instilling that same sense of desolate pain and fear that she was so familiar with, bringing back the memories she wanted nothing else but to run away from. "Stop it," she whimpered, past caring about the pain in her voice.

The grip on her upper arms was tightening. "Light, please don't listen; it wasn't your fault!" But whether it was because she knew it _was_, or whether because she was stupid—and desperate—enough to believe it, Lightning didn't know. The will to fight evaporating on the spot, she was hardly aware of what was happening when the rune circle appeared beneath their feet.

_Serah… I'm sorry._

* * *

Hope found himself blinking his eyes open to gloom that he wasn't used to—the air here was dense, but not in a way that the forest fire had been: it was dense like it was weighed down by heat waves. The rock underneath him was warm—too warm to have simply been heated by the late autumn sunlight. _Where…_

Glancing around, the only thing he could make out in the immediate area around him was Lightning, who was lying on her side, one hand still clenched so tightly around her omega weapon that the skin around her fingernails was white. "Light!" Scrambling over to her and bringing her to lean against his upper arm, it was then he noticed how heavily she was breathing. "Hey… "

Remembering the words that had been repeated to them by the lakeside, Hope bit his lip when he recalled just how easily they'd made her snap. _I thought… _On the whole, she'd seemed so much better since he'd gone looking for her the previous day; how had those simple words, which had obviously been a lie or otherwise a ruse to get their guard down, affected her like that? _Why didn't she tell me about this? _

Deep down, he knew the answer. _It's because it's the one thing she'll never really forgive herself for. It's the one thing she'll never forget. _Intertwining his fingers with hers, Hope willed her to calm down, something that he knew would have to happen before any of them took another step forwards. "It's my fault," came the hoarse whisper—Hope had been about to open his mouth to argue when a different voice broke over his intent to reassure her.

"_No, it's not!" _Snow was suddenly standing behind them, the knuckles of one hand pressed against the other palm. "Listen, Sis, he was just trying to mess with you—d'you really believe that crap he was spouting? D'you need _him_ to tell you it's your fault, or are you gonna take it from _us_, who really knew Serah, and accept that it wasn't?"

She was silent for a long time; what she was thinking, Hope couldn't tell—Lightning had her face carefully turned away from him, and it was only when she returned the gentle pressure he was putting on her fingers did she let him know that some aspect of it was back under control. "Sorry," she mumbled quietly, "it's just…"

He knew what she was thinking. _You want Serah back more than anything. Even if it's coming from an enemy. _

Snow stepped around them until he stood in front of her; when he spoke again, his voice normally exuberant voice was quiet, more subdued. "Look, I want Serah back too. More than anything. But he's just trying to toy with you—nobody can bring back the dead, right? So just forget about it, Sis, don't listen to the garbage he's trying to make you believe." Snow paused for a moment, glancing around. "How bout we figure out where the hell we are instead of sitting around?"

Hope felt Lightning breathe in quietly before slowly getting to her feet, pulling him up with her. "Okay." Her voice was nowhere as steady as it had been just an hour ago, but it was a definite improvement over what honestly could've happened…something that they didn't have the time to sort out just now. _She could've lost it over that… and if we weren't with her, who knew what could've happened? _The thought was terrifying in its implication, as Hope stared around at their new surroundings.

Snow cracked his knuckles again. "So… he teleported us… or something?" The stone around them wasn't anything like the lakeside they'd just been at, even though water still lapped at grey rocks far beneath them. The sky above was still that steel grey—the cloud cover was thick enough as it was, but there was that odd warmth in the stone beneath his feet even though they had to be close to winter now.

Gently tugging at her shoulder, Hope turned to her. "Can he do that?"

Lightning shook her head. "I don't know… he's never done it before, but…" She paused, staring out across the grey waves that stretched out in front of them—the shoreline was visible, a smear of dark green against grey in the far distance. "But he always showed up at the most convenient times… and, I told you," she continued quietly, flicking her gaze back at him for the fraction of a heartbeat. "He knew things he shouldn't've, he could do things that I've never seen before."

"Right." Snow was leaning against the rock behind them, arms held behind his head. "So he's a psychic… or something? Is that kinda thing even possible?" The blond brawler was silent for a moment. "So what _do _we know? We know that this whole thing is because they wanna take over, or something, and that they're all concerned with the Umbra Gear, the Kalasutra, whatever the hell that's supposed to be."

The moment Snow mentioned those words, something resurfaced in his mind, a memory created what felt like long ago in a cave that glittered with ice and stone. "Wait. That tablet."

"What about the tablet? It was an old stone saying stuff about priests of death, didn't seem all that important to me."

Hope cleared his throat. "Remember? It said that they were from some clan and that with the summons they closed the door to the Unseen Realm. Isn't the Unseen Realm…" He trailed off, but the understanding was already dawning on Lightning's face.

"Wait," she rasped. "You said… some clan?" There was an odd sort of scrutiny on her face, as she bent to pull something from the pack strapped to her left thigh. "Is this… the stone they were talking about?"

In her palm was a small, walnut-sized stone, stained scarlet, but the colour wasn't coming from the glass—the colour of it seemed to burn inside it, as though whatever the orb housed created its own light. Hope swallowed when he saw the tiny Pulsian script inscribed on its smooth surface. _The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death. _"The phoenix… that bird, it came from this?" _You left this detail out too…_

She nodded, closing her fingers around the small sphere. "But I can't use it… all the time. It comes when it feels like it, not when I want it to." Snow glanced from the red orb in her hand to Hope.

"Don't you have one too? The one that we took from that shrine?"

Hope dug in his sling for the spherical metal container, the words still scratched on its surface. "But we can't open it, remember?" The white metal of the container glimmered faintly in the grey, watery light that fell from above—it was as cool as the air around them and there was nothing about it that had changed. He looked up to find Lightning staring at the small thing in his hand with her brows furrowed, clearly deep in thought. _But that's good… that means she's not still thinking about… _

"So. I get it. Remember when that scientist told us that the Meurites were the result of incomplete reincarnation? So…wouldn't they come from the Unseen Realm directly? And if…"

Hope finished the thought off for her. "…and if these stones, whatever they are, seal _off_ the Unseen Realm, then there would be no more of them being created. That's why he's after them, isn't he? He doesn't want to use it, like we're doing; he wants to get _rid_ of it."

There was silence as the fact sunk in; the only thing Hope could hear was the restless beat of the waves crashing against the rocks below them.

"Well." Snow scratched the back of his bandanna. "Now that we've figured out what we're supposed to be doing, how bout let's figure out how to get out of this place so we can do it?" When there was no argument, he cracked his knuckles again. "Al_right_, let's get to it!"

Moseying his way up the rocks, Snow clambered easily up the rocky shoreline—the trail was narrow and salt-sprayed, but there was only one way to go: up. His tattered trench coat had already whipped out of sight on the narrow, winding path upwards when Hope stopped Lightning from following him. "Light…"

She didn't turn around, but from what he _could_ see of her carefully-kept impassive expression, she already knew what he was going to ask. "Don't," she said quietly. "I know what you're going to say. It's stupid… and _I_ was goddamn stupid for not telling you that he _knew_… but…" There was a silence that was filled only by the wind pushing the water against the rocks far beneath them, creating a chaotic, regular rhythm that somehow eerily related to his heartbeat. "But it's the one thing that I can't change. It's the one thing that no matter how hard I try, I can't change and sure as hell can't forget. So I thought, maybe…" The words were bitter, but through the abrasive tone she was somehow maintaining, he could hear the pain behind it.

"I know," he murmured simply, tightening his grip on her left arm. _And I do. I do know how she feels—I wanted to believe that something, somewhere out there… would've been able to bring Mom back too._ "But it's like Snow said… he's trying to toy with you because he knows it's the one thing you want… but can't have." That was when she turned aggravated blue eyes on him, a new doubt shadowing her gaze.

"He wants you too," she whispered, furling her fingers into his sleeve. "But don't you see? He keeps… he keeps telling me stuff that I know in my head is goddamn impossible _is_ possible—and then I realize that what _is _important to me, people that I know are _right here_… I'm forgetting, because I keep thinking about it!" She let go of him then, clenching her fingers into fists before whipping her head away from him. "And I told myself… I fucking_ told myself_ that I wouldn't listen to him anymore, because he'd get you over my dead body—"

"Lightning." He caught her wrists before she could continue; fear was starting to course through his bloodstream not just because he knew—understood—exactly how she was feeling, but also because of the image her last words had just painted in his mind. _I can't let her continue; she'll guilt herself into thinking that something _else_ is her fault, and… _"It's not wrong," he began tentatively, "to want to believe that." _Because I would've wanted to… too. _"And I get it. I get how you feel and… it's not like you're the only one that thinks that way. But I don't want you dying for me." _I swore I'd look after you too. _

"Tch." Pulling her wrists out of his grip, she took a step backwards, ice blue eyes blazing. "You don't have a choice in that matter. I've hurt you—and burdened you—with more than what was fair; it's only right that—"

"That you can go and die for me because you feel like you can't make up for it all?" He was starting to feel frustrated now; driven by both fear because he knew she was deadly serious and anger that she could even _begin_ to still think she had to repay him for whatever had happened to them in the past, Hope wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake her for being this way—but he was afraid to touch her just now because there _was_ a line, and if he accidentally crossed it—with good intentions or not—then there would be no going back._ Okay, Hope… stop before you start shouting at her. That's not going to get you anywhere and it'll only upset her further. _"Light," he tried again, forcibly reigning in his tone until it was barely audible over the sound of the waves. "I don't_ want_ you to do that. The only thing I want you to do… is to not leave me again. Okay?" _Please don't argue with me… _

He saw her snort derisively at the last couple of words, but the blazing intensity was leaving her aquamarine gaze and she looked away from him. "Of course you'd say that," she murmured quietly—he could hear the pain in her voice and it bothered him that she didn't believe them.

"But I mean it!" Hope wanted to keep the plea out of his voice, but somehow, that tone worked itself into the simple sentence anyways as he took a step closer to her. "I'm not saying it… because I think it'd make you feel better… or whatever." _I'd only say it because I meant it. _"Why don't you believe me?"

When she didn't reply, he thought it was a safe moment to reach out for her again, slowly closing his hands around her shoulders. "This is why you deserve someone better than me," she mumbled quietly, leaning her forehead against his throat. "I can't let go of the past… and I can't protect you when you need it most. Here you are… telling me that you don't want me to leave, and all I can do is argue with you."

"So stop arguing with me?" he suggested quietly, hoping that it would lift the dire mood that had settled over them the moment the topic had been brought up. "I really do mean it… Light." _But this… this was something that needed addressing, sooner or later. And better now than in the middle of a battlefield._

She snorted again, pushing herself away from him to look at him; Hope felt relief rising in his chest when he realized that he recognized the look in her eyes—it was her look of grudging acceptance, not because she didn't _want_ to accept it, but because it would admit that he'd been right. The ghost of a smile quirked at the corner of her lips. "Okay." He fought the temptation to pull her back into some sort of embrace as the words left her mouth, knowing that it wasn't the time just now. _But…_

"_Hey!_" A loud yell sounded somewhere far above their heads, echoing off the dense masses of rock and bouncing back along the crisp waves that beat against the shoreline. "Are you two going to stand around chit-chatting all day while I wait for that wedding announcement, or are you going to hurry up and get up here?"

The look on Lightning's face could've really killed, he mused as he followed her up the rocky incline, and the only thing Hope could feel fortunate for was that she'd moved beyond punching whoever made a jab at her.

Snow had his arms crossed over his chest as they emerged from the stony incline, a tortured expression on his face. "For the love of the Maker, finally," he muttered. "Took you freaking long enough. Done with your little private conversation so we can move on now?" He grinned underneath the caustic tones. "Cause I got news for you." Pointing a finger down the side of the rocks away from the shoreline, he gestured for them to get closer. "Look."

Peering over Snow's shoulder, Hope realized that the sight spread before them was why the rock had felt so unnaturally warm underneath their feet. Heat waves were being forced out in regular ripples from the rock below, but there was no fire, nor was this a volcano, as he would've suspected. The warmth was coming from what he could only assume was a metal gate in waves that grew stronger the closer they got. Crouching at the edge of the rock, he could see that Lightning had already raised an arm to shield her face and neck from the incoming heat. "We can't get any closer," she muttered under her breath.

"D'you think this is it?" Snow's hiss came from somewhere above his head. "Looks plenty creepy enough to me." Hope scrutinized the scene below them more carefully, trying not to feel apprehensive at the ribbons of darkness reaching through the closed metal.

"But why send us here? I mean, if this _is_ the gate to the Unseen Realm, wouldn't we want to destroy it?" Gripping the warmth of the rock underneath his hands, he tried to think through his newest question. _Why send us here if you know we'd figure it out?_

"Because we can't get close to it. Haven't you noticed it's pushing us back? We wouldn't be able to get down there even if we wanted to." Inching closer, Hope realized that she was right—he could feel something bodily pushing him backwards the closer he got, even though there was nothing there that he could see. "He sent us here knowing that we wouldn't be able to… even if we wanted."

"Yeah? That's not the only depressing piece of news. Come and look at this." Getting up, feeling all to glad to be away from the immediate proximity of the gate that wasn't making him any less uneasy, Hope clambered over the rocks until he caught up with Snow, who was standing at the very edge of the rocks looking out towards the choppy grey water. "This is an island. And there's no way we're getting off of it."

Looking around, he realized with a sinking sort of depression that Snow was right—there was water, and only water, stretched out around them in all directions; land was a green smear in the far distance and there was nothing that bridged this small island to the mainland… unless they swam. _I don't think any of us can swim that far… _

"So he sent us here… because he knew we wouldn't be able to get off of it?" Lightning's tone was bitter and she sat down on the nearest rock, wrapping her arms over her knees. "I get it," she muttered darkly. "We can stay here and rot while he does what he wants without being disturbed." Bridging her hand over her face, she let out a sigh. "Great."

Sitting down beside her so that their elbows touched, he _wanted_ to say something to chase off her dark mood, but in reality, he knew exactly how she was feeling: they were stuck, here, while who-knew-what was rampaging through the rest of Gran Pulse and they wouldn't be able to do a thing about it.

"Don't be like that, Sis." Snow cracked his knuckles by forcing the knuckles of one hand against the palm of the other. "There's gotta be a way off of this place, we just haven't looked hard enough."

Though he wanted to cling to Snow's optimism, Hope really didn't see where they could still look—sure, there was the shoreline far beneath them, but the place was desolate enough as it was and he doubted they would be able to find anything that would allow them to cross such a wide expanse of water. _But we can't give up just yet… right? _Gently giving her arm a tug, he saw his own doubt reflected in Lightning's ice blue gaze. "Okay," she acquiesced, allowing him to pull her up. "There's nothing else for us to do here anyways; might as well look."

But what he didn't miss was the shadow that crossed her gaze for all of a moment when she turned away to follow Snow, who was already making his way down the rocks that led to the shoreline.

_Even though you might have given me your word earlier… you're still thinking about it._

* * *

**Whew. This chapter was long. I'm _hoping_ that most of the events are self-explanatory... and if I bungled that somewhere down the line, I'm sorry. *kneels* It was definitely a lot to take in and looking back on it, it probably could've served better as two seperate chapters, but oh well... guess you guys get to enjoy the 8,000 words of uh, torture? (well, for me, certain parts of this were indeed torture)_  
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**Anyways. *wiggles fingers* Uhm, honestly, I'm too lazy to give this 15 page (on MS Word 2010) chapter more than a cursory glance in terms of spelling/grammar, so please, if you noticed something off, let me know?  
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**Leave a review if you're so inclined (whee, we're almost at 200! You have no idea how happy this makes me) and I'll see you guys soon! I'll see if I can't crank out Chapter 29 by tomorrow... it's been planned already, so we'll see.  
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**Hearts!  
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	29. Promises

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!**

**I have some sad news for you all. I so wanted to finish this fic before going back to university (someone save me) on September 4th, but I know-now-that that's not gonna happen. Too much has still yet to happen, and though I have no intentions of abandoning this fic whatsoever, updates are gonna be scarce once uni starts back up. I'm thinking once a week, but I'm going to _try _to squeeze in as much as I can between work, school, gaming, fangirling with my awesome LadyAlaska... and writing. So that's my little sob story. -.-  
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**My love for my supporters is eternal: H-thar (haha, don't worry, you'll be giving Hope big props in the following chapter), That One Reviewee (well... that repetition was intentional... it _sounded_ right in my head...), Whistlewind Wolf (Well, I try. As I said, I'm doing my best to write as much as I can before school starts, so possibly. n_n And thank you for the spell check, whoops! And as for Light, welll... yeah, like you said, she pretty much lived for Serah, so hopefully someone else *prods* can change that for her?), and GKMader (yeah, sometimes it takes awhile to beat things into her head, y'know? She's stubborn that way). Thank you all so much - this fic hit 10K views sometime last chapter and I honestly cannot tell you how happy that makes me. n_n**

**I'm not too big of a fan of how this chapter began... I mean, it's okay, but eh... it could've came out better for sure. It struggles along until I think I rework it (you can probably tell where I ragequit last night before picking it up again this morning) but I do like how I close it, so yay? I don't know - enjoy as always!**

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Chapter 29: Promises

The ashen sands of the beach below them wasn't as promising as Snow had made it sound; foot sinking precariously into the whiteness that reminded her of bones, Lightning tried to keep her breathing steady… for Hope's sake if not for her own—he was hovering at her shoulder and she knew him well enough to know that if some form of her panic and fears showed on her face now, he would spend the rest of the afternoon trying to reassure her of things she already goddamn _knew_… and just didn't want to fully embrace.

It was tempting—she _wanted_ to believe it, and she had absolutely no doubts that Hope was telling the genuine truth. But Lightning had never left herself so vulnerably open to someone else her entire life, someone who arguably knew her better than she did herself; Hope read her moods often before she was aware that he was doing so… and she hadn't even had to _explain_ herself to him when she'd almost lost it like she had. _And that's why I'm selfish… because he's given me everything he has and I can't bring myself to return it. So when I said I was willing to die for him… I meant it. _

But Hope would go ballistic if he knew she was thinking like this, would no doubt do everything he could do dissuade that particular sentiment of hers when she knew nothing he said would be enough. She wasn't going to walk around and pretend that it wasn't something that wasn't her fault; she wasn't going to keep going pretending that her lack of willingness to understand _his_ sentiments wasn't something that just showed she didn't deserve any of it. _But I… _

She wasn't going to keep lying to herself—that was something that never worked, no matter how hard she tried—she _wanted_ it and there was no way she was going to squirm out of that one. _But I can still make sure he stays safe… no matter what. Even if he doesn't agree; if I have to hide that from him, then so be it. Fighting's the only thing that I know how to do… so I'll do it. _

Taking a breath, Lightning clenched her left hand into a fist as she stared out across the small beach being washed by water that looked curiously turquoise up close, but grey from further away. There was something off about the place—it was incredibly still; apart from the crashing of the waves breaking over the rocky shoreline, there was no other sound apart from their footsteps and the occasional muttered curse coming from Snow.

Resting her hand against the jagged rock that rose above her head, the warmth of it surprised her, even though she knew the source of its heat. There was a soft _crunch crunch_ as Hope bent down beside her, digging his hand into the beach to bring up a handful of bleached sand. "There's nothing living," he remarked quietly; looking around, Lightning realized he was right.

_But why not? _There was water, there was everything that an organism needed to grow and thrive on this small secluded island in the middle of nowhere, so why wasn't there anything living here? He ploughed on. "Is it because… the gate to the Unseen Realm is here?"

She shrugged. "I don't know." _Does it really matter? _Moving away from him, she wandered until the waves lapped at the soles of her boots; looking out across the dismally grey lake surface to the dark green smear that had to be miles away. _Can I swim that far? _She didn't think so—with healing injuries and Snow and Hope—especially Hope—tagging along with her, she wouldn't make it that far even if it would occur on a good day.

But there was nothing else for it; how _else_ were they going to get off this goddamn island? Sure, discovering the gate to the Unseen Realm was nice, but according to the legends—that she still wasn't quite sure she believed—then there were two more spheres they needed to find, not including the one Hope had in his hands, and they still needed to figure out a way to approach the gate itself. Having the glass orb on her person hadn't prevented her from being affected by the pulses of heat just as much as Hope, and Lightning had a feeling that approaching the gate was a different matter altogether.

_But so what? If we can't get out of here… we can't do anything. _Skirting around the edge of the beach, she tried to think of a way off the island that wouldn't involve swimming. _The phoenix? _But the glass orb in her pack was as cool and dim as it had been when it had first reappeared, after the fight in the temple, and she couldn't feel the vibrant energy that she somehow knew it would house once it was time for it to be used again. Squinting out again over the grey waves, she wandered away from the beachside; there was nothing else there of interest to her and standing around wasn't her idea of trying to keep her mind off of things.

There was another path that led from the other side of the white sand—it didn't lead up, as far as she could tell, because the stone on this side of the island was one sheer cliff; water swirled in odd dead pockets underneath the rock and it was as devoid of life as the beach had been.

Picking her way along the new path, Lightning had to marvel at the absence of life here—no limpets or barnacles clung to the wet rock; no screeches of waterfowl could be heard over the sound of the crashing waves—apart from her footsteps and occasional grunt of effort, there was silence. But what caught her attention was that there were solitary rocks, standing alone in the grey water that didn't seem to be too far from the shoreline. They dotted the way to a distant peninsula—there were only about four or five that rose up at odd places few and far in between, but it would be infinitely more manageable than if they tried swimming the entire length in one attempt. Narrowing her eyes, Lightning clambered onto a higher ledge of rock to get a better look. _Maybe…_

"_Liiiiight_! Where are you?" The sound of her name startled her for a moment; it was Hope's voice calling from a distance, and it was with a defeated sense of guilt twisting her stomach that she realized that she hadn't let him know where she was going.

Leaping down lithely from the rock ledge, she muttered a curse under her breath; debating with herself whether to go back, or to shout from where she was standing to lead them here, Lightning decided on the former—it would be less of a hassle for her to go back than take the risk of Hope and Snow possibly getting lost trying to find _her. _

Gripping the stone by her left shoulder to keep her balance on the slippery rock, she found Hope looking restless when she finally came into view. "Maker, Light," he muttered when she was within earshot. "You scared me. I thought you ran off again."

Allowing a dry smile to pull at the corner of her lips, she shrugged one shoulder. "There isn't really much to run away from… I could probably walk around this entire island in about twenty minutes." But she wasn't going to deny it—his concern reached the tiniest finger of warmth into her chest and she held onto that. "But I found something."

Snow crunched over in the sand, cracking the knuckles of one hand with the other. "Really?"

Giving him a brisk nod, she turned to go back down the rock path, careful of the waves that were becoming more violent now that night was beginning to set in—a cold wind was beginning to blow, kicking the water to higher arcs than they were before and several times, the icy lake spray splashed on her bare calves, causing her to wince as it slid down her exposed skin.

Lightning heard Hope's sharp intake of breath the moment the solitary rocks in the lake became visible; she took the moment to give him a critical glance. _Would he make it? _She would sure have to hope so—she couldn't see any other way off the island and as precarious this would be, making it to the other side of the lake was an impossible task barring a miracle. _And we're going to need one. _

Snow leaned back against the wet rock, clearly deep in thought. "I think it's possible, if the water wasn't too high or anything. I mean, wouldn't want to be swimming out there in a storm. We should give it a go."

What she _wanted_ to say was that there wouldn't be a second chance for any of them the moment they stepped into the water; quite literally, it would be do or die the moment they left the island. But since she'd brought the idea up in the first place, Lightning kept her mouth shut, discreetly watching Hope for a sign of protest.

But there was none: he was staring out at the rocks, some of them no bigger than a large boulder that would provide only a brief rest before they had to move on with an intense scrutiny on his face. "Yeah," he agreed finally. "There's no other way possible… and if we die trying, it's not going to be any worse than waiting for all of Gran Pulse to turn to hell while we stay here."

Snow laughed. "Well said, kid. I'm in. But why don't we save the swimming for tomorrow morning—it's getting cold and we could all use a rest." Giving her a pointed look, he crossed his arms over his chest again, clearly waiting for an approval.

Lightning wanted to argue—sure, they were probably short on sleep, but the sad truth about the place was that it was devoid of life; the lake water probably wasn't drinkable to begin with and with no other living creatures, there wouldn't be any food. _Delaying too long would mean that we wouldn't have any stamina, no matter how well rested we would be. _But she kept her mouth shut, seeing the exhausted look on Hope's face; noting, with the familiar pang somewhere in the vicinity of her lungs, the small slice to his cheek that hadn't quite fully healed since their time in the mountain.

"Fine." Stuffing away the omega weapon, her hand brushed against the curved blade of the survival knife tucked into her belt; the feel of the cold metal bringing back the old, lingering sense of regret and guilt in a heartbeat.

_Maker, please tell me I'm not doing the wrong thing all over again._

* * *

The sound of the waves beating restlessly against shore was a sound that he was unused to, but it was somehow familiar all the same, as he tried to get comfortable against the rock. Hope was grateful for its unnatural warmth in such a cold night, but what he—still—couldn't get used to was the sound of Snow's snores that could be heard over the lapping water; he cast a furtive glance in the direction of the rock that Lightning was sitting on. She'd volunteered to take the first watch, and under the dim silver light of the faint moon that had managed to peek out from behind the heavy clouds, he couldn't help but think about how vulnerable she looked by herself.

The events of the day had finally managed to catch up to him sometime in between discovering what might be their only way off this secluded island and picking a rock to lean against for the night. The sand underneath his fingers was smooth, but it wasn't comforting, knowing that it didn't sustain life…and just where they were.

Giving up on sleep for the time being when he couldn't feel his heart rate steadying in any way, shape, or form, Hope found himself wandering over to the rock that Lightning had picked. She heard him before he was even halfway there, narrowing her ice blue gaze at him with a guarded suspicion, but she didn't speak until he was just underneath the perch she'd chosen.

Leaping down lightly, she rested one hand on her hip. "You should be resting," she remarked dryly. "It's not going to be easy tomorrow."

"I couldn't sleep," he answered honestly, hoping that she wouldn't send him away with the direction to _'try'. _She snorted softly at the answer before sitting down against the rock, one knee pulled to her chest. "So what's wrong now?" she asked quietly, the hint of her old barb in her voice as he sat down beside her.

He stared at the back of his hand for a few moments before replying. "I don't know… You. Light," he began quietly. "You really were serious when you said that he'd get me over your dead body… weren't you?"

What Hope hadn't been prepared for was to feel her flinch beside him; when she didn't reply, he continued, unsure as ever now as to the conversation topic he'd picked. _Please don't be mad at me. _"I don't want you to."

"Haven't we already discussed this?" she asked, a flat, removed tone to her voice. "Hope, I said…" she bridged her hand across her face, rubbing the corners of her eyes with her forefinger and thumb. "I said I got it."

He didn't want to bring up the topic that she'd hidden things from him 'for the greater good' before; it would only incite an argument that neither of them needed at the moment. "I know," he acquiesced quietly. "It's just… I can't stop thinking about it," he admitted, afraid to look at her because he didn't want to see the reaction that he was honestly scared of.

"Well, stop," she suggested, with a tone of finality to her voice. Taking the hint that this was the end of that particular discussion, he decided to try a different tack at conversation.

"…Um, Light?"

"Mmhm?"

He took a breath, suddenly feeling as anxious about this particular topic he'd picked arbitrarily in his mind as he felt about the last. _But… I've been wondering for a long time. _It was a topic that needed closure, in one way or another, and selfishly, he wanted to hear it from her rather than a twisted, garbled version from the enemies they would no doubt meet somewhere down the line, provided they made it through the gamble they were planning to take the following morning. "Remember… when you told me that there was something you were going to think through… and that you'd tell us once you sorted it out for yourself? I know it's been a long time… and I know about a million things've happened since… but do you think you could tell me now?"

Lightning was silent for awhile; the silence growing to consume the space between them until the only thing that he had as reassurance that she was still a living, breathing human beside him was her faint heartbeat that he could feel because their shoulders were touching. A soft snort brought him back into reality—for a moment, he was unsure what, exactly, had elicited that particular reaction until he realized she was turned towards him with a look of surprised amusement in her aquamarine gaze. "You remember something from that far back?" she asked lightly.

Feeling sheepish, he shrugged slightly, feeling a small smile tug at his own mouth. "Well, yeah." Feeling that it was better not to elaborate for the moment being, he watched her sigh quietly.

"Sorry," she apologized. "It's not _funny_, it's just… I'm surprised you remembered, all things considered."

"So what was it?"

She sighed again, before wrapping both arms around the knee she'd brought to her chest. "Remember… what happened, back then? Four years ago?" When he nodded, she continued; Hope could notice the effort she was making to keep her voice flat and controlled now. "So all of this that's been happening… it's because of it."

Blinking, Hope stared at her for a few moments, unsure of what she was trying to say until the facts that they'd mulled through together earlier in the afternoon came back to him. "What?" _Please don't tell me… _When she didn't say anything, carefully looking away from him, he knew his suspicions were right; he could see now, why she'd had a hard time accepting it—it was like a blow to the gut, that everything they'd done to save the world then hadn't been enough, that everything they'd done then was only coming back to haunt them now. _But we can't… let this stop us, right? We still have to keep going, right?_

"I know what you're going to say." Lightning spoke before he could open his mouth—she was still carefully looking away from him, but her left hand had curled into a fist atop her knee as she stared out at the restless waves. "And sometime between running for my life… and running for yours, I knew that we had to keep going. Because if this is _our_ fault… then we have to fix it, right?"

Hope could feel the smile genuinely stretching his lips now. "Right." Draping his hand over hers, he waited until she relaxes under the slight hold, allowing him to intertwine his fingers with hers. "You didn't need me to tell you that this time."

She flicked her gaze back at him then, the calm serenity in her teal gaze reassuring him that she wasn't thinking about blaming herself; wasn't thinking about self-sacrifice for him at this moment. "Some things… I _can_ figure out, okay?"

Chuckling, and feeling gratified when she didn't resist the arm he snaked around her other shoulder, Hope felt her tense a little when he murmured something against her hair. "I still don't want you to leave again…Light."

She blinked up at him then, lifting her head so that she could look at him on the same eye level. "Sorry," she apologized quietly, before a pained sigh left her lips. "But I can't change how I feel."

_And I know that. But I promised I'd protect you too; that's why… that's why this time, I'm not going to let you throw yourself into harm's way simply because you want to protect me._

* * *

The icy water threatened to stick to her skin the moment she waded into the grey waves past her knee—it was cold, but also not as cold as she honestly would've expected a lake to be on the cusp of winter. Hearing Snow mutter a curse at her left shoulder, she fought the urge to pull her hand out of Hope's; sure, the blond wouldn't be able to see, but she sure as hell didn't need any distractions for the moment being. Lightning let it go, though—there wouldn't be a chance for conversation for a long while yet and she wanted to reassure him that she was okay.

Which was, of course, metaphorically speaking—he'd left her feeling strangely empowered by their brief conversation before she'd finally shooed him off with the direction that he really needed to get some rest. But his quiet assertion, his _acceptance_ that what was happening now was directly related to four years ago made her feel that there _was_ a way to fix it all… _And he has to make it. _

It hadn't changed her earlier resolve in any way, and Lightning suspected that Hope _knew_ that he couldn't change how she felt. _And that's something… he'll have to learn to accept before he gets any crazy ideas worked up into his head. _"Ready?" she rasped quietly, hoping that her voice could be heard above the cutting wind that seemed so much louder now that they were offshore.

The icy waves could've been knives dragging along the exposed skin on her arms, and for a moment, Lightning had to stop and consider exactly how suicidal their attempt could turn out to be. Lungs already burning for oxygen, there was almost no salt in the water to hope for buoyancy, and the new skin was still stretched uncomfortably tight across the back of her left leg, slowing her down more than was absolutely necessary. Afraid to put her head under the water for fear of hypothermia, she could only keep her eyes on the goal she had in mind—the jutting rock about half a kilometre out that would hopefully have enough room to hold all three of them.

She couldn't even turn around to gauge Hope and Snow's progess; the water around her dimmed her sense of hearing and the only thing she could keep her mind on was to keep going. But having a goal was something she could understand, however physically uncomfortable she was at the moment—and that was infinitely better than wandering around by herself, wondering if she'd ever see him again because of the stupid mistakes she'd made. And for that aspect, Lightning was grateful; here, at least, she could keep an eye on him to make sure that no further harm would come to him if things came down to it; here, he was within her reach, whether it was because she needed him… or the other way around.

It still bothered her a little, with the way her mental and emotional well-being had come to almost completely rely on him in the months in between summer, and now, but it was a fact that, embarrassingly, she could accept. _And that's why… I have to keep you safe. _

Fighting against the rolling waves of icy, grey lake water, it was more than twenty minutes later that she gripped the slick, icy rock above her head to drag herself out of the cold water, dripping wet. Looking back to see that Hope had indeed kept up with her, she reached down to pull him out of the water as Snow came up spluttering. The frosty breeze made goosebumps rise on her skin, and Lightning fought the urge to shiver, even though she knew the motion would be involuntary. "Should we take a break?"

Painstakingly, she knew that the next rock, far off in the distance, would take them equally as long—the icy water was more draining than she thought it would be and their progress was hampered enough as it was. Hope was too busy trying to catch his breath to reply, and she saw Snow's waterlogged trench coat dripping as he sat down on a rock, holding up a hand to denote five minutes.

Giving him a brief nod of assent, Lightning moved to stand beside Hope, hoping that their close proximity would allow for some of their conjoined body heat to calm him. He was taller than her now, true, but one look into his familiar emerald green gaze reminded her, painfully, that he still wasn't much older than a child. Turning eighteen eight months ago didn't automatically make him a mature adult, however much he might've otherwise acted like one, and she told herself to remember that. "You okay?" she asked quietly.

When he nodded, she was only slightly more reassured than she had been before. "You have to tell me… if you need a break, okay?"

But when they slipped back into the icy, foaming water again, Lightning knew he was lagging behind—he didn't have the stamina that she or Snow had and it would start to show soon enough. Yelling through a mouthful of lake water for Snow to go on ahead, she waited until he caught up to her, flecks of icy liquid flying everywhere in her attempt to tread water without letting the lake close over her head.

Fighting to keep both him and herself above the water was harder after that. She'd yelled at him to stop arguing with her the moment she knew he was going to protest at her helping him, and even though she knew Hope was trying his best to keep up with her motions and keep as much of his weight from pulling her down as he could, their progress was painfully slow; aches were beginning to drag at her back and she swallowed water more than once.

_I have to keep him safe. _

That thought alone was enough to make her push her body further, but even so, when Lightning finally dragged herself up the thankfully-larger rock that wasn't as hard for her to pull herself up onto. Breathing hard, she wiped sopping bangs off her face, cutting across Hope before he could speak the moment he was able to. "Save it," she rasped at him, pinning his hand underneath hers in an attempt to stop him from doing whatever the hell he wanted to do at the moment. "It's not your fault." _It's mine… even if there was no other way off that island, the idea was still mine. _

He closed his mouth obediently at that, but she could read the expression in his achingly familiar viridian gaze well enough. Snow cracked his knuckles behind them. "Well… on the bright side, we're almost there."

Following Snow's gaze, she could make out the now much-closer smear of green that dotted the shoreline; Lightning could make out the edges of the pine trees that stood above the grass now, but she had doubts as to how much further they—Hope—could go. Breathing hard through her nose, she tried to fight the waves of fatigue that were clinging to her—she'd been drained in battle before, but that was before… when she arguably only had herself to look after; the only other time that she'd felt this tired and had to take care of someone else was back at the mountain, in which she had struggled and fought to catch his faltering life with her own. _But now… _

This wasn't terrain they were used to: water sloshed around them in what seemed like neverending waves; she was painfully aware of the fact that none of them had a high level of tolerance when it came to swimming, and really, they were lucky that no enemies had come after them yet: none of them were in any condition for a serious fight, and with just over half a mile to go before the shoreline—terra firma—could greet them, they couldn't have been in a more vulnerable position.

The wind was starting to pick up now—it had to be close to afternoon and the grey tears across the sky weren't clearing; as cold as it was, her hair was beginning to dry in tangled curls and Lightning knew if they delayed any further they wouldn't be able to make it at all. She curled her hand lightly around his upper arm. "Come on… let's go."

The look he gave her could've made her stop then and there… if she didn't know that there were worse things out there in Gran Pulse that were after them all. But the look in Hope`s eyes held nothing but fatigue and guilt, and selfishly, she knew it was her fault. "I'll keep you safe," she vowed quietly—the exact same promise she'd given him under a setting orange sun in a world that felt like it was a million eons apart from where they were now.

Hope twitched a hand in her direction, as if he wanted to deny that fact, but Lightning didn't want to hear it. Stepping into the lake water again, she found that her feet could touch bottom now—the water level was still somewhere in the vicinity of her neck, but it would no longer be a struggle of thrashing limbs and lungs screaming for an adequate amount of oxygen amidst icy, rolling waves.

Water weeds dragged at her ankles and calves, tangling around them as she fought to free herself from the spindly plants and growths that littered the bottom of the lake—here though, she was reassured that there was at least _some_ form of life. Noting dryly that both Hope and Snow were having an easier time than she was, Lightning kicked out at the plants knotting themselves around her boots.

"Light?" Hope's timid, out of breath voice from half a step ahead of her made her glance in his direction. "How long do you think it'll take them to notice that we're gone?"

She shook her head, before she remembered that he wouldn't be able to see her. "I don't know." Fervently, Lightning hoped that Arturo wouldn't send anybody to check, though she knew that was wishful thinking. _He'll find out… eventually. _She'd been about to voice that this wasn't the time to be discussing that particular topic when Snow let out a strangled yell in front of them.

Whipping around, she saw exactly what he was looking at within heartbeats. _Monsters. _In the struggle for survival, she'd completely forgotten that there would've still been monsters lurking around somewhere; especially in such a remote area, where there wasn't a sign of any recent civilization, they were bound to come across them sooner or later. _And I've been stupid to expect that we wouldn't encounter any. _Lightning wanted to slap herself—she hadn't considered monsters when they'd planned their escape route from the island and now they were going to pay the price.

Unsheathing her omega weapon from behind her, she cursed the water plants that were underfoot; they hampered her movement and the Ceratoraptors could swim faster than any of them could run at the moment. _Shit!_

The first one launched itself at its nearest target—her—with large jaws opened to show the tiny, pointy teeth. Jerking her leg free of the tangled weed, she ducked to the side. The teeth missed her by a matter of inches, but the resulting splash as the monster landed back into the lake sprayed her with water, blinding her for a moment.

Wiping the water off her face, she tried to catch the aquatic monster with the edge of her weapon, but the Ceratoraptor was fast—the blade of her weapon only grazed against its skin as it went in for another attack. Snow's yell of triumph in the distance was only slightly reassuring—it wasn't him she was worried about. Fighting through icy water and plant material to reach Hope, Lightning buried the tip of her gunblade into the back of one that was about to fasten its jaws into his shoulder; throwing it away from her, she gave him a quick glance to make sure he was okay.

Hope was still standing, but there wasn't any time to give him more than a cursory glance. Briefly, she remembered that he still had his Watera manadrive with him—before she realized that it wouldn't help them now. "Get moving!" she hissed to him; the Ceratoraptors wouldn't be able to follow them onto land very far and fighting on land was going to take infinitely less effort than it was right now. Giving him a rough shove in the direction of the shoreline, Lightning turned back to face the three remaining Ceratoraptors.

They were growing wary now that they were splashing closer to shore, but she knew they hadn't given up yet—they had the ferocious, hungry look of monsters that hadn't found a good bit of prey in awhile. Still backing away as fast as the plants and the water resistance would allow them to, she saw one of them tense for an attack, leaping for her head.

Without thinking, she ducked—remembering too late that Hope was behind her. His pained yelp was all she needed to hear before Lightning forced herself into motion, moving on pure instinct now that whatever plan she'd had in the first place had been thrown out the window by the reflex that she hadn't thought through.

Turning around, swiping her omega weapon at the monster, she prised it off of his shoulder, letting it drop into the water with a dull splash; breathing hard, she tried to gauge how much damage it had done—he was bleeding, she could see that and something icy and cold gripped at her lungs when she realized that had she not ducked—and she consciously put _him_ before her—it wouldn't have happened.

"Light!" His warning had barely made it to her ears before Lightning felt something close its jaws around her waist, tiny sharp teeth digging into her side. Fighting to free herself, she wrenched at it with her free hand, feeling skin and cloth tear underneath the grip the monster had on her side. Slamming the blade of her weapon into its body, its jaws relaxed around her for a brief heartbeat, but it was enough to pull the dazed Ceratoraptor off of her and throw it back into the water.

Mud joined the weeds underfoot as they struggled towards the shoreline, Snow's yells and splashes coming from further ahead as she tried to ignore the sharp, stabbing pain in her side. It wasn't bad—the monster's fangs hadn't been long enough to do much more than a few puncture wounds in her side, but that pain was nothing compared to the sinking, defeated feeling in her stomach. _If I hadn't ducked… _

The remaining Ceratoraptor seemed to think twice about attacking them now—its comrades were drifting away in the restless beat of the waves and it wouldn't have a chance against them; diving back into the grey waters, it disappeared from sight just as Lightning felt something more than mud and weeds scrape against the bottom of her boots.

Dripping wet, the only thing she wanted to do was to stay on the pebbly beachside and sleep, but the soldier sense inside knew that allowing them to remain exposed by the lakeside would only guarantee more monsters after them the moment night fell.

There was a clearer area about twenty feet inland that would have to do—her arms and legs felt like jelly and she doubted that anyone would be able to make it further—the clearing was ringed by a copse of trees that would at least prevent them from being seen outright from the other side of the lake. Gripping Hope's wrist to pull him along, Snow was also emerging with his tattered trench coat dripping as the pebbles crunched underfoot.

Finally collapsing under one of the trees that ringed the small clearing, it was a long time before any of them stopped gasping for breath to speak. "That went well." Snow was leaning against a tree trunk, arms crossed over his chest; even from where she was sitting, Lightning could see the scratch and teeth marks of the Ceratoraptors dragged across his arms.

"It could've gone better," Hope rasped from beside her.

"True. I mean, I could've done without that little brawl there with those fish… but it could've been worse. A lot worse." Snow finished the second sentence with a meaningful look in her direction, as if warning her to keep her mouth shut.

The stiff breeze was still blowing across the water as Lightning moved to settle herself on a fallen log in the middle of the clearing—it wasn't exactly warm, but her clothes were beginning to dry in the wind and she could feel her hair being tangled again into curls that draped over her left shoulder. "Well." Snow uncrossed his arms as he stretched, shaking out the cloth of the beige coat. "I'm gonna go look around, see if I can't find anything to eat."

She started to get up after him—for the sake of having something to do, before Snow wagged a finger in her face. "Ah ah… Sis, you look tired. Leave the hunting to the hero, aight?" With that, he turned to slouch away into the pine green of the forest before she could protest.

A timid tug on her arm made her turn around—the last thing she wanted to do right now was to talk to him, but deep down, Lightning knew that distancing herself from Hope would only make things worse than they were already. "Are you okay?" She had a hand wrapped around her abdomen, fingers and palm covering the marks left in her waist by the Ceratoraptors, but she wasn't going to worry him about that now.

"I should be asking you that," she mumbled lamely, not wanting to look directly at him. _I'm sorry. _

He pulled a hand under her chin, forcing her to look at him. "I'm fine," he insisted quietly, "Look, Light, it isn't even all that serious."

"But I—"

Hope stopped her before she could continue, an intense frustration lighting his emerald gaze that made her outburst stop somewhere at the back of her throat. "Light, if you hadn't ducked… it would've been a lot worse, okay? So stop before you start hating yourself for something else that isn't your fault."

Biting her bottom lip, she tried to squirm out from under his grip; that proved to be an impossible task because Hope's grip on her was anything but gentle—Lightning had to content herself with looking down because she didn't think she could hold his gaze for much longer.

"You told me," he began in a low voice, "that you didn't want me to get so caught up with looking after you. Remember?" When she didn't reply, he continued. "Why can't you see that _I _feel the same way? I don't want you throwing yourself into danger every time something's after me because that's the way you feel. How the hell d'you think _I'd_ feel if _you_ got yourself hurt—or worse, killed—because you were trying to protect me?"

She didn't have a response to that, because Lightning knew exactly how _she _would feel had she been in his shoes. _Can I really blame him for feeling the same way? _

"I don't want you to do that… okay?" She didn't think she was imaging the fear in his voice.

A pained whimper forcing its way past her throat, she found herself leaning forwards against his throat, still breathing heavily as she tried to use his steady heartbeat to calm her own. "I'm sorry," she mumbled again, voice muffled against him. She heard his low chuckle as his fingers combed lightly through her tangled, cherry coloured locks.

"Don't do it again… and I won't mention it anymore." Lightning could hear the effort it took him to keep his voice light, even though his tone was teasing; Hope lowered its volume as he continued. "I don't want repayment… or whatever you're thinking about right now. I want _you_ to stay safe." Taking a step back from him, she tried to accept what he was saying—she could _understand _it, even if she didn't like it. _But… he's had to accept things he didn't like either—remember, Farron? You forced him to go live with Snow because you thought that he needed a 'normal' life. If he was supposed to accept that, then… _

She didn't have to like it… but if she didn't want to jeopardize their relationship—the one that she had come so quickly to rely on—any further than she already had, she had to accept that. _I have to accept how he feels too. _

Something like the ghost of a smile quirked at the corner of her mouth. "Okay."

"Is that for real this time?" he asked her; she could hear the amusement mixed with frustration in his voice. "We've had this discussion three times in the last two days."

Lightning allowed the dry smile to widen. "Shut up before I change my mind."

* * *

Darkness claimed the forest like a shroud as the muted sounds of night pervaded through the pine forest. As exhausted as he was, Hope found that he couldn't sleep, even though they were 'safe'… for the time being. Dismissing all purpose of a watch when they were all so tired, Snow had long since fallen asleep against a fallen stump, arms crossed over his chest. He could take comfort in the fact that Lightning was curled on her side about a foot away from him, arm still draped over her stomach—only in sleep, provided that she wasn't having a nightmare, did she look like a young woman who might've known—really known—what the word 'happiness' meant.

But Hope wasn't going to lie to himself—finally getting certain concepts through to her proved to be more encouraging than he'd thought. It wasn't that she was stubbornly in denial or anything—there were just some beliefs so indentured into her brain that it took more than just effort to help her change them. _I don't want you dying for me. Ever. _

That was the one thought he knew he had to convince her of; it was selfish, maybe, but just like her, he didn't want to lose someone else that meant so much to him. Casting another glance at her sleeping form, Hope draped his right hand over his knee, _hoping_ that this afternoon would've finally convinced her otherwise. _I hope so._

* * *

**This chapter was originally meant to be longer, but I like how it ended here... so that's that. As Hope says, the 'closure' of certain facts is nice enough, no need for me to ruin it with the next plot point. n_n (I totally didn't just say that, whoopsie daisy)  
**

**Anyways, to be honest, I don't think the next chapter is gonna be up before Sunday; I'm pretty busy with work on Friday and Saturday (though the latter should give me some time to write for sure) but do expect some major action/awesomeness (I hope?) in Chapter 30! :3 I can't say for sure how much more there'll be, but we do have some _major_ things that need happening before your little 'happily ever after' (oops, my bad) comes along in the epilogue. ^w^  
**

**So leave a review, pretty please; let me know how I did (comments/critique always loved) and I'll see you soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	30. For Whom the Bell Tolls

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**Not too much for me to say this time, other than my apologies for the lateness of it (though I'm on time with this): I really wished I could've had more time to write because there were some aspects I wanted to do in one sitting to keep the atmosphere I had going...  
**

**Anyways. Much love and thanks go to: Jack Hargreave (no, you're right - that's something that'll have to be addressed soon, no?), H-thar (uh, it should be three - she doesn't count the one Hope's got cause she's not sure, whoopsie daisy. And hun, I really, really wish I could answer some of those questions. But... I can't. D: And thanks muchly for the grammar check!), Mylaervain (oh ho, you're so right about that! Sometimes it takes a lot for her to change how she thinks, ya know?), LawMan (oh, I so wish that were true, but sadly, that's not the case.), That One Reviewee (man, don't even talk about school - I don't want to see how much money this degree is leeching from me ._.), GKMader (oh, I so know what you mean - I always go through lines in my head to make sure I can hear them say it, otherwise it's not a line I'll put down. :D) You guys are awesome.  
**

**And without further ado, I present Chapter 30.**

* * *

Chapter 30: For Whom the Bell Tolls

A night of sleep hadn't exactly made her feel like she was any better off than she had been the day before: aches pulled at the muscles in her shoulder and back and when Lightning had pulled up her now-torn overcoat to examine the new puncture wounds that decorated her side, she winced at the sight of them. They weren't bad—but it was another thing she grudgingly had to add to her growing list of injuries. As things were, provided she didn't move too quickly, they didn't bother her. _But knowing our luck… I'll have to be, sooner or later. _

Casting a furtive glance back at Hope, she raked her hand through the unruly pink curls that had dried somewhat tangled over her left shoulder; checking that she still had her survival knife hooked into her belt and that her gunblade was stowed away safely, she crossed her arms over her chest to wait.

If she was going to be honest with herself, Lightning still wasn't sure about the vow she'd given him the night before—it went against how she felt and definitely went against how she'd always acted. _But I have to try to understand him too. _If there was one thing their argument had taught her, it was that she had to look at things from his perspective, too. _If I don't want to mess up even more, I have to understand that. _

"So." Snow stopped beside her, pulling on his leather gloves. "Let's get moving, aight?" Cracking his knuckles, he started off in the direction of the woods away from the peninsula they were still on before she could open her mouth to ask him where, exactly, they were headed. A timid tug came to her elbow.

"Let's go?" Hope was looking at her with a calm expectation—there was a tranquility to his emerald gaze that she hadn't seen for awhile, and suddenly, Lightning knew it was because of what she'd reassured him last night. Embarrassingly, she knew it made _her_ feel better that _he_ was happy about the fact; if nothing else, she would have to keep her word simply because she knew it reassured him. _Great. _

Their footsteps were still slow through the dried bracken and pine needles that littered the forest floor—none of them were still in a condition to adopt the brisk, silent pace that she would've normally liked to set; especially since she knew that it wouldn't be long before their enemies figured out that they'd found a way off the island and would begin looking for them in earnest again. But with Hope just behind her, Lightning found that she felt at least as normal as 'normal' was these days; there was still, that underlying fear and doubt that always lurked at the back of her mind, but with him _here_, it was easy to put it where it belonged—at the back of her mind—and focus on only what they needed to do.

Sure, it would come out at some weaker moment, just like it had back at the edge of the lake, but right now, it was muted and subdued—still a part of her, but definitely not the most dominant part of her, as it had been in those first couple of days. Lightning bit her lip, knowing that it was because of Hope in the first place that she could feel as she was right now. _And that means I still have to protect you… even if I promised that I wouldn't… _

Snow stopped abruptly just up ahead. "What's that?"

"What's what?" She couldn't see—or hear—anything, and Lightning direly hoped that it wasn't another one of Snow's jokes.

"_That_. Stop walking and listen."

Exchanging a dubious glance with Hope, she stopped, resting the palm of her right hand against a tree trunk. That was when she heard it—it was faint, barely audible over the sound of the wind, but it was there. _A bell? _It sounded something like it, but the sound sent shivers down the back of her neck—it pulled at some long buried memory, and it took her a few moments to remember why exactly it sounded so hauntingly familiar.

She'd heard it before. In a void of blackness illuminated by viridian crystals that reflected the light of some unknown moon, she'd heard it before. _But that's not—it can't be… _She heard Hope move closer to her. "Light?"

From the look on his face, it was clear he thought that the sound was associated with another one of her memories—true, but not in the way he was thinking. "No." Shaking her head slightly to reassure him, Lightning raised her left arm to stop him. "It's… we've heard it before. Remember? Back at the Pulse Vestige."

She watched the confusion on his face change to something else, a darker expression that consumed the serenity that she'd seen in his eyes perhaps twenty minutes ago, until his gaze was reminiscent of the one he'd given her so often under translucent leaves and metal bark back in the Gapra Whitewood. "That's not possible."

Snow flicked his gaze back towards where the sound was coming from, a grim expression on his face. "I think we should go check it out. I mean, it could be important, right?" Cracking his knuckles again by driving his hand into the other palm, Snow made a move to set off in the direction of the sound.

"Wait." She took a step towards him the moment he moved; the blond brawler looked back at her curiously, crossing his beefy arms over his chest for her to speak. "Are you sure this is what we should be doing?"

Snow gave her a skeptical look. "What're you talking about?"

"We're supposed to be finding the last stone…not go look around for whatever interests you," she argued, ignoring the hand Hope looped around her elbow. "If we got distracted every time we found something 'interesting', we'll never find it." Fighting to keep her voice under control, Lightning tried to resist the temptation to wrench the arm held captive in Hope's hand out of his grip to move forwards. _We don't have time for this! _

Snow heaved a sigh. "I get that, Sis, but the problem is we don't even know where to begin looking. There's no harm in just checking it out, right?" She wanted to argue—no matter how true Snow's words were—they _didn't_ know where to begin looking—they still didn't have time to be going around looking at every single aspect of Gran Pulse, no matter how ominous it was. "C'mon, Sis, please?" He was giving her a puppy dog look reminiscent of how he'd always looked when he was with Serah.

That thought crossed her mind before she could control it, and Lightning heard a faint gasp escape her lips before Hope's grip on her slid up to her upper arm. "What's wrong?"

Shaking her head, she pushed it away, the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach returning. "Nothing," she rasped quietly—Lightning could tell from the look on Hope's face that he hadn't been fooled, but she wasn't going to worry him with something so small.

"Light… we should take a look," he continued quietly. "I know… I know it's not our goal, but it could be important." Tentatively meeting his viridian gaze with her own, she found nothing but will for her to understand in their emerald depths. Exhaling a sigh through her nose, she relaxed slightly in his grip, taking a half step forward.

"Fine." She didn't like it, and part of her screamed to keep arguing, but she couldn't win when both of them wanted her to go.

Snow grinned at her. "I promise you won't regret this, Sis."

* * *

The grey, dismal sky only reflected the silence that greeted them as Lightning picked her way through the last strands of trees to look out onto a field—except the field wasn't made of grass, and the sight of it made dread and apprehension unfurl in her stomach.

They were looking at what might as well have been a graveyard; grey, smoke stained ruins decorated the clearing that the forest had given way to, and the few patches where grass _did_ grow were dark, almost black tufts of jagged plant material. In the distance, she could see the source of the sound that had echoed throughout the forest now—a lone bell tower, also streaked with soot and smoke, was in the distance, the metal eaten and rusted, waving slowly in the stiff autumn breeze.

Something wet brushed by her cheek; looking up, she realized that soft, tiny flakes were beginning to fall from the sky, landing on her palms, Lightning stood there for a few minutes, taking in the scene before them.

Taking a step forward, feeling centuries-old wood crumble underneath her boot, the scent of fire was still there, lingering in the remains of the Pulsian village, untouched by the centuries that it had lain unused. Somewhat reassured by Hope's presence by her shoulder, she took the first step into the boundaries of the ruins. _I don't like this… _She couldn't shake off the sense of unease even though he _was_ there, and her will only weakened when the snowfall became heavier.

Nobody spoke as they made their way into the village centre; stained by smoke and now by the icy flurries falling from the grey skies, it was awhile before anyone broke the silence that had settled over them. "Light?" Hope's timid voice came from her left—turning in his direction, she found him crouched over a stone marking next to a stone well. "Come here."

Afraid to move too quickly towards him because she was scared of disturbing something that she shouldn't be, Lightning could feel her heartbeat in her throat. Every creak in the wind and every snap under someone's foot felt like they were going to give her a heart attack—right now, they were all so exposed to not just the elements, but enemies alike. _I don't like this_, she repeated to herself.

Bending down to stop by what he was examining, Hope had already brushed off the thin layer of snow that lay over the stone. "Read that."

_The isle of Granend._

_Sealed by the Demon Blade Abhassara, it contains the power to connect this world to the next.  
Abhassara was forged by the masters of this village in times past—known to others as the "Umbra Gear"; it remains buried in this land for those who are powerful enough to reawaken it. _

There was nothing but silence as she read it silently to herself; a snowflake landed on the back of her neck, but she could no longer feel its coldness. "So it's a weapon," she finally hissed. "A weapon unlocks that island."

"I don't get it," Hope murmured beside her. "Why give it a false name? We all thought that the Umbra Gear was some sort of _thing_, some sort of equipment… not a weapon."

Trying to think through his question, Lightning reread the ancient Pulsian on the stone. "Think about it," she said quietly. "If it's a weapon that's that powerful, you'd want to keep it to yourself. Better to spread false rumours about it rather than the truth, right?" _But we need to find it. Whatever this Demon Blade is, we need it. _

The sound of ice being crushed under someone's foot alerted them to the arrival of Snow. "What are you two looking at?" Moving aside, she watched Snow's lips move silently as he read the stone for himself—but instead of feeling overwhelmed, as she was at the moment, she found that he was grinning at her. "See, Sis? I knew this place was gonna be important."

Lightning wanted to roll her eyes—it was just like Snow to be thinking about being _right_ as opposed to the enormity of the task in front of them.

And the enormity of the task was daunting indeed—how were they going to find the sword _and_ the last stone, provided that the legends were even true to begin with? _Gran Pulse is huge. _Staring around her, watching the tiny flakes land delicately on Hope's platinum bangs, she tried to think. The icy air around them cleared her head a little as Lightning closed her eyes, trying to mull through the little facts they'd been given, but had to work with.

"Okay," she breathed out finally. "_Okay._ Is there anything else you found?" _Please tell me there's something else here that's going to give us a hint of the right direction. _

Snow raised his palms in a gesture of innocence. "Search me, Sis. I found rock and ice, along with that rusted bell over there. You two seem to have found the important thing." Tromping through the gathering snowfall, the blond brawler shook off tiny flakes from his chin.

Unconsciously drawing closer to Hope, she tried to take in as much as she could of the scene around them. The centuries-old cloth that still remained on the remnants of the ruined houses seemed more fluid than solid—as though one gentle flick of a finger could send it into disintegration. In the falling snow, it was like the ruins were being buried under a shroud that tried to cover its ugliness. Lightning had been about to open her mouth to suggest that they moved on when a different sort of _crunch crunch_ sounded behind them, brushing over the frost-sheathed stems of grass.

Whipping around, her body tensed instinctively before her mind had even processed what was going on. "They're here!" The dark shapes so distinctively outlined in the pristine snowfall were ones she'd recognize anywhere—the Cie'th like Meurites that had the ability to use Ruin. She didn't even have the time to process the fact that they'd been found so quickly before the spell was flying towards them—dragging Hope backwards, ignoring the sharp flash of pain that tore through her hip; she almost tripped over a clump of snow covered plants in her desperate attempt to get them both out of range of the deadly spell. Images teemed in her mind—the mountain crossed with thunder and rainfall, and of how she'd only been saved last time because the phoenix in the glass orb had been about to take flight.

The Meurites were big—and slow—but that didn't matter: the range of their Ruins spells was deadly enough on its own. Crashing forwards in the snow, she was reassured that Hope was at her shoulder; there was no sense of direction anymore, because the Ruin tore at the settled flakes, turning the world into a conglomeration of ice and light. Even Snow seemed to realize that fighting against them all would be pointless—there were too many, and without magic of their own, they'd be hit by the Ruin spells before either of them could even get close. _If only… _

But the orb stuffed in her red pack was as silent and as cold as the frigid air around her—there would be no help from the phoenix today. Stumbling forwards blindly, Lightning wasn't aware of where they were going—the only concept in her mind was to get as far away from the range of those spells—until the dull peal of the bell became louder in the midst of the shrieks and groans of the monsters after them.

Stopping short as the bell tower became visible in the falling snow, she felt Hope stop just ahead of her. "There's nowhere else to go!" Flicking her gaze around their immediate surroundings, she realized with claws of anxiety and defeat sinking into her stomach that he was right—their way out of the ruined village was blocked by a low stone wall; none of them probably would have much trouble climbing it, but the truth was that they wouldn't make it before they were back in range of the Ruin spells… and she'd seen its potency for herself. _There has to be a way out!_

Desperation consuming her actions, Lightning turned her head back to gauge the distance in between them and the Meurites—they would be within range within the next few heartbeats if none of them did anything. _Maker, we're not going to make it—_

"Hey!" Snow's voice echoed loudly from within the bell tower. "In here, quick!" Barely pausing to exchange a glance with Hope, they barely made it. She could feel the inertia of the spell as it collided with stone and snowflakes, raining dust and ice on their heads.

The darkness of the bell tower was a stark contrast to the thickly falling white outside, as Lightning struggled to get used to the dim lighting inside; Snow was standing directly beneath the rusted bell, looking down. Pointing down, she saw that there was a narrow opening in the ground directly beneath the bell itself. "I can't see how far it goes down," he informed her hastily. "But it's better than becoming target practice, right?"

Biting down on her bottom lip, Lightning cast a glance backwards; she could see the Meurites through the opening that they'd slipped through to reach the interior of the bell tower—the worn stone would provide no more cover for them than had it been paper. Between jumping down the hole dug into the ground, and like Snow had said—being nothing but a target, she'd take the former. Giving him a brisk nod, she watched as he went first, the darkness consuming his burly frame just as the rock shook under the pressure of the spell being cast against it.

"Let's go!" Tugging Hope's left hand in hers, the icy, still air that rushed up to greet her felt damp and musty, as though it had been confined under the earth for who-knew how long, but what she was grateful for was the fact that the light that had streamed in from where they'd jumped was suddenly cut off as the stone tower collapsed under the power of the spells being cast against it. The darkness should've made her uneasy, but it had the opposite effect—Lightning knew that that would make it all the harder for their enemies to catch up to them… and even though it might've meant that they'd be trapped underground, it was better than the alternative.

* * *

Cold, wet rock under his fingers was the first thing he felt as Hope pulled himself into a sitting position. They were in almost complete darkness—only the faint blue light of some bioluminescent plant could be seen in the darkness… not nearly bright enough to make him sure of what he was seeing.

His fingers were trapped under someone else's.

The bright blue of Lightning's pauldron was visible in the darkness; using that as a guide to make his way towards her, he gently shook her shoulder. "Light. Light, wake up!" Hearing her faint groan of effort, Hope moved back to give her enough room to stand. His back met the cold, wet wall of the underground tunnel they were in as he tried to squint through the darkness.

"Where's Snow?" Her quiet, raspy question cut through the almost-ominous silence—there was nothing else here but the occasional sound of dripping water and the distant sound of something he _thought_ was more water.

A quiet scuffle to their immediate right almost had him reaching for his weapon before Snow's voice came from that direction. "I'm here. But the question is, _where _are we?"

Hope heard Lightning shift her weight on the rock beneath their feet. "It was _your_ idea," she accused, though there was no barb in her tone.

"Hey." He could almost imagine the abashed look on Snow's face. "You agreed to it. 'Sides, if I didn't find the place, we'd all be dead meat by now." When there was no retort to that statement, Snow cracked his knuckles. "There's no point in standing around in the dark… why don't we see where this goes?"

Feeling around in the darkness, Hope could make out that they were in some sort of enclosed tunnel—there was no way back and there was only one way forward. His fingers came to bump against the rotted, bumpy surface of what might've once been a ladder that led upwards in the direction they'd jumped from. There was no going back that way now—it was blocked by the rubble of the fallen bell tower and the ladder underneath his fingertips probably wouldn't have led their weights even if that had been a viable option. _But that means people have come down here before… right? _

Following the sound of Lightning and Snow's footsteps, he caught up to her within a few minutes—her footsteps were slightly uneven, as though she was favouring her right side. "What's wrong?"

Lightning almost started just in front of him until she realized it was him. "Maker, Hope," she muttered under her breath. "You scared me." Pointedly ignoring the question that he'd asked her, she continued walking, though he could now hear the slight hitch in her breathing with every other step she took.

"Okay," he breathed quietly enough so that Snow—who was ahead of them—couldn't hear him, though he felt as though every syllable was painfully being echoed—and magnified—off of the wet stone walls. "I can tell something's wrong… so don't hide it, okay?"

She was silent for another few heartbeats before she answered, her voice so quiet that he almost missed it. "Side," she mumbled.

For a moment, Hope was confused—she couldn't have taken that hard of a fall, could she?—until he remembered the way the monster had sunk its fangs into her waist the previous day, when she'd turned to attack the monster that had clung to his shoulder. The puncture wounds from the Ceratoraptor still stung, but he hadn't been using his left shoulder at all to begin with, whereas they'd been walking all day…

"Why didn't you say something sooner?"

He could imagine the glare she would be giving him had it been light enough to see. "I can deal with it, okay?" she hissed back before picking up the pace slightly as if to prove her point. Frustrated and worried, Hope chased after her, unconsciously splashing into a puddle of icy water in his efforts to keep up with her. _Light… _

He knew all too well that arguing with her wouldn't do him any good—however much else Lightning had changed since her sister's death, she was as stubborn as she had been before: once she set her mind to something—or some sentiment—it would take an inordinate amount of effort to change her mind. And in some ways, that aspect of her was admirable: it was one of the first things about her that had caught his attention in the Vile Peaks, and in other ways… Hope wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake her. Remembering the way that she'd insisted he told her if he was tired, or in need of a break back in the icy water of the lake, he couldn't help but compare that to now. You _need to rest too… you know. _But right now, she would only tell him to shut up before refusing to acknowledge him altogether, and an argument was the last thing they needed right now; trapped underground somewhere with only a vague idea of where they were, he didn't need her to be angry at him in the meantime.

The path in front of them was starting to be illuminated by a soft blue light—the shimmering, wet cave walls were beginning to become visible, and Hope could make out her silhouette just in front of him. Increasing his pace by perhaps half a pace, he silently offered his shoulder to her as support: Lightning's steps were still uneven, and he could now see that she was putting most of her weight on her right side.

She tensed for a few heartbeats, clearly wondering—or debating with herself—whether or not to accept his silent offer of help before she allowed it; feeling some of her weight leaning against his shoulder, Hope tried to assuage the rising concern in his chest: now wasn't the time or place for it, but the wounds on her hip needed attention sooner or later, before it became something much worse.

The brilliant blue that bathed the area in front of them confused him for a moment, until Hope realized that they were looking out across an underground lake; speckled with light that came in from crevices he couldn't see, he realized that the water spread in front of them was the source of the other sound he'd heard back in the tunnel—the low rush of water against rocks. Snow was somewhere further down, poking through the remarkably clear water with a stick of rotten wood, creating ripples across the surface.

Pushing herself off of his side, Hope wanted to stop her as she made her way towards the lone pathway that threaded above the clear water, even though he knew she wouldn't thank him for his concern just now. Picking his way around the rocks to follow her, he saw her stop in front of a rounded, smooth stone—too smooth to be natural.

Taking in the lake scenery around them, it was remarkably light for a body of water underground—the surface of the water had the slightest rippled across it, as though stirred to life by a breeze they couldn't see. But the air was still around them: no gust of wind disturbed the air, though it tasted fresh for a cavern under the earth. "This place creeps me out," he heard Snow mutter from behind them somewhere; still holding the rotten length of stick in his hand, he trailed the tip of the wood on the surface of the water. "How can a place like this exist underground?"

Hope could see what he meant—the lake looked manufactured; even if the water had been natural, collected under the stone after years and years of rain and snow, the paths that led across it weren't. _But… people used to come here, right? There was that ladder back there… _

"Look at this." Lightning's hoarse rasp came from in front of them as she bent—gingerly, as he noticed—in front of the rock she'd stopped in front of earlier. Edging closer to her, mindful of the narrow path and the almost perfectly clear lake water that he somehow knew concealed its true depths, Hope stopped behind her.

On the rock was carved a map of Gran Pulse—it wasn't complete in any way, but he thought he recognized some places drawn onto it. The Archylte Steppe was obvious; spread across the northeastern corner of the map, he would've recognized the expanse of grass anywhere. Trailing his eyes down past the Yaschas Massif and the mountains that Oerba was located on, Hope thought he recognized some of the places… a desert, the mountains connected to a moor. _Is this… _

Following her slender finger as she gently touched the stone, he watched her forefinger stop on a small groove carved into the stone. "This was where… I found the stone." The small mark was carved into what appeared to him like a forest; dragging his gaze upwards, he found the mountain range that decorated the middle of the stone map.

"Is this where you found us?" When she nodded, Hope swept his gaze up, frantically searching for the confirmation that he somehow already knew. The same mark was carved into the stone on another mountain range to the northwest of the one he'd been looking at. _That means… _He found his fingers trailing down into the sling that held his weapon and the small metal container, skin brushing the cold metal that enclosed what he now knew to be the second stone.

_I have to make it work for me. _He'd seen the deadly power that the small glass sphere that Lightning held had—and how it gave her access to her own magic in the time that it remained present. He didn't know how he was supposed to open it, and now that he'd confirmed what it was, Hope was even more desperate to figure out how he was supposed to get the metal casing to open for him.

Sudden understanding swept over him like a blade. "Wait," he rasped, searching her expression for the realization that had already come to her. "That means…"

Frantic glances over the worn, centuries-old stone proved to be fruitless—with his heartbeat pounding in his throat, Hope knew he needed to calm down before he could begin to search for the third marking that would denote the location of the third stone: panicking and growing desperate weren't going to help him find the tiny marking.

She found it before he did. "There!" Jabbing a slim finger to a spot in the very bottom left corner of the map, her fingernail scraped over the small marking that had been carved into the stone. There were no names on the map, but he didn't need any—he didn't need to be an expert to know that that particular location was far from them.

Meeting Lightning's ice blue gaze, he found relief in her solemn, composed ice blue eyes. Her fingers lingered over the back of his palm for a few heartbeats before she pushed herself back into a standing position; not missing the slight wince that crossed her expression as she did so, he stopped her as she tried to move away. "Show me," he insisted quietly.

Her expression hardened instantly—but Hope wasn't going to back down so easily from her glare. "Light…" She held his gaze—a silent challenge—for a few moments; moments that could've lasted just that, or stretched on for something like an eternity, borne on wings that could never stop beating, until she finally relaxed, fingers gently lifting the side of her overcoat to reveal the skin underneath.

Hope wanted to swallow the moment the skin was visible—he could clearly make out the bite marks of the Ceratoraptors… along with the obvious thin cuts where she'd tried to wrench herself free; the skin inflamed and with blood still beading at the edges of it from the exertion she'd put on herself today, it was a miracle it wasn't already infected. _But it will be, soon, if she keeps this up._

Biting the bottom of his lip, he knew they didn't have a choice but to keep going—and Lightning would insist on it, at any rate. "Don't overdo it, okay?" he warned her; when she nodded and turned away, Hope couldn't help but wonder whether she would actually listen.

But there was nothing for it now—they _had_ to keep going if any of them wanted to make it out alive: he could only hope there would be a chance for them to rest sooner or later.

The wet stone twisted far in front of them into the depths of the lake; they found Snow scratching the back of his head as the path submerged into water—though clear, Hope knew it was much deeper than it looked, and with all of them injured and exhausted as it was, swimming was out of the question. _What do we do now? _

He hadn't realized that he'd voiced that particular question out loud until Snow cracked his knuckles. "Well, nothing for it. We just gotta improvise." Pointing a finger at the stretch of water to their right, he gestured towards the small stones that were slick with lake water. "We'll have to hop on those."

Hope saw Lightning narrow her eyes at the prospect—the stones weren't that much bigger than his foot—one foot—and he severely doubted that they would hold much weight; Lightning's maybe, but no one else's. _Certainly not Snow's. _But they had no other alternative other than swimming, which he knew would be suicide just now.

Gingerly putting a foot onto the stone, Hope found it solid enough to hold the weight that he was putting on it even though he was sure it would collapse the moment he used it to jump to the next one. Precarious stone by stone, the other side of the path that picked up out of the lake water was within reach when Lightning fisted his back. "Keep going," she murmured quietly. "The rock won't hold our weight for much longer."

The moment his foot made contact with the drier path that picked up again on the other side of the water, he felt her lean her head to rest between his shoulder blades; Hope could tell she was in pain—her breathing had a hitch to it as she breathed out and it was heavier than she probably would've wanted it to be. _But she'll only snap at me if I ask her if she wants a break…_

Frustrated that her concern extended to everyone else except for herself, the only thing he could do was to make sure she didn't do anything else dangerous before they could get her hip looked at. She accepted his offer of help willingly enough—proof that she _needed_ it— as the lightness of the lake was swallowed by the darkness that greeted them the moment the path twisted into darkness that led them somewhere else. _How far do we have to walk? _

But his question was short-lived—there was light already glimmering in the distance ahead of them and it wasn't long before they stood in a small cavern, overgrown with vines and weeds from which small white flowers that he had no name for bloomed, even in the darkness that surrounded the place. Looking up, Hope could see the lightness of the grey sky above head—they had to have reached somewhere else that opened aboveground… though he couldn't see any way for them to get up.

That wasn't the only thing that occupied the small cavern though; the moment Snow ripped away some of the plant growth that had pervaded the small space that wasn't occupied by the rock walls surrounding them, Hope felt Lightning tense beside him. "That's—"

He could see what she was looking at in an instant: a rusted, twisted blade half embedded into the rock before them. Snow reached it before they did, a grin spreading on his face. "Score." Shooting a glance backwards, he smirked at them. "See, Sis, you should listen to me all the time. See how informative my hunch's been already?"

But perhaps it was tantamount to just how much they'd been through when Lightning didn't rise to the bait, only raising an eyebrow to watch Snow struggle to pull it out of the rock. Both hands clamped around the rusted, worn handle, Hope could see the effort it was taking him—but the rusted sword didn't budge. Like trying to pull a needle out of dried concrete, the weapon seemed determined to resist the blond brawler's attempts to remove it from the rock.

Finally giving up in defeat, Snow turned back to them. "You try." Highly doubting that one of them would succeed when he hadn't, he watched the fighter prod Lightning up to the weapon; closing her fingers around it, she wasn't as dramatic as Snow had been, but the effort was obvious—the skin around her fingernails was white and he could see the strain in her upper arms.

"I can't." Meeting his gaze, Hope saw his doubt and apprehension mirrored in her aquamarine gaze. _If none of us can pull it out… how are we going to… _

A rough shove to his back made him stumble: Snow had given him a prod in the direction of the rusted weapon and he knew the intent behind it all too well. "I don't think—" _If you two couldn't move it, what makes you think _I'll _be able to? _But Hope knew he would have to try… and if by some freak accident he _did_ pull it out, then they would only have one more thing left to do.

The cold metal of the rusted sword felt smooth against his hands as he gripped the part of the sword that poked above the rock. But it didn't feel remarkably heavy—or otherwise immovable, because somehow, it felt _right_ in his hands.

Hope had only just removed it from the rock when a different sound came from behind them.

"Good. Now, give that to me."

* * *

***rubs hands excitedly* I'm pretty excited about the next couple of chapters, even though you might not be (erm, more on that later); they should be pretty fun to go through, and there's a moment in particular I'm looking forward to. n_n  
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**So hopefully this chapter was pretty self-explanatory in terms of events, nothing I need to address specifically, right? As always, I'm lazy - would rather not comb through all 12 pages of this on MS Word 2010 for those typos and whatnot, so if you noticed any, please let me know!  
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**I wish I had more time to write this coming week, I really do, but things don't work that way. I'm hoping to get at least one chapter out by Wednesday or Thursday, as I know I'll be busy on the long weekend holiday as well. *sighs* My private time with Light and Hope dwindles faster as I get closer to the dreaded date of September 4th, it seems. Anyways, leave some love, pretty please, and I'll catch you all next time!  
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**Hearts!  
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	31. Nocturna Suppressio

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
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**Bah, you have no idea how much trouble this chapter's caused me. I did start on it Sunday evening, only to have my laptop crash on me sometime Monday evening. I spent about three hours just cursing at the thing, and in the time that it took my dad to fix the laptop, I finished off the first chapter of that XIII-2 fic I mentioned a few chapters ago? Yeah, that's posted now, but I won't be working on it till I can dish Hope and Light their happy ending in this one (but I'd love you to bits and pieces if you checked it out and let me know what you think? :3). *nods sagely*  
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**Anyways, my love goes to H-thar (oh hon, no worries at all - I love your reviews! Unfortunately most of your questions'll have to wait, but I will say _yes_, finally! You know, Light's got a soft spot for Hope for a reason... haha, though that might go down the drain in a bit. *sadface*), Saccharo (thank you very much! That honestly made my day and I will try not to disappoint!), That random guy (haha, I wonder? :p), That One Reviewee (you are... psychic? I don't know, but you'll see! And yeah, I know, but Light's got a habit of blaming herself, you know?), GKMader (I swear that's what everyone was thinking. *seriousface* and yeah, urgh, school - went to pick up my textbooks today. One lovely giant cardboard box, isn't that great?), and Mylaervain (that is indeed what Hope _should _have done...)! Thank you all so much!  
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**And to my awesome bf and That One Reviewee, I know I promised you guys would get to read this chapter beforehand, but the truth was I was pretty stoked about _finally_ finishing it so I decided to just post it. Forgive me? *kneels*  
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**As always, please enjoy! (:**

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Chapter 31: Nocturna Suppressio

Whipping around, Lightning spotted what her mind already knew—the tattered, reptilian wings that were hidden now by the darkness and the fallen snow on the plants that surrounded them. The snakelike face stood out sharply against the darkness, slitted eyes glowing like a cat's. "Give that to me," he repeated quietly, not taking those eyes off of Hope.

Moving so that her body barred the Meurite's direct way to him, she reached behind her legs for her gunblade, ignoring the throbbing in her side that had grown worse with the running and the fall they'd taken down the bell tower. _Don't do it!_ She wanted to scream that out loud, but it was a fact that Hope already knew. The demon blade held tight in one of his hands, she had no idea why he'd been able to pull it when nobody else had been; there would be a time to think through that later, but right now, she could be thankful that he _had_—and now that they actually had the sword in their possession, there was no way they'd be giving it up without a fight. _But he knows that. _She heard Snow draw level to her, tightening his fists into his usual attack position as they faced the enemy.

"No one needs to get hurt if you give the weapon to me," Arturo insisted quietly, opening a palm in a gesture of beckoning.

"You knew it was here, didn't you?" she hissed at him. "Why'd you wait until we found it before coming after it? You could've gotten it without a fight before, couldn't you?"

A small smile was spreading on his face. "For someone who's supposed to be oh-so smart… you're remarkably ignorant. That sword was designed for human use only!" he suddenly raged, anger making his words come out in hissing spits that made him sound all the more like the reptile his body had been shaped after. "Humans with power! That's why _he_," accenting the pronoun with heavy emphasis, pointing a clawed finger at Hope, "was able to pull it out! And _you_," he accused, "_you_ took the phoenix summonstone from that Anabrahka temple because you were human! Don't you see?"

She _did _see—that he clearly thought it wasn't fair that every single artifact of power was designed for human use. Lightning had been about to open her mouth to retort, when rethinking his lines dragged up a memory she would've preferred to forget. She couldn't remember the exact lines, but the notion of 'equality' tugged at the conversation she'd had in the very last moment of her last fight… that there would always be someone who wanted to take advantage of people, that there would always be someone who wouldn't be happy with the way the world was organized.

She also remembered the one response she'd given to that question. _I'll fight. _

Hope spoke before she could spit out something in response to the questions being flung at them. "But if you tried to understand us, we wouldn't be fighting for something that we wouldn't have had any interest in to begin with."

"_Understand?_" seethed the Meurite—clearly, his composition had been blown the moment they'd touched on the subject of 'equality'. "What's there to understand? Your race believes it's superior to mine, that we should all be wiped out because we're no better than monsters. Isn't that the message your command in that capital city of yours has been telling us all this time? Even as we speak, they're fighting a war. A war that we'll _win_, sooner or later," he added.

_No! _Stepping forwards, Lightning pulled the omega weapon back into gun mode, aiming it at his head. "You think that by fighting… you'll get everything you want?" _I don't know if I believe in 'understanding' myself… but in front of him, I can't show that. _

"_Yes_," he hissed at her. "At least I'll be making sure that humans won't be parading around like they're used to doing! Now," forcing his tone into an icy calm, she watched the Meurite rein in his anger and frustration. "Give me the sword."

The bullet she fired missed, as the reptilian wings flapped upwards whipping the snow around them into dazzling icy flakes caught in a sudden breeze; dodging the first swipe of extended claws from the scaly hands, Lightning flicked her gaze back towards Hope; he'd picked up the sword in the hand he'd used to pull it out, but she knew he wouldn't know how to use it even if it had been a weapon that _could've _been used. Part of her wanted to scream at him to grab the sword and run… but that part of her that knew him knew that he wouldn't do it, even if there had been a place for him to go. The only way that he could run now was back to the lake… but with Meurite effectively blocking the way back, she couldn't even guarantee that she could create enough of an opening for him to accomplish _that_. _Get yourself together, Farron—he needs to get out of here!_

Closing the distance between her and the Meurite, she flipped the gunblade back into sword position, raising it along with her right arm just in case she needed to slash something. Nearly slipping on the rock, Lightning realized with frustration that the ground was covered in snow and fallen leaves alike—it would be no problem for _him_, because he could fly, but for them, it could prove disastrous if they slipped and fell. _A sitting duck. _

Refusal to become the prey and determination to _not_ let Arturo get to Hope fueling her actions, the pain in her hip didn't even register as she met the claws straight on, finding, to her surprise, that it was remarkably easy to push him back. There was no raw power in the force he was exerting on her weapon even though she knew he was fighting the strength she was putting behind the weapon, and she saw the slitted reptilian eyes widen slightly at the force she was still able to put into the blow. "I got this, Sis!"

Snow's voice was coming from somewhere ahead of her—realizing that he was coming up behind the Meurite, she held her position… for once, the blond brawler had actually decided to put some thought into the battle. But Snow's fist punched through thin air as Meurite suddenly extended his wings to fly upwards, energy forming in one hand. She knew what was coming all too well, but Lightning didn't have any time to react or to shift position when the grey ball of light struck the ground where Snow was standing, knocking him off his feet.

Jerking her gaze upwards and stumbling back to reposition herself in front of Hope, who still held the sword loosely in one hand, she followed the Meurite's actions as he flew towards them—Snow hadn't gotten up yet, though she could see his efforts to clamber upright again.

But the blow—or the magic—she'd been anticipating didn't come, as the Meurite stopped short before them. "I'll say it one last time," he maintained, "give me the sword… and I won't have to hurt anyone else." But the words weren't directed at her, they were directed at Hope—Lightning couldn't make out his expression from where she was standing, but she _hoped_ that he wasn't actually considering giving it to him. _We need it! _Willing him not to do something stupid for her sake, she held her ground, not taking her eyes of the Meurite that had paused to wait for a response.

Hope's silence—whether it was in defiance or hesitation, she didn't know— was apparently all the Meurite needed to hear. Moving forward in the next heartbeat with the inhuman speed she'd known they possessed since day one, something like energy was slammed into her chest, pushing her back against the stone wall that had been behind her with unnatural force. The impact elicited a hoarse cry from her lips—one that was echoed by Hope when he realized what'd happened.

Lightning was able to keep her eyes open long enough to watch the Meurite make a grab for the sword, only to be repelled by some force she couldn't see—or had the ability to figure out through the cotton balls that had instantly gathered in her mind—before darkness dragged her under into its unforgiving depths.

_Hope…_

* * *

The sound of dripping was back.

For a moment, Hope was scared he'd become trapped in one of his nightmares, unable to escape… and that thought terrified him until he realized that there was a weight still clenched tightly in his hand—something cold and smooth. _Wait… _

Eyes blinking open into darkness pierced with silvery light reflected off of tiny, frozen flakes, it took him a few heartbeats to get a grip on his surroundings. The dripping wasn't from a source he couldn't identify; it was coming from the water that steadily gathered at the edges of the cavern walls, and the contrast of light and darkness that existed on an equal plane was coming from the grey light reflected off the gathered snow that had fallen from above. _But it wasn't this bright before… right? _

Trying to make sense of what had happened, he looked up—the opening to the sky above was definitely much bigger than it had been before… though he couldn't remember why that had happened. _Weren't we fighting? He wanted the sword—_Light_!_ Remembering her hoarse cry of pain when she'd gotten hit, he wanted to cover his ears to drown out the sound, even though he knew it was a part of his memories… unable to be touched by anything physical he wanted to do to it.

The sound of slow footsteps splashing against damp rock sent new tension into his muscles as he struggled to get to his feet, fingering for the boomerang he knew was somewhere. The panic was only intensified when Hope realized that he couldn't see her around him—Lightning wasn't half buried under the snow nor was she concealed by the darkness… which would have been preferable to the fears that were currently storming through his mind. The scrape of metal against wet stone made him look down: the sword in question was still at his side; rusted and decrepit looking, he couldn't see how it could possibly be the weapon that they needed to open the gate in Granend.

"Oh… hey. You're up." Snow's voice broke through the darkness as the blond brawler came into view—purpling bruises decorating one cheek, the fighter wasn't particularly proficient at hiding his limp as he made his way into the watery light. Hope noticed that his usual tattered trench coat was missing, revealing the long-sleeved black and white shirt he wore underneath it. "Sorry, didn't mean to leave you; just thought it'd probably be better if we weren't out in the open like this." Catching the expression on his face, he heaved a sigh. "Sis's alive… don't worry."

Hope didn't miss the tone at the end of that particular sentence. _Alive? But—_

"C'mon," Snow urged, keeping his voice carefully flat. "Let's get outta here… I already moved her." Numbly following the brawler as he made his way back towards the underground lake, Hope tried to keep the thoughts and images out of his mind… but he realized that it probably would've been easy to saw off his own legs rather than shove them away; giving up when he realized the endeavor was fruitless, he tried to concentrate on keeping his breathing controlled—it didn't exactly work either, but it kept enough of his mental functions focussed on that one thing rather than let it play with him.

The faint sound of rushing water grew louder in his ears as they approached the waterside… spotting her curled on her side, Hope felt something icy seize his chest when the position reminded him of how _he'd_ wanted to remain after those terrifying moments in the Hanging Edge. The fact that Snow's ridiculously tattered coat was wrapped around her like a blanket didn't even register… but he couldn't make his body go faster than it already was—he'd pushed himself to the limit already and the fact that Snow hadn't tried to comfort him only spoke too loudly to the fact that Lightning could be—and probably was—seriously injured. Her pained cry rang again through his mind; he wanted to shrink away from it more than anything, even though Hope knew that was impossible.

"Light…" He sounded like someone was strangling him, forcing the name from his lips, but in reality, he was afraid that just _saying_ her name would somehow cause her to disappear. As it was, he was almost afraid to touch her—her skin, apart from the slight tinge of pink on her cheeks and down her neck, was deathly pale. But when he reached for her hand, her palm was warm—too warm—though her fingertips were cold. There was no outright trace of blood though; the scarlet stain that he'd been dreading wasn't marked into the front of her overcoat and there seemed to be nothing _wrong_ with her. _But why's she… _

Snow cleared his throat quietly behind him. "I'm not a doctor, but I think… she's hurt internally, you know? She was slammed into that wall pretty hard, and—"

Hope wanted to tell Snow to stop—but he could imagine exactly how it had happened. _Because she was in the way. He didn't need to hurt her… he wanted to show me that he _could_ because I wouldn't give him the sword… _

_But she wouldn't have wanted you to give it to him, _chimed the small voice at the back of his head; Hope wanted to strangle it—that didn't change the fact that she was still hurt, but grudgingly, he had to accept that she would've hated him—and herself—if he'd given the Meurite the sword because it had been threatening her. _That still doesn't change… _

The weapon in question was lying uselessly on the ground near them; he didn't want to even _look_ at it anymore… for all the trouble it had caused them, it was almost not worth it. Settling himself near her shoulders, Hope tried to force the words past the sandpaper in his throat. "What happened?"

Snow had picked up the sword; apparently, it was only 'special' for him, as the Meurite had put it, when it came to pulling it out of the rock, because the burly blond was holding it quite easily in his hands now as he inspected it. Turning around, the brawler shot him an incredulous look. "You mean you don't know?"

Hope tried to think back, but the memories were hazy—the last thing he remembered clearly was shouting her name after he'd realized she'd gotten hit, but the rest of what happened was something of a blur; there, and it was almost like he could stretch his fingers towards it, but like the air that played with the flowers in springtime, it danced away before he could close his fist around it. Shaking his head, he watched Snow stab the tip of the weapon into the stone before sitting down on the rock himself.

Scratching his chin, Snow looked up at the dark stone of the cavern ceiling, where little flecks of light reflected off the water's surface were playing. "Well, don't really know what happened myself… but I _think_ you used the sword to fight him off?"

Hope stared at the blond brawler before he realized that Snow was serious. "I… What?" _That's not possible. _He couldn't remember picking up the sword to fight in any way… not that he knew how to use a sword to begin with.

"You really don't remember?" Rubbing the back of his neck, Snow gave his head a shake. "Well, I could've been wrong," he rectified, "but I know that the moment he tried to touch you, or grab the sword, or whatever, he couldn't. He backed off like he'd been burnt or something... you sure you don't remember this?"

But Hope was fairly sure he hadn't done anything of the sort—he couldn't remember even picking up the sword to defend himself and the suggestion that he'd used it somehow to protect himself was ridiculous. _If I'd known how to use it, I'd have used it before that… _"I... don't think so."

Snow raised an eyebrow—a skeptical look. "Well, I'm pretty sure you _did_. Sure you can't remember performing any hocus-pocus on the asshole?"

Shaking his head, Hope watched Snow dust himself off before clumsily getting to his feet. "Well, whether you remember or not, it's a good thing you did, cause I don't think we would've made it out alive if you didn't. I'm going to take a look around," the brawler declared. "See if I can't find a way outta here. Gimme a shout if Sis wakes up, aight?"

Snow disappeared into the darkness before Hope could stop him, the swish of his sky-blue scarf being swallowed by the black that pressed around them like a thickly clinging blanket.

* * *

Time seemed to drag on in an unending silence, like an unrestrained river that kept flowing even though there were things in the way that wanted to stop its flow. Snow's snores near the gentle ripples of the waves that lapped at the water's edge were a welcome distraction to the ugly reality that Hope could've sworn was a nightmare. _Maker, if this really is a nightmare, please let me wake up soon… _

But it wasn't—and he knew that. The slight fever he'd noticed this afternoon was steadily rising, and he could _hear _her laboured breathing now. There was nothing he could do to ease that—there were no external physical wounds that would allow him to at least assuage _some_ of her discomfort; Snow's words from earlier in the afternoon echoed in his mind. _"I think… she's hurt internally, you know?"_

He didn't want to imagine it—and for all of Snow's good intentions, the blond brawler had caved in to his exhaustion—but the possibilities were endless: the impact could've broken one of her ribs that could've punctured a lung, she could be bleeding internally, which would kill her eventually… if that was the case. Hope wanted to whimper and cry like a lost child—here he was, utterly helpless when she needed him, and there was nothing he could do about it. _Maker, you can't have her… Please tell me she's not going to die… _

The old fears were back, coupled with the memories from the Hanging Edge that he wanted nothing more than to forget—but this time, she was _right here_… and there was nothing he could do. He was scared that every shallow breath would be her last, even as he tried to reassure himself that Lightning wouldn't allow that to happen… that she was too strong to let something like that claim her. _"She's human too." _He couldn't keep the memory from his mind.

"…Hope?"

The word was barely audible, riding on a faint breath in which he could hear the effort. As weak as the attempt was, a desperate panic flared in his chest as the slightest pressure closed around his fingers. "I'm here." The words sounded as broken as he felt.

"He didn't… get the sword?"

_Even like this… she can't forget what we came here for. _"No." Willing himself to sound stronger—for her, if not for himself—Hope felt her relax slightly from her propped up position beside him against a rock.

"Good." He was afraid to push the bangs that fell into her eyes to the side; afraid of the heat he knew her forehead would hold, and afraid of the pain and utter exhaustion that he knew would glaze her eyes.

Afraid to look at her, Hope found himself looking at the soft shimmering of the moonlight on the surface of the water. "Light… please don't—"

"Die?" she supplied faintly. "I've… heard." Leaning her forehead into his shoulder, he could feel her fever through the cloth of the shirt he was wearing. Ignoring his flinch at her words, he could hear her efforts to keep breathing steadily.

"Don't," he murmured against her hair. _Please don't leave me… _Remaining still, afraid to jostle her, they remained that way for a long time, until Hope was afraid she'd fallen unconscious again. "Light?"

He was almost surprised to hear her answer. "Mmhm?" Swallowing at the sound of her barely-audible voice, Hope almost wasn't sure that the words he wanted to say were going to be the right ones.

"Stay awake, okay?" he urged, afraid that once she closed her eyes, she would never open them again. Wanting nothing more than for her to reassure him that she would be okay—he wanted to hear her _say it_… that she would be okay; it was childish… and selfish in more ways than one—and maybe it was, stemmed from the reassurance he'd always been searching for on their journey, but at this moment, his fear overrode those particular feelings.

Her response was a faint hum that he almost missed over the sound of the water. Pushing back sweaty strands of pink hair over her ear, he wanted to ease the pain that was wracking her slender frame; resting his chin lightly on the top of her head, Hope couldn't control the burn at the back of his throat when he thought about—really thought about—how delicate life really was; the young woman in front of him was someone he'd always counted on to be strong… and in her strength, she'd somehow convinced him that she could fight through anything; an illusion that had been broken once… and now only reinforced as the images from this afternoon teemed in his mind.

It didn't matter if she thought he'd done the right thing—keeping the sword. The fact still remained that she still could die, and Hope couldn't get the words out of his head. _"If you give me the sword now… no one else needs to get hurt." I wanted to. _He'd known that the Meurite would go for her next, but his knowledge that she would never forgive him for putting her in front of what they had to do had warred with his desire to protect, causing the hesitation that had resulted in all of this. _I'm sorry… _

He wanted to apologize, but he knew that she would only get angry at him for it. Trying to shelve it to the back of his mind, Hope tried to concentrate on the fact that they had to get out of here… somehow, first. _There'll be a time to apologize later… right? _He refused to let himself consider the alternative. _There has to be. _

Remaining in that position, her cheek to his shoulder, he was afraid to move, afraid that even the slightest motion would make her worse than she already was. Through the delicate contact that they were maintaining, he could feel her heartbeat—it was too fast although it was steady, and that worried him. Refusing to let himself give into exhaustion for fear that if _he_ fell asleep, he would somehow miss the moment that something else would happen to her, Hope tried to keep his mind occupied enough to keep himself awake.

Thinking about the events that had led up to what had happened helped—he still didn't know, exactly, what had happened after he'd picked up the rusted sword. _It's not that I think Snow is lying… but why can't I remember any of it? _He didn't remember using the weapon and he definitely didn't recall using magic of any type.

_I know… I know he said I was able to pick it up _because_ I had a high magic potential, but… _The events after Lightning had gotten hit were a blur—he didn't remember attacking and he didn't know how he'd ended up on the ground afterwards. Staring at the weapon Snow had left stuck into the rock, the black blade glimmered dully in the faint light: it didn't look like a special weapon to him at all… certainly not one that looked like it would be able to seal the chaos they'd encountered at Granend. _Can it really… _

He wanted to believe it—wanted to believe that it could help them. But after everything that it had cost them to acquire, he almost wasn't sure about using it anymore. The blade's light was anything but comforting: it was black in the dim light and that only went to underline the fact that it was associated with some sort of chaos. _Maybe that's a little childish, but still… _Hope didn't want to hold it anymore and he definitely didn't want to use it in the near future. The dull gleam of the handle that was splashed with the watery patterns of the lake's surface turned the waves of continuous exhaustion into sleep.

* * *

The loud noise of a distant splash brought the blissfully nightmare-free blackness grinding to a halt, as Hope woke to the sound of Snow's indignant yell echoing through the cavern. For a moment, he was confused—the events of the previous day hadn't quite caught up with his body until he remembered who the weight resting on his shoulder was. _Light!_

Pressing the back of his palm to her cheek, he found her temperature no lower than the previous day's—though he couldn't see an obvious sign that she was worse, she wasn't better: only her cheeks held the faintest tinge of colour despite the fever she was running.

"Oh. You're awake," Snow emerged from the dim light of the cavern, pants soaked up to the calf as Hope eyed him suspiciously. Catching the look, he shrugged. "Wanted to see if there was food in the water."

Hope wanted to groan with exasperation—why would there be something _living_ in the underground lake? Though the water was clear, there was no plant life underwater to provide any sort of nutrients even if some sort of creature _wanted_ to make the lake its home. The frustration reaching past his worries, he decided to humour the brawler anyways. "So is there?"

"No." Snow crossed his arms over his chest. "But listen. About that. I think we really need to contact the military."

For a moment, Hope wasn't sure if he'd heard properly. When he realized that Snow was looking at him with an expectant look in his ocean blue eyes, he realized that the burly blond hadn't been joking. "Are you serious? We've been trying to do that from day _one_. Don't—"

Snow raised his palms in a gesture of peace. 'W-Wait," he spluttered, indignant. "You don't get it; I _know_ that. But I think we can all agree that we could do with some help and that Sis needs to be looked at… soon." Pausing to let his words sink in, he went on when Hope shut his mouth. "Look, I know you don't like that creep scientist, whatever his name is, but we need—"

"I _know_ that," Hope tried to keep the irritation from his voice. "This isn't about me, or who I like, or whatever, and I _know_ that we need to get someone for Light, but how are we going to contact the military from here?"

He'd expected the obvious flaw in Snow's plan to stop the big blond in his tracks, but to Hope's surprise, Snow was still grinning. "Simple. We fix _this_." Holding up what looked at first glance to be a piece of scrap metal, and on closer inspection to be the locator they'd been issued upon being first sent to the mountains, Hope tried to resist the urge to groan again.

"Haven't we tried fixing that already?"

Snow swung it back and forth between two fingers. "But we didn't have the right stuff back then. Look, I know what I'm talking about, okay? There was some useful stuff in that village up there—I say we go up from where we found the sword and go back there, fix this up, and then work from there." Catching the dubious look Hope was giving him, Snow stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Kid, Sis ain't getting any better and being down here in some cave sure isn't helping."

That stopped the argument that wanted to rise at the back of his throat… because however else Hope doubted that Snow's proposal would actually work, what he couldn't deny was that Lightning _needed_ to be looked at by someone _before_ things could get worse. _And it's not like I have a better one… right? _But Snow had touched on an issue he hadn't had the time to think about—"_I know you don't like that creep scientist." _

_That_ was true… and whatever else he might've felt about the preposition, Hope knew that he felt uneasy at the thought of Carmine getting his hands on the sword. _I don't know… it just—it just doesn't feel like a good idea. _But there was no alternative—if he wanted Lightning to be okay, and if they wanted to get to the location of the last stone then they _needed… _"Fine."

Snow grinned. "See, I knew you'd see it my way." Scooping up Lightning in one fluid movement, Snow set off back up the path to the cavern with his blue scarf swishing in the darkness; stumbling after him, remembering only at the last moment to snag the sword still stuck into the ground, Hope couldn't help but notice how _cold_ the spot where she'd been leaning against his shoulder now was—her fever was higher than he'd thought.

Wet snowflakes started to brush his face and neck the closer they drew to the opening of the cavern, slipping down the collar of his shirt and making him shiver. The snow as thicker than the day before—but it was daytime now; the snow had a soft silver sheen to it that wasn't there yesterday. Carefully setting Lightning down against the mouth of the cave, Snow went to prod at the thick, gnarled thorns of the plant growth that lined it.

Kneeling down beside her, Hope watched him with apprehension sinking into his stomach; the vines didn't look strong enough to hold them and the mouth of the opening was above their heads… too far to jump and they wouldn't make it carrying her anyways.

But the blond brawler didn't seem interested in using the vines…not for that purpose anyways. He wasn't trying to rip them off the surface of the stone; rather, Snow was using them as the ladder itself. "Hey, I think we can make it!" Fully expecting the blond brawler to come plummeting down as the plant material broke under his weight, Hope watched as Snow hauled himself up to the top, sending down thick clumps of snowfall as he struggled to find purchase on the icy landscape above.

Reaching down a hand—their fingers could reach, the ice was already beginning to stick to the ends of Snow's hair. "Give her to me." Casting a glance back at Lightning, Hope was suddenly unsure if he could carry her weight far up enough for Snow to take her.

But there was no other option—they weren't going to get out of the cavern in any other way and it would be a risk he'd have to take. Gingerly lifting her up, Hope tried not to grunt under the dead weight she was providing; limbs limp under the wrapping of Snow's jacket, she offered no help in his endeavor to lift her high enough for Snow to reach.

"Let go. I got her." Suddenly afraid to do just that, Hope wanted to ask Snow if he was sure, knowing it would be a stupid question and knowing that it wouldn't do anything but offend him. _But please be gentle… _She didn't need to be hurt more than she already was—on his behalf—and… He stopped himself before that part of him could come out.

Climbing up the vines—even though they poked and ripped through cloth to his skin—himself was infinitely easier than trying to make sure that Lightning was safe; even through the thorns poked into his palms and drew blood, that kind of pain was easier to deal with than the all-consuming anxiety and fear inside, as Hope looked around the landscape that was just above the opening in the ground.

It wasn't snowing as hard as he'd thought; he could still see the outskirts of the village to his left through the flakes and Snow was already walking in that direction, easily carrying Lightning. Stumbling in behind the brawler, he couldn't keep the thoughts from crawling into his head this time.

_Every time I was in danger, you were there. But I can't even…_

* * *

The shelter of a centuries-old roof over his head was better than nothing. Snowflakes leaked in from where the wood and metal no longer housed the building from the elements above, but it was better than staying outside in the now-heavily falling snow. Snow was tinkering away with the locator—with the help of some tools he'd scavenged from the village, he'd managed to prise the thing open, leaving it out in the air to dry while he'd gone looking for some sort of wire. Hope had to admit that he looked like he knew what he was doing, but it would be dark soon… and none of them had wanted to risk a fire in case there were enemies or monsters alike still in the area. _We haven't seen any, but… _Hope had come to expect the worst when it came to things like luck. _Because ours always seems to run out whenever we need it most._

The fizzing from the locator made him look up for a moment; Snow was busy with the small thing as he gingerly held it up between two fingers. Watching it warily as Snow gently gave it a shake, it sparked for a few moments before coming to life for a few heartbeats. "Al_right_!" Snow fisted the air with his free hand as the locator died with a whine. "Well, it worked for a few seconds…"

_But a few seconds won't help us, will it? _The transmission in that particular locator was already broken, but it looked to him like Snow had managed to make the broadcast function on it—that was connected to the military mainframe—work for those few heartbeats. _But that won't help… because who would send a hoverplane out here for a few seconds of signal? _

_So now… we wait? But for what? _While he would've liked to hope that there was someone back in Eden who would've paid attention to the broadcast, the reality of it was that he doubted it would get much attention…unless the military was adamant about finding them, which he doubted as well. _But Light… _Biting down on his bottom lip, her hand had trailed over her abdomen sometime in sleep; his attempts to lower her temperature had been fruitless… but what worried him now was that her breathing was no longer as steady as it had been last night.

Darkness slowly stole over their surroundings; sounds muted by the snowfall, the snowbanks were touched to silver highlights when the flakes finally stopped falling. Snow had fallen asleep, still clutching the broken locator in one hand, but Hope found himself even more reluctant to sleep than he had last night; determined not to give in to exhaustion as he did the previous night, the unnatural warmth of her fingers reminded him why he had to stay awake.

Help from Eden seemed as far away as the capital was itself—their chances for a rescue seemed to grow smaller the more time passed. Though Hope had no idea how far they really were, it couldn't have taken that long for them to send a hoverplane, right? There wasn't any food out here, and even if there was, it would be buried under the thick snowfall.

Lulled by the rhythm of her still too-fast heartbeat, Hope almost missed the moment that the shout came through the roof—bright light suddenly streamed onto the flat planes of snow just in front of them and he jerked into awareness, hardly daring to breathe. "Yoohoo! Is there anyone there? I mean, anyone alive?"

Despite the seriousness of the situation they were in, Hope wanted to laugh—he'd recognize the sound of _that_ voice anywhere. Brightness from military lamps seemed to cut through the darkness as it was shone through the openings of the structure they'd taken shelter under. The sudden brightness seemed to wake Snow up instantly—the blond was on his feet and looked ready to attack something before he seemed to realize what had happened; a slow grin spreading on his face, he turned to give Hope a thumbs up.

But the light had seemed to wake Lightning up too—she gave a faint moan before her fingers tightened around his with the slightest pressure, turning her head slightly so that she wouldn't be directly facing it. "It's okay, Light." Hope found that his voice was hoarse with relief. "The military's here… they'll help you, okay?"

"You kids alive in there?" Sazh's voice broke over the silence that had settled long before the military had shown up. "Knew it was you the moment we got your little signal there. Got ourselves some new technology… been wonderin' where you kids went off to."

Snow gave a weak laugh before patting the back of his bandanna. "'Ran off'… right." Sazh pointed a finger in his face, about to retort, when the older man caught sight of the way Lightning was positioned, the dry irritation dying instantly on his face. "Oh man… you found her alright." Making his way over to get a closer look, he muttered something into the radio on his lapel before squatting down next to Hope.

"She don't look so good, huh? Don't worry, we brought medics along just in case you kids were injured." Catching the look on Hope's face, Sazh heaved a sigh. "We'll have soldier girl snapping at us for our stupidity soon enough."

* * *

Sliding down onto the floor, back to the wall of the hallway, Hope felt like he was going to be sick. Trying to contain the roiling unease he felt in his stomach, he couldn't get the images out of his mind. The medics had tried prying Lightning away from him on the hovercraft—it wasn't that he didn't want them to help her, it was that he couldn't control the fear that came when the unfamiliar gloved hands reached for her.

Weakened from the fever, not strong enough to struggle against the hands that were trying to pin her down against the surgical bed, one of the doctors had explained to him that they couldn't even give her painkillers—her body had already gone into shock and her heartbeat was too fast, and any sort of depressant, whether it was a sedative or nor, would kill her.

Hope had had no choice but to watch her struggle against them, and when he'd caught sight of the bleeding discolouration flowering under her pale skin that was the telltale sign of internal bleeding once one of the medics had finally wrestled the overcoat off of her, the nausea had almost overwhelmed him.

They'd pushed him out then—but that didn't stop him from hearing the faint moans that was all the sounds she'd had the energy to make; blood on clean tiles painted the nightmarish images for him—he didn't need to have a vivid imagination for that.

Sick with the thought of what they might've been doing to stop it, Hope had sought the solitude of some corner of the hovercraft, _away_ from her cries—he _knew_ they were trying to help, but that didn't stop him from hating the fact that they couldn't help her pain. _Light… _

The guilt that had been pushed aside in their fight to get themselves to safety was back, and try as he might, knowing that she didn't blame him didn't stop him from blaming himself. _I can't see her like this. _Even if the doctors were finished with her, even if he didn't have to look at her pain anymore, Hope knew that he couldn't see her like this—Lightning would only get angry with him for thinking this way and he wasn't even sure if he could hold himself together if that happened. _I know how she feels now. _

It was like before—he'd never truly appreciated her desire to simply _escape_ from reality, but just like that moment back then, this was like a heartbeat of clarity that opened him to what she felt like back then. _I can't see her like this. _

So when Sazh had approached him, reassuring him that she would be okay before gently asking him if he wanted to go to the command at the front lines, Hope had had only one response.

* * *

**Eeeep. Honestly, I'm not really a fan of how this chapter came out... but it was one of 'those' chapters for me. I know what I needed to do to get to the next plot point, but I wanted to do it without cliches and without having things happen too conveniently, you know? So if I bungled it somewhere down the line... I'm sorry. *hangs head*  
**

**I'm hoping it was realistic enough though; the main thing I'm caught up on his how realistic you guys think Hope's reaction was, but I 'hope' it's understandable? I mean, I know Hope's always been the supportive type of person, but he's got a limit, right? And this was just one time too many for him - he needed to escape somewhere to get his thoughts in order (which is gonna happen) but I _promise _none of them are running away this time or anything. ^w^  
**

**So anyways, leave some love, pretty please (let me know what you think!) and I'll see you soon! I'm hoping to have Chapter 32 up by either Sunday or Monday but we will see...  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	32. Sacrifices

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**Wow, it's been an eventful weekend for Final Fantasy XIII, no? Haha _- _I _did_ end up going to the actual presentation in Seattle (and to _the Other Altaria_ - you should've told me you were going! I didn't know you went until I saw your pictures you posted this afternoon!) and I'm actually posting this from my hotel in Seattle as I am staying at PAX for the remainder of the weekend. (I brought my laptop along, you see...) While I'd rather not get into a discussion of what has been revealed and what still _has_ to be revealed, I will say that I am seriously excited for it. Of course, this means that the idea I had for _my_ "Final Fantasy XIII-3" has been kinda bricked, but I still intend on finishing it. n_n  
**

**Anyways, beyond what Square has finally decided to grant us, love and thanks go to Saccharo (I could never kill off my beloved Light, did you know that? And as of now, I am not sure- I will for sure give fair warning if things do wander down that particular path though nothing of that nature has been planned as of yet), LawMan (no worries, work = bane of my existence - and oh yes... quite soon), That One Reviewee (oh, you'll have to see!), GKMader (thank you so much, hun - you're amazing. ;D), and Mylaervain (I have a nasty suspicion she would've done... as much as she loves him, for Light, I think that what needs to be done was always greater than how she felt). Thank you all so much! c:  
**

**Enjoy as always!**

* * *

Chapter 32: Sacrifices

Staring out at a gritty, ash-filled sky, Hope couldn't help but wonder if the decision he'd made out of desperation and panic was the right one. Housed away in the base camp that had been set up near the mountains that formed the front line of the war, the images on the screen made him queasy—queasy like only the memory of scarlet blood blossoming in splatters on a clean tile could make him feel… only compounded by the fact that he knew whose blood it had been.

Hands gripping the railing that barred him from the screens that depicted the cruel reality of combat, he didn't know whether the images before him were better than the ones he didn't want to remember. _But I made my decision to come… right? _As Sazh had promised, he wasn't fighting—he was in Command, with the 'brains', as the older man had put it. _"Put that head of yours to good use, alright?" _The gentle tones had been accented with the point of a finger before the pilot had walked away to assist another rookie that needed help with his velocycle.

The operation in question was simple—in theory: retake a canyon area that had been taken two weeks previously. It _sounded_ simple enough, but the moment the stressed commander there had explained it to Hope when he'd arrived a week ago, he'd known why it was causing so much trouble to begin with. The terrain was difficult to fight on to begin with… and they didn't have the advantage of superior air power, because the winged Meurites had much more vulnerability in the air than did the velocycles and the megrim threshers that the army had managed to transport from Eden… and the sad truth of it all was that they were outnumbered. Greatly.

_No matter how many troops keep coming… there's still more of them. _The size of the Meurite army was daunting indeed, and as a captain had explained to him, they couldn't even be sure that what they'd seen so far was their army in its entirety. Staring at the digital map spread in front of the table, Hope couldn't help but feel out of place—he wouldn't even have been allowed to be here if it hadn't been for the fact that Lightning had pulled the strings to what he was allowed to access a long time ago. _She didn't tell me she'd given me her clearance… _

Just another thing that he'd never stop owing her for.

That only served to make him feel worse—here he was, running away from what he knew he couldn't stomach to see, only to find out that he'd only been _allowed_ to do so because she'd done something to make that possible before any of this had even happened. _I'm selfish,_ he thought miserably; but the memory of what had happened on the hoverplane on the way back made him feel worse… he couldn't see her like that, and he _knew _that he wouldn't be able to look at her straight in the eye once she'd finally woken up. _I don't want her to tell me it's okay… because it's _not_. _That much, he knew.

_It's not okay. _

It wasn't fair that she kept taking the hits because she wanted to protect him—it wasn't _right_ that she should still _have_ to keep looking after him. _I can fight… _He knew it wasn't true, that he'd never be able to fight like the way she knew how, but… _But I can't just give it all to her because I can't do it. _She would never listen to him if he told her that; would only wave away his guilt because _he _was safe. _It's not okay,_ he repeated to himself. But he didn't have the courage to tell her that—didn't want to jeopardize the relationship that had only been strengthened by what had happened, because he was afraid that she would storm off again, even though she'd promised. _I don't want to be the one to mess it up. _

_I was scared. _Remembering the days of biting his bottom lip, hidden by the teal scarf, he'd been scared—scared that she wouldn't feel the same way; scared that the difference in their ages would only make things worse, and scared that she would push him away once he'd told her. _But she didn't. _That was the one singular fact that had made him feel almost light with relief and happiness—he didn't want to throw that all away now. She'd gotten angry enough when he'd told her that he would be okay when she thought he wouldn't be… _I don't need to make it worse. _

Inwardly, he knew that he should tell her… but there didn't need to be more rifts between them than there already was. _It's selfish… but I don't want to. _A small tap on his shoulder made him look up. "Any ideas?"

The commander in charge was studying him intently under steel grey bangs. _R-Right… I'm supposed to be here for Light… _Trying not to feel flustered, knowing that he didn't have any of her training, Hope gazed down at the digital map spread before him again.

It was impossible to fight on the rough terrain that the canyon offered—he knew that from just watching the small skirmishes that had occurred in the days since he'd gotten here. _But we really need it back… don't we? _The Meurites, with their much more agile bodies that were much better suited to the terrain than the soldiers would be, would have the advantage. The dip between the mountains formed the front line of the fight at the moment; biting down on his bottom lip, Hope studied the way the mountain on the other side was formed, a memory rising from behind everything that had happened to them recently.

"What if we try to collapse the mountain on the other side?" Remembering how effective it had been when it had been used on them, he thought it would work again. _We were trapped under the stone… they might not be, but it might be enough to cause them to think twice… right? _The mountain in question was covered in snow—Hope suspected that the explosions would be enough to trigger an avalanche… but what was to guarantee that there would be no loss of life on their side? _I don't. I don't even know… _

He watched the commander think through it; quietly discussing the matter with the other soldiers, present, Hope wanted to ask if he could be excused, knowing that the answer would be no. The quiet mutterings around him reminded him of the discussions he'd heard so many times, but today, Hope found that he couldn't take interest in it.

"The only thing about it," said the commander quietly; finally, it seemed that the conversation between him and his subordinates had finished, "is that we risk catching our own troops in the process of it. I know that sacrifices have to be made in battle, but this is out of our control."

"I know," Hope mumbled, hating himself for suggesting it to begin with—he'd been looking for a way out of the conversation and he'd said the first plan that had come to mind… not knowing that it would be one they would actually consider.

"But the mountainside _can_ be used," continued the man thoughtfully. "If we can disable their side of the mountain, we'd be able to catch them in a pincer movement between us …" The talk dissolved again into mutterings he didn't want to discern; Hope made a move for the door before someone stopped him.

"I know you're here for the Lieutenant-Colonel," stated the captain that had stopped him. "But I also know you're a civilian; if you don't want to take part in combat, you'll have to remain at the base, okay?" Nodding, the man let him go when Hope started for the door again, feeling those same claws on unease sinking into his stomach at the thought. _Why do I feel like… it just—it doesn't feel right. Something's going to happen, isn't it?_

* * *

Settled in the observatory that had been set up in the depths of the mountain they occupied, it was hard to believe that he was looking out through glass and projectors… and not at the mountains outside that were being battered by snow. Thick flakes turned the world into a messy conglomeration of ice and stone; he could hardly see, and Hope could only imagine what it would be like for the soldiers that would be actually fighting in the operation that was due to start in about half an hour. "Oh hey, look who's here!" The familiar voice rang out behind him; turning to see that Snow was making his way into the observatory, Hope noted the dull limp that the big blond still had.

Snow caught the look before waving a hand carelessly. "Not as bad as it looks. By the way… the doctor would like me to tell you that Sis'll be fine; might take her awhile to be back to a hundred percent but she's fine. So for the record, I _did_ let you know, okay?"

Though the news was something he'd been longing to hear, Hope found that it provided little comfort in the way of what he had to do next. "Why are you here?" he mumbled quietly, not wanting to show his doubts and fears to the big man, who would only wave them off—he knew all too well that Snow would undoubtedly take Lightning's side in the whole thing… that he didn't have anything to be sorry for. _But I do. _

"Can't I be here?" Snow asked, grinning as he made his way over to the window of the observatory. "Nah, doctor said I was well enough to come, so since Sazh already dropped you off here, figured I'd come too."

Staring outside into the masses of swirling white, Hope pressed his hands against the cold glass that looked out onto the mountains; the observatory was supported by both metal and the natural stone that formed the mountain alike—reinforced by technology, he'd already been assured that the Meurites didn't have the firepower to take their side of the mountain down. "Man. It's a mess out there," Snow muttered, stepping up to join him at the window.

Through the glass, Hope could barely see the formations of the soldiers gathered together in the snow; the thick flakes were falling so fast and being blown into odd contortions by the wind that they could barely see. The only things that were clearly visible were the glowing stripes on their helmets and shoulders, glowing brightly in the otherwise blindingly white world.

The first sounds of the battle had already begun—the telltale sounds of bazookas and other cannons being fired were loud overhead, and the tiny silhouettes of the soldiers on the ground were beginning to move. Trying to squint through the whiteness, the bright tail flares of the projectiles being fired were visible through the icy flakes—hitting the mountainside opposite, the movement of the snow that was being displaced was visible… even from here. The motion was insignificant at first; only smaller slabs of snow were initially dislodged by the power of the weapons—he couldn't see the Meurites from where they were, but it wasn't until the snow tumbling down gathered momentum that he could make out black specks against the otherwise all-white landscape.

Even from here, the spells that were coming down from the mountainside opposite them were visible, tiny flares of flame accented by the dull grey gleam of the ruin spells. But what the Meurites hadn't anticipated, and what he also hadn't taken into account for, was the fact that the added spells only made the collapsing snow worse—gathering speed and mass as the icy chunks tumbled down the mountain, it wasn't long before the tips of the trees and shrubs that were still visible above the growing snowbanks were buried under the crash of the coming avalanche.

Fingers and palms pressed to the glass of the window, Hope tried to swallow the growing unease in his chest. _What did we just do? _He couldn't see any sign of the soldiers or enemies now; only the sound of the weapons that were still firing above their heads was any indication that there was a battle out there.

Suddenly, the alarm blared to life. _"Security breach on level one. I repeat, security breach on level one. All units on alert." _The speaker crackled for a few moments before fizzing out, dying with a whine. Snow jerked his head up instantly, looking around for an enemy that wasn't there, fists tightening in anticipation of a fight.

"Well well." Snow cracked his knuckles. "Doctor's orders to take it easy and here we are in a war zone. This'll be fun." But the blond brawler wouldn't have the chance to fight, because armed soldiers burst into the room the next moment, weapons forming crosses across their ranks.

The captain in the lead lowered his gun slightly. "We've got orders to—"

But what exactly those orders were, Hope would never find out, because it was at that exact moment that the glass behind them burst into millions of shards, raining down on their heads; order was lost the moment the broken panes of the window hit the metal and rock of the ground beneath them, creating a spiderweb of cracks and glinting splinters alike, charred by fire and smouldered by the icy flakes blown by the wind that immediately rushed in to take the place of the splintered glass.

Sticky flakes instantly stuck on the skin of his cheeks and neck as Hope fought to take adequate breath against the overwhelming rush of winter wind; digging into the sling he carried for his weapon, he doubted it would see much action—there was too much wind to see properly and he couldn't hear; orientation toyed with by the precarious weather, there wasn't much to go by.

The sound of gunfire suddenly close by his shoulder, he tried to look past the flakes, only to see the small Meurites that so resembled the Svarogs that flew above the Archylte Steppe; purplish red wings sprouting from the reptilian backs gnarled with skin that looked like it was ready to fall off, Hope found himself staring at them; staring at the eyes that were human enough to express hate.

_Why do we have to fight? _The thought burst into his head as he was shoved aside by a soldier firing his weapon at them, shells of bullets clinking rapidly to the ground. It had been the question underlying everything that had happened to them—it had been suppressed recently… but they'd been fighting someone who he knew would be a waste of time trying to reason with. _But these ones… they're just following orders. _They had no fight apart from the one they'd been given; the military was fighting to survive… but from what Lightning had told him, so were they.

The spray of red on white was familiar in a haunting way; snowflakes dyed scarlet with blood from both soldiers and the Meurites alike, Hope found himself stumbling backwards until his back hit a wall; unable to attack but knowing that instinct and emotions would drive him to defend himself the moment that the situation around him would call for it.

The glass crunching under his feet, the floor slick with melting snow, something launched itself at his head; ducking, the clawed feet of the lizard-like Meurite grazed his shoulder, not deep enough to wound but enough to knock him off balance. His arm was raised automatically as adrenaline was pushed through his bloodstream—instinct drove him to defend himself and the handle of the boomerang met with skin in a sickening crunch.

The Meurite dropped to the ground; unable to fly but still determined to attack him, it let out a screech as it launched itself at him again, fangs and claws outstretched in anger that consumed its beady black eyes. The hoarse words came from his mouth before he could stop them. "Why do we have to fight?" _Why do we have to hate each other like this? _

He didn't know if it had understood him, understood the meaning behind the words that he'd shouted at it, but the struggles that it was putting up to attack him stopped—it blinked at him, eyes trying to comprehend the meaning of the words in confusion. Hope didn't know what had made him say it aloud—that was a doubt he'd expressed out loud only to the people he'd trusted most… and he knew he wouldn't have said it in the presence of the military. _But I… _Unconsciously dropping to one knee, he gripped the weapon tighter in his right hand not in a posture of attack but in reassurance that everything around him was still happening. _Why do we have to fight? _

The question was naïve, even now, even as he repeated it to himself for the second time, and Hope knew that if Lightning had been here, she would've snapped at him that now wasn't the time for philosophizing… even if she'd admitted that fighting probably wouldn't get them what they wanted. _You'd tell me that I'm stupid… and childish for thinking that everything can be solved by just talking. But I do. _And that was the realization that had made him realize another… that they would always differ. That sentiments and thoughts couldn't be forced upon each other, that she would always feel differently about some things no matter how hard he tried to convince her. _But that's why… that's why we understand each other… right? That's why sometimes we have to accept things we don't like; even if we don't agree sometimes… so long as we understand—_

He was yanked backwards by something strong. "What are you _doing?_" Snow's indignant yelp was close by his ear as the big man dragged him upright, pushing him towards the door that the soldiers had come from. "Let's go!" Stumbling through the doorway, Hope felt his weapon being knocked against the steel frame as Snow tried to shove him through along with the remaining soldiers, firmly pressing his palm into the lock once they were all out.

The light on the pad beside the door flicked red before closing, the metal door sliding shut behind them and cutting off the sound of the wind and the screeches of their enemies alike as the resounding 'click' of the magnetic door locked into place. "There," he panted.

One of the soldiers was speaking rapidly into his radio, the words too fast for Hope to make them out without the effort he didn't want to put into his surroundings. Heartbeat still racing, the revelations of the last few minutes had pushed his body into overdrive—the overwhelming desire to apologize, for her to _understand_ was only solidified by the confirmation of what he'd somehow known all along. _We need to understand each other. _

"Roger, sir." The soldier clicked the radio on his lapel shut; lowering his gun, he beckoned them forward with two fingers. "Listen. The first levels are being shut down now; I've got orders to evacuate you because you're important to the war effort, is that right?"

Snow grinned at the man before cracking his knuckles. "Well… you _could_ say that. We've got a couple of tricks up our sleeves."

The mask the soldier was wearing made it hard to discern the man's expression… or what he was really thinking, but the pause in between that sentence and the next made Hope sure that the man was wondering just how important two—and he was sure, to him, untrained—people could really do in a fight that didn't seem to have an end. "Well," the man muttered finally. "You'd need to, for us to win this."

The grin grew wider on Snow's face. Thumping his chest once, the action turned into a thumbs up. "Don't worry about that."

_But I _am _worried… _He didn't want to say it in front of Snow and definitely didn't want to voice the doubts in front of the already-dubious looking soldiers, but Hope knew that things wouldn't be as easy for them as Snow made it sound. _Because we still need… _There was still so much that they had to do—it was being discussed back in Eden how, exactly, to get the three of them—once Lightning was out of the hospital—to the location that they'd spotted the mark on the stone in the cave. The army had gone in and done a search of the cave after they'd been picked up by the hovercraft, but they had failed to find anything that hadn't already been found.

Another squad had been sent to Granend; the island they'd first been sent to, but just like them, the soldiers couldn't draw close to the rift in which chaos bent the very fabric of time and space. _And the sword… _The sword in question was currently in one of the labs, undergoing examination. He didn't like the idea of that, but Hope was also fairly sure that the tech team wouldn't find anything. _After all… _

He couldn't forget how he'd been the only one who'd been able to actually pull it. It wasn't 'special' for him afterwards—Snow had handled it quite easily after that—but something made him sure that the sword wouldn't give up its secrets to just anybody. _Otherwise anybody would've been able to use it, right? _

As he followed the soldiers down the hallway, presumably to some airship port that was up above the lower levels of the command set up, the thoughts of what they had to do seemed daunting—terrifying overwhelming in the sense of what they had to do to _win. But is winning… right? _He was no closer to that answer than he had been before; he felt only more confused when he thought back to how the lizardlike Meurite had backed off the moment those words had slipped out of his mouth.

_And then… I was sure that we had to understand each other. I am. _But thinking back to what'd happened only made him remember how they'd ended up in their current predicament in the first place—the Meurite that had shown up to take the sword from them the moment that he'd pulled it from the stone. He couldn't forget the hatred in the words and he couldn't forget the anger in the words he'd spat at her. _Can we really try to understand someone like that? _

He didn't know—and he'd tried already; remembering the furious contempt in the hissing answer, Hope didn't know if that particular Meurite, whom according to Lightning was leading the others against them, would listen. _Do we really need to fight to win? _

That was a question he knew would have to be answered sooner or later.

A cold, frigid blast of wind hit him in the face as he rounded the next corner behind Snow and the soldier in the lead—the loud curse word that was instantly spat beside him confirmed who it was before he could make out the silhouettes in the snow that was blowing towards them with a vindictive edge. Stumbling backwards, his back hit the slippery wall as his fingers automatically reached for the weapon he carried at his side. Hope could see the airship port through the hole blasted into the wall—a hovercraft was waiting for them already, the soldiers already on board furiously engaged with a mess of Meurites that resembled—

The Ruin spell hit the metal above his head, causing the steel to blacken and fold under the inertia presented by the spell. Ducking forwards, he found himself face to face with the beige, greyish skin of the Meurite that had cast it; fingers bucking wildly in the winter wind, it was clearly searching for the enemy that it hadn't hit. Like the Cie'th it originally was based off of, it was blind.

Ducking under the flailing limbs—though he knew they had no real power behind the blows—Hope winced when it caved under the shots that the soldiers were firing, falling to the icy floor with a sickening thump. Following Snow's shouts, Hope raised his arm to shield his face when he stumbled through the opening that had been blasted into the wall; winter snow tore at the sleeve he'd raised to protect his face and between that and the swirling icy flakes, he could barely see. _How does Snow fight in this? _

He could hear the telltale sounds of punches and the shouts of triumph that were coming from ahead of him—Hope couldn't even see well enough to make his way to the aircraft that was waiting for them, much less throw the weapon clutched in his left hand at something.

Sudden scarlet stained the flakes around him; a dying shout strangled in a broken choke as Hope whipped around—claws sunk into the throat of a soldier that was slit open in a bright red smile, he felt something sink its talons into his chest and stomach when he recognized one of the ones that could move faster than any of them could react. It locked eyes with him—golden brown with green, and Hope felt himself take an involuntary step back.

_Get a grip—just because she's not here doesn't mean you can't do anything without her!_

But the Meurite had already snatched up the weapon from the fallen soldier; clicking it into place, he wasn't surprised when it aimed it at him.

Cold numbness crept into his limbs when Hope realized that there was no way out; he wouldn't run behind cover in time and hoping that the Meurite would miss was wishful thinking. A sadistic thought made its way into his head—there was no one here to take the fall for him this time. _She's not here. _As sickening as that thought was… Lightning wasn't here to protect him; she wasn't here to _die_ for him—the one thing she'd said with deadly seriousness. _I don't—_

But instead of firing, the Meurite took a step towards him. "You're talented," he rasped quietly, voice barely audible over the sound of the wind and snow. "Why are you fighting for them?"

_What?_ Hope wasn't aware that he'd said that word aloud until the lips of the lion-like Meurite pulled back in a snarl, revealing sharp teeth that glinted even in the dim lighting provided by the snowstorm. "Why are you fighting for them?" There was the hint of anger in its voice now.

_I… don't understand!_ Hope didn't know why the Meurite would choose such a peculiar question to ask, considering the situation they were in… _is it just because I have a high magical potential, or is there— _"Why are you fighting us?"

It was the only question he could think of; the only question that would make it past his suddenly constricted throat and hammering pulse in his upper body; the crash of his pulse was so loud in his ears that Hope couldn't hear anything else. It was so easy—the Meurite before him could just pull the trigger and everything would be over… why, _why_ was it hesitating?

But once the first question came, the other words came on the heels of it easily. "Why are you fighting us? We're not… we're not your enemy." It was a naïve thing to say, all things considered, but the moment the syllables left his lips, Hope realized that they were the truth. He didn't _want_ to fight—_there's gotta be a way of 'winning' without fighting… _"What fight do we have but the one that's been pushed onto us?"

The last question made the Meurite pause in his motion to take a step towards him. Gun still pointed at his chest, looking so odd in those animalistic, gnarled hands, there was a moment in which their eyes met again, holding each others' gazes. And in those eyes, Hope could find the anger, and the hunger for something that might've been revenge…but he also could see the confusion—the _hesitation_ that his question had brought up.

That notion alone made a small struggle of hope rise in his chest—that it _wasn't_ impossible to reason with them… that it _wasn't_ impossible to talk. But it was also in that moment of hesitation that something else swooped down over them; a shadowy graze of talons and beaks, accompanied by a shriek of rage, that pushed the Meurite forwards; fingers gripping the trigger in surprise and out of instinct, Hope didn't have the time to move away.

* * *

**So I promise I'm not _trying_ to be cruel or anything, but I knew I was going to cut it off here the moment I started this chapter... so, what can I say? Other than the fact that I _promise_ next chapter is gonna be one I work really hard on to make sure it sounds right - it's the 'moment' I mentioned a couple of chapters ago and I'm actually really looking forward to getting it out! :D  
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**Leave some love if you so desire (but I won't lie - reviews are my motivation and they make me want to make _you guys _happy) and I will try to make Chapter 33 happen sometime before Tuesday. n_n  
**

**Hearts!  
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	33. Eternity Borne

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**Well... this chapter was hard. I know I said I was looking forward to it, and I _was_—but that didn't make the emotional intensity of this one easier than it was. I know I left you guys off at a pretty cruel cliffhanger last time... err, whoops. *scratches head* My bad. n_n  
**

**Many thanks go to: H-thar (no worries at all, hon—and yeah, no, for sure, I still intend on finishing it, but now I'm just glad I got it out before watching that presentation could ruin my ideas. And _yes_, Hoperai must be in my ending even if it's not going to be the 'official ending'. Count on it.), Guest (to be honest... unless Hope built himself another time machine that still works in chaos, I doubt that they will reunite in the game itself. I'm clinging to that 'happy ending' the NA producer promised us all up on stage at the moment... that she'll fix the timeline so everyone comes back?), 2 lol (haha, physics... the inescapable bane of my life, studying sciences. -.- And thank you very much—I try not to disappoint you all), Lightarcana (thank you!), That One Reviewee (I can imagine. Right now, though, I'm just going to concentrate on the fact that I can be happy she's back—the Hoperai stuff? I'll have to shelve that aspect of me when I finally play it), Jack Hargreave (no worries—and yeah, I'm kinda bummed because a certain someone looks like he won't be in it... but it does make me seriously excited), hopeNlight (welllll... you'll have to see), and GkMader (I'm a cruel person. *nods*). Thank you all so much—seriously, support makes me happy and like I said, it's my motivation to keep going. I could not have made it this far without you all.  
**

**In terms of the new game, well... yeah, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I _am_ super happy Lightning is playable as the main character again... the only thing is, she's the _only_ playable character. I mean, I'm not _complaining_—she's much better than Noel (sorry if you like him) or whatever, but honestly... where is my Hope? *cries* Anyways... rant over; without further ado, I present Chapter 33!**

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Chapter 33: Eternity Borne

Hope had never truly appreciated the power of painkillers—of how they not only pushed away all evidence of physical discomfort, but also took away the most extremes of emotions. But then again, he'd never truly appreciated the strength contained in a single projectile housed in a metal casing. It wasn't that he'd never seen someone fire a gun before… it was that he'd never actually gotten hit by one.

And painfully, he knew it was because there'd always been people there who were determined to protect him, to _shield_ him. _But when they _weren't_ there… _He wanted to feel disgusted and useless at the fact that he honestly didn't know how to defend himself without his magic, but the heavy painkiller still pushed through his bloodstream didn't allow that. Eyes opening to the blood red of sunset stained across fallen snow, he tried to ignore the soreness radiating from his left side.

According to the doctor, he hadn't actually gotten hit—whatever had been affecting the Meurite's aim at that particular moment—though Hope was sure that it wouldn't have fired if it hadn't gotten attacked; a theory that he felt was best kept to himself—had caused the bullet to graze his side. It didn't mean it wasn't any less powerful… and the doctor had told him he should've felt lucky that nothing was broken and that nobody had had to remove anything.

The phrase _"nothing was broken, so consider yourself lucky" _was still ringing in his head when the door to his room quietly slid open—Hope didn't want to turn around; last time it had been Snow and right now, he wasn't in the mood for any flippant jokes. _And if it's the doctor… _

"Hey." The quiet, raspy voice behind him made him freeze—as though his muscles didn't know how to respond to the familiar voice; Hope suddenly wasn't sure what to say anymore. It was a moment he would've rather liked to prepare for; as inevitable as it was, he wanted to get the things he wanted to say to her straight in his mind before he actually saw her face to face. Helpless desperation rising in his chest, it was beginning to give way to panic. _What am I supposed to say? _

But his body reacted before his mind did—Hope found himself turning his head back before his mind could even begin assuaging any of those panicked thoughts and before he could think of anything that would make it past his suddenly constricted throat.

She was _right there_—blue hospital gown pulled tight around her slender frame, held in place by two dark blue straps just below the neckline, one hand was resting on the wall just beside the doorframe, an obvious effort to keep herself upright. The other was wrapped tightly around her middle, fingers finding purchase on the rough cloth gathered around her waist, the look in her ice blue eyes was one he could relate to; calm expectancy was burdened with a hint of pained desperation, and in the moment that their eyes met, Hope could let himself childishly admit that even now, pale skin on her lower arms still faintly shadowed with the blossoms of fading bruises, she was still beautiful.

_Stop,_ he chastised himself, biting down on his tongue. Now wasn't the time to be thinking about _that_ and he was supposed to know that!

Holding each other's gazes, they stared at each other for a moment—one that might've been just that, or one that might've been much, much longer, before Lightning let out a faint snort, slowly making her way towards his bed; a flash of light beige on her lower right arm caught his attention—inspecting it more closely, Hope realized that it was the same socket that the doctors had plugged into his own arm, except there was no IV attached to hers.

She sat down on the mattress with a soft _thump_, but he heard the sharp breath that left her lips as she did so. "You don't look that well." The mumbled statement left his lips before he really thought about what he was saying; arching an eyebrow at him, Hope watched her slowly tighten the grip around her abdomen. Watching her reaction, embarrassment and fear slowly stole over the little control he had left over his limbs. _Way to go,_ he thought bitterly. _The conversation you were hoping to get right with her; thrown it right out the window and now she's going to get mad at you. _He hadn't meant for it to come out that way—he was _concerned_; she really shouldn't have been up and about and he could only guess at what she'd threatened the doctors with to not only let her out of her room but to tell her where he was—but it hadn't come out right; in his flustered panic that he wouldn't know what to say, he hadn't thought about what he was saying.

The tense expression on Lightning's face relaxed a little—whether it was because she read him too easily or whether it was because she was choosing to ignore it for the moment being, Hope didn't know; letting out another snort, the fingers of her free hand plucked incessantly at the rough cloth of the bedspread as she looked down. "Well, you've looked better," she said dryly, before flicking her gaze upwards again. "Stupid," she muttered. "Tried to reason with the enemy and got yourself shot instead."

He could feel a faint smile twitching at the corner of his lips, despite the awkwardness of the situation they were in. "Sorry."

A soft, exasperated groan left her lips as she leaned forward, moving her free hand so that it pressed against the raised upper half of the bed, she rested her forehead against it. "What were you thinking?" There wasn't any outright anger in her voice—only a pained conglomeration of thick emotions he didn't have the strength to individually discern at the moment.

"I don't know," he admitted quietly. _I just thought… _"I…"

She was silent; clearly waiting for him to continue. "I just thought that we'd be able to, you know…" For some reason, he didn't want to say it, and selfishly, he couldn't help the thought that came into mind. _I thought you understood. _

"I know that," she finally murmured. "But it wasn't—he was aiming a _gun_ at you." Looking up, he didn't miss the ferocious intensity in her aquamarine gaze; dulled as it was by a faint pain, there was no mistaking the frustrated aggravation behind it. "I would've thought you knew to fight back. Shit," she whispered, biting her lip. "I should've been there."

"No, you shouldn't!" The sudden intensity in his voice scared even him, as Lightning gave a start before looking back at him with a glowering expression in her eyes; before she could open her mouth, the words he'd wanted to say to her—figured _out_ what, exactly, he was going to say to her, came out, as though her final sentence had been the ones they'd been waiting for. "Light, stop—I don't want you putting yourself in danger for me anymore, and I _don't want_ you to tell me, like I know you will, that everything's _okay!_ Because it's not, it's…" He stopped, partially because the effort needed to keep speaking like that was making his side act up and partially because of the look on her face; shutting his mouth, Hope watched the emotions play across her expression—it scared him that he couldn't read it; even now, even in the currently still-drugged condition he was in, it scared him that he couldn't read her expression enough to figure out what she was thinking. The thought that she might very well be angry was terrifying, but so was the thought of what had happened happening again.

_I had to say it. Even if… _He didn't think he could go through what'd happened in the cavern again, didn't think he could stomach looking at her like that again, and right now, he knew that whatever he said would be worth it—worth risking her anger and her motions to push him away—if he didn't have to see it again. Fear and a strange sense of elation that he'd _said_ it was starting to take over the numbness in his limbs; the dull sensation of phantom pressure from inside his fingertips was beginning to fade, and Hope realized that he was scared to meet her eyes—afraid of the anger that he knew they would hold and the coming argument that he had to brace himself for.

But it didn't come—instead, there was a silence that was only filled by the steady dripping of the IV and the blood red sunset that was beginning to give way to a moonlight-touched night; the stray beams of light poking through the window whose sill was piled with heavy, wet flakes. Afraid he'd said something wrong—but knowing inwardly that it had to be said—he kept his eyes on the plain whiteness of the blanket, head carefully turned away from her. _Please don't be mad… _

A gentle pressure on his free hand made him jerk his gaze back before he could control that reaction. "Stop," she murmured. "I get it." Tucking a stray strand of pink hair back behind her ear with her free hand, Lightning carefully averted her gaze as she stared at the wall. "I know that," she continued, a tone of bitterness entering her voice. "But… I didn't want you to give it to him. It wouldn't have been—You know what would've happened if you gave it to him. You know that. I'm not—" Cutting herself off with frustrated sigh that Hope couldn't tell whether it was directed at him or not, she moved a hand over her face, covering her nose and mouth. "Maker, this sounds stupid… especially coming from someone like me, but I _know_ that. I knew all along how you felt, because I felt the same way, but I…" Twisting her slender fingers into the cloth underneath them, fisting the bedspread, she kept her gaze carefully averted. "I didn't want to lose someone else that I cared about," she admitted quietly, finally raising her teal gaze to his.

What surprised him—what overrode the intensity of what had just been said and everything that'd happened—was the blatant, exposed _uncertainty _in her eyes… as though this was territory she'd never tread down before, and was unsure of how to go about it. _But that's… _It was a realization that unfurled the tiniest grain of comfort inside his chest. _That's what she told me before. That she was scared of messing up—that she wouldn't know the first thing about… _

"Light?" _Why do I sound this way? _The choked hesitation in his voice surprised even him, but what he couldn't deny was the instilled sense of relief—he'd known it too; that she'd always _understood_, that the actions were driven by the singular thing that had pushed her forwards: that she didn't want to lose anyone else. He could understand that; it was a sentiment that he could relate to, and… _And what I have to accept is that we're not always going to feel the same way. We're not always going to agree on something. _"Sorry for shouting at you," he mumbled, feeling sheepish and somehow naïve; the intensity and the uncertainty in her eyes unnerved him—he wanted to rectify that.

A soft snort left her lips; with renewed relief, Hope realized she was _laughing_; the quiet tones reassuring him more than any other that she hadn't been offended, that she wasn't angry with him. "It was bound to happen sometime," she murmured quietly, the ghost of a smile still twitching at the corner of her lips. "But I _am_ sorry—I didn't really… I didn't try to understand how you felt. And it was only when…" she trailed off delicately, closing her eyes for a few moments as though the thought pained her.

Hope could feel his own smile pulling at his mouth. "I'm sorry too." _But I think… I get it now. And when we both understand… it'll make things easier in the future, right? _He could believe that—easily.

Lightning flicked her gaze over to the door for a moment before resettling herself on his bed, giving her head the slightest shake to move aside the bangs that had fallen in front of her eyes. "So what… actually happened?" The normalcy in her tone bolstered the dwindling confidence that her uncertainty had instilled in him.

"Don't you know?" he asked, trying to keep his voice light. She gave him a look—it was one he knew well enough; denoting exasperation and irritation, but not outright anger, the recognition of it made him want to smile.

She let go of him to cross her arms across her chest; noticing that the lower arm was still carefully wrapped around her abdomen, a stray thought wandered across his mind for a moment—_Is she really supposed to be here? _She'd probably shoved aside the nurses and doctors who'd tried to stop her, but whether she knew it was for her own good or not, Hope wasn't so sure of. "Well," she said carefully. "I've heard… _interesting_ stories," placing heavy emphasis on the adjective. "Not sure whether I believe them all or not. I want to hear it from you."

"Are you sure?" The look of disbelief in her eyes was smouldered with her realization that he wasn't serious; an unspoken challenge.

"Please," she snorted quietly. "I'm sure I've heard worse."

* * *

The warmth beside him was unsettling for a moment, before Hope remembered who it was. It was dark in the room now; the only light came from the window; touching silvery highlights to various aspects of the dull hospital room, the windowsill was once again quickly gathering with snow—the flakes were falling lightly and from where he was lying, he could see the icy powder beginning to obscure the lower half of the window.

Back to his shoulder, he wasn't sure if Lightning was asleep or not—nobody had come to fetch her; whether that was because she'd ordered the doctors and nurses not to distract them, or whether it was because no one had honestly noticed she was gone, a possibility that Hope highly doubted, he wasn't sure whether he was supposed to wake her—if she was indeed asleep—and tell her to go back. _Won't the doctors want to check on her? _

Selfishly, he didn't want to—he didn't want her to leave just yet, not when they'd finally come to some sort of mutual understanding that reached over whatever they'd previously established; that thought instilled relief and a tenuous sort of happiness inside—that she finally _understood. _"Light?"

"Wasn't sleeping," came the muffled reply; it sounded like she had her face pressed against her arm.

"Shouldn't you be going back to your room? I mean," he quickly rectified, sensing that she wasn't happy with the first suggestion, "won't the doctors want to check on you?"

She gave a quiet sigh of irritation—hearing her frustration, Hope found that he felt happy that she couldn't see the smile on his lips right now. _It's Light. _"I don't care," she mumbled mutinously. "I don't want to be stuck listening to them tell me how I have to be careful next time, or whatever."

Hope laughed quietly—he could imagine it. "But don't they… don't you have medicine, or something, that you should be getting?"

"If they want to find me," she muttered, evidently trying to contain the note of disdain in her voice, "they know where I am." Resting her head back on her arm, they lay there in companionable silence for awhile—Hope was relieved to hear that her breathing was steady, as was her heartbeat. Pain was starting to radiate from his side now—a sign that whatever they'd given him was wearing off; the bruised ribs and torn skin starting to throb in time with his own heartbeat… but he didn't want to call the doctor just yet, for fear that they would take Lightning away once they found her here.

Shifting so that his weight was on his right side, the pressure temporarily alleviated from his injured left, Hope found that he was looking at her shoulder, messy pink locks of hair twisted carelessly over it. "You scared me," he murmured quietly.

"What?" She turned; their faces were so close that their noses almost touched—feeling confidence creep up on him when he realized that she wasn't cringing away from their proximity, Hope rested a hand on her hip; she tensed a little, eyes flicking up in surprise, only to relax after a few moments.

"Back at the cave," he clarified quietly. _When I really thought you were going to… _ Understanding shadowed her features once Lightning realized what he was talking about; she looked down, one hand picking at the fabric of the bedspread underneath them.

The movement made the lightning pendant around her neck catch the light of the rapidly dimming moon, the silver chain spilling out from underneath the rough folds of the hospital gown. "Hope, I…" She trailed off, fingernails scraping at the cotton under her palm.

Hope chose not to elaborate—she already knew what he meant and there was no reason for him to continue, choosing instead to rest his chin on her hair; her steady heartbeat calming him, the next words were unplanned, slipping out in a quiet whisper. "I love you."

She exhaled sharply, twisting around suddenly under his grasp. "What?" The look on her face was something akin to incredulity—something he felt the urge to laugh at, only that Hope knew that he shouldn't. But he knew she'd heard; it was the person inside that was used to pushing everyone away that was reacting now.

"I love you," he repeated quietly, intently studying her face.

Lightning had never been that good at hiding her emotions—unless he counted pushing everyone away, keeping them at arm's length with only her mannerisms so that they couldn't get close to her. But right now, she was doing neither… which made her expression all too easy to read. She wasn't offended—far from it, but the shocked vulnerability told him that she'd been unprepared for what he'd said; unsure of how to react and though he was sure she knew what it _meant_… she didn't know how to respond. Words from long ago, created under circumstances that were so much better than the one they were in now, came from the back of his mind. The memory was a little indistinct; as though created centuries ago by someone else, but the emotion behind the words said was as clear as though he'd been the one experiencing it.

"_Relationships were never something that I thought was worth spending time on, okay? Serah—" _She'd cut herself off back then; the familiar pain shadowing her aquamarine gaze… but there was none of that now. The hesitation was still there, and though Hope didn't believe that Lightning had never had someone tell her they were attracted to her, the uncertainty and bemused surprise in her expression now told him that she'd never allowed something like that to stop her; never allowed those people to cultivate the emotions that went beyond that.

Though it was selfish, it instilled a real sense of happiness—that she'd _allowed_ it, to begin with. The confusion on her face relaxed and she gave a soft snort that was mixed with a laugh, looking up. "Where did that come from?" The tone in her voice was one of amused bewilderment—but not at all in a bad way— and Hope found himself oddly encouraged by the light curiosity in her tone.

"I just wanted to say it," he mumbled; slightly abashed, even though he was certain that she hadn't been offended in any way. _I wanted to make sure you knew. _

She stared up at him again; trying to fight the amused smirk that was pulling at the corners of her lips. "You're ridiculous." After a short pause, she continued, the volume of her voice dropping. "But… thank you."

Hope propped himself up on one elbow, ignoring the protests of his left side as he did so. "For what?"

She gave him a pointed look. "You know," she murmured quietly. "Nobody's ever said it to me before. Serah doesn't count," she added, catching the look on his face as Hope was about to open his mouth. "You know what I mean."

_I do. _As awkward as the positions they were in were at the moment, her left hand found his; moonlight was rapidly being taken from the only window that hadn't been obscured by thick, maroon curtains and it was getting harder to see her in the darkness; only the outlines of her features were visible. "You know," she continued in a quiet voice, "when I became Lightning… I thought I had to give everything up. Relationships, _love_… whatever the hell this all is; I didn't think I had the time for it all anymore. So I pushed everyone away instead… because I thought that they'd only get in the way of what I had to do."

"Lightning." Hope hated how weak and impotent his own voice sounded next to the hoarse intensity of hers, but for some reason, he didn't want her to continue.

She laughed a little, but it was bitter and he could hear the caustic pain behind her soft voice. "But I was so focussed on _what_ I had to do… that I forgot about everyone else. I hated the fact that Serah turned to someone else—she didn't _trust _me—but when I look back on it now… could I really have blamed her? I went through life like some robot programmed on autopilot; didn't care how the people around me felt—I was only focussed on the goal I had in mind… not on the things that were _really_ important." Hearing a quiet sniffle, Hope was almost afraid to look at her—Lightning had the back of her hand pressed to her nose and mouth; the next words came out slightly muffled. "I hated myself for not being there for her—for being too petty and too stubborn to listen to her. And now… I can't make up for it. Serah must've told me she loved me a million times… but did I ever have the courage—or the patience—to say it back?" A defeated sigh escaped her lips as she bowed her head, pink bangs slipping in front of her eyes to obscure what he could see of her face.

Dwindling courage coupled with her sudden pain at the words he hadn't meant to hurt her with, Hope was just as afraid to continue as he'd been to say the things he'd wanted to say to her this afternoon; but just like before… it had to be said. _I can't let her continue. _"But Serah still loved you. She knew," he insisted quietly. "Everyone who knows you knows that you aren't the kind of person who just gives out hugs and 'I love yous'… you don't say it, but you mean it." _Maker, please tell me I said the right thing. _

Lightning tried to stifle her gasp, but Hope heard it anyways. "What?" Throat dry, he was suddenly afraid that he _had_ said the wrong thing.

She gave her head a slight shake before a barely audible hum left her lips. "Sorry—It's just… Serah said the same thing… once." The fingers that were trapped under his made a move to escape, but Hope tightened his grip on her, refusing to let her pull away just now; she gave him a startled look, but didn't continue fighting it. "So when you said it," she murmured quietly, "I couldn't help but think… what if I let you down too? I know," she clarified. "It's stupid… it's always been there, so I—I shouldn't have been surprised when you finally said it; it's just… it reminded me that I promised myself that I'd try to do things right this time," she finished, carefully looking away from him.

"But see?" he encouraged quietly—she didn't need to guilt herself any further, and Hope wanted to reassure her that she _hadn't_ done anything that she needed to try to risk everything to fix. "We understand—we know what you mean… so don't worry, okay?" Taking a breath, he continued. "I mean… it's not like we haven't fought before, but we're always going to be different—we can't force each other to think the same way… that's not fair."

She turned back then; the faint moonlight reflecting off her irises turning the aquamarine blue into a sheen of silver reminiscent of the snow outside—Hope was glad that the look in her eyes was calmer now; there was still the faint hint of pain in their depths… but she seemed to be in control. "Right," she agreed quietly. Brushing the back of her hand across her eyes again, Lightning allowed herself a small smile. "You've thought this through… haven't you?"

Hope could feel his own smile pulling at the corners of his lips again. "Something like that."

"You're ridiculous," she repeated; trailing her hand up his arm, stopping when the tips of her slender fingers reached some new scar that he'd gotten since the time they'd spoken face-to-face last.

Stopping the light pressure she was putting on it, he gently lifted her hand off his arm, ignoring Lightning's questioning look. The kiss he pressed to her lips was chaste enough—until she returned it; fingers trailing down his neck, the ghosting movement so light he might've not believed it'd happened if it weren't for the fact that he knew she was there. "Apparently," he murmured against her, feeling her shift a little under the slight change in pressure, "so are you."

* * *

Gusts of wind tore at her hair; pulling at the pastel pink locks in the orange sunset, Lightning looked up at the crumbled stone ruins built into the mountainside. It was winter everywhere else on Gran Pulse… except here. The dying desert heat was enough to make her wonder why the hell Snow was still wearing his ridiculously thick trench coat and it made Hope's comforting presence behind her feel too close for the sake of both their body heats.

But the aridity of the area had had another effect—the stone torn and weathered by years of sand storms held no water and the path that led upwards into some cavern that led to the main structure of the ruins was relatively clear… apart from the occasional boulder and fallen column that blocked their way. The brilliant orange sunset sliced through the remaining columns that stood halfway up the stone mountainside, visible even from where they were standing, and Lightning couldn't help the stray thought that crossed her mind. _We'll be finding the one thing in a maze of ruins. Fun times. _

"Ma'am. We'll be patrolling out here—just in case the Meurites come after us, while you go and search for this… stone." It was one of the soldiers that had accompanied them to the very southern tip of Gran Pulse; stationed by the landed hovercraft by some large boulders that poked up through the desert sands. She flicked her gaze back for a few moments, taking in the amount of soldiers that Command had deemed necessary for this particular operation. She wasn't sure if she liked it; while it meant that she had less to worry about in the way of an attack—competence of these particular soldiers aside—the scale of the operation made her feel uneasy. _Way to shout it about that we're here. _

But there was nothing for it—they _needed_ the third stone and she had to trust that it was here. "Light?" Hope's timid tug on her arm made her turn around; the few weeks spent in the military hospital hadn't quite erased the recent signs of injuries from either of their bodies. Faint discolouration on her skin just above her navel piercing still visible underneath her overcoat, Lightning hadn't realized just exactly what lying there on a hospital bed unmoving had done to her arms and lower legs until they'd felt like jelly a mere half an hour into the brisk jog that the doctors had allowed barely three days ago.

Hope could've looked better too—the way he held himself upright made her feel sure that the skin that'd been torn by the bullet was still tight, and Lightning reminded herself that that was something she had to keep her eye on the moment they began their climb upwards. Snow was already about halfway up—there was absolutely nothing that fazed him—staring out at the sun that was starting to set, spilling the reddish orange light across the sand dunes beneath them, one hand shielding his eyes from the glare. "Let's go," she said quietly, pulling at his shoulder; reaching behind her legs for the familiar weight of her weapon, she made sure, one more time, that she had everything she needed: the gunblade in her right hand and the small glass orb that she'd wrestled back from the techs the day previously, tucked into the red pack on her thigh along with her spare clip of bullets should the need arise for her to use them.

Hope's fingers brushed hers in a discreet movement that lasted perhaps a fraction of a second before he started up the crumbling steps after her—allowing a small smile to tug at the corner of her mouth, she let it go. _I promised I'd try to do things right this time around._

* * *

**So here's to hoping I did okay—like I said, the emotional intensity to this chapter was a struggle, truth be told, but I'm _hoping_ everything sounded realistic enough and I'm praying to this chocobo pillow right now that it came out okay. Eeep, I'm scared. I mean, I'm sure it could've been worse, but...**

***deep breath* Anyways, leave some love, pretty please (they make me smile and make me write all the faster)—and I'll try to make the next chapter happen as soon as it can be. As I mentioned a couple of chapters back, university starts back up tomorrow (someone help me), so I'm aiming for about a chapter a week (maybe more, maybe less; it honestly just depends on how much time I've got). See you all then!  
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**Hearts!  
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	34. From Pain, Awakening

**So hey there, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
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**Wow, I feel bad—it's almost been a week since I last updated, and it was only yesterday (Friday) and today that I really got a chance to write. But see what happens when you're inspired?—I wrote the vast majority of this chapter within the last 24 hours and I feel proud of myself at the moment, even if university is cutting into what I think of my private time with Light and Hope (yeah, I'm not creepy at all). I will also not bore you with my usual 'September' rant: the lines at the bookstore (all I needed was a new lab coat! :K), the sheer amount of people in my classes, and how I can't understand that one German prof that teaches my physio lecture. _Anyways. _On a topic that is related to XIII, _Hope_ has been confirmed for the new game! I wanted to dig myself a hole when I read that, I honestly did. It doesn't look like he'll have that big of a part (he's not playable to begin with, sadly) but that still made me grin like the stupid fangirl I am, haha.  
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**That being said, thanks and love go to: Guest (I know... right? I know. *trying to keep straight face*), 2 lol (yup, figured I'd exclude that particular subject out of my chapter this time around), Mylaervain (thank you so much — I sincerely hope I did get those chapters right!), GkMader (haha... I'm sure you're a brilliant writer myself; I haven't been in a formal _writing_ class for about two years now though so I'm glad you think it sounds nice!), Guest (haha, thank you very much!), ChileanGuest (awh, thank you so much - I try, and I'm glad you think I got it!), That One Reviewee (oh, you'll have to see... but yes, that hospital scene I mentioned awhile ago. *nods*) and H-thar (it's like Light said... when it comes to luck, it doesn't seem like they have any. But thank you - and I do agree, 'ridiculous' just about sums it up)! You guys are amazing, and like I've said, reviews make me write all the faster so thank you all again. :3  
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**And without further ado, I present Chapter 34.**

* * *

Chapter 34: From Pain, Awakening

Beams of sunlight crisscrossed with swirling motes of dust; locked in a celestial dance stirred only by the faint breeze, inhaling made Lightning want to cough. Resisting the dire urge to, she tried to distract herself with concentrating on keeping her balance on the stairs upwards. It still hurt slightly to walk faster than a casual pace and doing backflips was a feat she tended to be incapable of at the moment—not that she hadn't tried. Disgruntled, she had to accept the fact that she wasn't completely herself just yet… a fact that she would do well to remember on this mission.

Resting her hand on the worn, golden-brown stone for a moment, the warmth underneath her fingertips surprised her, though in retrospect, Lightning supposed it wasn't all that unusual; the desert heat here made it hard to believe that it was winter everywhere else on Gran Pulse. _And if only finding what we needed was as easy as just climbing these stairs… _

She had no idea how large these particular ruins were—but if the view outside had been any indication of the breadth of the stone that had been carved out of the mountainside, and knowing their luck when it came down to when they really needed it… _We're going to be here for awhile. _A sigh escaping her lips, Hope caught it, even though he was about eight steps behind her. "Something wrong?" he asked lightly over her shoulder.

Giving her head a small shake, Lightning pushed herself up the last few dozen steps; waiting for him at the top, she bit the inside of her lip when she realized that he was lagging behind. _Right… _Snow had already made his way down the hallway, chipped and crumbled away in whole sections about halfway down, humming absentmindedly to himself. It wasn't him she was worried about—Snow could take care of himself and he certainly didn't need her help in battle. "I should be asking you that," she murmured quietly when Hope caught up with them, slightly out of breath.

When he turned familiar emerald eyes on her, about to open his mouth, Lightning flicked her gaze back to make sure Snow was out of earshot. "Listen to me," she started quietly. The particular words had been on her mind for awhile—she knew they needed to be said, but whether he would take them well was another matter altogether… _But I have to say it. _"I know what we agreed on. But we can't be watching each other all the time in battle and there _will be_ a time when we can't stay together—Hope, _listen to me!"_ He'd opened his mouth to protest and she wasn't going to allow that… wasn't going to allow his vulnerability and sentiments to open hers; the ones that she'd worked to bury at the bottom of her chest. "I want to know that I can rely on you—to not do anything stupid and to know what's important when things come down to it. And what's important… isn't always what you might think is right," she clarified; he'd taken a step back at the intensity in her voice, and the familiar viridian gaze widened when he realized what she was talking about. "We're here for a reason. Okay?"

She'd been about to turn away—it would take him awhile to digest, and Lightning could accept that fact, knowing—strangely—how she would feel if those words had been said to her; before a hand curling around her upper left arm stopped her. "Lightning." Those two syllables, though they were hesitant and tentative, held an intensity of their own. "I know that. But I still—I still don't want you dying for 'the greater good'… okay? That's not what we're here for either." The expression in his eyes was one that seemed to be almost _pleading_—a not-so-subtle reminder that he wasn't much older than eighteen. _Someone who shouldn't have to deal with all of this. _

Though he didn't mean anything further with those words, she felt a stab of pain run through her chest the moment he voiced it. _The greater good. _The exact thing Serah had said she'd died for… and Lightning found herself clenching her hands into fists at the mere thought. _Stop it, stop it, _she berated herself; hating how easily that part of her past was pushed out. Something must've showed on her face, because the next moment, his hand moved to her upper arm. "Light?"

A defeated, pained sigh forced its way past her lips and Lightning closed her eyes, trying to control the rising emotions inside. "I don't want to lose you either," she said finally, the words grating past the sandpaper and thistles at the back of her constricted throat. "But there won't _be_ a future for us… if we don't do this." _Please tell me… you understand. _

Opening her eyes, the heavy look of pained understanding told her he knew all too well where her words and her reaction had come from, but the realization of that instilled a delicate feeling of stability, as she tried to keep her breathing to an even calm. "I know. I get it," he continued, voice dropping. "I know that we can't stay together the entire time, but we're both going to make it out of whatever's waiting for us alive… okay?"

Exhaling a soft sigh, she could understand where he was coming from. Though it went against what she'd been trained to do, the way she'd drilled herself to continue through life, she could relate to how he felt. And deep down, Lightning knew that it was in her somewhere to feel the same way; underneath the pain that her sister's death had left her and the determination to make things _right_ this time around… she knew that somewhere, she felt the same way. "I'll hold onto that." Leaning her forehead against his throat for the fraction of a heartbeat, she pulled away before things could continue in that direction. _That's not what we're here for either. _

The quiet chuckle behind her told her all she needed to know.

* * *

Dust blew in her face the moment Lightning stepped into the exposed section of hallway—the stone that had sealed it off from the desert sun and wind alike had been knocked down; whether it had happened because of centuries of weathering, or whether it had happened because of something else, she didn't know. Snow was about halfway down, fisting through the flaky, worn rock as though it wasn't solid, causing golden beams of sunset to shift over the shaded areas. She'd been about to ask what he was doing, before Lightning thought better of it. _It's probably better that I don't know. _

Besides, she didn't have a good reason to stop him unless he did something potentially dangerous, and with the almost unnerving silence that had settled over them the moment they'd left the stairs, she had to admit that he wasn't. Inhaling the stone dust, though, made her want to cough again—the fine particulates sticking to the back of her throat, they made it feel like sandpaper.

"Where should we start looking?" The quiet question was accompanied by a demure tug to her wrist as she turned around; Hope wasn't staring where Snow was, which was through the crumbled stone onto the desert sunset, he was looking the other way. Following his gaze, she realized what he was looking at a fraction of a heartbeat later.

Through the large cracks on the interior wall, Lightning could make out stone lattices led together by large chains, crisscrossing in seemingly random patterns; leading up to a stone spire that formed something that vaguely resembled a scale in the mountain's interior. Muttering a curse under her breath, she stopped by the crevice to take a closer look.

There didn't seem to be an easy way down—from the looks of things, they would have to jump, but that wasn't what concerned her. What concerned her was that there were so many stone platforms crossed with chains that Lightning didn't think they would be able to figure out the fastest way to the spire in the centre… which was obviously the only way to move on. "Damn." The hoarse curse behind her told her that Snow had finally cottoned on to what they were looking at.

"Took you long enough," she commented dryly, automatically reaching behind her legs for her weapon.

"Hey," came the hoarse protest. "I was trying to see if we were being followed."

Fighting the urge to snap, Lightning flicked her gaze back in Snow's direction for a moment, arching an eyebrow. "Really. And you wonder why the army won't take you seriously." The blond brawler looked confusedly blank for a few moments—clearly digesting her last words—before a grin spread on his face.

"That's because there're too many rules in the army—who needs that?"

_And he finally figures it out. _Rolling her eyes, Lightning bent down on a knee, carefully observing the expanse of space beneath them, wondering whether it would be safe enough to use her new Grav-Con unit she'd snagged from the military armoury before their departure.

* * *

Trying to keep his balance in the unexpected turbulent winds that greeted them the moment they'd landed on the stone lattice far below the ledge they'd jumped from, Hope cast a glance upwards towards the stone spire they were supposed to be making their way to. It hung above them; though the individual components of it were too far to make out clearly, the sight of one end of the scale that hung almost directly above them was intimidating—there wasn't a guarantee it wouldn't drop on them and who knew what would happen if it did?

That fear could be assuaged relatively easily; her earlier words still ringing in his mind, Hope found that while he still could feel a little disgruntled at the way she'd so adamantly cut him off… _I can accept it. _It'd taken them the hard way to learn that they couldn't force sentiments and ideals on each other—that they couldn't feel the same way all the time… and that some things, he just had to accept. _But it's… That's okay. _It was a new level of understanding—knowing how he felt, and also knowing how _she_ felt… and being able to accept things for what they were. _And deep down… I know that she's right. There _won't_ be a future for us if we don't do this. _

The rattling of the giant chain in the wind distracted him; Lightning was stepping lithely across it, footsteps barely making the chain tremble harder than it already was in the strong breeze. Swallowing thickly, Hope wondered if he could emulate her precise actions—he'd had his fair share of falls since everything had started and once he did, especially from a place like this, there would be no return. The bottom of the chasm the stone lattice was suspended over was dark—he couldn't even clearly see the bottom—and Lightning had the only Gran Con unit… if she even could get it to him in time before he did fall.

Gingerly placing his foot on the chain, he tried to ignore the wobbling of the centuries-old metal underneath him. "Don't look down!" Snow called from behind him—it was supposed to be encouraging, but it didn't seem that way to him; the direction _not_ to look down only made him _want_ to look down. _"I want to know that I can rely on you."_ The words that'd been said to him barely an hour ago were suddenly drawn up by the motion of the chain in the wind—Lightning had always placed an inordinate amount of trust in him; ever since their first journey, she hadn't treated him like a kid… she treated him like an equal. Sure, one that she had to occasionally prod in the right direction—harsh words or not—once in awhile, but she hadn't treated him like a child that needed constant attention.

Ironically, and almost cruelly so, their roles had almost been reversed not a year later—something that he'd embraced, out of fear of seeing the one person he'd always counted on to be strong to break down more than anything. But the one thing that that time hadn't changed was the fact that she'd come to rely on him for certain things—a responsibility he fully embraced… and secretly, one that he'd cherished. The dim memory of something that had happened in the past were dredged up by the scene before him: Lightning had her arms crossed over her chest, clearly waiting; an almost exact replica of something that had happened long ago.

"_Do you need me to hold your hand now?" _She'd said the words with her usual blunt, no-nonsense tone as she'd waited for him to make it across the narrow fallen column bridged across the icy lakefront, but it'd made Snow howl with laughter and Serah clasp her hands to her heart, beaming. He knew she hadn't meant anything by it, and the caustic bluntness behind the dry tones were only indicative of the fact that she was being sarcastic, but he couldn't forget the death glare Lightning given her Serah and her husband once she'd realized what they were laughing at, the barb rolling off her tongue almost instantly.

But it had been then that Hope had realized she'd only said it because she _expected _him to be okay—she'd _expected _him to be able to take care of himself… a confidence that had been sapped almost instantly after Serah's death. _I can't let her continue to think like that!_

It was on those thoughts that he pushed himself forwards; the metal links under his feet were wide—wide enough for him to step normally. Keeping his eyes forward, a particularly strong gust of wind almost made him tilt sideways; though it wasn't strong enough to actually push him over, it'd been unexpected. Biting lightly down on his bottom lip, Hope half-stumbled, half-hopped the last few paces needed to put his body safely on the other side of the chain link bridge. "Good job," came the quiet mutter—but when Hope looked up to find Lightning's teal gaze, there was only the trace of abrasive sarcasm decorating their ice blue depths. Feeling slightly sheepish, he turned back to follow her gaze, watching Snow leap confidently down onto the rusted metal. She opened her mouth—before closing it rapidly; pursuing her lips, Hope knew what she was thinking all too well… and despite the situation they were in, he had to fight a wry smile. _Some things never change. _

But he wasn't going to berate her for that—far from it. It'd been a long time since he'd seen Lightning act so normal… if 'normal' was even the word for things anymore. She reminded him of the old Lightning… and if he hadn't had anything else to go by, he might've said that there wasn't a difference between the woman that was standing in front of him now and the woman that had fought alongside him for most of the time he'd known her.

The differences were subtle—but they were there.

She was trying to keep her pain and doubts to herself; a tactic she'd always tried to employ… but didn't always work. The Lightning in front of him still had the blunt, abrasive edge to her words and actions, but they were shrouded now—subdued, even—by the inner fragility and lightheartedness that she'd tried to cast away so long ago. _'Claire', _as Serah had put it, so long ago.

_But changing your name… doesn't really change who you are. You're just showing who you _were_—expressing the feelings you told yourself were worthless—before everything that's happened stacked up on your shoulders. _Like some overbearing weight that might've weighed the world; and Hope could admit that it instilled a tenuous sort of happiness for the fact that she _could_ let herself feel that way around him now.

Snow gave him a discreet thumbs up when he finally stumbled over the last few steps—once Lightning had turned her back. Sidling over to him, the blond muttered the words in a low undertone. "Well, doesn't Sis sound chipper today." Wiggling his fingers devilishly, Hope realized Snow was waiting for him to elaborate. "Don't think she's called me an idiot for awhile now—though it's a pleasant change, for once."

Hope shrugged—he didn't want to discuss exactly what'd happened earlier and he had a nasty suspicion Snow would only laugh at him. _And if I _don't_ want her to kill me for telling him… _"None of your business," he mumbled quietly, trying to keep his eyes straight ahead, earning him another laugh from the brawler.

"Right," the big man crowed after him, laughing with his hands resting against the back of his head. "Sure, fine, keep your secrets from me—not like I don't know what went down anyways."

* * *

Disgusted, Lightning tried to keep her simmering temper under control; Snow could feel lucky that that particular effort was easier for her than it was trying to keep the rest of her inner wasteland under tight lock and key. Sure—it had been awhile since she'd felt 'normal'—though what 'normal' was these days, she didn't know anymore—enough to find that she could feel irritated at the big blond's antics, there _was _a line… a line that he was dangerously toeing with his insinuations and jokes. _But… _As irritated as she was becoming, there was a bittersweet aspect to it all; sure, she might've hated the jokes that were being pelted her way no matter how hard she tried to ignore them, but there was an underlying aspect to it all… that that was the way things had been before. _Before… _

Lightning willed herself to stop then and there. Sometime in between trying to contain her anguish that she just might've thrown everything that still meant something to her out the window… and trying to get feelings and sentiments straight with Hope, there was one thing she knew she had to accept. _I can't keep walking around feeling sorry for myself—I can't keep staring at everything in front of me only to have it remind me of things that happened before. _It hurt—and just like she'd known before, there were some things that were never meant to be forgotten. _But I can't let it… control my life. _

She knew—now—that thinking that way would only make the people who were _still here_—the people who _still cared_ about her—worry; Lightning could admit to herself that she didn't want that. She would never be able to disassociate from herself the pain that was always carried by certain things or words… _But I can't let it take over anymore. I _want_ to believe that things weren't my fault… that what happened… was meant to happen. _ It was a confidence that had long been taken from her; being rebuilt bit by bit by someone else, she could look at things a different way now.

_And Hope_, the small voice in the back of her head chimed. _You can't change the past, so you can make sure things don't happen again. _It was a goal that she could cling to—something she could _understand_, only compounded by the relief of the promise he'd made her earlier. _One that I returned. _

"_We're both going to make it out of whatever's waiting for us alive, okay?" _

It hadn't been a hard promise for her to make, and deep down, she wanted it. She knew she _wanted_ the future that the end of the fighting would mean… and Lightning could let herself admit that now.

Shadows cast on weathered stone grabbed her attention before her thought could continue—a reality check that she needed before she started thinking about the things that she'd already explicitly told herself _not_ to think about. Hand tightening on the handle of her weapon, the looming shadows cast by the scale hung far above them plunged her into near darkness; she could barely see the circular steps that spiralled upwards around the spire that led to the top. _Something's not right here… _

There was something off about the whole setup—and Lightning trusted her instincts.

It couldn't be this easy… could it? From the top of the spire, they would be able to see just about everything; it didn't matter if the place was huge because being up there—the tallest point inside the ruins itself—would allow them to see almost every aspect of the place. There had to be a catch—and knowing their luck, it would be a bad one.

The moment she placed her foot on the first step of the stairs, Lightning held her breath, fully expecting something to happen—the floor opening up in a yawn beneath them plunging them all into the abyss below, or some sort of weapon aimed right for her heart.

But nothing happened—the only sounds she could still hear over the wind were Hope's footsteps close behind her and Snow's continued laughter. "C'mon," the brawler laughed from somewhere behind her. "Things're a cakewalk, see?"

"Snow, I don't think—"

"_Shut up!_"

Both Snow and Hope closed their mouths almost instantly; staring at her with expectant green eyes, Lightning tried not to let the look get to her. But there _was_ something there—now that there was no more unnecessary sound around here, there _was_ something else audible over the sound of the wind.

She ducked just in time to let the fireball crash into the worn stone above her head; trying frantically to discern the source of the fire, there wasn't time to figure out exactly where it had come from before several more came flying their way—too well timed to be a coincidence. Covering her head with her hands to avoid the smoking, still-burning chips of stone that were being rained down around them, Lightning shoved her shoulder into Hope's back. "Get going!" Snow would have to look after himself for the time being—she had at least enough confidence in the brawler that he could make it up far enough so that he would be out of range of whatever the hell was trying to hit them with fire at the moment.

No, it was Hope, whom she'd already noticed still hadn't quite recovered from what'd happened a few weeks ago, she was worried about. Lightning was very briefly concerned over the thought of holding hands in public before that thought was wiped by another trio of fireballs that were sent their way.

Using one hand to shield the back of her head, her fingers found his as they scrambled up the winding stone steps. The other side of the central column from where they'd first been attacked was devoid of fireballs that were being aimed their way, but they couldn't stay there forever—and it was foolish to hope that whoever it was would simply run out of either firepower or magic before they hit _someone. _

Hope was clutching his side; pain shadowing his familiar emerald gaze as he leaned back against the stone… and suddenly, Lightning knew what he was going to say before he actually said it. "No," she growled, tightening her grip on her weapon. "Don't even think about it."

"But—"

"_Shut up!_" she repeated harshly. "You promised me that we'd both survive. Unless you said it so I'd feel better?" The words were sharper than she intended them to be, and the hesitancy in his viridian gaze had honestly scared her until she mentioned the word 'promise'. Hope looked surprised for a moment before a look of rueful determination crossed his expression; an acquiescence bordering a silent apology.

His grip on her fingers tightened slightly. "Sorry, Light."

Snorting before letting go, Lightning peered around the edge of the stone spire, only to duck back quickly when fire came whistling her way; the blast making contact with the rough stone, she'd caught a glimpse of where it was coming from. "Monsters," she muttered. _Should've figured—this place has been abandoned for who knows how long… of course there'd be monsters here. _The white flash of the gremlins in the distance stood out well enough… but she wasn't sure if she could hit them. It wasn't that she was worried about her aim—she was worried that she wouldn't have the _time_ to aim before the inevitable hit from a fireball crashed into her chest.

Hope edged closer to her; shoulders touching, the contact calmed her a little. "Can you hit them?"

Flicking her weapon into gun mode, Lightning took a breath, finding, to her dismay, that her hands were trembling slightly. _It's not a question of can or can't. __Some things... you just do. _Curling her fingers around the handle of the weapon, she willed them to stop shaking—it wouldn't improve her aim and Hope would notice sooner or later. _It doesn't change the fact that if I fuck up, we won't be getting anywhere. _The stone that formed the central spire wouldn't hold much longer under the continuous assault of the fire and if _that _was destroyed...

Snow was somewhere ahead of them—she could hear his echoing footsteps and as confident as she was in his abilities to not get himself hit by a fireball, Lightning was fairly sure there would be a problem once the entire spire that formed the base of the enormous scales came crashing down. _I have to do this. _Dropping to one knee, she edged closer to the side of the spire. "Stay put," she hissed back as Hope made a move to follow her.

Peering around the side of the stone, she caught the glimpse of a white flash—the gremlins were gathered on a stone ledge opposite. They were busy casting fireballs somewhere above them, no doubt aiming for Snow, and Lightning winced when several rocks were lobbed from over their heads, falling direly short of their target, hitting the stone and metal beneath them with several loud _clink_s. _Figures. __But this means... _

Pulling the trigger, some of her apprehension was alleviated once Lightning spotted one of the white, feathery creatures in the distance topple backwards; using the momentary distraction the situation presented, she pushed herself into a standing position; it was the position in which she had the best accuracy in and now that it was no longer as necessary to remain partially hidden behind the column it allowed for freer movement. Squeezing the trigger as fast as the mechanism would allow her to, she ducked underneath the renewed fire that was coming her way; shoulder rolling to the side and stumbling upwards a few steps, she kept her eyes on the writhing mass of gremlins in the distance.

"Hey you! Yeah, birdbrains, you! Up here!" Suppressing a snort, Lightning decided to let it go for the moment being—the shout had reattracted the gremlins' attention and that left her free to snipe the last two that were gathered on the precipice across from them. Hope sidled out from behind the spire where he'd remained—thankfully—once she lowered her weapon, letting out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"You did it," he murmured quietly, staring at the clump of white, feathery bodies in the distance. Carefully meeting his verdant gaze, she breathed out a soft snort through her nose, deciding to let what had happened in the heat of the attack silently lie. Silence settled between them for a few heartbeats—what'd happened was probably still on his mind as well, but Lightning wasn't in the mood to discuss it at the moment being. _He gets it. I don't need to say anything else. _

"_Hey_! C'mon and hurry up!" Snow's shout echoed painfully in the now silent expanse around them. "You can see _everything_ up here!" When she looked up again, Lightning found the same slightly-amused look decorating Hope's expression. For some reason, it made her want to smile—and that fact alone made her stop in her tracks.

_Wait... __what? _

It didn't feel right—but at the same time, it_ did_. Unsure of what had brought on that particular urge, Lightning tried to find the reason behind it, though at the moment, she couldn't. It wasn't like before—a desperate, pained panic she couldn't control no matter how hard she tried; the all-emcompassing emptiness that threatened to consume everything else. There was still a hint of pain—and there was no running from the old regret that still gnawed somewhere deep inside, but it was mixed with something else now.

It took her a few moments to realize what that 'something else' was... and as much as the inner soldier and what was left of her after Serah's death might've shied away from it, she knew what it was.

Deciding that it would probably be better if she dealt with the confusing mess of emotions at a later time, Lightning slowly let out a breath before placing her foot on the next step. _But I'll have to deal with it... sooner or later. _"Come on," she murmured quietly. "Before Snow does something dangerous in his excitement."

* * *

Stiff, unwavering beams of moonlight poked through the cracks and crevices left in the stone wall; even though it was night now, the breeze that blew in through those breaks in the stone was still warm. Back to the stone, Hope cast a furtive glance out of the corner of his eye. Snow was standing indignantly with his hands on his hips—a stance almost uncannily mirrored by Lightning. "_Don't _do anything dangerous," she instructed. "Don't go running off because you saw something 'interesting'."

"Sis, I get it, it's not like I haven't been on watch before. I won't do anything stupid, I won't fall asleep and I promise I'll wake you if there's something wrong. Anything else?" Clearly trying to mollify her, Snow put on a honeyed look. Snorting, Lightning turned away—but not before she caught his mutter. And if he could hear it from where he was sitting, Hope had absolutely no doubts that she had heard too. "Just because he makes you feel better doesn't mean you get to take it out on _me_."

Lightning turned with the ferocity and speed of a cobra waiting to strike its helpless prey. "Snow, don't push it." The icy finality in her voice made the big man take a step backwards; hands raised in a gesture of innocence, Hope caught the smirk the moment she turned again. Trying to keep his face composed as she approached, Hope fought to keep his face impassive in the hopes that he looked like he hadn't heard their exchange. She sat down beside him with a small huff, and for a moment, he was afraid to speak to her in case she was still angry.

The silence hung between them for about five minutes before she decided to break it—Hope noticed that she shot a glance Snow's way before she opened her mouth. "Are you okay? Your side," she clarified quietly, when she caught his slightly-confused look.

"W-what? Oh... yeah, it's fine." It wasn't—not completely—but he wasn't going to worry her with it. Part of him knew she would probably get angry with him too, if she found out, but for the moment being, it was a risk he'd take: they were all tired enough as it was—after finally reaching the top of the spire, it hadn't been immediately obvious in which way they were supposed to be going, and Snow had picked their default choice: random. Having no better ideas, Lightning had exchanged a dubious glance with him before starting off after the blond brawler... but whether they were going anywhere, Hope didn't know. The path that Snow had chosen had led to another hallway and Hope had the nasty feeling they'd been going in some sort of circle, though he didn't volunteer that thought.

She nodded once at his response, but it was awhile before she spoke again. "I have a question." For a moment, Hope was surprised—the tone in her voice wasn't biting; if anything, it was genuinely _curious_ and it assuaged some of the other fears that he hadn't had the courage to express to her. The harshness of her tone earlier still made him cringe, and even though Hope knew she'd been right, the blazing ferocity in her expression had honestly scared him.

Taking a breath, he tried to keep his voice natural. "What is it?"

Lightning raked her hands through her hair before she continued. "This afternoon. You didn't have a problem with me killing those monsters... but you have a problem with fighting those Meurites?" There wasn't any outright accusation in her tone, but Hope swallowed thickly all the same.

"There's a difference," he mumbled, tracing a finger through the dust on the ground beneath them.

"Which would be..."

"It's just... with them, it's much more like killing humans," he confessed. "With monsters... they're out after you for no reason—just because you're _there_. But with them, they're after all of us for a reason. That's what makes me think that we could, you know, attempt to reason."

Lightning was silent for a long moment; hands clasped around her knees, she let out a sigh before she spoke again. "Yeah... I guess I can understand where that comes from," she murmured, before looking down in earnest. Hope hesitated; dwindling courage getting the better of him, it was a struggle to get the syllables out before it was completely overtaken by fear.

"Hey... Light? You're... okay now, right?" The swift glance she gave him confirmed that she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"'Okay?'" she asked quietly. "I wonder. Sometimes, it's hard to know what's 'okay', anymore; what's normal for me and what's not. But I _do _know what you mean. It's just... hard to forget, you know?" Pressing her fingertips against her face, she breathed out a heavy sigh before continuing. "Maker knows I'll never forget—and there's always going to be something that's going to remind me, no matter how I feel. Every time someone does something that reminds me of her, every time I hear the word 'sister'... I can't help it. It's going to be there, and I know I won't be able to do anything about it. But I realized something," she confessed, lowering her head a little. " I can't—it won't help me, if I just sit there feeling sorry for myself... if I go through every single fucking day thinking 'what could I have done' and 'what should I do now'. That's not—it doesn't make anything better. So I told myself to stop—to just _accept_ things for the way they were and to... keep going, I guess." Looking up, she rested the knuckles of her hand against her nose. "You made me realize that."

"I-I did?" It was hard to keep the surprise out of his voice—it was the only thing he could comfortably acknowledge at this point past the weight of her confession and the growing lightness in his chest that she finally seemed to be _accepting_ what he and Snow had tried to instill in her for all these years.

She flicked her gaze back at him. "Yeah. When I realized... you know, that I cared," she said simply. "About you."

Though it was by no means a reciprocation of that moment, Hope found that the simple sentence made him feel unbelievably light; and the words in themselves made him want to doubt what he'd just heard. Lightning left it at that—while he could admit that it made him feel a little disgruntled that she didn't want to elaborate further, a part of him told him it was enough; he'd said it himself—Lightning didn't dish out "I love yous" because she felt like it... and actually _hearing_ her say something along those lines aloud was more than enough.

Edging closer to her, the point was underlined when she didn't even flinch at the contact between the skin on their arms, though Hope was afraid to take it further, knowing that it was something she had qualms about when Snow—or anyone else, for that matter—was around...though he didn't see how the big blond _couldn't_ have seen or noticed it. "So thank you," she murmured quietly.

* * *

**So whoops; I _thought_ this chapter was going to be more action orientated than it actually was, but I guess things didn't work out that way. Oh well, hopefully none of you guys are complaining and I can go find my wet towel for my forehead in hopes that I didn't bungle whatever the hell this chapter was supposed to signify somewhere down the line... **

**Leave love if you so desire—I'd love to hear what you guys thought, as usual—and hopefully the next chapter won't take me as long; _hopefully_ by Wednesday or Thursday if university allows for that, so I will see you soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	35. Against the World

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

***hides behind my moogle plushie* I am _so _sorry about the lateness of this chapter; university has been hectic and between _that _and the general chaos that surrounds my life, I haven't had much time to write _at all. _I've been working on this chapter on and off since last Sunday_—_not that things've been easy for Light and Hope to begin with, but... you know... Forgive me? **

**Much love to: 2 lol (and oh yes, school does that_—_and well, yes, I get a lab coat. That I have to pay for, isn't that lovely?), Lieutenant General Sora Hikaru, LawMan (Yeah, I'll admit, I don't go easy on her, but if Hope makes her happy...), That One Reviewee (aha, school_—_the bane of us all, don't we all wish it was still summer?), H-thar (oh yes... *pets her* I so wish I could elaborate on "my Light" but that would make this too long_—_and I think it would delve into fangirling somewhere down the line, so... *coughs* But yes, that is indeed the case though I don't think I address it this chapter; you're right though_—_on more than one count. :3), GKMader (oh yes, Snow... Light just never gets tired of making a jab at him, you know? And *coughs* aha, future projects will come... eventually), Mylaervain (thank you very much_—_and yes, running and fighting get tiring after awhile, no? Everyone's gotta sit down and think once in awhile), and ChileanGuest (I probably should_—_would make things easier on myself to begin with, but for me, personally, a fight isn't meaningful if there isn't emotion behind it. ;D Thank you, though, and yes, damn right!)! You guys really know how to make a girl smile and it makes me feel worse that I had to make you all wait. *droop***

******So hopefully, _hopefully_, the length of this chapter makes up for the lateness of it****_—_**enjoy as always!  


* * *

Chapter 35: Against the World

_Hands slipping on the slick, smooth surface, Lightning tried to keep her grip on the edge of the precipice… but her fingers were gripping at thin air and she knew it. There was no easy way to climb back up and there would be a long way for her to fall; desperation consuming her actions, she tried, once again, to pull herself back up._

_Claws rested on the back of her hands—both of them—and the gesture might've been gentle had it not been for the fact that the sharp nails were digging into the skin near her wrists, drawing blood. "Let go of me!" she spat, trying to wrench her palms out from underneath the unwelcome force. But struggling didn't work, nor did digging her feet into the surface below where she was hanging, trying to kick herself away. And for some reason, she couldn't see who was holding her in place: every time she twisted her neck upwards, it was like she was trying to look at something with neither form nor body. _

_But it was speaking to her._

_She couldn't hear the words, but it was moving its mouth, forming syllables she couldn't discern. In one fluid movement, she wrenched her right hand free, mindless of the scarlet droplets that splattered the ground in the wake of the movement, using the momentum to finally push herself upwards; scrambling up onto the precarious ledge, she came face to face with the formless figure, its shape constantly shifting as though given life by an unseen breeze. _

_Phantom fingers curled around her waist, the force of it arching her lower back. The name was carried on a ghosting whisper, brushing by her right ear. "Claire."_

* * *

Hope was jolted awake by the sound of a scream knifing through the cool night air, its pitch terrifying and chilling when his body registered whose tones it was in before his mind had; for a moment, fear seized him—what if she'd run off again while he'd been asleep?—before the warmth still pressed against his right side brought that thought to a grinding halt.

His heart knowing what it was before he'd even had the chance to turn around, Hope was still unprepared for the almost frantic way Lightning's eyes snapped open the moment he gripped her by the shoulder. Trying to disregard how badly she was shaking and the dark pink locks plastered to her temples with damp sweat, the look in her eyes honestly scared him; for a moment, it was like she didn't know who he was.

Panic and anguished desperation clouded the aquamarine gaze that had been filled with a tranquility he hadn't seen in them in a long time just a few hours ago; for a moment, he _was_ scared that she didn't know who he was, the fear of that fueling directly into his unwillingness to croak her name out aloud. Thumping footsteps heralded the arrival of Snow, but the big man stopped short once he realized what was happening. Mouth frozen and at a loss of what to say, he glanced over at Hope, who was, in all honesty, feeling just as helpless at the moment.

Snow took a hurried step backwards, mouthing words as he stumbled over a rock in the process. "_I'll leave this to you?" _Staring helplessly after the retreating beige trench coat, Hope almost didn't want to turn back to her, afraid of what he would find. _I've never seen her like this before… _Even when she'd had nightmares before… she knew who he _was_ when he'd woken her up—the Lightning in front of him was staring at him as though he wasn't there. "What's wrong… Light?" _Why're you… please don't… _

She closed her eyes; slender hands suddenly balling the front of his shirt, a short cry leaving her lips as she did so. "Light?" He couldn't tell whether the sounds she was making were sobs or dry heaves; nails closing around the fabric, the only thing he could do was pull his arms around her lower back, hoping the gesture would calm her.

But it didn't—Lightning arched her back against the touch so swiftly it was like he'd stabbed her with a knife; muscles tensing instantly, the motion tore another cry from her lips. Hope let go of her with excruciating swiftness, fear pushing through his bloodstream in time with his pulse, irrational terror was beginning to gather at the back of his mind. _Was it something I did… or said? _ For some reason, that thought hurt—and it scared him. Hope wanted to back away—this was something he didn't know how to deal with and just like before… it scared him that she was in obvious pain and there was nothing he could do about it.

Lightning's fingers were still tangled in the collar of his shirt, preventing the movement and he didn't want to pry her away from him, for fear that that would make it worse. Shoulders slumping, Hope was unprepared for the moment her forehead came to rest on his throat, the top of her head against his jaw. "I'm sorry," came the hoarse whisper. "I didn't—I didn't mean to…"

Swallowing thickly, Hope was _afraid_ to touch her again, scared that it would elicit the same reaction from her. Trying to compromise that fear with the want to reassure her—or was it himself?—that things were okay, he hesitantly reached for her again, hands gripping her slender arms, finding to the increasing relief inside that she was no longer fighting it. "What happened?" He was surprised to find that his voice sounded stronger than he felt inside. _Light… don't scare me like this. _

"Nightmare," she breathed out, the syllables riding on a pained breath—before something snapped. "It was her—it was her_ voice_!" The words burst out in a hoarse rush; heavy with pain, it was a moment before Hope cottoned on to what she was saying.

"W-who?" The question slipped out, even though Hope knew he already knew the answer. _So that's why… _

Lightning raised her head slightly; relieved that her aggravated blue eyes were calmer and the pain in their depths looked much more controlled than the anguished panic that had decorated them earlier, she pulled back a little before replying. "Serah." Shaking her head, raking her hands through sweaty, tangled locks of hair, she bowed her head slightly. "I'm sorry," she repeated, "I didn't mean to react that way… and I didn't—"

Hope bit down on his bottom lip. _It's not her fault that you didn't try to help her earlier… _There was a faint flare of guilt at the way he'd knelt there, honestly unsure of what to do, thoroughly terrified of the blank look in her eyes. _I didn't mean to react that way either. _"Do you want to talk about it?" he offered; to his intense relief, she seemed to be calming down; the hoarse pain in her voice was gradually being replaced by a low tone that denoted forced control, though her fingers still held their fine tremble even though Hope knew she was making an effort to control it, clenching them into slender fists.

"I just want to forget," she mumbled quietly, drawing away from him to pull her arms around her knees. "It—I don't want bother you with it. It was stupid," she admitted softly, "I _knew_ it couldn't have been her, I just…" Forcibly taking in a deep breath, she dropped her head to her chest, pastel pink hair falling into her eyes. "I'm pathetic," she mumbled quietly. "Here I am; I _just _told you I knew I had to keep going, and all it takes is _one_ nightmare to…"

Hope shifted his weight uncomfortably. The fear that had gripped him a few minutes earlier was beginning to recede now; relief was instilled by the fact that she seemed to be coming to terms with what'd happened—that she _knew _who he was, for starters, and that she seemed to know what was going on, even though he somehow knew inwardly that the shadow of lingering pain in her eyes wouldn't be easy to assuage. _But I already asked… _Gently resting a hand on her shoulder, relief heightening when she didn't pull away, Hope held her gaze when she lifted her head again. _Let's try… something else. _

If he was honest with himself, Hope wasn't sure if it would work—but anything would be better than if she went down _that _lane again. "D'you want to talk about something else?" _Maker, please tell me this'll work. _

"What?" She looked up at him sharply, but to Hope's intense relief the remaining vestiges of panic seemed to be fading from her eyes, being claimed by curiosity akin to amusement. Shifting again under her gaze, but for completely different reasons that he was more than satisfied with, he felt a little sheepish.

"You know," he started quietly, feeling a prickle of pain stab through his own chest at the memory. "When I was growing up, I was always told that talking about something else made you forget what you were thinking about."

She laughed quietly—it didn't quite reach her eyes, but it was enough, for the moment being. Brushing the back of her hand across her face, rubbing at her eyes, Lightning shook her head a little. "You're ridiculous," she murmured, a hint of amusement entering her husky voice. "But… thank you."

The comment—instead of discouraging him—reassured him, in some odd way. _She _will_ be okay… right? I have to believe it. _"So talk," she commanded, rocking back on her heels to lean against the stone wall again.

Swiveling his head around, Hope was speechless for a moment. "W-what?"

"You suggested it," came the reply. "So… start."

It was his turn to chuckle. "Who's being ridiculous now?"

* * *

Rubbing at her eyes with the heel of her hands, Lightning tried to suppress the unease in her chest. Inwardly, she knew she was both frightened and embarrassed about what had happened the previous night—she'd barely noticed it at the time, but the fear in Hope's emerald gaze was hard to forget and she _knew_ she'd scared him. _I didn't mean to… _She was quite sure he might've gotten up and bolted the moment she reacted to the touch that she _knew_ was meant in comfort if she hadn't been holding onto his collar, an act that prevented that. _I'm sorry. _

And in retrospect, she knew the way she'd reacted was irrational—it was a nightmare; it wasn't supposed to make sense and it was only fed by her own fear of her past. _I told myself I wouldn't let that happen again. _A faint flush made its way up her neck and throat when Lightning thought back to the way they'd ended up; the weaker moment hadn't allowed for her inhibitions—when sleep had finally clouded over the fear and panic that the nightmare had brought, she'd leaned her head against his shoulder—the fact that they were in full view of Snow didn't even register—warmth wrapped around her shoulders, and when she'd woken up, Hope was gone.

For a moment, she'd felt confused and curiously _abandoned_; before Lightning remembered that Snow would've woken him up sometime in the night to swap. Pale morning sunlight staining the rocks with pearly blotches that didn't quite reach the very back corners of the corridor they'd picked, she'd found him perched on a rock, arms held loosely at his sides, milky morning sun touching golden highlights to his silver hair. "Hey." Glad to hear that the barely-controlled panic was _out_ of her voice, the calm serenity in his emerald gaze when he turned to face her had helped push down the lingering vestiges of the dream.

Hope scrutinized her for a long moment; trying to maintain some aspect of composure, Lightning raked her hands through her hair, pulling out the knots in the unruly curls twisted over her shoulder. "You sound better." The tone in his voice was carefully neutral, as though he was testing the waters.

She shrugged, before turning her gaze on him in earnest. "Listen, Hope. About last night… I'm sorry."

Hope raised an eyebrow—it was something _she_ often did and for some strange reason, it amused her that he was choosing to employ it just now. "But… you already apologized." Confusion decorated his tone as he shifted slightly to fully face her.

She breathed out a sigh; Lightning could admit that the perplexed expression in his viridian gaze looked cute, in a childish way. "It doesn't—it doesn't change the fact that I scared you," she mumbled quietly, picking at a stray thread on her uniform with her nails, fighting the desire to reach for her weapon as a source of a reality check. _I really didn't mean—_

"Is that what you're worried about?" he queried gently. "Don't be. It's okay—it wasn't… _I _wasn't…" Moving over, she took the discreet offer for her to sit down beside him.

"You're sure about that?" _It's not that I don't believe him, it's that I just don't think he's telling me the whole truth._

Hope heaved a sigh—perhaps he'd sensed that she wasn't going to give up so easily just because he'd said so; a terse look of acquiescence slipping into his gaze, mixed with an exasperated sort of amusement at her refusal to believe him quite so easily. "Okay," he clarified quietly. "You _did_ scare me, at the beginning," he confessed, "but once you'd figured things out… it was—don't worry about it, alright?" Ducking his head sheepishly, their foreheads brushed; feeling the scratch of platinum bangs against her own, Lightning exhaled through her nose, finding that the contact calmed her significantly more than it probably should've—and sent fingers of warmth down her back with an almost painful swiftness. "But you're okay now, right?"

"Relatively," she supplied; it was probably better that she gave him the honest truth. "It's probably going to come back at some weaker moment, but for now…" she trailed off, unsure of what to expect. A rough thumb bumped against her jaw, prompting her to look up in surprise.

She met Hope's anxious verdant gaze equally, finding the quiet relief instilled in their depths something she could focus on to keep the resolve she'd just made—along with something else. It wasn't an expression she was unused to nor was it unwelcome; it was an expression that she still hadn't quite come to accept from him just yet.

But whatever qualms or uncertainty that she still had about it mentally, her body gave into it with an almost fluid ease; her hesitation melted away like fire on ice when Hope ran his tongue across her bottom lip. Mouth parting instinctively, Lightning let herself relax for a few heartbeats, willing for the moment to take away the past for the seconds it would last.

Pulling away reluctantly after a few minutes, she wanted to chuckle at his childish whine of protest. "We should stop before Snow wakes up," she mumbled against his throat. Hearing Hope's quiet laugh in response, she pushed herself to her feet, oddly self-conscious about the faint flush she knew was still on her cheeks.

His gaze followed her as she stood, amusement still glimmering his gaze. "You really care about that, don't you?"

"Tell me this _after_ you're the subject of one of his tactless jokes," she challenged him, flicking her cape over her shoulder in a motion to make her way towards the brawler in question.

* * *

Breathing hard, Lightning found herself growing more and more uneasy the further they progressed into the ruins. The sameness of the walls was getting to her—and even keeping all of her senses on alert for any sign of danger, there was nothing there. Silence as thick as the stone around them was the only thing that was dominant, and even Snow's flippant jokes died out after a while.

But the swift pace she was forcing her body to adopt kept her mind off things—Hope aside, there'd been the issue of the dream she'd had last night. _I feel okay _now_, but… _It was like she'd told Hope earlier—it would no doubt come back to haunt her at some weaker moment and she could not—_could not_—let that particular moment come in the midst of a battle… like she'd done so stupidly once before.

Something brushed by her arm; Lightning snapped before she even turned around, exhaustion and frustration at herself for the things that had happened fueling her irritation. "Snow, if this is your idea of a joke, it's not funny. We all have better things to do and—"

"Sis, I wasn't touching you!"

"Light, he's right, nobody was—" Whipping around, Lightning had fully expected Snow to be standing just behind her, but to her annoyance and confusion, for once, the big man had been telling the truth: he was standing a few feet back, even further away from her than Hope, who she trusted had the common sense to not be grabbing her out of the blue. _So what the fuck… _

Rock exploded into her face as the wall facing her crumbled under some unseen pressure; instinctively moving her hands up to shield her face, Lightning felt every muscle in her body tense when an unearthly wail came from the pile of rubble. It wasn't the paralyzing screech that accompanied a Cie'th: it was low, guttural, and reminded her of a behemoth.

But there was nothing there—the expanse of space revealed by the crumbled wall held nothing but dust and chipped stone, and for a moment, Lightning wondered if she'd been imagining things, as ludicrous as that thought was. The moment she'd been about to back away to move on, claws erupted from the floor beneath them; twisted, spindly grey flesh that morphed quickly into claw shaped scythes far, far larger than her own body. Leaping out of the way, she couldn't contain the hiss of surprise when the grey, slimy tentacle slammed into the wall beside her, missing the skin of her exposed right shoulder by a few inches. Writhing masses of grey flesh snaked onto the path of the corridor before them, crushing the stone like it was nothing more than chalk dust. Raising a hand to cover her mouth, Lightning aimed the weapon in her hand at the flesh of what she could only assume was a monster—the bullets stopped the advance of the tentacles… but just barely. "_Run!"_

Thick columns of grey matter slammed down onto the stone around them, but what she _couldn't_ discern was where it had come from—the tentacles were about as wide as her arm and there wasn't a source that she could see… apart from the path that was underneath her feet. _But that's not possible; what could be—_ Snow's shout distracted her from the thoughts teeming in her mind; Lightning looked up to see grey-brown figures explode onto their way back; twisted, headless figures with skin the same consistency of the tentacles they'd just barely avoided, she had to fight the disgust that rose at the back of her throat once she noticed their arms—octopus-like and extended like whips, it took her only a fraction of a heartbeat to connect them with the attack they'd just evaded.

"Cie'th?" Hope's voice was beside her shoulder; a swift glance at the expression in his emerald confirmed the subtle fear she felt. _How are we supposed to win? _With flesh as resistant to the bullets as they were, the only other option was to go in for a direct attack. _Not the smartest plan on a good day. _It didn't matter if the Cie'th were blind and their movements sporadic and uncontrolled; they'd already located them and that only spoke to their ability to track. "I don't – know." The words came out in a hoarse rasp as Lightning hesitantly took a step back, warily keeping her eyes on the three mutant Cie'th heading towards them. They weren't fast; limbs jerking in directions that they couldn't seem to control, the tentacles protruding from their arms ripped gouges in the wall that happened to get in their way. Letting out another shriek, one twisted its body in Snow's direction; the blond brawler was standing several feet in front of them—fists raised, he raised his thick right arm in the motion of a punch, knocking back the slimy grey flesh extended in his direction easily.

But the Cie'th wasn't done; retaliating with a speed that she wouldn't have known it possessed just by watching it move, the lashing grey flesh came towards Snow again; ducking backwards, the tip of the tentacle dug into the stone behind him, writhing as it missed its obvious target. Closing her free hand into the back of Hope's shirt, Lightning pulled him back along with her as the grey flesh slithered towards them with unnatural speed; slimy, scaly skin glimmering faintly in the morning sun. "Let's go!"

The expanse of floor that the larger tentacles had ripped out of the ground before them loomed ominously ahead of her as Lightning let go of Hope—he was better off without her trying to half-drag, half-lead him across the hallway and the larger, slate-grey columns of sickly flesh had vanished, leaving the chasm open just beneath their feet. Skidding to a stop, she winced when the echoing wail of the Cie'th sounded painfully close behind them; though they weren't fast, the reach in their arms were long and one blow would be powerful enough to knock someone out. Scanning her eyes quickly over their surroundings, she had to appreciate just how fast things had gone from under control to hellish—within the span of five minutes; chased by Cie'th and now short on time, things couldn't have looked worse.

Shifting dust came from above her head, flakes of stone settling in her hair and making her want to cough more badly than ever, the gouge ripped into the ground before them was wide—she could've probably made it in terms of a jump, but whether everyone else could… _And there's no way in hell I'm taking chances now. _The only way forward was to slip through the hole in the wall the Cie'th had created in its first attack and hope that that would throw the mutant ones after them at the moment off their trail for a few minutes; enough for them to catch their breaths and formulate some sort of new plan.

Motioning silently, she hoped that Hope and Snow would take the cue to remain silent; stumbling forwards into the abrupt darkness, it was suddenly hard to see. Rubbing her eyes with aggravated hands as though it would help them adjust to the dimness faster, the scent of rotting wood and mold hit her nose as Lightning reached out a hand towards the walls, trying to find some form of support while her body adjusted to their new surroundings.

Moss and other plant material carpeted the ground, muting their footsteps—but that worked both ways: they wouldn't be able to hear the approach of an enemy either. _But they'll make noises… right? _Safe for the moment being, counting on the blindness of the Cie'th to conceal them, she could hear her heartbeat hammering in her throat as they set off at a run down the new pathway; past caring about where it led to. Every foreign sound made Lightning feel like she was going to have a heart attack—every single corner that they took sent a surge of adrenaline through her system not unlike the anxiety she'd had the very first mission she'd been sent out on as a rookie. _Get a grip, Farron; you're a professional. _Heart leaping into her throat the moment a mutant Cie'th launched itself into their way, scythe like claw on one hand swiping furiously at the air, its odd gait carrying it forwards with a speed that didn't look possible in its gnarled, deformed body, her fingers tightened on the trigger before she was even aware of what she was doing.

Fear spiked in her system when Lightning realized that one bullet wasn't enough—it didn't matter that she'd shot it in the throat; it had no blood to begin with and the attack only seemed to aggravate it as it swiped it clawed forearm at her head. Leaping backwards, she was pulling the trigger as fast as the mechanism would allow her to; it was only when she'd sunk three bullets into its chest that it finally stopped. Keening over backwards, it let out a shriek as it twitched a few times before falling into a limp, shapeless mass of grey flesh on the ground.

"_That_… was close," Snow panted behind her; folding in her weapon—but not loosening her grip on it—Lightning turned to see that the brawler had relaxed slightly, though his fists were still tensed in an attack posture. "So what's the plan? We need one, don't we?"

Pulling in a breath, her erratic heartbeat still pulsing wildly in her bloodstream, Lightning leaned against the cool stone of the inner wall, trying to think. _Plan… Right. _"We still need to get it," she rasped out. "It doesn't matter if there're Cie'th out there after us—we need it."

Snow grinned at her. "Was hoping you'd say that, Sis. So, full steam ahead?" He took a step forward in the direction of the turn in the corridor before she snagged the elbow of his jacket in her hand.

"Not so fast," she growled at him. "If we do this _your_ way, we'll be fighting for days." Snow looked confused for a moment, a mixture of hurt and amusement decorating his face before he decided on the former, ocean blue gaze taking on the look that had always worked on Serah.

And the moment that thought crossed her mind, it was like something had hit her in the chest like a physical blow—struggling to keep her face and expression neutral, Lightning slowly clenched the fingers of her left hand into a fist, hoping that no one had noticed the momentary change in her expression and the slight tremble in her fingers. _I'm scared to turn around for that very reason. _

So when she heard Hope approach her, she knew that he'd noticed. _Please don't call me out on it… _Her attempt at trying to suppress the flare of sudden pain in her chest coming out as a forced sigh, Lightning gave her head a half shake, hoping that that would be enough to deter Hope from whatever he wanted to do or say; muted gratitude unfurled inside when she realized he'd taken the hint, she tried to focus on the matter at hand.

"Awh, but Sis…."

"Don't argue with me," she snapped, the words coming out harsher than she intended them to in her desperation to conceal the panic that had taken over all too easily. "We can't spend our time fighting them—we'll never make it."

"They're strong," Hope murmured beside her—whether he'd said it as a general statement, or as a musing thought, Lightning couldn't tell.

Flicking her gaze up towards him for a moment, his expression was concealed in the dimness of the corridor they were currently in. "Yeah." _We can't afford to take them all on the way Snow has in mind. _"So—"

A howl close to them—much, much closer than she would've wanted—interrupted her; breaking into a run instinctively, she let Snow take the lead. Pushing Hope ahead of her, she kept an eye on his back while constantly checking over her shoulder to gauge the distance between them and the Cie'th that had erupted out of nowhere. She _wanted_ to think that they'd been there all along—that their entry into the ruins had triggered the attack—but somehow, Lightning didn't think so; it was so, so convenient to just push a bunch of monsters into the place that they were all headed and hope to wipe them out. She didn't _want_ to believe that there was someone else out there pulling the strings… _But what other explanation would there be? Our luck can't be _that_ bad. _

She would've liked to voice those particular theories out loud, but the quality of the air around them was starting to decrease; between that and the effort it took to keep the pace needed in order to keep a safe distance in between them and the Cie'th, it didn't leave any room for talk.

Breathing and heartbeat erratic, she'd been about to suggest a break when the rumbling began again, quaking the floor underneath their feet and dislodging clumps of mossy plant material from the walls and ceilings. Shrieks mixed with shouts of surprise grating into her ears, the only thing Lightning managed to do was to find a grip on Hope's wrist, pulling him backwards, when thick grey tentacles erupted from the ground beneath them, twisting and spiralling into angry contortions.

Pushing him behind her, ignoring the quiet whimper of protest that came from his lips, she raised her gun at the very tip of the tentacle—it had paused, as though the Cie'th it belonged to was trying to decide which one of them to attack first.

The bullets that she fired at it didn't seem to have any effect; the impact was there, but the small metal projectiles didn't seem to stop the advance of the steel-grey flesh as it suddenly lashed out towards them. Reacting on almost total instinct, she used her body to push Hope to one side. Both of them ending up on the ground, gunblade pressed into the stone underneath her hand, the thick tentacle punched through the section of wall behind where they'd just stood, shaking the foundations of the entire passageway.

That was when more tentacles exploded from the ground beneath them, splitting the ancient rock and widening the chasm that the first attack had already created in the ground; Snow was rapidly backing away from the edge it formed, obscenities leaving his mouth in shouts he didn't seem to care to control, when another, piteously human yell caught her attention.

For a moment—one heart stoppingly terrifying moment—Lightning thought it was Hope; she'd turned her attention away from him the moment Snow had let out his first yell. Fear seized her heart and chest like ice, before hands closed around her shoulders, trying to pull her upwards. "Light, get up!" Allowing herself to be pulled up, she met his gaze, trying to find the comfort she almost always did in his emerald gaze.

But that didn't happen today—the viridian irises were shadowed with a fear she knew to be inherently mirrored in her own—that they _wouldn't_ make it out alive—when the second yell distracted them both. "Light!" Turning her head around, she saw what he was trying to warn her about the moment the syllable left his lips.

The yell hadn't come from Snow, who was backing away from where he was standing a few feet away from the base of the mass of writhing tentacles, but what took her a few heartbeats to discern as _someone_ held tight in the grips of the tentacles far above their heads. It took her a few seconds further to recognize the man as a soldier—recognition flickered in the depths of his mud brown eyes as his panicked gaze met hers.

And for a moment, it was like the world stood still; the shrieks and howls far off in the distance all stopped at once—silence consumed the air around them. The man might've made an attempt to reach an arm out to her; Lightning wasn't sure of the meaning of the twitching movement of his body, with Hope's hands still gripping her upper arm and free hand—before his form was swallowed by the writhing flesh of the giant Cie'th.

Warm, scarlet drops suddenly sprayed into the air, landing on her hair and face. Her mind hadn't quite processed what had happened—but her body had. She didn't need the motion her body automatically took—raising the hand not trapped in the confines of Hope's to touch the liquid left on her skin—to know that it was blood.

The instinctive cry of shock and disgust leaving her lips before she could stop it, Lightning wanted to slap herself; Hope had let go of her with a hoarse gasp the moment the sound had left her lips—the abject horror clouding his gaze speaking all too loudly that her cry had confirmed what the sticky warmth splattered down both their fronts was. Swallowing against the surge of nausea that instantly attacked the back of her throat when she turned to face him; the sight of blood streaked down his face and hair—even though she knew it wasn't his—clawed at the fears she'd been struggling to contain. _Stop it, stop it_, she ordered herself.

"Sis, over here!" Snow's shout was barely audible over the unearthly sounds the mutant Cie'th was making; the beige, ridiculously tattered trench coat was barely visible in the gloom, half hidden underneath a twisting mass of grey-brown flesh. Boots making a squelching sound on the worn stone of the corridor's floor, Lightning tried not to think about what she was actually stepping on—it only made the barely-suppressed nausea worse and she didn't have time to think about that: between trying to make sure that the tentacles didn't snag her next and making sure the same thing didn't happen to Hope, she couldn't allow herself to focus on that.

Ducking under flailing Cie'th limbs, remembering that it was blind, Lightning found her fingers unconsciously reaching for his wrist; pulling Hope down the crumbled stones of rock into a trench created by the Cie'th itself. Snow was crouched on the opposite side, scarlet stains blossoming down the front of his trench coat and shirt. _And even on him... I can't—_ The sound of a thick tentacle slapping the ground made them all wince; clearly, the gigantic Cie'th was trying to find out where they were... and it was only a matter of time before it did. "Now what?" she rasped at him, trying keep her voice down and maintain a passive face at the same time, even though she could feel the blood beginning to dry on her face and hair. Resisting the urge to scratch at it, Snow pointed a finger down in the direction where the Cie'th had sprouted from the floor.

Through the constantly shifting grey limbs and the crumbling dust that promised an imminent cave in sooner or later, the open space that they'd first traversed through was visible_—_it wasn't exactly a better place to be than they were right now, but it was better than the death they'd just witnessed. Snow mouthed the words at her. _"Let's go?" _

_We don't exactly have much choice here. _Still slightly shaken, she tried to banish the images from her mind_—_they weren't exactly making it easier for her to concentrate on the matter at hand and right now, she couldn't afford to get distracted. _Just get yourself together__—_you'll be fine. It only took one glance at Hope for that resolve to weaken, but Lightning fought it, determined not to let it take over for his sake if not for her own.

Snow had already crept ahead on his hands and knees; taking his cue to follow suit, Lightning looked up to meet Hope's gaze. The earlier indecision and fear gone_—_replaced by a grim sort of determination that she wasn't unfamiliar with_—_she found that she could feel slightly more reassured at the fact. The loud _thump _and the subsequent _crack _made her jerk her head up; the erratic motion of the Cie'th slowing down in the same instant, as though it had cottoned on too. The tips of the grey tentacles nearest to them paused, as though unsure of which direction to move in now, before she gave Hope a rough shove in Snow's direction. It didn't matter how loud they were now_—_Snow had just about given them away. "Go!" she screeched; stumbling after him, keeping a wary eye on the grey flesh that had resumed its aggravated movements.

Using his foot, Snow had punched a hole through the worn and already damaged ground of the corridor beneath them; the gaping fissure he'd created was now wide enough to fit a fairly average sized human_—_squeezing himself through, she watched the brawler let go of the edge of the rock, dropping easily onto the stone far beneath them. _Idiot__; _and I had a Grav-Con unit right here. But it wasn't him she was concerned about and if he wanted to risk his neck doing things the dangerous way when there was a safer one, then she wasn't going to stop him. "Jump." Nudging his back with her shoulder, she was surprised to find the that determination that she'd seen in his eyes just a few moments ago was evaporating.

The Cie'th's howl, coupled with the angry _thump_ of a tentacle spearing into the ground, breaking apart rock, was close.

Suddenly unsure of what had brought on his abrupt hesitation, Lightning raised a hand in his direction. "Hope, what_—_?" He caught her arm before she could raise it completely; in the fraction of a second that their eyes met again, the demure fear in them screamed more loudly to her perception than anything else. Grey flesh ripping another gouge into the ground, she stopped him just as he was about to open his mouth. "Save it. Just _go__—_I'll be right behind you." Giving him a none-too-gentle shove with her shoulder towards the opening in the corridor floor again, Snow's shouts to hurry up were just barely audible over the sound of the Cie'th's angry screeches.

Pulling her wrist out of his grasp, she nudged him towards the crack again; weapon out and in hand, Lightning didn't expect the shots she fired to so much damage as to delay_—_the tip of the tentacles aimed in their direction hesitated, recoiling back from the impact of the bullets, but as far as she could tell, she wasn't harming it.

The disappearance of the warmth at her back reassured her that Hope had, indeed, jumped_—_intending to follow suit, she caught the glimpse of the scaly flesh bury itself into the groove that it'd created before a blast of wind hit her body. Throwing out the Grav-Con unit ahead of her, the bubble of antimatter blossomed on the ledge beneath them, the small figure that was Snow growing larger by the heartbeat.

Hope hit the ground before she did_; _cushioned by the reflective quality of the small device, by the time she'd gotten there, he was already scrambling up, scanning the area around them with an expectant verdant gaze. In the motion her hand made to push her bangs out of her eyes, Lightning's fingers brushed against the now completely-dry blood splotches left on her cheeks and forehead. Disgust instantly rising at the back of her throat, she tried to resist the temptation to rub her face with her hands_—_for some reason, the thought of the soldier's blood on her hands made her stomach churn. _Okay, Farron__—__deep breath; there's no reason for you to freaking out like this and losing control now will only make things worse. _The self-disciplinary thoughts helped her readjust her grip on reality: by the time she'd straightened herself up, Hope and Snow were already a few paces ahead of her, though Hope had turned back to wait.

For some reason, the sight of blood on _his_ face and neck made her want to wipe it off_—_it didn't belong there and it didn't sit well with her. Safe for the moment being, Lightning had to resist the dire urge to_—_she had a feeling that it was something he wouldn't appreciate at the moment; having barely taken a step forward, Snow's strangled yell startled her. _What did I do this time? _

But it wasn't her_—_whipping around, she saw what she thought he was looking at. The mutant Cie'th that had been attacking them had anchored itself to the wall behind them; writhing tentacles still trying to search for them in the floor above, it would only be a matter of time before it realized that they weren't there anymore. This particular Cie'th had grey flesh with the consistency of a snake's; with deformed tentacles and no distinctive 'face' that she could see, it reminded her of a lopsided octopus... albeit one that was three times her size. "So let's get out of here," she hissed back, not seeing that the problem was, "before it figures out what happened."

Hope gave her a tug on her upper arms the moment Snow's hoarse croak reached her ears; turning her around, at first, Lightning couldn't see what they were both looking at past Snow's bulk. "No, Sis, it's not that... _That." _Pointing a thick, gloved finger past him, she caught the sight of the copper-brown flesh of more Cie'th coming towards them, obviously having been attracted by the noise they'd made, screeches echoing painfully off the walls of the much more open cavern.

Stepping forwards, Lightning pulled out her weapon as she drew level with Snow_—_the blond brawler's usual grin was absent from his face; replaced by a serious expression, he gave her a slight smirk as she raised her weapon to shoulder height. "Ready for some hero action, Sis?"

She breathed out a soft snort through her nose, earlier emotional grievances forgotten in the face of the mutant Cie'th drawing closer with every heartbeat. _You're _not_—getting anyone else like you just did! _The death she'd just seen fueling the determination not to let it happen again, it overrode her erratic heartbeat fueled by lungs burning for an adequate amount of air and the exhaustion that hadn't left her limbs since the previous night. Hope's presence was suddenly just behind her; subtly encouraged by his relatively-steady breathing just behind her shoulder, she wholeheartedly believed the words he breathed out. "We're going to make it."

Lightning spared a heartbeat to flick her gaze back at him, ice blue meeting viridian. "Right."

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**Oh goodness, this chapter was long... *sighs* It took me at least three or four sittings to get the later segments down, and even then... Well, it took me awhile. ^^;; But hopefully it sounded alright to you all and that it made _sense__—_I think I'd cry if it doesn't at this point. *hangs head*  
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**I gotta love my awesome _LadyAlaska's_ comment when she read the unfinished product of this chapter; when Light says [she and Hope] should stop before Snow wakes up: "Snow should walk around with a bucket over his head all the time so he can't disturb them". I think I just about cracked up_—_at that point I'd _just _finished that segment; we were discussing our plotlines for our stories and fangirling about Hoperai in general_—_because I honestly could not continue with this chapter; I proceeded to spend the rest of my night thinking about how Snow would look (and fight) with a bucket on his head. Umph...  
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**_Anyways. _Weird conversations with best friend besides, erm, I honestly don't know when the next chapter will be up. I will say, once again, that the latest will be next Saturday_—_though there is a chance I might actually finish before. If it's _not_ up by next Saturday though, you are welcome to go give me a kick on whatever site some of you have added me on... So leave some love please (donations go to said bucket), and I will see y'all soon! c:  
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**Hearts!  
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	36. Waiting for Time: Part 1

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!**

**For once in my life, I'm early—I've been working on this chapter since Sunday evening and I'm pretty proud; though I have to admit that it all came down to inspiration. *nods* I assume you can only imagine what kind of inspiration this amounted to, but we'll leave the chapter to do the talking, mmhm? That being said, you may or may not have noticed that there is a "Part 1" to the title—yeah, you read right, I had to split this chapter for length. I'm not quite done Part 2 as of yet, but at the rate I'm going, it won't take me long. ^^;;  
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**Much love goes to: LawMan (I so totally agree—I've decided a light blue bucket would suit his looks best, you know?), Mylaervain (you know, that's what my BF said: "any guy who can fight with a jacket can totally kick ass with a bucket"), That One Reviewee (n_n I was going for creepy with that scene; glad you thought it was!), GKMader (haha, YES. :D And buckets. I can't say that word without laughing now, did you know that?), and Jack Hargreave (the soldier was actually, well, you'll see. He was there for a reason, though I'm glad you picked up on that! :p). Thank you all again—seriously, it makes this fic worth writing (not that it wasn't to begin with) and they make my day.  
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**Anyways, since I've split this chapter into half, there will be no closing A/N at the end (just as there will not be an opening one for the next half). Leave some love if you so desire by the time you're done, and I promise I'll make it count for _something_ in the following chapter—hopefully it won't take me a week to write, haha. Just a warning though, this fic _is _rated M for a reason—if you thought the last chapter was gory, well... hold onto your stomachs is all I can say. Despite that, though, I was almost in tears by the end. I think you'll see why. :)  
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**Enjoy as always!**

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Chapter 36: Waiting for Time –Part 1–

Metal scraped against flesh and solid rock, sending sparks and tears of grey-brown flesh into the air as Lightning slashed the closest Cie'th with her weapon. Reserves of strength running on empty, it was like someone had taken metal elastics and bound them underneath her lungs; trying to pull erratic breaths _into_ them was hard enough without the burning scrape of the oxygen-deprived air against the back of her throat. Coughing, the effort it took to raise her weapon to shoulder height was terrifying in its draining power. _Just… how many more are there? _

Half-chased, half _chasing_ hordes of Cie'th, there seemed to be no end to the wailing monsters. The blind monsters weren't dangerous in themselves—it didn't take much effort to rip away the life that it had once housed, but it was their utter capacity to _destroy _that made them deadly. Blind and moving with sporadic, twitching movements, it didn't matter if the target they picked was Cie'th or human—the clawed arms tore away at it all, sending chilling wails echoing painfully in the empty cavern they'd fallen into.

The tentacled Cie'th had disappeared; whether it had sensed a new target, or whether it was honestly still looking for them—a possibility Lightning highly doubted—she didn't know. _But I'm not about… to complain. There's enough to deal with as it is… _Back-to-back with Hope, trying to keep him out of reach, she was fairly sure that being able to hear his hoarse gasps for breath meant that he could hear hers. Heartbeat hammering in her throat, the effort it took to keep her senses on alert for the possibility of an attack scared her. _Get a grip—you're not going to give up now, right? _

Fighting the urge to make things easier for her body by collapsing to her knees, she edged forward again; pulse elevating in the anticipation of what rounding the next corner could mean, even the brush of Hope's shoulder against hers couldn't assuage that apprehension. They'd already lost sight of Snow—the big man had eagerly leapt straight into the action despite her order to stay together, and in the ensuing chaos that had instantly engulfed them, by the time she'd cleared enough of a space around them to allow for the fraction of a breather, Snow had already disappeared. _Idiot._

There was only one way forward though—littered with the ash grey remains of Cie'th and the subsequent blood smears that streaked the worn stone, he couldn't have gotten _lost; _even Snow was smarter than _that_. "You okay?" The hitch in breathing behind the concerned tones was clearly audible as Lightning turned her head.

Dark scarlet streaks still visible on his skin, the platinum bangs were matted together with sweat and crimson liquid alike—the only comfort she could find in that was that she knew the latter wasn't his. _But still… _Boomerang clutched tight in one hand, the exertion of their endeavor into the ruins wasn't lost on him. "I'll live." Raking dirty, sweat drenched hair out of her face, the tips of her fingers came away bloody. Shaking her head, trying to dislodge the images from her mind, the fingers of her right hand tightened around her weapon. "But we'll take five."

But those three hundred seconds seemed hardly enough—even though no one spoke, she felt no better than before when Lightning forced her body into motion again, pressing her right shoulder against the next bend in the hallway, weapon cocked at her shoulder.

When there was no sound that indicated that an enemy was near, Hope followed her automatically; completely trusting her instincts like the way he'd done so many years previously. But they'd barely stepped around them bend when an ear splitting shriek sounded painfully close. "Light!" Recoiling backwards instantly, clawed hands swiped over her head; leaping forward with an almost accidental grace, the Cie'th brought its limbs down in a crushing motion. Swiping upwards with the weapon the moment her mind had processed what it was going for, the first slash of the omega weapon didn't quite kill it.

It let out another wail that instantly made every single muscle she owned tense; severed arm still clinging to its shoulder by the last few sinews of flesh, the Cie'th suddenly shuffled away from her, lurching unsteadily towards the only other target in the vicinity. _No! _Chasing after it with a renewed burst of energy, she caught it in the neck, splitting it open down its back. The downward motion of her gunblade bringing her to the ground along with it, the tip of it stabbed into the stone the same moment her left knee touched the ground. _Damn it! _

Head bowed, pink bangs falling into her eyes, the floor wasn't a better place than standing up had been—if anything, it _emphasized_ the effort she needed to breathe properly; _emphasized_ the way her limbs no longer wanted to willingly respond to the commands her brain was giving them. "Light!" Hands caught her before her entire body could pitch towards the ground, trying to hold her upright. "You said… you were okay," came the slightly reproachful chide that didn't hide the concern in Hope's voice at all.

Brushing his hand off of her upper arm, but allowing him to cling to her fingers, she met his anxious green gaze equally. "I… am," she tried to retort, the broken breath in between the syllables giving away her exhaustion.

"No… you're not," he countered, the darkened platinum locks still smeared with faint streaks of dark crimson only adding to the fact that she knew he had to be as exhausted as she was. There was only a little reassurance in that fact - knowing it wasn't his didn't mean that it was hard to imagine, but that didn't make the fatigue he was trying just as hard to hide from her any less evident.

Shaking her head, trying to dislodge the images from her mind, Lightning made a motion to push herself back onto her feet, vision swaying dangerously as the blood rushed from her head. "I don't have time… to argue with you about this," she panted between the effort her lungs were making to draw adequate air into them. "We _have…_ to keep moving." Hope had been about to open his mouth to argue—she could tell by the indignant flare that lighted in his verdant gaze, only to be smouldered by the glare she was attempting. "Besides," she continued, glad for the fact that the spots were beginning to fade from her vision, "you're just as tired as I am. So…"

Closing his lips firmly, he seemed to get the message—that she wasn't going to allow any dissents for the moment being, even though the concern didn't leave his gaze. Stumbling slightly on her first step forwards, Lightning cursed herself before forcing herself to remain steady; remembering the imminent danger that they were both still in helped.

Muffled footsteps muted by the echoing wails of distant Cie'th, a faint tunnel breeze tugged at her hair, pushing the unruly cherry-coloured curls against her collarbone and throat and giving the worn crimson cape over her shoulder life. The passageway before them was surprisingly short; it wasn't long before Lightning found herself looking over the edge of the stone that formed the boundary of it, looking down onto an open expanse of space.

Scanning her eyes over the structures spread loosely beneath them, it wasn't hard to spot the distinctive trench coat in the middle of a horde of Cie'th—though Snow didn't appear to need any help, she could make out more in the distance. Her stomach churned at the thought of more fighting—fights that she wasn't sure she still had the strength to win—but there was something else glimmering in the distance that she'd also noticed. "Hey." Stopping Hope with an arm, he followed her gaze curiously until it came to rest on what she was looking at: something small and glimmering that managed to catch the reflective surface of even the dim light that managed to penetrate the gaps in the roof.

He jerked his head up almost instantly, the realization dimming the exhaustion in his viridian gaze. "You think that's—?"

"Yeah," she breathed out, tightening her fingers on the handle of her weapon. "What else could it be?" Giving the terrain underneath them another cursory glance, Lightning tried to work out the best way to reach the small circle in the distance that was relatively free of Cie'th. She didn't see a way around the fight itself—_But maybe… _"Hope." Keeping her gaze on the battlefield before them, she was afraid to turn to face him, already knowing that he wouldn't like the idea that was forming in her mind. Pointing her finger downwards, tracing the subtle path formed by the trail of uneven rock that veered away from flattened stone, she tried to stop the subtle tremble of the hand clenched around her gunblade. "Do you think you can make it over that?"

He exhaled sharply; out of the corner of her eye, Lightning saw the questioning look in his green eyes. "What—_No._" The low growl that accompanied the lone syllable was so unlike him—so utterly unlike the nature she always associated with _Hope_—that it stopped her for a moment. A hand suddenly closed on her left arm, just above the black sleeve that ended below the pauldron; the firmness of the grip instantly making her want to jerk her arm away. "You're not."

This time, there was no pleading quality to it; the certainty in his voice held none of the fear it had had four years previously—Hope had none of the lingering hesitation he'd had to choose between what was 'right' and what she'd ordered him to do. A stab of guilt spearing through her chest when Lightning moved her fingers to cover his, curling her nails underneath his to pry his grip off of her arm, she tried to push it back. _I have to do this, even if—_ "You promised me," she began in a low voice, "that you'd do what it took. To get _that_," underlining the pronoun by pointing her finger in its direction. "You told me that you knew the difference between what was important… and what you thought was right. And right now, I think we both know what's important here."

"But—"

"_Stop arguing with me_!" The sudden harshness of her tone making him flinch back for the fraction of a heartbeat before a spark of repressed temper flared in his viridian gaze; pushing back against the grip of her fingers, the force he was using was anything but gentle. Before he could open his mouth, she pressed their conjoined fingers into the ground, trapping his hand underneath hers, the suddenness of her motion momentarily surprising him. "You promised," she repeated quietly, trying to control her voice—but whether she was trying to control her anger or the anguish inside that she had to argue with him like this, Lightning didn't know. "Or have you forgotten that?"

"I haven't," he countered quietly, the blaze in his emerald gaze no less intense than it had been before. "But you said you wouldn't—"

She cut him off before he could continue. "I know what I said," she clarified. "I'm not going to go back on my word. But we have to do this. You _know_ that." The sentences she spoke seemed to assuage some of the indignation and frustration in his eyes; expression softening just slightly as she finished, Hope remained still for a few moments, the hand pinned underneath hers trembling ever so slightly. _Maybe I shouldn't have been… _

"Promise?" The quavering quality to the one word sentence surprising her in its sudden vulnerability and doubt, it pulled at her own grievances Lightning was struggling to hide underneath the calm and in-control exterior she was trying to maintain. _I can't. He knows it's a promise I can't guarantee. _Because there _was_ no guarantee—just as she couldn't be sure that the path she'd picked was the right way to keep going, she couldn't guarantee that what they were doing now had no risks posed to either of them. But what Lightning _was_ sure about was that there _was_ no other way to the future she could admit she wanted now—that there _was_ no other way out of this without putting their lives on the line _somewhere_ down the road.

But Hope had long since grown out of the naivety of doing as she told him without question—he'd seen her at her very worst and it had instilled in him the desire to _protect_, to _shield _what he thought was right. _And I can't—that's something I can't change now. _Fear of getting hurt—of pain in general— and of dying no longer scared him from wandering down into the face of danger—he'd seen both and somewhere down that line, 'death' had become something more than taking away what he cared about; she'd unwittingly taught him that there were things worth dying _for. _

"I can't." The truth slipped out from her mouth before Lightning could stop it; she'd anticipated the flash of fear that she _couldn't_ guarantee it, and that made his hand jerk from underneath hers with a strength she didn't know he held. Fingers moving to her face, the painful vulnerability and the desire for reassurance was blatantly obvious in his expression, the earlier anger falling away to reveal the uncertainty that had fueled it. And for a moment, she wanted to give in to it—steeling the will that she'd known she would have to exercise sooner or later, Lightning pulled his fingers free of her cheekbone, gripping them tightly. "But I promised something else. There's a difference."

_Please. _

Feeling both their erratic, uncontrolled heartbeats under their clenched fingers, it was a few long moments before Hope nodded. "We'll survive."

Straightening up, pulling him up along with her, she reached behind her legs for the gunblade stowed there. "Then let's go."

* * *

Dropping to the ground on his knees, Hope tried to keep the rising panic and fear of what was to come suppressed in his chest—arguing wouldn't get him anywhere further with Lightning and he knew that. _But that doesn't mean… _Fear and the desire to drag her back by the cape combined, inside, deep down, he knew she was right: that there _was_ no future for them if they didn't do this. _But she doesn't have to do this… put herself on the line because there's no other way. _Inwardly, he knew that it was the only option; that somehow, by attracting the mutant Cie'th attention along with Snow, it would allow him to reach the small, glimmering thing in the distance.

But what Hope _also_ couldn't get out of his head was the image of the soldier's death; the sensation of warm, sticky blood peppering his skin and hair was hard to forget and it wasn't hard to twine those memories with the fears he held inside. _I have to do this. _Trying to tell himself that; trying to ingrain that particular concept into his head was hard when Lightning drew ahead of him, short, even breaths betraying the exhaustion that had been present earlier.

Weapon already held in attack position, she flicked her gaze back at him, the calm teal gaze somehow unnerving him even further—she was totally prepared for what was happening; totally prepared for what she knew she had to do. _I wish—_ Hope cut himself off before he could complete that thought. _How does she do it? Focus on only the goal she has in mind—and shut out everything else? _It was a trait he both admired and hated; it made her determination to do things _right _the quality that stood out above everything else… and it made her frustratingly stubborn to a fault. _When things come down to times like this; _where she threw herself into danger without thinking of the consequences—almost Snow-like, in a sense.

Wails and screeches, combined with the distant shouts of Snow crashed in his eardrums; raising the barrel of her omega weapon, Lightning met his eyes. For the span of a heartbeat, they held each other's gazes; frozen into being and the expression in her eyes only made him want to run towards her and shake her. But he didn't have time to contemplate this newest idea before she mouthed _"Go," _at him, dashing around the rock she had concealed herself behind in the next moment.

Floundering for a moment, the sharp sound of gunshots hitting both stone and flesh jerked him back into painful reality; clambering over stones and crumbled walls alike took more effort from his limbs than he thought possible, the tight skin on his side stretching almost painfully as it tried to accommodate the pace he was forcing his body to take. Ducking under a fallen archway, trying to keep his balance as the lumps of stone and earth tried their best to trip him, Hope stumbled back against a fallen stone when grey-brown skin launched itself at him, claws outstretched in a position to attack.

Back hitting the wall behind him painfully, the weapon in his right hand collided with mottled flesh, driving the Cie'th away from him with the momentum the throw provided. It wasn't by any stretch of the imagination enough, but in the long moments it took the monster to recover, he'd already scrambled away, trusting that its uncontrolled, jerky movements wouldn't provide it with the agility necessary to chase after him.

Fingers scrabbling at smooth rock worn with cracks, he tried to gauge how much further there was to go—the general chaos around him gave him no indication of distance and the sounds of fighting didn't stop. Continuous gunshots were like the strands of comfort he clung to; the last few beads in a broken pearl necklace that he could hold in the palm of his hand—they reassured him that she was still alive.

Pushing his body over the next boulder, slipping down onto the other side, Hope felt his limbs seize in both exhaustion and apprehension when he saw the distance he still had yet to cover. _Maker, we're not going to make it! _The area in question was still at least five hundred meters from where he was standing; raised on a small incline guarded by a horde of Cie'th, his heart seized at the prospect of Lightning fighting her way to reach it. Snow's shouts broke over the sound of unearthly screeches, the triumphant sound an anesthetic to the rising sense of futility in his chest.

The blond brawler was huddled in the centre of a ring of Cie'th, fists raised in his standard posture of attack. Tattered trench coat torn and speckled with dirt and blood, it was like he was the killer himself—none of the Cie'th wanted to get close to him, the ash-grey residue of dead monsters around him tantamount to the fact that Snow wasn't taking the fight lightly. The big man didn't seem to have noticed him, and for a moment, Hope direly wished he wouldn't—there was no need to attract undue attention and while Snow held _theirs_, he could slip by unnoticed.

Broken archways and structures less concentrated nearer to the raised incline, the going was a little easier; there wasn't anything he had to actually climb over and things proved to be a little easier on his side… though the skin there felt tight and inflamed, a deeper pain that wasn't associated with the wound itself. Rasp making its way up his chest, it was getting harder to breathe, the inner pain tearing his diaphragm with every breath he tried to pull into his lungs. _I can't… give up now. _Knowing that she'd put her faith in him, the thought of failure was something that was almost as terrifying as his fears itself.

"_I want to know that I can rely on you." _A faith that he'd always unconsciously craved, the trust that she didn't hand out to just anyone, felt like the weight of the world. _I can't… let her down. _That thought was enough to drive him forwards; ignoring the flash of pain with every harried breath drawn in, stumbling up the low slope was took effort he didn't think he could maintain. Breathing was hard enough as it was—the extra exertion put on exhausted limbs by the elevation didn't make things easier and introduced a burn to the back of his calves.

Gripping the stone at the very top of the, Hope somehow ended up on his knees, one arm wrapped around his middle in an attempt to make breathing easier, the other precariously holding onto the weapon whose handle was slick with sweat—whether it had been out of nerves or simply because of physical exertion, he didn't know.

A screech sounded painfully close to his head; looking up through platinum bangs scratching his face, green eyes widened at the sight of two Cie'th, their silhouettes dangerously close to him. Pushing himself upright proved to be more of a struggle than he thought; spots swam in his vision as he did so and his limbs felt like rubber; drained of any strength he might've still had and altogether unwilling to respond to the signals his brain wanted to give them. _Move… move! _

Setting his gaze only on the small, glimmering thing now barely ten feet away from him, Hope stumbled forwards, trying to assimilate Lightning's focus into his consciousness. _Only focus on what you have to do; shut everything unimportant out, nothing else matters at this point—_

Pain tore through his lower leg like a flash, warmth running down the torn cloth and skin in thin rivulets. Hooked claws scraped the stone floor behind him, drawing an eerie noise akin to fingernails on chalkboards. Harried thumping combined with the sound of impact, he couldn't even be sure of who—or what—that was. "Hope, behind you!" The screech was undoubtedly Lightning's, its pitch urgent and commanding, but he couldn't turn around now—the thing was within his reach and if he could only take a couple more steps forward, he could grasp in in his fingers.

"Sis, I got this!" Unable to turn around for the fear that if he did, he would somehow lose his sense of direction in the disorder around him, Hope could only rely on his sense of hearing to tell him what happened next. Gunshots mingled with the sound of a fist on sickly flesh, creating a discordant sound that consisted of both screeches and yells; sounds he wasn't sure he wanted to pick out individually. But whether Snow had really successfully gone after the Cie'th after him or not, Hope would never know—his fingers curled around the bluish object; slick with sweat and sticky blood he wasn't sure where it was from, the sudden coldness of the glass object underneath his palm felt off. Surprisingly cold, it was like it was freezing every muscle he owned, tendrils of icy fog seeping through his veins like some sort of tenuous poison.

Body instantly rejecting the touch of the glass, there was the overwhelming urge to throw it away from him as fast as possible; spots swirling in his vision along with a rising sense of nausea, Hope had a feeling he wouldn't be able to physically hold onto it for much longer. "_Hope_!" The desperate cry came again, but his posture was already faltering and no matter how fast she could run—if she still could at this point—she wouldn't be able to reach him in time. The sound of metal grating against flesh somehow stood out amongst the unholy cacophony of sound… one that was joined by the sound of collapse.

Fighting the discomfort threading unbridled through his body, starting from where his fingers were still somehow clenched tightly around the glass sphere, the command reached his foggy brain, sharp and distinct. "_Hope! _Let _go _of it!" The pain in the yell blatantly obvious, he tried to do what she was telling him to do—forcing his fingers to let go of the small thing, the icy rigidity of his limbs seemed to evaporate the moment it left his palm.

Trying to stand, the flare of radiant, infectious pain spreading upwards from his calf as he did so, he could only kneel there helplessly; finally, it seemed that he was able to look back in the direction of the battle; the sight rooting him to the spot.

Ringed by Cie'th that seemed to have no limit to their numbers, no matter how many they killed, there seemed to be more. Ash grey remains were littered down the stone pathway, more than he could count at the moment. _Maker, she—_ Pink hair streaked with blood and sweat, the tension and exertion in every muscle was obvious; fighting to keep upright and her weapon in hand, it wasn't a battle they could win.

Shifting stone coupled with the hideous scream of some distant Cie'th making him look up, scaly tentacles suddenly pierced the air above them, threading through the dusty air like monstrous thread meant to stitch the stone walls together. Collapse imminent, particulates and bigger pieces of rock began to fall from the ceiling. "It's gonna cave!" Snow's yell was accented by the sound of fists on flesh, as the blond took a step backwards, foot unconsciously crushing the small blue orb underneath it. Surprised at the object under his foot, Snow looked down the moment the grating, guttural shriek of the many-tentacled Cie'th knifed the air, the sound putting the battle to an inevitable standstill, paralyzing the Cie'th and their muscles alike.

Falling backwards, Snow's fingers closed around the blue sphere just as Lightning turned to check on him, sudden panic flickering across her features. "Snow, leave—" But it was too late; the burly blond already held the flickering orb aloft in thick fingers before an explosion rocked the earth underneath them. Chains that held the ledges in the air shaking madly, links snapping under both weight and pressure, the sound of metal clinking against stone created an erratic, irregular rhythm that underlined the sound of combat.

The roar of a dragon—much, much louder than the Cie'th it dwarfed—pierced the air like a blade; twisted tendrils, scales ripped free from their purchase on the thick skin, rained down on them in clumps, quickly shriveling into ash-grey tears, falling harmlessly to the collapsing stone ledge in soft _thump_s. Shielding his head and eyes with one hand, Hope tried to cling to the boulder behind him with the other; the sensation of illness was fading from his limbs—he could breathe as normally as the dust-choked, metallic scented air around him allowed him to and the swirling vision was rapidly fading. _Light! _Panic gripped his recently liberated chest like elastic bands; finding the flash of pastel pink some few feet away from him, the shaking ledge underneath didn't allow him to stand up to find her.

Crawling forwards on hands and knees, the throbbing pain in his right calf preventing any thoughts of fast movement, he kept his eyes on her hair as he tried to dodge the flailing limbs of faltering Cie'th alike. Wind and ice suddenly tore through the air; claws and wings descended upon the remaining Cie'th that hadn't been knocked away by the first shockwave. Limbs suddenly frozen in place, Hope could only stare at the sight of the dragon before him; maroon-and-purple wings outstretched, head crested with a magnificent scarlet mane as it let out another shriek, hind talons creating sparks against falling rock as it dived for the remaining Cie'th, emitting another shockwave from its mouth.

His hand brushed against cloth and skin; slipping sideways on smooth stone tipping dangerously downward, Hope looked back to find himself face to face with her; cherry coloured bangs streaked with sweat and scarlet stains, the sight of jagged tears on her arms that had no doubt been created by Cie'th claws gave his heart a painful squeeze. She opened her mouth to say something—her lips had just formed the first syllable of his name when the dragon's steely wings snapped the remaining chains that held the ledge aloft, sending them both plunging into the darkness beneath.

* * *

Body momentarily weightless in free fall, there was no way to tell where the bottom was. Thrown against the wind, it took the breath from her lungs in one fell swoop, claiming all other abilities it held but the one that allowed her to gasp for breath. Impact driving rivets of pain through limbs and muscles; the only thing she could be thankful for was that her gunblade had gotten caught in the crook of her elbow—any other position and it would've broken her arm.

Fighting the increasing heaviness rested on her chest and the debilitating exhaustion in her arms, it was hard not to just give up. Head resting on the joint between her arm and shoulder, Lightning wanted to lie there—the distant screeches of battle seemed far away just now. Only the sensation of wetness underneath her fingertips provided the painful reality check; pushing herself into a sitting position, it didn't take the training of a soldier to realize _what_, exactly, the wetness smeared along her hands and arms were.

Nausea rising in the back of her throat, the dim lighting made it impossible to see; trying to stand proved to be a feat that she couldn't complete. Reduced to crawling on her hands and knees, she tried to ignore the pressure put on the still-bleeding gashes that decorated her arms; blood that was definitely her own seeped into the sleeve pulled up her left arm, running freely only to be stopped by the armband she wore on her right. _Hope… Hope, where are you? _

Guilt and frustration combined, it was hard to not just scream out his name. _Why was I so stupid? Why didn't I—_ She should've _known_ it was dangerous; should've _known _that it wasn't something he could've done on his own without getting hurt. _I'm sorry… I'm sorry. _Her hands bumped against something cold and stiff; backing away quickly, fighting the urge to retch, she realized what it was in a heartbeat. _I… _Eyes still struggling to adjust to the new darkness, it didn't take her long to realize what she was looking at.

_They're all dead. _The half-mask of the soldiers in front of her lay askew, its owner no longer breathing; the only light was provided by the dim light of their pauldrons. Torn limbs lay scattered in unmoving piles, Lightning tilted her head back, closing her eyes to avoid looking at the carnage in front of her. _Maker, please… So this is where he… _The fear in the mud-brown gaze of the soldier wasn't easily forgotten, and it was that - the pained terror in those eyes, the one look she hoped would never be replicated in _his _- precisely, that pushed her to keep going. _I have to… I have to find him. _He couldn't have fallen far from her, but the broken bricks that had formed the ledge they'd been standing on impeded her progress; groping blindly in the almost complete darkness, her fingers brushed against something smooth.

Heartbeat wild in her throat, it was a few seconds before Lightning forced herself to calm down enough to realize that the smooth texture underneath her fingers was his boomerang. Almost afraid of what she would—or would not—find, her fingers travelled to the inner curve of his wrist tentatively, the faint, regular pulse underneath the skin eliciting a soft cry of anguished relief from her lips. Reaching across to his shoulders, she shook him gently. _Wake up… wake up! _A whimper came from the back of his throat, fingers seizing hers in a gentle grip that made her feel guilty that she'd ever pried them away from her. "Hope, I—" Her words were cut off by a guttural screech, the sound of it making both of them flinch. In the dimness around them, she couldn't be sure where it had come from, much less who'd created it. _Where… _The same shriek came again, louder this time; recognition threaded through her muddled senses and the exhaustion coating her limbs. _It's that Cie'th, but I—_ It was a painful reality that slammed her in the chest like a physical blow: she didn't have the strength to beat it.

Trying to keep her breathing calm for his sake rather than her own, he sensed her elevated heartbeat anyways. "Light…" Retracting her arms, reaching for her weapon seemed a motion done more out of habit than out of necessity; it wasn't a battle either of them could win and she knew he knew that. "Don't go," he begged her, pushing his body into a half-raised position in which he could look at her from.

Giving her head a shake, Lightning sat back on her knees, finding that her fingers were trembling. _I promised I'd look after you—and me. And I can't even… _The sense of defeat imminent, she couldn't help the next few thoughts. _Serah, I let someone else down again… because I wasn't strong enough; I didn't realize—_

Writhing tentacles suddenly obstructed the last few vestiges of glowing light from the soldiers' pauldrons as the grey-skinned Cie'th dropped to the ground barely ten feet away from her. It was hurt; severely—its fight with the dragon abovehead had robbed it of most of its tentacles and had ripped scales from its body, exposing the wine-coloured flesh underneath. Nonetheless, it let out a piteous shriek as scaly appendages whipped towards them, lashing in the still air.

Closing her eyes, Lightning waited for the moment of impact; one that would no doubt be powerful enough to sever the remaining threads of faltering life from them both. _I'm sorry—_

Heat suddenly expanded from her leg; a pounding, throbbing heat that reached through every pore of her limbs from where it had begun; seeping through the cloth of the red pack. Time seemed to slow down, her fingers had barely brushed the surface of the red orb she carried before it disappeared. Flame and light erupted in the space around them, enclosing them both in a flash that could've rivalled the sun as another shriek filled the air—but this time, it was a cry she recognized.

Blazing feathers melted through the scaly tendrils stretched towards them; recoiling from the heat as though it was poison, it occurred to her that it might very well be. The fiery phoenix extended its claws in a downward plunge, talons ripping for the very heart of the mutant Cie'th only to be battered back by lashing tentacles many times their width. Unable to help, unable to _move_, she could only watch desperately as the bird fought against their strangling grips, trying to free itself from the many armed tentacles wrapped around its wings and feathers. _We're not… going to make it! _

It was like sudden clarity that sliced through her thoughts—words spoken by someone else. _You have to. _But no one else had spoken; apart from her broken, ragged panting, there was only Hope, whose laboured gasps for air spoke only to the fact that he was worse off than her. _For you… and for him. _

_Right… because I promised. _

_I promised. _

Raising her head off her chest, the scrape of the metal gunblade against the slick floor sounded too loud against her ears. The phoenix seemed to have sensed her renewed determination to fight; its screeches becoming louder and more insistent as it fought to free itself. The fire and heat in the air around them seemed charged; she had no strength for fueling her own magic—a control over the situation she would've liked.

Growing flames licked at scalded flesh; with an angry screech, the phoenix tore itself free. Each flap of its wings sent a wall of dry heat hitting the ground; the severed tentacles quickly drying out to ash-grey remains that fell to dust. Closing her eyes, Lightning gripped the handle of her omega weapon, feeling the draining strength in her limbs give way to some form of imcomplete numbness.

The flaming bird slammed its body into that of the Cie'th, the flames consuming them both in one final burst of light and heat. Darkness and silence consuming the air around them, it was the sound of dripping water—or was it blood?—that she registered last. Unable to sustain the kneeling position she was currently in, she could sense the floor coming up to meet her as she slipped sideways.

Only it didn't; head coming to rest against the hollow of his throat, the slow rise and fall of his chest reassured her that he was okay. Lightning refused to let herself consider the alternative. Right hand limp against the ground, something was reforming underneath it; cold and smooth, she knew what it was. _Thank you. _

Eyelids slipping shut, the slow, regular rhythm of his heartbeat brought her back to another time in which she'd heard it just as clearly; darkness highlighted with silver moonlight made its way into her muddled memories. _"I love you." _The three words she had wholeheartedly unexpected, she'd been unprepared for the moment and equally unsure of how to react. But what she couldn't deny was that they were the truth—an inexplicable truth that she hadn't had the courage to return.

Heaviness weighing down on her limbs like unforgiving gravity, the fingers of her left hand came to rest on his chest; feeling the faint flutterings of his heart underneath, it was a tenuous comfort she could hold; warming and altogether irrepressible. _I... love you too._

_Always. _


	37. Waiting for Time: Part 2

Chapter 37: Waiting for Time –Part 2–

"_Always." _

A word he wasn't quite sure where it had come from, but one that was left reverberating in his mind; something he could cling to in the muddled fog that clung to his thoughts. Limbs heavy, weighed down by unforgiving gravity that didn't seem to want to relinquish its hold on him, it was awhile before he could come to terms other than the simple sensation of lying there. _Is this… _The seeping cold was gone, replaced by an arid sense of heat that seemed to snake its tendrils up exposed skin. It was a moment before he realized what he thought was _wrong. _

The silence was unnerving. Whether it was because he couldn't hear anything anymore, or whether because there was nothing _to _hear, Hope didn't know—but the silence was like a thick blanket that cloaked everything else, subduing and muting the sounds his mind had expected to hear. Slowly becoming aware of weight—real, tangible weight—pressed down against his chest, making breathing harder than it should've been, he shifted sideways from out underneath it, the soft _thump _of impact—skin against stone—along with a faint gasp hitched in one breath, made him freeze.

Instantly alert, trying to push the clinging vestiges of confusion and the hazy vertigo that accompanied his tenuous consciousness, his arm came to rest against cold skin; clammy and trembling, there was liquid warmth under the contact. Propping himself up on one elbow, limbs instantly wanting to give under their new pressure, it was a few moments before the swirling dots faded from his vision. Pastel pink hair caught his gaze as icy fingers painfully clenched his chest. Lying on her side, eyes closed, mouth shut, she could've been a marionette that resembled death. _Lightning—_

Ignoring the debilitating weakness that clutched at his limbs, he pulled her upwards, somehow finding the strength in numb arms to do so even as his muscles screamed in protest. Head against his shoulder, her breathing was faint—even, but faint; drawing breath only every few seconds, the otherwise stillness of her limbs sent chilling fingers of fear raking down his back. Giving her a gentle shake, he wanted the motion to make her open her eyes. "Wake up… Light, wake up," he begged her, the warm weight against his collarbone lifeless and limp.

Struggling to keep her upright, the faint rise and fall of her chest sent an overwhelming sense of fear straight into his lungs, gripping them tightly in cold, deadly tendrils. _Not again—please, Maker, tell me she's going to be okay. _Pain stabbed his lower leg when he tried to get up and pull her with him; body instantly protesting the movement, it wasn't able to hold their combined weights. Trying to keep the whimper from his lips, frustration and hopelessness washed over him like a wave. The motion had made something clatter to the ground with a dull _thunk_; slipping from limp fingers, the dim scarlet orb rolled a few inches away before coming to a stop, its murky light illuminating the dull gleam of the omega weapon lying a few feet away.

Eyes still struggling to adjust to the darkness, Hope slowly scanned the area around them, feeling a small jump in his heartbeat when he realized what was missing.

It was silent around them—apart from the occasional distant screech of a Cie'th far, far above them, too far to be in their range, there was nothing but quiet. Slowly beginning to make out the surroundings around them, Hope swallowed when he made out the ash-grey lumps of the tentacled-Cie'th lying strewn across the bloodstained ground, the bodies of soldiers just visible in their dim surroundings. _Maker… she—she killed it. _The thought overwhelming in its implication and the mental images it provided, it wanted to wrestle a cry from the back of his throat. _She knew—it wasn't a fight she could win and… _

_And what was I doing to help? _Unable to remain in the semi-upright position, Hope hadn't been able to keep his eyes open; fighting both exhaustion and pain, what'd happened after he'd begged her not to go, to fight something that they both knew she had no chance of winning against was a blurry haze, finally giving way to impermeable darkness. "I'm sorry," he whispered, the direness of the situation finally fully sinking into his consciousness as he struggled to keep her upright. _I couldn't help you—but even when you knew there was no chance of winning, you were going to fight anyways. Even though you knew fighting it would kill you, you—_

Her weight becoming heavier by the moment, numbed exhaustion was beginning to take over; trying to hold her upright was something he could no longer do. Shoulder meeting the cold, hard ground, her nose was inches from his; as close as their proximity was, her inaudible breathing only went to show him how exhausted she had to have been. It made him feel more helpless than ever— trying to keep her safe seemed something that had happened so long ago it could've been a memory created in lifetimes past by someone else, trying to persuade her not to put her life on the line seemed like a sentiment so transient it might've not happened. _I can't even…_

_You were there when I needed it—did everything you could to keep me safe. But when things came down to it… what could I do on my part?_ It was an implication that was terrifying in that context—that he hadn't been much more than a burden to her the entire time; that _every single time_, he'd had to rely on her just to survive. _The only time I tried to do something by myself… _She'd never scolded him about it—perhaps Lightning thought that she'd already tried to ingrain that particular sentiment into him enough times—but it was a fear he'd tried to keep tucked away. _She kept telling me that she wanted to know she could rely on me, but now, when she _does_ need me… what can I do? _Floundering helplessness combined with a naïve, childish selfishness that had stemmed from the overprotectiveness the people who cared about him had always given to him unconditionally, he felt strangely abandoned; not knowing what to do coupled with the knowledge that he had to do _something_. _I can't do this… _Unable to even keep her upright, the thought of carrying her was beyond his capabilities. Fear and anguish clouding his thoughts, even if he _did _have magic at this point, he wouldn't have had the concentration required to use it.

A small voice wormed itself into the back of his mind. _But did _she _give up so easily when things looked impossible? No—you don't even know what she went through to fight that thing; what she had to do to win. Even when you told her not to go, she went anyways—because it was something she knew she _had_ to do. _

_But I can't—as much as I want to, as much as I admire that… I'm not her. _It was a painful realization; just as painful as the direness of the reality around them—that he wouldn't ever have the strength that she had; wouldn't ever have the strength to push his body to keep going when he knew that there wasn't any left. He _wanted_ to; Hope _wanted_ to be able to, but the numbed, almost _painful_ fatigue stretching up limbs and the fiery fangs that gripped at his lower calf the moment he tried to put weight on it stopped him. "I can't do this…" The words slipping out, he couldn't think of a reason why they weren't true.

The slight hitch in her breathing made him gasp—her weak cough was accompanied by a slight twitch of her limbs. "Light," he choked out, terror and anguish getting the better of him despite what he'd tried to tell himself, Hope couldn't control the thoughts anymore. _Please don't—I need you; more than you know. _But he couldn't say those words aloud; naïve fears that she couldn't hear him and the burning pain at the back of his throat combined, it was something that was beyond his current capabilities. _You have to be okay… _"We still need you."

The words triggering a memory buried long ago under both anguish and happiness alike, it was a moment before he placed it, the suddenness of how clearly it came back making him flinch. Images teeming, it fought past the thistles at the back of his throat. "_I _need you," he corrected, the end of the last word catching in a painful syllable.

Warmth suddenly pervaded his limbs like a tidal wave; overwhelmingly complete in its dominance and its swiftness in doing so, surprise kept his head in a jerked up position. Rooted to the spot, unable to move, the sensation was one akin to the summoning of his Eidolon—only, Hope knew that it wasn't. It wasn't the sense of security that Alexander always provided, it was different—softer, warmer, with a sense that it reached every aspect of his body, this presence was gentle.

Gathering light slowly taking the shape of a four-legged creature in front of him, it was like the being had been created out of photons of morning sun; four spindly legs touching the ground, the curved horn adorned with beaded white tufts of silvery mane dipped towards him. Steel-grey eyes slowly fixing on him, the unicorn-like creature stepped forwards, long tail slowly swishing from side to side as it did so. Suddenly rearing its head back, a flash of lightning lit up the darkness around them, the bolts unforgiving and unrelenting; charging the very particles of air around them, Hope wanted to get up and run before either of them were hit, only succeeding in pushing them both up into a semi-upright position as the creature drew rapidly closer. Charging, the tip of the electrified horn touched his shoulder before he could even think of a way to move them both; expecting pain to ravage his body, he unconsciously tightened his grip on Lightning before Hope realized that it didn't—at least, not in the sense that he'd expected it to. _What…_

Limbs unresponsive, surging power pounded through his veins from the spot where he'd been touched; he'd expected the electricity to turn him into something like the dead Cie'th that lay scattered in pieces upon the bloodstained floor… but it wasn't a destruction. It was a creation—the release of something that had long since been buried inside, the sensation travelling down his arms was something he welcomed; a possibility that he completely embraced.

Strength channeled by the electricity from the horse-like creature erased the pain in his limbs; he couldn't see it, but Hope could _feel _the jagged wound from the Cie'th on his calf being erased by the spreading warmth. It didn't quite erase the sense of exhaustion that still weighed heavily down on his limbs, but it was more than enough. _But what about—_ Panic consumed his senses for a moment; the earlier fears hadn't quite abated in the arrival of the creature in front of him. _Light! _Pink bangs nestled against his shoulder, Hope tried to calm down; knowing instinctively that fear wouldn't help him—he needed to be _in _control of his emotions if he wanted to get it right and he could not—_could not_—let unbridled desperation take over.

Trying to keep his breathing even, his hand came to rest on her forehead, pushing the cherry coloured locks out of her eyes, Hope closed his own, willing the heartbeat pounding painfully at the back of his throat to steady. _I have to do this right. _The spell left his fingertips before he was even aware he'd cast it—the mint green glowing brightly in the relative darkness of the cavern surrounding them, it left her skin smooth and unmarked; blood was streaked down wounds that were no longer there—the faint gasp that left her lips reassured him that she was going to be okay. _Light… _

Raising his head, resting his eyes on the gleaming creature that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere in time to see it turn; a few galloping steps before it vanished into a fluttering of photons. _Thank you. _He didn't know where it had come from—didn't know what had compelled it to appear, but Hope had absolutely no doubts that the source of his power had come from the lithe, graceful unicorn that had quite literally come in the moment that he needed the power it granted most. A small cough against his shoulder made him look down again; luminous aquamarine eyes were instantly fixed on him, confusion and a _pleasant _sort of surprise filled them. "Hope?"

He was relieved to hear that her voice was back to normal—as normal as it could've been under their current situation. Giving her head the slightest of all shakes, she pressed a palm against the floor, pushing herself up into a sitting position, though she made no move to squirm away from their contact and proximity. "What… happened?" Twisting her head slightly to look at him, Hope suddenly wasn't sure how to respond.

"I…" _All I did was admit that I needed you. It was selfish... _"You're okay," he said softly against her hair. She exhaled slightly, a quiet hum leaving her lips,burying her face in his throat for a moment. Drawing away the next, she slowly pushed herself into a standing position, their joined hands pulling him up as well. "You _are_… right?"

Lightning gave a soft snort, taking a half step back. "I'm fine… relatively, anyways." She glanced down, inspecting the blood that smeared unbroken skin on her arms, curiosity decorating her gaze before an intense understanding shadowed it. Hope waited for her to say it—she seemed to know what had happened—but she didn't; straightening her uniform, it was awhile before she spoke again. "So how'd you do it? Use magic like that?"

_I—what? _It wasn't a realization that had quite made it to his mind just yet—until she'd mentioned it, it hadn't really occurred to him that what'd happened was actually… "I… don't know." Letting go of him, for a moment, Hope thought she'd been offended. Bending down, he realized she'd spotted her weapon lying a few feet away from them, picking up both the gunblade and the dim scarlet sphere that lay near it in one motion; swiftly reholstering the weapon, she played with the orb in her fingers for a moment, finally holding it up in her palm.

"You have one… right?" Confused, he didn't see what she was implying until he remembered the way the bird had burst from hers back in the mountain. Digging his hand into the sling at his side, Hope expected the cold metal casing to meet his fingers the moment he did—only, it didn't. His fingers touched smooth glass, a tingling running through his skin at every point of contact. Pulling it out, the warm yellow of its surface surprised him; the soft glow lit up the area around them, illuminating Lightning's face, throwing her delicate features into full relief. "See?" She closed his hand over it with her own. "So… what exactly did you do?" she repeated; the curiousity in her eyes momentarily surprising him.

Almost too embarrassed to say it, Hope knew exactly what'd he'd said before the warmth that pervaded his limbs. Coughing to hide the blush that wasn't quite hidden in the semi-darkness, she didn't look away from him, clearly expecting an answer. "I didn't want to lose you," he finally admitted, trying not to look sheepish but feeling the faint heat already beginning to creep up his neck. "So I thought… you know, that I couldn't let it happen—that I still needed you." _Maker, please don't tell me she's going to laugh at me. _He honestly expected her to—but instead of snorting at him, or something equally as derogatory, Hope found that she was looking at him with an almost_ painful_ expression in her eyes. Apprehension fear instantly made him freeze. _What did I do wrong? _

Lightning caught the look on his face before Hope could think of how to react next—shaking her head, she bit the bottom of her lip. "No… it's not you. It's…" A pained sigh escaping her, she bowed her head slightly, pink bangs obscuring her face. "I just never knew—outside of family—that I could feel so close to someone else… to consciously _know_ that I need them too." It was her turn to look embarrassed, and although somewhere in the back of his mind knew that this was neither the right place nor time for it, the step Hope took forward to close the distance between them was involuntary, intending to reach out for her. Lightning rested her forehead on his shoulder for the fraction of a heartbeat.

Startled, not quite believing what he was hearing, Hope stared at the top of her head for a moment. Bubbly relief was beginning to make its way upwards in his chest, but it was a sensation that he had no words for; the sort of feeling that made him appreciate the snatched moments they shared even more than he already did—something that he could tuck away to remember for later. Deciding to be honest, he met her gaze steadily when she stepped back a moment later, hand gripping her upper arm to prevent her from moving too far away. "I-I don't…"

A soft sound of exasperation made its way past her lips, the emotional intensity of those words in her eyes beginning to be replaced by a tenuous sort of amusement. "You don't what?" Gently tugging her arm out of his grasp, Hope mindlessly ambled after her as she started to feel her way around the walls, clearly looking for a path to follow. _Of course._

Fighting his own wry smile, Hope could admit that he felt a little disgruntled at the way she'd chosen to deal with things, but he could also understand where she was coming from—he knew as well as she did that they still needed a way to get out of what seemed to be a pit they'd fallen into, it was that he knew Lightning's way of dealing with emotions she wasn't quite sure how to handle all too well: she forced her body into motion, giving her mind something else to focus on while she tried to digest the facts. Stuffing the weapon and the glass sphere away, Hope tried to think of a way to express the tumultuous emotions inside. He didn't want to lie to her—after all, she'd been the cause of them, and there was a part of him that wanted her to know that. "I don't know… just, you surprise me sometimes," he admitted, a part of him feeling small when she turned to give him a skeptical look.

"'Surprise' you?" she queried, hand resting on the rock beside her. "I guess…" _Oh Maker..._

"Don't take this the wrong way," he pleaded, trying to rectify his mistake before she completely misunderstood things. "I just…" _Be honest. _"I've been, well… someone you've had to look after this entire time, and to hear you say that _you _needed _me_—it just surprised me, that's all." The look in her teal irises fading to an intensity fueled by an emotion he didn't quite dare to believe just at the moment, she turned around fully to face him.

"Don't say that." It was more of a command than it was a simple statement; the husky tone of her voice denoting so much more than what the three simple words implied. "If you hadn't been there, _I _wouldn't be here now. You know that as well as I do. So don't… _ever_ say that to me again—got it?"

Momentarily taken aback by the sudden harshness of her tone, it took him a few moments to realize the intent behind it. Stunned into silence, by the time he'd figured it out, she'd already moved away, footsteps muffled against the smooth stone of the ground underneath. _Thank you. _

* * *

Back pressed to the cold stone, Lightning had definitely had better days. Muscles still tense with a deeper fatigue that went beyond simple exhaustion, Lightning knew it wasn't something a quick cure spell would've taken care of, though her head felt clearer than it had been since before they'd entered the stone ruins. Not quite sure what it had to do with, whether it was simply because of the magic or because of the conversation that had happened afterwards, it was something she wasn't going to concern herself with for the moment being. There would be a time—provided that they still could make it out of here somehow—for her to figure it out on her own, _away _from certain distractions, but for the moment being, she could just feel content that there were no further desperate, panicked emotions struggling to make it past her chest and throat.

The passageway tight and narrow, she had to bend over slightly to move properly—Lightning could only imagine how things would be for Hope, who was a few paces behind her. Half a head taller than her, he probably had to duck his head completely down. There hadn't been any other way out of the pit they'd fallen into and it had taken them half an hour of groping in the darkness to find this particular passage that led away from it. Bumping her head on a low jutting rock more than a couple of times, the muttered curse that dropped from her lips when a particularly sharp stalactite collided with the right side of her head drew a low chuckle from Hope.

Exhaling a snort through her nose, raking an impatient hand through tangled pink locks, her foot splashed into a puddle, creating an echoing noise that rang painfully for a few seconds—far too long for her tastes. Instantly tensing her muscles, she stood still for a few moments, causing Hope to bump into her from behind. "Something wrong?"

"No." Staying in that position for a few more minutes, relaxing only slightly when there was no sound of pursuit in the aftermath of the puddle incident, she moved forwards again, fingering for her weapon just in case. "Where's Snow?" It wasn't something that had occurred to her before—in the chaos of actually being _thrown_ off the stone ledge they'd been standing—or more accurately, _kneeling_—on and the subsequent battle that had followed, she hadn't actually considered, or bothered worrying about, where the errant brawler had gone.

She heard Hope stumble a little—head bumping at the same stalactite that she'd had, a faint smile twitched at the corner of her lips. "I don't know," came the reply a few moments later. "Wasn't he with..."

"The dragon?" she supplied. _Figures. Wipes out the Cie'th and tried to take us with it. _"So, he's somewhere up there." _The question is, how are _we_ going to get up there? _The path in front of them didn't seem to slant upwards in any way, and Maker knew where it lead—the only thing that had been appealing about it was that it had been a way out of the pit they'd fallen into. As if to answer her question, the sound of distant rumbling, somehow magnified by the wetness of the rocks surrounding them, reverberated through the narrow cavern, carrying with it the sound of something else.

"Light—" Lightning didn't need him to finish the sentence, gripping his wrist with her free hand, she pulled him forwards, pushing her body into a rough sprint. Heartbeat jumping to her throat, every single sound other than the noise that they were making running through the narrow passage felt like it was going to give her a heart attack. Rounding sharp corners, she was forced to let go of him when the cave narrowed considerably; shoulders barely fitting in the width of the passage, she could only hope that he could still fit in the narrowness of it. Fervently hoping that it would put some distance between them and the sound of the still-alive Cie'th from somewhere else, she'd turned around to gauge their progress, stumbling up a tumble of rocks without looking.

"_Look out_!" The shout behind her made Lightning jerk her head up, grey-brown claws barely missing her eyes, dragging tears down one cheek. Muscles reacting instinctively, firing at the Cie'th seemed to drive it back. Using the spare seconds that it gave her, she scrambled up the last few rocks barring their way, dropping down on the other side. Bright light pierced the ground in thin rivulets, highlighting swirling motes of dust left behind by the Cie'th that had rushed up to them. Small stones slipping down the tumble of rocks that formed a natural barricade, Hope slid down beside her, eyes instantly going to the thin cuts on her cheek.

Shaking her head, she crouched behind a boulder, signalling him to follow. "Don't bother," she muttered—it wasn't worth the effort he would have to put into it and Lightning had a feeling that they would need that magic for more important uses in due time. Shriek shattering the silence around them like a shockwave, it made them both instantly clamp their hands over their ears; squeezing her eyes shut, Lightning tried to block out the sound, knowing it was a paralyzing screech that would immobilize them both if it continued for too long.

A nudge to her side made her look up. Shoulder pressed to the rock they were crouched behind, Hope mouthed a sentence at her. _"Where is it?" _Trying to listen with her hands over her ears, it was risk she had to take. Moving closer to the edge of the shadow provided by the boulder, she peered around it, eyes straining to see in the contrasting environment provided by the harsh clash of light on darkness, it was hard to see what she was trying to look at at first.

Twisted, gnarled limbs unfurling from the lump of grey, sickly flesh on the ground, it was a Cie'th assuming its attack position. Misshapen limbs touching the rock below, spindly legs didn't quite support the weight of its bulky body. Steel-grey skin stretched over most of the wine-coloured flesh underneath, the flash of those scales formed an armoured shell, not unlike the one they'd seen on the tentacled Cie'th before. It closed its pointed, beaklike mouth with a snap, cutting off the wailing sound almost instantly; lumbering forwards, something cold seized her gut when Lightning realized that one of its appendages was much, much bigger than the rest—shaped almost eerily like a scythe, it moved towards them with surprising agility the moment she caught sight of it.

Instinct dropping her body to the ground, she ducked underneath the deadly limb, shoulder-rolling to the side, pulling the trigger of her weapon as fats as the mechanism would allow. Bullets bouncing off its shell uselessly, it raised its curved forelimb; realization slammed into her chest like a physical blow a heartbeat before it actually happened. _Hope! _"Run!" she screeched, hoping to attract its attention before it brought its claw down on the boulder, trying to give him time to run.

Scrambling backwards, the curved claw barely missed him as he backed against the wall. Electricity flashed through the cavern, lighting up its dimmest corners, but the creature was unfazed; advancing on him like a cougar might on its helpless prey, it had Hope cornered in less than a minute. None of the spells thrown at it seeming to work, the flames and raging torrents of water licked at the armoured shell—just as useless as the bullets had been.

Trying to force her numbed body into action, Lightning couldn't think of a way to attract its attention; unlike its counterparts that they'd encountered earlier, this one seemed to know what it was doing. Deadly intent aside, there didn't seem to be a way to beat it—Lightning was painfully aware of the fact that it had taken both the dragon's steely strength and the blazing inferno of the phoenix to defeat the tentacled Cie'th. Dark blue scales shimmering in the faint half-light, its thrashing tail thumped on the ground, closing in on him. _Think... think! _Desperation fueling both her thoughts and movements, the realization came just as the monster raised its clawed appendage.

_"Freeze it_!" The command slicing through the air, there wasn't time to extrapolate—she would have to hope that he would understand the reasoning behind the short sentence. There wasn't a chance that the Blizzaga would harm it in any way, but if Hope could catch it in a vulnerable position, one that exposed its fleshy, unprotected underbelly... _Then maybe, we actually stand a chance._ She had no way of making sure whether he'd heard or not; ice blossoming under the Cie'th spindly limbs like a flower, the thin appendages caught in the flash freeze were like delicate petals coated with frost; blackening and withering under the potency of the spell, it allowed him to scramble over the fading ice.

A frustrated shriek coming from the Cie'th, it wasn't one meant to paralyze. Struggling against its icy bonds, chips and crystals of glacial ice tumbling to the ground, Lightning raised her weapon in preparation for its attack. Ripping itself free from its frozen tomb in one fluid motion, she hadn't quite been prepared for the quick lash of its tail as it whipped around, enlarged limb poised to attack. Hitting her in the side, the momentum of the move stunned her for a moment, knocking the breath from her lungs as she collided with the cold stone of the wall. Sharp pain flaring in quick needles up from her back, it was quickly erased by the fluid caress of a cure spell. It didn't return the breath to her lungs, but it settled her vision and it gave her the ability to once again look at what was happening—something Lightning wasn't sure was a blessing or curse.

In the moment he'd taken to heal her, Hope had left himself dangerously vulnerable; squashed in a corner, back to the shattered remains of the boulder they'd hidden against earlier, there wasn't time for him to prepare another blizzard spell; no way would the icy fingers catch the Cie'th in time. Thunder and fire seemed to glance off its armour like little more than rain on leaves, water only seemed to make it stronger. Trying to drag herself forwards on her hands and knees, her burning chest and the inability to breathe properly had robbed her of her ability to stand. "Hope..." Name formed on rasping lips, the scrape of metal on stone seemed too slow—time itself seemed to stop; the distant rumbling and cries that denoted the approach of more enemies seemed muted. But aiming her weapon at the tail of the Cie'th wouldn't help him now; she couldn't catch its attention and any attacks on her part would only serve to aggravate it. _No...No! _

The moment the one syllable word formed in her mind, it was like it had fueled something else—brilliant photons of light gathered against the chest of the Cie'th as it raised its scythe-like arm once more. Shrill whinny filling the cold air, drowning out all other sounds that might've pierced this edge of time and space, a curved, golden horn sliced at the Cie'th, turning it onto its back, exposing the wine-coloured flesh that was unprotected by armour. Dipping its mane of silver adorned with purple and maroon beads, chained bangles enclosed its forelegs as it galloped forwards. Swinging Hope up onto its back, the glowing summon tore at the Cie'th with sharp hooves accented by thunder crackling from nowhere. Piteous screech knifing the air, the unicorn-like entity was unfazed, watching it calmly as its limbs dropped to ash-grey dust; falling to the ground, consuming itself with one final flicker of bluish flame.

Rumble growing closer, the sounds attracted its attention; flicking large ears in its direction, the creature suddenly reared, cantering towards the source of the sound with renewed vigour. Floor shaking under thunderous hooves, for a moment, Lightning was afraid that it would trample her along with the remains of the Cie'th—strong hands seized arm as it flashed by; struggling to hold her up at first, by the time she'd recovered enough to help him, she was already staring at the calm relief of Hope's emerald gaze. "Are... you okay?" Spoken between panted breaths, she used the momentum of the steed to haul her body over its back; hindquarters moving up and down as it ran, silvery tail streaming outwards behind it, it was reminiscent of Odin.

Still too breathless to speak, not quite having recovered from the events of the past five minutes, she simply nodded, a soft gasp escaping her lips when a particularly violent motion almost threw her off its back. Thrusting its horn at the thin rock wall, the creature burst through the stone, throwing aside the blind Cie'th that had been gathered behind it with ease; flailing arms trying to reach through the cracks in the stone, they were quickly trampled by the quick gallop of the horse as it shouldered its way past them.

Pitched backwards every time the steed rounded sharp corners, Hope seemed to be having an easier time than she was; clinging to the creature's maned neck, there was nothing for _her_ to hold on to, except... _Maker, Hope, could you make this _any _more awkward than it already is? _Slipping her arms around his waist, jostled up and down by the galloping motion, there was only one way to let it move freely under both their weights. A hum coming from the back of his throat the moment her fingers wrapped around middle, her head was leaning against his back—there was no need for direction: the warm presence of the horse-like creature underneath them seemed to know where it was going. His breathing and heartbeat prominent under the layers of skin and fabric between them, Lightning tried not to let the warmth distract her.

Cracks were beginning to appear in the ceiling above; aided by the flashes of sparks that were being set off every step, the shift of churning stone sounded louder every corner they turned. "Cave in," she gasped out, hoping that he'd heard her over the sound of the wind pushing by.

"I know—" Voice hoarse against the grate of air, Hope was cut off when sudden brightness pierced the space in front of them, causing her to let go of his waist with one hand to shield her eyes. Bursting into free space, Lightning barely had time to take in their new surroundings when the creature leaped—the expanse of space before them was wide and unforgiving; the bottom of it beyond what she could see, the thought of falling twisted her stomach.

But the unicorn-like creature seemed to be in control, its jump fluid and powerful, they landed with a harsh clatter of hooves and sparks on the very tip of the edge of the stone scales. Stone shifted down around them, choking the air with greyish dust as the entire structure tilted downwards dangerously, chain lattice underneath rattling wildly under caving pressure. Rock splitting with a guttural groan, they were racing against time itself. Thrown against Hope's back in the steep downward angle, Lightning clung for dear life as the equine summon struggled to regain its balance, mane thrown out wildly in its attempt to right itself.

Leaping from falling boulder to falling boulder, every jump seemed more precarious than the last. Tears of grey-brown flesh and stone alike buffeting the air, the stumbling steps as it landed on the very bottom lattice gave away its dwindling strength. Much slower now, it took a few more faltering canters forwards, bringing them both to the mouth of the cave before pitching to one side. Support underneath her vanishing in a heartbeat, Lightning fell rather unceremoniously to the ground on her hands and knees, earning her a few more superficial wounds to her list of injuries. Golden sphere reforming in Hope's left hand, still gasping for adequate breath that their precarious ride seemed to have robbed from her, it was a moment before anyone broke the silence.

"Is it... still going?" Staring up at the ceiling above them, Hope had scrambled to one knee, breathing hard. Following his gaze, it took an inordinate amount of effort to push herself up into a kneeling position to follow his gaze. From their vantage point, at the very bottom of the chain lattice, it was hard to tell. The amount of debris that was coming down, along with the collapsing silhouette of the stone scales, made visibility poor and filled the air with a metallic sort of stone dust, something that wasn't the best for someone frantically trying to regain the ability to breathe properly. Still coughing, Lightning pushed herself to her feet, covering her nose and mouth with her hand. _But what made it collapse? We didn't—did we? _

Stumbling after her, it was only when they'd made it to the relative shelter of an overhang did she take a good look at him since the moment back in the cavern. Dirt smeared on his cheeks, sweat clinging to his brow, Hope looked as exhausted as she felt. Nevertheless, there was a sort of confidence in his green gaze that she hadn't seen for a very long time—an assurance that he was no longer looking for. It didn't take her long to catch up to that sentiment; fighting a wry smile, she had to admit that it was long overdue. _Because he finally... _Of course, it meant that she no longer had any grounds to _stop _him anymore, but for some reason, the thought didn't irk her as much as she thought it would—their new level of understanding, spoken aloud or not, had made her realize that _she _wasn't the only one looking to protect someone.

_It's taken me a long time to realize... but he's got just as much to lose as I do. And it's about time I figured that out for myself. _The thought brought a faint rush of heat to her neck, and Lightning had just been about to open her mouth to answer his question—deciding to save that confession for a later time—when a familiar holler interrupted her.

"_Heeeeeey_! Sis! Hope! Over here!" Both of them turning at once, it wasn't hard to spot the tattered trench coat that could only signify one person riding atop the beige-and-purple dragon that she remembered from their previous fight. Steely wings outstretched, it was soaring towards them, expertly dodging the chunks of rock that were being dislodged by the collapsing cavern. "Where've you two _been? _D'you know how long I've spent flying in circles?"

Familiar irritation growing almost instantly, she didn't need the the exasperated sigh from Hope to feel angry; when Snow drew close enough, slapping the dragon's hindquarters to drop it down to their level, she waited until Hope had clambered onto the scaly back before raising her weapon; Snow flinched, clearly anticipating that she was about to shoot at an enemy, when a bullet grazed the top of his bandanna. "Hey!" he yelped at her, turning around hastily before gingerly patting the top of his head. "What was _that_ for?"

"_You_," she snarled quietly as she followed Hope onto the dragon's back. "We nearly died because of that stunt you pulled with this pet of yours. _What _were you thinking?"

Snow looked sheepish—for once, he had the tact to look embarrassed. "Well," he stuttered, trying to avoid the anger she knew he could see. "How _else_ was I supposed to get rid of all the monsters? Besides, Sis, don't be mad—I just saved your life. We gotta get outta here now!" Slapping the dragon's neck, it let out a grating shriek before flapping its leathery wings with loud _snap_s, rising quickly into the air. "We're square now, right?" he hollered back over the sound of the wind.

Clinging to a spine that rose from the dragon's back, she heard Hope chuckle at the last question; amusement decorated his green eyes as the reptilian creature burst from the top of the ruins into a bloody sunset that stained the stone and sand beneath them a deadly scarlet. The sight of that—and the unmanned hovercraft in the corner, reminding her all too well what she'd seen at the very bottom of those ruins, made Lightning close her eyes for a moment. _What I could've lost so easily... just like that. _

Lightning looked past Hope's calm expression to Snow's eager, amused ones, his earlier question assuaging some of the unease and apprehension those memories brought.

_You sure better hope so. _

* * *

**And that, folks, is a wrap. Can you imagine how long this chapter would've been if I smushed these two together? I shudder just thinking about it—so many things've happened, I probably wouldn't be able to make sense of it all... and _I _wrote this. So hopefully, hopefully... this made sense to you all; it probably wasn't as strong of an ending as Part 1, but we _did _have what's gotta be one of my favourite moments in this storyboard early on, yay! Here's to hoping I didn't bungle the rest of it, though. ^^**

**You know the part that cracked me up when I was writing, though? Haha, riding the pony with Hope—all its anticipated awkwardness when there's nothing else to cling to, right? And the motion of Ixion _so_ isn't going to make it better, huh, Light? *cackles*  
**

**Which brings up my next point—I'm hoping you guys figured the summons out, right? Right? I think Ixion was pretty easy to guess; I mean, thunder and a unicorn? In regards to what the inscription in Hope's sphere said, I think it matches perfectly. *does happy dance* I so totally thought this out beforehand. And about Snow's dragon: well, I already gave you Ixion, so when I say they're from the same series, does that help? n_n  
**

**_Anyways. _Onto my thanks list, seeing as this chapter did not have an opening—much love goes to YuffentineRippalLightHope (awh, thank you. I always try to make my characters as human as possible; after all, they _are _supposed to be human. No amount of aforementioned badassness is going to change that), That One Reviewee (*is tackled* I'm glad you liked it! That scene in itself was a nightmare to get right, but thankfully... it looks like I did!), GkMader (okay, I can _not _be cruel to my readers occasionally, okay? xD), LawMan (LOL. I know, bro, believe me, I know), ChileanGuest (I hope you had fun at your Independence Day? Ours just means a day off — and hopefully this chapter answered your question?), and Mylaervain (aha, thank you hon; but I'm probably not the best out there. ^^;;)  
**

**To _H-thar _- *squee* Your Hope will always be the inspiration of mine — whenever mine gets caught up in Light's stubbornness, I shall direct him over to your fic so he can feel better about himself. 8D That being said, folks, if you haven't checked out _H-thar's_ new story, you totally should. *nods*  
**

**To _LadyAlaska_ - see, told ya you should've been proud of Light! She finally admitted it! 8D  
**

**So, leave some love if you so desire - let me know how I did (and that being said, if you noticed any mistakes in this, please let me know). I'm pretty stoked for the following chapter—actually, let me rephrase. I'm _really_ stoked for the next chapter, although I have no idea when it'll be up. I _want _to say Thursday or so, but please don't take that as being written in my own blood and notarized—I could be wrong. *droops* But I _will _say it contains another one of those 'moments' — a _very _defining one, I might add, so I do hope to see you all soon, and once again thank you all for your continued support!  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	38. Time Zero

**So hey all, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**So three days isn't bad, right? Though I admit, you guys know I was pretty stoked for this chapter—I don't want to disclose anything just yet, so I'll leave it at that. And yay for being early—university has been relatively kind to me these past few days, so lots of things came together for me to make this chapter possible as it has been. :3  
**

**That being said, thanks and love to to: LawMan (ahahahaha... raging hormones. I love that. Definitely true and definitely representative.), Mylaervain (That bell sounds like a good idea. Remind me to remind Light to invest in one. And aha, that game—the hours I spent in it trying to get the glyphs was... no, never mind.), Whistlewind Wolf (Yep, it was Valefor—hopefully the game you were thinking of was X? That was the one I had in mind. ^^;; Erm, we're about somewhere between 80-85% percent there, so not too much longer...), and GKMader (_so _classic I wish she could've done it in game. University hasn't been too terrible for me, thanks!)! Once again, I could not have made it this far without you all, so thank you again!  
**

**To _H-thar_ — Yup, it's the thing that's been bugging him throughout this whole thing. Believe me, Hope is just as relieved as you. And here's to hoping that this chapter made a wonderful day even better? :3 I'm seriously hoping this one will, well... you'll see. ;D  
**

**Special thanks go to _LadyAlaska _for sure; if you hadn't been there, cheering me on the moment I mentioned (many weeks ago) that this chapter was going to come to fruition somewhere down the line, it wouldn't have been possible. At all. *hearts*  
**

**But I'm not gonna lie — I'm sitting here, right now, literally about to have a heart attack. I'm nervous - I really am. Though inspiration was like an everlasting dose of coffee for me this time around, I'm seriously hoping I didn't bungle it down the line somewhere — and if I did, I will be very sad. *droops* This chapter has been combed through over and over — lines written and rewritten to the point where they no longer were the original ones I came up with in my head, but so long as they sound right, I'll be happy? (And if there's some technical mistake in there somewhere - I'm sorry; let me know?) I'll just have to cling to the thought that I could've done worse.  
**

**That being said, this chapter will not have a closing A/N (for reasons that I'd like to keep the atmosphere built up by the chapter as it is—_not_ that it's too long this time around), so leave some love/thoughts/whatever the ending leaves you with, and I _promise _it'll be put to good use.  
**

**Enjoy as always!**

* * *

Chapter 38: Time Zero

Formalities aside, Lightning couldn't say that she was sorry she hadn't been required to attend the debrief that was going on in Command at the moment. It was no doubt going to be long, boring, and consist of topics of discussion she already _knew_. More than happy to be excused, afternoon sunshine pierced through orderly windows as she walked down the hallway, hand still resting on the handle of her weapon even though she knew there wasn't any possible way that there would be any enemies in her general vicinity.

Rubbing her eyes with her free hand, she knew the lack of sleep was starting to get to her. Trawling in and out of nightmares, they'd woken her up more than once in the week that they'd returned. Trapped in the strange void between dreams and reality, there'd been a couple of occasions where she hadn't known where she was anymore, memories and perception twining into a single plane where they could coexist. _That _was what frightened her the most—that she could no longer discern between dreams and waking; what were fears and what was reality. _Get a grip_, she told herself grumpily. _He's going to notice if you keep this up—and he's already lost enough sleep over your nightmares. No need to make it worse. _Hope had already commentated over the dark shadows underneath her eyes a few days ago—she'd made a point of hiding them after that, not wanting the fuss she knew he would make over it.

_If only things were so easy to hide from him. _Hope read her like an open book—she felt like one, at any rate. He picked up on her mood changes like a barometer before a storm, and in retrospect, Lightning supposed she couldn't blame him—it wasn't _his _fault that she'd been using him as an emotional walking stick for the past few months.

And that—that, precisely, was what unnerved her—the thing that had been at the core of all her deep rooted fears. _What would I do… if he wasn't here? _It was a question without an answer— for the simple fact that she didn't have one. Increasing the pace slightly, not wanting to show the flare of panic that reared inside at the very thought even though the hallway was deserted, a voice jumped out at her from the shadows.

"Lieutenant-Colonel Farron. Is that you?"

Her hand twitched too quickly; body instinctively reacting to the voice that she couldn't immediately place, her weapon was out of its holster and in her hands before the man visibly shrivelled before her gaze, withering into the shadows of the perpendicular hallway he'd emerged out of. Narrowing her eyes, Lightning took in the dishevelled appearance of the lab-coat clad scientist. Looking much more haggard since the time they'd last met, dark shadows not unlike the ones underneath her own eyes hardened his features; lids swollen and lined with creases that hadn't been there the last time around, the bronze hair was messily swept back into an untidy ponytail. Carmine had developed a tremor in his hands; wringing them constantly as he spoke, he shifted from foot to foot under her gaze. "You've looked better," she remarked dryly, unwilling to loosen her grip on the handle of her omega weapon.

The scientist gave a nervous laugh, reaching behind his lab coat to bring out a long, pointed object—one she immediately recognized as the sword they'd taken from the underground lake. _When'd he get ahold of—_ "Duty is as duty calls," he explained, giving another nervous chuckle. "But here you are—we couldn't find anything, or rather, there was nothing for us _to _find, so it's about time that it was returned to you." Dangling the hilt of the weapon from one pinkie, she wasn't sure whether the flippant man was taunting her or not. Gaze narrowed in suspicion, Lightning realized that she didn't trust the man any further than she could throw him. _Hope didn't mention…_

Hooking it off of his finger in one fluid motion, she clutched the weapon tight in her free hand. Carmine seemed to cotton on quickly to her animosity; lips pulling back into a faint smirk with just a hint of ugliness behind it, Lightning tried to reign in her flaring temper. _Okay, Farron—no need to get in trouble for assaulting this sorry excuse for a researcher. _"Thank you for your efforts," she growled out between gritted back teeth, trying not to rise at the clear provocation only standing a few feet away from her.

Turning on her heel, she turned to go, fingers pushing the gunblade back into its holster, the last few words the researcher tossed over his shoulder before stumbling away chilled her to the core. "That's not a problem at all, Lieutenant-Colonel. After all, we humans always seem to learn to appreciate things more when we know what it means to lose them, don't we?"

The words rooting her to the spot, Lightning froze; muscles tense, mind teeming with possibilities, the stiff glacial fingers the last sentence sent down her spine wouldn't let her make sense of the thinly veiled insinuation of those words. _What—_By the time she'd whipped around, the man had gone, leaving nothing but an empty hallway in his wake.

Trying to keep her composure, her footsteps echoed loudly on the linoleum floors; past caring about the amount of noise she was making, the only thing that concerned her now was the barely-concealed threat in Carmine's last sentence. _"We humans always seem to appreciate things more when we know what it means to lose them, right?" _On the surface, the words seemed harmless—the weight of the sword gripped tight in her left hand seemed to be the subject of the sentence.

_But what if… No. _He couldn't know about _that_… could he? And in retrospect, Lightning realized with sinking horror that she couldn't have been more obvious—in the short time that she'd actually interacted with the man, she'd been all too clear about _who_ she cared about. Shaking her head, she tried to contain the faint whimper that threatened the back of her throat; she _couldn't_ let it take over just now. _We have to be okay—I have to believe that. _

Absorbed as she was in those thoughts, she didn't hear the approach of someone else. "Hey." Timid hands tugged at her upper arms; pulled into an advertent, albeit awkward, hug, Hope's warmth at her back didn't exactly change the fact that she started at the moment of contact—she _knew_ it was him, but that didn't prevent her body from reacting as it would've had it been a complete stranger. Letting go of her almost instantly, he took a step backwards, faint confusion shadowing his apologetic viridian gaze.

Moving a hand up to her face, Lightning leaned back against the warm window. _Maker. _"Don't… look at me like that," she mumbled. "You scared me, that's all. I thought you were—" Cutting herself off, Lightning clamped her mouth shut before she could worry him about things that there was no need for him to concern himself with.

Concern taking over the playful anxiousness in his expression, Hope moved closer to her. "Thought I was who?"

"Never mind," she sighed into the palm of her hand. "Don't worry about it, okay?"

Gently prying her hand away, fingers locking around her wrist, she found herself being forced to look into his soulful verdant irises. "But I _am _worried, Light," he countered, voice slightly indignant. "You don't look like you've been sleeping at all, and you look like you've seen someone's ghost." Ducking his head sheepishly at the last words, he watched her from under platinum bangs to gauge her reaction.

Deciding—for the moment being—to disregard his last few sentences, Lightning decided to change tack before the situation got beyond one she couldn't control. Not sure how long she would be able to stand there immune to his cautious probing, it was probably better if it was a topic they avoided. "What're you doing here?"

Momentary frustration clouding his gaze, she could see him struggling to keep it under check, a fact that she knew she wasn't supposed to be feeling glad about. There were some things about which Hope was just as stubborn as she was—especially when things came down to her well-being, a fact that Lightning wasn't sure whether she hated or appreciated. Deciding to let it go for the moment—to her relief—he pushed his hands into his pockets before looking up again. "I could ask you the same thing. Aren't you… you know, supposed to be at a meeting?"

Shrugging, the warmth of the winter afternoon sun at her back soothed the nerves that had been aggravated by her earlier encounter with the researcher; trying to relax, Lightning knew the harshness of her tone had off-put him, a wrong that she knew she was now obliged to fix, in some form or another. "Didn't need me. They'll call when they do, though." Pointing at the general area of her red pack, Hope's gaze caught the tip of her finger before trailing down to the sword loosely held at her side, eyes widening.

"When did you get that _back_?" Handing it to him the moment he reached for it, she wasn't interested in carrying it any more than she was trying to entertain the clumped fears crowding somewhere at the back of her consciousness. The burning question evident in his green gaze, she wondered, for a moment, how much she was supposed to tell him. Her heart told her that she owed him the truth, but stemmed from the lingering sentiment that she had, somehow, to protect him, there was a part of her that was reluctant to, as though shielding him from the truth would somehow hide him from the ugly flip side to everything that had happened. Taking the silent cue—once again just more proof that he knew her too well—Hope moved on to another question. "So," he started quietly; voice suddenly timid and demure, "you have some time, right?"

Piqued by the sudden tentativeness in his voice, Lightning raised an eyebrow, glad for the momentary distraction. "For what?"

"To talk," he stated simply, not bothering to hide any facts from her at all. Undertone akin to something like pleading entering his emerald gaze, she could admit that it wasn't something she could refuse easily. _Maker. _While she could refuse him some aspects of certain conversations, Lightning couldn't outright deny the conversation itself. "Please?" he added, almost as an afterthought—as though he was afraid she would refuse.

Exhaling a sigh through her nose, she nodded. "Okay," she breathed out, apprehension she didn't think had anything to do with the current situation suddenly twisting her stomach.

* * *

Warm, humid air greeted his nose as Hope pushed open the door to the rooftop. Invited to Command and with nothing to do to whittle away his time while Lightning attended meeting after meeting, he'd taken to exploring the place. Nobody had tried to _stop _him—it seemed that everyone knew who he was associated with, a fact that he didn't know whether he was supposed to feel gratified with or not, and he'd discovered the rooftop on the second day back—a quiet refuge from the otherwise chaotic military command.

Winter hadn't touched the delicate green leaves harboured by the screen of mint-green projectors that shielded against Gran Pulse's elements. Automatic door sliding shut behind them as they passed the threshold, Hope didn't dare open his mouth until they were both settled, arms crossed over knees and shoulders touching, on a small grassy incline. He'd picked up on her jumpy mood earlier—he was _sure_ there was something else wrong apart from what he _knew_ to be sleepless nights—and he could only hope to the Maker that she would open up enough to tell him. _Please don't be mad. _

"So… what are they discussing? That they don't need you for?" It seemed to be a neutral enough conversation topic; one that he was fairly sure she wouldn't try to deliberately skirt around in an attempt; whether it was to hide things from him, or whether it was because she thought it would upset him, Hope didn't know.

It was a few moments before she replied, the tight quality to her voice only confirming his earlier suspicions. "You know. Their big angle of attack. Now that we have, well… those, we can finally plan some sort of major offensive on Granend. But we're not needed because we're going to be _using _those."

The question slipped out before Hope could control it. "Aren't you… scared? Of fighting, I mean."

"I'd be stupid not to be," she replied simply, picking at blades of grass underneath her gloves. Glancing upwards at the grey, cloud-torn winter sky that lay just beyond the shielding projections, he noticed her tighten her hands. "But it's not so much the fighting that I'm scared of… as what I could lose." She left it at that; bowing her head slightly to rest it on her knees, pink bangs obscured most of what Hope could see of her face. Biting the inside of his lip, there was a brief heartbeat in which he wondered whether the next words were meant to be said at all.

"But that's why we're here… right? Because the future we want is one we have to fight for?" It was a few moments before she digested that fact; the ghost of a smile stretching the corners of her lips, Lightning raised her gaze to meet his.

"Right. You're learning," she murmured, a hidden fondness to the tone of her voice before the tranquil expression in her gaze was snatched by a darker shadow.

Leaning forward slightly, Hope reached his fingers for hers, feeling a small wave of relief wash over his chest when she made no attempt to move away. "So what's wrong?" he pressed, determined, this time, that she wasn't going to worm her way out of it. "You've been acting weird today… and I _know _you haven't been sleeping." She narrowed her eyes at him; out of the corner of his eye, Hope felt glad that he wasn't receiving the brunt of her glare.

Lightning was silent for a long time—warm breeze tugging at the locks twisted over her shoulder, she extracted her fingers from his, rewrapping them around her knees; watching the tips of her slim fingers whiten under unseen pressure, he bit the tip of his tongue. _Please don't be mad. _A pained sigh escaped her lips—when she did reply, her voice was barely audible. "Nightmares," she muttered, carefully averting her gaze. "I didn't want to wake you, so…"

"Why not?" For some reason, the simple statement carried with it unexpected hurt. _I thought—didn't you trust me? _She flicked her gaze up at him—understanding suddenly dawned in her expression when she realized what he was thinking.

"No! It's not that—I just… I didn't want to bother you. It was something I could deal with, okay? You didn't need to wake up for something like that." For a moment, she sounded like the old Lightning; the harshness in her tone reminiscent of the way she'd tried to push everyone else away—the aspects of her personal life she was—still—so unwilling to share.

_Don't hate me for this… okay? _The forced firmness in her tone only going to prove that she _needed_ the help he wanted to give her, there was no guarantee that she wouldn't be angry at him—and refuse to speak altogether. It was a trait of hers that had never been truly buried under the new vulnerability that had been brought to the surface by Serah's death; her reluctance to share more than what was absolutely necessary was a habit that stubbornly persisted.

"Are you sure?" he mumbled, carefully looking down at his own hands, desperately hoping that the question wouldn't cross the line. Sure, it was a line that had been carefully readjusted in small increments over the past few months, but there was still a _line._ Hope wasn't sure whether he wanted to find out what would happen if he crossed it; by mistake or not.

But whatever it was he was expecting, it wasn't the look of pain she gave him; barely hidden by the hardness of her teal gaze, it was like it was something real—something _tangible_ he could've held. _Light… _"No," she growled—the words sounded like they'd been grated past thistles; caustic syllables that might've burnt her throat like acid. "I'm not. But I didn't want to make you worry, okay? I'm sorry for trying to make sure that you weren't bothered by my petty troubles—does that make it better now?"

Jerking his head up in shock, if she'd spoken like that to him when they'd first met, the words would've sent him running for cover in the opposite direction. _How can I make her understand? _It wasn't that he couldn't see her side of the argument—it was that she wasn't going about it the right way. _If she doesn't talk about it… it's going to make it worse. She's going to wake up screaming one night, not knowing where she is, and what will we do from there? Someone's going to brand her as emotionally unstable—and what will I be able to do about that? _"Lightning," he started, hating the weak, hesitant tone to his voice. "Don't keep it all in… okay? I _want_ to help—you know that." _Be honest. Be honest. _"I… I don't want to see you go through what you did last time… all over again. So please… when you have one again, let me know?"

The ferocity fading from her expression, she looked away to one side. "See? I knew you'd say that," she mumbled, toying with the handle of the weapon that had slid out from its holster onto the grass.

"So let me help," he begged her, desperately wanting her to understand. _I don't want to see you in pain anymore. _A soft snort leaving her lips, Hope was relieved to see that the pain and doubt in her gaze was slowly being replaced by one of amused exasperation; a silent apology bordering one of acceptance. _Maker, I don't want to push her… _It seemed that they'd barely made it over that particular hurdle and already they were stuck at the next. He _wanted_ to ask her about her strange mood earlier—she'd been uneasy and it was something they both knew, but Hope was afraid that that questions pertaining to that nature would amount to something that would stack over the top of the 'line'.

Sitting in silence for awhile, the sound of her quiet breathing caught his attention—it was forcibly controlled and he_ knew_ she was thinking about something. Dangerously vulnerable words wanted to tumble from his mouth; it was a line he would have to toe carefully if he didn't want to fall; it was a long way down and it wasn't a climb he was sure he would be able to make. "Did something happen?"

Lightning looked like she wanted to ignore the question—she made no acknowledgements that she'd heard it; aquamarine eyes hidden by messy pink bangs, he couldn't even gauge a reaction. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it now," he offered quickly, wanting to amend a mistake if he'd made one. "But… you know, I'm here to listen."

She lifted her head slightly at that; guarded blue gaze offering nothing. "Thank you," she murmured quietly, before nestling her head—to his surprise—on his shoulder.

Floundering for a moment, Hope wasn't sure what he was supposed to do next. _Am I supposed to acknowledge her, or…? _Impulsivity seizing control, he arbitrarily picked a direction to run with—he didn't have a better idea and while it was probably stupid in the long run, it was a curiosity that had been nagging at him for awhile; some aspect of him starved for it, wanting to know as much as he could before the inevitable moment built up. He'd been trying to work his mind around it all week; as though playing with a deadline—or a ticking time bomb that was volatile enough to explode at the slightest mishandle—it was something he wanted to _say_, or at least wanted her to _know_, before things grew out of control again.

Nerves rising again at the very thought; Hope found that he was scared. _Even if 'we'—if that's even the right word to use—have been a possibility for a long time, what if… _It probably wasn't his greatest idea to begin with, but it was equally as stupid—if not even more—to let what seemed to him as obvious fact lie unsaid. _It's like she told me… I'll regret it forever if something happens and I never get the chance to say it. _Hope wasn't sure where the impetuosity had stemmed from—whether it was from the time he'd spent with Snow in Eden, or from Lightning herself; it was a sentiment he could be glad for now… so long as dwindling courage didn't get the best of him beforehand. "Um… Light? Can I ask you something?"

She gave a soft hum of assent; half closed cerulean eyes came to rest on his curiously. Though the expression was somewhat guarded, it had lost its earlier suspicion. "Can you tell me about… you know, you? Before I met you?"

Lightning sat up, brushing pastel pink bangs out of her eyes. "That's a lot of 'somethings'", she said slowly. "Is there a particular reason you're asking me this?" There was no note of accusation in her tone; mild puzzlement mixed with what he thought was surprise, she crossed her arms under her chest, waiting.

"No," he admitted. _Be honest. _"But… you know, it's just something I've been curious about for a long time. I never got to ask you—and there never seemed to be a right time." _But I wanted to know. What the real 'you' was like—who '_Claire_' was. _"We seem to know each other so well in every other aspect," he confessed, feeling small under her scrutinizing gaze, "but in this respect, I feel like I barely know you at all."

A soft snort left her lips again; glancing up hurriedly, she had the knuckles of a hand pressed to her nose; the ghost of a smile stretched the corner of her lips. Shaking her head, Lightning gave a quiet laugh. "I… It's just—I expected this sooner or later," she murmured. "I figured that this was a question you'd want to ask me… somewhere down the line." Raking her hands through her hair again, she resettled herself on the grass incline, aquamarine gaze slowly settling back from its earlier amusement. "So what is it?"

For a moment, Hope was stunned by the answer. _I-I didn't… expect her to agree so easily. _Much less expected was the shock that she'd _anticipated _this particular conversation; a trickle of warmth making it down his throat when it made the precarious line he was holding in his bare two hands easier, it was hard not to stumble over the next words. "S-So, you'll allow it?"

The corners of her lips twitched again; open amusement at his bewilderment. "If that's how you want to put it—I'll 'allow' it," she said quietly; faint shadows flickered in her expression for a heartbeat—hesitation mixed with something he knew to be pain, it was something Hope knew he could cherish. She had to know it would hurt—somewhere down the line, there would be a memory she wouldn't be able to disassociate the pain from. _But she's letting me… _It was something that was overwhelming in the weight it carried; a trust that could've been tangible in everything that it implied.

_I won't let you down, Light._

* * *

Propped on her elbows to one side, Lightning found that her body was unwilling to even tense at small movements by her shoulder. Fingers caught in cherry coloured locks, Hope was trying to untangle the unruly curls she hadn't bothered to run through with a comb that morning. It was _weird_—she'd never allowed herself to be so physically close to another person—unless that person was Serah—but it was no longer something that made her want to flinch away. _But… it's good. Weird in a good way. _

Still unsure of what had compelled her to agree to answering his questions; to 'allow' it, in his words, it wasn't a decision the soldier inside could rationalize. _But strangely… there's a part of me that _wants_ him to know_—_it's been a long time since someone's told me that they wanted to know who I was. _Because there'd been no one who would've wanted to deeply entangle themselves with her—with cold, judgmental Lightning—and whose fault was that? _No one but my own. I pushed everyone away because to me, they were in the way. But I can really say that about everyone else now? _It had been Hope who had ultimately made her rethink—to question the lifestyle she'd carried on her shoulders since the death of her parents.

The old Lightning would've chastised herself—told herself that there was no such thing as 'understanding', and that coming to rely on other people, whether it was emotionally or otherwise, was the most vulnerable—and stupid—thing she could do. _But I can't think that way anymore. _

As things were, she didn't mind the questions in themselves terribly—it was something that bordered a 'normal' conversation, though what the epitome of 'normal' was these days now, she didn't know anymore. The fingers that smoothed down the pastel pink waves draped over her left shoulder stopping in a pause, she heard him take a small breath. "Light? Can I ask you something?" The demure hesitation in his voice made her want to laugh; coaxing a wry smile at the corners of her lips, she half turned her head to face him.

"Pretty sure that's something you've been doing all afternoon. What?"

It was his turn to chuckle sheepishly, ducking his head slightly in a gesture of reticence, before seriousness took over the verdant amusement in his eyes. Sitting up, she followed his movement curiously with her gaze as Hope pulled an arm around the knee he'd brought up to his chest. "Have you—you know, argued with Serah before?"

For a moment, the question stunned her into some form of silence—unsure of how to respond, and painfully aware of the fact that Hope had been painfully honest with her in the past, Lightning wasn't sure how to answer him. _But I owe it to him—at least, I owe it to him to be honest. _"Lots of times," she admitted, picking at a handful of grass underneath her left palm. "Most of it was stupid—it just… It didn't happen before my parents died, but after that…" _Because I was a petty, stubborn overprotective sibling—in short, a bitch.  
_

She caught the dwindling courage in his green eyes—a certain amount of apprehension swam in her own stomach, knowing that she'd already come too far to stop now. "What… happened?"

Lightning shook her head once, pushing pink bangs out of her eyes. "I just… Like I said, it was stupid. And looking back on it now… I couldn't have been more of an idiot. In the beginning, it wasn't… I wouldn't let her stay at friends' houses after school—that sort of thing. I knew I was being overprotective… and I _knew_ it didn't make her happy— but it gave me a sense of peace, you know? That I could keep an eye on her." Lowering her head slightly, the next words had to be forced out through her suddenly closed throat, the syllables burning like cold fire. "And then it got worse. The first time we argued… _really_ argued, was when she went through my stuff. Serah didn't _mean _anything by it—she was just cleaning up, but she found…" Unable to keep going, Lightning wanted to take back every word she'd just said; the pain that was associated with those memories was as acute as the despairing emptiness that had consumed her the first few days after Serah's death.

Hope's prompt was gentle, quiet, and most of all, _understanding_—it was a tone that warned her not to keep going if she didn't want to. "What did she find?"

"My mother's medical records," she confessed, gripping her hands so tightly together that it hurt. "I didn't _mean _to hide things from her, but I didn't want her to go through the same things I did. She didn't have to _have_ that sort of responsibility at fifteen—I did it because I didn't have a choice. But she did—and I couldn't understand why she wanted to embrace it with open arms. And so… she thought I was hiding stuff from her; she asked me if there were more things I was just too stubborn not to tell her." _And how did I reply? _Warm arms snaked around her shoulders, bringing her head against his side. Feeling the sharp flaring burn of tears at the back of her eyes, it was like she _couldn't_ stop anymore. "That isn't even the worst part," she admitted, almost afraid to look at him now. _Is this the person you wanted to get to know? Who couldn't admit things she honestly should've when it mattered—only to wake up every single day when that's gone to regret it? _

"I _threatened_ her—told her that if she really _was_ a l'Cie, it was my job to deal with her." _How could I have done that? _"I wasn't—no, I _didn't_ think; all I could think about was that I couldn't let her marry Snow… and I didn't even think about how that would make her feel." The steady rhythm of his breathing calming her only slightly, Lightning stared at the patch of artificially verdant grass in front of them; unable to fight the prickly pain at the corners of her eyes, she let the collected warmth fall.

Freckling her pale skin, it wasn't long before a hand came to gently caress it. "I didn't mean to upset you like this," Hope begged her quietly, "if you don't want to say any more… you don't have to." She gripped the hand that lingered on her cheeks like a lifeline; the solidity of that grasp slowly instilling a sense of control over emotions in which she knew she had none.

"No," she murmured. _It's good… in a way. I haven't—there hasn't been someone who's wanted to talk to me about this before. _"I wanted to answer." _There's a difference. _

"But… " Hope sounded thoughtful now, voice still uncertain in its tone as though he was afraid he would say the wrong thing. "Serah couldn't have been really angry with you, right? She's human too—she knew you cared. So maybe you didn't say things the way you probably should've… she knew you meant well by it, right?"

Twisting her head around to look up at him, the convinced certainty in his emerald gaze made her want to believe it. "I don't know," Lightning whispered finally. "That's what hurts—I'll _never _know. If she really forgave me for all those times… I'll never know. So that's why…" _So that's why I've been trying so hard not to make the same mistakes this time around… and ended up doing so anyways. I wanted—_

"You haven't," Hope insisted suddenly; the intensity of the next words taking over the earlier, demure hesitation, it made her look up in surprise. "I know what you're thinking. And you _haven't_, Light, so stop it."

A soft snort made its way past her lips at his confidence; the words drawing the ghost of a smile to the corners of her mouth. "Maybe." Silence consumed their surroundings; head still rested against his shoulder, the warmth seeping through the contact slowly relaxed the icy rigidity that had taken over her limbs. It didn't quite calm the emotion still painfully raw inside that the memories had drawn up, but she had a slightly better hold over them now—enough to fuel her own question. "So… can I ask _you_ something now?"

"Which would be…"

"Well?" she murmured quietly. "Still glad you asked everything that you did?" _Can you still sit there… and honestly tell me you love me, knowing the person that's behind it all now? I'm not 'strong'—I pushed people away before they could get close enough to weaken the vulnerable interior; I'm not 'caring'—I couldn't bring myself to say "I love you" to my only sister; I was too embarrassed to admit that I did things because I cared about her. _

"So you think I regretted it?" he asked gently, before the corners of his mouth twitched in an unexpected smile. "I didn't mean to upset you—but Light? It doesn't change anything. I know that everything you do has justification… and you just proved it to me. You don't need to _tell_ someone that you love them—it's the things that you do that tell me I know you _do _care. And that's enough," he finished, the volume of his voice diminishing. "I don't need to know everything—you don't have to _tell me_ everything. I get it."

The same smile pulled at her own lips, except it wasn't one out of happiness; the churn of pain inside mixed with that singular understanding made the overwhelming pain inside a little easier to bear—like it didn't weight the world anymore. _Thank you. _

So when Hope slid his arms around her sides, pulling her close, Lightning didn't hesitate to bury her face against the hollow of his throat, slipping her arms around his back of her own accord. "You ready?" she asked quietly, as he buried his face against her hair.

"For what? The battle?" She heard—and felt—the soft exhale as Hope let out a breath. "It's something we've been kind of working towards since that first day. It's like you said—I'm not saying I'm not _scared_—but… it's something that we've all known would happen eventually. So, to answer your question… yes."

_If only I could tell you I knew you would be safe. _Unable to reply, she simply stayed still; wanting, selfishly, for the moment never to end. Cocooned in false peace; the tranquility of the rooftop hiding the ugly reality she knew was just beyond it, Lightning didn't pull away when he caught her in a gentle, possessive kiss. _It's the only kind of reassurance I _can _give. _

Afterwards, they remained like that for a long moment—one that might've been just that; a heartbeat, or one that might've lasted much, much longer; borne on transcendent wings that might've crossed the barrier to the 'tomorrow' she knew lay ahead of them somewhere, inevitable and unavoidable.

Cheek pressed to the top of her head, she almost missed the words that ghosted by her ear. "Marry me," he murmured against her hair.


	39. Whatever Peace I May Hold

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**Okay, so I didn't think I dropped _that _big of a bomb on you all, but hey, Hope had to ask sometime... Poor Light, it's been a struggle to survive up until now and now she has this to deal with...  
**

**But thank you all so much! Love goes to LawMan (awh, thank you very much—and you're quite right. _Boom._), Lightarcana (thank you very much!), Whistlewind Wolf (uh oh... I honestly didn't mean to break anyone's electronics), Jark Hargreave (no worries, thank you again!), kanarie (please don't hurt yourself, though I'm glad you enjoyed it!), That One Reviewee (no worries at all! And yes, Hope deserves a big round of applause for those two words. *nods furiously*) GkMader (ahaha, the 'moment'. Though in all honesty it's been planned for awhile—glad you enjoyed the backstory!), H-thar (who knows? Maybe Snow _did _put him up to it—and he had to try _something_ else, poor kid was running out of ideas. And as for your other questions, well... you'll see. Soon. I swear.) and Mylaervain (nooooo I imagine he wouldn't. And yes — just like the blond in question. 8D)! Thank you all so much—it couldn't have happened without you all.  
**

**Since I know you guys are all wanting to figure out the answer to 'the question', I'll shut up now, and let you guys in on the chapter. Enjoy as always! Title of this chapter comes from the awesome ending we all know—_ My Hands_, by Leona Lewis.  
**

* * *

Chapter 39: Whatever Peace I May Hold

"_Marry me." _

For a moment, it was like she hadn't heard clearly—words from the deepest pits of her imagination; though Lightning would've never let her imagination run that far from her. Limbs instantly tensing, it wasn't fear or apprehension holding them in place. Sensing the sudden change in demeanor, Hope's grip on her shoulders shifted marginally as she twisted her gaze up to look at him. _W-__What? _

It wasn't that she hadn't heard him—there'd been absolutely no one else for him to say the words to; the soft breeze, generated by a fan somewhere in the facility, wasn't enough for her to mistake them. Bewildered and overwhelmed with what she thought was shock, the honest fear in his viridian gaze stopped her from pushing herself away from him. Some aspect of that reached into her higher mental functions, warning her not to distance herself. _I can't—I don't understand…_ But the first words that left her lips were ones that she hadn't mean to wound with; escaping the back of her throat from something that stemmed from what was left. "W-Why?"

Fear turning into acute pain, Lightning hated herself the moment the stammered syllable left her mouth; she couldn't stomach the blatant hurt that clouded Hope's green eyes. Closing her own, she clenched slender fingers in a fist around the collar of his shirt, stopping him from moving away like she knew he wanted to. _That's not… _"No—that's not… that's not what I meant." Guilt turning her voice into a quiet murmur, she wanted to try to right the wrong she'd already done. Fingers closed around hers, though not in a prying motion that was meant to push _her _away.

"So what… _did _you mean? Trepidation made his voice small; barely louder than her own, Lightning could feel his gaze rested on her face. Slowly opening her eyes, afraid of what they would—or would not—see, she met his gaze tentatively; anguish slowly being collected into an almost _naive _sort of anxiousness, like a child having been caught at something he shouldn't have been doing, he held it.

Slowly moving back a few centimetres so that they weren't directly touching, she felt like closing her eyes again and running; overwhelmed, it wasn't something she could deal with. Frayed emotions strained to their extent, the _weight_ of those two simple syllables wasn't something she felt she could give a straight answer to—crushing and overpowering in its gravity, she felt helpless against it. _How—When did he… _But she could voice none of that—whether it was because the prickling at the back of her suddenly closed throat wouldn't allow her to, or whether it was because she knew that on some level, his heart was balanced on the choice of words she made next, Lightning didn't know. The sentence that _did _slip from her lips was simple. "Are… are you sure?"

Faint surprise flickered through Hope's expression for a moment; contact between their fingers suddenly unbearably tight, he didn't let go of her. "What's there… not to be sure of? I wouldn't have asked you… if I wasn't." Guilt spearing her chest the moment she caught the hidden certainty buried at the back of those syllables, it made her feel worse than she already did. _Why can't I… Why do I always have to be told I'm loved? Why can't I ever return it? Why can't I return it _now_? _Her throat closed at the thought, head bowing slightly, pastel pink bangs slipped into her vision.

"I-I…" _I don't know what to say. _

Painful fingers seized her heart when Lightning recognized the look in his eyes. The same look that had filled them when she'd threatened to leave him behind in the Vile Peaks—the same _lost_ look that only went to show the fragility of the person behind it. And somewhere inside, buried deep at the back of everything else, she wanted to say it back. But the soldier inside knew nothing about _love_—about how to deal with the weight that had been dropped onto her shoulders. She wanted some form of reassurance—something to _hold _onto; a guide, something that could tell her _what to do_—except there was nothing. Her composure was slipping and she knew it.

She knew what it _meant—_and with the gravity of its meaning, she knew everything that came with it. _But that's not… That's not what scares me. _It was something of a surprise, but the moment she touched on that issue, there was no doubt of its truth. That _wasn't_ what scared her—in a way, it'd always been there; there was no one else she _trusted _like that; there was no one else she could ever see herself taking _care of _… and vice versa.

It didn't take her long to find the real reason for her hesitation.

But by that point, Hope had already gotten up; backing away from her as though he was afraid she would attack him with the weapon dangling in its holster from her belt, he didn't wait for her to continue. Words formed in a hoarse, choked voice seemed to solidify the icy fingers of guilt that seized before her ribs; tightening uncomfortably, the support that the ground beneath her gave seemed to be weakening. "I'm sorry, Light." Arm raised, fingers stretched out, Lightning wanted to tell him to stop. _Don't—_ But before she could force her body to react, he'd already disappeared—the words that her throat wouldn't allow her to say still trying to force their way past the burning, caustic pain that had settled there.

_Hope…_

* * *

Head against the smooth, cold steel of the barren desk the military had provided for the drab furnishings, it was soothing against his pounding temples. The conversation from earlier in the afternoon playing in his head on fast forward, as though it was determined to make him regret every single word of it, Hope wanted to strangle himself—except there was nothing in the room to strangle himself _with. _

_So did I really expect her to take it well? _In retrospect, he'd _known _it was a stupid idea—'they' were a concept she'd only really begun to accept recently, and Hope wondered if he would ever forget the shocked silence that had taken over her the moment the words had left his lips. _But I wanted to say it. _Impulsivity combined with a hidden confidence he wasn't sure where it had stemmed from, it was something he _wanted_ to say to her—and deep inside, it was like he'd told her. _There's nothing for me to be unsure about. _

But clearly, she didn't feel the same way—if the panicked anguish that had immediately snatched her previous tranquil aquamarine gaze was any indication, Lightning couldn't have felt further from the same. Hands resting on the back of his neck, having slid there when he'd raked trembling fingers through platinum locks, he wanted to erase the memories from his mind—if such a thing were possible.

_I just wanted… _It was a childish, naïve thought—a reassurance that if she said 'yes', that there wouldn't be any possibility of something else. _But now look at what you've done—she was completely speechless and whose fault was that? _The selfish part of him reminded him that she hadn't actually said 'no'; but what kind of reassurance was that? Hope couldn't forget how quickly the empty desperation had taken over her previous willingness to _stay _close—she'd flinched like he'd stabbed her with something. _So what now? _

If he hadn't completely destroyed what they'd had in those two seconds, where would they go from here? _Would she even acknowledge me? _And deep down, Hope knew that they had to—he'd passed Snow on his way down from the rooftop and in his desperation to put as much distance between himself and Lightning as possible, he hadn't even acknowledged the burly fighter. _No doubt he's going to come asking about that…sooner or later. _Briefly, Hope wondered how much, exactly, Snow knew. Despite what the blond brawler claimed, he had a feeling Snow knew more—much more—than what he let on. _So if we stop talking to each other…_

The possibility of that, combined with the numb horror that was starting to creep up on his limbs left him feeling little more than worthless; he wasn't even sure if it was possible to salvage anything from what they had left—instead of tearing it down piece by piece, as he might've expected from something of the past, it was like he'd ripped it apart with only two syllables, leaving nothing for _something_ to return upon.

_Why am I such an idiot?_

* * *

Leaning against the cold glass of the window, the sight of the crimson sunset being quickly obscured by gathering storm clouds had absolutely no bearing on the inner emotions that there threatening to make a reappearance in some form or another. Her body itched to get up—to _move_; before whatever she'd done stacked up into something that went beyond either of their abilities to fix. Inside, Lightning knew it was the right thing to do—it was a responsibility that was _hers_. _He left himself vulnerable and I couldn't even bring myself to say something. _

And even though she knew it was the _right _thing to do, somehow she couldn't bring herself to get up. There was a reason behind it—one that she knew all too well—and for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to face it. Moving her hands up to her temples, pressing her fingers against her hair didn't help. _Why didn't Serah have any trouble admitting she loved someone? _She knew the answer to that before she'd even finished the thought.

_Because I couldn't say it to her. _A subtle reminder that she'd turned her back on her sister when things had mattered most, it hurt more than she thought it would. _She turned to Snow because you pushed her away. And did she have any problems admitting she loved someone that really cared about her? _ The answer was no, and Lightning knew why. Frustrated and aggravated with herself, it wasn't the weight of the _responsibility _of those words that scared her.

"Hey Sis," Snow's voice broke into her thoughts. The big man was leaning against the open door to the lounge she was sitting at; too reluctant to even go back to her room, which would mean placing herself in a closer proximity to Hope—she'd taken refuge in the furthest place possible. Lightning had been about to open her mouth to snap when she noticed there wasn't the usual flippant grin on Snow's _un_unsually serious face. He scrutinized her for a few heartbeats before continuing. "Look, I know it's not my business, but did something happen? Between you and Hope, I mean."

He didn't back down at the piqued glare she was trying to maintain; raising a hand to scratch the back of his head, he offered her a watery grin. "Look, like I said, it's none of my business. But you know, I passed him in the hallway, and he seemed, I dunno… kinda upset. You sure you didn't say something?"

_It's not what I _said_—it's what I _didn't _say. _Fighting to keep her composure—breaking down, in some form or another—in front of Snow wasn't something she wanted to happen on a good day. "So you tried to talk to him?" If Snow noticed the slight hitch at the end of her syllables, he didn't show it.

"_No_—whatever happened, it's like I told you, none of my business." He crossed his arms over his chest. "But y'know… don't just _leave _things like that. It's not gonna solve itself—and in the end, it's gonna be nothing good. Just talk it out," he suggested, a faint knowing grin pulling at the corners of his mouth, "and it'll be cool."

Striding past him, her left hand curled into a fist. It didn't escape his notice—Snow laughed outright at the gesture. "_Ha_—sure, punch me, whatever. Just go sort things out with him before you ruin the whole group dynamic, got it?"

* * *

Slender fingers clenched together, standing alone in the hallway, Lightning wanted to laugh at herself. _What the hell am I doing?_ It was funny, because she knew _exactly _what she was doing; as much as she didn't want to admit that he was right, she knew she had to take Snow's advice. Trying to control the unease and desperation housed somewhere inside, it was hard not to just back away. _I have to do this. _

But this time, it wasn't a matter of survival—a concept she could understand. This time, it had purely to do with the one thing she'd always touted to be immaterial; something that she had never given time to to think of it as anything of consequence. Her right hand reached up to knock; though whether he was in his room or not was a different question altogether.

There was a short amount of silence; with growing apprehension that tightened like elastic bands underneath her lungs, Lightning briefly considered just leaving. "Who is it?"

The moment she caught his voice, it was like something had slammed her in the chest like a physical blow; guilt spearing her just above her diaphragm, it was a struggle to get the next words out. "It's me," she offered quietly, trying to keep the pained, choked tone out of her voice. "Can I come in?"

Hope didn't reply for a few moments, in which she could've sworn her heartbeat had leapt to her throat, trying to free itself from her bloodstream. "We need to talk," she tried again, finding—to her enormous relief—that the second sentence sounded stronger than the first; holding the undertone of a command rather than a request.

There was the sound of padding footsteps; each one augmented the struggle that she was trying so hard to win, before the door finally slid open, revealing the discomfort in his viridian gaze—one that she knew immediately was her fault. _I'm sorry. _

Stepping back tentatively, she followed him into the room that'd been assigned to him; neither of them speaking, they sat awkwardly side by side on his bed. Shoulders barely touching, the slight warmth the tenuous contact provided wasn't enough to assauge her inner wasteland. Moments stretched on in silence until she finally decided to break it. "Hope." It was only after a pause did she find the inner equilibrium to continue. "We need to talk," she repeated quietly. She caught his gaze by accident—the anguished emptiness in them made icy fingers close around her heart.

"Light, I'm sorry—"

"_No_!" Cutting him off harshly, he clamped his mouth shut; the fear replacing the forlornness in his eyes was reminiscent of the way he'd looked at her when they'd first met. "Stop. Just… stop. You have nothing to apologize for." _I do. _Burying her face into a hand, Lightning wished the emotions inside could express themselves without her having to say something. "_I'm _sorry." _You left yourself wide open and I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge that. _"I didn't mean to…"

_Why is this so hard? _ "You didn't—it wasn't _wrong_," she clarified quietly, hating the unwilling apprehension that was magnified in her voice. "I just… you surprised me," she finally admitted. _Never did I expect… something like that. _

Hope looked carefully away from her out the window; scarlet bled with torn clouds; swirling snowflakes stained crimson with the brilliant sunset that hadn't yet been robbed by the gathering storm, it seemed a cruel metaphor for how she felt inside. "S-So… you're not mad?"

The question was so vulnerably childish, so blatantly _honest_ that it wanted to bring out a small laugh; as it was, the corners of her lips twitched upwards for a brief moment. "You thought I was?" _I've never felt so close to someone else; there's no one else I trust like this. How could I be mad? _"Hope…" she started again. "It just—I didn't expect that," she murmured. _Maker, please let this be the right thing to say. _

He turned around in earnest, a tentative spark of something other than the despair that they'd been caught in igniting. Gripping the rough fabric underneath her palms with trembling fingers, she met his gaze hesitantly. "I didn't mean to react that way," she finished.

Warmth tugged at her hands; intertwining their fingers, the contact was something she _could _understand. _He's waiting for me to say something. _And inside, Lightning knew what she _wanted_ to say—it bewildered her and danced out of her reach whenever she tried to process the rational thought behind it, but an afternoon of brooding hadn't changed a thing and she knew it. "My question still stands," she started, closing her eyes for a long heartbeat. _Are you sure? _

The gentle persuasion in his voice made her open them. "What… you mean, if I'm sure? Why—What makes you think that I'm not?"

"That's not what I meant." The next words were harder; they spoke to the fears she had inside and the pain that had never really left. "It just seems… This isn't about me," she continued, ignoring the wide-eyed surprise that instantly flooded his gaze the moment those particular words left her lips. _But it's true. This was never about me. _"This is about _you. _Are you sure… Is this something you've thought through?"

Pained understanding clouding his gaze, the clench around her fingers tightened. "So you're worried… I'd want something else? Is that what you're asking?" Lightning didn't think she was imagining the surprise in his voice; carrying with it an undertone of soft relief, the painful grip around her lungs loosened only slightly.

"I guess," she mumbled. "It just seems… it's a lot for you to give up." _Because in the end, you'd be the one giving away your life before it's even started; committing yourself to something that there's no easy way out of._

Hope tilted his head to one side slightly; the motion made her want to smile and it was one that soothed the frayed emotions inside. "What would I be giving up?"

She shrugged one shoulder, dipping her head forwards; pink bangs falling into her eyes, the next words carried with them the weight she felt on her shoulders. "I don't know… it's just—are you sure?" Throat suddenly closing, it was hard to get out the next sentence because it was the deep-rooted fear that had been the crux of everything that had happened. "Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with someone like me?"

_I won't lie—I'm not the most loving person on the planet. I can't let go of my past; are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with someone like that—having to deal with nightmares and depression that never really went away? _

Suddenly pulled into an awkward, advertent hug, the motion elicited a quiet gasp from her lips. Arm pressed against him, fingers gripping his shoulder, she'd been unprepared for the moment. The quiet laugh by her left ear was something that spread fingers of warmth into the ice that had settled somewhere in the vicinity of her stomach. "You make that sound like that's a bad thing. _I _love you—that's not changing anytime soon."

_Where does he come up with all of this? _It was a thought that made its errant way into her mind; allowing herself to relax into the embrace, she was touched—in a way only Hope could make her feel—and she knew it. He'd managed to shift the deep-seated pain that was somewhere inside; hesitation turning into a tentative warmth that seemed to reach the very ends of her extremities, the hesitation that had lingered inside seemed to be a memory created centuries ago by someone else; carried forwards until it was a shadow of what it once was. The answer he'd given her still wasn't enough to completely assuage those fears—just like things that always carried with it a hint of pain, Lightning doubted it would ever go away. _But I can't—there's nothing for me to say _no_ to anymore. _It was a reassurance that she'd wanted and he'd given it to her honestly; there was nothing for her to outright _deny _anymore and she knew it. There would be undoubtedly rough spots down the road that he'd already picked for them, but strangely, it was something that she thought they could deal with—a confidence borne out of something that had been wholly strengthened through both pain and difficulty; a confidence that she realized he'd instilled in her.

Drawing back slightly, face pressed against his throat, the next words left her lips not without effort, but they were nowhere near as painful as she might've expected them to be upon entering his room. "I'm not saying no—just... give me some time, okay?" It was a concept that would take some time to adjust to—she still saw him as someone she still needed to _protect_; the sudden change in that perspective by saying yes wasn't something she could accept overnight. She needed some time to get used to the idea—but Lightning already knew what the answer would be, sometime down the road.

_There was never another answer. _

* * *

A distinct buzzing against her shoulder blade jolted her from the heavy fog of sleep; for a moment, it wasn't the vibration against her shoulder that disconcerted her—it was the darkness that she'd been brought from. _No nightmares. _Something of a surprise, Lightning couldn't remember the last time she'd actually slept through the night without some dream trawling through her consciousness; the warmth at her back brought the faint hint of a flush to her neck. _Right._

The angry, insistent vibration of the pager against the wooly fabric of her turtleneck snapped her out of those thoughts; reaching for it, her fingers closed around the cold metal in the darkness. Rubbing her eyes in the darkness, there was no mistaking the urgent signal that it was broadcasting. _Shit! _Body instantly alert, it chased away the last vestiges of sleepiness. Pulling herself up from the top of the covers that she'd fallen asleep on, the motion didn't rouse Hope in any way, shape or form.

Roughly shaking his shoulder, the urgency in her voice made him open his eyes. "Hope," she hissed, "wake up." Halfway across the room by the time he'd pulled himself into a sitting position, Lightning looked up from strapping her gunblade to her belt.

"What's wrong?" Instantly alert, he stared at her from across the room; she couldn't see his expression in the semi-darkness, but there was none of the emotional catharsis that had existed this afternoon now.

Only remembering at the last moment to grab the sword they'd left leaning against a wall on her way out, Lightning waited until they were in the hallway; the metal door had blocked the sounds of the alarm outside—out in the open, it was like the robotic sound was grating against her ears. "Something," she muttered, drawing her weapon in the same motion going down the stairs.

The distant sound of an explosion rocked the floor underneath them; jolted against the metal paneling of the wall, it was a sound that didn't belong and both of them knew it. Shouts issued from somewhere below, echoing up the empty, barren staircase, but there was nothing but static that came from the pager she held tight in her left hand. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to know what the cause for it was—whether it was because the soldier that had initially set off the alarm was no longer alive to respond or whether was because something else was interrupting the transmission, she didn't know. _But whatever it is, it can't be anything good. _

Snow was nowhere to be seen—the big man had left the door to his room wide open; darkness pervaded by the occasional flicker of snowflakes caught in the brewing storm outside was the only thing visible. Her heart leapt to her throat when they passed the strangely-open door to her own room; glass splintered into shards lay littered across the floor of the room; watery light from the storm outside reflected off of them. "What the—" Hope stopped short behind her, eyes widening at the sight before them, he knew its implication before she could open her mouth.

"Light—" The undertone of fear was clear in his quiet voice; gripping his wrist, she stopped him with a shake of her head before he could continue. It was neither the time nor the place for it—fear of what could've happened was muted; shoved to the back of her mind for the moment being before she could allow herself to fully comprehend its meaning.

"Let's go." The quiet command was one he followed; clamping his mouth shut, he mimicked her quick pace down the metal staircase, the sound of combat growing louder as they did so. Hand tightening on her weapon, bullets ripped through a window on the lower landing, sprinkling shards of glass across dark floors. Snarls growing from the darkness that had engulfed the building, it didn't take her long to see what the soldiers were shooting at.

Bloodied fur launched itself at a soldier; fangs sinking into the helmet, it made grooves appear on the soft metal; yells piercing the disquiet, adding to the growing sounds of battle, it wasn't something that was unfamiliar to her. Moving forwards, stumbling slightly over a limp form on the ground, Lightning didn't pause to check whether it was human or not. The heavy, rusted sword still in her left hand was slowing her down; she couldn't get the grip she wanted on her gunblade and it knocked unceremoniously against the ground every few steps—she wasn't tall enough to hold it completely off the ground with her arm in a relaxed position. Giving it to Hope wasn't an option; he needed both arms to defend himself if things came down to it—it wasn't something he could handle and she wasn't going to give anything more of a reason to make him a target.

"They're here!" The shout made her turn around; jerking her head up, white caught the edge of her peripheral vision before it was swallowed by the darkness. The voice was familiar—but she couldn't place it; with so many other things crowding into her consciousness all at once, it didn't leave any room to think about where she'd heard the shout before. Accompanying it were loud screeches; feathers and taloned claws swooped down on them. Lightning had just turned around to swipe at one of them with a gunblade when she caught the dark shadow behind him.

_"Hope!"_

* * *

Struggling to keep up with her, the glass orb tucked safely in the sling he carried gave no indication of power. Reduced to using only his weapon, it didn't seem to matter how many they'd hit. Through the broken glass and the swirling snow outside, gunshots could be seen; bright yellow against the darkness that surrounded them.

Stumbling over an unmoving body, he fought the urge to gag. _Maker... _Instinct told him to bend down and _help_ whoever it was; knowledge that it wasn't the smartest thing to do in their current predicament stopped him. Loud shouts echoed down from the end of the corridor; the loud screech of a feathered Meurite stopped him from hearing it clearly. But Lightning had—the way she jerked up her head almost instantaneously made him sure that it wasn't something good.

He watched her tense; swinging her omega weapon at the last moment, the vertical cut caught one in the wing, severing it. Flecks of blood that weren't her own freckled her cheeks like ink splatters that weren't meant to be there—the motion made her look up and he saw the panicked desperation instantly flood her gaze.

Cold fingers pulled against his throat the moment his name tore from her lips in an anguished cry.

* * *

_"Give me some time, okay?"  
_

_Forehead pressed against his throat, he was afraid to move her in case that would somehow change the words that she'd spoken just moments before. 'I'm not saying no.' Heartbeat thumping erratically, it was like he hadn't heard her properly. Relief washed over him like a warmth that preceded sunlight; the lightness in his limbs couldn't be explained by words alone. Genuine smile starting to tug at the corners of his mouth, he met her gaze equally when she finally looked up.  
_

_Pink bangs framed her face; for a moment, it was like all the pain the yesterdays they'd gone through had never existed—it was a tranquil expression, one that he selfishly wished could be with her for longer—much, much longer—than it actually was. "Don't take too long, okay?"  
_

_She snorted; giving her head a small shake, a faint smile quirked at her lips. "Okay," she agreed; unknown thoughts passed through her expression for the briefest fraction of a moment before it faded. Seconds stretched into minutes—it was awhile before she spoke again. "Hope... you understand, right?"  
_

_He did—that her hesitation was stemmed from things he could already guess; there were things he couldn't change and he could accept that. There were fears and uncertainties he would never be able to assuage and it was something that he was okay with. "So we both have to survive now," he said quietly, once again finding her fingers with his.  
_

_Lightning tilted her gaze up; the intensity in her teal gaze told him she was already there. "Right," she asserted; this close, the darker shadows underneath her eyes were as prominent as ever—she caught what he was thinking before Hope even opened his mouth. "Don't worry about it."  
_

_Unconvinced, he didn't want her to leave, as though time apart would somehow cause her to change her mind. Sunset's red glare had long since been taken from the window; shadows occasionally brightened by a snowflake that managed to catch some aspect of the dim light. "Why don't you stay here?" he suggested lightly; amusement caught his chest in a light grip as he watched surprise flicker through her expression again before she suppressed it. A long moment passed before she opened her mouth to respond.  
_

_"Okay."  
_

_Back to his shoulder, he was unused—but in no way complaining—at the warmth beside him; he sensed it was another increment in the line that they'd been carefully adjusting over the past few months. Relief was mixed with a sort of happiness he couldn't express; a desire to _show her _that he hadn't meant anything as a joke—something that he'd only said because he wanted to. Her even breathing calmed him; soothed the nerves that had been frayed and on edge ever since she'd given him the look of complete and utter shock; it was still something he hardly dared to believe. 'I'm not saying no.' Those words kept repeating themselves quietly in his head; something tangible he could cling to. "Tell me if you need something," he offered quietly. "Sleep well, Light."_

_Her faint smile crossed her lips once again before Lightning closed her eyes._

* * *

**In all fairness, I didn't think of including this last segment until I was about halfway through my work on this chapter today—so at least we can end on somewhat of a happy note? You probably all don't think that way, but I'm a cruel person. *nods***

**Leave some love as always, and like I said last time, I _promise_ it'll be put to good use. Love inspires me to finish earlier, so I'll see if I can't get out Chapter 40 (wow, are we there already?) before Wednesday or so...  
**

**Hearts!  
**


	40. Pain of Yesterday

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!**

***hangs head* I know I promised this yesterday, and I tried - really, really hard. But between the amount of troll-age this chapter presented and real life that got in the way, things didn't happen that way. Forgive me? D: I honestly could've sworn I was trying to give birth to a pumpkin when the middle of this chapter rolled around; I felt like I was being liberated when the ending came along. _Anyways... _  
**

**Much love and thanks go to: Jack Hargreave (yup, outta the fire and into the frying pan. :D), HappyHope (thank you very much - and here it is!), LawMan (weeeeelll, I've been, err... saving that. You'll see. Hopefully soon. ;P), 2 lol (oh yes, that awkward moment. Sure wouldn't have wanted to be Hope just then, that's for sure. Poor kid. *pets him on the head*), GKMader (awkward moment is awkward. Snow sure does get brownie points - not just for the fact that if he _did _meddle, she would've killed him), YuffentineRippalLightHope (thank you _so _much for the compliment; it's stuff like this that totally makes this fic worth writing), Whistlewind Wolf (noooo, I swear! She didn't mean to, in her defence... but... *chews lips* But yeah... like we've established. Awkward. And yes - monster. D:), Lightarcana (awh, thank you so much! And you'll see - soon), That One Reviewee (ahahaha - that analogy is WIN, bro. WIN. And no worries at all, glad to be making people's days; that's what makes writing so rewarding!), H-thar (yup, gotta give this one to Snow this time, he's got tact after all - and LOL, we've already discussed this, but Hope likes his sleep, you know?), and Mylaervain (oh, if I could hand you a hammer, I would have you help Light. Trust me. And yes, intense (and awkward) is totes right. :D). Thank you all _so much_ - really, this fic couldn't have come this far without you all, and the love that it gets really inspires me to keep going! :3  
**

**I've delayed long enough - I know you're all dying to know what happens, so without further ado, I present Chapter 40. Enjoy as always!**

* * *

Chapter 40: Pain of Yesterday

Fighting fruitlessly against the grip against his throat; fingers dug into skin that didn't give to nails scrabbling along its surface—it was getting hard to breathe and it was a battle that had been lost before it had even begun. Breathing in was a war all in its own; feeling like it was a fight that would stretch for the millennia that the world would continue to exist in, the losing battle was only accented by her sharp cry. Syllables of his own name crashing into his ears, Hope resumed the struggle; pulled backwards, stumbling against metal-and-stone stairs he caught the panicked look in her expression before the floor pitched up to meet him.

The world seemed to stand still—every aspect of clarity hung in perfect imperfection; nightmarish reality twined with misleading dreams, their eyes met. Raw emotion in her anguished teal gaze pierced his like the weapon in her hand; the flecks of blood that smeared her cheeks gave her the appearance of someone deadly—something that Hope knew she wasn't far from.

Pressure tight against his throat, it was like someone had taken elastic bands and bound them against his skin; lungs straining for adequate breath, the present crashed down on them like a tidal wave; that moment of _connection _gone—Lightning snapped her eyes up to meet the Meurite that had him in its grips. "Let him go," she rasped; blood stained down the blade of her omega weapon raised to an angle above his head underlined the deadly tone in her voice.

But instead of a response rumbling from the scaly, reptilian body behind him, the hands simply tightened; letting out a quiet choke, the sound seemed to reach her almost immediately. But the fight was a stalemate— she couldn't shoot without endangering his safety and the creature behind him couldn't risk a move without guaranteeing a steel bullet in his head. Gasping for breath, Hope watched that realization cross her expression for the briefest heartbeat; frustration mixed with a panicked anguish, the fingers of her left hand twitched once. He wanted to tell her to watch out; one of the feline silhouettes had leapt onto the fallen body of a soldier; the spurt of scarlet stained the snowflakes blown in from the broken windows a deep crimson; the yell of pain made him want to close his eyes—but his lips wouldn't move: short of breath, trying to draw breath past iron bonds was a feat that was close to impossible.

The moment she tried to move forwards was the moment power exploded between them; energy created out of what he could discern through fading vision as liquid blood; it blocked her way—recoiling as though burnt when her arm grazed it, the sight of the enemy drawing up to her—and the pained yelp that denoted contact made one last surge of strength suddenly pound through his limbs. _Light!_

* * *

Breathing coming in erratic gasps, Lightning tried to dislodge the heavy weight pressed down on her lower back; claws sunk into her skin, it wouldn't be long before the fangs followed. Right arm threatening to give way under both pressure and the throbbing burn stretched up the outer curve of her lower arm, she gritted her teeth. The sound of cloth tearing bringing with it a painful reality check, a brief pause in motion gave her a moment to try and push herself into a standing position—clinging to the stone wall, it wasn't an easy effort. But the Meurite couldn't cling to her forever; startled by the sudden change in position, it pulled them both backwards. Crashing back down onto the ground, it was enough; it allowed her a better position in which she could grip her weapon for a retaliation. Metal sliced through bloody fur; the motion forced the creature to let go of her. Scrambling to her feet, there was no hesitation in the bullet she put through its head; dropping to the ground with a whine, twitching limbs fell still.

Almost doubled over in the effort that it was taking to remain upright, each breath felt like it was being drawn into burning lungs. _Get a grip… get a grip! _Free hand to her chest, it took a moment to regain some aspect of control over her protesting body; in the moment her body forced her to pause, Hope was gone. Cursing her own weakness, stumbling over the limp bodies strewn across the wrecked floor of the hallway, Lightning limped towards the stairs; instinct wanted her to grip the arm that had been burnt by the flash of energy that had appeared out of nowhere—the brilliant red welts that had appeared on the exposed skin stopped her.

Trying to disregard how badly she was shaking, the scorched stone floor offered no purchase on the metal slick with melted snowflakes dyed red. _Where… where'd they go…? _Visibility was poor—Lightning could see maybe fifteen feet around her; smoke and the gathering storm above the city created an almost impermeable darkness that settled over the military encampment like a shroud. The sound of fighting in the hallway she was in had stopped, but no footsteps came her way. Echoing sounds of battle drifting from the metal stairway, magnified by the cold steel, unnerved her—every single foreign sound brought her heartbeat up to her throat and the slow, hunter's pace she was forced to adopt didn't allow for quick movement. _Calm down, _she ordered herself. _They can't have gone far. _

And although Lightning tried to reassure herself of that fact, she couldn't forget that Hope couldn't fight _back _right now—shouting his name into would paint a bullseye on her forehead and she was in no condition to be picking fights she couldn't win. Hooking up the sword that she'd dropped, the tip of it dragged along the ground—picking it up, it was a weight that felt like it was too much for her left arm. _I-I have to find him. _Desperate panic was trying to take over—she pushed it back, knowing that panicking now was possibly the worst thing she could do for herself—and him.

The door to the fire escape had been jammed open; jagged steel caught back and unhinged, it was her only hint at a direction.

Breathing hard, her first tentative steps down the metal steps were unsteady; footsteps echoing painfully against the railings of steel, the monotonous green light that flickered above every landing wasn't something that was comforting. Her hands shook—apprehension clutched at her chest and lungs at every turn that she took; fear had turned the experience inside out—she felt like a rookie fresh out of the academy on her first mission.

And in so many ways, it _was_—never had she felt so _helpless_; she didn't know where they'd taken him; didn't know whether it was supposed to be _bait _for her or something else entirely—all Lightning could be sure of was that she had to find him. It was a concept that had been pounded into the back of her skull in times past—where nothing else mattered but to _find him_ before things grew to be something she could neither contain nor control… before things were too late._ Keep that in mind. _An order given to herself not out of necessity but purely for something _tangible _she could hold onto, it helped clear her head—pushing out everything else but the task she had in front of her was something she could _understand_; the overwhelming emotional drive behind it—and all of the complexities that _that _embodied—wasn't. _Just keep it together—forget about everything that's happened up until now; what good will it do for you if… _

She forced herself to cut off that thought before it could continue. _Don't. _

Snow banks greeted her the moment Lightning set foot on the frosty ground at the foot of the stairs; ankle deep flakes hindered her already-slow movement and it made the limited visibility she had worse. Icy flakes quickly coating her exposed skin, the only good it did her was provide a meagre relief for the burnt flesh stretched down her right arm; she didn't even want to _look _at the angry blisters that decorated it now. The gathering snow made footprints hard to see; melted into a black, tarry substance in places, bullet shells and messy splotches of dark crimson made her want to gag—she didn't want to see the bodies buried underneath the frost.

Crossfire above tore at the flakes drifting downwards; a shout of her title made her turn around. An out of breath soldier catching up to her in the thick snow, the look of surprise was evident on his face. "Lieutenant-Colonel! You're alive," he gasped out.

_I don't have time to waste with you! _She wanted to snap out those words, but inside, Lightning knew the man didn't know what was going on. "Am I not supposed to be?" The words were harsher than she might've intended on a good day—but she didn't have the time to worry about it now.

"N-no," stammered the soldier, hastily snapping into a messy salute, "we were informed you didn't join the other higher ups in Command—they think the Meurites got to you. It's for your safety ma'am; Dr. Carmine has gone missing as well—"

"_What?_" She'd been about to turn away—wholly disinterested in the concept of 'her safety', the last sentence made her muscles freeze. Whipping around, the sudden intensity of her gaze made the man flinch. "What do you mean, he's gone missing?" Outwardly, she was struggling to maintain her composure; inside, the panic was rising. She couldn't forget the thinly-veiled threat he'd spoken to her just the day before; the syllables of that simple sentence suddenly crashing too loudly against the confines of her mind, it took all of her self control to keep herself standing there in the wind to listen.

Startled, he took a step back. "I-I'm not clear on the details, ma'am—I was informed that the squad sent to fetch him down in the labs couldn't find him; there was the sign of a struggle, so—" Catching her start, he stumbled after her. "W-Wait! We were tasked with finding you, ma'am, you have to go—"

"I don't care," Lightning growled out, striding forwards in the deepening snow as she turned, intent on following the sluggish tracks before they vanished completely, "what they told you. You can let whoever ordered you to find me know that _I_ have to find someone—before it's too late. That's an _order_," she snapped, noticing the man falter. _I don't care—I have to find him. _"Or we're not winning this."

Breaking into a hesitant run, she pushed freezing bangs off her face—ice was beginning to form at their ends and the curls that fell down her left shoulder were beginning to become stiff with frost. Orders and consequences couldn't have meant less to her at the moment—and what she'd said was the truth. _We can't win this without… _

Ducking under fire, the chaotic field of battle that was taking place across the main courtyard of the military complex was almost immaterial—weaving behind the soldiers who were desperately trying to hold the line behind hastily set up barricades, it didn't look like a battle that would be won without sacrifice. Scarlet splashed through the pristine snow that lay unbroken in places; nightmarish images painted with crimson.

She had no idea how much of a head start the Meurite had had on her; the effort it had taken to _win_, as distracted as she had been in that one fight, combined with the effort it was taking her now—to follow, had slowed her down. _Please, Maker—let me be on time. _It felt almost _foolish_ to hope that way; luck was never on their side when they needed it and she knew it.

Footsteps crunching through solid ice now, they broke through the softer snow underneath; the frozen layer of crystals doing nothing to hide the sound of her footsteps—the trail that she'd been following had long been erased by the steady storm, but she no longer needed that. The corporal had given her exactly what she needed to know; handle of the rusted sword heavy in her hands, her suspicions were confirmed when Lightning rounded the corner to the back of the complex—the sound of combat was fainter here; carried only by the wind, the soft _plop_s of snow falling from branches was audible.

The steel-blue door to the back of the facility was open; the white words _no entry _visible in the eerie gloom. Faint dawn was beginning to touch a bluish hue to the tops of the trees; morning could not be far off though the snow wasn't letting up. Ash grey flakes—and in her mind, tinted with crimson—drifting lazily from the coal skies, the dull green landing light of the back entry illuminated the dimness of the hallway beyond it. The emergency lights down the hallway had flickered on; gold against black, they lit the ground every few feet; stepping out of the falling snow, the sound of damp clothing melting, tiny droplets hitting the ground every time she moved in the relative warmth of the facility made her wince.

Squeaking footsteps against the smooth linoleum of the landing made Lightning want to curse herself. Unable to maintain a pace faster than a brisk walk, the shallow wounds on her lower back made anything faster a feat she was incapable of. Red lighting pointed the way down to the research facility—her mind creating the mental map for her, she tried to think back to the only other time she'd been here. Body adopting something automatic, it allowed her mind to wander. _Stop,_ she chastised herself; thinking would only get her distracted and right now, distraction was the last thing she needed.

"_So we both have to survive now." _The memory made its way into her mind as she took the stairs downwards—fighting to free herself from what those quiet words had brought up, she wanted it to steel the resolve she was clinging to at the moment. Her own response to that one statement made her want to cringe. _"Right." _And at the time, it hadn't seemed impossible—right now, it couldn't have seemed further from the truth.

A loud screech, not far away, suddenly knifed through the metal corridors; magnified by the walls, by the time the sound had crashed into her eardrums, it sounded a hundred times louder than it probably had been. Fear spiking almost instantaneously at the sound, Lightning broke into a run, ignoring the protests of her body. Closed steel doors flicked by her vision; barred and locked, there was no sign of any living presence, human or not. Faint light came from the floor below as she rounded the corner to take the next flight of stairs; the sight at the foot of them made her come to a complete stop, heart lurching painfully in fear.

Stumbling down the rigid metal steps, a strangled cry was torn from her lips as she almost fell down the last few. The imbalance of those precarious steps forcing her to her knees, her hands came to rest against his shoulders; shaking him as though the motion would push away whatever was closing around her chest, her forehead came to rest against his upper arm. "Hope," she begged, voice reduced to a choked whisper, "wake up…" _Wake up! _

Pale bruises stretched down his neck, the skin there was already beginning to swell; the disfiguration to his throat was clear even in the dimness of their surroundings. Faint movement underneath her arms made her look up; fingers gripped hers in a weak grasp when he met her gaze—the sudden desperation in them made her freeze. "Light…" His voice a hoarse rasp, she wanted to tell him to stop speaking—the syllables barely made it past the bruised skin of his throat; his next words made her freeze. "You have to go…" _What?_

The sentence had only just left his lips before dry heat hit them both, washing over them like a wave; the same energy that had separated them before cut off the way back up the stairs, dark red flickering ominously in the gloom. The sudden tight seize of her fingers made her look back again. "Light," he tried again, coughing when the one-syllable name was caught in whatever damage the Meurite's grip had done to his throat, "you shouldn't have come…"

"Bullshit," she hissed quietly, pulling his arm across her shoulders, she pulled him to a standing position beside her; the effort of that simple motion made her knees want to buckle again—her vision swayed before settling. "That's not—"

Hope cut her off, the quiet rasp to his voice stopping her when she tried to move forward. "You don't get it… they _wanted _you to come, that's why…"

Turning her head back, she stared at him. "Hope, who's _they_? What're you—"

But Lightning didn't get to finish her sentence; deadly thunder filtered through the space that they'd been standing in scarcely a heartbeat later; throwing herself forwards, both of them hit the ground in her attempt to push them both out of harm's way; landing on her elbows and forearms, a hiss was torn from her lips when the burnt flesh was pressed to the rough ground. Chin to his shoulder, she could feel his heavy gasps for breath as she struggled to get back up onto her knees; the weight of the rusted weapon still somehow clutched tightly in her left hand slowed her down. _Who—_

Brilliant light flickered on barely twenty feet away from her; illuminated by the dull light the fire spell created, her mind recognized the figure standing there before her body did. _You—_ But as weakened as her body was, Lightning couldn't have possibly made herself react before he made it over to them, a barely subdued smirk curling the corner of the scientist's lips. "You should have run when he told you to," he murmured, a musing tone to his voice.

Up close, she barely recognized the man anymore—features twisted into some form of insanity, the flash of metal on the back of his left hand didn't escape her notice. Inside, she knew what it was—her mind wouldn't let her feel surprised at the sight; the deadly power that had just barely missed them both was tantamount to how potent it was. "It feels nice to care about someone, doesn't it?" Taking a step closer to her, she stopped whatever Hope was trying to say by pressing their conjoined fingers into the ground. "So nice that you'd come all the way down here by yourself to find him? Your pride will get the better of you someday—you didn't even think about taking backup with you, did you?"

Lightning found herself gritting her back teeth; somewhere, in the back of her mind, she knew how serious the situation in front of them was. Both of them injured, in no shape to run, or to even _think _of some form of escape without serious consequences, she was rooted to the spot as he drew closer, footsteps ominously silent against the metal tiling. The only thing she _could _do was cling to the weapon pinned under her free hand, and if things came down to it, shield him with as much of her own body as she could—it was an idea that Hope had shot down a long time ago, but right now, it was the only thing her muddled mind could wrap itself around.

But instead of attacking, Carmine knelt down until he was on both their eye levels, faint amusement rising in those steel-grey eyes. "Both of you would have made such fine specimens—think of the power you would have had at your fingertips!" Waving the metal fitted onto the back of his palm in front of her, the pieces were slowly beginning to come together in a heart-wrenching way that threatened to turn her stomach inside out. "But no—you decided to refuse my generous offer; even went so far as to outright _deny _me. Is that any way to treat someone who's been trying to help you this entire time?"

Swallowing her disgust, Lightning made an attempt to stand up; a groan of effort forced her back down. "'_Help'?"_ she growled, frustration at her inability to stand fueling words that sounded stronger than how she felt right now—her instinct were telling her to fight back, only to be reigned in by the soldier inside, knowing it was a fight she couldn't possibly win. "What kind of 'help' did you give us?"

The man got up abruptly, turning his back on them in anger. Hope shifted beside her; out of the corner of her eye, Lightning saw him slowly pull himself into a position from which it would be easier to get up in; down on one knee, his fingers were steady underneath her trembling ones—she tightened her grip. _Keep it together, _she ordered herself. _He's just a threat; Farron, you've been taught how to make it out of 'impossible' situations; concentrate on what you have to do, not what could go wrong. Don't consider any alternatives—forget the pain; it'll only take over if you let it get to you. _

_You have to do this. _

The fingers of her right hand fingered behind for her omega weapon; snugly holstered, it would be a challenge to close her fingers around its handle without his notice. She nudged the rusted blade aside with her boot; Hope's fingers travelled across the rough metal tiling to close it in his hand. He met her gaze with his for the fraction of a heartbeat.

"What kind of help did I give you?" the researcher hissed, pacing back and forth across the lab. "Let's think now, shall we? Didn't I give you the initial information you needed? I shared everything I knew with you—in hopes you'd return that favour. And did you?" he suddenly lashed. "No, you didn't. No one did. That's why—"

Her fingers had closed around the handle of her weapon.

Lightning didn't need to hear anymore—the suspicions that she'd been harbouring the entire time crashing down around her head like a waterfall, she _knew. _She didn't need him to finish; the bitter tone in his voice and everything that had happened to them up until now fit together like the nails that held a deadly net in place. "So you sold us out," she snarled back, "_you _planned this."

The same smirk pulling at the corners of his lips, he turned to face them fully. "And she finally figures it out. I was wondering when you would finally pick up on it, _Lieutenant-Colonel_, " placing heavy emphasis on the title, "since you seem to catch on so quickly to everything else. Have you figured out that I planned everything else? That little side trip to the mountainside? Granted, I didn't expect you to run off on me halfway through—but that doesn't matter, does it? You still found what I wanted you to find—even made my job easier. But see," lowering his voice, he moved towards them, left hand raised, "even then, I hadn't given up on you. It was only when the two of you were so _insistent _on me giving back what I'd taken that, well… should I say, I gave it up as a lost cause?"

_Keep him talking_. That was what her mind—the part of her mind that was still somehow miraculously _thinking_—told her; she needed to keep him distracted enough to slide her weapon into a position in which she could get a decent shot from; however much power he was forcibly pulling away from his body, Carmine was still human. _One shot. That's all I need. _

Shifting her weight slightly so that she was on one knee as well, the sound of metal against metal in her attempt to pull her omega weapon forwards made her wince. But Carmine didn't seem to have noticed—whether it was because he hadn't heard it, or whether because he simply didn't judge it to be a threat in any way, she didn't know. The latter of the two possibilities she came up with unnerved her; it was a concept that was almost overwhelming in its implication.

_Don't think about what could go wrong. _

Slowly sliding the weapon to her inch by painful inch, she twisted the handle of the gunblade into a firm grasp the moment the man stopped talking. In the same moment she raised it to shoulder height, trained on his forehead, the scientist raised his left arm in a motion to bring down the power the metal on the back of his hand channelled.

She fired.

* * *

Dust made her cough involuntarily; trying to clear her lungs of the choking particulates, Lightning raised her head; snow fell in gentle flakes, touched to a silvery brightness by the coming dawn from the hole in the roof—blackened with scorch lines like a flower, drifts of snow had fallen in, piling on the scrap metal and rubble that remained of the underground research facility.

Shaking her head, getting to her hands and knees wasn't an easy task—her elbows insisted on shaking no matter how many mental reprimands she gave herself and they threatened to collapse the moment she put weight on them. The amount of effort it took to sit back on one knee made the blood rush from her head—closing her eyes, Lightning willed herself to stop feeling weak. _You're supposed to be a professional; stop acting like a grunt. _

Opening them after what felt like an adequate amount of time to get a grip on her new surroundings, sudden panic seized her thoughts once her head cleared enough for her to think. Warmth wasn't far away; shaking his shoulder, fear didn't have time to sink its deadly fangs into her heart before green eyes met hers. A fresh bruise was scraped down his left cheek to add to the earlier discolourations left on his throat; Hope opened his mouth to say something only to have her shush him.

Shakily getting up, what'd happened wasn't easy to forget.

The sound of the yell of pure rage still ringing in her ears, she spotted the gleaming handle of the omega weapon lying under rubble; limping over to pick it up, she wiped the dust off the black metal only to feel him rest his hands on her shoulders from behind. Warmth seeped into her skin at the contact; allowing herself to relax slightly, grey dawn touched the space that the misdirected spell had blasted into the ceiling, giving a sense of peace when she knew there was none. "We're okay," she breathed quietly—the relief of those words hadn't quite sunk into her consciousness when the grip around her from behind tightened slightly.

She'd only barely turned around when the sound of footsteps in the distance rapidly grew louder; muscles tensing almost instantly, she didn't even think about reprimanding him when Hope rasped a question by her ear—sliding her weapon up into shoulder height, she nearly fired when the sound of approach stopped suddenly.

"H-_hey_, Sis, hold your fire, it's me!" Arms up above his head in a gesture of innocence, Snow crashed into the rubble-strewn room, nearly stumbling over a particularly large block. Taking a silent cue, Hope took several steps back from her as the soldiers—who were clearly not as eager to charge into the action as the burly blond had been—crept down the metal stairs after the fighter, lowering their guns at the scene before them.

Grinning as he hopped over the stone and metal that littered the ground, to Lightning's surprise, the flippant expression on his face was back. _So I know he's ridiculously optimistic about everything… but what could he be possibly happy at _now_? _That was the only thought her numbed mind would allow her to process at the moment being; everything else still seemed to be overshadowed by what'd happened—they were fears that would come back to haunt her in a weaker moment. "You'll never guess what happened, Sis," he began, brushing off some of the snowflakes that had landed on his shoulder. Seeing her expression, he laughed again, the sound echoing off empty, lifeless walls. "Trust me, it's good."

* * *

_Carmine moved the moment the projectile left the end of her omega weapon; trying to duck out of range, the bullet pierced the arm he had been trying to cast with the moment raw power gathered in his palm. A cry of rage tearing from his lips at the moment of contact, the bolt of deadly energy that left his hand was directed by pain, not reason._

_Electricity seemed to filter through the air, static crackling on the smallest impulse; out of sheer instinct, her crouch was shifted over, shielding his upper body with her own. Rubble rained down on them, slicing the tiniest cuts on exposed skin as the greenish glow offered by the run-down lighting flickered red for an emergency. Metal scraped against stone to form sparks—it was impossible to tell if the man was still trying to aim for them or not. _

_Time seemed to hang from eternity itself—it seemed decades before the aftershocks of whatever damage had been done to the underground facility had stopped, cold wind rushing into take place of the silence that had settled. Wanting to push herself up, suddenly, hands were at her hair, tugging her head back to expose her neck._

_Fighting the strong grip, the fingers that brushed her throat were brittle. "So this is your idea of victory, isn't it? You're going to go back, and tell them all I was the traitor?" Yanked forwards by the rough grasp, her elbow brushed something cold and sharp. He let go of her long enough to nudge away the weapon with his foot; fingers closed around the blistered, burnt skin stretched down her forearm—the contact made her hiss. _

_Bloodshot eyes met her own aquamarine gaze—dark shadows, so similar to her own, greeted her. "Well?" he demanded. "Are you?" His free hand came up to reach for her face; twisting in his grasp, she fought free of the hand that held her smaller ones, the fingers of her left going for the knife still looped into her belt. _

_The tip of the curved blade glinted in the red light given off by the emergency lighting, the sharp, serrated edge seemed to stop him. He laughed at her; not strong enough to stand, just like her, he raised his left hand again, fingers stretched out towards her._

_Lightning felt her body freeze—there was no way she could win against whatever he was conjuring in his hand with only her survival knife and the soldier inside knew that. There was no time to back away… but she didn't need to. The man's eyes suddenly bulged; he moved his right hand up to his throat as though to check his pulse—and suddenly, she knew what was going to happen the tiniest fraction of a heartbeat before it did._

* * *

Sitting on the remains of a barricade, the sensation of a snowflake landing and melting on the tip of her nose made Lightning open closing eyes; fighting sleep and exhaustion, the sensation of cold concrete wasn't enough to keep that at bay. Someone draped something over her shoulders; scratchy and woolly, she knew it was a field blanket before she even turned around. "Are you cold?" came the quiet, hoarse question. Sitting down beside her, Hope's eyes were fixed on the long burn down her forearm. "You should get that looked at," he said quietly; a cough interrupted the end of the short sentence.

"I could be telling you the same thing," she murmured. Turning her head slightly, she caught the sheepish grin that tugged at the corner of his mouth before it elicited the ghost of a smile from her own. The fingers of her left hand found his of their own accord as she stared out across the smouldering rubble that disrupted the field of whiteness; indistinct silhouettes in the short distance away were obscured by the still-falling flakes.

"So you know them, huh?" he asked quietly, finally breaking the silence.

Lightning flicked him a glance before replying, a sigh escaping her lips. "Something like that. I didn't expect them to turn up now… at any rate." She paused for a heartbeat. _How do I explain?_

"But it's a good thing," Hope offered, the small smile still visible. "Right?" He caught the expression on her face before she even voiced it; his hand tugged at hers. "You still don't trust them, do you?"

Briefly, she wondered if the fact was just so obvious, or that he knew her too well. _But for some reason, if it's the latter… I—I don't mind. At least, not as much as I should've. _"Well, no," she admitted quietly, looking down. "It's hard to look at them… and _not_ think of an enemy, you know?"

A quiet hum came from his throat; glancing up curiously, Hope was staring at the grey sky dotted with the specks of icy white. "I'm not saying I disagree with you… but it's hard not to trust someone when they've just saved your lives."

The barely-audible gasp was torn from her lips before Lightning could control it; pain and memories hit her in the chest like a physical blow—the words were so familiar, so incredibly _similar, _that she couldn't disassociate the past from the present. "What?" he asked immediately, the tug at her wrist insistent. "What is it?"

Shaking her head once, pushing damp pink bangs out of her face with her free hand, she took a breath before replying, willing herself to stay calm. "Nothing," she insisted quietly. "It's just… one of them said that to me before." _Almost the exact same thing. _

If Hope picked up something behind her sudden reaction to the sentence she knew he only meant to reassure her by, he didn't voice it. Perhaps he sensed that it was something else tied to her past—and if he knew, then she only had the Maker to thank for the fact that he had enough tact not to push her for answers. "So what's wrong?" he finally voiced; the hoarseness to his voice plucking at the emotions that had been unconsciously dredged up by the memory. "You seem… distracted."

_I owe it to him to be honest. _That was what her heart told her—and somewhere inside, Lightning knew that part of her was right. It was a fear she'd never really let go of; something she hadn't wanted to burden him with, but recent conversations had brought up memories that she had done her best to push to the back of her mind. _I did it with Serah—and look at how things turned out. I can't… let it happen again. _"The way he died," she finally confessed, pulling her left hand away from him to twist them into fists on her lap. The sudden understanding in his viridian gaze told her Hope knew exactly who '_he_' was. "I just…" _I can't stop thinking about it—how we all could've died, if we bought into that stuff… and how close we _were_ to dying like that._

* * *

_Limbs twisted, it was like she was staring at the body of the mutant Cie'th they'd encountered in the southern reaches of Gran Pulse. Skin swollen beyond recognition, the dark reddish bruises of internal bruising made her want to throw up. Burying her head against her forearm, the limp fingers were lifeless against the metal and rubble of the icy ground._

_Words wormed their way into her head. "__There is no way that that difference can be made up through viable means."_

* * *

"Stop thinking about it," he begged her; hands reaching for hers, he trapped them underneath his own—it didn't stop the fine trembling that took over whenever she was reminded of that image and Lightning knew he knew that. "It didn't happen… okay?"

She couldn't stop the words this time. "But it _could've_. What do you think he would've done, if we didn't fight him? Hope—"

He cut her off before she could continue. "Stop. You're doing it again," he said, using the grip that he had her hands pinned under for emphasis. "It didn't happen… so don't go there, Light, okay?"

Closing her eyes, Lightning tried to take the words to heart—she knew what he meant, and for his sake, if not for her own, she had to try. It was something that had taken him long months to instill in her; something that she still wasn't sure she could ever _stop _doing. _But he's right. On some level… I know that I can't keep blaming myself for everything that's happened… and everything that could've happened. It's a stupid way to keep going and that's only one of the things I've promised. _"Okay," she finally agreed, meeting his gaze tentatively with her own.

His emerald gaze held their own intensity. "We'll make it," he murmured. "For sure."

* * *

***takes deep breath* Honestly, I have a feeling this chapter could've come out better than it did, but that's up to you guys and not me, right? Haha - it's now _really_ late at night and though I did comb through this for technical grammar and spelling errors, I probably missed a few along the way, this thing was 12 pages long on MS Word. So if you noticed one, let me know?**

**That being said - leave some love if you're so inclined; if anything wasn't clear in regards to the ending, I swear I have an explanation for it next chapter: I just really wanted to end it on a Hoperai note. Serious things are about to happen, and I need to spend some time to _make_ serious things happen as they should, so please forgive me if it takes me till sometime next week to get out the next chapter. (I'm thinking _Monday _- but then again... *droops*)  
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**Hearts!  
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	41. Operation Black Storm

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**Oh goodness... this chapter is late beyond late, mainly due to three reasons. One: midterms—the bane of every university student on the surface of this planet. I've been studying my little head off since _last _Sunday and I wrote my last one on Friday, so the majority of this chapter has come since then. Two: the _League of Legends_ World Championships happened this last week, so naturally, I invested most of my free time watching those. And last but definitely not least, _LadyAlaska _and I met in person—that particular moment involved lots of glomping and squealing, and HxL fangirling for hours. Definitely very enjoyable and was definitely the inspiration for the last half of this chapter. 8D  
**

**_Anyways_, facets of my life aside, much love and thanks to: 2 lol (oh yes, he's been sketchy for ages—and you'll soon see about that 'parting gift'), Jack Hargreave (thank goodness—though I didn't really intend for things to go horribly in that particular scene), H-thar (eeeeeeeevil mastermind had to get thwarted eventually, though I _really_ wanted to take your suggestion and have Hope spear him, though that wouldn't have worked out. *droops*), GKMader (okay, yeah, that's why I told myself never to write at 12 am anymore, hahaha! And awh, I wish. I really do.), That One Reviewee (nope, he's dead and gone. And ahahahaha, maybe. Just _maaaybe_ I'll pull one of those. Soon.), LawMan (Moments of peace are rare delicacies in my stories. When they happen I drop bombs on Light. Yup yup. But unfortunately...), and Mylaervain (oh yes—he was trouble the moment he showed up on her doorstep.) Thank you all again (for the patience and otherwise)—I could never have gotten this far without you all!  
**

**That being said, once again, I apologize for the lateness of this. *hangs head* So since it's been such a long time, I'll just go ahead with my usual enjoy as always!**

* * *

Chapter 41: Operation Black Storm

_T-Minus 320_

Wind tugged at stray strands of pastel hair; bringing errant snowflakes with it, the icy breeze pushed past her, rippling out over the broken surface of the grey lake. Pine boughs bent with frost dipped against the lapping waves—the broken, erratic rhythm it created was in no way comforting. Perched on one knee on a cliff overlooking the distilled surface, Lightning gripped the edges of the rough stone with both hands, cerulean gaze set on the small island in the distance. Her fingers were beginning to grow numb with cold, but she refused to give into it, her attention drawn elsewhere. _This is it. _

She hadn't realized she'd said those particular words out loud until the cracking of knuckles behind her caught her attention—Snow was leaning against a tree; arms crossed over his chest, there wasn't the slightest hint of fear in his flippant expression. "Finally. Time to finish this thing, yeah?" Scratching the back of his bandanna, he stared out past her, eyes also set on the tiny speck in the distance. "We're gonna do this, Sis. Don't worry about it."

But Snow's optimistic words didn't assuage the growing fears in her chest as the days had ticked closer—strategies that had been worked and reworked ran themselves through her head; each of them was just as dangerous as their alternatives, and at the end of the day, she knew there would have be to sacrifices. _I just hope they're not going to be ones that're going to cost me the most. _It was a selfish thought, to be sure, but she couldn't help it. _I can't lose someone else. _

Shuffling footsteps drew close to her; a hand brushed a feather-light touch on her shoulder. "We'll make it." The same promise from two weeks before, spoken with the same quiet, affirmed tone as she lifted her gaze to meet his. Aggravated blue met tranquil emerald.

_I'll just have to believe that. Because, after all, what else do I have to believe in?_

* * *

"_Let's talk strategy. I understand the need to rush, but the truth of the matter is that we can't pinpoint movements and spare enough of an attacking force to launch an all-out offensive while trying to hold our strongholds. I know we have backup and that our new allies are trying to convince their kind to, ah, come to peaceable terms, but we can't rush in there unprepared." Sitting across the table from her in one of the conference rooms, the general rested his chin on his hands to meet the gazes trained on him._

_Unfazed, Lightning met the gaze equally, trying to study what was going on behind the composed expression. She wanted to argue—the longer they waited, the more Meurites would be born—but it wasn't her place; discipline suppressed the urge to speak out. The fingers of her left hand toyed with the smooth glass orb under her palm; the warmth that the sphere inertly possessed calmed her a little—it soothed the aggravated nerves frayed on end. Honey-brown eyes rested on her. "I understand, Lieutenant-Colonel, that you and your friends have the orbs. The three of you will be held back—at least, until we determine it is safe for you to proceed. You are essential to this operation—there's no need for any of you to be injured before we absolutely need you. We'll do our best to clear you a path," he continued, "but in the circumstance that that's not possible, you may have to do some fighting beforehand."_

_That was something she could accept. "Yes Sir." Fingers of her right hand slowly curling into a fist, the thought of the fight that would no doubt ensue long before they set foot on Granend made her stomach churn—the thought of walking into that as targets wasn't something that she wanted to envision on a good day. _

"_Good." With a nod of assent, the general turned to his other officers; quiet orders issued out were copied on paper, but she was no longer paying attention. Images and memories had taken forefront in her mind; new determination instilled by something that had been strengthened through pain and trail created a fiery burn somewhere deep inside. That was counteracted by what she knew could go wrong, but Lightning tried to stop those thoughts before they fully materialized. _

"_Don't think about what could've happened." The quiet order repeated itself in her mind—she clung to those words like a lifeline; it was a concept she could try to rationalize without letting it consume her. _

_Finally liberated from the strategic meeting called only days after the aftermath of the latest attack, the snow was still drifting down from the grey skies. It had lost the scarlet sheen that it had adopted the night of the attack, but the image wouldn't escape her. Just like how she could never look at ice and stone the same way, the crystalline flakes would never be the same way either. A flake had just landed on her palm as she childishly raised a hand to catch one, idly wondering how something so innocent looking could be tainted by just a few hours of hellish events when a quiet crunch of footsteps on snowdrifts behind her caught her attention. "Hope."_

"_Looking at the snow?" came the quiet question; he came to stand beside her, staring upwards. "That's not like you, Light." _

"_No," she agreed, "but dragging you off to war doesn't seem like you either." _

_He chuckled lightly before turning his head to look at her. "No. And when I was a kid, I never thought I'd be involved in something like this. But it's okay," he offered. "We're fighting for a future we wanted, so… I don't mind." _

_Briefly, Lightning wondered if the words he'd spoken were the absolute truth—she couldn't forget the argument they'd had nor the differences that they'd futilely tried to settle only to realize that they couldn't; that they could only understand and accept that there were things they would never see eye to eye to. But she wasn't going to question him; it was a quiet tone that reassured her that he was okay with it—whatever grievances he might've indeed had, she could respect the fact there were things he didn't need to tell her either. "So long as you're sure," she murmured, watching the snowflake melt on the blue leather of her glove._

* * *

"You still sure about this?" she asked quietly, looking away to set her gaze on the grey isle. For some reason, Lightning didn't want to look at his reaction; maybe she was afraid of the demure fear that she somehow knew would still linger in the depths of his expression, but whatever it was… _I know I'll feel more reassured if I'm not looking at him. _

"I won't change my mind," he assured her quietly. "We've been in this situation twice already… feels almost like déjà vu." The comment earned Hope a hearty laugh from Snow, who guffawed before clapping him on the back.

"Good choice of words. I approve," the blond brawler grinned, the smile widening at her distasteful expression. "Better step down there; gotta make sure I've got a good view of what's going on over there, you know?" With that, Snow disappeared down the snow-grazed trail that led to the overhanging cliff, the swish of the blue scarf lost in the gloom provided by the winter day.

Getting to her feet, a sudden twist of nerves made her feel strangely apprehensive. The words were something she'd carried with her for a long time, but three weeks of sitting and staring at the snowflakes fall since she'd processed them last hadn't changed a thing and Lightning knew it. It was about time she was honest with things—nothing was going to change and those three weeks, if possible, had only magnified the situation for what it was. "Wait." Catching his arm as Hope made to follow the big blond, she stopped him just as he was about to step past the gnarled pine tree that marked the top of the path.

It was something that she had had difficulty accepting; she still saw him as someone vulnerable that _she _needed to protect—admitting it would put them roughly somewhere on the same level, and it wasn't something that she wasn't sure she could swallow easily. But when things had come down to it, he _had_ been taking care of her; it was a fact she couldn't deny and if the past months had taught her anything at all, it was that there were things that she would always have difficulty accepting. _But that's not what matters. How I deal with it is what matters. _Curious green eyes met hers; trepidation seized her fingers in a heartbeat as he paused by the trunk, leaning against it waiting for her to speak.

Closing her eyes, the stiff breeze pushed bangs across her face, the ends of her hair brushing roughly against her skin. _Maker, please tell me I'm not going to fuck up. _When she didn't speak for several long heartbeats, Hope tilted his head to one side. "What?"

"Hope," she started again, trying to take a calming breath and hating herself when it didn't do anything for her. "Remember… what you asked me?"

It took him a few moments to catch up to her thoughts; pained surprise crossed his face when he realized what she was talking about. Demure nervousness seemed to seize him too; he rested a hand against the rough bark of the pine tree, fingers curling towards his palm. "Y-Yeah?"

_How do I even start? _Bewildered and flustered from the moment she'd initiated the conversation, Lightning almost wished she hadn't. It didn't feel right to admit how she felt—it was never something that she'd had to do before; this was completely new territory that she was wandering down. _Why is this so hard? For once in my life, I'm scared of messing up. _Drawing in another breath, she looked sideways, trying to find something else to focus on when internally, she knew there was none. "This sounds stupid," she mumbled, "coming from someone like me, but…" _Maker. _"There was never another answer, okay?"

Hope stared at her for a moment; the almost anguished puzzlement in his expression made her feel sure that she'd said something wrong. _What did I do this time? _"W-What?" And in retrospect, his reaction should've made her want to laugh—it was her exact reaction the moment he'd dropped that particular bomb on her. But the soldier inside was taking over to cover the embarrassment and the faint flush that had crept up her neck at her previous words.

"You heard me."

In heartbeats, he'd closed the distance between them, hands on her shoulders. "Y-You mean it?" The surprised wonder in his voice made her want to smile; the vulnerability that hovered between those syllables made her want to somehow bury them. _That_ wasn't something she had difficulty accepting anymore—it was something that had laid dormant underneath the layers of icy rigidity that she'd shielded herself in; having that all ripped away in one brutal blow had brought out more than just the fragility inside she hated so much. _It was something I thought I'd have to give up—it's taken me all this time to realize what I was _really _giving up. _

A soft snort left her lips as she met his gaze. "Would I lie about something like this?" It wasn't a moment later that Lightning realized how true those words were—on some level, everything that they'd had was staked on how she'd said those words; she _hadn't _been lying. "That's why we have to make it, okay? This is something I'm holding _you _up to." The words were said with a light tone behind them; she couldn't belittle the seriousness of what still lay in front of them—but she couldn't let the fear take over now.

_We've always had something to lose. And it was only when I really lost something did I realize how little I really wanted to show I cared about the people that I loved. I swore I'd never make that mistake again—but it's taken me so long to finally be able to realize that. _Somewhere inside, there would always be the thorn of pain that would never really go away; reminders that would never stop repeating themselves, but she had to move on. There was her past—something she would never forget—but it was like what everyone had tried to tell her: she had a future.

Her forehead had bowed forwards without even her realizing it; resting against his chin, ghosting contact was smooth down her arms. She could hear Hope's breathing—calm and controlled, it was something for her to try and emulate. "You're sure, right?" The quiet, playful quality to his voice drew out a faint quirk to the corner of her lips. "I mean… this isn't some joke, is it?"

Fingers finding purchase on the fabric of the overcoat he was wearing, arms slipped around her waist. "No." Lightning found that there was no hesitation in that one syllable sentence—there had never been any _real _doubt in her mind; nearly a month of thinking through it—consciously or not—hadn't changed what she knew was the truth. "I mean it." _And I do—there was never another answer and thinking about it for the rest of my life won't change what I want to believe in. _

Caught in the embrace, it was a brief time-out from reality; one that would be over soon. Time wasn't on their side and neither was anything else—it was a realization that escaped neither of them. _But for once in my life, I want to be selfish. I shouldn't be advocating this, but I want to. _It was a sentiment that stemmed from the guilt and pain she'd been trying to bury—something she would never completely succeed at, but it was also something she never would've come as far as she had without the person standing in front of her. _And I have to acknowledge that. _In something between them that had been trialled and strengthened over time, Lightning could admit that he'd won her over completely; there was no one else she _trusted_ like that and she knew it.

After a moment of hesitation, he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers.

And in retrospect, she shouldn't have been surprised—it wasn't like it was something she'd never done before, but what she _wasn't _prepared for was how violently her body wanted to react to it. Warmth crept up her spine at the contact; Lightning forced herself to stop. Hope seemed to get the message; this was neither the time nor the place for what they'd been dangerously close to. Hands finding his wrists, she took a half step back, heartbeat still painfully erratic. "Don't forget what's important, okay?" It was a simple enough of a request; he didn't miss the deeper meaning before a small smile pulled at the corners of his lips.

"Got it, Light."

* * *

_T-Minus 270_

Faint flurries of snow drifted down from the steel-grey skies, but the tiny pinpricks of cold had no power over what was inside. Overwhelmed, Hope didn't think anything would _ever_ feel the same way again; he had no idea if he could still speak coherently and the fact that he could feel his heartbeat at his throat didn't help. _S-She… _It wasn't something he could replay in his mind just yet—the quiet words that had occurred between them held an intensity of their own that he wasn't sure he was able to handle just yet.

It wasn't a tenuous sort of happiness that threaded its careful way down his spine; that sort of happiness was ephemeral—it was something he knew would be snatched by something darker sooner or later. But this was different; like she said, it wasn't something that could be changed as easily as saying a word or two and the difference intrigued him. It was _different_, but in no way bad and as Hope followed her down the woodsy, peat trail that led back down to the base camp that had been set up on the rocky beach opposite Granend on the lakeshore, that was what drew him forwards.

It was hard to fight the desire to grin—at the moment, the overwhelmed feelings inside pushed aside all thoughts of whatever lay in front of them, but he knew Lightning didn't think that way; the seriousness in her voice when she'd gently reminded him if he knew what was important—though the words held a completely different meaning now; something she was aware of—was tantamount to that. Feet crunching rocky gravel underneath, Hope nearly bumped into her when Lightning stopped unexpectedly. "Light?"

She shushed him before gently taking his free hand; in the darkness, he didn't think that anyone would've noticed, though the discreet way she did it made him want to smile again. _Some things never change. _"Where are we going?" It wasn't a direction in the camp that he'd been before; ducking behind boulders strewn across the pebbly beach, Hope tried not to look too uncomfortable following her. Few soldiers were wandering around, but that didn't help the fact that he felt sheepish following her to where Command was centered.

"Meeting. We've got about five hours before the operation starts, so one of the strategic planners wanted to talk. Snow's supposed to be there too…" She left it at that, but Hope could tell from the tone of her voice exactly what she was thinking. _She probably thinks he's forgotten about it._ He could admire her ability to go from zero to sixty in the span of a heartbeat—it wasn't twenty minutes ago that he was facing the raw, vulnerable emotion in her aquamarine gaze; the controlled tone of her voice right now told him she had pushed that aside—the discipline had taken over the person he wished he knew better sooner.

The grey flap of the military tent was propped open in the pre-dawn gloom; sticky mist clung to the shoreline as grey waved washed inky black water up in small ripples that caught the occasional snowflake that still drifted down. The sound of their footsteps on the wet gravel brought someone to the inside of the entrance; poking her head out, the aqua locks of someone he didn't recognize greeted them. "Just on time, Lieutenant-Colonel! Come in, come in." Beckoning them with a free hand, Hope ducked under the fabric to follow Lightning into the dimness of the canvas.

Waved into a hard bench set up against one side of the tent, moments ticked by in silence. Shoulders touching, the casual tilt of Lightning's head to the cloth flapping lightly in the wind made it clear who she was listening for. They weren't kept waiting long—the distinctive sound of heavy feet crunching rough gravel grew close after only a few moments; Snow's breathless face poked into the entrance of the tent. "Did I miss something? Sorry I'm late—went to help some guy oil up his Viking, y'know?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Hope saw Lightning purse her lips; disdain was faintly etched across her features, but she made no comment. Wide-eyed, the blue-haired young woman opposite them sat down on her side of the table with a huff, casually sliding quick, flustered glances at Snow, who had taken up a stance just beside the entrance, arms crossed over his chest. A faint smile tugged at the corner of Hope's lips. _Did we really expect more from him? _

"Well," she began finally. "Now that we're all here, I wanted to go over the battle plan one more time." Rummaging behind her, the young woman spoke as she looked. "I wish we had one of those digital maps—would've made things so much easier, but since we're _here_… we'll have to make do with paper. Ah, here we go." Pulling out a somewhat dishevelled looking piece of paper, she spread it flat on the rough wooden surface before them. Leaning in to look, he followed the continual points of her finger. "So I know the Lieutenant-Colonel knows the gist of the battle plan, but I wasn't sure whether she's told you. Here's the rundown just in case. This is the island." Pointing to the diagram drawn into the centre, Hope couldn't help but sneak a glance at Lightning. Expression impassive, he couldn't tell what she was thinking just from her face; her bangs hid the majority of what he could see, though her stance was relaxed and the arm-to-arm contact between them allowed him to gauge the fact that her breathing was light and steady—that was reassuring; she'd skirted around the topic of the battle as much as possible when they were together: whether it was a ploy to dissuade him or simply to keep him from knowing too much, Hope wasn't sure. _But I won't change my mind—she wouldn't allow me to fight by myself and that's a sentiment that's mutual. _

"As you know, we're sending in the majority of the troops first." Bringing him out of his thoughts, Hope tried to refocus his attention on the circles being drawn on the off-white paper. "Hopefully, this will engage most, if not all, of the enemies gathered there. Some of the best troops we have are being sent there, so hopefully this will give us some leeway. We've got a couple of Megrim Threshers in case things get nasty—but the problem with those things is that friendly fire's a huge risk. Now," interlacing her hands and resting her chin on them, hazel eyes fixed on them. "You're scheduled to go in at 90 minutes—we've been told you've got, uhm, 'special powers'. Afraid I'm not an expert on that, but it's safe to assume that you'll be able to help with some of the clearing of the battlefield?"

"You bet." Cracking his knuckles, Snow drummed thick, gloved fingers on a beefy arm, grinning. "Count on it."

Nervous giggle escaping the young woman's lips, she laughed a little. "Alright. So I'm going to assume you know what you're doing then—I've been informed that there's something involving a sword and a couple of orbs for closing the gate to the Unseen Realm, so I won't pry too deeply into that."

"Right." The quiet word came from his right—the first thing Lightning had said the entire time, she had the back of her hand resting against her mouth; a posture he recognized. _She's thinking… but, about what? _But whatever it was, she didn't voice it—whether it was a detail she hadn't quiet revealed just yet to him, or whether it was because she didn't agree with the young strategist, Hope couldn't tell.

Letting out a sigh, the aqua-haired woman traced absent-minded circles on the paper before her. "I just wish this was easier on all us strategists—Dr. Carmine deleted all his notes and research prior to his death; we thought his lab was burned by our enemies because it contained too much information, turns out he incinerated his work himself. Those notes would've helped _immensely_, I won't lie about that; he was deeply involved in his study of the Meurites and knowing their weaknesses would've helped build a strategy that didn't rely on surprise and sheer _luck_ much more easily." Shaking back turquoise locks and sticking her pen through the resultant bun, the woman got up. "Well, just wanted to make sure we all knew the plan—there're details that even _I _don't know, but I suppose you've got some method worked out. We've all got our fingers crossed for this, so we'll have to hope for the best. That reminds me," she suddenly quipped, completely missing the way Lightning's expression tightened, which Hope had seen out of the corner of his eye; something he wasn't sure whether was a good thing or not, "I've been meaning to ask you something." Lowering her voice, as though afraid of listeners, she leaned forward a little. "It's the real reason I asked you to come—how… just how powerful are the things you're going to be using?"

Hope swallowed thickly when he saw Lightning's gaze narrow; it was a look he knew quite well and though he couldn't tell what she was thinking, it wasn't an expression he could mentally categorize as not even _remotely_ 'friendly'. She'd tensed beside him; the muscle underneath her smooth skin taunt under the contact between their arms and from behind her back he saw the fingers of her hand creep towards her weapon.

It was Snow that spoke before either of them could open their mouths. "Why's that important?" Less suspicious than Lightning had perhaps been, and certainly less conspicuous, the blond brawler's ocean blue gaze was trained on the paper spread before them.

Oblivious to the slight—but detectable—change in atmosphere, the young woman began with a click of her pen. "Well, it would give me a bit more peace of mind to know that we aren't sending troops into impossible odds. You're probably going to be the heaviest hitters we have out there; I'd feel a little better if I knew that we had _some_ sort of support for them." Tone lowering, there was a pang of sincerity in her voice that Hope found hard to doubt. _I've wondered the same thing—just how many people are going to die today? _It was a question he didn't want to know the answer to and the candidness of the query seemed to have struck Snow as well. He didn't dare look at Lightning; she hadn't relaxed beside him and the forced control of her breathing made him sure that there was something about those words that had brought up something inside.

"We'll do our best," he mumbled quietly—there was nothing else to say and the young strategist in front of them seemed to realize that.

She raised her hazel gaze to meet his; the concern in them surprised him. _She's not going to be fighting—she's going to be in Command, watching the rest of us. But still, she's worried about the soldiers who _are_ going in. _It was a fear they all shared; he didn't blame her. "That's all I need to know."

Startled by the abrupt way Lightning stood up, he nearly stumbled following her; the crunch of gravel underfoot and the stiff winter breeze that pushed the bank of fog up the stony beach was a chilly reminder to what lay in front of them. Flashing him a knowing look, Hope took the silent hint from Snow—chasing after her was a difficult task on a good day and today was no exception; they were far from the encampment that had sprawled across the beachhead in a fortnight in a matter of minutes. Droplets clung to the skin on his cheeks, though he didn't feel cold at all.

Finding her standing at the very edge of the beach, cold water washing rhythmically only a few inches in front of her, Hope wasn't sure whether to approach her or not. He couldn't see her expression, and it bewildered him, the way she reacted the way she had. _What happened? _It had sounded like a perfectly normal conversation to him, though clearly she hadn't thought so—her reaction made him feel more nervous than he already was and it worried him.

But if Hope was concerned over the fear that she might ignore him for wandering cautiously closer, he didn't have to be. "Sorry," came the quiet mutter of apology the moment she sensed his approach. Lightning didn't offer anything else—closing her lips, expression kept carefully impassive, her teal gaze was fixed on the incoming ripples of grey waves at her feet.

Standing beside her, small flurries came to melt on exposed skin; to his surprise, after a few very long moments of unbroken silence, she rested her head on his shoulder. "Sorry," she apologized again, the lowered tone barely audible over the sound of incoming water. "I didn't mean to run off on you."

Carefully shifting his weight, Hope tried to pick his words carefully; there was still a delicate line when it came to her mentality and he didn't want to cross it, accidentally or not—it was a long way down. "So what's wrong? It's not..." _It's not what you've been worried about this whole time, is it? _

A pained sigh escaped her lips; closing her eyes, Hope felt Lightning clench her left hand in a fist. "No," she asserted quietly. "It's not." She took a breath, drawing it in slowly before tilting her head up towards the grey, pre-dawn sky. "It's just... we have to win. Like she said, we have to win. And I promised myself... I'd protect you, or die trying." She didn't even flinch at the grip he closed around her wrist; cutting off his protests before he could even open his mouth, she swept on. "It's stupid. And it's stupid _because_ I know what we promised. But I just... I can't lose someone else again." The bitter pain in her tone wasn't something new, but there was a hint of desperation behind it that he'd never heard before. "I... I'd rather _die_ than lose someone else."

The truth in her voice scared him; he had no power over the intensity in the depths of her aquamarine gaze and the slight shake to her hands only went to prove how _much _they'd affected her. No matter how much they'd tried to reassure her—there was no sign of the hint of determined confidence he'd seen in her gaze earlier—something always came and tore it back down. Unsure of what to do, but painfully aware that he had to do _something_, the first motion was one out of instinct.

Taking her smaller hands in his, Hope tried to pry her slender fingers out of their fists; surprised relief washed over him when he realized she wasn't trying to stop him. Taking a step closer to her, she looked up towards him just as he did so; foreheads touching for a brief moment, he found himself looking at anguished, aggravated blue eyes before Lightning looked away. "Don't." _I don't want you dying for me—that's the last thing I _do _want. _The simple word was something of a command—he desperately wanted the tranquil serenity that had been in her cerulean gaze only a short while ago back and that didn't look like it was happening anytime soon.

Whether or not she heard him wasn't immediately obvious—it was like she'd become a statue carved of ice. Utterly unmoving, Hope closed the distance between them, trying to give her some form of calm to focus on. Exaggerating slow, even breaths, it was something he hoped she could begin to imitate; waiting for her heartbeat to slow down seemed to be something that stretched on—a faded memory that spanned decades. Forehead against his throat, both of them were beginning to shiver in the spiking wind when he caught it. "Okay."

* * *

_T-Minus 30_

Troops spanned the rocky beachhead, milling around while waiting for the transports that would take them both by water and air across the short expanse of dark grey water that lapped around the isle of Granend. Blazing signals cut through the lingering fog and the falling snow—visibility would be as poor as they would let it be. Perched at the very back of the wall of troops, her omega weapon was clutched tightly in one hand. A gesture of comfort rather than one of necessity, it gave her something to focus on and it provided enough of a distraction to keep her mind off everything that had plagued it since she'd woken up that morning.

Frayed emotions on hyperdrive, it was only thanks to Hope that she'd managed to finally push them to the back of her mind; fears and doubts were subdued there for the time being—something she could be grateful for. _I can't think about that now. _Inside, Lightning knew he'd been right—trying to think his way was what was hard. Warmth pressed against her back, that was something else she _could_ let herself dwell on; being absorbed in keeping her mind off the thoughts that wanted to turn her emotions into an inner wasteland, she didn't hear the attendant approach. "Any last minute weapons I can get you?"

Snow cracked his knuckles against a stray boulder. "Nope. Got my hero gloves—that's all I need." Flashing his signature grin, he wiped several stray snowflakes from their leather backs, fiddling with the ice-blue glass sphere in one of them. Shaking her head when the man turned to her, Lightning's fingers found the handle of her omega weapon unconsciously.

She felt Hope shake his head beside her. "Um, no thanks. I've got everything I need."

_Everything you need... huh? I can hope to the Maker that that's true. _

* * *

_T-Minus 5_

"Get the cannons in position—we're going in there _now_!" Shouts threaded through the already chaotic world outside the glass windows of the transport. Snow flurries locked in a mad dance with the sparks that were being given off, the mechanical whining of the Megrim Threshers in the distance could already be heard. Sitting and waiting was aggravating—her hands itched to be doing something; _anything _to rid them of the fine tremble that clung to her fingers—but so was the thought of fighting.

It was funny, because fighting had been the only way she'd known how to continue, and now, with the fight she'd been looking for ominously close, Lightning wanted to run away from it. _Today's the day I might lose everything. _It was a thought that couldn't overtake the determination to win and that only settled its chilly fingers around her lungs. Trying not to let it take over was a task that took nearly all of her concentration and the longer she sat there, the more difficult it got.

_And we won't even know what's going on. _The inside of the transport offered no decent vision as to what was going on and she could feel someone hand reaching for hers. Whether it was because Hope knew what she was thinking or whether it was because he wanted the reassurance himself, she couldn't tell. Returning the gesture readily, Lightning tried to let it calm her—tried to let the warmth distract her from the fears that wanted to reduce her to little more than how she'd felt four years ago.

Raising her gaze to find a familiar emerald gaze trained on her, the composed expression in them brought back words spoken not long ago. _We'll make it._

* * *

Icy flakes blew in her face as Lightning dropped from the rope hung suspended beneath the metal transport, flicking out the Grav-Con unit with a free hand. Ninety minutes of sitting still hadn't done much for the doubts that had clung to her, but the quiet reassurance had been enough to allow her to push them to the back of her mind. _Hopefully, for good this time. _The soldier inside knew that she couldn't allow them to distract her now; gunfire was already immediately obvious and it was only going to get worse.

Landing on one knee into the bone-white sand of the beach, the unnatural warmth underneath her skin reminded her that this wasn't terrain they were used to. The _crunch_ of grains of sand under pressure announced the arrival of both Hope and Snow; fingers closed gently around her right shoulder for the briefest fraction of a heartbeat. Straightening, visibility was poor—fog still clung to the rocky cliffs that rose high above their heads and the odd combination of snow and heat rising from the stone gave the illusion of heat waves rising.

Casting a glance behind her, Snow had the sword clutched tightly in one hand, tip easily clearing the miniscule white dunes of flaky sand. The resolved composure on Hope's face reassured her a tiny bit more; the intent purposefulness in his viridian gaze instilled her own.

Turning back to the scene in front of them, Lightning drew her omega weapon. "Let's go."

* * *

**Oh geez. I feel like this chapter is as long as I took to write it (which is saying something) so hopefully I didn't bungle it somewhere down the line... I took so much time working—and reworking—the very first scene, so I'm crossing my fingers here that at least I didn't make any fatal mistakes _there. _(And if I did, I will be very sad) I kind of wanted to have that at the very end, just to keep the impact that I at least felt from it, but that wouldn't have made sense. ._.  
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**Anyways, now that all that chaos is over, hopefully the next chapter won't take me nearly as long (and I apologize for the wait once again). Leave some love if you so desire, and I will see you all soon!  
**

**Hearts!  
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	42. Kingdom Await

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**Yay - I wasn't (that) late this time, though real life continues to be as well, what can I say? Got sick this Tuesday so I've been feeling like a slug since then (still nursing those swollen tonsils), but oh well, I can feel happy this chapter is over now. Not gonna lie - didn't have _too _much fun with this chapter as it was more of a lead-up rather than, well, the scene(s) I actually wanted to get to, but you guys are the judge of that and not me, right? Right?  
**

**Anyways. Thanks and love go to Jack Hargreave (no, I'd never scrap this fic, haha! We're closing in. In my roundabout way), Dash Handsom (thank you very much! It's reviews like this that totes make my day - I will try not to disappoint!), LawMan (awh, thanks; I'm fine - just life hasn't been that kind to me as of late. I hope so too - though I admit, I don't go easy on either Hope _or _Light, but hey, I should live if I dish them a happy ending, right? Thank you for the well wishes!), That One Reviewee (Yup, she had to say it, in her _own_ way. Ahahaa, yeah, I play. Sure, I'll add you. Drop me a mail somewhere), GKMader (you got that right hon, just we're not there _quite _yet!), Whistlewind Wolf (oh geez, thanks so much. ._. I make too many typos writing at midnight. And nope, we met over - so I was super stoked to actually meet her! And as for the wedding... ;p Wait and see. :DDD), H-thar (awwwwwwh, I thought you might like that segment, glad to hear I didn't mess up! Yup, there're a few things I have still up my sleeve, though I don't pull them this chapter just yet, and thanks so much for the well wishes! Those are wholeheartedly returned for your "predicament" (ahaha) and your own fic. :3), and Mylaervain (thanks so much - I thought you might. :p And oh _yeah_, that's how she wanted to bring it up!) Thanks once again for the amazing support! c:  
**

**Enjoy as always!**

* * *

Chapter 42: Kingdom Await

Blood locked with snowflakes in mad contortions, disrupting the wind around them. Unruly, cherry coloured curls clinging to the fabric of her left shoulder, the tip of the omega weapon dug into the side of a Meurite, flinging it away from her. They were nowhere _close_ to where they needed to be—bogged down by the sheer amount of enemies that didn't seem to dwindle no matter how many they killed, the bone-white of the sand underfoot was becoming tainted by crimson.

Rock was pelted at her head; ducking, Lightning tried to gauge the distance that they had left. Halfway across the beachhead, the rocky trail that led upwards was barely visible in the weather. It seemed magnified by the enormity of what there was left to reach it; for a moment, she wondered if they were even going to make it.

_Stop. That's _not_ how you're supposed to think and you know it. _

Bringing down the weapon on the first moving thing that leapt at her, their progress was painfully slow. Fighting for each and every inch they wanted to gain, her feet were slipping in the fine sand, unable to find decent purchase on the tiny grains stained with snow. Limbs were already tense; she was fighting to reach a point where there would be space for a small breather—every sense already driven on overdrive, Lightning didn't think she would have the stamina if the battle was already as drawn out as it was. It had already been ninety minutes before they'd been given the go, yet more than half of the open beachhead remained to be taken before they were anywhere near a position to make the mad scramble for the top.

The _swish_ of a sword in midair came from her right; swinging the metal blade they'd received back in the underground lake in his left hand like a baton, Snow didn't look tired at all. "Oh _yeah_! C'mon, is that all you got?" Bringing the handle down on the head of a reptile, the _thunk _of metal on bone was audible from even where she was standing. The big man didn't even hesitate before charging forward again tirelessly, leaving a spray of red-flecked white behind him. The effort it took to follow him wasn't astronomical, but it took more out of her than she thought it would; the _crunch_ of footsteps behind her reassured her that Hope was still there.

_He can't fight just yet. _Subtly reminded the moment they'd landed on the small island, she'd ordered him to keep close to her; there was no way she was taking the risk of letting him wander off on his own again and with barely anything to defend himself before a certain point in the battle, she had to keep an eye on him too. Watching behind them, he'd kept himself out of trouble so far—anything that had come at them with a deadly purpose she'd tried to take care of first. _We just have to hope things stay that way. _

Pushing forwards another few feet, the line of enemies were thinning; the initial resistance had been thick and now that the few Megrim Threshers they did own were rolling upwards onto the smooth sand, it cut down weaker waves much more easily. Still, the sight of limp bodies caught in various contortions of death didn't shake her feelings of apprehensive unease and she could sense Hope's too; almost infectious in a way, Lightning knew she couldn't let it take over now. _We've got something to finish. So stop acting weak—it won't help you and you know it. _

Slashing with her own weapon, the few enemies that she did take out felt like droplets in the ocean, there were so many more and they weren't going to make it if they kept going at this rate. Raising her head, the distance between them and the rocky cliff didn't seem to be shrinking and though she commanded her mind to stop messing with her, it did anyways. "We'll make it."

The words dropped from teeth gritted in the effort it took to keep going; a laugh of assent came from somewhere up ahead. "You bet we will." Punching aside something she couldn't see properly in the disorientating weather in one fluid motion, Snow flashed a brief thumbs up back in her direction. "Count on it, alright?"

His confidence was impossible to share; the task felt enormous and Lightning knew they were only scraping at the tip of the iceberg—who they'd been waiting for had yet to show up and _that _wasn't going to be an easy fight, help or no help aside. "Light!" A shadow loomed over her; rolling to one side, obeying the instinct that commanded her to, she turned on the enemy the moment she got her foothold back on the sand. The bullet barely grazed its skin; in the chaos around them, it was like everything had come to a stop; caught between dire heartbeats, clarity flooded every aspect of her senses.

The creature stood between her and Hope—if she missed, she would hit _him. _If she didn't attack, it would close on one of them sooner or later and she could not—_could not_—let that be Hope.

Moving, obeying the hunter's instinct that told her to act before her enemy could analyze her movements further, Lightning closed the distance between them; the serrated edge of her omega weapon met two sets of claws—metal scraped against cartilage and bone, and once again, the sheer _strength _of the Meurite caught her off guard. _I can't win… by brute force!_ The realization was hinged on the heels of another; he could just as easily push her off balance—the only advantage she had was speed and when her bullets didn't penetrate his skin, it was going to be difficult to drive home that advantage. Somewhere inside, she wanted to yell at Hope to run; the soldier sensed squashed that, knowing that the moment she drew attention to it, the creature in front of her would know to target him.

Something bumped against the back of her thigh; cold and sharp, it took a desperate heartbeat for her to remember what it was. The curved edge of her survival knife was belted against the holster of her weapon. _How am I supposed to get it? _She couldn't take her hands off the handle of her weapon to keep her enemy occupied.

The Meurite reacted before she did. Lunging forward with inhuman speed, the contact between them was torn apart; something heavy and solid collided with the side of her neck. Using the momentum to push herself backwards, the briefest imbalance in both their positions allowed her to rip the small knife from where she'd hidden it. There was no time to aim properly—he reacted quicker than she did and from her half kneeling position Lightning could only hope she'd anticipated his speed enough.

The sudden thump surprised her; scrambling shakily to her feet, she met tentative, scared green eyes within heartbeats. Taking the hand he offered her, her gaze caught the still form on the sand a few feet away, the hilt of the weapon protruding from just below its shoulder blades. Lightning almost expected a rebuke from him—it hadn't taken her long to fight to kill and she knew he knew it.

It didn't come, though, as she moved forwards to pick up the weapon, stomach unexpectedly twisting at the sight of scarlet smeared down its silver blade. "Are you okay?"

Still somewhat breathless, her left hand came up to brush against where she'd gotten hit. The pounding underneath her skin assured her there would be bruising at some later point, but it wasn't anything serious. "I'm fine. But—"

She'd barely gotten those three words out of her mouth before a snarl came from the gloom up ahead; straining her eyes to see, the chaos around them made it difficult. She had no idea what was after them and Lightning was painfully aware of how much they would stand out. _Where is it? _Muscles tense, she could hear Hope's rapid breathing to one side—he'd sensed it too, the strained stance he was taking beside her told her he knew that.

Cautiously moving forwards, adopting a steady tread that wholly pressed her feet silently into the soft sand, she was unprepared for the moment thick fingers were brought down barely an inch in front of her face; stumbling back, rotting wood splintered under grey-skinned flesh, a deafening shriek grinded into her eardrums the moment she tried to retaliate.

Frozen for a few heartbeats, the sound locked her muscles into place—trying to move her hands up to cover her ears was a task that proved impossible. "_Light!_" The sound of her name couldn't make her move and the shakes that rocked the sand underfoot told her that the Cie'th was drawing closer; jagged claws glinted in the half-light and though she couldn't move, Lightning could imagine those talons digging into her skin; she had no means to defend herself and though some feeling in her limbs was beginning to return, there was no way in hell she would make it out of the way in time to avoid serious injury. She wanted to squeeze her eyes shut; the paralysis didn't allow that as the single-eyes glare of the Cie'th in question became visible in the gloom.

Footsteps behind her barely registered—she was supposed to be looking after _him _until the right moment and Hope had less of any means to defend himself than she did. Lightning wanted to tell him to run, only that there were the problems that she _couldn't_ and the fact that she knew he wouldn't listen to her even if she could.

Black thunder filtered through the clinging gloom; at first, she couldn't turn her head to see its source—only when most of the feeling had returned to her limbs did Lightning wrench herself away from the spot where she'd been held, eyes travelling behind her to see a silhouette cantering towards her. Sparks erupted from the ground at every step; a shrill whinny knifed the air, drowning out for a heartbeat all other sounds of battle.

Taking the hand offered to her the moment the golden steed drew close, she hauled herself up on the back of the horse-like summon, fingers finding immediate purchase in the smooth muscle that rolled underneath warm, sinewy skin. "Thanks," she offered quietly, slightly out of breath, as the creature picked up speed, easily dropping enemies with the power it channelled from its twisted horn.

"You're okay, right?" Slipping one arm around his waist, Hope gently turned it towards the rocky path that led upwards; slipping through the throngs of soldiers fighting Meurites, the few enemies that did give chase were quickly dispatched. Slipping slightly once the horse reached the uneven trail, Lightning was forced to hold onto him tighter as she felt herself slipping backwards. Fire spells rained down on their heads almost immediately; there was no way for her to aim decently back—even if she had her own magic, the continuous jolting of the summon underneath her made directing anything hard and she would only be doing more harm than good.

A groan of frustration slipped from Hope just ahead; trying to cling to the steed's neck as it dived upwards, hooves clacking on the slippery stone, trying to avoid the fire that was being rained down around them. _We've avoided getting hit so far—but our luck can't last forever and it's only a matter of time before _something_ gets hit. _"Can you hit them?" she rasped out, covering her head with one hand as a fire slipped over them.

Hope shook his head; trying to maintain his grip, the thunder spell only managed to graze the side of one far above them, the rock beside it taking the brunt of the spell. Frustration took away the edge of the initial apprehension that had seized her. _How're we supposed to fight back? _The short answer was that they _couldn't_, not at the moment, and it only made her remember how much they had to lose on this one battle.

_We have to make it. _

Trying to help the steed underneath them move faster, she glanced back up again. The up and down motion of the horse as it tried to gallop its way up the steep path made it near impossible to aim; her dominant arm moved with its movements, and though she could see the silhouettes of the enemies overhead, it was a difficult angle to aim at even standing on steady ground. Lightning had been about to open her mouth to voice the suggestion of a brief pause when an explosion rocked the ground beneath them, chasing away all such sentiments.

* * *

Thrown off the back of his summon, Hope landed on the ground, scraping his palms and knees in the process. Wet rock ground against exposed skin; dirt and sand clung to raw scrapes as he tried to stagger to his feet. A shrill whinny faded almost instantly—the golden warmth of the horse-like creature faded to a condensed static kept near his weapon.

A shoulder bumped against his; he glanced upwards to find familiar, aggravated blue eyes. "You okay?" she rasped; pulling him up, the omega weapon was already at her side. A dirty red was looped around her wrist, the thin trickle of blood visible against one exposed elbow.

"Y-Yeah," he panted, following her gaze upwards. Hope could only thank the Maker that they'd had their one stroke of fortune to have been thrown off underneath a small overhang; it wasn't a position that could allow the Meurites above to continue firing spells down at them and the brief break was something that felt almost priceless at the moment. Nerves and senses strained to the point of overdrive, it was becoming something of a small effort to stop them from conjoining with the deep-rooted emotion inside. _I knew I said I wanted to come—but… _ He didn't think he could stand losing someone else and the empty crevice that the latest attack had caused was too familiar to the broken walkway back at the Hanging Edge for his comfort. "Now what?"

Lightning narrowed her eyes—he wished he could understand better the intensity in them right now; he hated being a burden and he knew that for the first half of what'd happened down at the beach, he had been. "We have to get rid of them before we go up," she hissed quietly; the look in her eyes told him she knew it wouldn't be easy.

Nodding, he followed her automatically as she crept along the edge of the rock, back pressed against the rough stone. There wasn't any foliage to hide behind, but Hope saw what she was going for perhaps fifteen seconds later; a large boulder caught just beyond the deep crack that had formed in the narrow passageway up. It probably wasn't much in terms of real protection, but it was better than nothing and it would be a better angle for them to aim from. _But the problem is, how're we going to get over that without being noticed? _He knew the Meurites knew their general location—it wasn't hard to notice a large, galloping equine—but from the fluctuating aim of the fireballs coming down, they didn't know _exactly _where they were.

Tugging on her wrist, she shot him a questioning look. "Do you have something in mind already?" he asked quietly; fear cracked his voice a little more than Hope would've liked—a brief shadow seizing her gaze for a moment, he saw her swallow it, the fingers of her right hand tightening on the weapon by her side.

"We jump. It's the only option." Carefully turning her gaze away, the effort she was employing to keep her voice flat was obvious. "Can you make it?"

His hand found hers of its own accord. "I have to, don't I?" Lightning risked a grim smile, a soft snort coming from the back of her throat. Stumbling forwards again, he mimicked her crouch at the very edge of the crevice blasted into the stone; water roiled underneath it, the spray of foam not too far below them: he tried not to look down.

Still partially hidden underneath the stone overhand, they hadn't been spotted yet, but it wouldn't be long before one of the Meurites turned around to notice them; backs to the clifftop, they wouldn't be able to outrun the fire and going back was no longer an option. _We've gotta make it. _

Lightning jumped first, lithe form easily clearing the two feet in height difference that the split in the rock presented. Fingers closing on damp rock, the back of her boot scraped against the very edge of the stone, sending small pebbles clattering down. Not daring to look up in fear of what he might see, Hope swallowed, unsure if he would be able to emulate her movements. "Come on," came the quiet murmur of encouragement; clinging fog had swallowed the details of her features though the red cape still stood out amongst the shades of grey that surrounded them.

_I have to do this. _

Fingers reaching up to grip the very edge of the higher ledge, hands seized his wrists the moment she realized what he was doing; using her strength to haul him up, they balanced precariously at the very edge of the newly-created split for a few heartbeats. Trying not to dislodge any more rocks, the loud clatter of stone-on-stone grated painfully against his eardrums; her command to run barely moments later didn't surprise him.

Keeping his eyes fixed on the scarlet cloth that streamed out behind her, Hope pushed himself forwards. Limbs overtaxed already, breaths caught erratically in his throat. Flame grazed one shoulder only to be quickly suppressed by the automatic caress of a healing spell from somewhere inside. The sound of shots ringing startled him for a moment before he remembered that she would obviously be trying to shoot back; how she could still see in the mist that was growing thicker as they gained altitude was beyond him.

Making it behind the boulder, Hope tried to help her—gathering the inner strength in one palm still felt foreign, though the purpose behind it quashed the unease he felt from using it. _Concentrate. You can't use magic without really meaning to_. There wasn't much distance between them—he couldn't cast spells without thinking of their side effects; he had to _direct_ the range that power and he had to know what it would do _before _it hit. _I have to do this. _

Fire blasted apart stone and rock; yowls filled the air as he unconsciously rocked back on his knees; fear of doing something wrong seized him before a hand closed on the back of his collar. "Let's go!"

Dragged upwards, Hope tried to stumble after her as Lightning started for the top; unable to stop himself from looking behind him, the power of the firaga he'd just cast was painfully obvious. Every bit as potent as the fire that had cracked the stone trail apart, the ledge above them had been demolished; burn marks stretched across damp stone like a scorched flower as rock tumbled down in errant cascades, bringing down with it screeches that knifed the air like a blade. _What—_

"There's no time for that, okay?" It was a command phrased as a question—_that _was evident in the tone of her voice and Hope forced himself to continue, clinging to her words like a lifeline. _We didn't have any other choice; it was something we had to do and you know it. _

Waves of heat began to beat restlessly against him; unease crept like spiders up his skin. He knew where they were getting close to and the sickening sensation hadn't improved. Ribbons of odd heat contorted the fog in different places and the snowflakes seemed to have been locked in a state of weightlessness: never touching the ground, but never staying still.

Rock and stone shifted ever so slightly underfoot as Hope struggled to keep his balance on the top of the cliff that they'd just been aiming for minutes ago. Stopped by an arm as he tried to move forwards, he almost missed the quiet hiss. "Stop." The controlled tightness in Lightning's voice released a wave of anxiety and he desperately wanted to ask her what was wrong—it was a tone of voice his mind automatically associated with her when things _weren't _okay; the tenseness to her body language stopped him. Squinting through the clinging fog, painful fingers seized his heart when he realized what she was looking at—the reptilian silhouette was all too familiar as it locked gazes with him.

"You made it," came the quiet mutter; subdued triumph was all too evident and it made him want to cling to her, afraid that she would do something rash. Half expecting her to reply, icy fingers gripped his throat when Hope realized that the hand stopping him was shaking slightly, the fine tremble to her slim fingers just visible in their proximity. _No… not now… _There was nothing he could do to _stop _it—he remembered all too well what had happened the last time there'd been an actual conversation between them and it wasn't something that could be allowed to happen now. _Light, please… don't. _

Tugging at her wrist in an attempt to communicate that to her wordlessly, it didn't help. Her expression had gone rigid in an attempt to control it and Hope wanted desperately to snap her out of it. Too focussed on trying to ease whatever had taken control of her so easily, he almost missed the wave of power that swept towards them.

With barely a moment's notice, there wasn't a way for him to counter it; throwing his weight sideways in an attempt to push both of them out of harm's way, the radiating strength from the attack caught them both anyways. Dots flared in his vision for a few agonizing heartbeats before movement beside him caught his attention. Gravel crunched underneath footsteps as something drew closer; the scuffle of movement beside him was a blur of white and red as Lightning scrambled to her feet.

Relief flooded him the moment Hope realized that if the attack had done them any good, it'd allowed her some degree of control again; the aggravation hadn't quite made its way out of her gaze, but the hand that held the omega weapon was steady.

Pushing himself up, he'd curled the fingers of his left hand into a fist as she raised the weapon to shoulder height. "You want to fight here? But you haven't even stopped the source of the problem." Gaze following a long, multi-jointed finger, the red and black waves of energy pulsating from far below them was visible even from where they stood. "Neither of you have the weapon you need to stop it—what can you possibly do?"

"Defeat _you_," came the quiet snarl beside him. The last syllable of her sentence was caught in a hitch despite the emphasis she placed on the word and Hope fought down another wave of concern.

There was a short laugh only a few feet away. "Without stopping that, that's not possible. But since you—" The Meurite didn't get to finish his sentence before the snap of leathery wings interrupted them; the shriek came from above their heads as the tawny dragon swept over them.

"Someone called for a miracle?" Atop the back of the reptilian summon, the blade of the sword glinted oddly in the half-light; feeling her tense beside him, Hope flicked his gaze back towards their enemy for a heartbeat. Intensity seized its gaze the moment he closed his hand around her wrist again—he could sense the power gathering in the Meurite's hand once again and he wanted to drag her away from it, not wanting to see what happened last time repeat itself.

"Light—"

Hope didn't get to finish his sentence before things happened too quickly for him to be sure of what had really happened. Power exploded in a concentrated burst from the reptilian figure only a few feet away; the backlash of it powerful enough to send them both stumbling back a few steps. And in almost the exact same heartbeat, the hilt of the sword above them caught his eye before it left Snow's hand with a purpose. "Snow, no—" Lightning's cry was cut off by a piercing shriek from the scaly dragon as it plummeted towards the ground, the same moment the Meurite lifted itself into free flight in a desperate attempt to seize the weapon.

Missing the sword by a few feet, Hope swiveled his head around just in time to catch the glint of the rusted blade bury itself into the pulsating core that none of them had been able to get close to the first time they'd been here. And for a moment, time seemed to hang still, suspended from eternity itself—hung between two heartbeats.

Nothing happened for those two heartbeats, before crystal exploded from the core of the island, blue and white engulfing his vision as reverberating heat seemed to thread effortlessly through his entire body.

* * *

**So I deliberately left it there - this was most definitely _the _shortest chapter I've done in quite awhile. I didn't want to take it further - all _that _flows nicely with the next part planned, which may or may not be split for length once again so I think this leads nicely to it. **

**Anyways, I _swear _all things that haven't been explained _will _be explained shortly as we approach the "final battle" (though it might not be epic in the way you'd expect a final battle to be... haha), so leave some love, pretty please, and I'll see you all soon (hopefully - as I try to make this as epic and as HxL as you can ever imagine. Oh yes. Did I mention there's no way in hell Hope's letting Light fight this one by herself this time? No? Well, let's make that clear right now so I can feel better about myself when this takes me longer than planned, though I'm super excited to start on it this weekend).**

**Hearts!  
**


	43. Connections

**So hey, my lovelies, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of Revenant Wings!  
**

***takes deep breath* Wow. This chapter took me a _long_ time, and it wasn't even the length of it (though at over 10,000 words, it is _definitely _the singular longest chapter I've written. Ever.) - I tried so, _so _hard to get them right and I can only really hope I didn't make some fatal mistake somewhere down the line *droops* So I'm sorry for the wait, and hopefully this chapter will do those scene(s) justice!  
**

**That being said, there will be no closing A/N to this chapter - but rest assured, this fic isn't over _just _yet - my estimation is around 2 more chapters or so, so we'll end off with an even 45 chapters. *has OCD with nice numbers*  
**

**Much love goes to Mylaervain (no worries at all hon, and well, we'll have to see about Snow. ^^;;), SlowActingPoison (thank you so much - and to be honest, I don't know. Somewhere, I suppose - it'll have to be put in _somehow_), LawMan (ahahahahahaha... soon. I swear.), That One Reviewee (oh, you'll have to wait and see about that one. :P I already promised it's a happy ending - see, I'm a firm believer in happy endings, though tearjerking chapters are needed to get there, imo) Dash Handsom (RIGHT. As Light would say - but I don't want to answer that question just yet because, because... I have to get there.), YuffentineRippalLightHope (cliffhangers are my speciality - but I swear the length of this chapter makes up for it!), H-thar (Yay - glad to make your day. :D Hopefully I answer your questions in this chapter, and if I bungled it somewhere down the line... let me know? D: Glorious HxL moments were glorious to write, hopefully that'll hold the same for you when you read it!), and GKMader (b-because... it's not all blood and gore... it's, well, I'll stop before I spoil things. But thanks for the well wishes - and yay, I'm better now, so, so... you all get this as a present. *shot*). Thank you all so much again and I'll try not to disappoint in this chapter!  
**

**So with all that said, leave some love if your hearts desire by the end of this (crazy and emotional and oh god I hope I didn't screw up) ride and I hope that y'all will enjoy!**

* * *

_Nothing can compete with the utter awesomeness of "A Little Pain"—Olivia, for this chapter. But for the record, several songs were played over and over while in the process of writing this: "Find the Way"—Mika Nakashima, "Trust You"—Yuna Ito, "Eyes on Me"—Superfly, "Saigo no Kajitsu"—Maaya Sakamoto (_major _props to you if you know who this is :p)._

Chapter 43: Connections

Cool water lapped gently at her skin; delicate and rhythmic, it lulled her mind into a sense of relaxation as soft raindrops peppered exposed skin. Though the surface she was lying on was rough, the water that pooled around her body eased that particular discomfort. And for a moment, just a moment, Lightning was content to lie in that state of half-awareness.

There was no other sound from her surroundings other than the sound of her own breathing; here, she could feel _safe_—something that hadn't been a word she'd allowed herself to say, even in her own mind, for a very long time. Not just safe: here, it was like everything could be washed away by the continuous rolling of gentle waves—that everything would be _okay. _It was a concept she never would've allowed herself to acknowledge because she _knew_ it wasn't true, but she didn't want to doubt herself like that anymore. Just like trying to push away pain that clung to the edges of her consciousness, she wanted to let go of it.

And it was that, precisely, that drove her body from the daze it had been in—because it was impossible. _I'll… never forget. No matter what. _It was something she knew to be the whole truth; no matter what might've happened, no matter what might've come to be, she would never forget. _But… _Blinking open her aquamarine eyes, the sense of illusory comfort provided by the gentle roiling of those waves vanished in the sight before her. Slowly pushing herself onto her knees, Lightning raised her head, damp rain plastering pink hair to her temples. Clothes dripping wet, it was something of an effort to push herself to one knee; blinking blankness and dots out of her vision proved to be a task that took too much out of her for her own liking.

Her heart froze when she finally registered the sight before her; the landscape was all too familiar and it sent chilling chains of what had to be pure ice down her spine, locking limbs into place. A million shades of grey locked together to form somewhere were light and darkness could exist on an equal plane; pooling brightness coexisting with shrouding shadows. Broken buildings and temples scattered their wastes across the dismal land; grey—and yet clear—water lapped at their demolished surroundings underneath a marbled sky in which only small amounts of watery light was able to penetrate.

_This is… _

Not wanting to acknowledge it wouldn't help her; she had no control over her emotions and her heart somehow knew that the one person who did wasn't here. _Hope… Hope, where are you? _No familiar silhouette caught her gaze and no matter how hard she tried to look she knew she wouldn't find him. _Where… where'd you go? _Somehow, she knew that they'd been together before—so where was he now? She couldn't make sense of that and it evaded her, melding almost perfectly with the shifting light of her surroundings—never the same for consecutive seconds.

Trying to stand, the soldier inside knowing that she should be trying to figure out where she was, something else flashed by her peripheral vision. The black-and-white blade of her omega weapon jutting from a large, jagged piece of broken rock, Lightning commanded herself to go to get it. Standing proved something of a task that was astronomical; the blank dizziness wouldn't leave her vision and the rough stumble that was all she could muster created splashes that were loud enough to be painful. Clothes clinging to her slender form like a second skin, the red cloth of her cape was plastered to the back of the thigh by the time she made it to the rock.

Hands went down onto the rough surface the moment she reached her goal; breathing hard, erratic heartbeats tried to get the best of her. Clear beads of rain dotted the length of the gunblade and wiping them did her no good; droplets gathered on the smooth metal the moment her fingers left their contact.

Phantom digits snaked their way around her waist, holding her there. And for a moment—one foolishly _vulnerable_ moment, she _wanted _to believe it was Hope. But the fingers were brittle and strong and it wasn't a gesture of comfort; fighting did her no good when all she could do was struggle uselessly. Formless hands that she had no power over held hers in an unbreakable grip, dragging a cry of frustration from her lips. Collapsing forwards, the hold on her was broken almost instantaneously. Her hands were the only thing stopping her from fully hitting the ground again, but even that wad futile—there wasn't any strength left in them and it was a fact that she knew her pursuer knew.

The omega weapon clenched tight in her right hand was useless; those hands had been shapeless and even if she had had the strength to fight, there would've been nothing _for _her to fight. Metal didn't hurt something that didn't have a body.

But if she expected pursuit, she was wrong. Lying on her side, water slowly seeped through whatever it hadn't wet the first time; cherry coloured curls left to fan out slowly from where they were twisted over her shoulder—for a moment, Lightning considered giving up.

_I don't know where I am; this is a fight I can't win, and… I don't know where… _She couldn't even _think_ his name to herself anymore—whatever fight she'd had left had been taken by the fact that she knew he wasn't here. It hadn't been something that had struck cold fear into her chest upon first thought, but the more she thought about it, the more terrifying it became. She _didn't _know where he was—Hope could've been anywhere and she wouldn't have the strength to find him.

Her heart told her told her to keep going—if she'd ended up here, he couldn't have been far away, but her mind told her that was foolish hope and she knew it. _I'm desperate… and I know that too. _One brutal implication back at the clifftop had ripped away the shreds of confidence she'd tried to cling to—staring at her enemy reminded her why he was there and what he'd said last time… enough to bring down whatever determination she'd allowed herself to rebuild since they'd last met. No matter what had happened, she couldn't change her past and she couldn't change the fact that she couldn't let go of it.

"That's right… I…" The faint words left lungs held in tight grips; her fingers wouldn't stop trembling and she hoped that those weren't tears burning the back of her throat. _I… _Somewhere inside, she knew she should've kept going; there was no reason _not_ to and only her inner wasteland held her in place.

Attempting to push herself to her feet, the emptiness of her surroundings told her, once again, that he wasn't here. _I don't even know… how I know. But he's not… _Fear made her believe she'd failed him again; let someone else she cared about slip through her fingers because she wasn't strong enough. Memories commanded her to stop thinking that way—that there was _no _way Hope would've given up so easily, nor would he have gone back on what they'd promised just like that—but she couldn't help it. If he wasn't here, she didn't want to know—or even think about—where he was. _I didn't… _

Sluggish steps threatened to trip her every few paces; slow, even footfalls in the wrong places meant she would go crashing to her knees once again and Lightning wasn't sure if she had the strength to get up a third time. Clinging to the last vestiges of the quiet exchange, the words kept repeating themselves in her mind. _I promise. _The two words had seemed so simple, and at the time, she could admit she wanted to believe them—it was something she could hold onto and through what had been trialled and strengthened by what they'd gone through, it was something she could accept. _But…_

"Don't go any further. What you're looking for… is right here."

* * *

Waking up to the sound of water, for a moment, Hope was confused. The only source of water that had been hear them had been the lake, and the clifftop they'd been fighting on was nowhere close for them to hear it. But there _was_ the sound of waves, and he didn't think the sensation of light rain peppering his skin was a figment of his imagination. Opening his eyes to a storm cloud torn sky that allowed for some amount of light to pierce through its thick cover, his surroundings were unfamiliar. Apart from the sound of his breathing and the sound of the rain and water, it was silent. There was no crystal to speak of—the rock underneath his back was rough and worn and it definitely wasn't the warmth he would've expected had he still been on that clifftop.

But the landscape around him told him that this wasn't it—that this was _far_ from where he should've been and those thoughts only served to chain into other ones. It took him a few heartbeats to realize that the only sound of breathing was his own. _Light! _A quick glance around once he'd rocked back onto his knees gave no sign of her distinctive pink hair and that only served to fuel his aggravation—she'd been _right beside him_ when the outward pulsation of energy had forced them both to their knees and there was no reason for her to be far away from him.

Unknown fears clutched at his chest for a moment before he shoved them away—there was no way she would've given up so easily and the quiet assertion in her voice only hours before had made him sure that she meant the words they'd been spoken in. _She's gotta be here. Somewhere._

_The question is… where _is _here? _

It wasn't a landscape he recognized and trawling through his memories, Hope didn't think he'd ever heard of somewhere like this either. Light and darkness seemed to contrast equally—almost as though they could exist on the same plane, and the shifting, watery shades of grey accented by the alternating sunlight and clouds didn't give much in the way of vision. Perpetual rain falling from the skies above, the soft drizzle was in no way cold—something he wouldn't have expected for a world caught in the deepest embrace of winter.

A quick check told him he still had everything he had upon arriving at the island—the flash of bright blue caught his gaze some feet away. Splashing through the ankle-deep water to reach it, apprehension seized his heart when he recognized what it was. Ice cold, the blue orb that held the dragon Snow had tamed back in southern Gran Pulse was wedged between the crack of a broken rock. Distinctly, he remembered hearing the reptilian summon's screech before his world had been obliterated in a column of light and heat, but… _How'd it end up here? _He still had his own, tucked away with the teal scarf that hung at his side, but things didn't make sense—there was no way Snow would've abandoned it and just like Lightning, there was no sign of the blond brawler in sight. But what he _didn't _see was the red sphere that housed the soul of the fiery phoenix; _that _made him sure she was here… somewhere.

Trying to think through what had happened, he tried to play the events in his mind on reverse. _Snow threw the sword… The Meurite tried catching it, but he missed… so it hit... But what happened afterwards? _He honestly didn't remember—or didn't know—because the next thing that he thought occurred would've been waking up to the sound of gently lapping water. _I-I don't… _

Standing here and feeling confused wasn't going to help him figure things out faster, and he knew it. Taking a few tentative steps forwards, they were a little shaky and he could still feel the exhaustion that had gripped him back on the island still present in his limbs, but so long as he didn't go too fast, Hope thought he could keep going for awhile. Vision was poor, but he was fairly certain that there wasn't anyone after him. _After all… I'd hear them, right? _He would have to hope so.

Struggling to keep his balance on rocks and broken chips of stone that seemed determined to trip him, he tried to focus on only one thing at a time—it was something he'd learned in their numerous fights over the years and it helped him concentrate. _I've gotta find her. _It was the logical thing to do—and then they could figure out how to get out of wherever 'here' was.

It occurred to him, suddenly, that there was no sign of the sword in sight. He hadn't seen it on the cracked and broken stairs he'd woken up on and he'd seen nothing else apart from the grey water lapping at lifeless stone since. _Where'd _that _go? We didn't… did we? Snow threw it, so it must've ended up… where? _He couldn't remember and thinking back was a haze of blinding white that he couldn't pierce together. _Wait. Here? _He wasn't sure what had made him suddenly think of it—but it was like the pieces had fallen into place, haphazardly and out of nothing but sheer luck.

_He threw the sword. We needed it because we couldn't break the barrier to… So this is… _

The answer seemed like a physical blow that struck him in the chest; as impossible as it was, it made _sense_—there was no other _logical _explanation though the enormity of what the answer had to mean was almost impossibly overwhelming. _The Unseen Realm. _

Taking in his surroundings with a new appreciation, he could finally piece together why there was warm rain in the middle of winter; the shifting sunlight and darkness that heralded the end of time—where there _was_ no time—and the continually, perpetually changing shades of grey that never faded. Childhood stories threatening to make a reappearance, he tried to focus on _fact._ _We needed those orbs to _seal _the gate to the Unseen Realm—that means… That means I've gotta find Light and we have to find out how to make that happen. _The sense of purpose reassuring, Hope increased his pace: there was no one else to hear the sound of his splashing through the ankle-deep water save Lightning, and he direly hoped she had the sense _not_ to shoot him on sight thinking he was an enemy.

Almost stumbling over broken blocks of stone, his mind started to wander while his body kept on alert for the sign of anyone else living—it didn't look like there was anyone intent on pursuing him and he hoped—_hoped_—that that meant they'd been the only ones who'd been pulled into the rift that the sword must've created. _Where'd all this stone come from? _Situated at the edge of time itself—as if the concept in itself wasn't terrifying enough to begin with—the crumbling ruins were almost _familiar. _He couldn't quite place his finger on it, but there _was_ something familiar about them that he wasn't sure whether was a good thing or not.

Giving his head a small shake, wiping the gathered raindrops off his face with a hand, he raked that hand through damp platinum locks, pushing the clinging strands off his forehead.

Unease crept up on him as Hope continued through the foreign, phantom landscape. The sound of silence starting to get to his nerves, he wondered, blindly, whether he'd ever find her—the stone and water seemed to stretch on endlessly and the towering silhouettes in the distance that never seemed to get closer only went to hint at more things hidden. There was no indication of time passed—if such a concept even existed in this place. Rounding a large boulder, a sound he half heard made him stop.

Right hand gripping the slick surface, he strained his ears for the sound he _thought _he heard over the splash of his own footsteps. While he didn't doubt his senses for definitely hearing _something_, the sound of his footsteps also made it hard for him to be _sure _of what he'd heard. _A… cry? _He wasn't sure about the noun he'd automatically given it; whether what he'd heard was what he was looking for—something that struck icy fear into his heart—or whether it was even human remained to be seen. But it _did _come again, and this time, he knew the owner of that voice all too well.

Shouting seemed to do no good—it wouldn't help him find her and the hoarseness at the back of his throat presented itself the moment Hope opened his mouth. Trying to find where it'd come from, he caught a flash of distinctive red that stood out amongst the dismal landscape; the distance between them seemed endless and he couldn't seem to push himself faster.

Splashes nor shouts of her name seemed to catch her attention; he was close enough to see that she was down on one knee—a prospect that frightened him. _Light! _Heartbeat pounding erratically at his throat, memories buried under time that had passed since seemed to explode somewhere in his consciousness; a dark blade that tore through every aspect of calm he might've possessed since waking up.

* * *

_But no matter how loudly he called her name, she couldn't hear him. The individual sounds of the two-syllable name echoed around them, bouncing off invisible walls he couldn't see, and she was still deaf to his shouts. Whether she couldn't hear him, or was choosing to ignore him, he didn't know… and didn't want to know._

_Every single muscle in Hope's body seemed to freeze when he saw her stretch out a hand towards something—a misty, fragile something that seemed to be made of wisps of smoke. For some reason, he knew he could not let her take that hand—whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good. _

"_Lightning!"_

Unsure of whether the syllables of her name were shouted in memories or in the present, it was with no small effort that he tried to reach her. Splashing through the water, anxiety and fear growing with each passing step, she didn't hear him. Slim, trembling fingers stretched out to meet wings of ash grey, he could not—could _not_—let that happen. Fear of what would've happened next in the recurring nightmare didn't stop him; he had to stop _her_ before something else happened. _Don't do it! _Hope wanted to yell that out loud too; knowledge that she wouldn't hear him made him clamp teeth down on his tongue in an effort not to.

Bitter, metallic liquid suddenly invading the back of his throat, it was his own grip on reality. This _wasn't _a dream—what was happening was very much real and he had to stop it. Hands finally closing on the back of an exposed shoulder, he tried to pull her back; fingers slipping on wet, smooth skin, trying to pull her upright was a battle that was lost before it'd even begun.

Power surged by him; grazing his shoulder, it was an attack that his mind instantly processed as a threat. _H-He didn't… But why? _The answer was with him in a moment—the Meurite _wanted _something from them; hurting Lightning wasn't the way to get it. "That was your warning," came the quiet command. Spreading torn wings, their grey contrasted only slightly with the landscape surrounding them. "Step away from her."

Limbs refusing to move even if he would've had a speck of obedience out of fear inside, Hope remained resolutely behind her. He didn't know what the Meurite had done to her; didn't _want_ to know what he'd done to her. _Light… wake up! _There was no other term for it and so long as he wasn't sure what'd happened, he couldn't help her. Muscles frozen, it was like she'd become something made of ice: unfeeling and unresponsive. Fingers of ice cold gripped his heart at the thought—he didn't want to remember the Lightning that had existed the weeks after Serah's death. "What did you do?" The stammered question sounded infinitely impotent next to the quiet, confident assertion of the creature standing just a few feet from them, clawed, multi-jointed outstretched. _What'd you do to her? _

"Nothing for you to need to worry about. Enough to ensure that the two of you won't stop what _I _want." The answer didn't serve to alleviate even the smallest amount of his worries—something _was_ wrong and his mind dreaded what would happen next, having lived through it over and over in the one nightmare that had plagued him while she was gone. _No… _"Or you can make this easy… and give those to me." Knowing exactly what _'those_' were, it wasn't something that he could consider easily; knowing their importance was something his mind wouldn't let go of and they warred with his instinct to protect her.

_Remember what's important. _

The syllables of that simple, three word sentence reverberating across his consciousness, a flash of frustration ignited somewhere deep inside. _But you didn't mean when I had to choose between you and what's right! _And mutinously, the small voice at the back of his head knew that that was _exactly _what Lightning had meant; that voice being _right_ didn't make the situation better and Hope knew it. _No! _

Forced to move away from her when pure energy split the water level, cracking the stone underneath, the fingers of his left hand curled into a fist. He'd had to move to get out of its range and that left Lightning painfully vulnerable; still down on one knee, the fingers of her right hand were resting in the cool water. Pink hair plastered to her scalp, he couldn't see her expression and for some reason, that scared him.

But she wasn't the target and he knew it. Pushing faltering limbs into a run to avoid the spells being thrown at him, there had to be a way to fight back. And no sooner than those thoughts had crossed his mind did the familiar strength surge to the very extremities of his left hand; pushing silver bangs out of his face, he knew he _could _fight. _ But we can't fight here… whatever he's done to Light, we can't fight here._

_And Light? I know what you've told me. But that's a promise I can't keep… and I think you know that too._

* * *

Caught between heartbeats, the sound of her own name seemed foreign. The syllables didn't quite make sense and giving into the beckoning voice seemed so simple. _Let go of it. _Even if that wasn't an order her body would've complied with at the moment, the second half of that particular statement was. _It's the thing you want above all else. _

She knew what that was, didn't she? _Serah. _

_Do you trust that? _

Did it matter? She was desperate—Hope wasn't here and even if he was… _Even if he was, would I… _It scared her that that was a question she couldn't answer. _What _do _I want? _It was a question that didn't _have_ an answer she could give; frayed emotions stretched too tightly, almost like an elastic waiting to break, was the only thing she could offer as a reply. Vulnerabilities and fears had finally managed to catch up to her; between running to catch what she could with her faltering life and trying to make sense of the conflicting needs she harboured, it was something she supposed was inevitable.

And so, right now, she had no coherent answer to that question. Clinging to the past was something she was accustomed to—waking up, just like she'd said so long ago, to stare at the ceiling because everything was a regret she couldn't fix, wasn't something new. Chasing a fleeting future that seemed in her grasp one moment, gone the next, was not. Wanting to _'move on_' wasn't something the old Lightning would've scoffed at; something she still _did _scoff at, in fact, because it was impossible. _But I don't need to move on… right? _It was a precarious lesson she'd been taught—that it was possible to feel the tenuous happiness she'd allowed herself _and _not forget. It wasn't a lesson that she'd learned without pain and she knew that too. _But I… Is that…_

Things could only come full circle; it seemed ironic now that in the moment she should've been fighting for, it had come down to what she wanted. _Claire. _What she'd seen had seemed so _tangible_; the emotions that had accompanied it didn't leave room in her heart for doubt whether that was her sister or not. The desperation that'd consumed what little hold on the rest of reality had dropped her to one knee—giving in would mean fully embracing that possibility.

So why was she still here?

It was something Lightning couldn't comprehend at the moment. Why _was_ she still here, when the one thing she would've wanted was _right there_— _Is it? _Confused as she had been upon waking up, trying to sort through muddled thoughts was like trying to cup water with her bare hands; intangible, it slipped from her grasp before she was even sure she'd held it properly.

The sound of her name came again. Closer, this time, but she was no closer to figuring out who was behind it than she had been last time. Muted and muffled, the sound of her own heartbeat was louder; she could no longer really feel the cold water washing rhythmically against exposed skin and the knowledge of what she had to do suddenly felt foreign and distant.

Splashes came—louder and only marginally more distinct, they created an erratic pattern against her consciousness. Lightning couldn't quite figure out what, or who, they were coming from and there was a part of her that knew she should've known. She was supposed to feel scared that she didn't—not kneel there like a grunt and hope that all her problems could evaporate away like dewdrops under the morning sun.

_Problems? Is that what these are? _And for the first time, some grip on reality seemed to return to her. Were they _problems?_ It was a perspective she'd never taken before and wandering down it opened up new fears. _Is this what Hope thinks they are? _And for some odd reason, that thought scared her more than anything else—the prospective right in front of her didn't seem so important anymore when she thought about it. It didn't matter if he wasn't here—in fact, it was only _augmented _by the fact that he wasn't here—that she'd never tried to see things like that before.

And in that moment, it was like clarity had cleaved through the muddled thoughts and emotional turmoil inside. _Serah… or Hope? _Did she want to cling to the past—or let that go and run with both arms outstretched for the future? It was a question she was scared to answer for herself and it was only complicated by everything that had happened—everything that had ultimately come down to rest on her shoulders like some forbearing weight that might've weighed the world.

* * *

"_You don't need to go anywhere. What you're looking for… is right here."_

_Half-turning, Lightning almost wished she hadn't before shock rooted every muscle and limb into place. It wasn't possible. She knew it wasn't but that didn't stop her from standing there. Every second of training screamed at her to move, because it wasn't possible and that standing still would only make her the vulnerable target that she was, but she was no longer acting purely on what the soldier inside told her to do._

_That part of her had been taken away four years ago and it had never really come back._

"_Serah…"_

_The name was already unfamiliar on her lips—despite screaming it so many times over and over in nightmares, the syllables felt foreign on her tongue and it was an effort to make them sound right. But the hoarse whisper didn't make her sister step towards her, nor did it make her acknowledge her in any way._

_But she had no doubts as to who it was even though there was no response and the Meurite beside her didn't even register in the emotional tidal wave that was threatening to override everything else. "Give the orb to me. Then you can go." The quiet command was one she should've ignored—done her best to shut out. Her body wanted to clamp her hands over her ears and turn away, knowing that that was the smarter choice, but her inner wasteland didn't allow for rational thought like that. Regrets and everything that she might've done wrong pushing through the edges of her consciousness on fast-forward, it was an effort to stay standing still—the only middle ground her body and mind would allow._

"_Give it to me." The order was a quiet repetition of the first, though Lightning could register a speck of impatience hidden at the very back of the tone now. "Don't you want your sister back?"_

_It was a question—but also not a question. She knew he knew exactly what he was trying to bait her with but at that moment, it didn't matter—because she was desperate. Hope wasn't there to remind her of the things he shouldn't have to remind her of anymore and he wasn't there to assuage the rising panic that came with the emotional overhaul of the simple sentences that weren't simple at all. _

_Her sister reached out one slender hand towards her. "Claire."_

* * *

_Bursts of autumn rain tore through orange and red leaves cloaked in fiery colours, muting the hazily illuminated glow that the watery streetlamp in the distance gave off. Photons shrouded by the orange glaze, the dark sky was lit for the briefest flash of a heartbeat before a roll of thunder was carried on the heels of the momentary light._

_That same roll of thunder carrying through the glass that formed a window, it was the same sound that woke her from the depths of the dream. Shaking, trembling fingers wadded the covers into fists underneath her hands, but that didn't help. Biting down on her lip didn't calm the breathing that was bordering hyperventilation and it did nothing for the erratic heartbeat hammering at her throat. _

_Trying to dispel the afterimages was like trying to saw off one of her own legs—it was impossible and there was no chance of her trying to. Rain pounding against the smooth glass outside the curtain shroud in a regular rhythm, it was no more soothing than if she'd known she was creating that rhythm herself. Slipping out of bed, glad that for once, she hadn't woken up screaming, which would've brought Hope running—of that, she had absolutely no doubt—Lightning found herself creeping silently downstairs, trying to disregard how badly she was shaking._

_Like before, it was impossible not to dream about that night. She couldn't run away from it no matter how hard she tried and now she had to bring someone else down with it too. The familiar stab of guilt somehow making it through the anguished vestiges of control she had left over her feelings, Lightning was unaware that she'd somehow managed to make it outside until cold rain splattered down her face, soaking the thin tank top and sweats she was wearing almost instantly._

_But instead of wanting to run back inside, she found the cool contact soothing—it gave a grip on reality that she didn't think she had and it was something else to focus on. Cherry coloured bangs plastered to her forehead, the sensation wasn't unfamiliar—it was something she'd done once before, in the weeks leading up to her mother's death. Lifting her head to expose the rest of her face and her neck to the downpour, each icy contact was like a reminder; of things that had been and might've been… and things that might still_ _be. But Lightning found that the last prospect no longer scared her as much as it once might've—it was something that trying to accept wasn't as hard as she once might've thought._

_She didn't know he was there—she hadn't even heard him approach her—until a tentative, phantom hand gently tugged at one wrist. "You're going to get sick." Though he meant it as a rebuke, for her, it was a reminder… of what she had left. "Lightning." The quiet repetition of her name invoked something of a sense of panic inside; it was the last thing that she'd heard echoing off unseen walls in the realm of dreams and she was afraid that it would show on her face, even though she wasn't looking at him._

_Unable to reply for a few long heartbeats, cold, clammy fingers came to grip at hers. She no longer found it strange to find herself instinctively reacting to the contact. Allowing him to turn her around, she met his gaze—understanding etched in the familiar emerald, it only served to amplify her earlier guilt. "I'm sorry…" _

_Soaked to the skin in the harsh rainfall just like she was, Hope didn't reply for a moment—in that moment, Lightning was afraid she'd done something wrong. But she _was_ wrong; pulled into a shy, advertent hug, his chin came to rest on the top of her head—once again emphasizing their new height difference. "Don't worry about it… okay? You didn't do anything wrong—it _wasn't _your fault. That wasn't… it's not the end of the line for you, okay?"_

_She met his gaze then—the tranquil conviction in his expression calmed her and even though they were both drenched to the skin, she found it something that she could hold onto; even the unspoken plea behind it she could understand._

"_It's not the end of the line for you." _

_And right now, she could believe that._

* * *

A short cry torn from her lips at the memory, the sensation of rain on her skin wasn't something that was easily ignored. And just like before, it was a renewal of her grip on reality—except this time, her reality wasn't one that was easy to wake up to. Her surroundings no longer seemed dimmed and muted; every pinprick of water on exposed skin felt as real as it should've and the sound of splashing through water sounded ten times closer than it had before. _What… _

"Lightning…" The sound of her name was close—but this time, she knew who it was. It wasn't instinct that drove her to her feet; the similarity of now and back then pulled her heart into a painful contortion _because _she knew who it was and the utter desire to _protect _that—the tranquility of the moment just then combined with what she knew might still come to be—caused her to stumble forwards even though her inner wasteland felt no less desolate than it had, fingers finding almost no purchase on the slippery handle of her weapon.

Blinking open dazed aquamarine eyes, her muscles froze when she took in the sight before her; scarlet caressing one smooth cheek, the same dirty red was tied around one arm as he struggled to get up, barely a few feet away from her.

Her throat seized when Lightning realized the implication of what'd happened; it was something she didn't want herself to fully process because she knew what it would come down to and that terrified her: he'd been there the whole time and she hadn't known it. _I… _It wasn't a question anymore—he'd seen her struggle with what'd happened and it was a thought she would've never dreamed would hurt that much. _He saw me trying to decide what was most important to me—a past that I'll never get back or a future that I told him I wanted. _

Trying to keep her balance, fighting the blankness invading her vision and the lightheadedness that pounded through her head at the effort of staying upright, she could only thank the Maker that her knees gave out when she was within reach of him. Hands came to meet hers, their grip no stronger than her own trembling one. "Light…"

"I'm sorry…" This time, just like before, it was something she knew she'd done wrong—throwing away what she had with both hands wasn't something forgivable in anyone's books and Lightning knew it. As guarded as she'd let those feelings become, they were wide open now when there was nothing else left; it was something that he'd worked to get to and it was that that made her fearful of looking directly at him.

Damp hair slipped in front of her eyes as Lightning bowed her head, aquamarine gaze focussing on the joined fingers of their hands. Trying to control her shaking, anything she might've wanted to say was no louder than a whisper that was barely audible over the patter of soft rain. "Hope, I…" Trying again didn't help—the words were no easier than they had been only moments ago and she didn't think any amount of looking up would help her; she couldn't show him those feelings with just her expression like he could. _I didn't mean… _

_Did you? _The voice at the very back of her head had spoken up. _Don't lie to yourself—you wanted it. You _believed _it; can you really sit here and tell him that you didn't? _She tried once again; a last ditch effort to—_What? Make myself feel better? _The derisive thought sauntered through her mind accordingly and Lightning couldn't help but wonder just how much truth was in it. But just as she was about to open her mouth, Hope spoke first.

"Don't. It's okay… okay? I didn't…" The gentle assurance in his voice wasn't enough; it wouldn't ease the forlorn guilt she could still feel swamping at the back of her consciousness. _But I… _The contact between their hands growing to be borderline painful—a fact that Lightning wasn't sure was attributed to how tightly she was holding onto him or the other way around—she was sure she'd been right when he broke it.

And in that heartbeat, stretched painfully long between moments that didn't exist where they were, she wanted to run—just like before. And just like before, so long ago, there was nowhere to run _to—_physical distance no longer mattered when it came down to how she felt and the painful vulnerability that had been exposed so easily.

That contact would return the next, ghosting a firm contact with her upper right arm. "Stop," came the quiet command spoken between rough pants; the hitch in his breathing widened the gap between them. "Light, stop. It wasn't—" Cutting himself off abruptly, perhaps Hope had sensed that she no longer wanted to hear the phrase "_it wasn't your fault"_. Still afraid to look up, she heard him take a shallow breath. "I would've fallen for it too. So don't hate yourself for this." The tug at her arm became more insistent. "We still have to win this… don't give up now, okay?"

Finding herself pulled to her feet along with him, the sensation of water running down bare exposed skin was the reminder she desperately needed; the syllables of the last sentence pulling up something that had been all but consumed by the emotional turmoil since. _We still have to win this. _Spoken so many times, it'd almost become a metaphor for what they were.

And finally, finally, that was the admonition that the rational part of her mind wanted her to take; it was what finally gave her the inner equilibrium to look up.

The hurt she expected to be in his emerald gaze wasn't there—what was there was her own relief the moment she recognized his voice; something she didn't think she deserved, but the contact between them reminded her of her own words. _Remember what's important. _

_Right… _He didn't miss the slight nod of her head just as he looked around them again, viridian gaze suddenly wary as the connection between their skin was broken. Lightning had the span of a few heartbeats to adjust to it, to remember that whatever had happened, and wherever they were, they were still in the middle of a battlefield.

Blinking away the last few vestiges of disorientation, she tried to focus, clinging to the last words of their brief conversation before the delicate control that she'd managed to wrestle back from her emotions was wrested away by something she had no power over once again. The grey sameness of their surroundings hadn't changed—the soft rain still grazing her skin from the marbled sky overhead, the expanse of water seemed to still stretch for what seemed like forever, only broken by the broken stone. _Where'd he…_

"What a touching reunion." The voice seemed to issue from the shadows, from all directions at once. Involuntarily taking a step backwards, her back bumped against his; for some reason—one that she could now admit to herself—the contact comforted her; it soothed the heartbeat that had wanted to leap from her throat because it was the same voice that'd wanted to convince her that Serah—

Lightning cut herself off then and there. _No… You can't go there, _she commanded herself. _He just reminded you what you were here for—the future. Not the past. _Grey reptilian skin seemed to blend perfectly with their surroundings; he moved soundlessly on water. "Figured out that no one can bring back the dead?" Clawed, multi-jointed hands were extended in their direction. "But she could be like me. You'd want that… wouldn't you?"

She felt Hope tense at her back and heard him half turn his head—she didn't need to look at him to know the expression on his face. "Shut… up." Forcing herself to sound stronger than how she felt, Lightning clenched the fingers of her free hand into a fist, feeling the cold wetness of the rain pressed between skin and glove. "You don't know that."

"Don't I?" But it was no longer a question; she knew the hungry look on his face too well. "I'm giving you one last chance." Spoken in even tones, it didn't quite hide the inherent anger at the very back of it. "Give those to me… and I'll let you live."

"For what?" The quiet question came from her back and Lightning hated the fact that Hope sounded much more composed than she was. A fine tremble was still attacking her fingers and she forced herself to hold on more tightly to her weapon to curb that.

But '_for what', _she would never know, because it was at that moment that the Meurite chose to attack them; spreading wings of ash grey, it dove for them, the familiar crimson energy she'd seen in Carmine's hand gathering in its palm. Reacting on pure instinct, the soldier inside commanded her to dive aside as the wave missed, shattering the boulder that had lain only a few feet behind them. Splintered rock joined the drizzle falling down; soft splashes created ripples that spread slowly towards them.

Stumbling to one side, her omega weapon was hoisted to shoulder level by trembling limbs; she hadn't quite fought past the emotional struggle that had taken them to this point just yet and trying to disassociate herself from what he'd shown her was proving to be hard. _Stop. That's not… It wasn't the truth._ Trying to cling to that, the fingers of her right hand tightened marginally on the handle of her gunblade.

Flicking it open, taking several steps backwards, the only good thing the attack had done for her was to clear her head and reinforce the idea in her mind that they _were_ fighting. Several yards away from her, Hope had his left hand raised; the flash of dirty scarlet caught her eye once again. Stowing it away at the very edge of her consciousness, Lightning reminded herself to keep that in mind—that if necessary, she would have to move more quickly if the situation called for it.

Knees slightly bent in preparation to move at a moment's warning, she bit down on her tongue when Hope spoke up. Now that he was no longer at her back, the quietness of his tone tugged at her; the vulnerability he had standing alone made her skin itch to run back towards him—she stopped herself, knowing that that was the last thing he would want. _I told him I trusted him. Whatever's happened, that can't… I can't go back on that. _"Why are you doing this?" Jerking her head up in surprise, the calmness to his tone unnerved her; the intensity in his verdant gaze told her it was a serious question.

"Because I was born to lead." The quiet triumph was unmistakable. "When those in charge are inferior, it makes sense to tear them down, no?"

Hope spoke before Lightning could even open her mouth. "So you have no intention of living with us? Of understanding us?"

And suddenly, she wasn't here anymore, but somewhere else. Under a sky forked with white lightning, rain fell down on unforgiving rocks as thunder rolled off the treacherous mountainside.

* * *

_"Lightning." There was a pause in which the only sound that could be heard was the sound of the rain pounding down around them, washing away the blood and rock slivers that would soon be all that was left of this battlefield, and the sound of battle in the far distance__—__still halfway up the mountain pass down or perhaps from inside the dark mountain itself. "We understood each other... right?"_

* * *

The memory crashed through the last remaining vestiges of doubt and uncertainty, slicing through those thoughts like a blade. Her footstep forwards in the ankle-deep water wasn't unnoticed—the Meurite twitched slightly as he flicked his gaze back towards her for a fraction of a second before turning back to Hope. "Understand? What's there to understand? You cage animals—lower animals, don't you? Is there supposed to be a difference, when a superior race claims control over your own?"

She didn't want to hear any more—didn't _need_ to hear anymore. _I might've not agreed with what Hope was saying… just a few months ago. But I can't think that way anymore; because we _need_ to understand each other. Whether it's because of what we are or whether it's because of everything that we've been through, I know now. _

_We have to understand each other._

Running forwards, she swiped downwards with the omega weapon the same moment electricity flashed through the same place that the Meurite had been standing in. Missing by barely an inch, she caught the edge of one tattered wing as they spread upwards. Landing back on her feet with a splash, she trailed his movement upwards, trusting Hope to know enough to work with her.

Taking a few steps backwards, right arm raised in preparation to strike, the first strike of energy barely missed the top of her head, sending water arching upwards. Frost filtered through the soft drizzle, forming ice shards, but the motion didn't seem to affect the Meurite at all, diving through the ice as though it wasn't there.

Grazing the top of the rippled water, claws outstretched, a sudden inspiration hit her when Lightning realized that the Meurite wasn't willing to land. _Hope! _She wanted to shout his name out loud to get his attention, but the battle didn't allow for that—what she had in mind would only work once and if it didn't she couldn't think of another way to win.

Darting forwards, she raised the handle of her omega weapon. If Hope had cottoned onto what she was thinking, he didn't show it—the yell of her name somewhere behind her was immaterial once those claws met dead on with her weapon. Right hand gripping the handle as tightly as she could, Lightning gripped the blade with her left, pushing back against the force against her; the metal already digging into her palm even through the glove, warmth was starting to bead at the contact—it was something she couldn't hold for long and Hope would have to act soon if he wanted to take advantage of the momentary disbalance.

Deadly thunder splintered the space between them, and for a moment, she thought it had worked; fear had invaded the previously emotionless eyes before her and the pressure against her arms lessened for a heartbeat. Before she could drive that advantage home, several things happened too fast, all at once, for her to completely comprehend the nightmarish twist in events.

Thrown backwards suddenly, she slipped against the rough rock surface made slick by the rain; scarlet drops diffused quickly against the clarity of the cool liquid, spreading rapidly into faint smears of crimson against grey. But that wasn't what concerned her—the pained yelp somewhere behind her was what concerned her; short, she knew its owner only a fraction of a second after it reached her ears. "_Hope_!" Half turning, it was a dire mistake she shouldn't have made—the soldier inside knew it as such the moment her head twisted towards one shoulder, but the exposed emotion inside had already won out against that training a long time ago.

Claws slashed across one shoulder, bringing with it a trail of heady scarlet that was quickly washed away by the soft rain that still fell, unaffected, from the grey skies above. The motion bringing her down to one knee, clarity surged through her remaining senses for the half-second she needed to concentrate them. Emotions tied into one, there was no longer any need for the power she tried to summon to her fingertips—she'd already done so on the way down.

Flames licked the drizzling water; smoke made it hard to see. Coughing, it was as though the fire was reflected off of the surface of the water itself—grey was turned to a blazing orange within a matter of heartbeats. The shriek of the fiery bird echoing crisply off the water and rocks surrounding them, the throbbing pain in her right shoulder was winning. Trembling fingers of her left hand brought up to try to stop it, it was a futile effort: the rain that dotted the white shoulder of the uniform was already stained a rusty orange and there was no stopping it.

Raising her head, Lightning fought the invading dots that flared suddenly in her vision in her attempt to get up as her heartbeat was magnified tenfold, pounding through her bloodstream like a mantra. Stabbing the tip of the omega weapon into the stone, she leaned forward on it in time to watch the phoenix spread its wings, the dry heat pushing against her skin even from here.

A lone figure was visible in the distance, a dark silhouette amongst bright flames that held one hand up towards the outline of the birdlike summon, as though trying to convince it of something. Fingers raised, the forward tilt of its head was outlined for the brief split second that took the rest of her concentration to conjure—a thunder that illuminated the very contours of the distorted body that had been created under such different conditions… here.

Photons and flame seemed to consume the very core of the world they were perched so precariously in; the white brightness could've rivalled the explosion of crystal that had pulsated outwards in the moment of radiant contact between the sword and the time gate. Struggling to remain upright, Lightning caught the glare of the flames reflected off the distilled water in the final moment before silence consumed the space around her.

* * *

"_We understood each other, right?" _

_Taking a breath, trying to use it to calm her aggravated heartbeat, she tried to force the tremble out of her tone. "Yeah."_

_Her voice was hoarse, but she knew he'd heard the quiet assurance in it._

* * *

Soft rain seemed to be her calling back into something that resembled consciousness; dripping onto her cheeks, the sensation was cool and in no way invading. It was beckoning. And as Lightning blinked open her eyes, the landscape around her seemed surreal in a way she couldn't comprehend.

The grey skies had parted, allowing watery, golden light to filter through the remaining marbled clouds. Rain still fell from above, adding to the water that lapped gently at her body. Struggling to stand, the infectious heat that throbbed through one shoulder was a wake up call. _Wh-What happened…? _Trying to get her thoughts straight, standing was a fight she couldn't win.

Reduced to crawling on her hands and knees, memories came back in small slivers, slowly filling the gaps that her mind had created.

_You must go. This realm is unstable—staying will mean remaining for the rest of eternity. _

In her weakened state, she couldn't figure out the speaker of those words until her hands bumped against something that was neither stone nor water.

Lying on one side, the aggravated scarlet on his side was the thing that stood out to her immediately. Rusty red stretched down the fabric of his shirt, her shaking fingers were unwilling to reach out for him, afraid the lightest touch could mean the thing she feared most. "Hope…" Name torn from her lips, her forehead slipped forwards until it touched his shoulder. A faint breath stirred the wet hair clinging to her temples.

In no way reassured, pulling her arms around him and trying to pull them both to a standing position was impossible—she wasn't strong enough and she would never be able to support his weight.

_Hurry._

Slipping, Lightning found her face pressed against his throat, the exposed skin wet from the rain that fell steadily abovehead. "I'm sorry…" _I should've… _"Wake up," she begged quietly, no longer caring if those were tears that mixed with the rain streaked down her cheeks. "I-I can't… lose someone again." The impotency of those words struck her as nothing short of painful and guilt and defeat clenched at her heart.

Refusing to let it win, she tightened her grip around him, trying, once again, to pull them both upwards, a strange vow that she almost couldn't believe she'd made ringing through her mind. Echoing it, the words were ridden on an almost inaudible whisper as Lightning finally pulled him upright against the flat slab of rock that might've once formed one of the forlorn grey buildings in the distance. "We'd both survive… right?" Incoherency turning her inner wasteland into a tumult of emotions, she knelt in the water beside him. _We promised._

* * *

_Chin resting in her hair, she felt almost _relaxed_, something that Lightning wouldn't have dreamed was possible for their current situation. But she was; reassured by the warmth beside her, she was drifting off into sleep again… and for once, the prospect of nightmares didn't bother her. She wasn't scared to fall asleep for fear of returning to them. _

_The quiet whisper beside her changed that. "I love you." _

_Caught completely off guard, she couldn't control the emotions that were instantly brought to the surface by the three simple words._

* * *

"That's why we have to make it, okay?" The soft cry coming from the back of her throat, the memory fueled the same emotions she'd experienced back then. Trembling fingers tightened on the wet fabric of his shirt as she tried to tug him upright. "We have to… Hope, I…" The words caught suddenly, as though somewhere, deep inside, she still wouldn't allow herself to say them out loud.

_Seal this land. All you need to do is to will yourself to do so—we will do the rest, so you may return to the place that you came from._

* * *

The gentle shake of his shoulders alerted him to something other than pain; hands tried to pull him from the blackness to the uninviting light—too bright too quickly, the radiant flare of pain from his side made Hope want to dive back under the cover of unconsciousness. _What…_

Memories rushed to fill in the still emptiness left in the wake of the darkness just as cognition took over those thoughts. _What if… _Desperation had consumed him the moment Lightning had run forwards, intent on taking their enemy down. Unable to help her, the potency of his spells never seemed to be enough as he'd tried to aim for the Meurite.

Pain had slammed him then, wrestling a cry that he'd tried to contain at the back of his throat. But he couldn't—and in that moment, he saw her half-turn, unaware of the danger swooping in on her from behind. _What if we… _

"We have to make it, okay?" The soft, anguished voice dangerously near, it took his mind a few moments to place it. _Light? _Clammy fingers gripped at his, their tug insistent. "Please…" The next words were harder to catch. "Don't do this to me."

_Light… _He was sure it was her now, and almost every muscle in his body wanted to react to that, only, he couldn't. Trying to summon the strength to was a battle he couldn't win and the cold rain dripping down his skin couldn't do anything to dispel that. "We have to go…"

It was hard to miss the desperation in her voice as Hope felt a shove against his side, an attempt from her to try and get him to his feet. Trying to help her, he tried to let her momentum shove him upright. The grip between their hands had become painful, her nails digging into his skin as Lightning finally managed to pull him into a precarious standing position against the flat slab of rock at his back. A wave of heat tearing through one side, he couldn't stop the hoarse sound of protest that came from the very back of his throat.

The low gasp coming from somewhere near the vicinity of his shoulder; her hands shifted until they could _hold_ him upright against the cold rock. "I'm sorry…" came the quiet reiteration. "I… I didn't do what I was supposed to do—I couldn't… So please, Hope, I-I love you… don't do this to me."

Out of all the words in that one sentence, only three really made a real impression in his foggy consciousness. _I love you. _And for whatever reason, tired limbs gave way to a delicate sense of warmth; that in itself was funny in an almost ironic way—it was never a fact he'd _doubted _in any way, only that hearing her _say it _changed just about everything. _I-I never… _

That warmth lent his battered and bruised frame the last vestiges of strength hidden somewhere. Blinking open tired eyes, the grey landscape around him slowly came into focus—except it was no longer the dismal grey sameness: bright beams of watery light pierced through marbled clouds, touching golden highlights to the rain soaked silhouettes in the distance.

Pink hair flashed through his peripheral vision; clinging to her temples, her forehead was inches away from his throat. Hope couldn't see her face through her hair, but her grip was no less tight than it had been moments ago and it was only when he made a conscious, painful effort to look down did he see the heady crimson clinging to the wrong shoulder; diluted as it was by rain, the rusty red tied just above the armbands on her right was _wrong_.

Not having enough strength to return her tight grip, his head bowed forwards, coming to rest against the top of her head; eliciting a quiet gasp from the woman barely two inches away from him, her grip slid downwards slightly, coming to rest on his right hand with her left. "Hope… You have to make it, okay?" The small edge of determination to her voice was back; had he had the strength to do so, he would've laughed—it was a command phrased as a request.

As things were though, he couldn't. The lower half of his face pressed against her hair, the muffled response that was all he managed to give was barely audible. "Okay." As quiet as it had been, he knew she heard it because the clench of pressure against his right hand grew painful again. Something cold and smooth was pressed between them; held between their interlocked fingers, its warmth was intoxicating.

Lightning lifted her head up slightly until it was enough to let the tips of their noses touch for the briefest heartbeat before she tightened their conjoined grip on the glass held between them. Her voice was barely audible over the sound of falling rain.

"We'll make it."


	44. Hanasanaide - 離さないで

**So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of _Revenant Wings_!  
**

**I'd start this A/N with the usual rant about the difficulty of this chapter, but I have a feeling you guys are tired of that, so instead, I'll offer you the reasons (and an apology) for the lateness of this chapter - the first of my second set of midterms, MLG Dallas happening this weekend, and on the list goes. *sighs*  
**

**But enough about that; much love goes to: YuffentineRippalLightHope (awh, thanks! I try not to pull those too often, but sometimes, they're necessary, right? D:), Jack Hargreave (no worries at all, and I'm glad you enjoyed! YES - they will for sure make it!), That One Reviewee (*gives cookie* And thanks for the pointer - goes to show I shouldn't write next time at 1 am. And ohdarn, I must make an effort the next time around for more heartwrenching chapters in my next fic. *gameface*), resistance123 (yep, she said it! And if I'm honest, I was _waiting_ for an epic situation for her to say it. Just cause... that would make things more epic, right?), Dash Handsom (*edges away from window* Ahaha, jk, I'm glad you liked it and I hope this doesn't disappoint!), Mylaervain (awh, thank you! But I probably wouldn't have been able to pull that in one sitting either if my life depended on it - that's why last chapter took so long. I had to take periodic breaks and rework thinking processes _several _times to get things right), H-thar (ahaha, well... I wish. At least, I wish staring really, really intently at my PS3 would've changed the ending to XIII-2; sad things don't work that way, huh? And, for that segment you pointed out, what I was _going_ for was that he shouted it out loud both in the flashback and IRL (at least, for him) so I wasn't sure how to get that one down... Yep, Hope was supposed to have finished him off, but I guess I don't make sense at 1 am anymore, dammit. *reminds herself not to do that next time* And yeah... Light never cries when she can help it, so when she does (and is begging you to boot), you oblige her by... obliging. Thank Etro, Hope), and GKMader (awh, hon, thanks! You'll find out about our favourite hero soon, and I'm glad - my pain last chapter came to some amount of fruition. ;~;).  
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**Moving on - this _isn't _the last chapter of this fic, so we have one-ONE! more to go. That being said, I've left one little line at the end of this, so leave some love if you so desire, and my fingers will work on transforming those into words that make up the epilogue. 8D One more note - I've left the chapter of this title in the Japanese phrase that inspired it; there's really no English equivalent of this phrase, in my opinion. Roughly, it translates as "please don't leave anymore", which, well... *coughs* Anyways, enjoy as always! (:**

* * *

Chapter 44: _Hanasanaide_ - 離さないで

_New Bodhum, 5 AF – Spring._

Waking up to the sound of unfamiliar birdsong, it was disconcerting to wake up alone. Daylight filtered through blinds still pulled over tightly shut windows; a quick peek down the hall told Hope Lightning had already left for work, though he hadn't heard her leave.

Wandering downstairs, morning sunlight pooled on the smooth linoleum of the dining area, curtains already pulled back by someone else. A glance outside brought another surprise—though one he should've honestly expected. Budding leaves filling barren branches for the first time in months, one tree in particular caught his eye, reddish-purple blooms that hadn't quite opened just yet waving delicately in the gentle breeze. It brought a small smile to twitch at the corner of his lips though its origin wasn't anything to be happy for.

Sliding open the glass door that led outside, that full breeze tickled exposed skin as Hope looked down, the familiar faint burn scar crossing the middle of his right palm. _I remember this._

* * *

_Powerless and weightless, there was no sense of direction. The only thing he had left to hold onto was the smooth glass in his right hand and the grip that connected that hold with Lightning's. The sensation strange against skin unprotected by gloves, the warmth underneath the surface was beginning to grow hotter. _

_But if his mind wanted to command his hand to drop it, he couldn't. Fingers interlocked with hers, he couldn't move even if he would've wanted to. The quiet exhale of effort audible from somewhere near his shoulder, the growing heat hadn't escaped her notice. The only thing he could do now, though, was to hold onto it—he would have to trust that the power contained in them was enough to finish what they'd come to start and that it would be enough to go back on._

"_We'll make it."_

_The hoarse reassurance still reverberating through his eardrums, it was almost something _tangible _he could cling to—something he could hide at the very back of his consciousness to peruse thoroughly at a later time… if there even was a later time for them. The emotion in the husky tones hard to forget, he hadn't been really able to see her expression through the damp pastel pink locks that clung to her forehead and temples._

_Searing heat seemed to pound from his palm in time to his heartbeat; drawing from something deep inside, it was the answer to a question he'd never really asked as the grey seemed to fade, slowly being replaced by crystal blue that reflected a winter morning bathed in weak sunlight._

_Sinking to his knees from the lack of presence holding him up, his hands touched the ground—only, this time, it was no longer the rough, cold rock submerged in clear water. His fingertips brushed something smooth—smooth and warm. He had only begun to register the quiet thud beside him when foreign sounds surged to fill in the empty silence left in the wake of the falling rain._

* * *

Staring at the patch of faint pink stretched across skin that was no longer smooth, Hope found himself clenching it into a fist, fingernails curling over the small discolouration in skin. _But if this is the price I had to pay for what we have now, I'll take it. _Stepping forwards fully into the faint sunlight, he found himself wandering over to the tree in question, staring upwards at the new buds just beginning to bead against dark brown.

Unconsciously, that same palm was pressed against the rough bark, uncertainty seizing him for all of a heartbeat. _Hey… Serah? _The thought was something errant and unplanned, but it was stemmed from a part of him that craved reassurance and support. After all, it was Serah who'd first told him, quietly, hidden away from everyone else, that 'Claire' existed underneath the hard exterior harboured by her sister. And back then, it was something that he'd hardly dared to believe—something that seemed so distantly impossible it was just that. _But you were right. Just like how you were right about everything else about Light. So... don't worry, okay? We'll be okay._

_We'll be okay._

The simple sentence drew the same small smile to the edges of his lips—it was a phrase that had been reiterated, in some way or another, so many times over the past few months it was almost like an inside joke; and if anything, that particular fact was proved when it always drew an exasperated snort from Lightning whenever he said it—or anything along those lines—now. _But we really will be… right? _

He would've told himself he would have to hope so, but recent experiences had taught him something beyond that. _We don't 'hope' for anything—that's like standing by and waiting for everyone else to fix themselves because you don't want to. If it's something that needs to be solved… we solve it. _It was an approach that had been taught to him by a singular person, only to realize that it hadn't ever been just something that applied to only one person. _When it was Light, you didn't just watch her struggle through things, 'hoping' things would get better. You went up to her, even when she told you to shut up and leave her alone, and you tried to help. Even if it seemed impossible at the beginning. _

It was a lesson that hadn't taken him much time to learn on its own, whether it was because it was _her _or whether it was because he'd become so used to knowing her as someone he could rely on, but it had taken him awhile to realize that it _wasn't_ just about Lightning. _It's about everything we could ever hope to make right in this world. _

Palm still resting on the uneven, bumpy surface of the bark, he glanced towards the east for a brief moment, catching the brilliant glow of Cocoon in the distance, light blue touched to a faint gold by the rising sun.

* * *

The quiet scrape of a key in the metal lock caught his attention. Blazing sunset pooling a fiery orange against white floor tiles, it had been awhile too that that glow had been able to poke through heavy storm clouds that seemed intent to cover the ground with white flakes.

A quiet scuff against linoleum coming only a few heartbeats later, he flicked the landing light open for her only to catch a muttered curse as a response. For some reason, that wanted to elicit a small smile from him—it wasn't an unexpected response even though he _knew_ she would rebuke him for it later. _Just watch. _

He'd turned around purposefully so as to avoid the brunt of the glare he knew was coming, but he couldn't avoid her forever and as he heard Lightning sit down by the counter he knew _she _knew he'd have to turn around eventually. "Really, Hope," he heard her mutter. "Were you _trying_ to scare me or something?"

Half turning to meet her unamused glare, he fought to keep his face straight. "No. I was trying to be _helpful_," he offered, unable to maintain that particular expression as he heard a snort.

"Right." The dry response to his attempt at humour didn't escape his notice as he made his way over, carefully scrutinizing her expression for something that was _'wrong'. _He couldn't see any at first glance—which was only a little reassuring—but closer inspection revealed the darker shadows underneath her cerulean eyes and the way she was holding her hands tightly together on the countertop didn't exactly go to hide what he knew she was _trying _to hide.

Sitting down, he gave her a couple of moments. And only six months ago, he might've wondered whether it was a wise idea or not to approach her when something came up; everything that had happened since told him that he would do better to resolve things before they got pent up inside and came down like… _Like what happened _then_. _It wasn't something he would've liked to think about on a good day and he clung to what it'd taught him like a lifeline. _And who knows? For all I know, it could be. _"So… is something wrong?" Finally venturing forward, Hope wasn't surprised when she didn't answer him immediately.

The visible rise and fall of her slender shoulders accompanied Lightning's small sigh. Devoid of the cape and pauldron that she'd taken off already, the thin scars scratched down them were visible in the bright light of the kitchen and as always, the sight of them made him feel queasy and uncomfortable—a reminder of her—_their_—past that would never really go away. Fingers locked together, pressed against the tabletop, it was a moment before she replied. "No," she started, but before Hope could open his mouth to deny that particular one word statement, she rectified it. "Nothing's _wrong_," she clarified, "just… give me some time, okay? I-I need to sort things out—there're some things I can't really wrap my head around just yet." Meeting his gaze, her next words were even. "But I _will _let you know, okay?"

The steady tone to the quiet reassurance was comforting; the assertion in it caused warmth to unfurl somewhere inside. Unspoken, he knew that she knew what it _meant_ now—it wasn't something he was asking arbitrarily and he hoped that it meant that she could understand it wasn't a _bad_ thing to try and accept help. _One step at a time, right? _Holding her gaze, the slight relaxation of her clasped fingers didn't escape his notice. "Okay."

She looked away from him then, averting her gaze for a moment before taking off her gloves and smoothing them down against the countertop. Slender fingers smoothing down the blue leather, the angle of her left palm caught the light abovehead for a moment, the mirror of the scar on his own hand just visible for the that fraction of a heartbeat. Sudden nervousness seized him for a moment; he'd been waiting for her for a reason and just like before, it wasn't the best idea he probably would have, but there was nothing else for it—he'd learned simply _asking_ Lightning things was hit-or-miss oftentimes, though she could still surprise him: her almost _childish _self-consciousness and modesty getting the best of her occasionally. The scrape of her chair reminded him that he didn't have long. "Hey… Light?"

"Mmhm?" Absentmindedly stowing the gloves into a pocket of her overcoat, she flicked her gaze back at him.

Swallowing thickly, Hope tightened one hand against the back of his chair. "Do you have time right now?" Inwardly—and in retrospect—it was a stupid question and he knew it; clearly, Lightning seemed to think so too, arching an eyebrow in his direction. Biting down on the bottom of his lip in silent apology, he'd been about to open his mouth to voice that sheepish apology when she cut him off, shaking her head slightly before bridging a hand across her face.

"_No_," she retorted gently before the faintest hint of a smirk quirked at the corner of her lips. "Really, Hope. Did you even have to ask?" The subdued sarcasm in her voice reassured him the teeniest bit.

"Sorry." The apology came anyways as she waited for him to continue; suddenly the kitchen felt too confined for what he wanted to say and the sudden desperation to be somewhere outdoors made him voice that particular sentiment. "Will you come for a walk with me?"

If the question struck her as odd in any way, Lightning didn't voice it, simply flicking her cape over her shoulder with a shrug of assent. Trailing after her towards the door, Hope almost felt like stuffing his hands in his pockets to hide the tremor in his hands he wasn't sure he was concealing—she couldn't have possibly seen the way his heart had somehow pushed its way up to his throat since but that didn't make him feel any less small.

Holding the door open for him, she beckoned him in front of her, walking out into the slightly chilly scarlet sunset after locking the door. His own footsteps seemed uneven; whether that was the trepidation getting to him or not, he didn't know. Choosing a direction almost out of desperation, a few moments passed in silence before he realized which direction they were actually going in. Hope wanted to change that direction then and there, but he was scared that she would find that even more odd and begin the onslaught of questions he knew she was already holding back and he didn't want that. _Maker, why do I have the worst instincts? _There was nothing for it now but to go with it; he could only hope that she wouldn't begin to see it as some sort of symbolism.

Night had begun to eat away at the orangish streaks in the marbled sky before he stopped, a slight chilly wind picking up even though it was spring. The green of new grass now barely visible, he paused at the top of the hilly ledges looking down, the dim glow of Cocoon in the distance already luminous in the evening sky.

The soft _crunch _of grass surprised him for a moment; one knee underneath both arms, Lightning had sat down, staring out at the uninterrupted spiderweb of lights spread haphazardly down beneath them, already bright against the gathering darkness. "So…" The tone of her voice was light, though it didn't sound forced in any way and he knew she was waiting for him to start. _Better sooner than later, right?_

_Let's hope so._

Choosing to sit beside her, the slight dampness to the grass underneath a little disconcerting, Hope purposefully sat a few inches away from her, earning him another raised eyebrow, though there was no comment this time. Nervousness seized him once again and he hated himself for it; it was something he wasn't sure he was ready to say just yet and though he knew that she would force it out of him eventually, the conversation wasn't there right now and he wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not. _Don't hate me for this, okay? _"So," he continued quietly, trying to keep whatever was attacking his nerves right now _out _of his voice, "how're the discussions going?"

Suddenly glad for the darkness, he couldn't make out her immediate expression. It was a few moments before she replied, and if Lightning had noticed anything suspicious—that, of which Hope had no doubts—she kept it carefully out of her voice; clearly, she'd decided to humour him and he could only hope that he'd be able to take that opportunity. "You know. Working out rights, independences—that sort of thing." She let out a small sigh. "It's taking them awhile… but I guess this kind of thing has to, right?" Snorting, she fiddled with several blades of grass. "Can only hope they know what they're doing this time."

Picking at a twig underneath one hand, Hope tried to keep his gaze forward, not sure if he wanted to see her expression right now or not. "So… you think it's good though… right?"

He heard her exhale slowly. "Yeah… I guess. We have to understand each other. And I-I know that now. So I can't have anything to complain about because, in a way, I guess you were right. Fighting doesn't solve everything." The volume of her voice had dropped considerably and suddenly, Hope cursed himself for bringing up that particular topic when he should've known that there would've been _other _strings attached to it. "I just wish I could've gotten that straight sooner." He didn't miss that catch at the end of that particular sentence, and suddenly, he knew what had been bothering her.

That singular realization caused him to shift over unconsciously; shoulders touching, the warmth of that contact made her relax a little, the restless shredding of grass in her slim fingers slowing. "Light…"

"I know what you're going to say," she countered suddenly, the intensity in her voice taking him by surprise. "And I know… I know I can't go back. But I can't help it—I keep asking myself, if I tried harder to understand Serah, would things have happened the way they did? I don't… It's something I can't stop thinking about, and… will I ever get an answer to that?"

_Why do I always find the worst ways to begin the conversations I want?_

Hating himself more than anything, Hope tugged at her arm before she could continue, but the gesture had already done what he wanted to say. A light pressure weighed down against his left shoulder for a moment before it vanished as several minutes ticked by in silence. Choosing not to say anything—out of fear that he might disturb her or something along those lines—it was Lightning that finally broke the silence. "Sorry," she mumbled. "I promised I'd try, so…"

The quiet apology—that he wholly didn't deserve—and the tenuous assertion that came afterward made him desperate to right the wrong he'd already done. "Light, _I'm _sorry, I shouldn't've—"

She cut him off with a sudden grip to his left hand that made him automatically look up, fully meeting her teal gaze. Moonlight had begun to catch her hair, turning cherry coloured locks into something that resembled silver with the faintest tones of pastel pink as she held his gaze. "Stop. You can apologize to me by telling me why you dragged me out here in the first place. I know it wasn't to talk about _that_, so you can spill the beans now." The almost instantly resumed normalcy in her voice gave him a slight edge in peace of mind, that he hadn't done enough lasting damage to make whatever stupid thing he was going to come up with next sound worthless and looking away wasn't something that was by any stretch of the imagination conceivable at the moment.

Taking a breath that he tried to reassure himself wasn't one he needed to continue the conversation, Hope tried not to let the nerves crack at the back of his voice. "W-Well… I just wanted to thank you."

Blinking, Lightning looked up at him curiously, clearly not having expected that particular turn in the conversation. "For what?" she asked slowly, the grip on his left wrist loosening in her surprise.

_Maker, tell me I'm not going to screw this up. _"For… everything?" _The funny thing is, in some ways that's _completely_ true._ But he could tell from her dry expression that the answer wasn't one she was particularly intrigued with and the twitch of the corner of her lips signalled that she was about to say something when he continued. "Light. For… back then. When, you know… you could've done what he told you to do." Both hands reaching up for her arms now, it was something of a surprise when she didn't fight the grip—he knew she knew exactly what he was talking about and the anguished aggravation in her aquamarine gaze told him she didn't exactly agree with his opinion.

But Lightning kept her mouth shut, and Hope took that opportunity to continue, finding that the volume of his voice lowered too, despite his attempts to try to work around it. "I know what he said to you… so thank you. For, you know… believing in _me._" It was selfish by any stretch of the imagination and for one dire moment, he thought he'd done something wrong; the shock in her eyes was clear and he was afraid that he'd said something to offend her. _I-I didn't mean… _

He'd only just opened his mouth to voice that particular statement when he felt her tug back at him, the strength in her slender hands, as always, surprising. "I-I…" Biting her lip, she lowered her head the slightest inch, enough for bangs to slip into her eyes and obscuring his view of most of her face. He didn't know what was going through her mind at the moment—but if her surprise was any indication, what _he _thought had come to be wasn't the same in her mind. "But I almost did." The admission was quiet, but right now, he didn't think it mattered.

"But you didn't," he argued, trying to get her to look back at him, desperate for the reassurance that he hadn't said something wrong. "You didn't, so…"

_I won't lie—at that moment, it was like everything that we'd been through hadn't been for nothing; that I knew I wasn't just _something_ to her—that she knew she could rely on me and that… _

The words that had come after that had been impossibly warming, clear in his mind as if it'd happened yesterday; something that Hope knew he wouldn't allow himself to ever forget. _"I love you." _

He looked down in time to see her raise her head before closing her eyes, a small sigh escaping the back of her throat. "Okay." The word was barely audible over the sound of the wind as Lightning leaned forward, her forehead coming to rest against his throat. "Okay," she repeated, the second reiteration only marginally louder than the first.

Looping his hands around to her back, they remained that way for a few long moments; waiting for her heartbeat to slow, he tried to calm his own breathing, painfully aware of the fact that his was probably just as evident to her as hers was to him. Minutes stretching on in silence, the moon had almost touched the bottom of Cocoon's curve before he finally broke it, drawing away from her to fish for the _'something'_ stuffed away in a pocket. "So… I wanted to thank you."

Clenching the scar on his right palm around the tiny object, its coldness spread tangible fingers of calm throughout his otherwise nervous frame. And in retrospect, he had no reason to be; just like something that might've been foretold a faded memory from centuries past, there wasn't anything here that was uncertain… unless she'd somehow changed her mind. _And that wouldn't happen, right? _

There was no time to entertain that particular sentiment because surprise had taken over her expression again, fading to something else he couldn't identify by words alone when he caught her wrist with his free hand. Gently prising open slender fingers, the rough, calloused palm suddenly interrupted by the distinctive smoothness of new scar tissue was a reminder before he pressed the tiny thing against it.

Lightning jerked her head up sharply when the outline of the small metal object was impressed against her palm; the expression in her eyes told him she knew exactly what it was, but it was only when she held it up between two fingers did he see the tremble in her hands.

But when she held his tentative gaze, the ring closed tight in her fist, once again, Hope had no words for the look in her eyes; he wasn't even sure whether it was because he couldn't see all of her features or whether it was because he didn't have any tangible descriptions for the heavy emotion in them.

She held his gaze for a few more heartbeats—ones that might've lasted much, much longer than that—before she closed them again. Pressing her lips together, she bowed her head slightly, clenching her other hand over her already closed one. "No," came the quiet reply. "Thank _you."_

* * *

Sitting down in her assigned seat, Lightning couldn't help but think about the last time she'd been at the meeting hall in Eden's Command; the tension in her muscles, their rigidity betraying her own fear of the enormity of the task ahead of them. This time, the atmosphere couldn't have been more different—relaxed, there was no sense of wariness that clung to the officers spread beneath her.

Unable to share that enthusiasm, she fiddled with the edge of her left glove, the blue fabric concealing the thin metal band on one finger. Its weight still felt strange—she wasn't used to the coolness of that silver nor was she used to the sensation of it when she moved her hand. _But, it's not… _She couldn't seem to put the situation into words, but somehow it didn't feel like a bad thing—she didn't _need_ to be able to describe that. And if she was honest with herself, there was a small part of her that was something close to excited, something that only a few years ago, she would've never let herself admit existed. _But what's the point of lying to myself anymore? _The answer was that there was none and the time it had taken her to realize that might've scared her if she'd placed herself in that past.

_I don't forget—I never will. And it's taken me a long time to realize that that wasn't the end of the line for me; that there _was_ a future for me, no matter what I would've thought. _The old Lightning would've never admitted something like that was possible, and somehow, here she was. _It's because of who I met—we're defined by the people we meet. No. Not just _meet_:_ _understand._ That was a concept that'd taken her a long time to accept as well, but looking down, she could believe it; that something as simple as 'understanding', as Hope would've put it, could've brought them to where they were now.

The magnified clearing of a throat brought her attention away from her thoughts; watching the general climb up the steps to the podium, microphone in one hand, crumpled paper in the other, she could believe it.

* * *

_Early Summer, 5 AF. _

The white spread of the thin fabric underneath the large, ornate mirror was spotlessly clean underneath the bright light, the lacy edge something she never would've—and still wouldn't—consider something worth spending money on. Wincing slightly at the small silver hairpin slid against the back of her head, for the first time in months, her hair was off of her left shoulder, twisted up into some elaborate hairstyle Lightning didn't think she would ever care to replicate again.

A slender finger hooking several spikes of longer hair from the back of the bun, it was left to curl against the side of her temples, framing the features that had been erased by a layer of pale makeup—something _else_ she would never consider worth the time to buy. A hand brushed back the cherry coloured bangs from her face. "Close your eyes," came the quiet order.

Obliging, the unfamiliar pressure against her skin made her want to scratch it off; why, oh _why _was this kind of thing necessary? It wasn't like he hadn't seen her without it all—one day wasn't going to make a difference. Fighting the urge to squirm under the foreign contact, the irritation hidden under everything else this day would've symbolized was threatening to make a reappearance.

Informing her that she could now open her eyes again, the quiet sound of the door closing came after the mirror was replaced in front of her. Blinking open her eyes, she almost couldn't recognize the creature staring back at her—dark lashes traced against smooth, unlined, skin, it wasn't her. _I-I don't… _And for some reason, that thought struck a dark fear into her heart; that this wasn't her—at that, a flash of panic momentarily wiped all other thoughts from her head. _This isn't a mistake, is it? _

Vulnerabilities threatening to make their way to the surface, it was a few moments before Lightning regained the courage to stare back at herself. _No. _This_ isn't a mistake—it's not and it never will be. I don't trust anyone like this and there's never going to another answer. _

Standing for a moment, the weight of the cloth against her shoulders stunned her for a heartbeat; she hadn't realized _quite _how heavy the floor-length dress was and the soft clatter of pearlescent beads sewn against the gathered waist reminded her of just how close the imminent event was now. The familiar weight of her pendant gone, it had been replaced by a necklace that made her feel even more out of her own skin than she already was.

Pink locks against her left shoulder gone, she truly didn't recognize herself anymore and it was only the ring of a familiar comm left lying against the table that reminded her of who she was underneath everything she was wearing at the moment.

Picking up the plastic with a hand devoid of anything save the ring Hope had given her, the smoothness of it struck her as unfamiliar too. "Who is it?" Only her voice sounded the same, but against everything else, that was of little comfort.

"_Lieutenant-Colonel. What should we do about the band that lives near the gorge? Should we leave them out of the treaty, or…?" _

Raising a hand to her temples, conscious of disturbing the features that had been redrawn onto her face, she tried to think without being too distracted by what she was seeing on the mirror set against the opposite wall. "They were responsible for making the armistice possible; leave them alone for now. If they don't break the treaty, we've got nothing to do with them."

"_Roger." _The click of the call ending, somehow, she was reluctant to place the comm back down on the table, almost as though letting go of it was letting go of the last of what was soon to be something of the past. _Okay, Farron—you're being way too sensitive about all of this. Keep this up and he'll notice too. _But she couldn't help it; scolding herself didn't do anything for the mess of emotions that was somewhere inside and she knew it.

Pacing to get her thoughts straight was out of the question—the _thing_ she was wearing didn't allow for movement like that of any kind and the thin, half-translucent piece of fabric hanging off the back of the chair didn't do anything for the rampant thoughts and feelings making their way through her head at the moment.

A soft, demure knock at the door broke into them. "Can I come in?"

The familiar voice sent her heartbeat into overdrive; Lightning wasn't even sure she could face _herself _at the moment, let alone _him. _But she had no good reason to refuse him and no time to; Hope had opened the door without her consent.

She barely had time to focus on what _he _was wearing when he caught one of her arms, already having noticed her aggravated expression, the one on his own face turning into one of concern. "Okay... what's wrong?" Instantly diving to the question that was more or less the crux of everything that had happened recently, the voice at the back of her head could admit he was getting better at this, spotting her out before she could even try to _begin _to hide it under a neutral expression.

Afraid to hold his gaze, Lightning found herself backtracking until the back of her knees bumped against the couch set to the back of the room; sitting down out of habit, the discomfort of the fabric tightening against her back only served to distress her further. Knotting her hands together, that didn't stop the way they itched to do anything but sit here in this room; the glint of silver on the back of her left hand that caught the light didn't help.

But Hope was still waiting for an answer and she'd learnt the hard way that concealing things from him 'for the greater good' wasn't the way to try and make things better. "Nothing." Catching the instantaneous skeptical look in his familiar emerald gaze, she clarified her statement before he could open his mouth. "Nothing's _wrong_," she rectified, "just… overwhelmed, I guess." _It's an understatement, but if I tell him what's really going through my head he's going to think I've changed my mind. _

"Why? You, well… you sort of knew this was coming." And as she predicted, there was a slight edge of hurt to his voice that she hadn't meant to cause, and she reached for his hand with her own, shaking her head once.

Lightning tightened that contact for a moment before allowing herself to look back up. "_No_… it's not that. It's just… this day happened for Serah too. And…"

_And look how quickly it was torn away from her. From everyone. Can I really…_

Hope moved his other hand to cover their conjoined ones, closing warm fingers over the left hand that was already twisted in his grasp. The suddenly pained expression on his face told her he knew exactly what she was talking about and Lightning hated herself for it—it hadn't been something she was supposed to be thinking about. _And I have to go and ruin this moment for him too. _It was _wrong_, but it was already too late for her to change that. "We can't know how the future turns out," he started quietly, also carefully looking away from her. "But if you think like that, nothing will ever seem like something good to you. What happened back then… no one can say something like that couldn't happen again. But we've got to try to make sure it won't, right?"

The careful optimism in his voice was something she worked to hold onto—deep down inside, there was a part of her that knew he was right on at least more than one level. _I told myself, and I promised… _ Trying to internalize that, Lightning tried to let his words calm the frayed emotions that toyed with the edges of her consciousness, surprised to find that the contact between their hands gave her some aspect of calm—that in this moment, something like that couldn't happen again.

He tugged back at her, the strength in the second enough to pull her to her feet as he gently pushed her in front of the mirror. Stumbling slightly, she opened her eyes to find herself staring, once again, at the unfamiliar creature gazing back from the smooth silver surface, her blue eyes shadowed with some turmoil of emotions that wholly unsuited the choice of dress. The only familiar thing about the reflection was Hope looking over one shoulder, hands gripping the exposed skin just on her upper arms. "You're beautiful," he commented quietly, staring into the eyes of her reflection. "So smile, okay?"

The light tone to it drew an exasperated snort as Lightning felt the corners of her lips quirk upwards; looking sideways, embarrassed at how easily she'd let him get to her, she felt the throaty chuckle at her back. "There you go."

Staying in that position for a few long, drawn out moments, his steady heartbeat at her back calmed her, giving her something to focus on as she tried to emulate his even breathing. "Okay," he finally murmured quietly. "I have to go. Don't… just don't beat yourself up again while I'm gone, okay?" The last sentence drew another small smile to her lips as Lightning turned, fingers held steady at her sides.

"Okay," she agreed, watching him mirror the minute expression.

Burying his nose against the top of her head for a moment, he looked down at her again for a brief moment before turning. "See you soon."

Watching him leave, resettling herself at the chair she'd sat in before he'd arrived, Lightning tried not to let the nerves flare the moment his comforting presence was gone. Remembering her training, she focussed only on her breathing, keeping it light and even as she closed her eyes again. Counting the seconds mentally, time could not be far off now.

The second demure knock at the door came all too soon as she automatically moved to get up, knowing what this one was for. Gentle hands flicking the almost weightless translucent fabric over her forehead, her body seemed to go on autopilot the moment the door was held open for her.

Still concentrating on her breathing, Lightning allowed her mind to wander when her body shifted into what had been drilled into her in the past few weeks. There would be Snow, who would no doubt never let her forget the fact that she'd been forced into an actual dress. The gentle hands that had done her makeup belonged to Sveta, the sister of the Meurite that had saved her life when she'd left Hope behind in that fateful moment of utter anger. And apart from the people that surrounded their immediate lives, there wasn't anyone to really share this with—not that she would've had things any other way.

_It's personal—no need to shout it about to the entire world that I'm getting married. _

The thought would've brought a wistful, dry smile to her face if she didn't know that Snow would give her a hard time about it later; no doubt he would end up completely misinterpreting that expression. _But… there're some things that won't change. This is one of them. _

Brilliant sunlight hit her face almost too soon, and Lightning spared one glance upwards towards the almost uninterrupted periwinkle blue sky above. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the bright blossoms of the tree that had been planted so long ago by Snow, their petals catching the faint hint of a breeze. The words that had been spoken to her not half an hour ago suddenly reverberating in her head, she repeated them to herself quietly.

_And right now… I believe you._

* * *

**Oh goddess, please tell me I did something _right_ here.  
**


	45. Epilogue - Alone Right Now

**Aaaaand yep. (Long-ass A/N this time)  
**

**So this chapter's early, but then again, the epilogue (this time around) was meant to be short and sweet, but I'll go ahead and give myself a lollipop for being early, hooray! The thanks list is LONG this time around-thank you too_ all _of you who've stuck with me on this particular ride, with its ups and down, and... everything in between that's happened. D:  
**

**Thank you to: Zapper90, LawMan, Jack Hargreave, Castiel, Whistlewind Wolf, YuffentineRippalLightHope, resistance123, Dash Handsom, Mylaervain, SlowActingPoison, 2 lol, HappyHope, Lightarcana, kanarie, ChileanGuest, Lieutenant General Sora Hikaru, hopeNlight, Saccharo, That Random Guy, KeeepSmiling, madapocket, Tager96, thewhitespirit, Berl, GunMetalX, Crowley, Crystal, VengeanceUpholding, Myrrdinfalcon, homerninja88, and _all _the other numerous anons that didn't leave me a name to call them by other than "Guest". :( Thank you guys so much - this fic wouldn't have made it here without all of you, whether it was in reviews or just by favourites/alerts, so thank you all again for making my first fic (if this can even be called that, but you guys get the idea, right?) such a successful one. (And if I missed you, I'm sorry - I went through 19 pages of reviews, so I do apologize if I did).  
**

**_Special Thanks: __  
_To LadyAlaska—without whom this fic and its prequel would've never come to exist without,  
To H-thar—who kept me alive these last few treacherous weeks (month(s)?) with the humour and slice-of-life topics that have never failed to make me smile,  
To That One Reviewee—whose support and insight have just been amazing,  
To GKMader—who I know is still waiting for that oneshot, and I have to apologize for because that's still in its planning stages. :(  
**

**That being said, I'm not done with all the HxL after this - those two are an inescapable part of my life and dammit, why are they so awesome? *cries* I've already got a _new _HxL fic in the works; chapter 1 has already been posted under the FFXIII-2 fandom and I _can't wait_ to get started on that. The glorious HxL moments that are forthcoming are literally making me squirm in my seat right now and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited. (With regards to that, I'm hoping for an update process much like this fic has been since September - once a week, give or take?) I'll be taking a bit of a break between now and posting chapter 2, which'll come hopefully this side of December or so, so I'll see you all soon! c:**

**That being said, drop a review if you're so inclined; I'd love some feedback in preparation for some soon-to-be HxL. Enjoy as always!**

* * *

Epilogue: Alone Right Now

Wind crept in slow motion across the heavy blades of summer grass; touched to silver by the rising moonlight, it was tranquil in a way she wouldn't have associated with Pulse just less than a year ago. The shimmering shell of Cocoon cast with a bluish light just visible over the tops of the trees, Lightning tightened her arms around her knees, the thin silver bands fitted around one finger catching the faint light as she did so.

The sight of them still drew something of an exasperated smile to her lips whenever they caught her attention, but three months into the concept called 'marriage' hadn't really changed anything and she knew it. It was something she still had to get used to—but this time, it was more of the notion itself than what the term actually embodied.

The raucous laughter of Snow drifting from the open door to the living room, she'd left half an hour to escape from it. _He'll never learn, will he? _Stopping in on one of his errands, by the time she'd gotten home, he'd already been sitting on her couch. Pinching the bridge of her nose at the memory, the 'casual' jokes had escalated to the point that if she hadn't been conscious of Hope discreetly trying to calm her down behind her back, she might've incapacitated him for.

As things were, staring outside to the dark outline of trees didn't quite soothe that particular annoyance and Lightning didn't have any plans whatsoever to go back in until the big blond had left. Restless energy pent up somewhere inside, she got to her feet, movements aimless until they took her to the base of the tree, gnarled roots coming off to her as black in the dim lighting provided by the still-rising moon. Sinking down again, back to the rough surface of the bark, the idle fingers of her right hand played with the fallen leaves that had landed around her, toying with their spiky edges.

_Hey… Serah? We'll be okay, right? _

It was a reassurance she'd wanted since day one—and one that no one could give her. Well aware of this particular fact, it didn't stop her from thinking about it nor did Lightning think she would _ever _stop thinking about it. _He told me to believe in it—the future we both wanted to create. But is it enough? _That was a question she didn't think she had an answer to; a question _no one _had an answer to.

And thinking back, she couldn't have had an answer to any of the things that'd happened to them… not without prior knowledge; not without the effort that had been made on more than one person's behalf to try to get her to open up. _Tch. _The mental image of that made her want to snort out loud. _When I first met him back in the Hanging Edge, could I really have imagined falling in love with the kid I wanted to ditch in the Vile Peaks? _

Lightning didn't think she wanted to answer that question for herself either.

_But I'm not going to lie. I wouldn't have gotten here—I wouldn't _be _here—if he wasn't; there wouldn't be the future I would've wanted because I wouldn't have believed I had one. _

Leaning her head back for a moment, staring at the quivering silhouettes of red leaves outlined in black above her head, it was like those memories had come back with a vengeance. Mixed between something she could admit was happiness and the complete flipside of that, they'd almost become a record of sorts—loves and losses buried under the weight of everything that'd happened. Closing her eyes, their tangibility frightened her; the way she could feel those emotions as though she was still there wasn't something she thought Hope would be happy to know about.

_But I can't help it—there're some things I can't forget and there're things that've happened that I would never have made it here without. _It had been something that she'd come to realize on her own—that she never would've come to stand where she was now without everything that had happened to her. And somehow, it was a _lonely _feeling, one that she wasn't sure was _right _for her to contemplate: that she would've never made it to where she was now if Serah hadn't…

_Stop. _

She didn't think she could handle the emotional backlash if her thoughts went _there _and Lightning forced herself to stop, trying to calm the already-aggravated heartbeat that had settled at the base of her throat. Slender fingers tightening on the hem of the thin sweatpants underneath the cotton of her tank top, she forced herself to calm down. _Stop. That's not helping… and you know it._

Blinking open aquamarine eyes, she stared upwards again, finding the silvery edge of the moon that had just bitten into the bottom curve of Cocoon's shell, turning the entire crystal structure into a luminous blue orb. Keeping her eyes on the sight, she worked on taking exaggerated breaths, something she hoped her heartbeat would begin to emulate sooner or later.

Focussing on the task at hand, she didn't hear the soft _crunch crunch_ of footsteps on grass until they were too close for her to run away from—until Lightning remembered that she wasn't supposed to have a reason to. Panic filled her chest for a moment; she didn't _want _him to see her like this and who knew how much Hope could piece together when he saw her expression face-to-face?

Working on keeping her gaze straight ahead, he settled beside her, silent for a few moments, making no move to distract her in any way. She didn't know if he knew something was off; the restless movement of his hands made her sure that he knew _something _wasn't right and he wanted to do something about it. "Snow left, you know," he remarked finally, fingers pausing in their weaving of strands of grass, "if that's the reason you banished yourself out here for."

Part of her wanted her to tell him _why _she was still here; the other half of her screamed that that was a stupid thing to do. Unsure of whether she was supposed to respond or not, Lightning stared down at her hands again, forcibly making her fingers their trembling; clasping them together against her knees, she wasn't sure if he'd noticed that particular effort to hide that.

She felt him shift ever so slightly next to her; the skin on their arms now touching, she was envious of the steady rise and fall of his shoulders, wishing that her body was capable of emulating it at this particular moment. _And now he knows for sure something's wrong. Not like I would've been able to hide it for very long in the first place._

"Okay," Hope finally breathed out, "I can tell something's bothering you right now… it's not just Snow, is it?" The slightly abashed tone in his voice made her feel like he was trying to coax an answer out of a reluctant kid, and that thought didn't make her feel better—because in some ways, Lightning _felt _like one; it wasn't his fault she'd been using him as an emotional walking stick and the only person she had to blame was herself. When she didn't reply immediately, he took a different approach, the insistence in his quiet tones a little more obvious than it had been before. "What's wrong?"

Looking down at her hands, Lightning wasn't sure if she wanted to give him a straight answer or not; she hadn't foreseen dragging him into her own personal emotional difficulties this time around and the breadth of the concepts she'd tried to already think through scared her. But he _was_ waiting for an answer, and she knew him too well to hope that he would let her off without one. "Just… thinking about some things."

To her surprise, her voice came out stronger than she would've expected it to be; the catch at the end of it wasn't quite as noticeable and she hoped—_hoped_—that that would convince him that it wasn't anything serious. "Like what?" Hope asked lightly, the casual tone in his voice hinting that he knew more than he let on, and Lightning felt a stab of something akin to guilt mixed with a certain amount of frustration; he knew her too well to know that it couldn't be something as simple as she'd tried to imply and humouring her, as he was doing now, didn't change the fact that he wanted to help her.

Looking away, finding a spot on a pine tree close to the edge of her property to fix her gaze on, she took a breath. _Be honest—he was never anything but with you and it's the least you can do… you owe it to him to be honest too. _"You really want to know?" _It—It's not something I would've wanted you to deal with; it's _wrong_, even in my head, and saying it out loud would only make it worse._

She heard a small, sharp intake of breath somewhere near the vicinity of her forehead, before he let it out slowly; the muscles underneath the arm touching hers tensed for a moment before relaxing. "Yeah… it's better if you just say it, rather than keeping it to yourself, right?"

Still carefully looking away, Lightning felt her hands tighten around her knees again, nails digging into her skin. Drawing her knees to her chest, she buried the lower half of her face against them, bangs slipping into her direct field of vision. "If none of this had happened," she started quietly, the whisper muffled against her knees, "would we be where we are now?"

The extended silence that dragged on between them told her Hope knew exactly what _'this' _was and his inability to form something only went to confirm that it was _wrong. _Trying to amend that mistake, Lightning lifted her head from her knees. "Look, Hope, I—it was stupid, okay? Forget I ever said anything." _I didn't mean to… _

He caught her lower arm when she made a motion to get up.

"Light, stop," he begged her, "that's not what I meant." The soft spike of pain at the back of his voice made her freeze. "It just… You surprised me, that's all."

_That _statement made her look around to stare at him for the first time, trepidation and something akin to guilt rising at the back of her throat when she caught the flicker of anguish in his expression. "Why?" she choked out, hating the emotions that crossed the back of his gaze and hating herself even more for being the cause of them.

He met her gaze for the fraction of a heartbeat before looking away, the grip he had on her wrist tightening. "Because, well… it's something I've asked myself," he finally admitted quietly, flicking his eyes up to gauge her expression before looking down again. Hope didn't give her the chance to say something before he continued. "It's been something I've been wondering ever since… ever since the first time things happened… you know? If Mom didn't die back at the Hanging Edge, would I ever have met you?" The emotions at the back of the simple question wanted to make her run—Lightning hadn't been prepared to deal with this sort of vulnerability, especially from Hope, who she'd always—shamefully—come to count on for emotional support; hearing the barely suppressed pain at the back of those words made her remember that things weren't one way and that only went to magnify the sense of guilt that was rising at the back of her throat.

_I didn't mean…_

Out of things to say before _one_ of them would've taken advantage of the frayed emotions she was struggling to keep under control, she simply kept her gaze averted, finding their conjoined fingers limp at her side only to remember that was what he was looking at too. "Sorry," she murmured, glad that the one syllable word didn't rake through the last vestiges of composure like they didn't exist. "I didn't mean to…"

"Hey. " The soft _crunch _of grass as Hope shifted his position was accompanied by something warm pressing down against their now interlocked fingers. "Telling me was better than keeping it shut up inside, okay? Don't worry about it." The quiet conviction in his voice made her look up; the tranquility in his gaze startled her.

Taking a breath, Lightning bit the inside of her bottom lip, trying to gather what was left of her thoughts when a particularly ironic one crossed her mind. _Funny. Life or death situations, I can deal with. But when it comes down to how I feel—and how I _deal _with those feelings, I feel more helpless than a kid. _"So… how do you deal with this?" she asked quietly. "How do you keep going with that hanging over your head?"

"Because it's only going to hurt you, if you keep thinking like that. All the what-if's won't help you when you can't change them." He tugged at her wrist gently. "I guess… the real answer is that we won't know—we'll _never _know. So thinking about it like that… it's not worth your time thinking through, okay?"

The evenness to his tone was calming, in a way, and Lightning could admit that she _wanted _to believe him—there was a part of her, selfishly, that _wanted _to stop hurting. The enormity of that thought struck her perhaps a heartbeat after it crossed her consciousness. "So… I should just… stop thinking about it?" she mumbled, unsure if the answer was even a right one.

She looked up to find the faintest hint of a smile quirking at the corner of his lips. "Something like that. Look," he continued, seriousness sliding slowly back into his tone, "I'm not saying it doesn't hurt. Because it does… and because I know there're some things that aren't meant to be forgotten. But… it doesn't have to hurt forever if you don't want it to—Serah wouldn't have wanted you to spend the rest of your life thinking about stuff like that… she would've _wanted _you to be happy, even if she wasn't there."

The soft remark pulled up a long buried memory, one that tugged sharply at her heart. _"You see? None of this would've happened, if I didn't step out to save you. So it's okay, because I know that they'll be something beautiful in that future." _ The words drawing a faint sound from the back of her throat, hearing and remembering them again didn't make it hurt any less than it had before.

_Except this time… I _want _to believe them. I-I couldn't have foreseen it then… but now, right now, it's something that I think I can believe._

Suddenly pulled into an advertent, unexpected embrace, Lightning found her forehead bumping awkwardly with his throat, her own arms still limp at her sides as Hope wrapped his around her back. Surprised for a few heartbeats, she allowed herself to relax into it, the sudden warmth more calming than she would've liked to admit on a good day as she slowly raised her hands to rest on his shoulders. "You _have_ a future, okay?" The quiet reassurance beside her right ear was a little hesitant and it didn't take her long to figure out which one of her reactions had warranted that. "So don't… you know."

The last sentence drew a half-amused, half-still anguished laugh from her lips; shaking her head slightly, Lightning tightened her grip on him. "Right… sorry," she apologized again, shifting back in earnest to stare up at his expression. "I really am sorry," she clarified quietly, "I didn't mean to bring something like that up when…"

Hope gave her the gentlest of all shakes. "Stop," he repeated, meeting her gaze with his own intent green one, "for the last time—it's okay. Just… remember it next time, okay?" The slight teasing edge to those words elicited the ghost of a smile from the corner of her lips when he drew her closer. His lips touched hers, drawing memories created since the time she'd mentioned those vulnerabilities last; the thought was strong enough to maintain the small smile when she returned it, slipping her arms around his shoulders, bringing one hand against his neck.

He drew back after a few moments, sliding his gaze back to hers. "I love you."

Lightning held his gaze, the words no longer sounding foreign, awkward, or by any stretch of the imagination something that would've been hard to admit in the time that had passed in the months since; reiterated quietly over and over, the syllables felt familiar and wholly _right_—only magnified when it didn't feel difficult at all to return them. "I love you too." Because_ of everything that's happened… and everything that'll come to be. It's not something that'll be changed by that future, no matter what happens. _

As her forehead slipped forwards to rest against the hollow of his throat, she slowly pulled her free arm to wrap around her stomach.

_I know it._


End file.
